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Photographic 

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23  WEST  MAIN  STREET 

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CIHM/ICMH 

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1 

2 

3 

32X 


1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

/' 


■:>  ) 


LIFE  OF  MRS.  MARY  BRADLEY. 


I  ^ 


INCH 


"l! 

that  li 
tliat  di 


NARRATIVE 


OF   THR 


LIFE  AND  CHRISTIAN  EXPERIENCE 


OP 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY, 


OF 


SAINT  JOHN,  NEW  BRUNSWICK. 


WRITTEN   BY   HERSELF. 


INCLUDING   EXTRACTS   FROM   ITER   DIARY   AND    CORRESPONDENCE  DURING 
A   PERIOD   OF   UPWARDS  OF   SIXTV   YEARS. 


"  I  am  not  ashamed  :  for  I  know  wliom  I  have  believed,  and  am  persuaded 
that  he  is  able  to  keep  that  which  I  have  committed  unto  him,  against 
that  day."  — 2  Timo.  1 :  12, 


BOSTON: 

PUBLISHED    FOR    THE    AUTHOR, 

BY    STRONG    &    BRODHEAD, 

No.    1,    Cornhill. 

1849. 


-V 'v  ;*,  T> 


Boston  : 
Geo.  C.  Rand  &  Co.,  Printers, 
No.  3,  Cornhill. 


fth 


J  'HI. 


be  I 

o( 

to 

in 

Chi 

aiK 


99^^ 


t 


D  E  D  I C  A  T I  O  N  . 


It  may  be  expected  by  many,  that  some  reason  should 
be  assirrned  for  sending  forth  into  the  world,  this  statement 
of  the  experience  and  life  of  an  individual,  so  little  known 
to  the  community.  I  have  only  to  say,  that  my  sole  object 
in  ;^iving  to  the  world  this  hitliorto  private  account  of  my 
Christian  life,  is  to  endeavor  to  promote  the  glory  of  God 
and  the  good  of  my  fellow  creatures. 

I  dedicate  this  Volume  to  the  kind  atten^'cn  of  the 
Wesleyan  Ministers,  Trustees,  Stewards  and  Leaders, 
Superintendants  and  Teachers  of  Sabbath  Schools ;  and 
request  their  kind  co-operation  in  its  gratuitous  distribu- 
tion ;  hoping  that  it  may  be  made  a  blessing  to  the  souls 
of  many  in  its  perusal,  as  it  has  been  to  myself  in  its  prep- 
aration for  pubhcation,  so  that 

"  Graoo,  all  tlio  work  may  crnwii, 
Tliruut^h  fverlastiiiir  days  ; 
Which  lays  In  Ht-aven  the  topmost  stom-, 
And  Avell  deserves  the  jn-aise." 

I  am  affectionately  yours, 

In  the  Lord  Jesus, 

MARY  BRADLEY. 


E- 


CONTENTS. 
— ♦— 

CHAPTER  I. 9 

CHAPTER  II. 14 

CHAPTER  III. 23 

CHAPTER  IV. 33 

CHAPTER  V. 40 

CHAPTER  VI. 43 

CHAPTER  VII. 57 

CHAPTER  VIII. 75 

CHAPTER  IX. 84 

CHAPTER  X. 91 

CHAPTER  XI. 101 

CHAPTER  XII. 106 

CHAPTER  XIII. 112 

CHAPTER  XIV. 124 

CHAPTER  XV. 133 

CHAPTER  XVI.       -        -        -        ■        -        -  146 

CHAPTER  XVII. 158 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 167 

CHAPTER  XIX. 174 

CHAPTER  XX. 188 

CHAPTER  XXI. 193 

CHAPTER  XXII. 203 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 207 


B] 

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firsl 


LIFE  AND   KXI'KRIEXCI': 


or 


MRS.   MAIIY   lUJADLKV. 


CHAPTER    I. 


I    WAS    born    in    GagctoAvn,    Queens   County,   Niny 
Brunswick,  September  1,  1771.      My  parents   came   to 
this  province  from  Pomfret,  State  of  Connecticut,  in  the 
year  1763.     My  father's  name  was  Edward   McCoy,  l)ut 
being  brought  up  by  his   grandratlier,    wlio   dro{)ped   the 
Mc,  it  Avas  not  agai1\  resinned.      My    motlier's  maiden 
name  was  Amy  Titus.     Tlicy  Avere  members  of  the  Pres- 
byterian church,  and  had   a  hirge  family,  of  eleven  chil- 
dren—  six  sons  and  five   daughters,  of  whom   I  was  the 
fourth  daughter  and  the  eighth   child.      As    th(    under- 
standing of  their  children  matured,  they  instructed  them 
in  the  ways  of  religion,   restraining  them  from   all   they 
conceived  injurious  to  their  best  interests,  and  furnishing 
them  with  such  education  as  their  situation  and   circum- 
stances admitted —  being  little  more  than  they  learned 
at  home,  excepting  the  two  youngest. 

Being  among  the  first  settlers  in  this  new  country,  they 

labored  under  serious  disadvantages  for  many  years.     My 

third  sister,  (as  I  was  informed  by  my  parents,)  was   the 

first  female  born  of  English  or  American  parents  up  the 

2  9 


10 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


river  St.  John.  My  mother  was  of  a  weakly  constitu- 
tion, and  my  father  losing  his  eyesight,  became  incapa- 
])lc  of  labor,  Avhich  was  very  detrimental  to  our  tem- 
poral interests.  IJut,  glory  be  to  God  for  all  his  mercies, 
by  whose  kind  providence  ways  and  means  for  our  com- 
fortable support  were  furnished  for  many  years  before  my 
father's  death. 

The  first  revival  of  religion  which  occurred  here,  was 
eflfected  through  the  instrumentality  of  a  young  man, 
who  sought  the  Lord  in  his  sickness,  and  some  time  before 
his  death  obtaining  the  salvation  of  his  soul,  immediately 
commenced  exiiorting  his  neighbors  and  friends  to  seek 
the  Lord  as  he  had  done,  in  such  a  way  as  proved  the 
conversion  of  many  precious  souls  —  the  greater  part  of 
whom  continued  steadfast  in  the  truth,  and  were  at  length 
embodied  into  a  Presbyterian  church,  which  was  the  first 
Christian  society  formed  in  our  infant  settlement. 

The  first  check  of  conscience  wWfch  I  recollect  to  have 
felt,  was  in  the  sixth  year  of  my  age,  a  little  after  our 
family  removed  from  Gagetown  to  Maugesville,  in  the 
year  1776.  While  sitting  in  a  room  on  the  Sabbath  day, 
I  thought  I  would  get  my  play  things  and  divert  myself 
in  handling  and  looking  them  over,  and  when  I  had  got 
them  placed  before  me,  the  thought  occurred  to  me  that 
I  ought  not  to  play  on  the  Sabbath  day.  Then  I  said  in 
my  heart,  Why  need  I  fear,  for  my  parents  do  not  know 
it,  and  there  is  no  one  present  to  inform  them,  that  they 
should  correct  me  ?  I  did  not  consider  that  there  was 
One  whom  I  ought  to  fear  ;  a  deep  impression  came  upon 
my  mind  that  God  saw  me,  and  it  was  wicked  to  play 
upon  his  holy  day. 

I  thought  he  would  be  angry  with  me  if  I  did  so.     I 


d 

ai 
b 


] 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


11 


constitu- 
e  iucapa- 
our  tem- 
i  mercies, 
our  com- 
>efore  my 

bere,  was 
mg  man, 
no  before 
nediatelj 
to  seek 
oved  the 
[■  part  of 
at  length 
the  first 

to  have 
fter  our 
in  the 
ith  day, 
myself 
ad  got 
e  that 
said  in 
t  know 
lat  they 
ire  was 
e  upon 
jo  play 

so.     I 


«! 


instantly  felt  such  a  fear  come  over  me  that  I  arose  and 
put  away  all  my  toys. 

I  was  much  terrified  on  being  told  there  was  to  be  a 
day  of  judgment,  when  this  world  would  be  burned  up, 
and  all  things  that  are  therein,  and  that  the  wicked  should 
be  burned  up  at  that  day. 

I  was  told  I  must  pray  when  I  retired  to  rest  at  night. 
I  then  began  to  be  much  alarmed  under  an  apprehension 
of  a  future  punishment,  a  place  of  fire  and  brimstone, 
which  would  never  be  quenched,  where  the  souls  of  the 
wicked  would  be  banished  the  moment  they  left  the  body, 
and  there  to  continue  to  all  eternity. 

About  that  time  a  young  girl  died  in  the  settlement. 
It  was  said  of  her  tliat  she  was  a  good  girl,  and  that  she 
was  gone  to  heaven.  I  also  heard  of  some  others  who 
were  said  to  be  good  people.  I  therefore  began  to  under- 
stand that  there  was  a  place  of  hapjiiness  for  the  good, 
as  well  as  a  place  of  punishment  for  the  wicked.  ]>ut 
that  gave  me  no  comfort,  for  I  thought  that  the  righteous 
were  born  into  the  world  without  sin,  and  continued  so 
until  death,  and  then  were  received  into  heaven  ;  and 
that  those  who  were  bom  in  sin  remained  in  that  st.  cg 
until  death,  and  then  Avere  sent  to  hell. 

I  did  not  understand  the  plan  of  redemption  through 
our  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  or  that  if  we  repented  of  our  sins, 
God,  for  Christ's  sake,  would  pardon  and  deliver  us  from 
that  awful  state  of  punishment. 

My  mother  frequently  told  me  that  I  was  a  sinner,  and 
that  wicked  peoj)le  went  to  hell,  and  I  believed  her. 
Therefore,  I  had  not  the  least  hope  or  expectation  of  any- 
thing better  but  that  hell  would  be  my  portion  after  this 
life.     These  ideas  made  death  appear  awful  indeed.     I 


12 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


thought  that  God  was  an  angry  Judge ;  I  could  not 
endure  to  think  of  him  one  ininute.  There  was  nothing 
before  me  hut  a  continual  looking  for  of  judgment  and 
fiery  indignation. 

In  that  situation,  I  could  comfort  myself  in  nothing 
but  a  promise  of  long  life.  I  thought  as  I  was  then  but 
young,  and  to  look  forward  to  old  age  seemed  a  great 
while,  entertaining  the  hope  that  I  should  he  spared  until 
I  was  old  in  years ;  but  I  was  so  alarmed  at  the  thoughts 
of  death,  judgment,  and  eternity,  that  a  wish  that  I  had 
been  born  one  of  those  good  children  that  would  go  to 
heaven,  was  frc(iuently  in  my  mind. 

I  was  afraid  of  doing  that  which  was  sinful,  to  speak  a 
wicked  word,  or  to  tell  a  lie.  I  was  one  day  alone  by 
myself,  thhiking  of  my  awful  situation  ;  I  said  in  my 
heart,  What  benefit  Avill  it  be  for  me  to  restrain  myself 
from  that  which  is  evil  and  sinful,  for  hell  will  be  my  por- 
tion when  I  die,  do  what  I  will  ?  Then  I  felt  a  powerful 
temptation  to  speak  whatever  came  into  my  mind.  For  I 
thought  to  be  afraid  of  sin,  was  in  some  degree  a  punish- 
ment in  this  life.  I  thought  I  might  as  well  fill  up  the 
measure  of  my  days  in  all  manner  of  wickedness,  without 
any  restraint.  Then  wicked  words  rushed  into  my  mind 
for  utterance  —  I  opened  my  mouth  and  tried  to  speak 
them,  but  was  restrained  through  fear,  and  had  not  power 
to  speak  one  word,  neither  did  I  ever  feel  such  a  tempta- 
tion again. 

It  was  rumored,  about  this  time,  that  a  distant  island 
had  been  destroyed  and  sunk  by  an  earthquake,  in  the 
time  of  a  dreadful  storm.  That  news  was  awful  to  me  in- 
deed ;  I  was  dreadfully  tempted  that  we  should  share  the 
same  fate.     It  was  so  powerfully  riveted  upon  my  mind, 


G£ 


1 


iMRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


13 


uld  not 
nothing 
ent  and 


nothing 
[len  but 
a  great 
ed  until 
ihoughts 
b  I  had 
1  go  to 


speak  a 
lone   by 
I  in  my 
myself 
my  por- 
lowerful 
For  I 
punish- 
up  the 
without 
ly  mind 
speak 
power 
tempta- 


that  ■when  at  .ra  of  high  wind,  or  thunder  and  lightning 
occurred,  it  seemed  as  if  the  judgments  of  the  Almighty 
■were  just  ready  to  fall  upon  us.  "•  Fear  and  trembling 
took  hold  upon  me."  I  was  also  afraid  that  the  earth 
■would  open  her  mouth  and  swallow  us  up.  I  truly  felt 
the  ibrce  of  that  passage  of  Scripture,  "  There  is  no 
peace,  saith  ray  God,  to  the  wicked  ;  they  are  like  the 
troubled  sea,  whose  waves  cast  up  mire  and  dirt."  About 
this  time,  the  public  mind  became  more  settled  respecting 
the  American  war,  and  my  lather  and  family  returned  to 
Gagetown. 


island 
in  the 
jme  in- 
|ro  the 

.mind, 


CHAPTER    II 


til 

ul 

m 

Ul 


ai 


The  first  tliou<];hts  I  remember  to  have  had  about  Jesus 
Christ  were  in  the  eighth  year  of  my  age.  One  of  my 
brothers  was  reading  about  his  death  and  sufterings  — 
I  Ustened  to  what  lie  read,  and  felt  a  strong  reproof 
in  my  own  lieart,  because  I  had  not  loved  the  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  nor  felt  a  sympathy  for  him  who  suffered 
and  died  for  me. 

I  then  began  to  understand  that  there  was  a  possibility 
of  sinners  escaping  the  wrath  and  curse  of  God,  by  be- 
lieving in  the  Lord  Jesus,  and  loving  him. 

I  felt  an  inward  reproof  because  I  took  no  more  delight 
in  reading  my  Bible  on  the  Sabbath  day.  I  found  it 
rather  a  burden  to  lay  aside  every  other  employment ; 
therefore  I  took  it  into  serious  consideration.  I  thought 
I  not  only  sinned  against  God  by  feeling  an  aversion  to 
my  duty,  but  by  not  delighting  in  my  studies.  I  felt 
such  a  fear,  thinking  of  the  awful  consequences  of  it, 
that  I  immediately  set  up  a  resolution  in  my  mind  that  I 
would  love  my  book  and  embrace  every  opportunity  of 
reading  it. 

I  soon  found  that  my  resolution  was  of  great  service, 
for  I  not  only  increased  in  learning,  but  I  took  great  de- 
light in  reading,  both  on  the  Sabbath  and  week  days.     I 

14 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY. 


15 


ut  Jesus 
e  of  my 
rings  — 
;  reproof 
le  Lord 
suffered 

>ssibility 
by  be- 

delight 
ound  it 
yment ; 
thought 
bion  to 

I  felt 
of  it, 

that  I 

lity  of 

lorvice, 
lat  de- 

V3.       I 


was  in  tlie  habit  of  saying  the  Lord's  prayer,  and  some 
short  scntcncec  which  my  mother  had  taught  me  —  but  I 
felt  that  was  not  sufficient ;  I  wanted  to  pray  as  Chris- 
tians prayed,  but  I  could  not ;  which  gave  me  considerable 
uneasiness.  For  I  had  imbibed  a  notion  that  if  I  did 
nothing  amiss,  and  could  repeat  a  lengthy  form  of  prayer 
upon  my  knees,  I  should  bo  a  good  Christian.  After  I 
had  learned  to  read  so  as  to  understand  one  s  ibject  from 
another,  I  tried  my  best  to  learn  a  form  of  prayer  out  of 
a  book.  But  I  could  not  obtain  peace  or  comfort  to  my 
mind  in  that  way,  for  after  all,  these  prayers  seemed  only 
lip  service,  and  not  from  the  heart.  But  it  was  still  my 
supreme  wish  to  be  one  of  God's  children.  I  felt  then  in 
some  measure  the  terrors  of  my  mind  removed,  through  a 
hope  that  I  should  escape,  by  doing  that  which  was  right  in 
the  sight  of  the  Lord,  and  restraining  myself  from  that 
which  was  sinful.  As  I  grew  oldc-,  my  mother  was  more 
particular  in  her  instructions  upon  the  nature  of  reUgion. 
She  said  that  God  loved  good  children,  and  that  those 
who  were  good  never  need  to  be  afraid,  let  their  danger 
be  what  it  might.  She  would  mention  many  passages  of 
Scripture,  such  as,  "  Go  I  looked  down  from  heaven  upon 
the  children  of  men,  to  see  if  any  sought  after  him  ; " 
Samuel  and  Josiah,  who  sought  the  Lord  in  their  youth  ; 
and  admonished  us  never  to  play  upon  God's  holy  day, 
nor  take  his  blessed  name  in  vain,  and  to  be  obedient  to 
our  parents,  and  live  religious  lives. 

I  believed  all  she  said  was  right,  and  felt  a  mind  wil- 
ling to  obey ;  but  as  yet,  I  had  no  knowledge  of  the  mys- 
tery of  the  new  birth,  repentance  towards  God,  nor  faith 
in  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

I  had  never  had  the  privilege  of  hearing  the  gospel 


16 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


preached  ;  the  minister  havin;i;  removed  to  the  United 
States,  who  had  lived  in  our  nciglihorliood. 

In  the  ninth  year  of  my  age,  Mr.  Henry  Allen,  a  new- 
light  travelling  minister,  came  to  preach.  My  parents 
took  me  with  them  twice  to  meeting.  The  first  text  was, 
"  And  at  midnight  there  was  a  cry  made.  Behold  the 
Bridegroom  cometh  :  go  vc  out  to  meet  him."  Mv  atten- 
tion  was  arrested,  and  for  many  days  after  I  was  engaged 
in  ruminating  and  repeating  over  some  parts  of  the  ser- 
mon. The  second  time  I  heard  him,  the  text  was  from 
Acts,  second  chapter,  and  three  first  verses :  "  And  when 
the  day  of  Pentecost  was  fully  come,  they  were  all  with 
one  accord  in  one  place.  And  suddenly  there  came  a 
sound  from  heaven  as  of  a  rushing  mighty  wind,  and  it 
filled  the  house  where  they  were  sitting.  And  there  ap- 
peared unto  them  cloven  tongues  as  of  fire,  and  it  sat 
upon  each  of  them."  My  mind  was  most  affected  from 
what  he  said  about  the  cloven  tongues  of  fire,  upon  which 
he  dwelt  much  in  the  latter  part  of  his  sermon.  I  im- 
agined the  house  was  full  of  cloven  tongues,  and  I  looked 
upon  the  heads  of  the  people  to  see  if  I  could  not  sec 
them  sitting  upon  each  of  them.  I  felt  an  awful  dread  ; 
but  it  brought  no  light  nor  understanding  to  my  mind. 

After  the  sermon  and  worship  was  over,  I  Avas  aston- 
ished to  see  the  people  talking  and  shaking  hands,  as  I 
never  before  had  witnessed.  Some  looked  of  a  cheerful, 
loving,  and  happy  countenance  ;  others  were  in  tears,  and 
cast  down.  But  I  did  not  at  that  time  understand  the 
cause  of  the  movement.  But  young  as  I  was,  I  felt 
clothed  with  shame,  to  see  the  people  shaking  hands  in 
such  an  unusual  manner,  though  to  any  part  of  the  wor- 
ship I  felt  no  aversion. 


MRS.    MAllV    r.RADLEY, 


17 


d. 

aston- 
as  I 
jerful, 
s,  and 
d  the 
I  felt 
ids  in 


It  soon  became  the  common  suhjcct  of  conversation 
that  such  and  snch  jiersons  were  converted,  and  others 
were  under  conviction  for  sin.  My  two  eldest  brothers 
professed  to  have  met  with  a  change,  and  my  second  sis- 
ter was  under  conviction,  and  received  some  degree  of 
comfort,  but  was  not  brouglit  into  gospel  liberty  until  sev- 
eral years  after. 

My  mother  was  much  blessed,  and  enforced  upon  us 
with  great  fervency  the  necessity  of  regeneration,  and 
that  we  must  be  born  again  or  we  never  could  enter  into  the 
kingdom  of  God,  This  doctrine  seemed  so  mysterious  to 
me,  that  I  did  not  know  what  to  think  of  it ;  but  I  paid  great 
attention  to  all  tliat  I  heard  concerning;  it,  and  when  I 
observed  persons  conversing  upon  religious  subjects,  I 
would  draw  close  up  behind  them,  as  my  interest  and 
delight  in  hearing  had  become  much  increased — at  the 
same  time  afraid  lest  any  one  should  speak  to  me.  0, 
how  many  blessings  to  mankind  has  this  shameful  timidity 
sacrificed  ! 

I  soon  became  fully  confirmed  in  the  truth  of  the  doc- 
trines above  named,  and  felt  an  ardent  desire  that  I  might 
experience  them  to  my  own  salvation. 

Listening  one  day  to  a  conversation  of  three  of  my 
brothers,  the  second  of  whom  was  urging  upon  the  others 
a  preparation  for  death,  and  exhorting  them  to  seek  the 
Lord  with  all  their  heart,  I  felt  as  I  had  never  done  be- 
fore, and  wished  it  might  never  leave  me.  I  believe  this 
was  the  first  time  I  had  experienced  the  drawings  of 
God's  Holy  Spirit  upon  my  heart.  Many  times  I  thought 
of  it  afterwards,  with  an  anxious  desire  to  enjoy  it  again. 
I  hidulged  the  hope  that  I  should  at  no  very  distant  period, 
enjoy  the  blessing  of  God,  and  become  one  of  his  child- 


18 


LIFE    AND    EXl'EKIEXCE   OF 


ren.  I  was  afraid  to  do  anvtbing  disj)leasiii;j!;  to  Iiini ;  and 
those  who  were  wickeil  and  jirotanc  were  tlie  objects  of 
my  displeasure.  I  could  not  bear  to  licar  the  name  of 
God  taken  in  vain. 

One  day,  being  with  a  yoinig  companion,  slic  often  in  a 
careless  way  made  use  of  her  Maker's  name.  I  reproved 
her  several  times,  and  entreated  her  not  to  do  it  again. 
However,  she  gave  little  heed  to  what  I  said,  and  repeat- 
ed the  same  words.  Then  I  caught  her  and  cori-ected 
her  until  she  begged,  and  promised  not  to  do  so  any  more. 
She  maintained  her  promise,  never  repeating  tlie  same* 
in  my  hearing  afterwards.  It  Avas  seldom  my  ])arent3 
sent  me  to  meeting,  it  being  about  three  miles  distant. 
Therefore  I  spent  much  of  my  time  on  the  Lord's  day  in 
reading  Dr.  Watts's  Psalms  and  Hymns,  and  learning 
many  of  them  by  heart.  I  also  took  much  delight  in 
reading  in  the  Presbvtcrian  Primer ;  I  also  learned  a 
great  part  of  that  by  heart.  I  took  more  notice  of  the 
ten  commandments  than  any  other  part  of  it,  which  I 
thought  was  the  standard  by  which  we  sliall  be  tried. 
I  endeavoi'cd  to  make  them  the  rule  of  my  life.  I  read 
them  with  great  attention,  and  compared  my  conduct  with 
them  ;  but  my  conscience  did  not  excuse  me  from  doing 
any  thing  that  was  forbidden  in  them.  It  gave  me  no 
encouragement  to  think  that  I  was  prepared  for  death, 
because  I  had  not  felt  that  change  take  pdace  in  my  heart 
which  I  believed  Avas  necessarv,  and  for  the  want  of 
which  no  other  performances  co\dd  bo  of  any  avail  to 
recommend  me  to  God.  I  still  considered  myself  in  the 
broad  road  that  leads  to  destruction.  When  I  heard  sub- 
jects of  an  alarmhig  nature,  such  as  the  day  of  judgment, 


orl 

ai 


MRS.    MARY    RIIADLFA'. 


19 


ini  ;  and 
jc'cts  of 
name  of 

ten  in  a 

■cj)roved 

t   airain. 

rcpcat- 

Drrectod 

IV  more. 

10   j^aniG 

parents 

distant. 

s  day  in 

Icarninii; 

[light   ill 

ned  a 

of  the 

licli   I 

tried, 

I  read 

t  with 

doing 

me   no 

deatli, 

y  heart 

ant  of 

vail  to 

ni   tlic 

d  sub- 

^raent. 


ic 


or  the  brevity  of  human  life,  terror  would  seize  upon  mo, 
and  I  wo\dtl  feel  the  foundation  I  stood  upon  shaken. 

I  wanted  something;  that  1  could  not  com|»rehend.  I 
felt  distress,  fear,  and  terror  in  my  heart,  and  in  this  un- 
liapf)y  situation  I  woidd  retire,  and  attempt  to  call  upon 
God  ;  but  alas  I  it  added  to  my  troiible,  for  I  had  no  utter- 
ance when  I  attempted  to  pray.  I  thought  if  I  had  a 
suitable  place  of  resort  for  that  purpose,  I  should  find 
greater  liberty  in  prayer.  Accordingly  I  sought  a  place 
in  a  thicket  of  bushes,  some  distance  from  my  father's 
house,  where  I  retired  upon  the  Lord's  day,  for  medita- 
tion and  prayer. 

I  many  times  felt  very  solemn  while  thinking  upon  my 
situation.  But  still  my  mind  was  dark,  and  I  could  not 
obtain  a  spirit  of  prayer. 

I  met  with  several  accidents,  which  caused  death  to 
appear  very  near,  and  alarmed  me  very  much.  I  was 
one  day  in  the  chamber,  walking  across  the  floor,  when  a 
board  slipping  off  the  beam,  I  fell  suddenly  through,  with 
the  small  of  my  back  upon  a  stone  of  the  hearth,  which 
rendered  breathing  so  difficult,  that  I  thought  I  was  going 
to  die.  I  said  in  my  heart,  where  shall  I  go  ?  shall  I  go 
to  heaven,  or  shall  I  go  to  hell  ?  I  felt  something  like  an 
inward  whisper  that  I  should  go  to  heaven.  I  felt  peace> 
in  mind  ;  my  conscience  did  not  accuse  me,  and  I  believed 
I  should  go  to  heaven  ;  for  I  never  thought  of  death  with 
such  calmness  before.  But,  however,  when  I  recovered, 
I  was  much  alarmed,  and  found  the  thoughts  of  death  to 
be  as  terrifying  as  ever,  and  considered  this  as  a  solemn 
warning  to  be  prepared  for  its  approach. 

I  set  up  fresh  resolutions  to  be  more  earnestly  engaged 
for  the  salvation  of  my  soul ;  but  I  lacked  the  power  to 


20 


i.iFi']  A\i»  i;m'Khii;nck  hk 


perform,  so  as  to  obtain  tliat  glorious  prize.  At  another 
time,  one  of  my  little  brothers  h;id  stolen  away,  unknown 
to  my  parents,  iij)on  the  Sabbiith  day,  and  got  a  hook,  in- 
tending to  cateh  fish  ;  he  had  jirepared  the  hook  and  lino, 
left  them  in  tlie  water,  and  returned  again  to  the  house. 
Some  time  after,  going  that  way  and  seeing  the  line  in  the 
■water,  out  of  curiosity,  I  looked  to  see  if  the  fish  had 
tak  m.  My  conscience  accused  rac  as  soon  as  I  thought 
T\hat  I  had  done,  because  it  was  on  the  Sabbath  day  ; 
however,  I  did  not  o])ey  the  voice  of  conscience.  I 
thought  surely  such  a  little  thing  as  that  could  be  no 
harm,  and  after  arguing  the  point  in  order  to  stifle  con- 
science, I  got  upon  a  log  that  lay  close  to  the  channel,  to 
pull  up  the  hook  ;  but  I  fell  ofl'  into  the  water,  whiclu 
being  deep,  and  a  smart  current  in  the  spring  of  the 
year,  raised  by  the  freshet,  it  was  difficult  for  me  to  keep 
hold  of  the  log ;  however,  making  a  powerful  efitbrt  and 
sudden  spring,  I  recovered  myself.  Considering  the 
accident  I  had  met  with,  and  my  narrow  esca{)e  from 
being  drowned,  I  felt  it  to  be  just  upon  me  for  my  disobe- 
dience, and  took  it  both  as  a  reproof  and  warning,  and 
concluded  that  I  would  never  attempt  the  like  again.  I 
returned  home  with  shame  and  confusion  of  mind,  not  so 
much  as  mentioning  what  I  had  met  with  to  any  one, 
resolving  to  be  more  careful  in  future,  and  not  dare  ven- 
ture to  break  the  Sabbath  of  the  Lord.  I  then  felt 
resolved  to  set  out  in  earnest  to  seek  the  Lord  by  prayer. 
Some  time  after,  my  two  eldest  brothers  had  got  copies 
set  for  them,  and  were  learning  to  write  ;  I  went  to  the 
table,  and  out  of  curiosity  took  up  a  pen  and  attempted 
to  make  a  letter,  without  any  expectation  of  ever  being 
able  to  learn  to  write.     My  eldest  brother  noticing  me^ 


3 


-i 


1^ 


MRS.    MAUV    HUMH.KV. 


21 


another 
inknowu 
book,  in- 
lud  line, 
.'   liousc. 
no  in  the 
fish  had 
thouL^ht 
,th  day  ; 
3nce.     I 
d  be  no 
;ifle    con- 
annel,  to 
',   which  J 
,g  of  the 
3  to  keep 
brt  and 
ing    the 
\)c  from 
y  disobe- 
ling,  and 
gain.     I 
I,  not  so 
my  one, 
are  ven- 
;hen  felt 
prayer, 
ot  copies 
to  the 
tempted 
!r  being 
mg  mcy 


said  I  ha<l  made  a  very  good  letter,  for  the  first.  I  then 
took  encouragement  and  thouglit  I  would  learn,  and  im- 
mediate! v  asked  Inm  to  set  me  a  copv,  ^vhich  lie  did,  and 
I  made  such  proficiency  tiuit  he  jiraisiMl  mc.  1  llicn  asked 
niv  l)rothcrs  for  all  the  spare  pieces  of  paper  whicii  were 
of  no  use  to  them,  and  to  set  copies  for  me.  'i'hey  granted 
mv  re([uest,  and  such  was  my  activity  in  learning,  consid- 
ering my  few  advantages,  that  it  was  a  great  cause  for 
wonder,  both  to  myself  and  others,  and  such  was  my 
attachment  to  writing,  that  my  mind  was  altogether  taken 
up  witli  it.  Two  years  after,  I  had  the  benefit  of  a  school 
for  three  or  four  months,  which  was  a  great  hcl[>  to  me. 
The  school  was  kej)t  in  our  own  house,  and  1  had  so  much 
work  to  do,  that  I  had  to  gain  the  time  that  I  spent  in 
school. 

After  the  conclusion  of  the  American  war  of  1783,  a 
great  number  from  the  States  fled  to  this  place,  which  was 
a  movement  of  i)rovidence  that  greatly  took  hold  of  my 
mind.  Mv  heart  was  filled  ^^ith  iiitv  and  affection,  wiien 
I  saw  them  in  a  strange  land,  without  house  or  home,  and 
many  of  them  were  sick  and  helpless.  I  often  kxjked 
upon  them  when  they  passed  by  in  boats  in  rainy  A\eather, 
and  wished  for  them  to  call  and  refresh  themselves,  and 
was  glad  when  they  did  so.  A  family  moved  into  one  part 
of  Ui^j^ father's  house,  but  having  no  religion,  Avere  much 
given  to  vanity  and  lightness  of  mind.  One  evening, 
several  of  our  family  were  in  the  room  where  the  ncAv 
family  lived  ;  they  were  very  jolly,  and  indidged  to  a 
great  length  in  mirth  and  levity,  which  seemed  to  reign  in 
every  heart ;  but  I  did  not  join  them,  foi-  seeing  one  of  my 
bruthers  partake  in  the  mirth,  who  had  iirufessed  reli- 
gion, Whose  face  I  had  so  often  seen  bathed  in  tears,  it 
3 


O.) 


MRS.   AlAUV    JlUADLKY. 


bron^lit  such  a  ■\vci;^ht  upon  mv  mind,  that  T  roprovotl 
liim  in  the  midst  of  it,  and  asked  hiin  how  ho  dared  to 
do  so. 


roprovod 
dared  to 


ciiAPTEii  in. 


^ 


Ix  the  twelftli  year  of  my  n^c,  tlie  small  pox  spread  in 
the  couiitrv.  Mv  father  was  anxiDus  to  have  his  familv 
vaccinated,  to  prevent  them  taking  it  the  natural  way. 
This  strange  thinur  moved  my  mind  very  much.  I  was 
afraid  to  be  vaccinated  lest  I  should  die  ;  and  for  which  I 
was  not  i)repared.  I  said  nothing  to  my  father  upc  .i  the 
subject,  thinking  he  would  change  his  mind.  A  short 
time  after,  I  heard  my  mother  say  that  father  was  deter- 
mined upon  the  business,  at  which  my  heart  was  filled  with 
sorrow,  and  fear  of  death.  But  while  I  was  thinking  of 
those  things,  suddenly  I  felt  an  impression  upon  my  mind, 
as  if  I  heard  a  whisper,  to  comi)ly  with  my  father's  will, 
Avithout  any  objection,  for  I  should  not  die  cf  this  distem- 
per. I  immediately  felt  a  firm  belief  that  I  should  not 
die,  and  that  I  should  not  have  it  hard.  All  terror  and 
fear  was  taken  away,  and  I  felt  entirely  willing  to  be  vac- 
cinated —  which  was  done  in  a  few  davs  after  ;  and  I  was 
not  disappointed,  for  I  had  not  one  hour's  sickness.  But 
it  was  ([uitc  otherwise  Avith  the  rest  of  the  family.  My 
father  and  mother  lay  at  the  point  of  death  for  a  consider- 
able time.  My  second  brother  died,  and  left  a  comforta- 
ble hope  that  he  slept  in  Jesus,  being  in  the  twenty-fifth 
year  of  his  age. 

23 


24 


LIFE   AN1>    EXPERIENCE    OF 


I  felt  much  resigned  to  tlie  death  of  my  brother, 
thou<i]i  he  was  a  great  favorite.  I  felt  truly  thankful  that 
the  rest  of  our  family  were  spared  ;  hut  after  they  "svere 
restored  to  health,  I  had  a  greater  sense  of  the  loss  I  had 
sustained  in  the  death  of  my  brother ;  and  for  months 
after,  I  '\vej)t  and  mourned  for  him,  though  I  Avas  com- 
forted with  the  hope  that  he  was  happy — although  I  had 
not  taken  one  step  toward  happiness  myself.  I  thought 
no  one  could  be  converted  alone  —  it  must  be  in  a  time 
of  reformation  —  therefore  it  was  no  use  for  me  to  strive. 
Then  I  wished  for  a  revival  of  religion,  that  I  might  expe- 
rience the  blessing.  Two  families  came  to  be  near  neigh- 
bors to  us.  I  was  much  pleased  with  those  who  were  near 
my  own  age.  AVe  were  much  together,  and  our  union  so 
engrossed  my  thoughts  and  tune,  that  I  did  not  feel  so 
much  alarmed  about  my  future  state.  But  my  conscience 
was  tender,  and  would  not  allow  me  to  do  what  I  thought 
was  sinful ;  and  when  I  felt  it  check  me,  I  obe^'ed  it ;  and 
if  at  any  time  I  was  overtaken  with  lightness,  or  laughter, 
I  felt  condemned  and  unhappy  ;  so  that  I  would  determine 
not  to  be  guilty  of  the  like  again. 

I  could  not  join  my  young  companions  in  their  common 
merriments  with  any  satisfaction,  without  first  being  per- 
suaded that  there  was  no  sin  in  them.  But  by  giving 
way,  little  by  little,  to  vanity  and  folly,  conscience  was  in 
some  mejisure  lulled  to  sleep.  So  that,  being  greatly  per- 
suadBd  to  join  with  them  to  learn  to  dance,  and  not  feeling 
that  powerfvd  check  of  conscience  for  it,  as  I  had  done 
before  in  other  amusements,  I  concluded  there  was  no 
harm  in  it.  I  soon  began  to  take  pleasure  therein,  and 
instead  of  feeling  condennied  by  conscience,  when  I 
retired  to  rest,  I  felt  hurried  with  the  thoughts  of  the 
amusement  and  pleasure  of  learning  to  dance. 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


25 


brother, 
:ful  that 
ly  ■were 
ss  I  had 

months 
as  com- 
h  I  had 
thought 

a  time 
)  strive. 
;ht  expe- 
,r  neigh- 
ere  near 
anion  so 

feel  so 
nscience 

thought 

it ;  and 
lughter, 
ermine 

common 
ng  per- 
giving 
^Yas  in 
itly  per- 
t  feeling 
id  done 
was  no 
tm,  and 
when  I 
of  the 


As  my  mind  became  absorbed  in  those  vanities,  I  be- 
came less  concerned  about  a  future  state.  I  did  not  feel 
so  much  fear  of  death,  nor  so  much  fear  of  God.  There- 
fore I  began  to  promise  myself  some  pleasure  in  the  things 
of  the  world. 

I  was  in  the  fifteenth  year  of  my  age,  when  the  Lord, 
in  his  wise  providence,  saw  fit  to  remove  those  neighboring 
families,  Avho  had  become  the  idols  of  my  heart.  After 
their  removal,  I  seemed  in  a  good  degree  left  alone  —  there 
being  only  one  young  girl  of  my  intimate  ac([uaintance, 
beside  my  sisters.  My  mind  then  returned  to  serious 
meditation.  I  thought  of  death,  judgment,  and  eternity. 
I  called  to  mind  the  time  and  things  that  were  past.  I 
felt  afraid  that  I  should  die  without  an  interest  in  Clirist ; 
for  I  found  by  self-examination  that  the  older  I  grew,  the 
less  I  was  alarmed  about  my  future  state. 

I  said  in  my  heart,  0  that  I  knew  what  was  the  first 
step  towards  conversion,  how  readily  would  I  embrace  it ! 
I  had  heard  that  prayer  Avas  the  first  means  to  be  em- 
ployed, in  order  to  obtain  the  divine  favor.  But  that  was 
no  comfort  to  me,  for  as  soon  as  I  went  upon  my  knees, 
my  heart  was  so  hard,  and  so  shut  up,  that  I  could  not 
utter  one  word,  from  a  sense  of  my  need,  and  a  proper 
feeling. 

I  thought  if  I  had  a  feeling  sense  of  sin,  I  could  repent. 

But  my  conscience  did  not  accuse  me  of  any  known  sin  ; 

and  how  to  repent  of  that  for  which   I  felt   no  guilt,  nor 

was  conscious  of  as  an  evil,  I  knew  not.    But  the  thought 

that  I  was  a  sinner,  was  so  deeply  engraven  upon  my  mind, 

that  I  concluded  I  was  unawakened,  and  insensible  of  my 

situation.     As  I  had  never  felt  conviction,  nor  repentance 

for  sin,  I  considered  myself  entirely  destitute  of  what 

3* 


26 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


could  make  me  liappy  here  or  hereafter  ;  I  was  afraid  I 
should  be  left  in  a  hardened  state.  While  I  Avas  ponder- 
ing over  these  tliing.s,  a  person  came  into  my  father's 
house,  and  said,  there  was  a  report  that  another  war  had. 
broke  out,  and  it  was  probable  it  avduUI  spread  in  this 
country.  At  the  hearing  of  this  I  was  wonderfully 
alarmed,  and  imagined  I  saw  the  soldiers  killing  my 
father  and  mother,  sisters  and  brothers,  and  as  weltering 
in  tlieir  blood,  gasping  for  life.  I  was  filled  with  fear  and 
trembling,  while  I  thought  of  tlie  consequences  of  war. 
The  thought  entered  my  inind,  if  I  only  had  an  interest 
in  Christ,  I  need  not  fear  what  man  could  do  unto  me. 

While  I  felt  a  desire  to  do  that  which  would  be  pleas- 
ing to  God,  the  apostle's  words  were  applied  to  my  mind, 
"  They  that  are  in  the  flesh  cannot  please  God  ; "  and, 
Except  a  man  be  born  again,  he  cannot  see  the  kingdom  of 
God.  Then  I  saw  that  conversion  was  a  work  wrought  in 
the  heart,  by  the  Spirit  of  God.  I  felt  the  force  of 
divine  admonition,  "  Seek,  and  you  shall  find,  knock,  and 
it  shall  be  0{)ened  unto  you.  Behold,  now  is  the  accepted 
time  ;  behold,  now  is  the  day  of  salvation.  To-day,  if  you 
will  hear  his  voice,  harden  not  your  hearts." 

I  was  tlien  deeply  sensible  that  God  called  me,  and  '  I 
would  seek,  I  should  find  him  according  to  his  word,  and  I 
felt  a  desire  awake  in  my  soul  to  listen  to  his  voice.  Then 
Satan  was  stirred  up,  and  shot  his  fiery  darts  into  my 
mind,  that  if  I  became  a  Christian,  I  should  be  desjiised 
by  all  young  people  ;  and  those  who  were  Christians,  when 
they  heard  of  it,  avouUI  tell  one  another,  and  then  I  should 
be  exposed  to  all  the  world.  Then  I  felt  myself  covered 
with  shame,  and  a  nature  rising  in  me  in  opposition  to  my 
being  a  Christian. 


f 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


27 


afraid  I 
ponder- 
father's 
var  had. 
in  this 
iderfuUy 
Ihig   my 
veltering 
fear  and 
of  war. 
interest 
)  me. 
)e  pleas- 
ly  mind, 
[  ; "  and, 
iirdom  of 
rought  in 
force    of 
ock,and 
accepted 
,  if  you 

and      I 

d,  and  I 
Then 

into  my 
esj)ised 

IS,  wlien 
'.  shoidd 
covered 

II  to  my 


Then  Satan  brought  up  the  Avorhl  with  all  its  alhiring 
charms,  and  promising  dehghts,  as  it  were,  said  unto 
me,  "  Can  you  forsake  all  these  now,  in  the  bloom  of  youth, 
and  become  a  des})ised  Christian  ?  You  will  have  to  walk 
alone,  and  live  a  melancholy  life."  I  then  felt  every 
spring  of  corrupt  nature  rise  up,  and  sin  to  be  the  food  it 
craved,  in  opposition  to  religion.  I  felt  it  as  great  a  cross 
to  my  corrupt  nature,  to  be  a  Christian,  as  to  have  the 
flesh  torn  from  my  })oncs.  I  felt  myself  to  be  in  a  great 
strait.  I  {(lainly  saw  that  I  could  not  obtain  religion,  or 
heaven,  without  giving  up  all  the  })leasures  of  this  world  ; 
and  that  if  I  should  die  in  my  sins,  hell  would  be  my 
doom,  lint  if  I  obeyed  the  calls  of  God,  I  should  be 
happy.  Then  Satan  came  again  with  his  temptations, 
that  "  I  was  too  vounii;  to  become  relimous  ;  it  would 
be  time  enough  when  I  was  old."  Then  I  thought 
of  the  promise,  that  if  I  should  seek  him  early,  I  should 
find  him.  I  considered  those  Avords  were  from  God,  and 
if  I  put  off  seeking  him  until  I  was  old,  I  could  not  claim 
that  promise.  But  now  I  was  young,  and  had  faith  to 
believe  that  he  would  prepare  me  for  death,  if  I  would 
obey  his  call ;  and  I  felt  inclined  to  do  it. 

Then  Satan  came  again  to  tempt  me,  that  if  I  became 
a  Christian,  I  should  die  shortly  after  ;  or  if  I  lived  any 
length  of  time,  I  should  be  poor,  not  having  the  comforts 
of  life.  But  as  light  dispels  darkness,  so  truth  discovers 
and  banishes  error  from  the  mind.  The  ap]>lication  of 
that  precious  passage  came  to  my  relief:  "  First  seek  the 
kingdom  of  God  and  his  righteousness,  and  all  other  things 
shall  be  added  unto  you."  I  then  began  to  feel  spiritual 
strength  increase  in  my  soul,  and  saw  by  those  comforting 
promises  that  God  was  willing  to  save  me,  and  that  to  put 


■w 


28 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


off  seeking  liim  to  some  future,  indefinite  period,  Avould 
be  rcstin_2;  upon  uncertainties,  as  I  wns  not  sure  of  one 
day,  and  did  not  know  how  soon  God  would  call  me  away 
by  the  stroke  of  death.  Neither  was  I  sure  of  having 
the  privile;^L  of  a  sick  bed,  on  which  to  repent.  I 
thought,  being  fre([ucntly  exposed,  I  might  be  drowned? 
or  die  suddenly,  without  liaving  time  to  cry  to  God  for 
mercy.  Then  my  poor  soul  would  be  forever  in  misery. 
Alas,  I  could  not  endure  the  thought.  0  eternity  !  eter- 
nity !  a  never-ending  eternity !  how  can  I  dwell  in 
flames  of  fire  and  brimstone,  through  an  endless  eternity  ! 
How  is  it  that  I  am  not  willing  to  part  with  the  world  and. 
sin,  for  the  sake  of  escaping  that  destruction  which  I 
knew  would  overtake  me  at  the  hour  of  death.  I  thought 
again,  if  I  should  be  permitted  to  live  until  old  age  came 
on,  and  was  allowed  the  privilege  of  a  sick-bed,  I  should 
have  enough  to  contend  with  in  the  pain  and  anguish  of 
my  body,  without  having  then  to  prepare  for  death.  Then 
I  thought  how  happy  I  should  be  upon  a  dying-bed,  to 
have  all  fear  of  death  removed  from  mv  mind.  I  was 
sensible  that  God  had  given  me  a  solemn  call,  and  prom- 
ised me  in  his  Word  that  if  I  obeyed,  I  should  receive 
his  blessing.  But  if  I  disobeyed,  I  knew  not  that  I  should 
ever  have  another  call.  Conscience  testified  that  I  then 
had  my  choice. 

Life  and  death  were  set  before  me.  I  was  fully  con- 
vinced that  the  word  of  God  was  truth,  and  that  he  would 
do  according  to  it,  either  upon  my  obedience  or  disobe- 
dience. I  felt  that  I  had  power  given  me  to  choose  or  re- 
fuse,and  that  I  was  a  free  agent  to  act  for  eternity.  I  was 
then  enabled,  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord,  to  set  up  a 
firm  resolution  that  I  would  seek  the  Lord,  and  that  I 


MRS.    MAIIY    BRADLEY. 


20 


,  -would 
of  one 
le  away 
having 
3iit.      I 
fO\Yncdj 
jrod  for 
misery. 
!    eter- 
Avell   in 
:ernity  ! 
)rld  and 
»vhich  I 
thought 
;e  came 
[  should 
ruish  of 
Then 
3ed,  to 
I  was 
prom- 
receive 
should 
I  then 

y  con- 

e  would 

disobe- 

e  or  re- 

I  was 

up  a 

that  I 


would  not  put  off  any  longer  malcing  sure  of  my  great 
salvation,  for  I  believed  God  was  willing  to  give  it  me, 
and  I  felt  a  determination  that  nothing  should  fail  on  my 
part,  venturing  ujion  his  ])romises,  and  seeking  that  I 
m'vAit  find.  That  resolution  was  like  a  nail  fastened  in  a 
sure  y)lace  —  for  I  had  no  sooner  formed  it  but  I  felt  my 
strength  renewed,  and  a  firm  persuasion  that  I  should  ob- 
tain salvation.  I  felt  such  an  exercise  of  faith  in  tlic 
Lord  Jesus,  that  he  would  save  me.     I  evidentlv  felt  the 

7  V 

striving  of  two  spirits  ;  one  persuading  me  to  cleave  to 
the  world,  which  was  a<j;reeable  to  mv  natural  inclina- 
tions  —  the  other  inclining  me  to  seek  the  Lord,  which  is 
contrary  to  the  desires  of  the  flesh.  A  light  shone  uj)on 
my  mind,  which  clearly  discovered  to  me  the  cause  of  the 
different  inward  struggles  I  felt  in  my  heart. 

The  spirit  which  so  powerfully  strove  to  hinder  me  from 
seeking  the  Lord,  was  Satan.  And  that  sjiirit  which  per- 
suaded me  to  seek  the  Lord,  was  the  spirit  of  God.  I 
also  saw  that  if  I  let  mv  thoughts  run  upon  the  things  of 
the  world,  and  listen  to  the  su^rirestions  of  Satan,  that  the 
devil  had  power  over  my  heart  ;  and  my  inwanl  affections 
would  co-operate  with  him  to  cleave  to  earth  and  earthly 
things,  and  that  I  should  still  remain  in  the  state  of  dark- 
ness, sin,  and  s})iritual  death,  as  I  ever  had  done.  But 
if  I  restrained  mv  thouirhts,  and  called  them  in  from  ii;oin^ 
out  after  the  world,  and  jilaccd  them  upon  God,  and  lis- 
tened to  his  word,  that  he  has  power  over  my  heart,  to 
work  in  me  according  to  his  will,  that  which  is  good;  and 
that  Satan  would  have  no  power  over  me,  neither  to  tempt 
nor  allure  my  mind.  I  then  jdaced  God,  and  his  word, 
and  heaven,  on  the  one  hand,  and  Satan,  and  sin,  and  the 
world,  and  the  inclinations  of  my  own  heart,  and  death, 


30 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


and  licll,  on  tlic  other  hand.  And  then  I  felt  a  determi- 
nation that  I  never  wouhl  rest  until  ►>atan,  and  myself, 
and  the  -world  were  overcome,  and  God  had  possession 
of  my  heart.  It  was  cutting  to  flesh  and  hlood  to  part 
with  all  its  sensual  delights  ;  but  glory  be  to  God  for  all 
his  mercies!  he  is  never  at  a  loss  to  carry  on  his  own 
blessed  and  good  begun  work.  lie  gave  me  strength  to 
turn  the  current  of  my  mind  from  the  things  of  the  world 
to  himself,  lie  gave  me  a  heart  to  pray,  and  a  witness 
in  my  soul  that  he  would  answer  my  prayer.  I  felt  faith 
to  believe,  that  though  Satan  was  my  foe,  God  was  my 
unfailing  friend.  AVliilo  every  thought  was  brought  into 
subjection  to  the  Lord,  it  was  not  without  a  great  strug- 
gle. Satan  strove  to  keep  the  highest  ground,  and  claim 
liis  ancient  right  to  me,  and  would  bring  up  every  thing 
to  flatter  me,  in  order  to  retain  me  still  under  his  reign 
and  government.  Then  I  would  look  earnestly  unto  the 
Lord  to  strengthen  me,  and  he  was  pleased  to  draw  near 
and  fight  my  battles  for  me.  When  Satan  tempted  me, 
he  would  give  me  strength  to  resist,  and  answer  every 
objection  by  his  word.  Then  I  felt  the  power  of  Satan 
in  me  to  gvow  weaker,  and  the  word  of  God  to  be  more 
powerful. 

I  was  enabled  by  divine  assistance  to  weigh  as  in  a 
scale  the  things  of  time  and  eternity.  The  former  of 
which,  with  all  its  amusements  and  allurements,  appeared 
like  a  vapor,  or  lighter  than  vanity,  Avhen  compared  with 
eterviity.  Death  then  seemed  as  present  in  my  view  as 
life,  and  eternity  as  present  as  time.  Thus  I  saw  the  end 
of  all  things  to  be  at  hand.  I  had  no  sense  of  Christ  as 
a  mediator,  but  I  viewed  myself  in  his  presenc  as  a  pure 
Judge  ;  and  that  sin  could  not  stand  before  Lim,  but  the 


'!? 


MRS.    MARY   RRADLKY 


31 


dcterml- 
d  mvself, 
possession 
1  to  part 
(1  for  all 

his  own 

rength  to 

the  ■world 

1  witness 

felt  faith 

was  my 
ight  into 
at  strui;- 
md  claim 
srj  thing 
bis  reign 
unto  the 
aw  near 
^ted  me, 

r  every 
)f  Satan 
be  more 

as  in  a 
•rmer  of 
ppcared 
ed  Avith 
view  as 
the  end 
hrist  as 
5  a  pure 
but  the 


end  of  it  would  he  eternal  death.  I  l)elicvcd  I  should  he 
the  ol»j(!Ct  of  (Jod's  displeasure  if  I  continued  iu  sin  ;  but 
as  I  had  tied  to  him  for  refuse,  I  holieved  him  to  he  my 
friend.  Though  I  was  not  satisfied  that  I  had  felt  a 
broken  and  contrite  heart  for  sin,  or  that  I  had  a  proper 
sense  of  the  evil  of  sin,  or  the  deep  depravity  of  my  evil 
nature  ;  being  only  sensible  of  the  evil  of  my  foolish 
thoughts,  but  not  so  sensible  of  the  fountain  from  which 
they  sj)rang.  The  Lord  was  pleased  to  show  me  what  I 
must  pass  through  before  I  should  be  fit  for  heaven ;  how 
I  must  have  a  deeper  sense  of  my  guilt  as  a  sinner,  and 
my  danger,  and  feel  true  repentance,  and  call  mightily 
upon  God  for  pardoning  mercy,  and  that  the  time  of  my 
extremity  would  be  the  time  of  his  opportunity,  wherein 
he  would  deliver  me  from  mv  distresses. 

I  thougiit,  in  order  to  feel  true  conviction  for  sin,  I 
must  bring  my  mind  to  the  purity  of  God's  holy  law,  and 
account  myself  the  guilty  criminal,  against  whom  the  pen- 
alty was  levelled  ;  which  I  was  enabled  to  do,  and  also  to 
continue  in  silent  prayer  before  God.  In  wliatever  my 
hands  were  em[)loyed,  my  heart  was  raised  to  him.  I  did 
not  have  any  set  time  for  prayer,  but  I  saw  that  in  order 
to  obtain  this  great,  required  prize,  I  must  be  earnestly 
engaged  every  moment,  constantly  resist  the  Wicked  One, 
imploring  divine  assistance,  to  improve  every  opportunity 
hi  reading  such  portions  of  ;Scripture  as  were  suitable  to 
instruct  and  encourage  me.  I  was  resolved  to  keep  a 
strict  watch  over  my  words  and  actions.  In  the  first 
place,  not  to  ask  any  needless  questions,  nor  give  any 
needless  answers,  but  to  let  mv  conversation  he  vca,  vea, 
and  nay,  nay ;  for  I  saw  whatsoever  was  more  than  that 
would  be  evil  to  me. 


32 


.MRS.    MAllV    lillADLKY. 


I  felt  a  liard  heart ;  in  order  fo  the  removal  of  whicli  I 
j)rayed  to  (lod  to  have  a  true  sight  of  my  sins,  and  to  give 
me  a  deep  sense  of  their  oilious  nature,  however  discour- 
aging. The  Lord  applied  to  my  mind  the  words,  "  I  will 
take  away  the  heart  of  stone,  and  -will  give  you  a  heart 
of  flesh,"  at  which  I  was  much  encouraged  to  press  for- 
ward. 

I  then  began  to  see  the  cause  of  my  hard  heart ;  that  it 
was  those  inbred  sins  which  had  been  ever  hid  from  my 
eyes ;  and  in  this  situation,  "  I  smote  upon  my  breast, 
and  cried,  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner."  Thus  I  was 
truly  awakened,  and  had  a  deep  sense  of  my  lost  and 
undone  situation  by  nature.  The  scales  of  ignorance  fell 
from  my  eyes ;  I  was  truly  humbled  under  the  mighty 
hand  of  God,  I  discovered  the  fountain  of  original  sin, 
the  streams  of  Avhich  had  accompanied  me  into  the  world, 
and  from  whence  all  evil  thoughts  and  actions  proceed. 

Nothing  tiiat  ever  my  eyes  beheld  ever  appeared  so 
loathsome  and  vile  as  my  own  heart,  by  reason  of  sin,  I 
also  had  an  awful  view  of  the  pit  of  destruction,  and  my- 
self as  hanging  over  it,  and  nothing  but  the  brittle  thread 
of  life  kept  me  from  falling  into  it,  I  saw  that  if  I  died 
without  being  cleansed  from  my  sins,  I  should  be  for  ev^er 
banished  there.  I  also  saw  the  justice  of  God  in  pro- 
nouncing the  sentence,  if  I  should  die  without  salvation. 
In  this  situation,  I  was  greatly  comforted  with  a  hope  of 
deliverance,  and  by  the  words,  "  They  that  seek  me  early 
shall  find  me,"  and  also  by  a  believing  view  of  the  Savior 
as  having  that  righteousness  of  which  I  stood  in  need, 
and  which  I  had  a  longing  desire  to  obtain,  and  "  Abra- 
ham believed  God,  and  it  was  accounted  to  him  for  right- 


eousness. 


5> 


i 


'  which  I 
lI  to  give 

discoiir- 
,  "  I  will 

a  heart 
»ress  for- 

t ;  that  it 

from  my 

f  breast, 

us  I  was 

lost  and 

ance  fell 

mighty 

;inal  sin, 

le  world, 

3ceed. 

)ared  so 

'  sin.     I 

and  my- 

e  thread 

I  died 

lor  ever 

in  pro- 

ilvation. 

hope  of 

ne  early 

)  Savior 

n  need, 

"  Abra- 

r  right- 


ClIATTER    IV 


As  I  was  standing   one    evening  at   the   door,  musing 

upon  my  situation,  it  occurred   to   me,    Wiiat   is   there  in 

this  world  that  can  satisfy  my  longing  desires  ?     I  looked 

up  to  tlie  stars,  ^nd  thouglit,  if  I  might  have  as  much  silver 

and  o-old  a^~  would  reach  to  them  from  the  earth,  it  would 

be  nothi'ig  to  mo,  in   comparison  to  the   righteousness  of 

Jesus  Christ.     0 !  1  thought  if  he  would  oidy  give   it  to 

me,  it  was  all  I  wanted ;  if  he  took  me  out  of  the  world 

jnimediately  after  applying  it  to  me,  I  should   be  happy 

and  willing  to  go.    'Ihen  these  words  came  to  me,  "  Blessed 

are  they  that  hunger  and  thirst  after  righteousness,  for 

tliey  shall  be  filled."     This  was  like  a  staff  to  lean  upon ; 

my  strength  was  renewed,  and  my  resolutions  confirmed 

to  continue  striving.     My  heart  was   wounded  within  me 

to  think  how  long  I  had  lived  without  the   knowledge   of 

Jesus  Christ  —  without  being  sensible   that  while  I  shut 

him  out  of  my  heart  I  grieved  his  holy  spirit. 

I  saw  that  I  had  never  done  any  thing  in  all  my  life 
from  a  principle  of  love  to  God ;  and  for  want  of  that, 
all  that  ever  I  had  done  appeared  hateful  unto  me.  Those 
performances  which  I  before  thought  amiable,  now  ap- 
peared odious,  because  I  had  taken  pride  in  them.  Thus 
I  saw  that  it  was  from  a  principle  of  selfishness  I  had 
4  38 


84 


LIFK   AND    EXPERIENCE   oF 


l)ccn  actuatcMl.     T  monrncd  and  wept  bitterly  boforo   the 
Lord  at  the  retneinbrancc  of  tliosc   t]ini;^s,  and  wliilo   my 
lieart  was  broken  fur  sin,  and  while  I  wa^^  mourning;  for  a 
crucified  Havi<tr,  T  would  feel  rays  of  li>:;ht  and  consolation 
break  into  my  soul.      'Pears  of  joy   and  ;;rief  constantly 
flowed.     I  was  then  so  far  enlightened  that  I  had  a  taste 
of  the  joys  of  salvation,  and  if  to  be   made  exceedin<^ly 
happy,  and  to  rejoice  in  liope  of  eternal  glory,  and  feel 
the  love  of  God,  and  his  word,  to  be  sweeter  than   honey 
to  my  soul  ;  and  to  be  filled  with  f^ratitude  to  God  for  his 
marvellous  loving  kindness,  and  to  fec^l  as  I  never  before 
had  felt,   my  mind   continually  soaring  above,  and  my 
heart  entirely  disentangled   from   every   earthly  object, 
were    evidences    of  a   change   of  heart,   then    I    most 
undoubtedly  was  brought  out  of  darkness  into  liis.  marvel- 
lous light ;  and  had  met  with  that  change  wliich  leJ  me 
to  conclude  I  had  never  known  what  happiness  was  before. 
But  I  soon  found  that  when  I  would  let  my  mind  turn 
upon  the  world,  that  Satan  was  as  ready  as  ever  to  entan- 
gle it,  and  my  besetmcnts  had   power  to   entice   me  ;  but 
when  my  mind  turned  to  the  Lora,  I  was  so  happy,  that 
the  love  of  this  world   and   all   the   alluring   charms  of  it 
■were  banished  from  me.      Then  I  determined  I  would 
never  think  upon  the  world,  nor  allow  my  mind  to  run 
improperly  upon  any  worldly  object ;  for  I   thought  if  I 
did,  I  might  lose  my  heaven,  and  the  happiness  which  I 
then  enjoyed  —  to  prevent  which,  I  continued  earnestly 
pleading  with  the  Lord  to  give  me  strength  to  resist  the 
devil,  and  also  to  keep  my  mind  on  things  above.     I  also 
desired  that  the  Lord  would  not  let  me  rest  in  any  thing 
short  of  true  religion.     I  begged  of  him  to  give  me   the 
faith  of  assurance  ;    I  wanted  that  religion  that  would 


i 


MIIS.    MAKY    nUADLKY, 


35 


)cf(>ro   the 
wliile   mv 
\\\\\^  for  a 
'oiisolution 
constantly 
lad  a  taste 
cccedin^i^ly 
,  and  feel 
lan  honey 
rod  for  his 
/er  before 
,  and  my 
ly   object, 
I    I    most 
»!!!•  marvel- 
:h  lo'J  me 
^•as  before, 
mind  turn 
r  to  entan- 
me ;  but 
appy,  that 
arms  of  it 
I  wouhl 
d  to  run 
ought  if  I 
s  which  I 
earnestly 
resist  the 
e.     I  also 
any  thin^ 
e  me   the 
lat  would 


[1 


stand  by  me  in  time  and  in  eternity.  I  wanted  l  live  in 
the  enjoyment  of  it  all  my  days,  and  not  to  turn  back  to 
the  be;^f^arly  elements  of  this  world,  and  thus  make  ship- 
wreck of  my  faith,  as  I  had  heard  of  others  doing,  who 
had  brouglit  a  reproach  upr)n  the  cause  of  God.  Thus  I 
continued  wrestling  and  striving  until  my  flesh  felt  so 
weak  that  I  was  a  burden  to  myself.  Then  I  retired 
alone,  and  gave  vent  to  my  sighs  and  tears,  and  said  in 
my  heart.  Must  I  feel  this  struggle  all  my  days?  Then 
it  j»leased  (Jod  to  apply  these  words  to  my  mind,  "  Cast 
thy  burden  upon  the  Lord,  and  he  will  sustain  thee."  It 
is  beyond  the  ])Ower  of  tongue  or  pen  to  describe  the 
change  1  then  felt.  If  I  had  been  all  my  days  shut  up 
in  a  dungeon,  and  just  then  brought  out  into  the  blaze  of 
day,  it  wouhl  be  but  a  faint  resemblance  of  what  I  then 
felt  and  saw. 

I  exjierienced  this  blessed  change  the  first  of  January, 
1787,  about  four  o'elof'k  in  the  afternoon,  in  the  sixteenth 
year  of  mv  ai2;e. 

All  my  sins,  a  guilty  conscience,  my  temptations,  and 
besetments,  my  weaknesses,  and  fears,  and  every  thing 
that  could  annoy  my  peace  and  hai)i)iness,  like  a  dark 
and  heavy  cloud,  then  passed  away  ;  and  the  sun  of  right- 
eousness rose  upon  my  soul,  with  healing  in  his  wings. 

The  view  I  then  had  of  the  ui)per  world,  w^as  inex- 
pressible. I  felt  a  witness  in  my  soul  that  there  was  joy 
among  the  angels  in  heaven  at  my  return.  The  Bible 
seemed  entirely  knew  to  me.  I  had  never  had  a  clear 
understanding  of  what  I  read,  because  of  the  veil  that 
was  on  my  heart ;  but  then  I  continually  felt  the  sweet 
application  of  it  to  my  soul,  and  I  constantly  felt  a  flame 
of  love  to  my  dear  Redeemer.     I  knew  that  he  had  borne 


t 


86 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


all  my  sins  upon  tho  croi^s  ;  aivl  I  hcliovcd  that  I  should 
sjii'nd  a  nevor-LMwIiii^;  I'tcrnity  at  lii.s  riiilit  hand.  I  conhl 
then  call  (loil  inv  Father,  and  know  that  he,  lor  Christ's 
sake,  had  }>,nrdoncMl  all  my  sins.  I  entered  into  a  solemn 
covenant  with  him,  to  he  his,  and  had  a  witness  in  my 
Koul  that  he  was  mine.  I  enioved  that  sweet  \niion  with 
Iiim,  and  with  the  Holy  Spirit,  that  the  world  knew  not  of. 
I  truly  enjoyed  peace  of  conseienco,  and  could  think  of 
death  with  ]>lea3ure.  I  longed  for  that  ha)>py  time  to 
come  when  1  should  leave  tins  world  and  go  to  my  blessed 
Savior. 

0,  what  happiness  I  then  enjoyed  !  I  thought,  surely 
my  lines  had  fallen  unto  me  in  |)leasant  ])]aces,  and  I  had 
a  goodly  heritage  ;  for  my  Jesus  had  delivered  mc  from 
all  my  fears,  and  taken  away  the  sting  of  death,  and 
Satan  had  lost  his  prey.  I  felt  I  was  delivered  from  the 
torments  of  hell,  and  from  the  power  of  Satan,  who 
thought  to  have  me  for  fuel  for  eternal  hnrniiig  ;  hut  my 
Jesus  fiad  plucked  me  as  a  lirand  from  thence.  lie  had 
taken  my  feet  out  of  the  miry  clay,  and  set  them  upon  a 
rock,  and  put  a  new  song  into  my  mouth,  even  praises  to 
our  God. 

I  could  then  look  back  upon  my  past  life  with  grief  and 
astonishment,  to  think  how  long  I  had  continued  under  a 
cloud  of  darkness  and  ignorance.  I  was  then  sensible 
that  God  had  been  graciously  striving  with  mc  by  his 
spirit  from  an  early  period  of  life  ;  and  if  I  had  listened 
to  his  call  and  obeyed  his  voice,  I  might  have  long  before 
enjoyed  his  blessing.  But  alas  !  when  I  would  feel  any 
desire  to  seek  the  Lord,  Satan  would  bring  up  immediately 
some  trifling  object  to  take  up  my  attention  ;  and  then 
the  Spirit  of  God  would  leave  off  striving  with  mc.  0, 
how  did  I  lament  the  hardness  of  my  heart,  and  my  base 


MRS.   MARY    DRADLEY. 


8T 


I  should 
I  could 

•  Chrirtt's 
a  solemn 
ss   in  my 

4.' 

iiioii  ^vitll 
cw  not  of. 
tiiink  of 
/■  time  to 
ly  blessed 

it,  surely 
md   I  liad 

mc  from 
:ath,  and 

from  the 
itan,  who 
;  but  my 

lie  had 

II  upon  a, 
praises  to 

grief  and 
under  a 
i  sensible 
c  by  his 
listened 
w'^  before 
feel  any 
nediately 
md  then 
|mc.  0, 
my  base 


1 


injrratitudo  to  mv  dear  llodeemcr,  thus  to  shut  him  out 
of  ray  heart  until  his  head  was  filled  with  the  dew,  and 
his  locks  with  the  rain  of  the  iii^ht,  and  at  the  same  time 
gratified  Satan  by  yielding  obedience  to  him. 

How  cuttin;;  it  was  to  me,  when  I  had  a  discovery  of 
the  purity  and  holiness  of  (Jod,  and  also  the  love  he  had 
for  me,  when  at  the  same  time  I  was  in  love  with  those 
thin;^s  which  were  so  hateful  to  him.  But  glory  be  to 
Ood  I  tor  as  far  as  the  east  is  from  the  west,  so  far  hath 
lie  removed  my  transgressions  from  mc.  I  then  saw  my 
sad  mistake  about  taking  pleasure  in  the  things  of  time 
and  sense. 

1  saw  that  there  was  no  solid  pleasure  nor  happiness  to 
be  taken  in  anything  short  of  the  enjoyment  of  (iod's  love  ; 
for  as  God  breathed  into  man  the  breath  of  life,  so  noth- 
ing but  the  breathings  of  divine  love  could  make  him 
completely  happy. 

I  saw  that  salvation  was  free  for  all  who  would  seek  for 
it.  I  felt  so  weaned  from  the  vanities  of  the  world,  ihat 
I  could  view  them  with  perfect  indifference.  When  I 
saw  my  young  companions  following  the  customs  of  the 
world,  and  taking  their  fill  in  sinful  pleasures,  instead  of 
being  enticed  to  go  with  them,  and  do  as  they  did,  my 
heart  would  ache  for  them,  knowing  that  if  they  contin- 
ued in  a  sinful  state  until  death,  they  would  fall  a  prey  to 
those  devouring  flames,  from  which  I  had  but  just  made  my 
escape.  1  longed  for  their  return.  I  felt  truly  thankful 
that  the  Lord  had  reclaimed  me.  I  often  thought  of 
these  lines,  and  felt  them  to  be  the  language  of  my  soul: 

"  I  send  the  joys  of  earth  away, 

Away,  ye  tempters  of  the  mind, 
False  us  the  srnootJi,  deceitful  soa, 

And  einptv  as  the  whistling  ^vind. 

4' 


38 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE    OF 


"  Your  streams  were  floating  me  along, 
I)i)\vn  to  the  gulf  of  black  desj)alr, 

And  while  I  K^teiieil  to  your  song, 

Your  streams  had  even  conveved  me  there.' 


These  enjoyments  were  not  a  flight  of  passion,  nor  a 
mere  fancy  of  the  brain  ;  neither  were  they  like  a  blast  or 
flash,  and  then  gone.  No,  there  was  a  constant  and  durable 
happiness. 

My  blessed  Savior  was  continually  in  my  mind.  When 
I  lay  down  to  rest  at  ni<j;ht,  he  was  last  in  my  thouglits, 
and  when  I  awoke  in  the  morning,  he  was  first ;  and  when 
I  was  about  my  work  by  day,  my  mind  was  stayed  upon 
him  ;  and  the  love  of  God,  like  a  constant  stream,  was  run- 
ning continually  through  my  soul. 

I  truly  enjoyed  the  love  which  casteth  out  all  fear,  and 
that  peace  which  passeth  all  understanding.  I  felt  by 
happy  experience  that  my  nature  was  changed  ;  and  that 
God  had  taken  away  the  hardness  of  my  heart,  and  had 
implanted  in  me  a  disposition  which  deliglited  to  do  his 
will.  I  did  not  feel  it  a  cross  to  be  religious,  as  before, 
neither  did  I  find  him  to  be  a  hard  master.  But  I  felt 
his  yoke  to  be  easy,  and  his  burden  light.  I  did  not  feel 
any  inclination  arise  in  my  heart  to  go  contrary  to  his 
will ;  and  when  I  was  asleep,  if  I  dreamed  anything,  it 
would  be  of  a  religious  nature.  Three  times  durino^  the 
following  winter,  I  dreamed  of  the  day  of  judgment. 

One  night,  particularly,  I  dreamed  I  saw  the  Judge 
standing  in  a  certain  place,  with  a  destroying  Aveapon  in 
his  hand,  and  that  he  drew  all  the  world  unto  him  one  by 
one,  and  when  they  were  slain,  each  one  w^as  sent  to  the 
place  for  which  he  was  pre})ared  —  either  to  heaven  or 
hell.     I  felt  a  great  concern  for  ray  brothers  and  sisters, 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


39 


on,  nor  a 
a  blast  or 
cl  durable 

d.    When 

thoiiglits, 
and  when 
ycd  upon 
I,  was  run- 
fear,  and 
I  felt  by 
and  that 
and  had 

0  do  his 
IS  before, 

ut  I  felt 

1  not  feel 
•y  to  his 
ything,  it 
uring  the 
lent. 

le  Judge 
eapon  in 
n  one  by 
it  to  the 
eaven  or 
.1  sisters. 


(excepting  my  second  sister;  T  thought  she  was  in  heaven 
already,)  lest  they  should  be  unprepared. 

I  thought  I  would  go  and  stand  by  him,  and  that  I 
should  see  if  anv  of  my  kindred  were  condemned.  As 
soon  as  this  thought  passed  through  my  mind,  I  saw  my 
third  brother  trying  to  pass  by  without  coining  up  to  the 
Judge,  as  though  he  would  have  shunned  him,  endeavor- 
ing to  get  into  heaven  another  way.  As  soon  as  I  saw 
him,  I  was  troubled  at  his  i)resence,  for  I  thought  of  the 
passage,  lie  that  comcth  in  any  other  way,  the  same  is  a 
thief  and  a  robber.  J3ut  I  thought  he  was  not  permitted 
to  ])ass  by,  but  was  drawn  by  an  invisible  hand,  as  a  bul- 
lock to  the  slaughter,  contrary  to  his  will.  His  very 
countenance,  and  the  manner  of  his  coming,  bespoke  the 
guilt  of  his  conscience,  and  his  dread  of  meeting  his 
awful  doom. 


CHAPTER    V. 


Tins  was  very  awfully  affecting,  and  threw  me  into 
such  a  paroxysm  of  distress,  as  I  never  felt  before.  I 
was  under  such  fearful  apprehension  for  his  t  "smal  fate, 
being  as  in  an  agony  of  soul  for  him.  I  felt  as  if  I  could 
not  contain  myself,  and  yet  was  not  able  to  speak  one 
word.  I  saw  that  it  was  too  late  to  plead  for  him,  and 
that  his  state  was  unalterable.  I  thought  the  nearer  he 
approached  to  his  Judge,  the  more  he  showed  his 
guilt. 

I  perceived  that  he  held  a  roll  in  his  hand,  which  was 
beautiful  to  look  upon,  a  mixture  of  red  and  white,  which 
he  held  out  to  his  Judge,  as  he  came  up  to  him — in 
order,  as  I  thought,  to  show  his  life  as  a  recommendation. 
He  looked  upon  it,  and  made  no  answer,  but  immediately 
pronounced  judgment  upon  him,  that  he  was  guilty,  and 
therefore  must  depart.  I  saw  the  bottomless  pit  open, 
and  the  llames  of  hell  coming  out  of  the  mouth  of  it,  and 
knowing  that  my  poor  brother  must  take  up  his  abode 
there  to  all  eternity,  I  awoke  from  sleep  in  great  distress. 
Fearing  that  some  of  my  relations,  or  friends,  would  meet 
with  that  awful  doom,  which  I  had  just  realized  in  ray 
dream,  and  which  all  Avho  died  in  an  unconverted  state 

40 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY. 


41 


me  into 
efore.  I 
mal  fate, 
if  I  could 
peak  one 

him,  and 
learer  he 
)wed    his 

k^hich  was 
te,  which 
him  —  in 
icndation. 
nediately 
lilty,  and 
pit  open, 
jf  it,  and 
lis  abode 
distress. 
>uld  meet 
d  in  my 
ted  state 


must  meet  —  as  I  e vide. itly  saw  that  whatever  our  hopes 
of  lieavi'u  were  while  in  time,  if  they  were  not  built  upon  a 
iiood  foundation,  and  our  hearts  cleansed  from  sin,  that  we 
should  find  a  guilty  conscience,  when  brought  to  the  bar  of 
God —  I  was  much  concerned  about  my  brother,  who  was 
then  gone  to  the  Uuited  States,  and  particularly  as  I  did 
not  know  what  might  have  happened  to  him,  and  whether 
I  should  ever  see  him  a^ain.  But  I  never  told  the  dream 
to  any  one  until  about  seven  months  after,  when  my 
brother  had  returned,  and  I  told  it  to  liim,  and  what  the 
Lord  had  done  for  my  soul,  and  exhorted  him  to  seek,  as 
I  had  done,  and  assured  him  that  he  Avould  find  the  same 
,  blessing. 
-^  It  being  a  dull  time  of  religion,  I  kept  my  mind  very 

much  to  myself,  excepting  some  of  my  young  companions, 
to  whom  T  spoke  of  the  danger  of  living  in  sin,  and  the 
vanities  of  the  world,  and  the  haj)pincss  they  would  find  in 
the  ways  of  religion.  IJut  it  seemed  to  profit  them  little, 
as  I  did  not  see  fruits  of  repentance  in  any  of  them. 
However,  if  diev  were  determined  to  turn  a  deaf  ear  to 
my  admonitions,  and  pursue  the  vain  pleasures  of  time 
and  sense,  and  not  go  with  me,  I  was  determined  not  to  go 
with  them,  but  rather  go  alone  ;  and  indeed  I  was  alone, 
as  to  any  earthly  companion,  for  I  had  no  freedom  to 
speak  to  Christians,  and  those  who  were  not,  did  not  seem 
to  understand  my  language,  nor  incline  their  hearts  to  par- 
take of  the  blessinii;s  which  I  enjoved. 

I  felt  a  great  desire  awake  in  my  soul,  to  be  obedient 

to  all  the  commands  of  God,  and  in  order   to  understand 

Avhat  his  will   was,  I   daily   searched  the   Scriptures.     I 

found  great  need  of  strict  watchfulness  over  myself,  both 

<•      in  word,  thought,  and  deed.     I  found  it  a  command  to  let 


42 


MRS.   MAIIY    liRADLEY. 


my  communication  be  yea,  yea,  and  nay,  nay,  for  whatso- 
ever is  more  than  these  coraeth  of  evil. 

I  also  found  it  written  that  I  must  not  live  after  the 
flesh ;  for  if  I  lived  after  the  flesh,  I  should  die;  but  if  I 
through  the  spirit  mortified  the  deeds  of  the  body,  I  should 
live.  I  found  that  the  apostle  enjoined,  not  to  be  carnally 
minded,  for  to  bo  carnally  minded  is  death ;  but  to  be 
spiritually  minded  is  life  and  peace.  I  endeavored  to 
keep  my  mind  fixed  upon  God  and  his  Word.  I  delighted 
greatly  in  thinking  of  my  exit  out  of  time  into  eternity. 
The  thoughts  of  death  were  delightful.  I  felt  my  treasure 
was  laid  up  in  heaven,  and  I  often  longed  for  that  happy 
day  to  come,  when  my  soul  should  quit  this  mortal  stage 
and  fly  to  realms  above. 


:■•■  f 


3 


r  whatso- 


ifter  the 
but  if  I 
I  should 
carnally 
ut  to  be 
.'ored  to 
[elighted 
eternity, 
treasure 
t  happy 
al  stage 


il- 


CHAPTER    VI. 


Tii"  summer  following,  as  I  was  at  work  one  day  in  my 
father's  garden,  pulling  up  the  weeds,  which  were  so  thick 
and  thrifty  that  they  had  overgrown  the  good  seed,  so 
that  I  could  not  see  that  which  sprang  from  it,  until  I  had 
looked  carefully,  and  separated  them  by  pulling  up  the 
weeds  ;  which,  when  I  had  done,  that  which  sprung  from 
the  good  seed  seemed  to  droop  and  wither  with  the  heat 
of  the  sun:  it  then  came  into  my  mind  that  this  was  a  just 
resemblance  of  my  own  heart,  wherein  God  had  sown  the 
good  seed  of  grace  ;  yot  the  evil  and  corrupt  thoughts, 
naturally  springing  up,  if  not  rooted  out  and  kept  down, 
would  soon  extin^^uish  the  cjood  seed,  or  render  it  fruitless. 
But,  if  by  the  assistance  of  God's  Holy  Spirit,  I  kept  a 
continual  watch  over  my  thoughts,  and  the  natural  incli- 
nations of  my  heart,  and  kept  myself  under  subjection  to 
divine  culture,  that  he  would  increase  my  graces,  and  I 
should  bring  forth  fruit  to  his  glory. 

This  similitude,  though  weak,  was  to  me  a  great  caution. 
Some  time  after  this,  I  was  much  tempted  about  prayer. 
I  felt  rather  dull,  and  somewhat  embarrassed,  and  a  back- 
wardness in  perfoming  that  duty.  The  tempter  came  to 
me  in  this  kind  of  language  :  You  are  a  Christian,  the 
fear  of  death  is  taken  away,  you  are  sure  of  going  to 


44 


MFK    AND    EXI'ERIENCH   OF 


heaven,  when  you  die.  God  has  changed  your  heart,  and 
you  arc  happy  in  him,  and  now  your  work  is  done.  What 
need  liavc  you  to  pray  any  more  ?  Surely,  if  you  say 
over  the  liord's  prayer,  and  that  wliich  comes  easy  to  you, 
niglit  and  morning,  that  will  be  sufficient.  Then,  I  felt 
an  inclination  to  take  up  with  that  easy  way  of  living,  and 
accordingly,  I  attemjjted  to  say  over  the  Lord's  prayer, 
instead  of  wrestling  with  God,  as  I  had  done.  But  I  felt 
such  a  coldness,  and  darkness,  come  over  my  mind,  at  the 
time,  that  I  thought.  Surely  this  will  not  do.  I  felt  afraid 
that  an  enemy  was  striving  to  entangle  me,  and  as  my 
usual  custom  Avas,  I  immediately  lied  to  the  Bible,  and 
searched  until  I  found  that  I  was  commanded  to  pray 
without  ceasing.  Then  I  clearly  saw  the  temptation  of 
Satan,  to  turn  me  out  of  the  way.  I  felt  thankful  that  I 
saw  the  temptation,  and  felt  a  disposition  to  strive  against 
it. 

I  was  again  tempted  by  the  playing  of  a  violin.  A 
man  who  came,  and  lived  in  a  house  belonging  to  my 
father,  was  often  playing,  and  when  I  went  out  of  the 
door,  I  could  hear  it ;  and  being  a  new  thing,  Satan  took 
the  advantage  to  allure  me  with  the  music. 

I  was  urged  several  times  to  go  to  the  house.  But  I 
refused.  I  Avent  to  the  door  one  evening,  and  hearing  it, 
I  thought  it  sounded  melodiously.  I  went  into  the  garden 
to  see  the  flowers,  saying  to  myself,  surely  that  will  be  no 
harm.  In  the  mean  time,  I  was  nearer  to  the  man,  and 
my  ears  were  attentive  to  the  music,  and  I  felt  a  secret 
pleasure  in  hearing  it.  But  when  I  came  to  reflect  upon 
it,  my  conscience  accused  me,  fur  indulging  in  the  passion 
of  nature,  and  endeavoring  to  excuse  myself  for  the  com- 
pliance.    But  it  occurred  to  my  mind  that  it  was  written, 


M\\^.    MAKV     HRAKI.RY, 


4i 


eart,  and 
^  What 
you  say 
y  to  you, 
!n,  I  felt 
ving,  and 
i  prayer, 
5ut  I'felt 
id,  at  the 
elt  afraid 
1  as  my 
»ible,  and 
to  pray 
tation  of 
ful  that  I 
G  against 

iolin.  A 
to  my 
it  of  the 
an  took 

But  I 

taring  it, 
garden 
ill  be  no 
nan,  and 
a  secret 
ect  upon 
passion 
he  com- 
■ffritten, 


i--^. 


?5 


whatsoever  I  would  ask  of  God,  I  should  receive.  T 
therefore  hastened  to  retirement,  and  falling  down  with 
my  face  to  the  ground,  and  imploring  divine  assistance,  1 
ohtaiiied  an  entire  deliverance  from  the  tem])tation,  and 
an  additional  proof  of  the  truth  of  divine  revelation.  At 
anotlier  time,  I  was  very  much  tried  by  not  feeling  that 
sensible  enjoyment  of  God's  love,  as  I  had  done,  when  I 
first  experienced  a  change  of  heart.  I  felt  for  a  short 
time  as  if  I  had  lost  the  blessing  that  I  had  obtained. 
But  the  Lord  soon  comforted  me  again,  with  the  words, 
We  walk  by  faith,  not  by  sight.  I  thought  at  rirst  I  could 
not  trust  in  him,  without  the  sweet  sense  of  his  presence. 
But  I  looked  up  to  him  for  strength,  and  he  enabled  me 
to  put  my  trust  in  him,  and  retain  an  unshaken  confidence 
in  God,  and  to  feel  that  my  hope  was  as  an  anchor  within 
the  veiL  I  was  tried  various  ways,  and  tempted  to  partake 
of  the  vanities  of  the  world,  and  to  follow  the  practices  and 
customs  of  the  times.  But  I  chose  rather  to  walk  with 
God ;  for  I  found  that  I  could  not  serve  God  and  the 
world.  I  often  thought  how  happy  I  should  be  if  I  had 
one  companion  in  the  ways  of  religion.  I  found  great 
satisfaction  in  reading  the  Bible,  and  other  good  books  ; 
and  I  rejoiced  in  hope  of  that  day  when  I  should  join  that 
happy  company  above,  who  were  before  the  throne  of 
God. 

Thus  I  went  on,  keeping  a  constant  watch  over  my  own 
heart,  lest  it  should  depart  from  the  living  God.  Nothing 
special  took  place  until  about  seventeen  months  after  I 
had  made  a  solemn  dedication  of  myself  to  God,  in  a 
covenant  never  to  be  forgotten,  which  was  about  the  month 
of  June,  1788. 

My  mind  seemed  to  be  engaged  quite  differently  from 
5 


« 


M 


4*; 


i-iFi;  ANi>  i;\i'EK1i:n(;1':  uk 


wliat  it  had  licon  heretofore.  [  Avas  iiatarally  of  a  vcrv 
timid  make,  and  foiul  of  retirement,  and  kept  my  mind 
close  to  myself,  respecting  my  reU<^ious  exercises.  IJut 
at  tliis  time,  my  mind  seemed  turned  quite  anotlier  way ; 
for  I  was  so  beset  with  arguing  upon  rcUgion,  and  some- 
times I  fancied  myself  talking  with  such  engagedness,  that 
I  would  forget  myself.  At  other  times,  I  would  be  en- 
gaged in  writing  upon  some  religious  subjects,  that  I  was 
so  hurried  from  day  to  day,  with  such  fancied  employ- 
ments that  I  thought  surely  they  were  temptations  from 
Satan,  and  I  used  every  method  I  could  to  overcome  them. 
I  would  be  determined  that  they  should  have  no  place  in 
my  mind.  Eut  as  soon  as  my  hands  were  engaged  in  my 
work,  my  mind  would  be  caught  away  as  usual,  engaged 
in  discoursing  or  writing  as  before,  and  more  I  resisted, 
and  so  much  tlie  more  I  was  impressed  with  those 
engagements. 

I  then  stopped,  and  considered  that  I  had  before  been 
enabled  to  overcome  every  kind  of  besetment  and  tempta- 
tion, with  which  I  had  been  assailed,  and  what  could  be 
the  cause  of  this.  I  looked  up  to  heaven,  and  said  in 
my  heart,  is  this  a  temptation  from  the  enemy  ?  Or  is  it 
possible  that  God,  in  the  order  of  his  providence,  hath 
designed  that  such  an  unworthy  person  as  I  am,  should  at 
some  future  period  be  engaged  in  promoting  his  cause  ? 
As  soon  as  those  thoughts  had  passed  through  my  mind, 
I  was  astonished  beyond  measure  at  the  words  which 
were  so  forcibly  applied  to  my  mind :  "  Even  for  this 
cause  have  I  raised  thee  up." 

I  did  not  hear  any  voice,  but  I  was  never  more  shocked 
and  alarmed  at  a  clap  of  thunder,  in  all  my  life.  I  had 
never  read  those  words  in  the  Bible,  and  was  not  aware  it 


I' 


MRS.    MARV    LUADLLY. 


n 


Dt*  a  very 
my  mind 
scs.  But 
her  way  ; 
[lud  somc- 
Iness,  that 
lid  be  en- 
lat  I  was 
d  employ- 
:ions  from 
oraethem. 
)  place  in 
ged  in  my 
1,  engaged 
I  resisted, 
ivith    those 

fore  been 
nd  tempta- 

could  be 
id  said  in 
Or  is  it 
encCj  hath 

should  at 
13  cause  ? 
my  mind, 
rds  which 
n  for  this 

;e  shocked 
I  had 
t  aware  it 


contained  them.     1.  then  argued   thus,  ''J  low   can   these 
things  be  ?  a  female  to  be  called  of  God  I  " 

I  always  heard  that  women  had  nothing  to  do  in  public, 
respecting  religious  exercises,  and  that  it  wa?  absolutely 
forliidden  in  the  Scriptures  for  a  woman  to  pray  in  public, 
or  to  have  anything  to  Lay  in  the  church  of  God.  Under 
the  consideration  of  tliosc  things,  I  felt  much  shame,  and 
confusion,  and  knew  not  how  to  endure  it.  The  crosi, 
appeared  too  great  for  me  to  take  it  up.  I  said  nothing 
to  any  one  upon  the  subject  ;  but  I  pondered  it  over  in 
my  heart.  I  looked  back  upon  past  experience,  and  still 
felt  it  mv  one  desire  to  serve  God,  and  a  determination  to 
cleave  close  to  him.  I  felt  an  unshaken  confidence  in 
him,  that  he  would  do  all  things  well.  I  thought  the  only 
way  for  my  establishment,  was  to  search  the  Scriptures  ; 
accordingly,  I  began  at  the  first  of  the  Bible,  in  order  to 
inform  myself  of  wiiat  it  contained. 

I  found  it  written  in  Exodus,  35th  chapter,  that  women 
were  emriloved  to  aid  and  assist  in  furnishing  the  taberna- 
cle.  I  thought  surely  that  this  Avas  a  figure  of  gospel 
times.  I  also  found  written  that  Miriam,  the  sister  of 
Moses  and  Aaron,  was  called  a  prophetess,  and  took  a 
timbrel  in  her  hand,  and  all  the  women  went  out  after  her, 
Avith  timbrels  and  with  dances,  and  Miriam  answered 
them  :  "  Sing  ye  to  the  Lord,  for  he  hath  triumphed  glo- 
riously. The  horse  and  his  rider  hath  he  thrown  into  the 
sea." — Exod.  15. 

This  was  a  confirmation  that  although  a  woman  was 
first  in  the  transgression,  that  God  did  not  debar  them 
from  sharing  those  triumphs  of  joy,  when  he  made  bare 
his  holy  arm,  and  wrought  wonders  among  the  children 
of  men. 


1 


48 


LfFK   AND   £XPERII;N(JE   OF 


About  tliis  time,  1788,  Lady  Huntingdon  sent  out  from 
England  two  ministers,  with  a  gratuity  of  JJiltlcs  and 
other  books.  One  of  them  was  obtained  for  the  Presby- 
terian cliurch  hi  Sl)e!HchI,  and  after  a  short  trial,  he  was 
chosen.  Having  been  -without  a  minister  for  twelve  or 
thirteen  yeai^s,  the  flock  was  much  scattered,  but  he  made 
it  liis  busines-s  to  gather  them  together  again. 

About  the  month  of  September  following,  I  was  at  the 
meeting,  and  before  the  morning  service  began,  a  woman 
was  received  into  the  church,  who  had  been  a  member  of 
a  church  in  the  States  of  America.  Mrs.  M.  stooil  up  in 
the  broad  aisle  before  all  the  congregation,  and  was 
requested  to  tell  her  experiencs,  which  she  did  ;  after  be- 
ing asked  several  questions,  which  she  answered  discreetly, 
she  was  received  by  the  signal  of  holding  up  the  right 
hand.  After  the  public  service  was  over,  the  sacrament 
of  the  Lord's  supper  was  administered.  During  the 
whole  of  the  exercises  I  paid  the  greatest  attention,  for  it 
was  the  first  experience  I  ever  heard  told,  and  the  first 
time  I  ha',  ever  seen  tlK)  sacrament  administered. 

AVhile  I  saw  the  pcoj)le  partake  of  the  elements,  it 
occurred  to  my  mind  I  was  one  of  God's  children,  and  it 
was  my  determination  to  serve  him,  and  to  be  found  in  the 
path  of  duty  ;  and  was  all  this  nothing  to  me  ?  If  it  was 
their  duty,  Avas  it  not  mine  ?  While  I  was  thinking  upon 
those  things,  the  cross  appeared  so  great  I  thought  I  could 
never  take  it  up.  But  I  thought  again,  "  this  will  not 
excuse  me  in  the  o-reat  dav."  I  then  set  out  afresh  to 
search  the  Scriptures,  and  when  I  found  our  Savior's  own 
words  recorded,  "  Do  this  in  remembrance  of  me,"  and 
"  Let  your  light  so  shine  before  men,  that  seeing  your 
good   works,   they   may  glorify  your  Father   who  is  in 


1 


MRS.   MARY   liRADLEY. 


49 


out  from 
lies  and 
Prcsby- 
,  he  was 
welve  or 
he  made 

,3  at  the 
a  woman, 
3mber  of 
>cil  up  in 
and   was 
after  be- 
iscrectly, 
the  right 
acrament 
krini;   tho 
on,  for  it 
he  first 

mcnts,  ifc 
n,  and  it 
md  in  the 
If  it  was 
ing  upon 
it  I  couhi 
Avill  not 
afresh  to 
ior's  own 
ne,"  and 
in'jf  YOur 
,ho  is  in 


lieaven,"  1  tliouglit  how  can  I  fulfil  these  commands,  and 
live  a  private  Christian,  and  liow  can  I  partake  of  the 
sacrament  without  joining  the  church,  and  becoming  a 
member  of  it ;  and,  alas !  my  Hesh  and  spirit  shrunk  at 
the  idea  of  taking  up  such  a  cross.  But  I  found  it  writ- 
ten, "  Whosoever  shall  be  ashamed  of  me  before  men,  of 
him  will  I  be  ashamed  before  my  Father  and  his  holy  an- 
gels ;  "  and,  "  Whosoever  will  confess  me  before  men, 
him  will  I  also  confess  before  my  Father,  and  before  his 
holy  angels." 

At  the  reading  of  these  words  I  felt  ashamed  and  con- 
demned in  my  own  conscience,  for  it  told  me  I  had  felt 
that  shame  ;  and  except  I  denied  myself,  and  took  up  my 
cross  and  followed  him,  I  could  not  be  his  disciitle.  I 
prayed  earnestly  to  the  Lord  to  bow  my  stubborn  will,  and 
give  me  a  humble  submission  to  his  will ;  and,  blessed  be 
liis  holy  name,  he  heard  and  answered  my  prayer  and 
gave  me  a  desire  and  resolution  to  go  forward  and  join  tho 
church.  I  then  opened  my  mind  to  my  parents,  who  were 
moml)crs  of  the  same  church,  who  made  my  wishes  known 
to  the  elder  and  deacons,  who  set  a  time  for  me  to  come 
before  them  for  examination,  which  took  j)lace  before  tho 
next  sacrament.  I  felt  the  cross  lightened,  and  had  not 
a  doubt  but  I  could  tell  my  experience  to  their  satisfaction. 
But  I  was  greatly  disappointed  ;  for  when  I  came  before 
a  company  of  grave,  aged  men,  for  such  a  purpose,.  I 
felt  so  bashful  I  knew  not  how  to  look  up.  I  began  to 
tell  my  experience,  but  was  overcome  with  fear  of  man, 
which  bringeth  a  snare.  They  asked  me  a  few  questions, 
but  my  mind  was  so  shut  up,  and  such  darkness  came  over 
me,  that  I  knew  not  how  to  answer  as  I  ought  to  do.  But 
one  of  them,  who  seemed  to  discover  my  confusion,  said  to 


50 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


my  comfort,  tliat  perhaps  I  could  not  tell  at  that  *'mo  tho 
8ul)Stance  of  what  I  had  experienced,  adding  it  was  often 
the  case  with  youiii^  Christians.  They  dismissed  mo,  say- 
ing I  should  have  to  tell  my  experience  in  the  meeting 
house  at  such  a  time,  and  if  approved,  would  bo  ad- 
mitted. 

It  is  impossible  for  mo  to  describe  the  feelings  of  my 
mind  at  the  time.  I  said,  "something  is  not  right  with 
mo ;  perhaps  1  have  committed  some  secret  sin  of  which 
I  am  not  conscious."  I  examined  my  motive  for  joining 
the  church,  and  every  step  1  had  taken  towards  it,  and  I 
could  not  tell  what  was  the  matter. 

I  concluded  that  I  would  go  to  God,  as  when  I  at  first 
set  out  to  seek  him,  in  confidence  that  ho  would  hear  me 
again.     I   felt   myself    ignorant  and   sorrowful ;    but   I 
endeavored   to  look  out  of  myself  to  Jesus  Christ,  and 
thus  I  i)rayed  and  wrest'cd  with  him.     At  length,  when 
reading  the  fifty-first  psalm,  light  broke  into  my  soul,  par- 
ticularly the  seventh  verse,  which  was  the  language  of  my 
lieart:  "'  Purge  me  with  hyssop  and  I  shall  be  clean,  wash 
me  and  I  shall  be  whiter  than  snow."     At  tho  application 
of  these  words,  I  fclo  all  my  darkness  and  trouble  to  be 
removed.  I  felt  a  witness  that  all  my  sin  was  pardoned.  The 
peace  and  joy  I  then  felt  was  indescribable.     I  enjoyed 
sweet  commuxiion  with  God.     I  thought  the  change  was 
almost  as  great  as  when  I  at  first  sought  the  Lord  ;  only 
I  was  then  delivered  from  the  fear  of  eternal  death,  but 
now  from  darkness  of  mind  and  the  fear  of  man. 

I  felt  entirely  willing  to  take  up  my  cross  in  every  way. 
I  had  deeper  sense  of  my  own  unworthiness  and  weakness 
than  I  had  before,  and  more  expanded  views  of  religion. 


1 


MUS.    MARY    liRAftLEi'. 


51 


'ino  tlio 
as  often 
n\o,  say- 
moeting 
I  be  ad- 

3  of  my 

r\\t  Avith 
Df  wl  I  it'll 

,t,  and  1 

I  at  first 
hear  me 
;    but   I 

rist,  and 

th,  Avhcn 

loul,  par- 

c  of  my 

an,  wash 

plication 

to  be 

d.  The 

enjoyed 

igc  was 

;l  ;  only 

ath,  but 

!ry  way. 
cakness 
,'cligion' 


I  ft'It  the  Lord  had  doeponcd  his  work  iu  my  heart,  and 
my  hope  was  founded  n\)on  the  Rock  of  A^es. 

I  searched  diligently  to  fmd  out  the  cause  of  the  chas- 
tisement. I  soon  discovereil  tliat  I  had  indulged  seU'-Hat- 
terers  ansin;;  from  tem[)tations,  such  as  suited  my  fidlen 
nature.  I  had  passed  smoothly  aloni^  for  a  considerable 
time,  without  any  fear  of  coining  short.  I  had  a  bright 
prospect  of  future  glory,  and  not  one  doubt  of  the  work 
of  grace  being  wrought  iu  my  heart.  I  loathed  atid  al>- 
horred  the  vanities  of  tlie  world,  and  my  delight  was  in 
the  things  of  God. 

1  thought  I  could  view  the  land  of  promise  in  full  faith, 
that  at  some  future  period  I  should  possess  it.      Under 
such  bright  prospects,  I  enjoyed  great  happiness;  every 
moment  seemed  sweetened  witli  the  divine   presence.      I 
said  in  my  heart,  Wliat  am  I,  that  I  should  be  sejjarated 
from  all  the  youths  of  ray  age,  and  enjoy  sucli  privileges  ? 
I  thought,  surely  I  am  higidy  favored,   and  one  of  the 
happiest  creatures  on  earth.     1  thought  I  lived   near  to 
the  Lord,  and  was  guided  by  his  counsel.     I  said  in  my 
heart,  surely,  I  do  not  commit  sin :  for  I  feel  no  inclina- 
tion to  it,  nor  guilt  for  it.     I  had  heard  old  professors  of 
religion  say  that   Christians  could  not  live  one  moment 
without  Committing  sin.     I  thought,  surely   then  I  have 
experienced  something  more  than  is  common,  for  it  is  not 
the  case  with  me.     I  did  not  perceive  the   tempter  in  all 
this,   being   ignorant  of  his   subtil ty  ;  ))ut  after  passing 
through  the  furnace,  I  discovered  the  dross.     O,  how  did 
the  serpent  try  to  hide  himself  while  secreting  my  pride  ! 
and  how  hateful  did  my  heart  api)car  to  myself,  for  in- 
dulging thoughts  in  my  own  favor !     I  perceived  that 
temptations  indulged  in  that  polished  way,  are  far  more 


•i 


52 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


clangorous,  being  more  imperceptible,  than  those  of  a  more 
open  character  ;   but, 

"Ilniitli  mysf'll',  wlion  (Jodl  sei-, 
And  into  notliin,£r  fall ; 
Content  if  thou  exalted  be, 
And  Cla-ist  lie  all  in  all." 

A  time  Avas  sot  for  my  joining  the  church,  and  I  ac- 
cordingly went  to  Sheffield  for  that  purpose.  As  I  was 
^^reatlv  embarrassed  on  a  former  occasion,  I  now  wrote 
a  brief  account  of  my  experience,  and  handed  it  to  the 
minister,  who  read  it  to  the  congregation.  He  expressed 
his  entire  approbation  of  my  experience,  and  asked  me 
many  questions,  which  I  answered  to  his  satisfaction  and 
that  of  the  whole  church  ;  and  I  was  then  received  with 
their  unanimous  approbation.  My  heart  was  filled  with  a 
large  measure  of  divine  love,  and  especially  to  the  church 
which  I  had  just  joined. 

One  principal  o1»ject  of  my  joining  the  church  was  to 
enjoy  the  privilege  of  receiving  the  sacrament.  My  ex- 
pectations were  high,  as  to  the  comfort  and  joy  I  should 
receive  on  the  occasion ;  but  when  I  took  the  bread  in 
my  hand,  something  said,  "  Throw  it  away."  "  What !  " 
I  said,  "  shall  I  throw  the  children's  bread  away,  and 
give  it  to  the  dogs  ?  "  This  I  concluded  must  be  a  temp- 
tation, and  I  ate  the  bread,  but  it  was  a  dry  morsel  to 
me.  A  cloud  of  darkness  came  over  my  mind,  and  I  was 
thrown  into  confusion  and  distress.  I  then  retired  and 
poured  out  my  heart  in  prayer  and  supplication  to  God, 
without  receiving  any  comfort.  In  the  afternoon,  I  at- 
tended the  public  service,  and  during  the  time  of  sing- 
ing, my  mind  wis  opened  to  a  view  of  things  such  as  I 
never  had  before.      Suddenly,  as  in  the  twinkling  of  an 


MRS.    MAUY    liKAULEY. 


oa 


f  a  more 


id  I  ac- 
s  I  was 
iw  wrote 
t  to  the 
jxprcssed 
^ked  mo 
tion  and 
v^ed  with 
ed  with  a 
10  church 

1  was  to 
My  ex- 
I  should 
bread  in 
What ! " 
ivav,  and 
a  temp- 
morsel  to 
md  I  was 
ired  and 
to  God, 
I  at- 
c  of  sing- 
uch  as  I 
ing  of  an 


on, 


eye,  the  whole  assembly  appeared  changed.  I  had  such 
an  awful  sense  of  their  being  in  one  mass  of  misery,  that 
I  seemed  as  if  my  heart  would  rend  asunder.  I  could 
realize  no  part  of  them  but  from  their  shoulders  upwards. 
These  sensations  filled  me  with  such  distress,  that  it  was 
with  the  ;;;reatest  difficulty  imaixinalde  that  I  could  restrain 
iny  voice.  I  folded  my  arms  tight  across  me,  and  exerted 
myself  with  all  my  might  to  keep  within  bounds.  But 
when  they  had  done  singing,  those  apj)earances  were  with- 
drawn, and  every  thing  appeared  natural  again.  Then  I 
thought  I  could  account  for  my  disappointment  at  the 
sacrament.  For  instead  of  reccivinL!;  such  a  measure  of 
hap|iiness  as  I  expected,  from  the  presence  of  God  to  my 
soul,  he  gave  me  a  deep  Rcnse  of  the  lost  state  of  my  fel- 
low mortals  while  in  their  sins. 

When  I  came  to  take  a  view  of  my  present  experience, 
I  clearly  saw  the  impropriety  of  my  going  on  my  way 
rejoicing,  though  I  had  such  a  bright  })rosi)ect  of  future 
haiipiness.  I  seemed  as  if  I  had  just  awoke  to  a  sense 
of  mv  dutv,  and  I  liad  found  mcrcv  at  the  hand  of  Cod, 
that  I  should  exert  myself  in  behalf  of  my  fellow  crea- 
tures. I  felt  such  love  and  pity  for  them  as  I  never  had 
done  before  in  all  my  life.  After  the  service  was  over,  I 
got  a  passage  with  esquire's  fomily  homeward,  but  as  my 
father  lived  two  or  three  miles  I'arthcr,  I  consequently 
stayed  at  his  house  that  night. 

My  mind  was  constantly  engaged,  pondering  over  and 
wondering  at  the  things  which  ha<l  happened  to  mo 
through  the  day.  I  could  not  f\ithoin  the  depth  of  God's 
dealing  with  me,  but  I  clearly  saw  that  all  he  did  was 
right.  I  felt  a  solemn  sense  of  his  presence,  and  a  fresh 
determination  to  give  up  myself  to  him,  and  to  be  more 


54 


LIl'E    AND    EXPEiUEXCIi    01' 


{'  ' 


earnestly  cn,!iagecl  in  prayer  for  iny  fellow  creatures.  I 
"svent  up  stairs  for  hod,  Avith  a  young  ■woman  ;  she  retired 
lirst,  but  I  thought  I  could  not  go  into  my  bed  before  I 
had  spent  some  time  in  secret  prayer.  I  therefore  stepped 
out  of  the  room,  and  kneeled  down  in  the  dark,  "with  my 
eyes  closed,  standing  upright  upon  my  knees,  without  a 
prop,  bearing  upon  my  mind  those  of  whose  Avrctched 
state  I  had  just  had  such  a  discovery.  As  soon  as  I 
lifted  up  my  desires  to  Almighty  God,  I  entirely  lost  all 
sight  and  sense  of  myself,  who,  or  what,  or  where  I  was. 
Viewing  myself  as  in  a  large  room,  the  first  passage  that 
came  to  my  mind  was  where  the  "  King  made  a  mar- 
riage for  his  !Son,  and  said  unto  his  servants.  Go  ye  out 
into  the  highways  and  hedges,  and  compel  them  to  come 
in,  that  my  house  may  be  filled."  And  as  those  things 
occurred  to  me,  I  saw  the  people  at  a  distance,  coming  to 
the  house.  They  appeared  to  be  proper  guests  for  such 
an  entertahnnent,  cleansed  and  purified  from  all  their  sin, 
and  made  completely  happy. 

The  first  who  came  in,  greatly  increased  my  happiness  ; 
and  as  the  number  continued  to  increase  until  the  house 
was  full,  the  joy  that  I  felt  in  that  assembly  was  indescri- 
bable. All  appeared  filled  with  purity,  and  perfect  love. 
Nothing  but  holiness  and  solid  joy  was  realized  among  us. 
I  have  no  recollection  of  any  exercise,  motion,  or  voice ; 
but  a  calm,  serene  frame  of  mind.  It  appeared  as  if  a 
uniting  spirit  circulated  from  heaiu  to  heart,  in  such  a 
manner  that  beholding  each  ether's  countenance  testified 
the  love  we  felt  to  each  oti^ev. 

I  looked  up  and  bdield  my  blessed  Savior  as  suspended 
a  little  distance  above  us,  seeing  only  his  face,  looking 
down  upon  mo  with  a  smile,  and  heard   him  say,  "now  I 


!\|[1S.    .MAUY    i.j;.\i)Ji[;v 


;>.) 


Lires.  I 
(  retired 
before  I 
!  stepped 
with  my 
without  a 
kvre  tolled 
»on   as   I 

lost  all 
:e  I  was. 
sage  that 
e  a  mar- 
0  ye  out 

to  come 
se  things 
coming  to 

for  such 

their  sin, 

ppiness  ; 

Ihe  house 

indescri- 

■fect  love. 

mong  us. 

r   voice ; 

as  if  a 

[1  such  a 

testified 


luspen 


ded 


.,  looking 


a 


now 


can  take  delight  in  viewing,"  —  meaning,  as  I  thought, 
that  we  were  so  saved  and  united,  and  so  increased  each 
other's  happiness,  that  it  was  his  delight.  I  was  filled 
with  wonder  and  amazement,  and  thought.  What  place  is 
this  ?  is  it  heaven  ?  am  I  in  heaven,  or  on  earth  ?  or  shall 
I  ever  see  the  like  upon  earth  ?  That  passage  came  to 
my  mind,  "  I  had  rather  be  a  door-keeper  in  the  house 
of  my  God,  than  to  dwell  in  the  tents  of  wickedness." 
Then  I  heard  it  said  there  was  one  who  had  not  on  a  wed- 
ding garment ;  at  which  I  felt  grieved,  and  my  joy  to 
abate.  Then  I  said  to  myself,  surely,  this  could  not  be 
heaven,  for  there  are  none  in  heaven  but  what  are  holy  ; 
therefore  it  must  be  some  place  on  earth. 

At  this  conclusion,  the  scene  Avas  immediately  with- 
drawn, and  I  was  still  upon  my  knees,  and  in  the  same 
j)Ostiu'e  as  at  the  first.  I  aiose  and  went  to  the  bed,  and 
foird  the  young  woman  awake.  I  had  no  knowledge  of 
tiij  •^•h  of  time  I  was  absent,  neither  did  I  ask  her  any 
quv.»<  ;..,  nor  tell  her  what  had  happened  me.  I  said  a 
few  words  to  her  about  her  soul's  salvation,  but  she  made 
me  no  answer. 

I  was  lost  in  wonder  and  amazement  at  the  remarkable 
dealings  of  God  with  me.  I  said  in  my  heart,  surely, 
the  Lord  is  going  to  do  wonders  in  the  earth.  I  thought 
the  sight  of  the  miserable  state  of  the  people  in  the  last 
meeting,  to  which  the  above  account  refers,  was  to  show 
me  the  unhappy  state  of  mankind  in  general.  And  the 
happy  state  in  which  I  saw  them  in  the  evening,  was  to 
shew  me  his  intention  to  bring  about  a  general  reforma- 
tion throughout  the  whole  world.  ^My  heart  was  all  in  a 
flame  of  zeal,  expecting  that  God  would  shortly  accom- 
plish his  glorious  work.      'J  ho  next  day,  when  thinking 


rx; 


iMIlH.    MARY    JiUADLEY. 


11 


t  ■ 


11 


over  tliose  things,  carefully  examining  my  own  heart, 
knowing  I  had  a  subtle  adversary  to  encounter,  "who  could 
transform  himself  into  an  angel  of  light,  and  how  liable  I 
was  to  bo  led  astray  l)y  his  devices,  if  I  were  not  directed 
by  the  Word  as  well  as  by  the  Spirit  of  God,  I  thought, 
surely  the  Lord  hath  caused  every  thing  to  bo  recorded 
in  his  Word,  which  will  take  place  in  time.  I  therefore 
felt  resolved  to  search  the  Scriptures,  to  see  if  I  could 
find  a  confirmation  of  those  things  which  had  been  brought 
to  my  view.  Accordingly,  when  I  returned  home,  I  took 
the  Bible,  and  opened  it  promiscuously,  and  the  passage 
I  beheld  was  the  first  chapter  of  the  book  of  Exodus,  and 
the  first  thing  which  took  hold  of  my  mind  was  in  the 
second  chapter  of  Exodus ;  Moses  being  raised  up  by  the 
pfovidence  of  God,  contrary  to  the  king's  commandment ; 
the  Hebrew  bondage,  and  Moses  being  raised  up  in  Pha- 
raoh's hruse.  I  was  led  to  read  the  history  through, 
which  greatly  enlightened  my  understanding,  and  satisfied 
my  mind.     The  third  chapter  was  very  interesting. 


wn  heart, 
who  could 
)W  lial)le  I 
t  directed 
'.  thought, 
recorded 
therefore 
if  I  could 
!n  brought 
ne,  I  took 
le  passage 
xodus,  and 
'as  in  the 
up  by  the 
landment ; 
p  in  Pha- 
through, 
d  satisfied 
ng. 


'I 

I 
f 

i 


CHAPTER  VII. 


"  Now  Moses  kept  the  flock  of  Jetliro,  his  father-in-law, 
the  priest  of  Midian:  and  he  led  the  flock  to  the  back  side 
of  the  desert,  and  came  to  the  mountain  of  God,  even  to 
Horeb. 

*'  And  the  angel  of  the  Lord  appeared  unto  him  in  a  flame 
of  fire  out  of  the  midst  of  a  bush  :  and  he  looked,  and,  be- 
hold, the  bush  burned  with  fire,  and  the  bush  was  not  con- 
sumed. And  Moses  said,  I  will  now  turn  aside,  and  see 
this  great  sight,  why  the  bush  is  not  burned.  And  when 
the  Lord  saw  that  he  turned  aside  to  see,  God  called  unto 
him  out  of  the  midst  of  the  bush,  and  said,  Moses,  Moses. 
And  he  said,  here  am  I.  And  he  said,  draw  not  nigh 
hither  :  put  ofi'  thy  shoes  from  off  thy  feet,  for  the  place 
whereon  thou  standcst  is  holy  ground.  Moreover  he  said, 
I  am  the  God  of  thy  father,  the  God  of  Abraham,  the  God 
of  Isaac,  and  the  God  of  Jacob.  And  Moses  hid  his  face  ; 
for  he  was  afraid  to  look  upon  God.  And  the  Lord  said, 
I  have  surely  seen  the  affliction  of  my  people  which  are  in 
Egypt,  and  have  heard  their  cry  by  reason  of  their  task- 
masters ;  for  I  know  tlicir  sorrows  :  And  I  am  come  down 
to  deliver  them  out  of  the  hand  of  the  Egyptians,  and  to 
bring  them  up  out  of  that  land  unto  a  good  land  and  a 
large,  unto  a  land  flowing  with  milk  and  honey."     In 


G 


5< 


r.s 


l.Il'i:   AND    i;XPJ;ilIKNCH   ok 


M- 


? 


reu(lin,L5  those  statements  conccniin;^  (Jod's  I.srael,  I  saw 
somctliin,^  figurative,  and  the  |)romi.s(?s  applicable,  so  that 
*'n'  inliid  Avas  cointbrted  and  established;  hut  I  thought  it 
very  mysterious  that  I  should  he  exercised  in  such  a  way, 
being  such  a  young,  ignorant,  unworthy  creature  as  I  Avas ! 
l^ers,'  [).  "  iS'ow  therefore,  behold,  the  cry  of  the  chil- 
dren of  Israel  is  come  unto  me :  and  I  have  also  seen  the 
oj)pression  wherewith  the  Egyptians  oppress  them.  Come 
now  therefore,  and  I  Avill  send  thee  unto  Pharaoh,  that 
thou  may  est  bring  forth  my  people,  the  children  of  Israel, 
out  of  Egypt."  Then  I  was  struck  Avith  fear  and  amaze- 
ment; and  said,  surely  this  cannot  be  for  me.  No,  it  is 
never  allowed  for  females  to  go  on  such  errands ;  but  still, 
I  felt  the  application  in  such  a  manner,  that  I  kncAv  not 
Avhat  to  do.  I  tried  all  I  could  to  put  it  from  me  ;  but  I 
could  not  get  rid  of  it. 

Verse  11.  "  And  Moses  said  unto  God,  Avho  am  I,  that 
I  should  go  unto  Pharaoh,  and  that  I  should  bring  forth 
the  children  of  Israel  out  of  Egypt  ?"  I  felt  arrested, 
and  confused  in  my  mind,  and  so  entangled  that  I  knew 
not  Avhat  to  do." 

Chap.  4  :  10.  "  And  Moses  said  unto  the  Lord,  0 
my  Lord,  I  am  not  eloquent,  neither  heretofore,  nor  since 
thou  hast  spoken  unto  thy  servant :  but  I  am  sIoav  of 
speech,  and  of  a  sIoav  tongue.  And  the  Lord  said  unto 
him,  Avho  hath  made  man's  mouth  ?  have  not  I  the  Lord  ? 
NoAV  therefore  go,  and  I  Avill  be  Avith  thy  mouth,  and  teach 
thee  Avhat  thou  shalt  say.  And  he  said,  0  my  Lord,  send, 
I  pray  thee,  by  the  hand  of  him  Avhom  thou  Avilt  send.  And 
the  anger  of  the  Lord  xvas  kindled  aa'ainst  Moses." 

I  thought  Moses's  objections  and  opposition  to  the  com 
mands  of  God,  and  aiguments  against  obeying  him,  and 


rt 

S( 

t 

k 
c* 
at 


^s 


MUS.    MAilY    lillAJULLY'. 


;VJ 


I  saw 
so  tliat 
nirlit  it 
a  way, 
I  Avas ! 
e  cliil- 
cn  the 
Come 
h,  that 
Israel, 
amaze- 

0,  it  is 
3ut  still 
.ew  not 
;  but  I 

1,  that 
forth 

rested, 
-  knew 

iOrd,  0 
ir  since 
low  of 
id  unto 
Lord  ? 
d  teach 
send, 
And 

e  com 
n,  and 


refusing  to  take  up  his  cross,  because  of  his  own  irial)ility, 
seemed  so  much  like  the  reasouin;^^.  of  my  own  miml ;  and 
the  words  which  were  spoken  to  Moses  were  so  ap})lied  to 
my.-^elf;  that  when  it  was  said,  the  Lord's  anger  was 
kindled  against  Moses  for  liis  attempting  to  disobey  his 
commands,!  was  filled  with  fear,  and  terror,  and  shrunk 
at  the  idea  of  oftendiug  him.  I  was  afraid  to  draw  up  any 
conclusion,  leaving  it  all  to  himself;  thinking  we  were  the 
work  of  his  hands,  and  he  had  a  sovereign  right  to  do  what 
he  saw  fit  with  his  own  ;  and  that  we  created  beings  had 
no  right  to  repl'  ag-'  'i  him  who  creat^il  us,  I  felt  it 
was  my  duty  t.  ibm  )  the  will  of  (jv,  .,  and  wait  his 
time  to  reveal  it,  by  the  opening  of  his  providence.  I  Avas 
fully  established  it  was  the  Lord's  doing,  however  marvel- 
lous it  was  in  my  eyes. 

J'lrse  14.  "  And  he  said,  is  not  Aaron,  the  Levite,  tliy 
brother  ?  I  know  that  he  can  speak  well.  And  also, 
behold,  he  cometh  forth  to  meet  thue :  and  when  he  seeth 
thee,  he  will  be  glad  in  his  heart.  And  thou  shalt  speak 
unto  him,  and  put  words  in  his  mouth  :  and  I  will  be  with 
tliv  mouth,  and  with  his  mouth,  and  will  teach  vou  what  ye 
shall  do."  I  thought  surely  God  will  provide  an  Aaron, 
in  his  own  time,  to  do  his  work. 

The  week  following  was  verv  remarkable,  from  the  time 
1  returned  home  to  my  father's  house,  Mhich  was  on  Mon- 
day, until  the  Saturday  night  following. 

I  think  I  may  safely  say  that  God  was  directing  and 
enlightening  my  mind.  The  discoveries  I  had  in  that 
time,  are  out  of  my  power  to  write.  I  can  com[)are  them  to 
nothing  more  suitable,  than  the  unfolding  of  volumes  of  past, 
present,  and  future  events  —  religious  ami  {)oliiical.  Time 
like  a  wheel  roUing  round,  the  events  of  providence  a  id 
the  transactions  of  the  world  formin;'  a  wheel  within  a 


60 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


■'f 


n 

III 
I- 1 


1^ 


i; 


wheel,  while  I  was  beholding  and  admiring  the  wisdom, 
power,  truth,  justice,  mercy  and  goodness  of  God.  These 
words  were  continually  turning  over  and  over  in  my  mind  : 
"  Great  is  the  mystery  of  godliness.  0,  the  wonderful 
works  of  God  !  unto  you  is  given  to  know  the  mystery 
of  the  kingdom  of  God." 

The  weight  those  sensations  brought  upon  my  mind  was 
exceedingly  great.  While  I  was  thinking  of  it,  these  words 
were  applied  to  me  :  "I  will  give  thee  strength  according 
to  thy  day."  Then  I  felt  I  could  cast  all  my  care  upon  the 
Lord,  believing  he  would  strengthen  and  support  me.  I 
pondered  over  those  things,  and  determined  to  keep  them 
a  profound  secret ;  but  I  was  deeply  affected  under  a 
sense  of  the  deadness  and  backsliding  state  of  professing 
Christians,  and  the  wretched  state  of  mankind  at  large. 
It  appeared  to  me  that  the  Lord  was  about  to  do  a  gi'cat 
work  in  the  earth,  and  that  he  would  raise  up  a  pure  church, 
which  would  be  cleansed  from  all  sin,  and  filled  with  pure 
love  to  God,  and  to  one  another. 

I  thought  it  would  be  a  general  thing,  and  that  all 
earthly  things  would  be  changed,  and  that  we  should  be  so 
spiritually  minded,  that  every  thing  would  become  spiritual 
unto  us. 

I  thought  the  Lord  would  take  to  himself  his  great  power, 
and  reign  in  the  hearts  of  the  children  of  men  ;  and  that 
joy,  and  peace,  and  happiness,  would  abound  among  them. 

It  came  to  my  mind  to  search  the  Scriptures  to  ascertain 
whether  or  not  there  was  anything  written  therein  which 
corresponded  with  my  views.  I  opened  to  the  twenty- 
eighth  chapter  of  Isaiah,  and  read  : 

Wo  to  the  crown  of  pride,  to  the  drunkards  of  Ephraim,  whose 
glorious  beauty  is  a  fading  flower,  which  are  on  the  head  of  the  fat 
valleys  of  them  that  are  overcome  with  wine  ! 


f  » 


"t 


MU6.    MAUV    U  HAD  LEY. 


r»i 


irisdom, 
These 
1  mind : 
>nderful 
nystery 

ind  was 
e  words 
cording 
ipon  the 
me.  I 
ep  them 
inder  a 
ofessing 
t  large. 
a  gveat 
church, 
th  pure 

hat  all 

lid  be  so 

piritual 

power, 
nd  that 
2:  them, 
scertain 
which 
twenty- 

whose 
)fthe  fat 


Behold,  llie  Lord  lialli  a  mighty  niid  strong  one,  which  as  a  tcin- 
pi\st  of  li.'iil  mid  a  destroying  storm,  ns  n  iood  of  mighty  waters 
ovcrnowing,  shall  cast  down  to  the  earth  wuh  the  hand. 

'I'iio  crown  of  pride,  the  drunkards  of  Ephraiin,  sliall  oe  trodden 
under  feet: 

And  the  glorious  heauty,  which  is  on  the  head  of  the  fat  valley, 
shall  he  a  fading  tlower,  and  as  the  hasty  fruit  before  the  sununcr; 
which  when  he  thatlooketh  upon  it  seeth,  while  it  is  yet  in  his  hand, 
he  cateth  it  up. 

In  that  day  shall  the  Lord  of  hosts  be  for  u  err  ',  of  glory,  and 
for  a  diidoni  of  beauty,  unto  the  residue  of  his  people, 

And  for  a  spirit  of  judguieut  to  him  that  sitteth  in  jutlgment,  and 
for  strength  to  them  that  turn  the  battle  to  the  gate. 

But  they  also  have  erred  through  wine,  and  through  strong  drink 
are  out  of  the  way;  the  priest  and  the  prophet  have  erred  through 
strong  drink,  they  are  swallowed  up  of  wine,  they  are  out  of  the 
way  through  strong  drink  ;  they  err  in  vision,  they  stumble  in  judg- 
ment. 

For  all  tables  are  full  of  vomit  and  filthiness,  so  that  there  is  no 
place  clean. 

Whom  shall  he  teach  knowledge  ?  and  whom  shall  he  make  to 
understand  doctrine  ?  them  that  are  weaned  from  the  luilk,  and  drawn 
from  the  breasts. 

For  precept  must  be  upon  precept,  precept  upon  precept ;  lino 
upon  line,  line  upon  line ;  here  a  little,  and  there  a  little  : 

For  with  stammering  lips  and  another  tongue  will  he  speak  to  this 
people. 

To  whom  he  said.  This  is  the  rest  wherewith  ye  may  cause 
the  weary  to  rest;  and  this  is  the  refreshing:  yet  thoy  would  not 
liear. 

But  the  word  of  the  IjonI  was  unto  them,  precept  upon  precept, 
prece])t  upon  precept;  line  upon  line,  line  upon  line;  here  a  litt'e 
and  there  a  little;  that  they  might  go,  and  fall  backward,  and  be 
broken,  and  snared,  and  taken. 

Wherefore  hear  the  word  of  the  Lord,  ye  scornful  men,  that  rule 
this  people  which  is  in  Jerusalem. 

Because  ye  have  said,  We  have  made  a  covenant  with  death,  and 
with  hell   are   wo  at  agreement;  when  the   ovcrtlowinn'   scour<'e 

6' 


62 


MFK    AXU    EXPKRIEXrn    OF 


ahfiU  pass  throuijli,  it  shall  not  come  unto  us  :  for  we  have  made  lies 
our  refuge,  and  under  falsehood  have  we  hid  ourselves : 

Therefore  thus  saith  the  Lord  (lod,  behold  I  lay  in  Zion  for  a  foun- 
daiion,  a  stone,  a  tried  stone,  a  precious  corner  stone,  a  sure  founda- 
tion :  he  that  helievcth  shnll  not  make  haste. 

Judgment  also  will  I  lay  to  the  line,  and  righteousness  to  tho 
plummet :  and  the  hail  shall  sweep  away  the  refuge  of  lies,  and  the 
waters  shall  overflow  the  hiding-places. 

And  your  covenant  with  death  shall  be  disannulled,  and  your 
agreement  with  hell  shall  not  stand  ;  when  the  overflowing  scourge 
shall  pass  through,  then  ye  shall  be  trodden  down  by  it. 

From  the  time  that  it  goeth  forth  it  shall  take  you  :  for  morning 
by  morning  shall  it  pass  over,  by  day  and  by  night:  and  it  shall  be 
a  vexation  only  to  understand  the  report. 

For  the  bed  is  shorter  than  that  a  man  can  stretch  himself  on  it: 
and  the  covering  narrower  than  that  he  can  wrap  himself  in  it. 

For  the  Lord  shall  rise  up  as  in  mount  Perazim,  he  shall  be  wroth 
as  in  the  valley  of  Gibecn,  that  he  may  do  his  work,  his  ucrange 
work  ;  and  bring  to  pass  his  act,  his  strange  act. 

Now  therefore  be  ye  not  mockers,  lest  your  bands  be  made  strong: 
for  I  have  heard  from  the  Lord  God  of  hosts  a  consumption,  even 
determined  upon  the  whole  earth. 

Give  ye  ear,  and  hear  my  voice ;  hearken,  and  hear  my  speech. 

Doth  the  ploughman  plough  all  day  to  sow  ?  doth  he  open  and 
break  the  clods  of  his  ground  ? 

When  he  hath  made  plain  the  face  thereof,  doth  he  not  cast 
abroad  the  fitches,  and  scatter  the  cummin,  and  cast  in  the  princi- 
pal wheat,  and  the  appointed  barley,  and  the  rye  in  their  place  ? 

For  his  God  doth  instruct  him  to  discretion,  and  doth  teach  him.  ^ 

For  the  fitches  are  not  threshed  with  a  threshing  instrument, 
neither  is  a  cart-wheel  turned  about  upon  the  cummin ;  but  the 
fitches  are  beaten  out  with  a  staflT,  and  the  cummin  with  a  rod. 

Bread-corn  is  bruised  ;  because  he  will  not  ever  be  threshing  it, 
nor  break  it  with  the  wheel  of  his  cart,  nor  bruise  it  with  his  horse- 
men. 

This  also  cometh  forth  from  the  Lord  of  hosts,  which  is  wonderful 
in  counsel,  and  excellent  in  working. 


MRS.    MAKV     IJUAM.KY. 


63 


iiadclios 

ir  afo^n- 
;  founda- 

s  to  tho 

I,  and  tho 

ind  your 


scourge 


morning 
shall  be 

elf  on  it: 

n  it. 

be  wroth 


s  fetrange 


le  strong: 
ion,  even 

speech. 
)pen  and 

not  cast 

e  princi- 

&ce? 

ch  him.  1 
niment, 
but  the 

rod. 

sliing  it, 

is  horse - 


on 


derful 


While  reading  the  above  cliapter,  I  had  such  an  appli- 
cation of  it  to  my  mind,  that  I  had  not  a  donht  remaining  ; 
for  as  face  answercth  to  face  in  water,  so  the  word  seemed 
to  correspond,  and  I  seemed  to  realize  every  feature.  I 
felt  greatly  strengthened,  and  my  understanding  much  en- 
lightened. I  was  led  to  continue  reading,  and  studying  the 
Prophets,  who  clearly  testified  that  we  were  to  expect  such 
things. 

fsaiah,  chapters  1 1  and  1'2. —  And  thorc  shall  como  forth  a  rod  out 
[of  the  stem  of  Jesse,  and  a  branch  sliall  grow  out  of  his  roots: 

And  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  shall  rest  upon  hiiU;  the  spirit  of  wis- 
dom and  understanding,  the  spirit  of  counsel  and  might,  the  spirit  of 
knowledire  and  of  the  fear  of  the  Lord; 

And  shall  make  him  of  quick  understanding  in  tho  fear  of  the 
Lord:  and  he  shall  not  judge  after  tho  sight  of  his  eyes,  neither  re- 
prove afier  the  hearing  of  his  ears  : 

But  with  righteousness  shall  he  judge  the  poor,  and  reprove  with 
equity  for  tho  meek  of  the  earth:  and  he  shall  smite  the  earth  with 
the  rod  of  his  mouth,  and  with  the  breath  of  his  lips  shall  he  slay 
the  wicked. 

And  righteousness  shall  bo  the  girdle  of  his  loins,  and  faithfulness 
the  girdle  of  his  reins. 

The  wolf  also  shall  dwell  with  the  lamb,  ar.d  the  leopard  shall  lie 
down  with  the  kid;  and  the  calf  and  the  yoimg  lion  and  the  fatling 
together;  and  a  little  child  shall  lead  them. 

And  the  cow  and  the  bear  shall  feed  ;  their  young  ones  shall  lie 
down  together :  and  the  lion  shall  eat  straw  like  the  ox. 

And  the  sucking  child  shall  play  on  the  hole  of  the  asp,  and  the 
weaned  child  shall  put  his  hand  on  the  cockatrice's  den. 

They  shall  not  hurt  nor  destroy  in  all  my  holy  mountain:  for  the 
earth  shall  be  full  of  knowledge  of  the  Lord,  as  the  waters  cover 
the  sea. 

And  in  that  day  there  shall  be  a  root  of  Jesse,  which  shall  stand 
for  an  ensign  of  the  people;  to  it  shall  the  Gentiles  seek:  and  his 
rest  shall  be  glorious. 

And  it  shall  come  to  pass  in  that  day,  that  the  Lord  shall  set  his 


64 


LlFi:    A\I)    KXPKKIKXCK   OF 


hfuul  an:fiiii  the  second  time  to  recover  the  rcmnrint  of  hia  ppoplo, 
wliicli  hIi.iII  Ix'  N'rt,  from  Assyria,  mid  from  Hifypt,  niid  from  T'litliros, 
ntid  from  Cd-^li,  and  from  Mlam,  and  from  Sliinar,  and  from  llamatli, 
and  from  tin'  islands  of  lliesen. 

And  ho  shall  sot  np  nn  ensign  for  the  nations,  nnd  shrill  assnmhlo 
the  outcasts  of  Israel,  and  {jatlior  lo;jrther  the  dispersed  of  Juduh 
from  the  lour  corners  of  iho  earth. 

'i'ho  t'livy  also  of  F''i)hraim  shall  depart,  and  the  adversaries  of 
.Indiih  shall  ho  cut  off:  J'lphraim  shall  not  envy  Jndah,  and  Judah 
shall  not  vox  Kphrain), 

Ihit  they  shall  lly  upon  the  shoulders  of  the  Pliilistines  toward  the 
west;  they  shall  spoil  them  of  the  east  tojjelhor :  tht^y  simll  lay 
their  hand  upon  Edom  and  Moah  ;  and  t)ie  children  of  Aniinon  shall 
ohey  thorn. 

Am  I  the  Lord  shall  utterly  destroy  the  tonjjuc  of  the  E^ryptian 
sea,  and  with  his  mi;;hfy  wind  shall  he  s^hake  his  hand  over  the  river, 
and  shall  smite  it  in  the  seven  streams,  and  make  men  go  over  dry- 
shod. 

And  thera  shall  he  an  Jiij^hway  for  the  remnant  of  his  people, 

Avhich  shall  be  left,  from  Assyria  ;  like  as  it  was  to  Israel  in  the  day 
that  ho  came  up  out  of  the  land  of  E.iiypt. 

And  in  that  day  thon  shall  say,  ()  Lord,  I  will  praise  thee:  thoujjh 
thou  wast  nnyry  with  nic,  thine  anjjer  is  turneil  away,  and  tiiou 
comfortedst  me. 

Behold,  God  is  my  salvation  ;  I  will  trust,  and  not  be  afraid:  for 
the  Lord  Jehovah  is  my  strength  and  my  sonjj ;  ne  also  is  become 
my  salvation. 

'J'horefore  with  joy  shall  ye  draw  water  out  of  the  wells  of  salva- 
tion. 

And  in  that  day  shall  ye  say.  Praise  the  Lord,  call  upon  his  name, 
declare  his  doings  among  the  people,  make  mention  that  his  name 
is  exalted. 

Sing  unto  the  Lord ;  for  he  hath  done  excellent  things  :  this  is 
known  in  all  the  earth. 

(^ry  out  and  shout,  thou  inhabitant  of  Zion  ;  for  great  is  the  Holy 
One  of  Israel  in  the  midst  of  thee. 

Chapter  4*2. — Behold  my  servant,  whom  I  uphold;  mine  elect,  in 
whom  my  soul  dolighteth  ;  I  have  j)ut  my  Spirit  upon  him  :  he  shall 
bring  forth  judgment  to  the  Gentiles. 


£ 


MKS.    MARY    iJRADuEY. 


t)5 


13  pCOplP, 

II  PiilliroB, 
IlaiMiitli, 

assonihic 
of  Juduii 

rsuries  of 
[id  Jiulali 

ownrd  tlio 

hIiuH  lay 

iiiiun  shall 

Egyptian 

•  the  river, 

over  dry- 

ia  people , 
in  the  day 

e :  though 
and  thou 

'raid :  for 
become 

of  sal  va- 
ns name, 
iiis  name 

3 :  this  is 
the  Holy 

elect,  in 
:  he  shall 


lie  shall  not  cry,  nor  lift  up,  nor  cause  his  voice  to  be  heard  in 
tiie  Btreot. 

A  bruised  reed  shall  he  not  break,  and  the  sniokinfj  flax  shall  he 
not  quench:  he  .'•hall  brinjj  torfh  judgment  unto  truth. 

lie  shall  not  fail  nor  be  discouraged,  till  he  have  set  judgment  in 
the  earth:  ond  the  isles  shall  wait  lor  his  law. 

Thus  saith  God  the  Lord,  he  that  created  the  heavens,  and  stretch, 
cd  them  out;  he  that  spread  forth  the  earth,  and  that  which  cometh 
out  of  it;  he  that  giveih  breath  unto  the  people  upon  it,  and  apintto 
them  that  walk  therein  : 

I  the  Lord  have  called  tlieo  in  righteousness,  and  will  hold  thino 
hand,  and  will  keep  thee,  and  give  thee  for  a  covenant  of  the  people, 
for  a  light  of  the  (Jentiles  ; 

To  open  the  blind  eyes,  to  bring  out  the  prisoners  from  the  prison, 
and  them  that  sit  in  darkness  out  of  the  prison-house. 

I  am  the  Lord:  that  is  my  name:  and  my  glo'  '  will  I  not  give  to 
another,  neither  my  praise  to  graven  images. 

Behold,  the  former  things  are  come  to  pass,  and  nev  thir-jj  do  I 
declare:  before  they  spring  forth  I  tell  you  of  the. n. 

Sing  unto  the  Lord  a  new  song,  and  his  praise  from  the  ond  ot  th»' 
earth,  ve  that  go  down  to  the  sea,  and  all  liiat  is  therein  ;  the  isi  !<, 
and  the  inhabitants  thereof. 

Lot  the  wilderness  and  the  cities  thereof  lift  up  theiv  voi^o,  the 
villages  that  Kedar  doth  inhabit :  let  the  inhabitants  of  the  rock  sing, 
let  them  shout  from  the  tf)p  of  the  mountains. 

Let  them  give  glory  unto  the  Lord,  and  declare  his  praise  in  the 
islands. 

Chapter  40. — Listen,  O  isles,  unto  me  ;  and  hearken,  ye  people, 
from  far;  The  Lord  iiath  called  me  from  the  womb ;  from  the  bow- 
els of  my  mother  hath  he  made  mention  of  my  name. 

And  he  hath  made  my  moutli  like  a  sharp  sword;  in  the  shadow 
of  his  hand  hath  he  hid  me,  and  made  me  a  polished  shaft;  in  his 
quiver  hath  he  hid  me  ; 

And  said  unto  me,  Thou  art  my  servant,  O  Israel,  in  whom  I  will 
be  glorified. 

Then  I  said,  I  have  laboured  in  vain,  I  have  spent  my  strength 
for  nought,  and  in  vain  ;  yet  surely  my  judgment  is  with  the  Lord, 
and  my  work  with  my  God. 


06 


LIFE    AND    EXPEUIEXCE    uF 


And  now,  snith  t!io  Lord,  thiit  formed  mo  from  the  womb  to  bo 
his  servant,  to  briti<r  Jacob  ai^ain  to  biin,  ThoiiLfh  Israel  bo  not 
gathered,  yet  shall  I  be  orlorlous  in  the  eyes  of  tlie  Lord,  and  my 
God  shall  bo  my  strenjTtb. 

And  he  said,  It  is  a  lijjht  tliin^f  that  thou  shouldest  bo  my  servant, 
to  raise  up  the  tribes  of  Jacob,  and  to  restore  the  preserved  of  Israel : 
I  will  also  rr,ve  thee  for  a  liijht  to  the  (ientiles,  that  thou  uiayest  bo 
my  salvation  unto  the  end  of  the  earth. 

Thus  saith  the  Lord,  the  Redeemer  of  Israel,  and  his  Holy  One, 
to  him  whom  man  despiseth,  to  liim  whom  the  nation  abhorreth,  to 
a  servant  of  rulers,  kinnrs  shall  see  and  arise,  princes  also  shall  wor- 
ship, because  of  the  Lord  that  is  faithful,  and  the  Holy  One  of  Is- 
rael, and  ho  shall  choose  thee. 

Thus  saith  the  Lord,  In  nn  acceptable  time  have  I  heard  thee,  and 
in  a  day  of  salvation  have  I  helped  thee:  and  I  will  preserve  thee, 
and  jLMve  thee  for  a  covenant  of  the  people,  to  establish  the  earth,  to 
cause  to  inherit  the  desolate  horita<:es: 

That  thou  mayest  say  to  the  pri-oners,  Go  forth  ;  to  them  that  are 
in  darkness,  Show  yourselves.  They  shall  feed  in  the  ways,  and 
their  pastures  shall  be  in  all  hiifh  places. 

They  shall  not  hunfjor  nor  thirst,  neither  shall  the  heat  nor  sun 
smite  them:  for  he  that  hath  mercy  on  them  shall  lead  them,  even 
by  the  spriiiirs  (  f  water  shall  he  ffuide  them. 

And  I  will  make  all  my  mountains  a  way,  and  my  highways  shall 
bo  exalted. 

I?ehold,  these  shall  come  from  far;  and  lo,  these  from  the  north 
and  from  the  west ;  and  these  from  the  land  of  Sinim. 

Sini,^,  O  heav(!ns;  and  be  joyful,  O  earth  ;  and  break  forth  into 
sin;:inu,  O  mountains:  for  the  Lord  hath  comforted  his  peo})le,  and 
Avill  have  mercy  upon  his  afflicted. 

]Jut  Zion  said.  The  Lord  hath  forsaken  me,  and  my  Lord  iiath 
forgotten  me. 

Can  a  woman  forget  hor  sucking  child,  that  she  should  not  liave 
compassion  on  the  son  of  her  womb  ?  yea,  they  may  forget,  yet  will 
I  not  forget  the(\ 

JJehold,  I  have  graven  thee  upon  the  palms  of  my  hands  ;  thy  walls 
arc  continually  bt'Tore  me. 

Thy  childnMi  shall  make  haste  ;  thy  destroyers  and  they  that  made 
thee  waste  shall  go  forth  of  thee. 


.MIIS.    MAIIY     j;ilAI»LKY 


117 


nmb  to  bo 
.el  bo  not 
d,  and  my 

ny  servant, 
lof  Israel : 
mayest  bo 

[loly  One, 

borrelb,  to 

shall  wor- 

^ne  of  Is- 

1  thee,  and 
5erve  thee, 
le  earth,  to 

sm  that  arc 
ways,  and 

It  nor  sun 
hem,  even 

vays  shall 

the  north 

brtli  into 
:!oj)le,  and 

jord  iialh 

not  have 

t,  yet  will 

thy  walls 
hat  made 


Lift  up  thine  eyes  round  about,  and  behold:  all  these  {father 
themselves  tojielher,  and  como  to  thee.  As  I  live,  saith  the  Lord, 
thou  shall  surely  clothe  thee  with  th(Mn  all,  as  with  an  oriMineut, 
and  hind  thom  on  thee,  as  a  bri«le  doelh. 

For  thy  waste  and  thy  desolute  [daces,  juid  the  land  of  thy  de- 
struction, shall  ov!'M  now  1)0  too  narrow  by  reason  of  the  inhabitants, 
and  they  that  swallowed  thee  up  shall  be  far  away. 

The  children  whicli  thou  shalt  htive,  after  thou  hast  lost  the  other, 
shall  say  apain  in  thine  ears.  The  place  is  too  strait  for  me  :  give 
])!ace  to  me  that  I  may  dwell. 

Then  shalt  thou  say  in  thine  lieart.  Who  liath  bonroften  mo  these, 
seeinjjf  I  have  lost  my  children,  and  am  dosolatf,  a  captive,  and  re- 
moving lo  and  fro  '  and  who  hath  brought  up  these  ?  Behold  1  was 
left  alone;  these,  where  had  they  been  ? 

Tiius  saith  the  Lord  God,  Behold,  I  will  lift  up  mine  hand  to  the 
Gentiles,  and  set  up  my  standard  to  the  peo()le :  and  they  shall 
bring  thy  suns  in  theii-  arms,  and  thy  daughters  shall  be  carried  upon 
their  shoulders. 

And  kings  shall  be  thy  nursing  fathers,  and  their  queens  thy  nurs- 
ing mothers:  they  shall  bow  down  to  thee  witii  their  face  toward 
the  earth,  and  lick  up  the  dust  of  thy  feet;  and  thou  shalt  know  that 
I  am  the  Lord :  for  they  shall  not  be  ashamed  that  wait  for  me. 

Chapter  ~A. — Sing,  ()  barren,  thou  that  didst  not  bear;  break 
forth  into  singing,  and  cry  aloud,  thou  that  didst  not  travail  with 
child:  for  more  arc  the  children  of  the  desolate  than  the  child.enof 
the  married  wife,  saith  the  Ijord. 

Knlarge  the  place  of  thy  tent,  and  let  them  stretch  forth  the  cur- 
tains of  thine  habitations;  spare  not,  lengthen  thy  cords,  and 
strengthen  thy  stakes  ; 

For  thou  shalt  break  forth  on  the  right  hand  and  on  the  left;  and 
thy  seed  shall  inherit  the  Gentiles,  and  make  the  desolate  cities  to 
be  inhabited. 

I'oar  not ;  for  thou  shalt  not  bo  ashamed:  neither  be  thou  con- 
founded ;  for  thou  shalt  not  be  put  to  shame  :  for  thou  shalt  forget  the 
shame  of  thy  youth,  and  shalt  not  remember  the  reproach 'of  thy 
wi  owhood  any  more. 

For  thy  maker  is  thine  husband  :  The  Lord  of  hosts  is  his  name  ; 
nnd  thy  Redeemer  the  Holy  One  of  Israel;  The  God  of  the  whole' 
earth  shall  he  be  called. 


(;s 


LlKl']    AND    EXl'liUIH.Nl'l':    OF 


For  the  Lord  hath  called  thee  as  a  woman  forsaken  and  grieved 
in  spirit,  and  a  wife  of  youth,  when  thou  wast  refused,  saith  thy 
God. 

For  a  small  moment  have  I  forsaken  thee  ;  but  witli  great  mer- 
cies will  I  gather  thee. 

In  a  little  wrath  I  hid  my  face  from  thee  for  a  moment ;  but  with 
everlasting  kindness  will  I  have  mercy  on  thee,  saith  the  Lord  thy 
Redeemer. 

For  this  is  as  the  waters  of  Noah  unto  me  :  for  as  I  have  sworn 
that  the  waters  of  Noah  should  no  more  go  over  the  earth  ;  so  have 
I  sworn  that  I  would  not  be  wroth  with  thee,  nor  rebuke  thee. 

For  the  mountains  shall  depart,  and  the  hills  be  removed;  but 
my  kindness  shall  not  depart  from  thee,  neither  shall  the  covenant 
of  my  peace  be  removed,  saith  the  Lord  that  hath  mercy  on  thee. 

O  thou  afflicted,  tossed  with  tempest,  and  not  comforted  !  behold, 
I  will  lay  thy  stones  with  fair  colours,  and  lay  thy  foundations  with 
sapphires. 

And  I  will  make  thy  windows  of  agates,  and  thy  gates  of  carbun- 
cles, and  all  thy  borders  of  pleasant  stones. 

And  all  thy  children  shall  be  taught  of  the  Lord;  andgreatshall 
be  the  peace  of  thy  children. 

In  righteousness  shall  thou  bo  established  :  thou  shalt  be  far  from 
oppression ;  for  thou  shalt  not  fear :  anu  from  terror ;  for  it  shall 
not  come  near  thee. 

Behold,  they  shall  surely  gather  together,  but  not  by  me:  who- 
soever shall  gather  together  against  thee  shall  fall  for  thy  sake. 

Uehold,  I  have  created  the  smith  that  bloweth  the  coals  in  the  fire, 
and  that  bringeth  forth  an  instrument  for  his  work  ;  and  I  have  cre- 
ated the  waster  to  destroy. 

No  weapon  that  is  formed  against  thee  shall  prosper ;  and  every 
tongue  that  shall  rise  against  thee  in  judgment  thou  shalt  condemn. 
This  is  the  heritage  of  the  servants  of  the  Lord,  and  their  righte- 
ousness is  of  me,  saith  the  Lord. 

Chapter  60. — Arise,  shine  ;  for  thy  light  is  come,  and  the  glory  of 
the  Lord  is  risen  upon  thee. 

For  bchol',  the  darkness  shall  cover  the  earth,  and  gross  darkn093 
the  people  :  but  the  Lord  shall  arise  upon  thee,  and  his  glory  shall 
be  seen  upon  thee. 


MKS.    MAKV    lillAbLKV. 


»;<j 


d  grieved 
,  saith  thy 

rreat  mer- 

;  but  with 
Lord  thy 

ave  sworn 
1 ;  so  have 
thee. 

lOved;  but 
3  covenant 
on  thee, 
d!  behold, 
uions  with 

of carbun- 

great  shall 

)e  far  from 
or  it  shall 

me :  who- 

sake. 
in  the  fire, 

have  cre- 

and  every 

condemn. 

eir  righte- 

le  glory  of 

3  darkness 
jlory  shall 


And  the  Gentiles  shall  come  to  thy  light,  and  kings  to  the  bright- 
ness of  thy  rising. 

Lift  up  thine  eyes  round  about,  and  tice :  all  thoy  gather  themselves 
together,  they  come  to  thee  :  thy  sons  shall  come  from  far,  and  thy 
da  :ghters  shall  be  nursed  at  thy  side. 

Then  thou  shalt  see,  and  flow  together,  and  thine  heart  shall  fear, 
and  be  enlarged  ;  because  the  abundance  of  the  sea  shall  be  con- 
verted unto  thee,  the  forces  of  the  Gentiles  shall  come  unto  thee. 

The  multitude  of  camels  shall  cover  thee,  the  dromedaries  of 
Midian  and  Ephah;  all  they  from  Sheba  shall  come:  they  shall 
bring  gold  and  incense  ;  and  they  shall  shew  forth  the  praises  ofth" 
Lord. 

AH  the  flocks  of  Kedar  sliall  be  gathered  together  unto  thee,  the 
rams  of  Nebaioth  shall  minister  unto  thee  :  they  shall  come  up  with 
acceptance  on  mine  altar,  and  I  will  glorify  the  house  of  my  glory. 

Who  are  these  that  fly  as  a  cloud,  and  as  the  doves  to  their  win- 
dows ? 

Surely  the  isles  shall  wait  for  mo,  and  the  ships  of  Tarshish  first, 
to  bring  thy  sons  from  far,  their  silver  and  their  gold  with  them, 
unto  the  name  of  the  Lord  thy  God,  and  to  the  Holy  One  of  Israel, 
because  he  hath  glorified  thee. 

And  the  sons  of  grangers  shall  build  up  thy  walls,  and  their  kings 
shall  minister  unto  thee  :  for  in  my  wrath  I  smote  thee,  but  in  my 
favour  have  I  had  mercy  on  thee. 

Therefore  thy  gates  shall  be  open  continually ;  they  shall  not  be 
shut  day  nor  night;  that  men  may  bring  unto  thee  the  forces  of  the 
Gentiles,  and  that  their  kings  may  be  brought. 

For  the  nation  and  kingdom  that  will  not  serve  thee  shall  perish  ; 
yea,  those  nations  simll  be  utterly  wasted. 

The  glory  of  Lebanon  shall  come  unto  thee,  the  fir-tree,  the  pine- 
tree,  and  the  box  together,  to  beautify  the  place  of  my  sanctuary; 
and  I  will  make  the  place  of  my  feet  glorious. 

The  sons  also  of  them  that  afllicted  thee  shall  come  bending  unto 
thee :  and  all  they  that  despised  thee  shall  bow  themselves  down  at 
the  soles  of  thy  feet ;  and  they  shall  call  thee,  The  city  of  the  Lord, 
The  Zion  of  the  Holy  One  of  Israel. 

Whereas  thou  hast  been  forsaken  and  hated,  so  that  no  man  went 


70 


MIT,    AND    EXPERIENCE   OP 


ii  ,    + 


throii<,'li  thno,  I  will  make  thee  an  eteriml  excellency,  a  joy  of  many 
generations. 

Tii.ju  sliult  also  Slick  the  milk  of  the  (Pontiles,  and  shalt  suck  the 
breast  of  kind's  :  and  thou  shalt  know  that  I  the  Lord  am  thy  Saviour 
and  t!iy  Ilodeenu'r,  the  Mijjhty  ()n(;  of  Jacob. 

For  brass  I  will  brin<j  jjohl,an(i  for  iron  I  will  bring  silver,  and  for 
wood  bras.s,  and  for  stones  iron  :  I  will  also  make  thy  officers  peace, 
and  thine  exactors  righteousness. 

Violence  shall  no  more  be  heard  in  thy  land,  wasting  nor  destruc- 
tion within  thy  borders  ;  but  thou  shalt  call  thy  walls  Salvation,  and 
tliy  gates  Praise. 

The  sun  shall  be  no  more  tliy  ligiit  by  day  :  neither  for  brigiitness 
shall  the  moon  give  light  unto  thee  :  but  the  Lord  shall  be  unto  thee 
an  everlasting  light,  and  thy  God  thy  glory. 

Thy  sun  shall  no  more  go  down  ;  neither  shall  thy  moon  witlidraw 
itself:  for  the  Lord  shall  be  thine  everlasting  light,  and  the  days  of 
thy  mourning  shall  be  ended. 

Thy  people  also  shall  be  all  righteous :  they  shall  inherit  the  land 
for  ever,  tiie  brancii  of  my  planting,  the  work  of  my  hands,  that  I 
may  be  glorified. 

A  little  one  shall  become  a  thousand,  and  a  small  one  a  strong 
nation:  I  the  Lord  will  hasten  it  in  hia  time. 

\Vhilc  reading  tlic  above,  and  many  other  chapters,  I 
was  greatly  conlirmed  in  my  ideas.  I  felt  my  heart 
greatly  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  my  fellow  mortals. 

Meditation  and  prayer,  and  reading  the  Scriptures,  was 
my  constant  employmont.  My  domestic  concerns  were 
little  hindcrance  to  me  ;  for  whatever  my  head  or  hands 
found  to  do,  my  heart  was  still  engaged  with  God.  I  \\ould 
look  hack  upon  past  experience,  and  admiringly  adore  his 
kind  hand  ;  wondering  why  such  things  were  revealed  to 
an  iminformed  youth.  I  would  look  forward  with  a  long;in2 
desire  for  their  consummation,  to  bless  the  world. 

As  promised  blessings  are  realized  by  faith  alone,  I  felt 
I  had  to  walk  by  faith  and  not  by  sight. 


iMllS.    MAKY    l:UAl)LCy 


71 


of  many 

suck  tlic 
I  Saviour 

r,  and  for 
rs  peace, 

destruc- 
ition,  and 

rifjlitness 
unto  tlioo 

vvitlidraw 
e  days  of 

t  the  land 
ds,  that  I 


a  strong 


,pters,  I 
y  heart 


res,  was 

IS  were 

hands 

.  w  ould 

ore  his 

alcd  to 

lon^i^hi;]; 

o     o 

2,  I  felt 


I  strove  to  liide  my  mental  conflict  by  pntting  on  a  cheer- 
ful countenance,  and  maintaining  an  even  deportment  be- 
fore the  familv ;  but  as  soon  as  I  could  be  alone  I  would 
give  vent  to  my  feeling-,  and  with  cries  and  tears  lift 
up  my  heart  to  the  Lord,  pleaduig  with  him  to  complete 
his  work,  and  to  have  mercy  upon  poor  sinners.  If  I  heard 
any  one  speak  an  unkind  word  against  any  other  person,  I 
would  feel  grieved  in  si)irit,  and  tliink  perhaps  that  person 
will  yet  be  one  of  those  who  will  be  stripped  of  filtliy  gar- 
ments, and  clothed  with  the  robes  of  grace,  abounding  to 
the  chief  of  sinners.  Tliinking  that  all  things  were  pos- 
sible with  him,  I  would  })ray  earnestly  that  it  might  be  so. 
I  looked  upon  them  with  love  and  pity.  I  thought,  let 
them  be  ever  so  wicked,  they  are  as  good  by  nature  as 
myself:  and  God  has  chanircd  mv  heart,  and  he  is  as  will- 
ing  and  able  to  change  theirs  also.  Then  they  would  be 
lovely  in  his  eyes.  O  how  I  longed  to  see  poor  prodigals 
return  !  Nothing  on  earth  did  I  desire  so  much  as  to  see 
sinners  repent  and  turn  to  the  Lord. 

I  was  greatly  encouraged  by  the  promises  of  God  to  pray 
and  not  to  faint ;  particularly  by  the  following  : 

"For  as  the  rain  cometh  down,  and  the  snow  from 
heaven,  and  returneth  not  thither  but  watereth  the  earth, 
and  maketh  it  brin^r  forth  and  bud,  that  it  mav  <iive  seed 
to  the  sower,  and  bread  to  the  cater  :  so  shall  my  word  be, 
that  goeth  forth  out  of  m}'  mouth  :  it  shall  not  return  unto 
me  void,  but  it  shall  accomplish  that  which  I  please,  and  it 
shall  prosj)er  in  the  thing  Avhereto  I  sent  it." 

"  If  ye  abide  in  me,  and  my  words  abide  in  you,  ye  shall 
ask  what  vc  will,  and  it  shall  be  done  unto  vou."  "  All 
things  are  possible  to  him  that  bclieveth."  "  Stand  still 
and  see  the  salvation  of  God." 


72 


LIFE    AND    EXFEKIENCE   01' 


The  promises  flo^vc(l  with  such  sweetness  and  force  into 
iny  mind,  tliat  I  was  daily  expecting  their  accomplishment. 
1  felt  a  delight  in  conversing  upon  religious  subjects.  The 
things  of  the  world  were  little  more  to  me  than  a  bubble. 
I  thought  time  short  and  eternity  near. 

I  looked  upon  my  young  companions  with  pity,  and  in- 
stead of  being  tempted  to  join  them  in  their  vain  amuse- 
ments, I  loathed  and  abhorred  it.  I  felt  a  great  desire  to 
enjoy  the  means  of  grace,  which  in  ray  present  situation, 
though  a  member  of  the  church,  I  could  do  but  seldom,  by 
reason  of  living  at  so  great  a  distance,  being  seven  or  eight 
miles.  I  heard  of  an  intimate  acquaintance  of  our  family 
being  sick,  and  in  want  of  a  person  to  nurse  and  manage 
her  affairs,  who  lived  near  to  the  meeting  house.  I  im- 
mediately thought  I  would  go,  and  named  it  to  my 
eldest  sister,  who  was  pleased  at  the  idea,  saying  I  might 
be  spared,  when  I  obtained  my  mother's  consent.  I  was 
shortly  after  engaged  to  go.  I  left  my  father's  house  in 
Gage  town,  nnd  went  to  SheiReld,  on  the  twenty-seventh 
day  of  March,  in  the  eighteenth  year  of  my  age.  I  first 
went  to  the  meeting,  and  from  thence  to  fulfil  my  engage- 
ment ;  but  as  soon  as  I  started,  a  dark  cloud  came  over 
my  mind,  like  the  darkness  of  Egypt,  which  might  be  felt. 
However,  thinking  my  motives  were  pure,  it  did  not  dis- 
courage me  ;  for  at  some  future  period,  for  wise  purposes, 
I  might  see  it  was  the  hand  of  the  Lord  which  had  direct- 
ed me  in  this  movement.  Therefore  I  cheerfully  entered 
upon  my  service  with  this  consolation,  I  could  attcLd  the 
house  of  God,  and  hear  the  gospel  preached  ;  which  was 
sweeter  to  me  than  honey  and  the  honey  comb.  The  peo- 
ple with  whom  I  lived  were  kind  and  affectionate,  and  al- 
lowed me  every  privilege  I  could  expect  or  wish.     My 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLFA'. 


'3 


CO  into 
hmcnt. 
3.  The 
bubble. 

and  in- 
amuse- 
esire  to 
;uation, 
iom,by 
or  eight 
'  family 
manage 
I  im- 
to  my 
I  might 
I  was 
lOuse  in 
seventh 
I  first 
engage- 
le  over 
)e  felt, 
not  dis- 
irposes, 
direct- 
entered 
dthe 
ch  was 
he  peo- 
and  al- 
My 


Bl 


labor  was  hard  ;  bat  I  bless  God,  he  gave  nic  strcnL'th 
according  to  mv  dav,  and  I  was  contented  and  thankful 
for  such  a  comfortable  home,  and  the  privileges  I  enjoyed. 
My  constant  rule  was  to  rise  early  in  the  morning,  that  I 
might  have  time  to  read  a  chapter  in  the  l>ible,  and  ^r 
private  prayer  before  the  duties  of  the  day  commenced. 

The  state  of  mv  mind  became  graduallv  ditlercnt  from 
what  it  was  before  I  left  home.  I  did  not  eiijov  so  much 
of  the  life  and  power  of  religion,  nor  that  constant  tender- 
ness for  the  souls  of  my  fellows,  and  there  seemed  to  be 
more  care  devolve  upon  mc  in  the  discharge  of  my  tempo- 
ral duties,  than  when  at  home  ;  but  still  I  did  not  lose  sight 
of  the  great  end  in  view.  I  longed  for  a  revival  of  reli- 
gion to  take  place  in  my  own  soul,  and  in  the  souls  of 
others. 

No  marks  of  it  yet  appeared.  Preaching  produced  lit- 
tle eifect  upon  the  i)eople.  I  was  determined  from  my  first 
setting  out  in  th'  j;ood  way,  to  slum  the  com[)any  of  those 
who  might  provi  i  snare  to  me,  and  I  still  felt  the  same 
resolution.  I  W'  ild  introduce  religious  subjects  to  tliose 
with  whom  I  conversed  ;  but  it  seemed  to  be  labor  spent  in 
vain. 

I  strove  to  maintain  humbling  views  of  myself,  and 
watched  the  motions  of  my  depraved  nature,  and  if  the 
pride  of  dress  began  to  devolope  itself — for  I  thought  a 
proud  heart  was  an  abomination  in  the  sight  of  the  Lord  — 
I  would  desist  from  wearing  whatever  would  serve  as  a 
prop  to  my  pride  and  selfflattery.  It  was  my  desire  to 
walk  in  the  strait  and  narrow  way,  laid  down  by  my  Sa- 
vior ;  and  although  I  did  not  enjoy  so  much  of  his  i)rcsence, 
I  could  rely  upon  his  promises,  and  })ut  my  whole   trust 

and  confidence  in  him.     I  continued  to  long  for  the  spread 
7* 


i 


74 


MKS.    MAKY    I3RADLEY. 


of  liis  kingdom.  There  appeared  to  be  great  dcadness 
among  professors  of  religion.  I  thought  they  did  not  en- 
joy its  life  and  power.  They  were  so  much  taken  up  with 
the  world,  they  had  little  time  for  religious  conversation. 
I  would  pray,  0  Lord  pour  out  of  thy  Spirit  upon  the  people 
of  Sheffield.  0  that  our  church  would  arise  and  shine, 
that  Zion  might  put  on  her  beautiful  garments.  I  mourned 
because  I  did  not  feel  that  sweet  union  with  vay  brothers 
and  sisters,  which  I  thought  ought  to  be  felt,  and  was  our 
great  privilege  ;  but  above  all  we  did  not  love  God  as  we 
ought.  I  would  exclaim  in  the  language  of  the  prophet, 
*'  0  that  my  head  were  waters,  and  my  eyes  a  fountain  of 
tears,  that  I  might  weep  day  and  night  for  the  daughters 
of  my  people." 


U 


CHAPTER    VIII. 


A  RiiiniiTER  day  now  appeared  to  dawn.  The  congre- 
gation, and  people  generally,  were  greatly  delighted  with 
the  minister,  and  came  far  and  near  to  hear  him  ;  and  he 
was  greatly  extolled  for  his  abilities.  The  church  had 
been  destitute  of  a  minister  for  nine  or  ten  years  pre- 
vious. No  wonder,  therefore,  their  hearts  should  rejoice, 
in  prospect  of  the  means  of  grace.  They  settled  a  yearly 
salary  upon  him,  and  he  became  their  minister. 

However,  their  joy  was  of  short  duration,  for  there 
soon  appeared  in  him  the  habit  which  was  prevalent  at 
the  time  —  the  use  of  strong  drink  —  and  a  train  of  things 
which  occasioned  altercation  among  the  people ;  some  en- 
deavoring to  conceal,  and  others  to  bring  to  light  what 
they  conceived  to  be  improper.  A  long  time  of  strife 
elapsed,  before  a  decision  could  be  arrived  at,  and  the 
minister  removed.  During  the  delays  and  suspense  of 
matters  in  the  church,  glad  tidings  which  rejoiced  my 
heart,  reached  my  ears.  Mr.  Bishop,  a  Methodist  minis- 
ter, had  arrived,  and  there  was  a  great  reformation  among 
the  people.  I  was  immediately  filled  with  high  expecta- 
tions, and  longed  to  see  him.  At  length  the  day  arrived. 
"We  heard  in  the  morning,  he  was  to  call  that  day ;  and 
when  he  came,  I  was  much  struck  with  his  appearance. 

75 


76 


LIFE   AND    EXPERTKXCE   OF 


lie  fippoiiited  mcctin^i^  that  afternoon,  in  the  con^^rcga- 
tional  njeeling house  ;  the  text  was,  ''  Is  it  well  ^ith  thee? 
is  it  well  witli  tliy  liusband  'i  is  it  ^Yell  Nvilli  the  child  ? 
And  she  said,  It  is  Avell." 

I  experienced  nothing  special  under  the  sermon.  lie 
appointed  another  meeting  in  the  evening,  at  a  private 
Iiouse,  abo\it  a  mile  further  down  the  river.  I  also  went, 
thinknig  I  coidd  not  be  denied  a  blessing.  I  was  praving 
as  1  went  along,  that  the  Lord  would  revive  his  Avork  in 
my  soul.  I  said,  "  U  Lord,  1  beseech  thee,  show  me  thy 
glory."  There  seemed  to  be  an  echo  to  my  petitions,  imd 
Scripture  truth  applied. 

That  evening,  after  the  sermon,  for  the  first  time,  I 
heard  several  young  converts  tell  their  experience.  I  was 
highly  gratified  to  heai*  them.  I  wanted  a  resurrection 
in  my  own  soul,  and  then  our  S})irits  would  unite  and  run 
together  as  the  heart  of  one.  When  the  meeting  was 
concluded,  ]Mr.  Bishop  appointed  a  prayer  meeting  next 


mornmg. 


This  was  the  first  time  I  ever  heard  of  a  prayer  meet- 
ing. When  I  entered  the  meeting,  a  female  was  })raying, 
which  was  the  first  female  I  ever  heard  ])ray  in  public,  in 
all  my  life.  I  thought  it  was  remarkable.  It  came  to 
my  mind  that  I  should  take  up  my  cross,  when  she  was 
dene,  and  pray.  I  shrunk  at  the  idea,  and  thought  I 
could  not;  but  it  occurred  to  mv  mind  I  wanted  a  bless- 
ing,  and  if  I  embraced  this  opportunity  I  might  obtain 
it.  When  she  stopped,  I  commenced  ;  and  Avhen  prayer 
was  over,  and  I  arose  upon  my  feet,  I  instantly  fell  to  the 
floor.  I  had  such  an  awiul  sense  of  the  presence  of  God, 
that  I  vras  struck  speechless,  and  all  my  strength  left  me. 
I  was  tak^n  up  and  laid  upon  the  bed.     I  could  not  draw 


I 


I 


MK.S.    MAUV     IJKAULI.V. 


<  < 


tlicc? 
child  ? 

.     IIo 

)rivutc 
»  went, 
iriiyiii;^ 
ork  in 
me  tliy 
fis,  iMid 

time,  I 

I  was 

Tcction 

nd  run 

g  next 

meet- 
aying, 
jlic,  in 
[\me  to 
le  "was 
i-ht  I 

bless- 
obtaia 
prayer 

to  the 
■of  Gud, 

ft  me. 
t  draw 


a  breath  without  a  lieavy  groan.  The  holiness  of  God, 
the  purity  of  his  Word  and  righteous  h'\w,  and  tho  obe- 
dicnec  he  rei{uired  of  liis  people,  appeared  like  a  flame 
of  tire  to  my  soul.  Then  several  persons,  and  duties, 
were  brouglit  before  me,  while  I  lay  upon  the  bed,  before 
I  could  speak  ;  which  I  will  relate,  by  divine  assistance, 
as  correctly  as  possible. 

The  first  person  who  appeared  was  D.  M.,  to  whom  I 
was  solemnly  engaged  in  matrimony. 

The  second  was  G.  15.,  my  brother-in-law,  Avhora  I  had 
sometime  previously  offended.  IlimsrT  and  the  cause  of 
the  offence  were  brought  to  view,  and  1  felt  it  my  duty 
to  acknowledge  mv  fault  to  him. 

The  third  were  the  elders  of  the  church  to  which  I  bo- 
longed,  that  I  should  meet  them,  and  testify  to  them  tho 
mysterious  part  of  my  experience  recorded  in  this  narra- 
tive. 

The  fourth  was  my  father's  family,  that  I  should  relate 
to  tl.cm  tlic  gracious  dealings  of  God  to  my  soul,  and 
warn  them  to  prepare  to  meet  him. 

Those  four  separate  objects,  each  one  appeared  at  a 
breath,  and  was  gone,  and  gave  place  for  another.  My 
breathings  were  very  long,  and  every  object  brought  a 
severe  pain  in  my  heart,  which  caused  me  to  groan 
heavily.  Afte:*  these  sensations  passed  over,  my  mind  set- 
tled upon  the  church,  which  I  saw  to  be  in  a  cold  and  life- 
less state,  destitute  of  the  power  of  religion. 

After  a  while  my  mind  became  entirely  settled,  and  my 
distress  by  degrees  abated,  until  I  could  breathe  quite 
easily.  Then  I  spoke  to  Mrs.  L.,  and  told  her  I  wanted 
to  see  Mr.  B.,  my  brother-in-law.  She  went  to  inform 
the  people  where  I  lived  ;  but  Mr.  M.came  first,  to  whom  I 


7« 


lai'K   AND    EXJ'ErUKNOE   OF 


related  tlic  state  of  my  niiiul ;  rc<iuo.stlii.L^  to  sec  my  l)rot]»cr 
and  the  cMei.s  of  tlic  cliurch.  My  ln'otlior  camo  tlio 
evt'iiiiig  after,  to  wliom  1  iimne(liatoIy  wkl  wkdged  my 
fault.  (The  circuinstaiiceM  of  wliicli  were,  i  ^as  uric  day 
in  tlie  store  of  Mr.  II.  T.,  at  Mau;;erville,  in  euni[)any 
with  Mrs.  S.,  one  of  the  senior  inein'ters  of  the  churcli, 
who  advised  me  to  get  a  cap,  as  tliosc  of  my  age  Avore. 
I  replied,  I  am  afraid  it  would  not  be  ri,:i;lit,  as  I  was  u 
])rofessor  of  religion,  and  perhaps  it  would  give  ortencc. 
IShe  said  it  would  not  olVend  her,  and  it  was  what  I  ought 
to  have.  iJeing  thus  prevailed  upon,  I  obtained  the  arti- 
cle, but  did  not  feel  satisfied  ;  thinking  it  was  following 
too  much  the  fashion  of  the  world,  and  that  I  could  not 
bear  to  see  mvself  in  it.  llowevcr,  at  len;rth  ^oiiii;  to 
visit  my  sister  at  Maugerville,  and  the  weather  very  cold, 
I  Avore  my  cap.  Uut  as  my  brother  was  very  ])ious, 
and  ready  to  reprove,  and  my  conscience  accused  me,  .1 
feared  all  the  way  what  he  would  sav  to  me.  AVlicn  I 
came  to  the  house,  my  brother  after  a  while  entered  ;  but 
he  did  not  receive  me  in  the  same  welcome,  friendly  man- 
ner as  usual,  but  said  to  me,  ''  What  is  that  on  your 
liead  ?  "  —  turned  from  me,  and  Avent  out.  My  sister 
said  to  me,  "  You  had  better  lay  it  by,  for  Mr.  J],  is 
much  disjileased  to  see  it.  I  innncdiatcly  obeyed,  and 
entirely  abandoned  it :  neither  did  mv  brother  sav  any 
more  to  me  about  it.)  I  said  I  was  sorry,  and  hojied  ho 
AYould  forgive  me.  He  appeared  quite  aftccted  and  aftee- 
tionate,  and  said  he  would  take  me  home  ;  but  I  said  I 
feared  I  Avas  too  Aveak  to  endure  the  ride.  He  said  1 
must  go,  "  for  the  elders  of  the  church  are  to  meet  this 
evening  to  hear  Avhat  you  have  to  say."  When  I  heard 
that,  1  felt  quite  revived;  and  even   the  opening  of  my 


MRS.  MAuv  im\r»r,KV. 


70 


mau- 

your 

sister 

W.   is 

,  ami 

;  any 

iC'l  ho 

atVec- 

sald   I 

said   I 

;t  thi:^ 

he  a  I'd 

of  luv 


.* 

i 


rninrl,  aii<l  (hseliar;,Mni;  my  <hity  to  my  hrotlicr,  was  a  .i^roat 
rcliof.  1  felt  truly  tliaiikful  to  (5<»<1,  hv  whoso  kin<l  jirovi- 
iloiR'o  a  way  was  oponed  lor  the  (li-cliaru'''  ol'  my  duty, 
and  the  relief  nf  my  mind. 

\VheH  1  eaini'  home,  I  toun<l  the  persons  wore  assem- 
Ided,  according;  to  my  desire.  [  endeavored  to  deliver 
tho  messairc  to  them  which  I  considered  I  had  received 
from  (iod,  in  tho  best  manner  I  could.  1  had  l)een  taking 
a  survey  of  my  jiast  exiierience  ;  com|  arini;  it  with  njy 
present  state.  I  felt  it  was  the  same  spirit,  hut  ditVerent 
operation.  I  tho»iu'ht  when  I  came  to  tell  the  mighty 
<lealings  of  (iod  with  my  soul,  tliey  wuuld  lielieve,  and 
sec  eye  to  eye.  I  felt  a  great  hope,  that  (J(jd  was  going 
to  pour  out  his  Holy  Spirit  upon  the  church,  and  cause  a 
blessed  revival  to  take  place.  I  longed  for  the  beginning 
of  good  times,  and  for  tho  set  time  to  favor  Zion.  I  was 
in  great  expectation  that  the  glorious  day  was  just  at 
hand.  I  felt  my  mind  entirely  taken  up  with  those  ideas. 
I  soon  found  when  1  beiian  to  relate  those  thing's  which 
had  caused  me  to  hope  and  feel  so  much  interest  in  their 
welfare,  some  of  the  church  evidently  showed  a  hard 
spirit  against  me.  A  deacon  said  ho  did  not  believe  me. 
Another  replied,  what  I  saiil  was  next  to  blasphemy. 
Another  took  my  part,  and  put  them  in  mind  of  Gideon 
and  the  fleece,  —  Jiuhjes  G  and  o7  — and  other  passages 
of  Scripture,  which  corresponded  with  what  I  had  rela- 
ted. Notwithstanding  some  favored  my  cause,  yet  I  was 
much  confused,  being  scrupled  in  such  a  way  by  tho  lead- 
ing members  of  tho  church  ;  though  their  unbelief  respect- 
ing what  I  had  experienced,  as  stated,  did  not  much  affect 
my  mind ;  yet  it  seemed  as  if  ihc  ,'o!dnes3  of  their  hearts 
clave  to  me  —  my  spirit  was  wounded  —  a  chilling  weak- 


80 


Ml'i;    AM)    liXI'LlilKN't'K    <'I 


iicss  seized  my  nerves  —  I  felt  {tressed  as  a  cart  beneath 
its  sheaves.  In  a  short  time  I  went  to  my  father's,  and  en- 
joyed an  oi)j)ortunity  of  conversing  with  the  family,  who 
received  me  kindly,  and  were  attentive  to  what  I  said  to 
them.  Having  thus  discharged  my  duty,  I  felt  much  re- 
vived both  in  body  and  mind,  and  returned  to  my  place. 
I  soon  found,  from  the  concern  I  felt  for  the  church,  which 
lay  heavy  upon  my  mind,  that  my  work  was  not  done.  I 
daily  searched  the  Scriptures,  and  prayed  to  Almighty  God 
to  show  me  his  will. 

At  length  it  was  impressed  upon  my  mind,  to  go  to  the 
meeting  and  read  part  of  the  first  and  twenty-eighth  chap- 
ters of  Isaiah's  prophecy  ;  but  the  cross  was  so  heavy  I 
flinched  from  it,  and  thought  if  I  did  so,  the  whole  place 
would  be  in  arms  against  me ;  but  the  Word  of  God  came 
with  such  power  to  show  mc  that  it  was  his  will  I  should 
go  and  do  that  which  was  impressed  upon  ray  mind,  and 
encouraged  me  that  if  I  were  obedient,  I  should  eat  the  good 
of  the  land ;  and  if  not,  I  should  die  by  the  sword.  Those 
words  pierced  my  heart,  and  increased  my  distress.  I 
knew  that  female  exertions  in  a  public  way,  were  counted 
unscriptural :  "  That  it  was  a  shame  for  a  woman  to  speak 
in  the  church."  Though  the  apostle  undoubtedly  meant 
that  they  should  not  dictate  or  rule  in  the  church,  yet  he 
could  not  have  intended  their  exclusion  from  usefulness  in 
the  church,  for  in  the  apostolic  age  women  prophesied. 
When  my  mind  was  drawn  to  yield  obedience,  the  sayings 
of  men  would  rise  up  against  me,  and  my  fleshly  mind 
would  be  mortified.  Then  I  felt  the  truth  of  those  words  : 
"  The  flesh  striveth  against  the  spirit,  and  the  spirit  against 
the  flesh."  I  said  in  my  heart,  God  hath  dealt  with  me 
in  a  remakable  way  from  the  first ;  and  who  was  I,  that  I 


?* 


MRS.  MARY  BRADLEY. 


81 


licss  in 
lesiecl. 

layings 
mind 

rords : 
iffainst 
th  me 
[that  T 


should  reply  a,a:ainst  liim  ?  These  words  woiild  be  contin- 
ually answeriut;  every  ohjection  :  '•  For  this  cause,  I  have 
raised  thee  up.'' 

I  thereiore  concluded  it  was  for  some  Avise  purpose  God 
had  raised  me  up  and  tlms  doalt  witli  me.  I  called  to  mind 
the  awful  sense  1  had  of  the  Almi;j;hty  ^vhen  I  fell  to  the 
floor.  Then  his  tenor  made  me  afraid.  I  would  call  to 
mind  the  situation  in  which  1  saw  that  people  the  same  day 
I  joined  thorn.  After  many  hard  stru;T^ies  I  went  to  the 
meetin.^  ;  hut  the  distress  I  underwent  durin;^  the  time  of 
service,  is  beyond  description.  The  deep  impression  to 
obe;' the  commands  ;  the  solemn  truths  ^\liich  they  con- 
tained, and  my  awful  accoimtability  ;  the  fear  of  man,  and 
the  fear  I  should  not  succeed,  were  sensations  all  operating 
upon  my  mind  at  once.  When  the  meeting  was  concluded 
1  rose  up,  asking  liberty  to  read  the  chapters.  The  min- 
ister luH-ried  out ;  but  the  congregation  remained  until  I 
was  done.  What  a  happy  relief  did  1  experience  while  I 
was  reading  —  my  sorrow  was  turned  into  joy,  my  pain 
into  pleasure,  my  troubled  sea  into  a  calm  !  I  felt  the 
peace  and  love  of  (Jod  flow  into  my  soul ;  which  was 
sweeter  than  honey.      Gratitude  filled  my  heart  —  my 

streniith  was  renewed  —  1  cared   not  for  the  frowns,  nor 

'  .  .  . 

the  flatteries  of  this  world.     All   my  desire   was  to  know 

and  to  do  the  will  of  my  Father  which  is  in  heaven,  (tlory 

to  his  holy  name,  1  felt  him  supporting  and  comforting  me 

continually. 

I  returned  home   with  my  brother  that  evening,  who 

took  me  in  a  stage  to  my  father's,  where  1  enjoyed  another 

opportunity  of  conversing   with   the  family  ujion  religion, 

which  was  all  my  delight.     In  the  course   of  the  winter, 

those  of  our  family  who  had  before  experienced  religion, 

8 


62 


LIFE    A.ND    EXPEKIIlNCi;    Of 


were  greatly  revived,  and  the  roraainiiig  part  were  con- 
verted. Four  of  them  found  peace  in  one  meeting,  two 
brothers  and  two  sisters,  and  another  brother  was  arrested 
by  strong  convictions  of  his  sinful  state,  but  did  not  obtain 
an  evidence  of  his  acceptance  wiih  God,  by  faith  in  our 
Lord  Jesus  Christ. 

O  !  what  happiness  did  I  enjoy.  Our  house  was  like  a 
little  church,  each  one  striving  to  walk  m  the  strait  and 
narrow  path  which  leadeth  unto  eternal  life.  I  retained 
an  anxious  concern  for  the  people  with  whom  i  was  united. 
My  heart  was  knit  to  them,  and  I  greatly  longed  hr  their 
salvation. 

At  length  I  was  made  sensible  of  another  duty,  which 
I  ought  to  perform .  I  was  convinced  I  was  not  in  the 
way  of  my  duty  in  concealing  it,  and  when  I  had  an  op- 
portunity to  open  my  mind  to  Mr.  M.,  I  requested  him  to 
acquaint  the  elders  that  I  had  something  of  importance  to 
relate  to  them,  and  to  request  them  to  warn  Mr.  T.  T.  to 
appear  before  me,  in  their  presence,  that  I  might  de- 
clare before  his  face  the  base  design  manifested  by  him  to 
injure  me. 

My  request  was  complied  with  by  the  ciders.  Mr.  T. 
T.  refused  accountability  to  tlie  church  —  would  not  meet 
me  —  hastily  threw  himself  into  the  arms  of  the  Church  of 
England  —  commenced  reading  church  service  —  contin- 
ued to  occupy  the  parsonage  for  that  purpose  —  which  had 
been  erected  for  the  double  purpose  of  dwelling  and  meet- 
ing house.  A  few  of  tlic  church  jicople,  who  lived  near, 
met  at  first.  The  proprietors  were  put  to  great  trouble  — 
had  to  retire  to  a  private  house  —  at  length  got  possession 
again.  Mr.  T.  T.  was  much  disgraced  —  glad  to  get  away 
—  and  left  the  country  entirely. 


MRS.    MARV     BRADLEY. 


83 


•.  T. 

kneet 
•h  of 

lutin- 
liad 
leet- 
>ear, 

10  — 

Bsion 
way 


1  returned  acrain  to  my  father's  house,  where  1  contin- 
ued  for  several  weeks.  My  mind  was  solemnly  engaged 
in  reading,  meditation,  prayer,  and  reHgious  conversation, 
which  was  all  my  delight,  I  thought,  if  it  were  customary 
for  femalos  to  preach  th'C  gospel,  how  gladly  would  I  en- 
gage in  the  employment.  I  truly  felt  a  missionary  spirit. 
O,  ln)w  i  longed  to  preach  salvation  to  a  dying  world,  and 
tell  of  the  wonders  of  redeeming  grace  and  dving  luve  — 
to  invite  precious  souls  to  seek  the  Savior's  grace  ;  to 
•^varn  them  to  flee  from  the  v<rath  to  come,  and  lay  hold 
on  eternal  lite.  To  tell  them  of  the  miseries  of  those,  who 
die  in  their  sins ;  how  they  will  he  lifting  up  their  eyes  in 
:torment,  crying  like  Dives  for  a  drop  of  water  to  cool  their 
tongues.  O  how  was  my  heart  jmined  to  see  so  many  of 
my  poor  fellow  creature?  slighting  a  Savior's  love,  who  so 
freely  laid  down  his  life  to  procure  their  pardon,  who  are  go- 
ing down  to  their  graves  in  blindness  and  sin,  feeding  upon 
the  vanities  of  this  world,  obeying  the  voice  of  Satan,  rather 
than  the  voice  of  Ood ;  to  tell  them  of  the  joys  of  heaven  ; 
the  happy  state  ef  the  righteous  both  in  this  world  and  that 
^vhich  is  to  come. 

(J  how  happy  are  the  saints  above,  who  have  come  up 
out  of  great  tribulation,  and  behold  the  fa/.'e  of  him  who 
sitteth  upon  the  throne  ;  who  hath  washed  us  from  our  sins 
in  his  own  blood,  and  made  ns  Kings  an'l  Priests  unto  God 
and  his  Father,  to  whom  be  glory  and  domiDJoii  for  ever 
•and  ever,  amen. 

I  thought .[  could  leave  all  that  was  dear  to  me,  to  be 
engaged  in  this  blessed  cause  ;  unwilling  that  any  soul 
should  miss  of  heaven,  and  be  banished  from  God,  for  ever 
and  ever.  It  was  little  I  could  do  :  yet  I  thought  at  some 
future  day,  God  by  his  providence  would  open  a  door,  and 
put  me  in  the  way  to  be  useful. 


CHAPTER    TX. 


pil 


d 


The  people  of  Sheffield  were  dear  to  me  as  the  apple  of 
mv  eye.  I  was  l)ourid  in  spirit  to  them.  It  Avas  my  con- 
stant prayer  that  God  would  visit  them  with  his  special 
blessini^.  That  he  woid<l  pour  out  his  holy  spirit  upon 
that  jlace,  and  raise  up  a  people  to  serve  him  and  walk  in 
his  holy  wavs. 

In  the  spring  I  returned  to  Sheffield  again,  where  I 
stayed  about  three  months. 

The  Rev.  ^[r.  Wm.  Black,  a  very  respectable  minister 
of  the  Wesleyan  body,  visited  us,  wlio  preached  once  in 
our  meetinp;  house ;  but  some  of  the  ruling  members  were 
so  mucli  against  it  that  he  did  not  preach  there  again.  0, 
I  thought,  in  what  a  sad  state  is  our  church,  to  shut 
their  dooi-s  against  the  means  of  grace. 

I  felt  much  for  the  rising  generation,  for  fear  their  minds 
should  be  prejudiced  against  the  gospel.  However,  sev- 
eral of  our  church  were  very  partial  to  jNIr.  IJlack,  and  en- 
tertained him  kindly,  and  opened  their  houses  for  him  for 
preaching,  where  the  young  people  flocked  together  to  hear 
him,  and  were  very  much  aiTictcd  under  his  preaching. 
Had  he  been  encouraged  by  the  parents  and  generally  re- 
ceived, no  doubt  but  there  would  have  been  a  glorious 
work.     He  soon  left  us,  and  the  good  work  seemed  to  die 


away. 


I  felt  much  discouraged. 


0,  how  I  lamented  their 

84 


inds 
scv- 
cn- 
1  for 
hear 


ling. 


re- 

hous 

die 

Iheir 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


85 


dreadful  state,  who  worn  professors  of  reli.crion,  and  at  the 
same  time  persecutors  of  its  life  and  power ;  respectable 
pillars  of  the  church,  for  years  praying  for  a  revival  of  re- 
ligion, and  now  that  the  Lord  is  passing  by,  because  he  doth 
not  first  come  in  at  our  door,  they  will  not  receive  him  ;  but 
sprak  disrosiiectt'uUy  of  iiis  work !  What  an  enemy  to 
reli^non  is  forjnality,  prejudice,  and  bigotry  !  This  is  a 
sufficient  M'iill  to  shut  the  Savior  out  of  the  hearts  of  any 
people.  I  thought,  we  arc  all  mcmbei'S  one  of  another,  and 
if  one  member  suffers,  all  the  rest  must  suffer  with  it ;  but 
if  tlie  b  jdy  be  in  a  sickly  state,  and  one  small  member  has 
to  saifer  the  pain  of  all  the  rest  of  the  members,  what  must 
be  the  suffering  state  of  that  member  ? 

\st  Corinthians,  rhnp.  12. — Now  concerning  spiritual  gifts,  breth- 
ren, I  would  not  have  you  ignorant. 

Ve  know  that  ye  were  Gentiles,  carried  away  unto  these  dumb 
idols,  even  as  ye  were  led. 

Wherefore  I  give  you  to  imderstand,  that  no  man  speaking  by  the 
Spirit  of  God,  calleth  Jesus  accursed  :  and  that  no  man  can  say  that 
Jesus  is  tlie  Lord,  but  by  the  Holy  Ghost. 

Now  there  are  diversities  of  gifts,  but  the  same  Spirit. 

And  there  are  differences  of  administrations,  but  the  same  Lord. 

And  there  are  diversities  of  operations,  but  it  is  the  same  God 
which  worketh  all  in  all. 

But  the  manifestation  of  the  Spirit  ia  given  to  every  man  to  profit 
xvithal. 

For  to  one  is  given  by  the  Spirit  the  word  of  wisdom  ;  to  another, 
the  word  of  knowledge  by  the  same  Spirit ; 

To  an .  I  her,  faith  by  the  same  Spirit ;  to  another,  the  gif\s  of  heal- 
ing by  the  same  Spirit ; 

To  another,  the  working  of  miracles;  to  another,  prophecy;  to 
another,  discerning  of  spirits;  to  another,  divers  kinds  of  tongues; 
to  another,  the  interpretation  of  tongues. 

But  all  these  worketh  liiat  one  and  the  self-same  Spirit,  dividing 
to  every  man  severally  as  he  will. 
8* 


86 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIEXf'E   OF 


For  as  ilie  body  is  one,  and  hath  many  members,  and  all  the 
members  of  thai  one  lioijy,  bein"  many,  are  one  body  :  so  ulso  is 
Christ. 

For  by  one  Spirit  are  wo  all  baptized  into  one  body,  whetiinrwe 
be  Jews  or  G'  '111103,  whether  wv.  bo  bond  or  free;  and  have  been 
all  ni;ide  to  drink  into  one  Spirit. 

For  the  body  is  not  one  member,  b\it  many. 

If  the  foot  shall  say.  Because  I  am  not  Uie  hand,  I  am  not  of  the 
body  ;  is  it  therefore  not  of  the  body  ? 

And  if  the  ear  shall  say,  Becan.se  I  am  not  the  eye,  I  am  not  of 
the  body  ;  is  it  therefore  not  of  the  body  ? 

If  the  whole  body  were  an  eye,  where  were  the  hearing  ?  If  the 
whole  were  hearinjj,  where  were  the  smellinjr  ? 

But  now  hatii  (iod  set  the  members  every  one  of  them  in  tUo  body, 
as  it  hath  pleased  him. 

And  if  they  were  all  one  member,  where  were  the  body? 

But  now  are  they  many  members,  yet  but  cne  body. 

And  llie  eye  cannot  s;iy  unto  the  hand,  1  have  no  need  of  thee  ; 
nor  ajrain  the  head  to  the  feet,  I  have  no  need  of  you. 

Nay,  much  more  those  members  of  the  body,  which  seem  to  be 
more  feeble,  are  necessary  : 

And  those  members  of  tli .-  body,  which  we  tliink  to  be  less  hon- 
orable, upon  these  we  bestow  more  abundant  lionor ;  and  our  un- 
comely parts  have  more  abundant  comeliness. 

For  our  comely  parts  have  no  need :  but  God  hath  tempered  the 
body  together,  having  given  more  abundant  honor  to  that  part  which 
lacked  : 

That  there  should  be  no  schism  in  the  body  ;  but  that  the  members 
should  have  the  same  care  one  for  another. 

And  whether  one  member  suffer,  all  the  members  suffer  with  it  ; 
or  one  metnber  be  honored,  all  the  members  rejoice  with  it. 

Now  ye  are  the  body  of  Christ,  and  members  in  particular. 

And  God  hath  set  some  in  the  church,  first  apostles,  secondarily 
pro|)hets,  thirdly  teachers,  after  that  miracles,  then  gifts  of  heal- 
ings, helps,  governments,  diversities  of  tongues. 

Are  all  nposti'-  ?  rr;."  ail  prophets?  are  all  teachers?  are  all 
workers  of  miracjes  ? 


^i 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY, 


87 


ularily 
heal- 

lare  all 


I  !; 


■i 


i4 


i 

y 


Have  all  the  gifts  of  healing  ?  do  all  speak  with  tongues?  do  nil 
inlerpret ? 

IJiit  covet  (;arnoslly  the  best  gifts.  And  yet  show  I  unto  you  a 
more  excelient  way. 

If  there  be  not  a  constant  ciroilatlon  floAvin.c^  t]irou,ii;h  our 
veins,  we  cannot  enjoy  gootl  liealth  ;  aii'l  it"  their  be  a  stag- 
nation in  our  limbs,  we  lose  tlie  use  of  tliom  ;  so  Hkewiso 
if  the  Spirit  of  God  do  not  circulate  in  our  hearts,  we  can- 
not enjoy  siiiritual  health  ;  but  we  shall  grow  cold,  luke- 
warm, and  lifeless. 

If  faith  be  not  in  exercise,  and  we  do  not  enjoy  a  living 
union  to  Christ  the  living  vine,  we  cnnnot  bring  forth  fruit 
to  the  glorv  of  God. 

One  morning  I  awoke  in  great  heaviness  of  mind,  inso- 
much that  I  contiinied  longer  than  usual  in  my  room. 
Mrs.  S.  came  and  asked  me  the  cause  ;  to  whom  I  replied, 
it  was  distress  which  I  felt  for  their  chihlren,  and  the  rest 
of  the  neighbors.  I  felt  I  wanted  to  pour  out  my  soul  to 
God,  in  such  a  manner  as  I  had  never  done  before.  Prov- 
identially that  afternoon  Mr.  and  Mrs.  S.  were  both  from 
home,  and  there  was  living  with  her  sister  a  young  AvomTin 
who  a  few  weeks  previous  had  experienced  religion.  It 
came  luto  mv  mind  to  invite  her  to  come  over  and  bring 
11.  and  ]j.,  and  we  would  have  a  little  prayer  meeting  to- 
gether. Accordingly  she  did,  and  I  took  them  and  those 
of  our  own  family  who  Avere  at  home  into  my  room.  We 
all  kneeled  down  together,  six  in  number  at  the  comrn(»nce- 
ment.  I  was  enabled  to  pray  in  such  foitli  as  astonished 
me,  but  I  ^vas  more  astonished  when  I  realized  the  effect ; 
for  every  one  was  solemnly  engaged  lifting  up  their  voices 
in  prayer.  Shortly  after  there  came  in  two  young  women, 
who  were   cousins  to  those  who  were  present,  and  they 


fi 


8S 


l.niu   AND    EXPERIENCE   OK 


kneeled  down  likewise,  and  immediately  felt  the  same  en- 
ga;;edness.  After  them  came  in  two  of  Mr.  S.'s  sons,  who 
were  not  at  home  at  the  first.  They  also  kneeled  down 
and  lifted  up  their  voices  in  prayer,  and  continued  pray- 
ing until  Mr.  and  Mrs.  S.  came  home  in  the  evening. 
Five  of  them  found  peace  before  they  left  the  room.  My 
soul  was  much  comforted.  I  looked  upon  that  answer  to 
])rayer  as  a  token  of  fiiture  l)lessings,  and  encouragement 
to  be  more  faithful  to  the  calls  of  God.  Praise  God  for 
all  his  mercies. 

Sometime  after  I  had  another  opportunity  f^^  conversing 
with  the  ciders  of  the  church.  One  of  them  said  he  haC 
an  accusation  against  me  ;  but  before  I  had  an  opportunity 
of  answering  to  it,  another  said  it  was  a  false  report,  for  he 
had  traced  it  thoroughly.  I  felt  truly  thankful  to  God  for 
his  supporting  grace.  I  then  asked  them  \  hat  reason 
they  could  assign  for  not  receiving  Christ's  ministers  t 
The  senior  member  answered,  "  How  do  we  know  that 
they  arc  the  ministers  of  Christ  ?  "  and  added,  "  I  have 
not  sent  these  prophets,  yet  they  run."  I  was  sorry  to 
have  such  an  answer  from  one  who  was  a  well-wisher  to 
religion  ;  especially  as  the  Wesleyan  missionaries  had  been 
instrumental  in  doing  so  much  good,  and  bringing  so  many 
souls  to  God. 

I  then  asked  them  if  I  could  have  liberty  co  pray  in 
their  prayer  meetings  ;  but  they  refused,  saying  the  Scrip- 
tures forbid  females  praying  in  public.  I  made  this  re- 
quest on  purpose  to  ascertain  what  privileges  I  migl  t  ex- 
pect to  enjoy  among  them.  I  at  once  perceived  that  in 
order  to  hear  the  gospel  preached,  and  improve  my  own 
talents,  it  was  my  duty  to  withdraw  fro-m  their  church.  I 
had  felt  it  to  be  my  duty  to  join,  and  ha-d  endeavored  to 


H 


ho 
no 
atii 


to 


in 
np- 
Ire- 
|ex- 

in 
Iwn 
1 

to 


MRS.    MAIIY    BRADLEY. 


89 


be  laithfal  in  it  :  T  tlioroforo  informod  them  that  T  slionUl 
no  lon;:5or  consider  myself  a  moinher  of  it.  I  left  Sheffield 
and  retiirncd  to  m_v  f;ither\s  in  Ua'^etown. 

Not  Ion"  after  I  hml  resiirned  mvstandiii:j!;  in  connection 
Avith  the  C<)n:^re_i2;ational  clnirch,  a  Methodist  minister  made 
a  visit  to  iShelHeld,  during  which  a  nuinher  of  the  old  mem- 
bers separated  themselves  as  I  had  di)ne,  and  became 
members  of  the  new!  V  formed  Methodist  class;  besides  a 
number  of  the  youn,:^  people  Avho  had  recently  experienced 
relii^ion,  whom  I  encourai^ed  to  join  the  soeiety.  This 
was  the  nucleus  of  the  Methodist  church  in  that  place. 

ShclHeld  lias  licen  justly  celebrated  for  its  sobriety, 
re,L!;ular  habits,  respectability,  upright  deportment,  ami 
the  rL'li;^ion  of  its  inhabitants.  There  is  scarcely  a  family 
of  the  former  settlers,  but  some  of  its  branches  have  been 
united  with  the  Methodist  church. 

It  is  cause  of  reioieinL»;  that  the  two  Christian  denomina- 
tions  in  bhelKeld  have  for  so  manv  years  maintained  so  much 
good  feelin;^  and  real  candor  ;  and  that,  with  but  few  ex- 
ceptions, both  among  ministers  and  people  to  the  present 
dav. 

I  should  have  joined  the  society  lia<l  I  expected  to  re- 
main in  Sheffield.  I  was  rejoiced  to  hear  of  t!>eir  pros- 
perity, and  was  determined  to  become  a  member  as  soon 
as  Providence  should  oj)Ln  my  way  to  attenil  upon  their 
ministry  and  enjoy  their  communion.  1  endeavored  to 
walk  with  God,  and  to  ^n-'^  him  my  whole  heart ;  desiring 
to  be  directed  by  his  Vv'ord  and  Holy  Sjiirit,  and  to  watch 
and  pray  continually,  lest  I  sh(;uld  lose  the  enjoyment  of 
roliixion. 

I  felt  so  much  weaned  from  the  world  and  all  its  transi- 
tory enjoyments,  that  it  seemed  a  burden  to  look  forward 


00 


MRS.    MAKY     BllADliEY. 


and  enter  into  a  renewed  cnf];agcraent  in  its  concerns.  I 
sliould  have  been  «^lad  could  I  have  been  exeinptod  from 
the  task,  but  as  1  could  not  fall  back  from  my  enga-^ement, 
1  therefore  strove  to  submit  to  the  will  of  God,  who  ordevs 
all  tliin-is  for  the  good  of  those  who  love  him 


f 


concerns.  1 
:cmpteil  from 
engagement, 
I,  who  ordc  s 


CHAPTER    X. 


11 


I  WAS  married  to  Mr.  D.  M.,  on  the  loth  day  of  Feb- 
ruary, in  the  year  1703.  The  cin  nstances  which  led  to 
our  acquaintance,  and  union,  vicrv  as  t)llow3  : 

When  I  lived  with  Mr.  and  Mr  '^.,  in  Sheffield,  Mr. 
D.  M.  lived  on  the  opposite  side  v.  .m.  river,  ilia  house 
took  fire  and  burned  down.  Mr.  S.  then  kindly  invited 
him  to  come  to  his  house,  and  make  it  his  home,  until  he 
could  better  himself  ;  and  that  the  privilege  should  cost 
him  nothing.  Mr.  D.  M.  accepted  the  kind  invitation, 
early  in  the  winter.  He  occupied  one  room,  and  boarded 
himsolf  for  nearly  two  years.  An  aged  lady,  motlicr  of 
Mr.  S.,  who  lived  with  us,  looking  mc  earnestly  in  the 
face  one  day,  said  to  me  :  "  Do  you  know  that  Mr.  1).  M. 
is  in  love  with  you  ?  "  Struck  with  astonisjnnent,  at  her 
speech,  I  replied :  ''  How  do  you  know  that  this  is  the 
case  ?  She  replied,  I  do  know  it :  "  and  said  farther,  that 
he  could  hardly  set  himsoU*  to  work  on  your  account, 
adding,  he  will  make  you  a  kind  husband,  if  you  can 
fancy  him.'*  I  said  no  more  to  her  on  the  subject,  but 
I  thought  that  could  never  be :  though  what  she  said,  set  rae 
to  thinking,  surely  it  is  a  great  misfortune  to  any  person 
to  love  another  to  his  own  injury.  liut  I  said  in  my  heart, 
surely  I  can  never  consent  to  become  his  wife.     I  had 

91 


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92 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


1; 


mnnj  ohjections  ;  lie  Avat^  not  a  professor  of  religion — a 
great  disparity  in  our  aire  —  his  want  uf  education  —  his 
comparative  poverty  —  what  prospect  couhl  I  have  ?  And 
the  greatest  ohjection  ■was,  I  did  not  love  him  —  I  never 
had  any  incUiuition  tor  any  acquaintance  with  liim  — 
tliere  was  nothing  aniiahle  in  his  countenance  —  and  let 
his  affection  toward  me, be  what  it  might, I  had  a  sufficient 
excuse  for  not  com].)lying,  shoukl  he  make  the  re([uest.  I 
was  therefore  determined  to  put  away  every  thouglit  of 
the  kind.  Then  I  thought  again  :  God  created  him  as 
well  as  me,  and  he  is  as  good  by  nature  as  myself. 

I  then  entered  into  a  serious  consideration  about  the  mat- 
ter :  perhaps  I  am  not  doing  right. 

It  may  be,  that  indulging  myself  in  my  own  supposed 
superiority,  I  may  be  acting  from  a  selfish  motive  ;  for  I 
am  not  capable  of  chooshig  for  myself,  neither  am  I  able 
to  act  according  to  the  will  of  God,  without  his  direction. 
After  I  cxijerienced  religion,  I  made  up  my  mind  to 
depend  entirely  u})on  the  Lord  to  choose  a  companion  for 
me,  if  it  were  his  will  I  ever  should  have  one. 

I  thought  :  how  do  1  know,  but  this  is  the  very  person 
lie  hath  chosen  for  me  ;  if  this  be  the  case,  no  excuse  is  a 
sufficient  objection  di  my  part. 

I  thought  again,  his  age  is  no  dis^grace  —  neither  was 
liis  poverty  any  excuse  in  the  sight  of  the  Lord ;  for  the 
earth  is  the  Lord's,  and  the  fulness  thereof,  and  the  cattle 
upon  a  thousand  hills  ;  and  he  was  able  to  give  to  him, 
such  a  portion  of  it  as  he  thought  proper.  His  want  of 
education  demanded  pity,  rather  than  blame  ;  his  not 
professing  religion,  was  rather  matter  for  humiliation  and 
prayer  ;  for  there  was  a  time,  when  I  had  no  religion  ; 
and  the  Lord  was  as  able  to  give  him  that  blessing,  as  he 


I 


« 


»'KS.   MAHX    iflul,Li:v. 


0-i 
was  to  give  it  to  myself     ^„  .  \ 

°>™  ''ea,t,I  found  i  \,,:  V''',';  ^  ™"'° '»  «"™i"e  m^ 
-do  „s  ,0  differ  ;  and  t  ,],  ^  :,:","■=  ^"""'  "  hioh 
J-     I  l<n«.v  notl.in.  a.^ainst  ti  ,'       "''"  "'  «»«'  "^ 

'-'"'■'1  -Vr.  and  Jlr.,!  S  t     1      '  7'-    ,  ""'"■'''''"■•     ^  ''^J 

--j;^edn,se,foi:j;::.:;;;S->M..i.eit,,or 

times  running  ,vere  for  it.  '^  '°'  ^"^  "^'^e 

AltJioufh  I  did  t]\'    ' 
^'x^er  aTu,  astonis!:;::r  "t^^  T'''"''  ^"'"'"^  "■"■ 
'^l-atoverlshouldaskofGodin^l/h  T"'   '"  ""^  ™'"l' 

-""Oil  of  God,  and  p4 1  i.  i":;;'"^^  "■'--'-• 

h'3  commands,  Le  would  bv his  III  '        ' '"''  "''^^'^^ 
donee,  order  and  direct  all  thin     fo!  '  T'""'  P''""' 

■"Fossed  upon  mv  mind  fo,  '°°'''-  ^M-adbeen 

l^ad  something  in  res^orTt  1m,::'  'T;  ""■"  "'^  ^^^ 
0  move  f..r«.ard  in  anythi,, "';,„?"','    '  """  ^  ''''^  ''"■™W 
lest  I  should  ero,s  lli^     "".'  ""'°"'  •''sl^ins  divine  counsel 

I  t'-efor,  concl      :       I'  rr""-'  "^"^'«  '"^  »^  4 
;°  i-n  for  wisdom,  and\  te ^d'  ^^.f  ";-^"''  ^  -"^  «o 
'°  »«.  to  go  to  the  Lord  ;  ";  "''^^'•"'Sl/-     It  occurred 
'{  '■'  >>o  thy  will,  that  I  s'll,    "7''"  "-'"-■     0  Lord, 
'"f«  «f  I>.  M,  i  beseech   I       .?   '"'"""' '"  ''•^'^'""o  the 

'"•'-  But  if  itbet;  bV:v:  r:^7^'"^^^ 

f  f-eeome  his  wife,  L  J^s  d      '     f!   '  ^'"""  ^»"-"' 
-■"  n>y  mind  towarfs  hi      J,     b!  P  "'^  '""'*  ""' 
I;"owand  do  thy  holyand  hies    dl^  ''';.^'"^'I"^V 
tho  first  petition  in  the  „e  Jti  u     "  ,.^^''""  ^  "^'^'o'l 

ivhen  I  asked  the  secondt.  v '  "°  ''''^''^"^'=°-   ^ut 

second  pet,t,on,  my  heart  was  immedi- 


9[ 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


i'   . 


atelj'  Foftcncd,  and  a  flood  of  tears  gnshed  from  my  eyes  ; 
and  thc30  words  were  instantly  applied  to  my  heart  : 
"  AVhatsoever  ye  shall  bind  on  earth,  shall  be  bound  in 
heaven,"  and  "  What  God  hath  joined  to;^cther,  let  not 
man  put  asunder."  The  answer  was  so  elear,  and  satis- 
l\ictory,  both  as  to  the  will  of  the  Lord,  and  my  duty,  that 
the  following  evening,  when  Mr.  D.  M.,  requested  an  in- 
terview, it  was  readily  granted.  He  told  me  the  wishes 
of  his  heart,  which  corresponded  with  what  the  old  lady 
had  told  me,  that  it  had  been  his  desire  for  a  long  time  to 
form  an  acquaintance  with  me  ;  but  had  kept  his  mind  to 
himself,  for  fear  of  a  denial. 

Being  prepared  by  the  previous  information  I  had 
received,  and  the  ordeal  through  which  I  had  passed,  a 
free  and  mutual  conversation  ensued  ;  in  which  was  ex- 
pressed our  past  trials  and  difficulties,  intentions  and 
future  expectations.  He  then  said,  having  been  greatly 
disappointed  by  a  person  not  fulfilling  her  engagements  to 
him,  he  had  resolved  to  be  more  careful  in  committing 
himself  to  another.  He  presented  a  Bible,  saying  he 
hoped  I  had  no  objections  to  taking  an  oath  of  fidelity 
upon  that,  and  he  would  do  the  same  to  me.  The  request 
somewhat  frightened  me  at  first ;  but  considering  for  a 
moment,  I  thought,  what  difference  can  an  oath  make  be- 
tween us,  for  I  am  already  bound  by  my  convictions  and 
conscience,  and  would  not  dare  turn  back  from  my  resolu- 
tions ;  ^  therefore  consented  to  his  request.  He  then  pro- 
ceedec^  take  a  solemn  oath  upon  the  Bible,  making  use 
of  his  Maker's  name,  giving  himself  to  me  without  reserve, 
to  be  my  true  and  faithful  husband,  when  his  situation 
should  be  such,  that  he  could  provide  me  a  home.  Then 
he  handed  the  Bible  to  me,  putting  words  into  my  mouth, 


f  * 
■^ 


MR3.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


05 


litting 
ing  he 
idelity 
[equest 
It  for  a 
iVe  be- 
ts and 
Iresolu- 
jn  pro- 
[(f  use 

o 

iserve, 

cuation 

Then 

\outh, 


in  the  form  of  an  oath.  Thus  did  I  hind  mjself  to  a  man 
Avithout  asking  the  advice  of  any  one  on  earth  ;  hut  I  -was 
conscientious  in  doing  that  which  [  believed  was  riglit  in 
the  sight  of  the  Lord,  whose  direction  I  had  sought.  Some 
time  after,  Mr.  M.  took  me  to  my  father's.  But  I  soon 
found,  that  my  rektions  had  many  objections  to  him,  Avhich 
struck  a  damp  upon  my  spirits,  and  grieved  me  much  to 
find  them  unliappy,  thinking  I  had  made  an  unsuitable 
choice.  They  were  very  kind  to  me  while  I  stayed  with 
them,  which  was  but  a  few  days  at  that  time.  I  was 
sorely  tempted  to  repent  of  what  I  had  done,  when  I  found 
my  friends  were  opposed  to  it,  and  looked  upon  him  with 
coldness ;  but  being  convinced  I  had  asked  counsel  of  the 
Lord,  and  had  been  directed  by  Ilim,  gave  me  hope  that 
he  Avould  bring  me  oif  more  than  conqueror.  I  endeavored 
to  hide  tlie  state  of  my  mind  from  Mr.  M.,  and  sought  sup- 
port and  direction  from  the  Lord.  When  I  felt  my  mind 
happy  in  God,  I  saw  all  was  well,  and  endeavored  as 
much  as  possible  to  keep  in  that  state.  The  tempter  woidd 
often  come  in  like  a  flood  ;  but  the  promises  of  God  were 
my  support ;  and  I  Avas  often  refreshed  with  his  presence. 
I  could  commit  all  my  cares  to  him  ;  and  cast  my  burden 
upon  him,  and  then  I  felt  happy. 

Some  time  after,  my  youngest  sister  Avas  married. 
When  I  found  she  Avas  going  to  leave  home,  T  Avas  much 
grieved  for  my  aged  parents.  I  wept  much,  to  think  that 
my  kind  mother,  after  bringing  up  such  a  large  family, 
must  be  deprived  of  all  her  daughters,  noAV  in  her  declin- 
ing years.  W^hen  I  had  a  visit  from  Mr.  M.,  I  spoke 
something  of  my  grief  to  him,  not  thinking  he  AVOuld  take 
offence  ;  but  he  felt  stirred  up  to  Avritc  me,  saying,  since 
I  Avas  so  much  grieved  about  the  matter,  he  would  give 


90 


LliE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


mo  up,  and  foci  himself  at  liberty  to  turn  to  the  world 
again.  When  I  saw  the  contents  of  the  letter,  I  was  over- 
joyed, insomuch,  tliat  I  scarcely  knew  Avhere  I  was.  I 
felt  trulv  thankful  to  be  relieved  from  entering;  into  the 
marriage  state,  altliougli  T  did  not  say  a  word  to  him  that 
I  was  so  tried  ;  neither  would  I  indulge  my  feelings  to  a 
change  of  mind  ;  but  I  wondered  how  he  came  to  change 
his  mind.  I  thouglit,  if  he  has  given  me  up,  I  am  free  ; 
and  as  I  had  not  fell  back  from  my  promise,  I  felt  no  guilt, 
and  was  perfectly  satisfied.  A  while  after,  I  went  to 
SheffieM,  not  expecting  to  see  him,  as  I  knew  he  worked 
in  the  Avoods  ;  but  he  happened  to  be  at  home,  and  when 
lie  saw  me,  he  spoke  very  kindly,  and  seemed  as  glad  to 
see  me  as  usual.  I  said  Avliy  do  you  speak  to  me  ?  surely 
you  Avant  nothing  of  me  ?  you  have  given  me  up,  and 
found  yourself  at  liberty  to  turn  to  the  Avorld  again. 

"  Why,"  said  he,  "  did  you  take  me  in  earnest,  in  what 
I  Avrote  you  ?  "  "  Yes,  to  be  sure,  I  replied  ;  and  if  you 
repented  and  gave  me  up,  I  am  very  glad."  He  replied, 
"  What  Avill  you  do  Avith  your  oath  ?"  "I  ansAvered,  if 
3'ou  have  broken  the  oath  yourself,  Avithout  any  provoca- 
tion, it  is  your  own  fault,  and  not  mine."  When  he  found 
I  Avas  in  earnest  about  the  matter,  he  was  much  cast  down, 
and  said  he  only  did  it  to  try  me. 

I  said,  you  must  abide  by  the  consequences  :  for  I  shall 
take  you  at  your  Avord  ;  and  you  have  only  yourself  to 
blame,  and  bid  him  good-night. 

The  next  morning  he  sent  for  me,  saying  he  Avanted  to 
speiJv  Avith  me  ;  and  said  he  was  very  sorry  for  Avhat  he 
liad  done  ;  and  could  I  not  overlook  it,  and  pardon  his 
fault  ?  I  said,  I  could  forgive  him  ;  but  I  could  not  say 
I  should  roncAV  my  engagement  to  him.     I  said,  you  must 


p 


t 


MRS.    MAIIV    liUADLKi', 


97 


shall 
self  to 

[ted  to 
Ihat  he 
[on  his 
[ot  say 
must 


pray  to  the  Lord  for  true  repentance  and  grace,  to  give 
up  yourself  and  me  to  Inm  ;  and  it  may  be,  that  Tie  will 
turn  my  heart  to  you  again.  I  felt  very  sorry  for  liiin, 
for  lie  looked  really  sick  ;  but  I  did  not  know  what  step 
to  take.  It  happened  that  one  of  the  local  preachers  was 
there  at  the  time,  and  though  a  stranger  to  me,  I  related 
to  him  the  circumstances,  and  asked  his  advice.  His  first 
reply  was,  '•  Abraham  travailed  three  days  Avith  his  son 
Isaac,  before  he  oftered  him  up." 

The  answer  operated  as  a  check,  not  to  be  too  absolute 
in  the  matter.  After  a  while,  Mr.  II.  gave  me  the  Bible 
open,  pointing  his  finger  to  Jeremiah  40  :  4. 

"  And  now,  behold,  I  loose  thee  this  day  from  the 
chains  which  were  upon  thine  hand.  If  it  seem  good  unto 
thee  to  come  with  me  into  Babylon,  come  ;  and  I  will  look 
well  unto  thee :  behold,  all  the  land  is  before  thee  : 
whither  it  seemeth  good  and  convenient  for  thee  to  go, 
thither  go." 

I  then  made  a  visit  to  my  sister  and  brother-in-law,  in 
Maugerville,  to  whom  I  related  my  trouble,  and  asked 
their  advice.  My  brother  went  to  see  him,  and  on  his 
return  told  me,  he  was  very  sick  ;  and  did  not  think  he 
could  live  ;  and  observed,  there  seemed  to  be  quite  a 
change  wrought  in  him ;  on  hearing  which,  my  heart  was 
moved  with  sympathy  towards  him.  I  then  prayed  more 
earnestly  that  I  might  be  directed  according  to  the 
Divine  will  in  every  respect. 

I  again  returned  home,  and  on  my  way,  called  to  see 
Mr.  M.,  whom  I  found  so  penitent,  that  I  greatly  hoped 
his  trouble  had  been  sanctified  to  the  good  of  his  soul  ; 
and  thought  I  could  eye  the  hand  of  God  in  the  dispensa- 
tion of  his  providence  toward  us. 
9* 


98 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


lie  said  it  came  to  his  mind,  to  fast  three  days  and 
nights,  and  it  might  he,  that  the  Lord  would  turn  my  heart 
towards  him  again  —  lie  did  so  ;  and  on  one  of  those 
nights  when  asleep,  he  dreamed  he  saw  me  standing  at  the 
foot  of  his  bed,  dressed  in  white,  with  a  candle  in  my  right 
hand.  He  then  took  encouragement,  that  the  Lord 
would  hear  his  prayer,  and  that  he  should  obtain  his 
request. 

I  then,  having  such  evident  t(  kens  of  his  sincerity,  con- 
sidered myself  bound  by  my  former  engagement ;  which  I 
acknowledged  to  him,  and  felt  much  more  satisfied  with 
him  than  before  ;  and  when  he  made  me  another  visit,  he 
said  as  I  was  so  much  grieved  on  account  of  leaving  home, 
if  it  was  the  wish  of  my  parents,  I  might  remain  with  them 
after  our  marriage  ;  to  which  they  readily  acceded.  At 
length,  consent  was  given,  a  time  set,  and  preparations 
were  made,  and  Mr.  M.  came  for  the  purpose  of  being 
married. 

At  this  juncture,  a  brother  who  lived  at  a  distance,  came 
home  and  set  his  face  against  it,  and  stirred  up  my  father 
to  oppose  it ;  saying  he  had  heard  a  report  that  Mr.  M . 
had  a  wife  before  he  came  to  this  country.  My  father 
was  grieved,  and  said,  if  I  got  married,  it  must  be  without 
his  consent. 

Thus  was  my  way  again  hedged  up  ;  and  again  I  retired 
by  prayer  to  my  only  refuge  in  time  of  trouble  ;  and  tak- 
ing up  the  Bible,  opened  promiscuously  upon  the  27th 
Psalm : 


I 


^ 


The  Lord  is  my  light  and  my  salvation  ;  whom  shall  I  fear  ? 
the  Lord  is  the  strength  of  my  life  ;  of  whom  shall  I  be  afraid  ? 

When  the  wicked,  even  mine  enemies  and  my  foes,  came  upon 
me  to  eat  up  my  flesh,  they  stumbled  and  fell. 


MRS.    MAllY   LUADLEY. 


99 


tired 

tak- 

27th 


fear? 
liid? 
upon 


Thoucfh  an  host,  should  encamp  againat  me,  my  heart  shall  not 
fear;  though  w.-ir  should  rise  against  me,  in  this  will  I  be  conti- 
dent. 

One  thing  have  I  desired  of  the  Lord,  that  will  I  seek  after; 
that  I  may  dwell  in  the  house  of  the  Lord  all  the  days  of  my  life, 
to  beliold  the  beauty  of  the  Lord,  and  to  inquire  in  his  temple. 

For  in  the  time  of  trouble  he  shall  hide  me  in  his  pavilion  :  in  the 
secret  of  his  tabernacle  shall  he  hide  me  ;  he  shall  set  me  up  upon 
a  rock. 

And  now  shall  mine  head  be  lifted  up  above  mine  enemies 
round  about  luo  :  therefore  will  I  offer  in  his  tabernacle  sacrifices 
of  joy  ;  I  will  sing,  yea,  I  will  sing  praises  unto  the  Lord. 

Hear,  O  Lord,  when  I  cry  with  my  voice :  have  mercy  also  upon 
me,  and  answer  me. 

When  thou  saidst,  Seek  '''^  :iy  face ;  my  heart  said  unto  thee. 
Thy  face,  Lord,  will  I  seek. 

Hide  not  thy  fice  far  from  me;  put  not  thy  servant  away  in  an- 
ger; thou  hast  been  my  help ;  leave  me  not,  neither  forsake  me,  O 
God  of  my  salva*'on. 

When  my  father  and  my  mother  forsake  me,  then  the  Lord  will 
take  me  up. 

Teach  me  thy  way,  O  Lord,  and  lead  me  in  a  plain  path,  because 
of  mine  enemies. 

Deliver  me  not  over  unto  the  wil'  of  mine  enemies :  for  false  wit- 
nesses are  risen  up  against  me,  and  such  as  breathe  out  cruelty. 

I  had  fainted,  unless  I  had  believed  to  see  the  goodness  of  the 
Lord  in  the  land  of  the  living. 

Wait  on  the  Lord  :  be  of  g  .5  courage,  and  he  shall  strengthen 
thine  heart :  wait,  I  say,  on  the  :  ,ord. 

While  reading  this  Psalm,  I  felt  it  so  effectually  applied, 
that  it  afforded  me  great  comfort,  like  a  light  shining  upon 
my  path,  enabling  me  to  cast  my  burden  upon  the  Lord. 
I  told  my  father  of  the  comfort  of  my  mind,  in  taking  the 
matter  to  a  throne  of  grace,  and  my  confirmation  that  I 
was  in  the  way  of  duty ;  and  if  the  union  should  be 
prevented,  the  consequences  must  rest  upon  those  who 


100 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


T.I' 


prevent  it.  I  am  conscience  bound,  and  cannot  retract 
my  solemn  vow,  for  any  iVivolons  report  raised  against 
him.  <jod  knew  whctlior  ho  was  a  hiwful  object;  and  it 
was  upon  his  word  I  depended  tbr  direction.  My  fatlier 
heard  with  attention.  Next  morning  he  called  mo  to  him, 
and  acknowledged,  tliongh  he  had  suftered  in  mind  tor 
consenting  to  my  marriage,  the  Lord  had  shown  him  h  e 
had  no  right  to  withhold  me  ;  and,  as  on  a  former  occasion 
•when  he  was  troubled  about  me,  he  had  looked  to  the  Lord 
and  had  been  enabled  to  give  me  up ;  and  as  I  was  no 
longer  his,  he  would  now  leave  me  to  act  according  to  my 
own  judgment  and  feelings. 

(My  father  alluded  above  to  the  extraordinary  exer- 
cises of  my  mind,  recorded  in  the  foregoing  pages.) 

I  replied,  "  Father,  all  I  ask  or  desire  is,  for  you  to  give 
me  up  to  the  Lord  ;  for  it  was  all  my  desire,  to  give  myself 
to  him,  and  act  in  accordance  with  His  blessed  and  holy 
•will."  He  said,  "  I  must  not  give  you  any  assistance  ; 
and  whatever  preparations  are  made  at  my  expense,  must 
be  laid  aside.  To  this  I  cheerfully  submitted,  believing 
that  all  things  would  work  together  for  my  good,  however 
crossing  to  my  nature. 

After  a  few  days  consideration,  my  father  recalled  some 
of  his  resolutions,  and  said  we  might  stay  at  home,  and 
proceed  as  he  had  before  consented.  Li  a  few  days,  Mr. 
M.  came  to  Sheffield,  the  day  was  appointed,  and  the  mar- 
riage was  solemnized.  Though  it  was  a  grief  to  me,  to  be 
married  against  the  opinion  of  my  friends,  yet  I  could  not 
so  much  blame,  as  I  felt  sorry  for  them  ;  because  I  knev/ 
they  loved  me,  and  were  intereslod  for  my  welfare. 


*l 


ClIAPTEU    XI 


some 
and 

5,  Mr. 
mar- 

1,  to  be 

lid  not 
knew 


A  XKW  era  in  my  history  now  commenced.  Thoughts 
like  those  crossed  my  mind :  T  have  no  more  riij^ht  to  my 
father's  table  ;  how  am  I  to  i2;et  through  the  world  ?  how 
fare  for  the  necessaries  of  life  ?  has  my  husband  Avherc- 
■with  to  furnish  one  comfortable  table  ?  However,  he 
brouglit  Avhat  he  had,  and  when  the  little  stores  were  collec- 
ted together,  I  was  much  better  provided  for  than  I  had  ex- 
pected. We  had  part  of  a  barrel  of  fine  flour,  part  of  a 
barrel  of  Indian  meal,  part  of  a  barrel  of  fisli,  a  piece  of 
fresh  meat,  a  little  tea  and  sugar,  and  a  small  crock  of 
batter. 

When  we  sat  down  to  partake  of  those  mercies,  I 
tliouglit,  how  kind  is  Providence  to  me  !  how  much  better 
than  my  boding  fears  !  I  felt  tndy  thankful  to  the  Lord 
for  such  a  comfortable  beginning.  If  I  get  enough  for 
the  first  year,  surely  I  shall  never  despair  afterwards,  I 
thought.  I  craved  no  more  than  just  a  living,  and  some- 
thing to  give  to  the  poor.  My  prospects  were  far  from 
being  flattering,  for  my  husband  had  met  with  a  great 
disappointment.  When  he  was  in  the  lumbering  business, 
he  expected  he  was  doing  well,  and  would  be  able  to 
clear  off  all  expenses,  and  have  considerable  to  help 
himself  besides.     But  when  the  timber  was  taken  to  mar- 

101 


102 


LIFE   AND   EXPEUIENCE   OF 


ket,  a  great  part  of  it  was  condemned ;  and  those  who 
were  concerned,  not  l>ein;^  able  to  l)oar  the  expenses,  the 
loss  fell  upon  my  hushand.  l^o  that  tlie  property  we  both 
possessed  was  not  equal  to  tlie  debt,  Avhich  was  c  vin;j;  to 
the  merchant  in  !^t.  Johns.  Therefore,  as  we  were  ii.ible  at 
any  time  to  be  deprived  of  o\ir  little  all,  I  coinited  notiiing 
I  possessed  my  own  ;  and  that  was  like  a  mountain  to 
me ;  business  was  very  dull,  and  he  had  :io  way  to  earn 
any  thing  in  the  winter  ;  and  I  knew  no  way  how  wc 
should  ever  be  able  to  pay  it.  Just  at  this  critical  time, 
it  occurred  to  me,  I  will  commence  the  business  of  weav- 
ing. Accordingly  I  set  up  my  loom,  and  notified  my 
neighbors,  and  I  soon  had  jilcnty  of  work.  I  exerted  hiv- 
self  to  the  utmost  of  my  power.  I  took  my  pay  in  sucii 
trade  as  was  suitable  for  our  fi\mily's  use,  which  made  the 
payment  easy  to  my  customers.  I  soon  got  into  the  way 
of  helping  ourselves  greatly.  My  labor  Avas  hard ;  but  I 
was  favored  with  a  good  constitution,  and  I  felt  much  en- 
couraged and  truly  thankful  for  such  a  providential  open- 
ing. I  realized  my  situation,  but  I  endeavored  not  to  bo 
ruled  by  my  feelings,  but  to  make  all  things  bow  to  my 
better  judgment  and  circumstances.  I  enforced  it  upon 
myself  not  to  crave  what  was  out  of  my  reach  of  tempo- 
ral  good,  excepting  to  get  out  of  debt,  for  which  I  strove 
earnestly.  I  was  content  with  what  God  in  his  wise  prov- 
idence had  alottcd  me,  both  as  to  food,  raiment,  furniture, 
habitation,  and  all  beside,  nut  desiring  the  company  of 
those  who  were  above  me  in  life  ;  maintaining  carefulness, 
prudence,  and  hidustry,  which  I  considered  my  bounden 
duty ;  and  while  my  head  and  hands  were  thus  employed, 
I  might  give  my  heart  fully  to  the  Lord,  praying  that  it 
might  not  be  unduly  set  upon  objects  here  below,  but 


MRS.    AIARY    I5UADLEV. 


103 


i 

\ 


my 
ppon 
mpo- 
irovc 
lirov- 
;iire, 
of 

iCSS, 

lid  en 

it  it 
but 


upon  thinL's  above,  that  my  treasure  and  heart  might  ho 
in  heaven. 

After  Air.  M.  gave  up  the  lumbering  business,  ho  en- 
gaged to  clear  land  f*M' Mr.  S.  D.  S.,  in  Burton,  at  "which 
lie  was  working  the  sun  mer  previous  to  our  marriage  ;  but 
he  did  not  fiuisli  it  until  lat«.«  in  the  fall  of  the  year  follow- 
ing ;  and  as  he  had  lived  upon  his  wages,  and  hired  help, 
ho  had  but  little  coming  to  him  when  the  work  was  fin- 
islicd,  and  the  greater  part  of  that  little  was  turned  in 
favor  of  our  creditor.  When  mv  husband  came  home  and 
told  mo  he  had  finished  his  engagement,  I  felt  truly  thank- 
ful io  that  kind  hand  which  had  brought  us  on  thus  far. 

^V  J  had  been  married  nine  months,  and  I  had  been 
comfortahly  provided  for,  and  a  g0(^d  prospect  for  the  en- 
suing winter.  I  had  the  privilege  of  two  cows'  milk ;  one  my 
husband  brous^ht  home,  and  the  other  my  father  gave  me  ; 
so  that  by  an  interchange  of  milk  with  my  mother,  I  made 
plenty  of  cheese  and  butter  for  our  own  use.  Wc  raised 
potatoes  sufficient  for  the  family,  and  for  fatting  our  pork ; 
so  that  with  these  necessaries  of  liil',  milk  and  butter, 
potatoes  and  pork,  with  but  little  bread,  we  Uved  ;  except- 
ing particular  occasions,  I  made  little  use  of  tea  and  sugar. 
I  never  ran  my  husband  in  debt  for  any  thing  whatever. 
I  endeavored  to  supply  our  little  wants  by  my  own  exer- 
tions. T  felt  quite  encouraged  to  hope,  by  the  blessing 
of  God,  tbat  wc  should  accumulate  a  comfortable  living. 
The  spring  came  on,  and  my  eldest  brother  offered  us  his 
farm,  upon  shares,  for  three  years.  Hay  and  grass  being 
its  principal  productions,  we  had  nothing  to  spare  of  all 
we  raised,  but  butter  and  cheese.  We  did  not  raise  grain 
sufficient  for  our  own  use  ;  but  my  weaving  in  the  winter, 
when  the  dairy  was  out  of  the  way,  procured  for  us  as 


.4 


104 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


much  bread  stuff  as  we  needed.  Tlio  prospect  of  paying 
our  debt  was  not  encouraging.  At  length  my  dear  father 
died,  and  remembered  me  with  a  legacy  in  his  will.  I 
had  just  received  the  first  payment,  Avhen  my  husband 
received  a  lawyer's  letter,  by  order  of  Mr.  II.  T.,  notify- 
ing him  that  if  payment  were  not  made  immediately,  he 
would  be  prosecuted. 

When  I  saw  the  contents  of  the  letter,  and  the  sum 
demanded,  I  said  to  my  husband  I  would  freely  give  up 
what  I  had  received,  which  being  just  the  amount  of  the 
debt,  he  went  directly  to  the  lawyer  and  paid  it.  I 
thought,  how  good  has  Providence  been  to  us,  that  we 
were  not  distressed  before  we  had  it  in  our  power  to  pay 
the  demand.  I  then  felt  much  encouraged,  thinking  what 
we  should  earn  would  be  our  own,  and  labored  in  hope, 
that  at  some  future  period,  we  should  be  in  better  circum- 
stances. The  constitution  of  my  husband  was  much 
broken  ;  he  never  Eoemed  in  good  health,  which  occasioned 
me  great  anxiety  ;  but  we  got  on  better  than  our  boding 
fears.  Notwithstandinof  our  discouragements,  I  endeavored 
to  cultivate  cheerful  submission  to  the  hand  of  Providence. 

We  remained  upon  my  brother's  farm  four  years  ;  then 
hired  a  small  one  in  the  same  neighborhood,  where  we 
remained  two  years  ;  before  the  end  of  which,  my  hus- 
band went  to  St.  John  and  hired  a  farm  of  William  Ha- 
zen,  Esq.,  in  Portland,  on  the  marsh.  lie  then  made 
a  vendue,  and  sold  his  live  stock,  hay,  articles  of  furni- 
ture, and  farming  utensils.  When  the  river  opened  in 
the  spring,  we  removed  to  St.  John,  to  commence  upon 
our  farm,  the  first  of  May,  1800.  Here  we  resided  six 
years,  two  and  a  half  miles  from  the  city. 

In  1805,  my  husband  purchased  a  house  and  four  lots 


MKS.    iMAKY    iiRADl.EY. 


10. 


of  land,  in  Germain  street,  St.  John  ;  and  in  the  year 
followin^;^,  we  removed  to  our  new  abode.  The  fii'st  few 
years,  we  kept  a  grocery,  rented  a  part  of  tlic  house,  and 
had  little  pros[)ect  of  paying  for  the  property.  At  length 
times  chanii;ed  for  the  better,  and  mv  husband  was  enabled 
to  life  the  mortgages,  and  the  property  became  our  own. 
AVe  then  felt  ourselves  greatly  blessed  by  the  kind  hand 
of  Providence,  Avhich  had  so  prospered  our  labors  that  we 
had  accumulated  a  comfortable  home  ;  which  we  esteemed 
a  great  blessing. 

In  the  midst  of  all  human  enjoyment,  and  sometimes  at 
the  very  top  of  expectation  and  hope,  a  corroding  worm  is 
discovered  to  be  at  the  root  of  our  earthly  comforts.  My 
husband's  health  gradually  failed.  Nature  could  no  longer 
retain  its  hold  of  life,  but  gave  way  to  death,  the  first  day 
of  March,  1817. 

Two  years  and  four  months  I  remained  a  lonely  widow. 


10 


mce. 
then 
we 
lius- 
ila- 
Imade 
furni- 
id  in 
I  upon 
six 

lots 


I  ! 


CHAPTER    XII. 


As  I  have  detailed  our  temporal  course,  during  my  past 
stage  of  married  life,  I  now  deem  it  proper  to  relate  a 
short  account  of  my  mental  exercises  daring  that  period. 
The  various  modes  of  life,  early  associates  and  hahits,  lead 
to  certain  views  and  sentiments,  which  being  thus  imbibed 
before  the  judgment  is  matured,  give  a  certain  cast  to  the 
mind,  and  erect  a  sort  of  standard,  according  to  which, 
whether  true  or  false,  we  are  frequently  led  to  look  upon 
every  person  and  thing  during  subsequent  life  ;  and  what- 
ever does  not  accord  with  our  views  is  treated  with  con- 
tempt, as  sadly  defective  in  point  of  order,  or  eti- 
quette. 

When  I  was  married  to  Mr.  M.,  not  having  much  pre- 
vious acquaintance  with  his  temper  and  disposition,  I 
expected  to  receive  the  greatest  marks  of  attention,  kind- 
ness, and  indulgence  from  him.  But  I  soon  found  that, 
being  his  wife,  I  Avas  bound  by  law  to  yield  obedience  to 
the  requirements  of  my  husband ;  and  when  he  enforced 
obedience,  and  showed  marks  of  resentment  if  his  wishes 
were  not  met,  I  was  tempted  with  anger,  and  felt  a  spirit 
of  resentment  arise  in  my  heart,  and  retaliating  expres- 
sions come  into  my   mind  ;    but  I  had  sufficient  self-pos- 

106 


MUS.    MARY     BRADLEVT. 


107 


con- 
eti- 

pre- 
)n,  I 
Ikind- 

that, 
Ice  to 
lorcecl 
kishcs 

spirit 
Ixprcs- 
llf-pos- 


Mg 


session    to    iciVain    from    speaking    iu    an   unbecoming 
manner. 

I  was  terrified  to  find  that  such  a  temper  and  disposi- 
tion remained,  for  I  tliought  I  had  obtained  a  complete 
victory  over  myself;  for  I  could  not  remember  that  I  had 
felt  anger  but  once  since  I  experienced  religion. 

It  made  me  grieve,  and  filled  mc  with  sorrow,  to  find 
such  an  evil  heart  within ;  and  I  found  a  hard  strurrglf^  to 
overcome  it.  The  more  I  thought  of  it,  the  more  obdurate 
my  lieart  appeared,  and  a  disposition  to  blame  my  hus- 
band for  it,  because  he  offended  mc. 

So  after  I  had  pondered  over  it,  and  ventured  to  speak 
to  him  upon  the  subject,  thinking  if  he  would  make  some 
little  apology,  it  Avould  case  my  mind,  and  I  should  get 
over  it.  But  instead  of  the  softening  southerly  shower,  it 
was  like  the  creaking  vessel  under  the  harsher  breeze. 
So  when  I  found  I  had  no  one  to  whom  I  could  make 
known  my  complaint,  my  heart  was  bound  up  with  a  hard 
spirit ;  and  in  that  state  of  mind,  I  could  not  enjoy  com- 
munion with  my  Maker.  Then  I  thought  all  was  not  right 
in  myself.  I  began  to  look  to  the  Lord  for  relief ;  for  my 
expectation  was  from  him  alone.  Then  I  was  cheered 
with  such  blessed  promises  as  these  ; 

"  All  things  shall  work  togetlier  for  good  to  those  who 
love  God." 

"  The  hairs  of  3'our  head  are  all  numbered." 
I  began  to  examine  myself  to  ascertain  what  was  the 
cause  of  the  disordered  state  of  my  mind.  I  thought, 
surely  God's  word  is  truth  ;  and  it  says,  not  one  of  our 
hairs  can  fall  to  the  ground  without  his  notice.  If  I  had 
not  offended  him,  he  would  not  suffer  me  to  be  grieved  in 
this  manner :  and  if  all  things  are  to  work  together  for 


108 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


my  ,qoo(l,  this  must  bo  among  those  all  tilings.  I  feel 
ignorant.  I  will  pray  earnestly  that  (.Jot!  may  show  mo 
the  sin  of  my  nature,  for  surely  there  is  a  corrupt  foun- 
tain Avithin  ;  otherwise,  I  should  not  feel  anger  were  I  ever 
so  much  iinjiosed  upon.  If  I  had  not  offended,  I  should 
]i()t  need  the  rod  of  correction  ;  so  that  instead  of  thinking 
hard  of  my  husband,  I  must  conclude  it  is  the  hand  of  God. 
I  will  humble  myself  before  him,  and  will  not  be  reconciled 
with  myself,  until  I  feel  God  is  reconciled  Avith  me.  0 
Lord,  I  beseech  thee,  show  me  the  fountain  of  corrupt  na- 
ture, wliich  lurks  within  mv  heart.  Thou  hast  said  a  bro- 
ken  and  contrite  heart  is  a  sacrifice  well  pleasing  in  ihy 
sight.  I  humbly  pray  thee,  give  mo  a  deeper  sense  of 
my  sin,  and  true  repentance  for  it.  I  submit  to  the  rod, 
and  own  thy  dealings  kind  and  just.  I  cast  myself  at  thy 
feet,  dispose  of  me  as  seemeth  thee  good.  I  see  that  my 
greatest  enemies  are  those  of  my  own  heart.  It  is  my 
pride  which  causes  me  to  feel  resentment.  It  is  the  stub- 
bornness of  my  will  and  perverseness  of  my  nature,  which 
make  me  loth  to  l)ow  to  the  government  of  mv  husband  : 
it  is  because  I  do  not  love  him  as  I  ought,  Avhich  makes 
every  rough  Avord  like  a  mountain.  0  Lord,  I  beseech 
thee,  pardon  mo  ;  root  every  sin  out  of  my  heart,  and  fill 
me  Avith  love  to  thee,  and  love  to  my  husband.  Teach  mo 
mv  duty  to  thee  ar.d  to  mv  husband,  that  I  mav  be  a  du- 
tiful  and  obedient  Avifc.  Give  me  streni2;th  to  resist  the 
temptations  of  Satan,  Avho  gocth  about  as  a  roaring  lion, 
seeking  Avliom  he  may  devour.  Arm  me  against  all  his 
devices,  and  beat  him  down  under  my  feet ;  tliat  I  may 
possess  the  gate  of  my  enemies.  Blessed  be  thy  holy  name, 
for  the  manifestation  of  thy  love,  and  for  the  promises 
applied  to  my  mind  ;  for  the  brokenness  of  heart  and  com- 


JIKS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


109 


tub- 
iicli 
\nd  ; 
Lakes 
eecli 
fill 
ime 
dii- 
t  the 
lion, 
1  bis 
may 
ame, 
nises 
com- 


fort I  feci.  Elesscd  be  thy  name  that  thou  hast  heard  my 
prayer,  and  I  now  believe  thou  hast  pardoned,  and  art  rec- 
onciled unto  me  again.  I  thank  thee  for  the  sweet  peace 
of  mind  I  now  enjoy.  I  see  thou  dost  all  things  well,  and 
that  this  rod  of  correction  has  been  sanctified  to  my  good. 
I  feel  it  is  good  for  me  to  be  humble  before  thee  ;  and  I 
pray  that  I  may  be  more  watchful  over  myself  in  future, 
and  guard  against  temptations  of  every  kind. 

0,  how  smoothly  eve  y thing  goes  on  when  my  mind  is 
centered  and  fixed  upon  my  blessed  Jesus,  Avho  is  the  rock 
of  my  salvation.  How  delightful  is  the  thought  of  death, 
Avhich  is  the  gate  of  endless  joy,  when  I  shall  behold  the 
face  of  him  who  shed  his  blood  for  me,  and  praise  his  name 
for  ever  and  ever,  amen. 

I  endeavored  to  benefit  by  the  painful  and  pleasurable 
exercises  of  the  past,  and  keep  up  a  vigilant  lookout 
against  the  enemy  ;  but  being  one  day  much  engaged  in 
my  doraesti  concerns,  and  being  crossed  in  something,  I 
was  found  off  my  guard ;  and  again  Satan,  who  is  ever 
ready  to  second  any  outward  trial,  and  put  the  worst  face 
upon  every  word  and  circumstance,  gained  an  advantage 
over  my  weakness  —  captivated  my  mind  —  cast  me  down 
• —  1  was  discomfited  —  my  peace  and  happiness  disturbed  — 
temptation  more  fierce  —  resistance  more  difficult  —  fiery 
darts  took  more  effect  —  and  I  fell  a  victim.  I  was  tempt- 
ed not  only  to  be  angry  with  my  husband,  but  also  to  hate 
him.  I  was  afraid  to  look  him  in  the  face  or  to  speak  for 
fear  I  should  betray  the  feeling  of  my  mind,  which  I  en- 
deavored to  conceal  from  him  and  every  one  beside.  I 
felt  as  though  Satan  knew  every  thought  and  feeling  of  my 
mind,  and  as  if  he  whispered  to  me,  "  Now  you  may  know 
your  husband  has  no  love  to  you,  although  he  pretended 
10* 


110 


LIFE    AXD    EXPERIENCE   OF 


SO  much  ;  for  if  he  had  he  would  not  so  frequently  hurt 
your  feelings  by  such  harsh  expressions,  and  never  seems 
to  care  for  it  afterwards  ;  and  at  the  same  time  accusing 
you  of  hating  him.  Nothing  unites  you  together  ;  you 
had  better  part  at  once."  Those  suggestions  roused  up 
my  mind.  0  !  thought  I,  part  indeed!  What  a  reproach 
upon  my  religion,  should  this  take  place.  No,  not  for  any 
thing  in  this  world.  This  is  Satan — •  a  powerful  tempta- 
tion from  the  devil ;  he  must  have  some  strong  hold  in 
my  heart.     I  will  search  and  find  the  traitor  out. 

I  would  think  over  my  past  experience,  the  cause  of  our 
union,  and  the  means  by  which  it  was  brought  about,  and 
I  could  see  the  hand  of  God  the  sani;3  as  at  the  first.  I 
was  convinced  there  existed  within  me  a  fountain  of  cor- 
rupt nature,  or  I  should  not  have  such  unhappy  reflections 
and  feelings.  This  text  of  Scripture  would  often  occur 
to  me,  "  Sarah  obeyed  Abraham,  calling  him  lord,  whose 
daughters  ye  are  as  long  as  ye  do  well."  In  comparing 
Sarah's  disposition  with  my  own,  and  looking  at  the  con- 
trast, I  felt  much  condemned,  and  lamented  over  my  self- 
exalted,  unsubmissive  nature.  I  felt  the  force  of  this  pas- 
sage :  "  If  ye  live  after  the  flesh,  ye  shall  die  ;  but  if  ye 
through  the  spirit  mortify  the  deeds  of  the  body,  ye  shall 
live  ;  for  to  be  carnally  minded  is  death,  but  to  be  spir- 
itually minded  is  fife  and  peace."  I  felt,  if  I  forsake  my 
sin  and  repent  of  it,  God  will  pardon  it,  and  cleanse  me 
from  all  unrighteousness.  I  feel  sensible  there  is  a  fleshly, 
unsanctified  nature  abiding  in  my  heart,  which  produces 
the  carnal  mind,  which  it  not  conquered,  would  bring 
forth  death  ;  as  long  as  this  is  allowed  to  remain,  I  shall 
sink  deeper  into  sin,  and  Satan  will  gain  a  greater  advan- 
tage over  me,  and  I  shall  go  farther  astray  from  the  strait 


iMRS.    MARY    BRADT.KY. 


Ill 


jmy 
me 

ices 

•ing 

lall. 

-an- 

-ait 


and  narrow  path,  -svliicli  leadcth  unto  lite.  I  cannot  rest 
in  this  state.  I  am  resolved  to  look  to  the  Lord  ;  1  know 
he  is  as  able  and  willing  to  sanctify  me  wholly,  as  lie  was 
to  justify  me  freely,  and  that  he  will  strengthen  mo  and 
give  me  the  victory  ;  for  he  has  promised  strength  accord- 
ing to  our  day.  I  will  take  encouragement,  and  strive  to 
make  use  of  what  faith  and  strength  God  has  given  me  ; 
for  I  am  convinced  not  one  jot  or  tittle  of  his  word  can 
fail.  I  believe  praying  laith  will  overcome  the  Wicked 
One. 

"  Satan  trembles  when  lie  sees 
The  weakest  saint  upon  his  knees.'' 


•>• 


CHAPTER    XIII 


If  I  knew  I  should  be  saved  in  the  hour  of  death,  how 
could  I  rest  under  the  power  of  sin  and  ISatan  ?  God  for- 
bid I  should.  I  am  determined,  therefore,  to  watch  and 
pray  more  earnestly,  and  never  rest  until  sin  be  rooted 
out  of  my  heart,  and  I  have  obtained  a  complete  victory 
over  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil.  0  Lord,  I  be- 
seech thee  give  me  faith,  though  it  be  as  a  grain  of  mus- 
tard seed,  that  I  may  say  to  tliis  mountain  of  sin,  Be  thou 
removed.  I  know  thou  art  fully  able  to  destroy  and  con- 
quer every  thing  in  me  that  is  contrary  to  thy  blessed 
will.  0,  come  and  set  up  thy  kingdom  in  my  heart,  and 
dwell  in  me,  that  I  may  live  to  thy  glory  Avhile  I  am  in 
this  vale  of  tears.  Glory  be  to  thy  holy  name,  thou  hast 
said,  "  Draw  nigh  to  me,  and  I  will  draw  nigh  to  you  ;  " 
blessed  be  thy  holy  name,  for  this  sweet  invitation  and 
promise.  Help  me,  I  pray  thee,  to  hang  upon  thee  by 
faith.  May  my  sins  be  all  blotted  out  of  the  book  of  thy 
remembrance.  I  feel  a  hatred  to  the  very  nature  of  sin. 
I  loathe  and  abhor  mvself  as  in  dust  and  ashes,  on  the 
account  of  sin.  0,  for  the  sake  of  Jesus  Christ  thy  dear 
Son,  pardon  me,  and  set  my  soul  at  liberty.  I  plead  the 
merits  of  his  precious  blood  to  be  applied  to  my  sovd  for  a 
I  bless  thy  holy  name  for  this   heart-melt- 


healing  balm. 


112 


MRS.    AlAUy     liUADLllY. 


llo 


llOW 

I  foi- 

and 
Doted 
ctory 
I  be- 

mus- 

thou 
con- 

?ssed 

,  and 
Im  in 
hast 

u;" 

and 

by 

thy 

sin. 

the 

dear 

Id  the 

I  for  a 

[melt- 


ing sorrow  tor  sin.  Thou  alone  canst  rrivc  true  repent- 
ance. I  now  cast  myself  at  tliy  feet,  a  Iminhle  penitent 
jileading  for  pardon.  1  now  make  a  full  surrender  of  my- 
self to  thee.  0,  let  the  answer  to  my  soid  he,  "  (Jo  in 
peace,  and  sin  no  more.  Peace  I  iiWc  unto  you,  my  j)eace 
I  leave  with  you."  0,  how  good  thou  art !  (Uory  be  to 
thy  holy  name.  Jesus  is  my  hiding  jilace  ;  he  is  my 
Savior  and  my  God.  I  feel  my  sins  are  ])ardoned,  and  I 
can  again  rejoice  in  thee,  believing  that  thou  art  reenu- 
ciled  unto  me.  What  shall  I  render  unto  the  Lord  for 
all  his  benehv'^.  Thou  hast  heard  and  answered  the  inter- 
cessions of  thine  own  Spirit.  Glory  to  thy  holy  natne  I 
I  can  now  rejoice.  I  feel  happy.  God  doth  all  things 
well.  I  am  reconciled  to  all  I  am  called  to  meet  Avith, 
let  it  be  ever  so  contrarv  to  mv  nature.  I  see  the  neces- 
sity  of  walking  by  faith  and  obeying  the  coumiands  of 
God.  I  will  make  it  my  business  to  search  the  Scrip- 
tures of  the  Old  and  New  Testaments,  that  I  may  i'uUy 
ascertain  ray  diity,  and  that  I  may  act  from  a  priiici[)le  of 
love  to  God,  and  obedience  to  liis  heavenly  counnands.  I 
will  be  cautious  not  to  complain  against  my  husband.  I 
will  be  kind  to  him,  and  strive  to  make  amends  both  in 
word  and  deed  for  what  I  lack  in  affection.  I  will  be  par- 
ticular in  asking  his  advice,  and  never  do  any  thing,  nor 
go  any  where,  without  his  approbation.  I  will  pi-ay  con- 
tinually that  I  may  be  fully  reconciled  to  my  situation 
and  companion  in  life,  and  that  I  may  take  up  my  cross 
and  follow  my  blessed  Savior  in  the  way  he  would  have 
me  to  go  —  then  Satan  will  miss  his  aim.  Here  I  have 
no  continuing  city,  but  I  seek  one  to  come,  whose  maker 
and  builder  is  God.  I  hope  to  reach  that  heaveidy  land, 
behold  the  King  in  his  beauty,  and  praise  hini  for  ever 
and  ever. 


114 


LIl'K   AND    KXl'EiUCNCE   UF 


k 


.*> 


My  course,  a.-i  above  tle,"^cril)C(l,  coiitinuccl  lor  about 
tbrcoycarti;  sometimes  rejoicing  iu  the  Lord,  and  at  times 
laboring  under  discouragements,  much  cast  down,  but  still 
supported.  At  length  it  pleased  tlie  Lord  to  answer  my 
many  petitions,  which  were  fre(puMitly  with  a  contrite,  sin- 
cere heart.  I  saw  mvself  in  a  dilFerent  lii^ht —  had  more 
extended  views  of  the  holy  ^cri})turcs  —  comprehended 
more  clearly  the  omniscience  of  God  —  the  fountain  of 
pride  in  my  own  heart  —  the  streams  of  evil  thoughts, 
'words,  and  actions,  beclouding  my  mind,  hiding  the  sun  of 
righteousness  from  my  view,  causing  coldness,  deadness 
of  mind,  prevailing  unbelief — and  the  subtilty  of  Satan. 
I  saw  more  clearly  by  the  eye  of  faith,  the  loving  kind" 
ness  and  tender  mercies  of  the  Lord  towards  me.  Instead 
of  worldly  gratifications,  calling  me  to  pass  through  the 
furnace  of  alHiction  —  which  was  a  trial  of  my  faith  and 
patience,  and  proved  to  me  as  refining  fire  and  fuller's 
soap,  so  that  I  could  kiss  the  rod  and  him  "who  had  ap- 
pointed it  —  I  was  blessed  with  victory  over  those  ene- 
mies by  which  I  had  been  so  frequently  assaulted,  my  will 
vas  subdued ;  in  my  heart  the  spirit  of  love,  meekness, 
and  humility  prevailed.  I  could  so  eye  the  dealings  of 
God  with  me  for  my  furtherance  in  grace,  that  I  thought 
myself  the  happiest  creature  on  earth.  I  possessed  the 
disposition  of  Sarah  —  my  heart  was  filled  with  the  lo\t) 
of  God,  who  was  all  and  in  all  to  me.  My  peace  flowed 
like  a  river.  I  -was  led  to  think  I  should  see  sorrow  no 
more.  I  \Ya3  so  led  by  the  spirit,  that  every  thing  seemed 
to  teach  me  a  spiritual  lesson.  I  saw  great  beauty  in  the 
language  of  the  prophet,  "  Thy  INIaker  is  thy  husband  ; 
the  Lord  of  Hosts  is  his  name."     The  fifth  chapter  of  St. 


,MR»!.    MAKY    URADLI'Y. 


11.". 


Paul  to  the  Ephesians,  appeared  dolightfiil  to  me  ;  and 
the  third  cliaptcr  of  the  lir^t  epistle  of  Peter. — 


the 

loN'O 

nvcd 
IV  no 

nned 
11  the 

md  ; 
If  St. 


Ephesians,  Chop.  T). — Du  yo  Uicrcfuro  followers  of  God  as  gor-d 
cliihJrt.'n  ; 

And  walk  in  love,  as  Christ  also  liath  loved  us,  and  liatii  jrivcn 
himself  ibr  ua  an  olll'rinir  and  a  bacrilice  to  Ciod  for  a  swoct-sniell- 


ing  savour. 


But  fornication,  and  all  unclcanncss,  or  covctousncss,  let  it  not 
be  oiico  mined  lunon;^  you,  as  bccoinelh  saints  ; 

Neither  ti'thiness,  nor  foolish  talkinj,'',  nor  jesting,  which  are  not 
convenient:  but  rather  j,Mvinjr  of  tluinks. 

For  this  ye  know,  that  no  whoremonger,  nor  unclean  person,  nor 
covetous  man,  who  is  an  idolater,  hath  any  inheritance  in  the  king- 
dom of  Ciu'ist  and  of  (Jod. 

Let  no  man  deceive  you  with  vain  words ;  for  because  of  these 
things  Cometh  the  wrath  of  God  upon  the  children  of  disobedience. 

Be  not  ye  therefore  partakers  with  them. 

For  ye  were  sometime  darkness,  but  now  are  ye  light  in  the 
Lord:  walk  as  children  of  light; 

(For  the  fruit  of  the  S])irit  is  in  all  goodness,  and  righteousness, 
and  truth  ;  ) 

Proving  what  is  acceptable  unto  the  Lord. 

And  have  no  fellowship  with  the  unfruitful  works  of  darkness, 
but  rather  rei)rove  then). 

For  it  is  a  .thame  even  to  speak  of  those  things  which  are  done 
of  them  in  secret. 

But  all  things  that  are  reproved,  arc  made  manifest  by  the  light ; 
for  whatsoever  doth  make  manifest  is  light. 

Wherefore  he  saith.  Awake,  thou  that  sleepest,  and  arise  from 
the  dead,  and  Christ  shall  give  thee  light. 

See  then  that  ye  walk  circumspectly,  not  as  fools,  but  as  'vise, 

Redeeming  the  time,  because  the  days  are  evil. 

Wherefore  be  ye  not  unwise,  but  understanding  what  the  will  of 
the  Lord  is. 

And  be  not  drunk  with  wine,  wherein  is  excess  ;  but  be  filled 
with  the  Spirit ; 

Speaking  to  yourselves  in  psalms,  and  hymns,  and  spiritual  songs, 
singing  and  making  melody  in  your  heart  to  the  Lord, 


no 


I.IFK    AND    CXI'liRIEN'Cb;    01' 


Givinjr  iliaiiks  ahviiys  for  all  tliiu^^s  unto  God  and  tho  Futlior,  in 
tlin  niuiK-'  of  our  Lord  Jfsiis  (Jliii.st  ; 

Siil)iiuUiiii:  yoiirsrlves  one  to  another  in  llio  fi-ar  of  (iod. 

Wives,  submit  yourselves  unto  your  own  JuDsbiinds,  an  unto  the 
Lord. 

For  the  hushnnd  is  tlio  Iioiid  of  tho  wife,  even  as  Christ  is  tho 
head  of  thr  church  :  and  lie  is  tho  Saviour  of  the  liody. 

'J'hcn'fDro  as  tlio  church  is  suhject  luito  (^'hrist,  so  let  tho  wives 
1)0  to  their  dwu  hushands  in  every  thiii',''. 

lliishands,  love  your  wives,  rjven  as  Christ  also  loved  the  church, 
and  fjavo  himself  for  it ; 

Tliat  he  mijrht  sanctify  and  cleanse  it  with  the  wasiiing  of  water 
by  the  word, 

That  he  iniyht  present  it  to  himself  a  glorious  church,  not  havini^ 
spot  or  writdvle,  or  any  such  thin^r ;  but  that  it  should  be  holy  and 
without  bloMU-sh. 

So  ou;>ht  men  to  lov«}  their  wives,  as  their  own  bodies.  He  that 
loveth  his  wife  loveth  himself. 

For  no  man  ever  yet  hated  his  own  flesli ;  but  nourisheth  and 
cherishoth  it.  even  as  the  Lord  the  church : 

For  we  are  members  of  his  body,  of  his  flesh,  and  of  his  bones. 

For  this  cause  shall  a  man  leave  his  father  and  mother,  and  shall 
be  jomoil  unto  iiis  Avifc,  and  tliey  two  shall  he  one  llesh. 

This  is  a  gro.it  mystery  :  but  I  speak  concerning  Christ  and  the 
church. 

Nevertheless,  let  every  of  one  of  you  in  ])articuiar  so  love  his 
wife  even  as  himself;  and  the  wife  see  that  she  reverence  her  hus- 
band. 


1  Peter,  Chap.  3. — Likewise,  ye  wives,  be  in  subjection  to  your 
own  husbands  ;  that,  if  any  obey  not  the  word,  they  also  may  with- 
out the  word  be  won  by  the  conversation  of  the  wives ; 

While  they  beh:  Id  your  chaste  conversation  coupled  with  fear. 

Whose  adorning  let  it  not  be  that  outward  adorning  of  plaiting 
the  hair,  and  of  wearinij  of  gold,  or  of  putting  on  of  apparel ; 

But  let  it  bo  the  hidden  man  of  the  heart,  in  that  which  is  not 
corruptible,  even  the  ornauient  of  a  meek  and  quiet  spirit,  which  is 
in  the  sight  of  Giod  of  great  price. 

For  after  this  manner  in  the  old  time  the  holy  women  also,  who 


Mfta.    MARV     liHADLKY. 


11 


the 


|ar. 

|iting 

not 
|ch  is 

who 


inistcfl  in  God,  adorned  tlicmselvef,  being  in  subjection  unto  their 
own  hitsbiinds: 

Mvi'u  M!*  Sar  lb  obeyed  Abrahfiin,  cnlliiinr  liim  loid  :  whoso  dniigh- 
ters  yn  are,  us  long  as  ye  do  well,  iind  are  not  alraid  with  uiiy 
nnmzoirieiit. 

Lilrewisn,  ye  hiisb.'inrls,  dwell  with  tlmrn  nccordin?  toknowK-dijo, 
piviiii,'  iiorior  iiiilo  the  wilo,  as  unto  the  weaker  vessel,  niid  ns  being 
heird  loirelher  of  the  grace  ol"  life  ;  that  your  prayers  be  not  bin. 
dered. 

Finally,  bo  ye  all  of  one  mind,  bavinp;  compassion  one  of  Qnolhcr ; 
love  as  bn'threri,  be  pitiful,  be  courteous: 

Not  renderinjT  evil  for  evil,  or  railinfj  for  railinjr:  but  contrari- 
wi.-e,  blcssinu';  kiiowin;,'  that  ye  are  thereunto  culled,  that  ye  should 
inherit  n  bh'.ssinnj. 

For  he  that  will  love  life,  und  see  good  days,  let  him  refrain  hia 
tongue  from  evil,  and  his  lips  that  they  speak  no  guile  : 

Let  him  eschew  evil,  and  do  good  :  let  him  seek  peace,  and  en- 
eue  it. 

For  the  eyes  of  the  Lord  are  over  the  riirhteous,  and  his  ears  are 
opiMi  unto  their  prayers:  but  the  face  of  the  Lord  is  against  them 
that  do  evil. 

And  who  is  he  that   will  hnrni  you,  if  ye  be  followers  of  that 


whieh  is  <^ood  ? 


Hut  and  if  ye  sufTer  for  righteousness's  sake,  happy  arc  ye;  and 
be  not  afraid  of  their  terror,  neither  be  troubled  : 

Rut  sanctify  tlie  Lord  God  in  your  hearts  :  and  be  ready  always 
to  i:ive  an  answer  to  every  man  that  askcth  you  a  reason  of  the 
lii;pe  tint  is  in  you,  witii  meekness  and  f;ar. 

[laving  a  good  conscience;  that,  whereas  th'^y  speak  evil  of  you, 
as  of  evil-doers,  they  may  bo  ashamed  that  falsely  accuse  your 
good  conversation  in  Christ. 

For  it  is  better,  if  the  will  of  God  be  so,  that  ye  suffer  for  well- 
doinjT,  than  for  evil-doing. 

For  Christ  also  hath  once  suffered  for  sins,  the  just  for  the  unjust, 
:l)al  he  might  brinsx  us  to  God,  being  put  to  death  in  the  flesh,  but 
quickened  by  the  Spirit: 

By  which  also  he  went  and  preached  unto  the  spirits  in  prison  ; 

Which  sotnotimo  were  disobedient,  when  once  the  long-suffering 

U 


118 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


J 


of  God  waited  in  the  days  of  Noah,  while  tlie  ark  was  a  prepar- 
ing, wherein  few,  that  is,  eight  souls,  were  saved  by  water. 

The  like  figure  wiiereunto,  even  baptism,  doth  also  now  save  us, 
(not  the  putting  away  of  the  filth  of  the  flesh,  but  the  answer  of  a 
good  conscience  toward  God,)  by  the  resurrection  of  Jesus  Christ : 

Who  is  gone  into  heaven,  and  is  on  the  right  hand  of  God  ;  an- 
gels, and  authoritiefi,  and  powers  being  made  subject  unto  him. 

In  the  miclst  of  my  worldly  cares  and  anxieties,  T  never 
lost  sight  of  my  past  experience  ;  not  that  I  placed  de- 
pendence upon  it,  so  as  to  relax  in  Christian  vigilance, 
but  to  encourage  me  in  mv  difficulties. 

Sometimes  my  mind  was  low,  and  trials  and  temptations 
would  overwhelm  me  ;  but  now  clouds  and  storms  are 
driven  away,  and  my  strength  is  renewed  like  the  eagle's, 
and  my  mind  confirmed  in  the  power  and  truth  of  religion. 
I  felt  remarkably  happy.  I  desired  to  communicate  of 
^7  joy  to  others.  I  was  led  to  open  my  mind  Avith  much 
freedom  to  my  brothers  and  sisters  ;  more  so  than  I  had 
done  before,  which  produced  confidence  in  them,  and  wo 
enjoyed  great  happiness  Avhile  conversing  together  upon 
the  things  of  God.  The  remarkable  way  in  which  I  have 
been  exercised  on  various  occasions,  has  always  appeared 
mysterious  to  me.  I  doubt  not,  however,  but  in  due  time 
the  reason  will  be  fully  explained. 

One  morning  without  being  able  to  assign  any  natural 
cause,  an  unusual  heaviness  came  over  me,  accompanied 
with  these  words  :  "  My  soul  is  exceeding  sorrowful  even 
unto  death."  My  grief  increased,  a  dark  cloud  seemed 
to  overshadow  me  ;  the  burden  became  heavier,  with  the 
constant  recurrence  of  the  same  words.  To  prevent  an  ex. 
posure  of  my  feelings,  I  left  the  house  and  went  into  the 
field,  and  such  was  my  agony  I  fell  npon  the  ground  — 


¥ 


.MIL<.    .MAKV     UK  AD  LEY, 


119 


had 
^YC 
upon 

lave 
eared 

t'mie 


0 


the 
d  — 


my  strength  left  mo  —  I  had  not  povcr  to  move  hand  or 
foot,  or  to  speak  a  word  for  a  considerable  time.  At  length 
T  was  constrained  to  cry  out  in  the  use  of  the  same  words. 
I  thought  it  pleased  the  Savior  to  give  mc  to  taste  of  the 
cup  of  Gethsemane.  I  felt  as  if  I  sliould  die,  and  cried, 
O  Lord,  thou  hast  died,  and  dost  thou  require  that  I  should 
die  also  ?  I  prayed  if  consistent  with  his  blessed  will,  to 
be  spared  a  little  longer.  Notwithstanding  the  coldness  of 
the  weather,  and  the  ground  frozen,  such  were  my  feelings, 
that  I  was  all  in  a  profuse  pers[)iration.  My  strength  was 
restored  ;  I  arose  and  returned  to  my  house,  with  a  settled, 
composed  mind  ;  thankful  that  T  v.as  able  to  resume  my 
little  chariic,  jMv  heart  was  tenderly  and  sweetly  drawn 
to  my  blessed  Redeemer.  I  never  felt  more  solemn  in  all 
my  life.  I  was  truly  humble  before  God.  I  said  nothing 
to  my  husband,  nor  to  any  one,  about  the  matter  ;  but  like 
Mary,  pondered  it  iti  ray  heart.  My  soul  was  truly  alive 
to  God.  I  felt  all  things  were  possible  to  those  who  be- 
lieve. It  appeared  to  mc  the  latter-day  glory  was  just  at 
hand,  when  the  promises  to  the  church  would  be  fulfilled. 
IIow  beautifully  the  prophecies  of  Isaiah,  Jeremiah,  and 
others  opened  to  my  mind.  I  could  see  many  signs  of 
their  fulfilment,  and  enjoyed  much  delight  iu  meditating 
upon  them. 

One  morning  I  felt  the  Lord  present  and  exceedingly 
precious  to  my  soul,  and  through  the  day  my  mind  was 
greatly  exercised  ;  whatever  I  did  taught  me  some  useful 
lesson.  When  I  began  to  kindle  up  the  fire,  putting  the 
dead  coals  to  the  living  ones,  then  adding  the  green  wood, 
and  blowing  all  up  into  one  united  body  of  fire,  the  Uving 
coals  appeared  an  emblem  of  lively  and  zealous  Christians ; 


120 


LIFE   AND    EXPEIIIENCE    Of 


the  (lead  coal-;,  tlioso  who   once   were   alive,  but  liad  lost 
their  fire  of  love  ami  holy  zeal  ;  tlie  (rreon  wood,  those  who 

put 


d 


never  come  niuk-r  relmions  nillnencc 


ih 


a  I 


1  b 


em; 


had 

together,  representing  promiscuous  assemblies  :  the  influ- 
ence of  tlie  fire  upon  the  wliole,  the  assiniihiting  power  of 
religious  n)eans,  reconciling  great  differences  ;  the  blowing 
up  of  the  fire  showing  the  spirit's  work  upon  the  whole,  as 


fj 


b 


dead  souh 


ddi 


<Z  to  con- 


a  wmnowi 

victions,  were  converted  into  the  likeness  of  the  livina;  coals, 
and  all  lost  in  one  common  blaze  of  purif ;.  ing  elements, 
divine  love  and  dory  to  God  "I  ani  come  to  send  firo 
on  the  earth  ;  and  what  will  I,  if  it  be  already  kindled  ?  "  — 
Luke  12  :  49.  "  Awake,  0  north  wind  ;  and  come  tliou 
south,  blow  u};on  ray  garden,  tliat  tlie  spices  Lhereof  may 
flow  out.  Let  my  beloved  come  into  his  ganlcn  and  eat 
his  pleasant  fruit."  —  jSoHi/  of  Solomon  4  :   16. 

The  precious  blood  of  Jesus  Christ  can  never  loose  its 
power  and  virtue.  Should  ten  thousand  times  ten  thou- 
sand, and  thousands  of  thousau'ls  of  sinners  come  and  be 
healed,  yet  there  is  room  in  the  arms  of  Jesus,  in  the 
church  militant,  and  in  heaven  abov!    to  receive  them. 

*' Tli(ii:prli  our  i<i:i?  ns  ni"UHtL>ins  ri^o, 
And  swell  iind  rciU'ii  to  li  uveii, 
Tilercy  is  above  tlio  i^kie-; 
We  all  may  be  turgivoii." 

In  preparing  our  food  and  while  sitting  at  the  table,  I 
was  reminded  of  the  Savior,  the  great  head  of  the  church, 
who  is  over  all  the  families  of  the  earth,  and  wdiohas  richlv 
provided  the  bread  and  water  of  life  for  all  his  hands  have 
made. 

''  There  is  a  river,  the  streams  wlicreof  shall  m.ake  i.dad 


^ 


MKti.    MAUY    DKAJjLIiY, 


121 


',1 

(clilv 
[lave 


the  city  of  God  :  the  holy  place  of  the  tabernacles  of  the 
Most  High."  While  meditating  upon  the  compound  na- 
ture of  mankind  —  flesh  and  spirit  —  and  how  wonderfully 
Providence  had  cared  for  the  one,  and  grace  and  mercy 
engage^<  for  the  other,  I  felt  love  to  God  kindle  up  in  my 
heart.  I  went  on  with  my  domestic  concerns  with  great 
pleasure,  my  understanding  being  greatly  assisted  by  a 
comparison  of  temporal  with  spiritual  things. 

In  the  evening,  my  husband  being  weary,  laid  himself 
down  to  rest  and  went  to  sleep.  I  thought  of  waking  him 
to  go  for  the  cows  ;  but  instead  of  doing  so,  I  concluded 
to  go  for  them  myself.  Accordingly  I  went,  with  no  other 
company  than  the  large  dog.  In  going  through  the  woods 
I  followed  the  cattle  track,  my  only  guide,  and  when  I 
got  through  I  heard  a  cow-bell,  which  I  took  for  our  own, 
across  the  wild  meadow  at  a  great  distance,  and  when  I 
came  to  the  meadow-side,  I  found  it  difficult  to  cross,  being 
very  soft  and  grown  over  with  weeds,  grass,  and  thickets 
of  alder  bushes. 

I  thought  of  the  wild  creatures,  and  felt  intimidated. 
They  might  spring  out  upon  me.  I  thought  again,  if  I 
had  been  directed  to  this  as  a  duty,  I  ought  not  to  be  faint- 
hearted ;  but  be  of  good  courage  and  persevere  to  the  end  ; 
having  the  same  object  in  view  as  when  I  set  out.  If  I 
had  consulted  my  own  feelings,  I  should  have  turned  back; 
but  I  thought  that  turning  back  for  fear  of  difficulties 
would  not  do.  It  occurred  to  me,  "  Remember  Lot's 
wife,"  and  ''  They  who  have  put  their  hands  to  the  plough, 
and  looked  back,  are  not  fit  for  the  kingdom." 

I  looked  to  the  Lord  for  direction,  and  putting  my  trust 
in  him,  I  went  forward.     All  the  time  I  was  going  through 
the  wild  meadow  in  pursuit  of  my  earthly  flock,  I  thought, 
11* 


122 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


if  I  only  find  them,  I  shall  be  c'om)<ensatecl  for  all  my 
lahor  ;  so,  in  like  manner,  if  at  length  I  find  that  happy 
Christian  flock  uiih  whom  T  can  delightfully  join,  and  with 
•whom,  like  God's  Israel,  I  may  cross  the  wilderness  of  this 
world,  to  the  promised  Canaan.  I  mused  —  pleased  my- 
self—  pushed  on  —  and  at  length  came  to  the  cows  with 
the  bell ;  but  to  my  great  disappointment,  they  were  not 
mine.  Well,  I  thought,  this  is  calculated  to  teach  me  a 
lessOn. 

I  must  in  future  be  more  influenced  by  substance 
than  by  sound,  and  though  these  are  not  my  cattle,  they 
are  somewhere  to  be  found  ;  though  ray  ardor  has  been 
checked  and  my  hopes  disappointed,  I  will  look  again  ; 
and  after  I  had  travelled  a  while,  I  was  deli^^hted  bv  find- 
ing  them  laying  down  on  a  clean  spot  of  ground.  I  went 
on  my  way  rejoicing  as  one  who  had  found  great  spoil ; 
but,  to  my  grief,  when  I  ascertained  their  number,  one 
was  missing.  0  !  thought  I,  what  a  mixed  world  is  this  — 
near  to  the  highest  suumiit  of  enjovment  there  is  a  preci- 
pice. In  the  marriage  feast  there  was  one  without  a  wed- 
ding garment,  and  he  was  taken  away  from  the  rest.  In 
some  things,  however,  delays  are  not  desperate  cases. 
After  a  while  the  missing  one  came  up  ;  and  then,  like 
the  woman  in  the  gospel,  when  she  had  found  the  lost  piece 
of  money,  my  joy  was  great. 

Milking  my  cows,  and  musing  as  the  evening  shades 
drew  on,  I  thought  I  could  see  the  kind  hand  of  Providence 
in  the  various  exercises  of  the  day  —  listening;  to  the  dif- 
ferent  sounds  of  the  neighbors'  bells  —  the  flocks  all  at 
home  —  the  toils  of  the  day  over  —  man  and  beast  a!:  rest 
—  the  night  is  coming  on  —  an  emblem  of  death  —  where- 
in there  is  neither  work,  knowledge,  or  device.     The  la- 


bo 
0 
th 
ed 


MRS.   MARY   BRADLEY.  joQ 

We.  in  tho  Urd-s  vino,«.l  .il,  soon  oea.o  to  l.bo,.,  and 
U.  ^>.i..t  a  I,a,,,,n,o.3  and  rouanl,  if  at  last   they  meet 
ho.r  var,ou.  flod<,,,  and  sit  .lown  together  with  theif  Ue, 
ed  Lord,  ,n  tlie  kingdom  of  God. 


CHAPTER  XIV 


;* 


The  serious  people  in  our  neighborhood  thinking  it  ne- 
cessary to  embody  themselves  into  a  church,  met  together 
for  that  purpose,  and  finally  concluded  to  organize  them- 
selves into  a  Baptist  church.  At  length  the  set  time  came, 
and  the  people  convened  together,  when  Mr.  C  C.  B,,  who 
■was  the  leading  man,  to  whom  the  people  looked  for  coun- 
sel, stepped  out  on  the  floor,  and  said,  if  any  one  felt  free- 
dom to  take  him  by  the  hand  a?  a  brother,  he  should  be 
glad  if  they  would  come  forward.  While  he  was  standing 
and  giving  the  invitation,  I  felt  a  union  for  the  worship  of 
God  was  desirable  ;  and  thinking,  perhaps  this  is  the  com- 
mencement of  that  happy  church,  of  which  I  had  a  vision- 
ary view  so  long  time  ago,  I  stepped  forward  and  joined 
Mr.  B.  The  nexL  who  came  forward  were  those  with 
whom  I  could  not  feel  a  union,  and  I  lost  that  happy  frame 
of  mind,  and  never  afterwards  regained  the  same  feeling. 
A  sufficient  number  of  persons  went  forward  to  constitute 
a  church ;  but  for  want  of  an  ordained  minister,  the  ordi- 
dances  were  not  administered  until  the  summer  following ; 
previous  to  which  we  removed  to  the  parish  of  Portland, 
about  two  miles  from  the  cit^  of  Saint  John,  so  that  I  never 
became  a  member   of  that  body.     Some  time   after,  a 

preacher  visited  the  above  named  newlv  formed  church. 

124 


iUite 


MKS.    MARY    BRADLKY. 


125 


ieling. 
ititute 

ordi- 

ving ; 
l-tland, 

never 
fter,  a 

lurch. 


aivl  for  a  time  seemed   to  appro^-tate   and  unite  ^vith  the 
peo[)le  ;  hut  at  once  he  he^u;an  to  exclaim  ag;iinst  rehgioiis 


cxiierience,  and  mv 


hroll 


ler  ueiu: 


led 


awav  wi 


thl 


lis  error, 


renounced  his  profession  iA'  ex[)erimental  religion,  and  en- 
deavored to  induce  me  to  do  the  same.  I  said  to  him,  if 
you  have  been  deluded,  I  am  sure  1  have  not.  In  order 
to  be  confirme(l  in  my  mind  to  hold  fast  my  integrity,  I 
Avas  led  to  examine  myself;  survey  my  past  experience, 
trace  my  footsteps  and  designs  in  evm-y  thing.  Though  I 
discovered  much  imperfection  in  myscdf,  I  was  confident 
ray  chief  motive  liad  been  to  do  the  will  of  God,  from  the 
time  he  had  first  revealed  himself  to  me  ;  therefore  I  did 
not  feel  condemnation  before  him.  I  knew  if  I  had  been 
deceived  in  any  way,  it  had  I'dii  through  ignorance,  and 
not  by  wilfully  departing  from  the  path  of  duty. 

My  brother's  conduct  had  occasioned  a  degree  of  confu- 
sion in  my  mind,  and  painful  feelings  on  his  account,  and 
close  reasoning  wiih  myself.  I  came  to  this  conclusion  :  I 
wish  to  be  a  true  Christian;  it  is  v»hat  I  have  sougiit  after, 
and  whatever  discouragements  I  may  meet  with,  I  am  de- 
termined to  fight  my  way  throng; i. 

I  carefullv  read  over  what  I  h:id  written  of  the  exercises 

V 

of  my  mind,  and  when  I  came  to  date  1788,  recorded  on 
the  oOt'  page,  my  first  experience  of  pardoning  mercy,  I 
was  enabled  to  hold  it  fast,  and  Batan  could  not  rob  me 
of  it. 

The  first  cori'cct  view  I  had  of  myself,  I  was  in  a  state 
of  ignorance,  darkness,  and  despair.  I  had  no  knowledge 
of  the  mercy  and  love  of  God,  or  of  Jesus  Christ  as  a  Sa- 
vior and  Redeemer. 

When  I  was  first  awakened  to  a  sense  of  my  wretched 
sLate  by  nature,  I  felt  myself  entirely  unable  to  help  my- 


120 


Lll'E    ANI»    tXl'KUlKNCi:   OF 


1.1: 


self,  either  to  cancel  my  guilt  or  remove  the  Divine  dis- 
pleasure clue  to  it ;  and  ^vhen  I  first  heard  the  inviting 
voice  of  the  gospel  to  turn  to  the  Lord  and  live,  I  found 
Satan  to  oppose  me  in  every  effort  I  made  to  ohcy  that 
voice  ;  until  then  it  appeared  as  if  he  was  perfectly  qules^ 
cent.  AVlien  I  first  bc;^an  to  listen  attentively  to  the  word 
of  God,  a  degree  of  faith  and  divine  light  were  imparted, 
so  that  I  then  believed  him  both  able  and  willing  to  save  ; 
and  if  T  sought  him  with  my  whole  heart,  I  should  surely 
find  him,  according  to  his  promise.  I  felt  encouraged, 
and  strove  with  all  the  faculties  of  my  mind,  wrestling 
and  strivhig  against  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the  devil, 
until  I  was  enabled  by  grace  to  obtain  a  complete  victory 
over  them. 

When  I  was  made  sensible  of  the  sinfidness  and  odious  na- 
ture of  sin  in  the  sight  of  God,  with  what  heart-i'cndings  did 
I  bow  before  him,  with  penitential  sorrow,  like  the  publican 
pleading  for  mercy.  I  hungered  and  thirsted  after  righte- 
ousness, determined  never  to  cease  praying  until  I  felt  an 
application  of  it  to  my  soul.  Glory  be  to  his  holy  name,  he 
who  led  me  to  seek  lent  a  listening  ear  to  my  cry,  and 
took  me  out  of  the  horrible  pit  and  miry  clay,  and  set  my 
feet  upon  the  rock,  established  my  goings  anu  put  a  new 
song  into  my  lips,  even  thanksgiving  and  praise  unto  him, 
■who  had  redeemed  me,  and  washed  me  in  his  most  pre- 
cious blood.  I  w'as  enabled  by  his  grace  to  enter  into  a 
solemn  covenant  with  him,  never  to  be  forgotten  ;  promis- 
ing to  be  his,  to  deny  myself  and  live  obediently  to  his 
holy  gospel.  My  mind  was  placed  upon  heavenly  things, 
with  a  blooming  hope  and  unshaken  confidence,  that  where 
my  Savior  is  I  shall  be,  when  called  from  this  vale  of 
tears.     Since  the  attainment  of  salvation  by  grace  I  have 


MRS.    MAKY    BRADLEY 


\2\ 


lungs, 

^vhere 

lie  of 

liavo 


often  been  powerfully  assailed  by  Satan  in  various  ways  ; 
so  that  I  have  seen  the  absolu  necessity  of  closely  walk- 
ing with  God,  and  looking  up  to  him  to  be  preserved  from 
the  delusions  of  sin  and  Satan's  power. 

The  strong  and  satisfactory  proof  that  I  was  not  delud- 
ed or  deceived,  as  my  brother  stated,  appeared  plainly  to 
mvself ;  for  I  had  deserted  the  service  of  Satan,  and  had 
been  for  years  constantly  fighting  against  him  and  had  en- 
listed under  the  banner  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  to  whom  I  had 
fled  for  refuge,  and  found  his  yoke  easy  and  his  burden 
light ;  and  the  ways  of  religion  to  be  ways  of  pleasantness, 
and  her  paths  peace. 

I  have  carefully  marked  down  some  of  the  temptations 
I  met  with  the  first  seventeen  months  of  my  pilgrimage. 
In  reviewing  that  part  of  my  journal,  I  feel  a  firm  convic- 
tion that  I  was  taught  of  God.  I  felt  aAvitnessin  mvsoul 
that  I  had  been  enabled  by  his  grace,  to  build  my  hopes 
of  heaven  upon  the  rock  Christ  Jesus,  a  sure  foundation  ; 
for  which  I  felt  thankful. 

On  examining  the  past  exercises  of  my  mind,  according 
to  the  date  above  named ;  when  I  was  led  in  a  different 
way  from  what  I  had  ever  been  before,  and  treated  them 
as  temptations,  and  strove  against  them  ;  but  when,  by  the 
force  of  truth,  my  mind  was  overpowered,  I  was  obliged 
to  yield  —  I  began  to  view  them  as  the  power  of  God, 
and  strove  no  more  against  them,  considering  myself  in 
the  hands  of  God,  who  had  a  sovereign  right  to  do  as  he 
pleased,  and  I  became  fully  convinced  it  was  the  Spirit  of 
God  preparing  mo  for  those  things  through  which  I  have 
subsequently  passed. 

When  I  was  impelled  to  go  forward  to  take  up  any 
cross,  though  ever  so  much  against  my  will,  if  it  accorded 


128 


LTFH   AND    EXPEllIEXCE   OF 


■'i 


1 


4' 

i 


^vith  the  Scriptures,  I  felt  encouraged  to  it  by  tlie  prom- 
ises, and  urged  on  by  a  burning  zeal  to  do  his  will. 

For  the  space  of  ten  years,  I  could  not  have  separated 
things,  and  distinguished  between  righteousness  and  sin, 
truth  and  error,  had  I  not  been  taught  by  the  Holy  Bible  ; 
but  by  the  many  -witnesses  and  conhrniations  of  the  Word 
of  God  hy  the  mouth  of  his  prophets,  my  mind  was  raised 
to  an  expectation  of  some  great  events  as  being  just  at 
hand — the  downfall  of  Satan's  kingdom,  and  the  ad- 
vancement of  the  kingdom  of  Christ. 

My  mind  -was  so  deej)ly  engaged,  and  I  had  such  a 
spirit  of  prayer  given  me  for  the  fulfilment  of  those  events 
foretold,  that  I  ilattered  mvsciF  I  should  see  the  glorious 
millenium  before  I  departed  this  life  ;  but  it  occurred  to 
me,  that  probably  there  would  be  great  overturns  in  the 
Avorld,  of  a  different  nature,  before  that  event — perhaps 
wars,  and  distress  of  nations,  in  order  to  bring  down  the 
pride  and  haughtiness  of  man.  Perhaps  thousands,  and 
tens  of  thousands  '-ut  oiT  from  the  earth  by  pestilence, 
and  famine,  such  as  would  not  bow  to  the  sceptre  of  Jesus. 

"Witli  what  tenderness  of  heart,  and  sympathy,  did  I 
meditate  upon  those  tilings.  In  whatever  my  hands  were 
engaged,  those  were  my  meditations,  and  to  dwell  upon  them 
was  mv  chief  deli::ht.  But  alas!  bcinii!  charj^ed  with  de- 
lusion,  my  hopes  are  all  fallacious ;  zeal  for  God,  a  false 
flattery  :  fire  of  love,  sparks  of  my  own  kindling,  and 
must  be  repented  of.  How  shall  I  then  reconcile  those 
solemn  Scriptural  exercises,  and  the  comfort  of  my  mind 
by  the  application  of  the  Word  of  God  ?  There  is  a  way 
and  a  highway,  and  tlic  redeemed  of  the  Lord  shall  walk 
there.  God  is  just  and  holy,  and  all  his  promises  are 
sure  ;  his  word  is  truth.      Heaven  and  earth  shall  pass 


MKS.    MA!         T^RADL^ 


19 


those 

I  mind 

■way 

walk 

are 

pass 


away;  but  nr.t  one  jot  or  tittle  of  divine  tnit  will  fai  'o 
the  ground.  If  on  any  occasion  we  step  asi  !■  "vn  the  ./li- 
chanted  ground,  where  Satan,  like  a  roaring  lion,  stands 
readv  to  devour  ;  and  if  i<];norant  of  his  devices,  he  inav 
speak  with  a  voice  to  counterfeit  reli,i?ion  ;  and  if  listened 
to,  though  ever  so  sweet  at  the  time,  we  shall  fuid  it  hit- 
terncss  in  the  end  ;  and  if  this  should  he  the  ciise,  we 
cannot  charge  it  upon  our  Maker,  hut  upon  ourselves,  for 
want  of  greater  watchfulness,  a  closer  walk  with  Cod, 
and  a  firmer  de]iendence  upon  our  Redeemer's  merits.  I 
have  endeavored  to  act  Avith  a  sincere  desire  to  do  the 
will  of  (jod,  nor  can  I  accuse  myself  of  false  zeal,  deceit, 
unwatclifulness,  or  want  of  confidence  in  mv  Savior's 
merits  ;  therefore  conscience  does  not  accuse  me. 

I  thought,  could  it  be  possible  that  I  could  be  deceived, 
when  the  Scriptures  Avcre  mv  delight,   and  I  was  dailv 

1  %/  CD  ■^  %/ 

searching  them,  and  endeavoring  to  take  them  for  my 
guide  ?  and  I  could  appeal  to  conscience,  and  the  Searcher 
of  hearts  that  it  had  been  mv  chief  studv  to  kno-.v  and  do 
his  Avill.  But  alas  !  how  shortdived  -sveie  the  comforts  I 
could  derive  from  conscience,  unless  the  Spirit  of  God 
testified  that  he  was  reconciled  unto  me.  1  knew  my 
own  heart  was  deceitful,  and  that  I  had  a  subtle  adver- 
sary to  op})Ose,  and  that  I  Avas  liable  to  wander;  but  my 
great  dependence  had  been  the  ariplication  of  God's  Word 
to  my  soul,  Avhich  I  had  always  taken  as  a  pledge  from 
him  of  joy  to  come.  I  had  not  been  aware  that  Satan 
could  counterfeit  his  voice  to  mv  soul,  to  deceive  me  ;  but 
when  I  read  the  account  of  our  Savior's  fasting  and  temp- 
tation in  the  Avilderuess,  I  was  more  reconciled  to  the  pos- 
sibility of  it. 
12 


■  / 


180 


LIFK    AND    KXPlCKlENCli    01' 


Luke,  Chap.  4. — And  Josus  beinj  full  of  the  Holy  Ghost,  ro- 
turiiod  from  Jordan,  Jiiid  wn.s  led  by  the  Spirit  into  tlio  wihicrness, 

Hi'in:^  f  )rty  days  lemptfd  of  the  devil.  And  in  tl)O30  dnys  ho 
did  «.';it  nothing:  and  whun  thoy  were  ended,  he  allerward  hun- 
glared. 

And  the  devil  said  unto  him,  If  thou  bo  the  Son  of  God,  com- 
niand  tliis  Hfone  that  it  bo  made  broad. 

And  .ft'siid  answored  him,  saying,  It  is  written,  That  man  shall 
not  live  by  bread  alone,  bnt  by  every  word  of  (iod. 

And  the  dovi!,  taking  him  nj)  into  an  higli  mountain,  shewed 
unto  him  all  tho  kingdoms  of  the  world  in  a  moment  of  time. 

And  the  devil  said  unto  him,  All  this  power  will  I  give  thee,  and 
the  glory  of  them:  for  that  is  delivered  unto  nie,  and  to  whomso- 
ever I  will,  I  give  it. 

If  tliuu  therefore  wilt  worship  me,  all  shall  be  thine. 

And  Jesus  answered  and  said  unto  him,  (iet  thee  behind  me, 
Satan:  for  it  is  written,  Thou  shalt  worship  the  Lord  thy  Ciod,  and 
him  only  shalt  thou  serve. 

And  he  brought  him  to  Jerusalem,  and  set  him  on  a  pinnacle  of 
the  temple,  and  said  unto  him,  If  thou  bo  the  Son  of  God,  cast 
thyself  down  from  hence. 

For  it  is  written,  He  shall  give  his  angels  charge  over  thee,  to 
keep  thee: 

And  in  their  hands  they  shall  bear  thee  up,  lest  at  any  time  thou 
dash  thy  foot  against  a  stone. 

And  Jesus  answering,  said  unto  him.  It  is  said,  Thou  shalt  not 
tempt  the  Lord  thy  God. 

And  when  the  devil  had  ended  all  the  temptation,  he  departed 
from  him  for  a  season. 


While  reading  the  above,  I  thought,  here  is  a  lesson  for 
me ;  surely,  if  Satan  was  permitted  in  this  waj  to  tempt 
the  Savior,  no  wonder  that  I  should  be  tempted.  I  sa\v 
clearly,  that  as  Jesus,  who  knew  no  sin,  was  tempted,  sin 
did  not  consist  in  being  tempted,  but  in  yielding  to  the 
temptation. 

St.  Paul's  words  frequently  occurred  to  my  mind,  "  1 


Mttb.    Al.MiV    JJUAUM'A'. 


l'6\ 


ro- 


lon  for 

tempt 

|l  saw 

d,  sin 
[o  the 

L  "I 


thpret'ore  obtuindl  mercv,  bccfiiBo  I  did  it  iu:norantlv  ;  " 
which  iMJcouraged  my  liopo,  and  s'lpportcd  my  mind,  jiar- 
ticuhirly  whL'n  cast  down  by  a  hcmisc  of  my  own  unwor- 
ihincsa  and  i.uuK'rous  omissiuns. 

Nciilit'i'  my  ton;5iie  or  pen  can  ever  deacril<o  the  shamo 
and  mortllicaiion  which  my  sclfabasemcnt  at  times  pro- 
d\iced.  1  thought  jicrhaps  my  mind  had  been  untluly 
raised,  when  I  was  led  to  studv  the  hinifuaLie  ot'  the  in- 
Si)irod  prophets  ;  the  pure  word  kindled  up  in  my  soul 
such  a  flame  of  burnini;  zeal  for  the  glory  of  God,  and  at 
times  1  was  so  happy,  that  I  thou;j;ht  I  enjoyed  the  same 
spirit,  and  could  see  eve  to  eve  with  them.  Mv  mind 
was  so  delightfully  taken  up,  that  the  necessary  carco  ' 
life  seemed  a  burden,  and  the  religion  I  enjoyed  a  sa  s- 
fying  portion  to  my  suul. 

I  thought,  now  if  all  this  be  a  mistake,  how  shall  il  be 
rectified?  which  way  shall  I  turn  ?  what  method  shall  I 
take?  I  thought  I  wouhl  not  re  .  I  the  propheis,  espe- 
cially Isaiah,  in  which  I  had  taken  such  delight,  lest  my 
mind  should  be  imduly  elevated,  as  it  had  been  before  ; 
but  I  would  conlinc  my  reading  chiefly  to  tlu;  Xew  i  es" 
tament  —  not  because  I  thought  the  pro})hecies  were  cal- 
culated to  mislead,  by  ni.»  means  ;  but  because  I  thought 
l^\atan  had  taken  the  advantage  of  mv  weakness  t<^  capti- 
vate  my  miii'l  and  v»-eakcn  my  confidence.  I  thought 
there  was  nothing  in  the  New  Testaujcut,  excepting  in 
ilevelation,  which  was  calculated  to  affect  the  jiassions  ; 
and  I  would  be  cautious  in  reading  that  book  also.  Ac- 
cordingly I  put  my  new  resolutions  into  practice  ;  for  I 
read  the  Scriptures  every  day  in  family  worship,  both 
night  and  morning,  as  I  had  always  done,  from   the   time 


182 


MRS.    MAKV     liilADLEV. 


I  commenced  house-keeping.      lUit  the   language   of  my 
heart  was, 

"  Vt'l'ore  i*  the  lile-.-eilnc-s  I  knew 

When  first  I  saw  the  Lord  V 
Wiiere  is  that  ?ouI-refre<liin--vicv,- 

Of  Jesus  and  his  Word  ? 
What  peaceful  hours  I  then  enjoyed  1 

How  sweet  their  inemory  still  1 
Rut  now  I  fiiid  an  achinjr  void, 

The  world  can  never  fill. 
IJeturn  :  0  holy  Dove,  return  ; 

Sweet  messenger  of  rest ! 
I  hate  the  sins  which  made  thee  mourn  — 

That  drove  thee  from  mv  breast. 


^v 


CHAPTER    XV. 


In  the  following  year,  the  spnng  freshet  being  high,  I 
was  much  afraid  for  the  safety  of  our  house ;  standing 
close  upon  the  river  bank,  it  was  in  danger  of  being  car- 
ried away.  When  I  perceived  the  ice  first  move,  I  stood 
trembling  for  the  consequences  :  but  I  soon  saw  the  kind 
Hand  displayed  in  preserving  to  us  our  humble  dwelling. 
I  felt  reproved  for  my  timiditv,  that  my  faith  should  so 
give  way  to  fear. 

These  words  were  continually  occurring  to  m}'  mind, 
"  If  thou  hast  run  with  the  footmen,  and  thev  have  wearied 
thee,  then  how  canst  thou  contend  with  horses  ?  And  if 
in  the  land  of  peace,  wherein  thou  trustedst,  they  weaned 
thee,  then  how  wilt  thou  do  in  the  swelling  of  Jordan  ?  " 
—  Jer.  12  :  5.  At  first,  I  did  not  comprehend  the  drift 
of  the  passage  ;  but  after  a  little  consideration,  I  clearly 
saw  it  contained  this  caution  :  If  I  am  overcome  with 
anxious  cares  about  little  trials,  how  shall  I  contend  with 
greater  ones  ?  and  if  I  am  terrified  with  imaginary  dan- 
ger, what  shall  I  do  in  the  hour  of  death?  I  felt  it  was 
an  evil  to  give  way  to  those  distressing,  slavish  fears, 
which  rob  us  of  our  peace,  and  derogate  from  the  glory 
of  God.  This  fresh  discovery  of  my  own  weakness  dis- 
12*  '  *  Ion 


134 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


posed  me  to  renewed  and  vigorous  efforts  for  a  complete 
victory  over  myself,  the  world,  and  sin. 

Thou'^h  fullv  satisfied  of  mv  channre  from  nature  to 
grace,  regenerated  by  the  S[iirit's  power,  and  possessing 
a  hope  of  happiness  beyond  the  grave,  yet  I  was  no  longer 
safe  than  while  1  continued  to  watch,  and  pray,  and  sim- 
ply to  my  God  disjilay  my  every  care  and  want. 

After  we  had  removed  from  the  above  described  situa- 
tion to  Portland,  ha\'ing  heard  there  was  a  ^Methodist 
minister  and  society  in  St.  John,  I  concluded  to  go  to 
their  place  of  worship.  For  many  years,  I  had  deter- 
mined to  join  that  peoi)le,  if  Providence  should  favor  mi 
with  the  privilege.  Accordingly,  after  I  became  settled 
in  my  new  habitation,  I  made  it  my  business  to  find  them 
out ;  and  though  I  lived  over  two  miles  from  the  city,  I 
was  seldom  absent,  when  the  Aveather  would  permit.  I. 
heard  with  great  attention,  was  pleased  with  the  doctrine, 
and  believed  they  Avere  the  peo^de  of  God.  I  concluded 
to  be  more  reserved  on  i-eligious  subjects,  thinking  I  had 
erred  in  too  freely  o})ening  my  mind,  and  that  I  would 
not  even  hint  that  I  had  experienced  religion.  Eut  I 
found  this  course  brought  no  relief  to  my  mind ;  I  still 
remained  in  a  state  of  heaviness. 

Many  difficulties  bestrewed  my  path ;  for  two  years  I 
had  suffered  from  weakness  in  my  back,  for  which  I  could 
find  no  cure,  and  continued  to  suffer.  My  husband  was 
likewise  greatly  afflicted  with  rheumatism  ;  and  our  busi- 
ness required  much  exertion.  Those  trials  greatly  weighed 
down  my  mind,  and  many  little  disappointments  in  our 
concerns,  harrassed  me  with  an  idea  that  God  was  about 
to  visit  us  with  his  judgments,  and  these  were  tokens  of 
liis  displeasure  ;  and  that  he  would  stri})  us  of  our  worldly 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


135 


|V3    i 

lould 
Avaa 

BjusI- 
;licd 
our 

l)OUt 

of 
Ikllv 


property,  and  leave  us  destitute  of  the  common  blessings 
of  life.  When  for  a  moment  I  jielded  to  such  feehiigs, 
my  distress  Avas  intolerable.  When  that  Avas  the  case,  I 
Avould  go  to  the  throne  of  grace,  and  pour  out  my  soul  to 
God,  pleading  for  strength  according  to  my  day,  that  I 
might  be  -willing  to  be  what  he  -would  have  me,  and  cheer- 
fully suffer  all  his  rifj;hteous  will.  Thus  I  -would  be  often 
greatly  relieved,  and  think  I  would  not  give  way  to  such 


feel 


mgs  a  gam ; 


but   ah 


dd 


again 


as ;  my  temi)tations  wouit 
return,  and  I  had  no  strength  to  resist  them:  yet  I  would 
not  say  one  word  to  mv  husband,  to  let  him  know  the  suf- 
ferings  of  my  mind.  le:-t  he  might  be  in  the  same  dis- 
heartened state,  and  I  should  make  him  more  so.  But 
when  he  would  express  any  cliscouragement,  I  would  ira- 
meiliately  muster  up  all  my  fortitude,  and  encourage  him 
to  hope  for  the  best,  and  perhaps  things  would  turn  out 
better  than  our  boding  fears. 

In  our  new  habitation,  we  were  necullarlv  situated. 
Uur  pii'oduce  consisted  chiefly  of  hay  and  stock  ;  and  the 
wcalher  being  veiy  dam])  and  foggy,  and  sometimes  for 
days  together  we  could  not  see  the  sun,  it  caused  hay- 
making to  be  both  dlfiicult  and  expensive.  Our  prosper- 
ity depending  so  much  upon  g(  od  weather,  that  when  it 
Avas  otherwise,  I  felt  distressed,  lest  our  expenditure 
should  exceed  our  income. 

Sometimes  I  feared  the  sun  would  never  shine  upon  us 
again  :  but  the  sight  of  it,  Avhich  occasioned  great  joy, 
e'xposed  and  reproved  my  foolish  imaginations. 

In  this  Avay  I  struggled  on  for  two  or  three  years,  after 
I  came  to  Portland.  At  length  I  began  to  consider,  It 
is  a  long  time  to  live  Avithout  any  fresh  manifestation  of 
^Tod's  love  to  my  soul.     IIoav  do  I  know  but  I  shall   at 


136 


LIFE  AND  Exri:Rii:NrK  or 


last  be  dismppoiiited  I  I  have  been  hoping  and  trusting 
that  notwithstanding  all  raj  discouragements,  I  should  bo 
saved  in  the  hour  of  death  —  be  received  into  heaven,  and 
be  eternally  happy.  How  lamentable  would  be  the  con- 
sequences, should  it  at  last  be  found  that  I  had  built  upon 
a  false  foundation,  and  become  a  cast-away ;  but  mien  I 
examined  myself,  and  the  ground  on  which  I  stood,  I 
could  not  feel  terror,  nor  the  fear  of  death.  I  thought  if  I 
might  be  placed  where  I  could  behold  the  face  of  my 
Savior,  I  should  be  happy,  were  1,  the  least  of  all,  admit- 
ted into  his  presence. 

When  those  thoughts  yiassed  through  my  mind,  I  felt  a 
dc!iree  of  tenderness  which  encouraged  me  to  believe  there 
still  remained  in  my  heart  a  true  regard  and  preference 
for  mv  blessed  Savior.  Although  I  was  almost  afraid  to 
claim  him  as  my  Savior  and  my  God,  because  I  did  not 
enjoy  a  living  witness  that  he  was  then  reconciled  unto 
me,  yet  I  did  not  cast  away  my  confidence,  nor  hope  of 
heaven;  I  felt  it  as  an  anchor  to  mv  soul:  but  still  mv 
heart  longed  for  that  which  so  exhilarates  nature  —  the 
green  freshness  of  a  present  shower  of  blessing.  I  thought, 
though  Satan  has  been  tempting  and  accusing  me,  the 
Lord  is  not  so  much  offended  with  me  as  I  have  imagined. 
It  may  be,  that  much  of  the  uneasiness  and  confusion  of 
my  mind  was  occasioned  by  my  own  infirmity  and  bodily 
weakness,  being  low-spirited  and  nervous  ;  in  future,  I 
concluded  to  guard  against  whatever  would  tend  to  its 
promotion,  and  feed  the  disorder.  It  had  been  my  con- 
stant habit,  when  alone,  to  think  and  Aveep,  as  well  as  to 
work  and  pray ;  but  when  I  began  to  mix  with  those 
duties,  more  singing,  and  exercise  in  the  open  air,  amu- 
sing myself  with  l)otany,  and  the  beauties  of  nature,  1 


.MK,6.    MARY    BRAi>LE\. 


137 


lught, 
,  the 
lined, 
ton  of 
odilv 
Ire,  I 
to  its 
con- 
las  to 
[those 
amu- 
(re,  1 


gained  strenp:ch,  and  got  a  great   viotorv  over  those  dls- 
trossing  nervous  feelings. 

It  uiLrdcd  me  great  encouragement  to  discover  th;it 
mv  nervousness  and  Satan  were  eomhined  enemies  against 
niv  suul ;  and  instead  of  God  hedging  uj)  mv  -wav,  and 
liurling  his  threatened  judgments,  it  Avas  a  stratagem  of 
the  enemy  to  discoin-age,  overlhrow,  and  drive  me  into 
despair  of  providential  mercies,  which  was  nearly  allied 
to  desnairlmr  of  mv  soul's  salvation. 

1  found  I  had  a  groat  eueuiy  In  my  house  —  mv  own 
evil  heart,  the  oorruiitions  of  my  nature  —  which  took  in 
the  love  of  the  world. 

I  saw  the  necessity  of  being  wholly  given  np  to  God, 
in  humble  submission  to  his  holv  and  blessed  will,  to  have 
his  luve  mote  shed  abroad  in  mv  heart;  and  I  felt  en- 
couraged  to  believe  I  should  obtain  it. 

After  mv  husband  had  diseharL^ed  his  workmen  from 
liav-makin'i,  1  felt  truly  thankful,  tliinkinir  1  should  have 
more  time  for  meditation  and  prayer  ;  in  the  latter  of 
which  I  immediately  eni^aized  with  conlidenee,  trusting 
lie  would  meet  with  me  and  bless  me.  i\ly  heart  was 
broken  before  him,  a  precious  promise  was  appalled,  and 
tears  of  gratitude  flowed  from  mv  eves;  which  caused 
me  to  rejoice  in  his  tender  mercv.  Mr  tears  were  before 
from  grief,  thinking  I  had  oil'ended  the  iiOrd,  and  he  had 
withdrawn,  and  1  knew  not  where  to  fnul  him  ;  but  now  I 
!~hed  tears  of  gratitude,  because  1  hail  receive  u  some 
tokens  of  his  favor,  lii/pe  sprung  up  in  my  soul,  and 
such  rays  of  light  as  discovered  to  me  the  fountain  of  sin 
and  corruption  which  remained  in  my  heart. 

I  searched  the  Scriptures,  and  prayed  for  divine  assist- 
ance to  ascertain  the  Christian's   pniviloge.      I   fjund  it 


138 


IJI-'L;    and    liXPliUIK.SM^E    OJ' 


wi'ittcn,  "  0  that  mv  people  lunl  hearkened  unto  me  !    I 

those 


i 


%. 


soon  sliouM  have  subdued  their  enemies."  From 
■words,  I  was  eonvinced  it  was  ])0S9ib!e  tor  God's  people, 
by  the  aid  of  his  Holy  Spirit,  to  conquer  all  their  spiritual 
enemies,  and  that  they  should  be  as  ashes  under  the  soles 
of  their  feet.  Having  obtained  that  faith,  I  was  deter- 
mined to  prove  the  truth  of  it,  by  exerting  myself  in  the 
strength  of  the  Lord,  to  watch  against  the  evil  spirit, 
and  to  resist  him. 

I  made  a  business  of  searching  the  commands  of  God, 
for  he  has  said,  "  If  ye  love  me,  keep  my  command- 
ments," and  "  Love  not  the  worhl,  nor  the  things  of  the 
world,  for  Avhosoever  loveth  the  world,  the  love  of  the 
Father  is  not  in  him."  When  comparing  these  words 
with  my  past  anxieties  about  my  vrorldly  concerns,  I  saw 
clearly  I  had  too  much  love  to  this  world,  otherwise  I 
should  not  have  been  so  much  afraid  of  losing  it ;  and  if 
my  own  will  was  in  subje':;tion  to  the  will  of  God,  and  I 
had  such  a  measure  of  grace  as  1  ought,  I  could  have  put 
my  whole  trust  in  the  Lord,  and  should  not  have  been  so 
much  overcom.e  by  the  temptations  of  Satan. 

"  l]e  careful  for  nothing ;  but  in  every  thing  by  prayer 
and  supplication,  with  thatd<sgiving,  let  your  requests  be 
made  known  unto  the  Lord,  and  the  peace  of  God  which 
passeth  all  understanding  shall  keep  your  heart  and  mind 
through  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord.  All  thin2;s  shall  work 
together  for  good  to  them  that  love  God."  While  read- 
ing these  jirecious  truths,  and  the  promises  of  God,  I  saw 
such  beauty  and  harmony  in  the  attributes  and  perfec- 
tions of  Deity,  and  that  his  children  should  be  holy,  that 
they  might  be  eternally  happy,  I  thought  all  I  wanted 
WPS  faith  and  love,  and  to  become  as  a  little  child  before 


MRS.    M AUV     liKADLHV 


180 


him,  that  all  the  promises  might  be  mine.  What  should 
I  want  more  in  this  world,  but  to  enjoy  h\s  perfect  love 
continually  shed  abroad  in  my  heart  ? 

Love  is  the  fulfilling  of  the  law,  and  perfect  love  ca>;t- 
eth  out  all  fear.  AVhile  reading,  praying,  and  medita- 
ting, I  felt  such  a  thirsting  for  holiness  of  heart,  that  I 
could  say,  "  As  the  hart  panteth  for  the  water  broi)ks,  so 
mv  soul  panteth  for  the  living  God."  I  Ionise. i  to  have 
his  lovely  image  enstamped  upon  my  heart,  and  was  fully 
determined  never  to  rest  until  I  had  obtained  it. 

While  I  was  breathing  out  mv  soul  to  (Jod  in  earnest 
prayer,  I  felt  many  precious  promises  applied  to  encour- 
age me  that  the  Lord  heard,  and  would  answer  my  prayer. 
"  Though  the  vision  tarry,  wait  for  it ;  for  in  the  end  it 
shall  speak,  and  shall  not  tarry."  "Draw  nigh  to  God, 
and  he  will  draw  nigh  to  you."  "  In  tjie  Avorld  ye  shall 
have  tribulation,  but  in  me  ye  shall  have  peace  ;  be  of 
jiood  cheer,  I  have  overcome  the  world."  I  tho\in;ht 
much  of  these  -words,  '•  0  that  my  people  had  hearkened 
imto  me  !  "  I  thouixht  this  hearkenin;jr  was  not  of  the 
ear  only,  but  the  soul  hearkening  to  the  still,  small  voice 
of  the  Spirit  speaking  to  our  hearts,  applying  the  promi- 
ses, and  we  acting  faith  upon  them,  and  receiving  them 
as  from  the  Lord  ;  and  in  doing  so,  we  should  come  oft" 
more  than  conquerors  through  him  who  hath  loved  us. 
For  this  faith  I  prayed  earnestly — I  wrestled  for  it  until 
the  break  of  day ;  so  that  when  I  was  assaulted  with  Sa- 
tan's fiery  darts,  which  was  often  the  case,  for  he  still 
strove  to  keep  the  highest  ground  in  my  heart,  I  would 
not  stop  to  reason  with  him,  but  would  immediately  look 
up  to  God  for  strength,  and  exclaim.  The  Lord  rebuke 
thee.  Satan. 


140 


MFR    \XD   cxfEarnxcK  m- 


Sora3ti:ne=?,  whon  upon  mv  knees  in  secret,  Sntan  would 
sua:a:est  thin'.'s  to  mo  in  sucli  a  wav  tliat  T  would  almost 
lost;  the  sons'3  of  wluit  I  was  sannir;  then  beino;  sensible 
of  the  subtility  of  the  alversarv,  I  would  "wnit  in  silence 
before  the  Lord,  and  aj^peal  to  him  who  i-eads  tlin  heart, 
and  knows  what  we  stand  in  need  of  before  we  ask  him  ; 
and  in  that  ^vay  I  would  pray  for  Satan's  downfall.  I 
would  pray  that  his  kin^'dom  nii;iht  fall  as  lightnini^  to 
the  iz 


round  —  that  the  time  miii;1it  soon  come  when  he 
should  be  confined  to  his  own  place,  when  he  should  de- 
ceive the  nations  no  more  —  and  thnt  the  kiniidom  of 
Christ  should  be  advanced  in  the  Avorhl,  his  name  f^lori- 
fied,  and  all  the  nations  of  the  earth  bowed  to  his  ri;.^ht- 
eous  sceptre. 

In  this  way  I  have  boon  enabled  to  overcome  tempta- 
tions. When  I  have  been  under  any  particular  worldly 
trials,  Satan  had  his  particular  temptations  to  a<2;f];ravato 
and  add  to  my  afflictions.  In  the  mornin^u;,  as  soon  as  I 
awoke,  he  was  sure  to  pierce  rie  with  his  fiery  darts, 
which  o-rieved  and  distressed  me.  At  length  I  was  deter- 
mined, if  possible,  to  conquer.  As  soon  as  temptations 
assailed  me.  I  would  rise  and  wrestle  Avitli  Cod  in  prayer, 
until  I  would  find  my  mind  quite  relieved. 

X  went  on  in  this  way  until  I  found  a  great  and  happj' 
change  ;  for  Avhen  I  awoke,  instead  of  evil  presentations, 
I  would  feel  the  Spirit  of  God  a})plying  some  sweet  pas- 
sage of  Scripture  to  my  mind  ;  thus  raising  me  from  my 
slumbers  to  the  delightful  exercises  of  praise  and  i)rayer, 
in  Avhich  I  found  the  Lord  to  be  present  and  precious  to 
mv  soul.  I  found  these  means  sireatlv  baffled  mv  old 
enemy,  and  proved  to  me   a  great  blessing,  by  quicken- 


MRS.    MARY    BUADLKY. 


141 


Itions, 


las- 


I 


aver, 
ms  to 


old 


els 


en- 


ing,  strengtlioning,  enlivening,  and  increasing  my  zeal  in 
the  cause  of  (lod. 

I  contracted  a  habit  of  awaking  and  rising  nearly  at 
the  hour  of  five  in  th.c:  morning,  both  summer  and  winter. 
J\Iv  ^  'ace  of  private  devotions  was  an  under-ground  dairy 
room  ;  which  in  the  Avinter  was  used  fn*  a  cellar  for  veg- 
etables ;  protected  from  the  frost  I,.  '  •  out-house  over  it, 
with  a  door  to  go  down  stairs — and  this  was  my  ])lace  of 
devotion  in  winter.  Many  times  1  have  been  awoke  with 
these  words :  Mary,  arise  ;  the  ^^aster  is  come,  and  call- 
eth  for  thee.  I  would  immediately  obey  ;  and  let  the 
weather  be  what  it  might,  without  any  light,  I  would  open 
the  door  and  go  down ;  and  when  the  door  was  shut 
down  after  me,  all  timidity  and  fear  was  dispelled,  and  my 
soul  would  be  so  happy,  and  enjoyed  so  much  of  the 
presence  of  God,  that  I  sometimes  f'-'lt  as  if  the  place  was 
full  of  happy  sjiirits  -who  met  with  me. 

I  would  pravand  sinu;  hvmnsof  ])raiseto  mv  Redeemer. 
I  was  frequently  greatly  led  out  in  ardent  pravcr  fur  the 
enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  salvation  of  the 
souls  of  mankind. 

I  have  often  spent  two  hours  at  a  time  in  the  Avinter,  in 
such  exercises,  and  in  the  use  of  such  lan;2;uaiie  as  irveatlv 
astonished  me,  and  felt,  0  that  I  had, power  to  warn  my 
fellow  mortals,  with  the  same  liberty,  jf  their  dauL'er  of 
the  wrath  to  come.  "With  my  heart  fud  of  love  and  truly 
alive  to  God,  I  returned  from  this  Bethel  to  resume  my  do- 
mestic duties  with  great  delight. 

I  never  confined  myself  through  the  day  to  any  set  times 
of  retirement  for  devotion,  but  wdiile  busily  engaged  poured 
out  my  soul  to  God.  and  lifted  up  my  heart  in  ejaculatory 


142 


LIFE    AM)    EXPERIENCE   OF 


prayer,  in  which  the  more  I  delighted,  my  thirst  for  it  was 
more  increased. 


pleased 


fill 


soul  with 


The  Lord  was  graciousl; 
peace,  througli  a  sense  of  his  parcionnig  love,  wnich  num- 
bled  me  as  in  the  dust  hefo'-e  him,  'ivhile  with  confidence  I 
could  claim  him  as  my  recoiiciled  Fathci,  and  Jesus  Christ 
my  Savior  and  lledeomcr. 

I  had  never  told  to  any  one  the  exercises  of  my  mind, 
from  the  time  my  brother  said  I  was  deluded,  thinking 
^vhat  he  said  was  true. 

I  could  never  read  a  chapter  in  Isaiah  from  that  time, 
but  if  I  oper.ed  upon  it  I  would  close  up  the  book,  because 
I  was  cut  tc  the  heart  with  grief  and  sorrow,  shame  and 
confusion,  to  think  of  the  loss  I  had  sustained.  I  thought 
I  had  built  upon  a  good  foundation  ;  but  my  works  were 
like  hay  and  stubble,  and  when  they  should  be  tried,  would 
be  burned  up  ;  but  my  soul  would  be  saved  through  the 
merits  of  Jesus  Christ, 

"  Which  was  the  sure  foundation  stone, 
That  I  had  built  my  hopes  upon." 


Before  I  received  a  fresh  manifestation  of  pardoning 
love,  I  was  enabled  to  call  in  my  thoughts  from  the  past, 
and  in  a  great  measure  to  forget  those  things  which  were 
behind,  and  press  toward  the  mark  for  the  prize  of  my 
high  calling,  and  run  with  patience  the  race  set  before  me, 
looking  unto  Jesus,  tlie  author  and  finisher  of  my  faith. 
But  0 !  what  cause  I  had  to  praise  and  adorethe  name  of 
the  Lord,  for  supporting  me  through  so  many  temptations 
and  trials,  and  filling  my  heart  with  such  consolations  as  I 
then  enjoyed. 


MRS.    MAKY    HUADLRY. 


hV^ 


I  tound  the  TiOrd  had  greater  blessings  laid  up  in  store 


past, 
Ave  re 
l)f  my 
|*e  me, 
[faith, 
lime  of 
Ltions 
Is  as  I 


for 


me. 


Lat( 


the  aftei 


broth 


in  to  see 


of 


'noon  my  urotiier  came 
Avliicli  I  was  glad  ;  but  I  dotenniiied  to  be  guarded  in  my 
conversation  \\'n\\  him,  fearing  lest  he  should  be  in  the 
same  delusion  he  thought  himself  and  I  were,  when  we  last 
conversed  together.  He  api)eared  verysolenm.  I  thought 
it  right  to  ask  him  to  pi'ay,  but  I  felt  no  benefit  from  his 
prayer  ;  it  was  to  mo  only  in  word. 

After  he  retired,  I  found  a  hvmn  book  which  he  had 
brought  with  him  ;  then  it  occurred  to  me  he  had  set  out 
to  preach,  and  I  felt  much  opposed  to  it,  and  was  deter- 
mined to  attack  him  and  use  all  my  influence  to  turn  him 
back. 

In  the  morning,  I  asked  him  where  he  was  going ;  ho 
replied  wherever  the  Lord  pleased  to  send  him.  I  said, 
vou  have  set  out  to  preach,  and  vou  ou^ht  to  be  verv  care- 
ful  you  are  not  deceived.  lie  said,  if  he  were  he  should 
be  very  glad  to  be  convinced  of  it.  I  said,  Satan  was  a 
subtle  adversary,  and  had  great  power  to  impose  upon  the 
mind,  and  we  might  be  led  far  astrav  bv  his  devices  ;  and 
added,  you  must  pray  earnestly  to  the  Lord  to  direct  you. 
lie  said  he  had  been  praying  to  be  delivered  fi'om  the  im- 
])ression,  and  he  could  only  find  peace  of  mind  in  submis- 
sion to  the  command  of  Christ.  His  words  were  weighty, 
and  I  gave  it  up,  saying  in  my  heart  the  will  of  the  Lord 
be  done. 

After  this  conversation  I  felt  entirely  relieved  —  again 
asked  him  to  pray,  which  he  did  to  edification  —  was  hap- 
py under  his  prayer  —  the  bar  in  my  mind  was  quite  re- 
moved —  felt  a  union  of  spirit. 

After  Itreakfast  ho, took  his  leave  of  us  and  departed. 


144 


Ullu    ASU    EXl'liUIENCK    UI 


I  took  up  tho  Bible,  au'l  oiicnin,G;  in  Isauili,  I  found  a 
great  clian;:;o  in  my  vicN^'s  aipl  fV'cliiiiis.  I  felt  as  though 
a  veil  was  taken  from  my  mind,  wiiich  prevented  me  from 
reading  it  before  as  1  ought  to  have  read  it.  1  was  greatly 
a.stoni.slieil,  and  wondered  what  could  have  been  tho  cause  of 
it.  "While  I  was  musing,  my  understanding  was  enlight- 
ened. 1  took  a  view  of  my  past  experience,  over  which  1 
had  been  mourninii,  and  found  the  same  change  in  that 
also.  I  realized  my  great  mistake,  and  was  happy  to 
find  I  had  not  been  deluded  nor  deceived,  in  that  of  which 
I  had  been  accused,  and  imagined  througli  unbelief.  1 
saw  this  had  been  my  great  sin  ;  which,  when  I  gave  up 
my  confidence,  took  possession  of  my  heart.  I  saw  1  had 
erred  greatly  in  not  going  to  the  throne  of  grace,  spread- 
ing my  case  before  the  Lord,  and  asking  counsel  of  him  ; 
insteu'i  of  which  I  gave  way  to  reasoning,  and  looking  into 
myself,  until  I  lost  my  confidence.  Then  fear  and  unbe- 
lief prevailed,  which  procured  coldness  of  affection.  Thus, 
1.  loit  my  shield  and  fell  a  prey  to  my  enemies,  and  had 
no  power  to  conquer  them  for  a  great  length  of  time.  Thus 
being  enabled  again  to  discern  between  truth  and  error, 
tlie  temptations  of  Satan  and  the  work  of  the  Holy  ISjurit, 
my  confidence  was  restored,  and  faith  being  in  lively  exer- 
cise my  strength  was  renewed  like  the  eagle's,  and  my  heart 
was  filled  witli  love  and  gratitude  to  my  heavenly  Father 
for  his  supporting  grace. 

I  cannot  express  the  happiness  and  peace  of  mind  1  en- 
joyed. I  could  review  my  past  experience  with  great  con- 
solation. I  saw  truth  more  clearly,  and  my  evidence  of 
the  enjoyment  of  it  was  brighter  than  at  the  first.  I  felt 
all  my  past  afflictions  were  sanctified  to  my  good.  I 
was  enabled  to  look  to  Jesus  Christ  bv  faith,  and  feel 


r. 

1" 


MUS.    .MARY    nUADLKY. 


14. 


the  application  of  h 


blood   to  the   cl( 


f 


iiube- 
hus, 

had 

Tims 

rror, 

)iiit, 
cxer- 

icart 
atlier 


causing 
ray  sv.il. 

Tims  I  had  a^^ain  rest  from  all  my  spiritual  enemies 
round  about. 

I  thou;^ht  surely  the  time  is  now  ni;.^h  at  hand  when  the 
Lord  will  i)Our  out  Iiis  Spirit  upon  the  ii  habitants  of  the 
earth,  and  cause  a  great  reformation  to  take  place  ;  then 
sinners  will  be  converted  \uUo  him,  and  his  name  be 
greatly  glorified.  For  this  I  lunged  and  prayed  contin- 
ually. 

About  this  time  the  Rev.  J.  M.  visited  and  preached  in 
St.  John.  I  went  to  hear  him  preach,  which  was  the  first 
time  I  ever  saw  him,  though  he  had  been  previously  la- 
boring in  this  country.  The  text  was  Genesis,  7:1: 
*'  And  the  Lord  said  unto  Noali,  come  thou  and  all 
thy  house  into  the  ark  ;  for  thee  have  I  seen  righteous 
before  me  in  this  generation."  I  was  greatly  comfort- 
ed under  his  sermon,  and  felt  a  witness  that  my  soul  was 
set  at  liberty.  I  felt  no  condemnation.  I  rejoiced  in  God 
my  Savior,  and  my  cup  was  running  over.  I  greatly 
desired  an  interview  with  Mr.  M. 


13 


•I* 


1  cn- 

con- 

Ice  of 

ll  felt 

ll.     I 

feel 


CHAPTER    Xyl. 


h: 


I  BEGAN  to  feel  the  disadvantage  of  living  an  isolated 
life  of  seclusion  from  the  church  and  people  of  God. 
I  felt  a  desire  to  be  become  more  acquainted  with  the  rulers 
and  privileges  of  the  Wesleyan  Society  —  the  class-meet- 
ings —  the  love-feasts  —  sacraments  —  watch-nights,  and 
meetings  for  renewing  the  covenant  Avith  God. 

I  thought  of  joining  the  body  ;  and  only  wanted  a  real- 
izing sense  of  my  duty  to  God,  with  whose  goodness 
towards  mc,  I  was  deeply  impressed  ;  and  my  heart  over- 
flowed with  love  to  him  in  such  a  manner,  that  I  knew  not 
how  to  restrain  myself  from  talking  of  it  to  others,  who 
were  folio vrers  of  the  Lord. 

I  knev,-  it  would  be  difficult  for  me  to  obtain  the  privi- 
lege :  therefore  I  kept  it  to  myself,  until  my  mind  was  so 
distressed,  I  could  endure  it  no  longer.  I  asked  mv  hus- 
band  to  let  me  go  from  home,  and  stay  a  few  days ;  but  I 
could  not  explain  to  him  the  state  of  my  mind,  and  the 
cause  of  my  request,  lie  did  not  consent,  and  I  said  no 
more  to  him  that  day  ;  but  my  heart  was  uplifted  to  God 
in  prayer,  pleading  with  him  to  bow  my  husband's  will, 
that  he  miiiht  let  me  go. 

U6 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


147 


krivi- 
Ls  so 
Ihus- 
lilt  I 
the 
11  no 

rod 

kill, 


Next  morning,  I  asked  him  again,  but  got  no  satisfac- 
tion :  therefore  I  concluded  to  commit  my  case  to  the 
Lord,  believing  if  the  impression  was  from  him,  he  would 
open  a  way  for  me.  I  received  many  encouraging  prom- 
ises, but  still  my  heart  was  like  a  bottle  without  vent. 

My  appetite,/  sleep,  and  health,  became  affected  from 
the  anxious  exercises  of  mind. 

One  night,  I  heard,  (all  being  still,)  three  loud  knocks, 
as  if  in  the  adjoining  room.  I  concluded  it  was  a  warning 
for  me ;  perhaps  in  three  days  I  should  be  relieved  from 
my  restrictions ;  perhaps  some  accident  might  befall  my 
husband  —  for  he  drove  a  high  spirited  horse,  and  many 
times  told  me  how  narrowly  he  had  escaped  from  danger 
ivhen  driving  down  steep  places,  which  caused  me  great 
uneasiness,  particularly  when  he  stayed  from  home  longer 
than  I  expected.  Then  I  considered  that  a  watchful  Provi- 
dence had  control  over  all  persons  and  things,  and  that 
the  hairs  of  our  head  were  all  numbered,  and  not  one  of 
rhem  can  fall  to  the  ground  without  our  heavenly  Father's 
notice. 

Thus,  from  the  deductions  of:  right  reasoning,  the  preva- 
lency  of  prayer,  the  confidence  of  hope,  and  the  assurance  of 
faith,  I  was  enabled  to  trust  in  the  Lord,  and  give  up  my 
all  to  him. 

The  third  morning,  I  fc'lt  unwell,  and  could  not  take 
breakfast ;  my  husband  urged  me  to  do  so,  but  of  no  avail ; 
he  looked  upon  me  with  pity,  as  if  he  knew  the  state  of  my 
mind  ;  and  said,  you  may  go  in  town  to  day,  and  stay  as 
long  as  you  please.  I  said,  '•  Are  you  in  earnest,  may  I 
go?"  He  said,  "  Yes,  and  I  am  going  with  the  horse, 
and  you  can  ride  with  me."  I  thanked  him  ;  but  with 
what  delisht  did  I  sec  in  it  the  hand  of  God  !  and  how  did 


148 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


my  heart  glow  with  gratitude  to  him  !     I  felt  like  a  bird 
released  from  its  cage. 

I  felt  grateful  to  my  Maker,  for  having  instructed  me 
to  exercise  faith  and  patience,  until  he  saw  fit,  by  his  kind 
Providence,  to  open  a  way  for  an  interview  with  his  people. 
Toward  the  middle  of  the  day  we  set  out.  I  felt  a  deep 
sense  of  the  divine  goodness,  and  such  an  exercise  of  faith 
in  him,  that  I  was  enabled  to  make  a  full  surrender  of  my- 
self, and  all  that  appertained  to  me,  unto  him.  I  felt  if  it 
were  the  will  of  God,  I  should  never  return  to  my  house 
and  husband  again,  I  could  cheerfully  give  them  up  ;  the 
world  appeared  as  nothing  to  me  ;  I  felt  my  will  and 
affections  all  swallowed  up  in  God. 

When  we  parted,  my  husband  cheerfully  said,  "  You 
may  stay,  until  I  call  for  you  :  "  therefore,  I  had  no  em- 
barrassment of  mind  on  his  account. 

I  first  went  to  a  female  member  of  the  society  of  vhi.  u 
I  had  some  knowledge,  and  told  her  I  wished  to  see  i>'  ■ 
M.,  and  have  conversation  with  him.  She  readily  offei... 
to  go  with  me,  saying,  she  was  somewhat  acquainted  with 
him  ;  and  added,  he  was  rather  a  rough-spoken  maii,  and 
those  who  do  not  know  his  disposition,  are  apt  to  be 
oifended  with  him  ;  however,  regardless  of  fear,  we  went 
to  his  boarding  house,  and  when  I  saw  him,  I  said  I  had 
desired  to  inform  him  how  much  good  I  had  enjoyed  under 
his  sermon  on  Sunday  morning,  naming  the  text;  and 
that  ray  heart  was  full  of  love,  and  I  was  almost  as  happy  as 
I  could  be  to  live.  He  looked  very  sharply  at  me  and  said 
"  You  are  deluded,  and  must  pray  against  it."  His  coun- 
tenance was  dark,  and  his  natural  look  rather  cross. 
Being  thus  unexpectedly  rebuked,  I  knew  not  for  a  mo- 
ment what  to  answer :  but  looking  up  for  pivine  assistance. 


r, 


this 
Iw; 

it  W£ 

I 

happ 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


149 


be 
rent 

lad 
ider 
and 


'A 


I  felt  mj  mind  strengthened,  and  replied  :  "  If  I  am  delud- 
ed, it  must  be  the  effect  of  your  preaching  ; "  then  looking 
sternly  at  nie,  he  repeated,  '•  You  are  under  a  delusion, 
and  you  must  pray  against  it." 

With  no  otlier  encouragement,  I  took  my  leave  of  him. 
jNIrs.  0.,  my  kind  conductress,  had  recommended  to  me 
some  of  the  most  devoted  members  of  the  society,  l\Ir.  and 
Mrs.  ]M.,  Mrs.  W.,  Mrs.  K.,  and  others,  on  whom  I  called  ; 
and  conversing  with  whom,  I  took  great  comfort.  They 
showed  me  great  kindness,  took  me  to  all  the  meetings, 
and  made  me  welcome  during  the  time  I  was  with  them, 
wliich  was  several  daj^s. 

One  day,  being  at  a  friend's  house,  the  preacher  came 
in  to  dine,  and  when  he  saw  me  he  exclaimed,  "  Bless  me  ! 
are  you  here  yet ;  what  will  your  husband  say  ?  "  I  re- 
plied, •'  My  husband  gave  me  leave  to  stay  as  long  as  I 
pleased,  or  until  he  should  call  for  me." 

Then  he  said,  *'  I  suppose  you  teased  him,  until  he  was 
vexed,  and  then  he  said  to  you,  go." 

I  perceived  he  erred  in  his  judgment,  and  as  a  son  of 
consolation,  was  wanting  in  a  consohng  spirit  ;  but  I  felt 
the  Lord  was  precious,  and  present  with  me,  and  I  had  no 
cause  to  fear  what  man  could  do  unto  me.  I  said  to  him, 
"  Since  you  think  me  so  deluded,  I  suppose  you  are  not 
dis|)oscd  to  receive  me  into  your  society  ?  "  He  replied, 
'•  .No,  I  will  not." 

'Uien  I  thought,  surely  the  hand  of  the  Lord  is  in  all 
this  ;  and  though  Providence  seemed  to  hedge  up  my  way, 
I  was  content,  thinking  the  Lord  knew  what  was  best,  and 
it  was  for  wise  ends  I  was  placed  in  such  a  position. 

I  was  not  in  the  least  cast  down  ;  but  was  exceedingly 
happy,  my  affections  were  so  placed  upon  things  alcove. 


160 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


that  the  things  of  this  world  had  no  place  in  my  heart. 
All  my  dt'ii^^ht  was  to  talk  of  the  thin.i^s  of  God,  and  to 
enjoy  the  means  of  grace,  and  his  promises  -were  continu- 
ally flowing  through  my  soul  with  sucli  delight,  that  when 
I  was  asleep  my^  heart  seemed  to  be  awake.  I  could  say 
with  the  spouse  in  Solomon's  Song,  chap.  5:2;  I  sleep, 
but  my  heart  waketh  :  it  is  the  voice  of  my  beloved  that 
knocketh,  saying,  Open  to  me,my  sister,  my  love,  my  dove, 
my  undeftled  :  for  my  head  is  filled  with  dew,  and  my 
locks  with  the  drops  of  the  night. 

Chap.  2,:  o  : — "As  the  apple-tree  among  the  trees 
of  the  wood,  so  is  my  beloved  among  the  sons.  I  sat 
down  under  his  shadow  with  great  delight,  and  his 
fruit  was  sweet  to  mv  taste.  lie  brought  me  to  the  ban- 
quoting  house,  and  his  banner  over  me  was  love.  His 
left  hand  is  under  mv  head,  and  his  ridit  hand  doth  em- 
brace  me.  Tiie  voice  of  my  beloved  !  behold,  he  cometh 
leaping  upon  the  mountains,  skipping  upon  the  hills.  ]My 
beloved  is  mine,  and  I  am  his:  he  feedeth  among  the 
lilies." 

My  soul,  truly  alive  to  God,  longed  to  see  a  revival  of 
religion  in  others.  I  thought  if  I  had  been  a  man,  nothing 
could  hinder  me  from  going  abroad  to  proclaim  salvation 
to  a  dying  world.  O,  how  I  longed  to  declare  what  God 
had  done  for  my  soul,  and  to  invite  sinners  to  flee  from 
the  wrath  to  come,  and  lay  hold  on  eternal  life.  I  thought 
I  could  willingly  leave  all,  and  go  to  the  ends  of  tlie 
earth,  if  it  might  secure  the  salvation  of  one  soul.  I 
thought  neither  the  world  nor  the  things  of  it,  could  ever 
have  any  more  place  in  my  mind  ;  but  one  evening,  while 
I  was  at  Mr.  M.'s,  he  asked  me  some  worldly  questions, 
which  I  answered.      Finally,  we   entered   into  a  lengthy 


MBS.   MAIU'   IIRADLEY. 

discourse  about  the  things  of  iU  ^^^ 

f.'^'-"  lost  that  hiS;    ,   ;  r"'  ^'■'^^  "'>-•'.  I 
-J^Kd  while  conversinT;  "'^'  ^'="«  »?  n,i„d  J  ,  J 

«-"  "'if'-  those  kind  Christ  '.      T  "'^  ^""^^^^  o'"  reii 
^I'l^^'-cc!  too  limited,  "  ^""'^''  «"■  'vl.ich  our  fj, 

-I   had    taken  im  '       ^^'  "^'^^n'r  been  «!n  i 

"^Wafengthenandgrve^e   he^'-T  '"''"^^"^  ">-'  he 
I  determined  to  turn  »  .1"/       '°"""->'- 

£\-^  .-onings;:;^;!!'''^  '""-^'^  -™- 

i^io  knew  my  heart,  and  „!,„  ?^-^,  ,"'^'^"  «Pon  the  Urd 

"'"1  «l,03e  word  of  tri      ,       •    '^'  '"<'  P'-'^^^^ed  me 

P-ises  to  eomrort  JTd  1;  rrt"2  T  *-^"''  -^  "^ 

h   ^  «nd  to  conscience,  tha       Id  "V  "'"''  ^PPO"'  to 

'""-V  )"m,  and  m^  fi.ed  reso  uS   n      "^  """^  '^''^'''^  to 

After  poring  over  ,nv  „      ",''°"  '«  ^«"e  him. 

"P  '0  the  Wifor  th  1- rncTTK""""^'  -^  '-ki„. 
--">  e  that  I  had  no  ot  ^rr  I?/  ';    '"'^  ^pirit,  bein^ 

nth 


sen 


"A  ills  Jove  •    so    T  -'"luit  me  -vvi 

«^^f";'^   of  the  enemv-    Id'  >""'"  /'""^^^"•l  f™". 


with 
f^eemer 


GoJ,  through  the  merits  2""'  '"""'  <'°'""">n 


th 


""^rits  and  atonement  of 


a 

e 


lion 
aiy  Re. 


ib'2 


LIFE    AND    EXPDRIKNCE    OF 


"  How  sweet  the  name  of  Jesus  bounds, 
In  ii  believer's  eiii's  ; 
(^  soothes  his  soitows,  heals  his  woxinds, 
And  wipes  away  his  fears. 

Wis  Spirit  msikes  the  wounded  whole, 

And  calms  his  troubled  breast: 
'  1"  is  nmnnato  the  liuiigry  soul, 

And  to  the  weiiry  rest." 

My   mind   was   graciously   exercised;    the    Scriptures 


would  bo  opened  and  applied  to  my  soul  with  great  force  ; 
certain  texts  would  open  to  my  understanding,  then  others, 
corresponding  with  and  proving  the  same  subject ;  various 
events  in  Divine  Providence,  and  occurrences  in  lite, 
would  appear  like  a  book  open  before  me,  and  at  the  same 
time  as  though  an  interpreter  was  explaining  everj''  thing 
to  my  mind. 

The  powerful  exercises  of  feeling  for  my  own  soul,  in- 
variably led  to  an  ardent  desire  for  the  prosperity  of  re- 
ligion in  the  church,  and  the  conversion  of  sinners  in  the 
world.  It  is  impossible  for  me  to  describe  Avith  what  con- 
cern I  viewed  the  awful  state  of  sinners,  rushing  upon 
the  Almighty's  buckler,  hasting  to  eternal  death,  and  the 
desire  I  felt  to  warn  them  of  their  danger. 

In  reviewing  the  truth  of  the  Holy  Scriptures,  in  how 
many  instances  the  promises  had  been  fulfilled  —  tlu^ 
many  answers  to  prayer  —  the  trials  of  my  faith,  never 
yet  disappointed  —  the  power  engaged  to  confer  all  future 
good  ;  these  were  as  clouds  of  witnesses,  that  nothing  was 
too  hard  for  the  Lord.  I  felt  encouraged  to  venture  mv 
all  upon  the  truth  of  his  word,  and  though  the  vision  should 
tarry,  to  wait  for  it,  for  in  the  end  it  would  surely  be  ful- 
filled. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


153 


how 


["uturo 
I2;  was 

its 

[0  my 
hiouUl 
ful- 


I 


My  mind  was  constantly  studying  upon  those  deep  and 
aolemn  trutlis,  or  else  broathin<!;   out   mv   soul   in   piavcr. 
This  was  my  em|'loynicnt  fro.ii  day  tn  day,  and   fivsh  dis- 
coveries of  the  mysteries  of  the   kingdom  of  grace  would 
be  continually  opening  to  my  view.     I   thou-ht   it   would 
tend  to  settle  and  im»)rove  my  mind  to  commit  to  memory 
every    day,   excepting   the    Sabbath,    ten    verses  of  the 
Scriptures,  and  likewise  every  day  to  write  a   \nvt  of  my 
past  experience  ;  and   as   1   mused  on   this   ])lan,   I   was 
•    >re  and  more  esta' '■-^•-hI  in  mv  mind.     I  had  only  been 
c:      rred  from  this  foi  some  time,  from  a   fear  of  my   own 
inability,  or  that  it  did  not  spring  from   a  right   motive  ; 
that  thereby  I  should  dishonor  God.     I  had   many   times 
Avritten  short  pieces  and  prayers,  intending  to   resume   it 
in  future.     One  night  I  dreamed  I  was   going  to  write   a 
piece  on  religion,  and  laid  the  i)ayer  down,  and    took  the 
pen  in  my  hand,  dipped  it  into  the  u\k,  and  put  my  hand 
upon  the  paper  to  write  ;  and  Satan  was  so  angry   at   me 
for  writing,  that  he  entered   into   my  hand  and   held  my 
fingers  so  fast  that  I  could  not  move  thom.      I   took  the 
Bible  in  my  left  hand,  and  laid  it  on  my  rv^ht  hand,  think- 
ing that  Satan  had  such  a  hatred  to  the   Kible,  that  he 
Avould  soon  have  to  make  his  escape.      His  rage  was   so 
great  against  me,  not  able  to  endure,  he  let  loose  my  fin- 
gers, and  my  pen   flew  out  of  my  hand  with  such  force 
that  it  bounded  against  the  wall  across  the  room.     I  then 
thought  he  got  upon  the  hack  of  my  neck,   and  lay   with 
such  force  that  I  could  scarcely  move.     I  thoiight,  Satan 
cannot  stand  faith  and  the  Bible.     I   was   sure   I  should 
conquer  him  with  it.     I  then  with  difificulty  got   the  Bible 
on  my  neck,  from  which  Satan  took  his  flight,  and  1  felt 
liim  no  more.     This  was  only  a  dream  ;  but  it  was  always 
14 


154 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


a  comfort  and  encouragement  to  mo  aftorwartls  when  I 
thoii;^ht  of  w.itin;^  ;  because  whatever  is  ^^leasin"^  to  God, 
is  displcasin;^  to  Satan. 

I  liad  been  many  times  encoura^^ed  to  write  ;  and  inca- 
pable as  I  was,  it  proved  a  delightful  employment ;  and 
the  })resent  movement  thereto  seemed  to  be  a  ease  of 
necessity  ;  therefore,  in  humble  dependence  upon  divmo 
aid,  I  commenced,  and  continued  to  learn  ten  verses 
every  day,  and  wrote  until  I  filled  up  tbrty-three  pages. 
I  found  by  confining  myself  so  closely  to  learning  the 
Scripture  by  heart,  1  lost,  in  a  great  measure,  the  spirit- 
uality of  it — being  so  resolute  to  accomplish  just  such  a 
task,  and  many  times  difficult  to  perform.  I  grew  weary 
by  the  constant  labor  of  the  mind ;  therefore  I  concluded 
to  relinquish  it  for  a  while,  until  my  mind  got  relreshed 
and  strengthened. 

Although  I  found  ic  necessary  to  lay  aside  my  pen,  I 
intended  to  take  it  up  again,  and  continue  until  I  had  nar- 
rated the  whole  of  my  experience  and  course  through  life. 

0!  how  thankful  I  felt  to  him  who  had  preserved  me, 
and  influenced  «ie  to  do  that  which  so  greatly  unburdened 
and  comforteti  mj'  mind ;  but  I  Avas  not  satisfied  with  my- 
self for  liaving  lost  ground  in  my  spirituality,  life,  and 
power  of  religion. 

I  concluded  to  set  out  afresh,  to  watch  and  pray,  and  to 
give  up  my  heart,  and  all  my  care  to  the  Lord,  and  plead 
the  atonement  of  my  Savior,  for  I  felt  I  had  no  worthiness 
of  my  own  to  plead,  and  Jacob-like  to  wrestle  for  the  bless- 
ing. I  came  to  him  as  at  the  first,  pleading  his  mercy, 
invitations,  promises,  and  the  worthiness  of  Jesus  Christ, 
who  shed  his  precious  blood  for  me,  and  all  his  hands  had 
made ;  and  glory  be  to  my  heavenly  Father,  he  did  not 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


155 


I 


turn  a  deaf  car  to  my  prayer,  for  I  soon  felt  my  heart 
melted  down  before  him,  and  his  precious  promises  apjtlied 
^vith  comfort  to  my  so\d. 

0,  what  a  deep  sense  I  then  felt,  of  the  goodness  of 
God,  a  friend  that  sticketh  closer  than  a  brother. 

If  at  any  time  I  did  not  enjoy  the  divine  ])resence,  I 
could  not  rest  until  I  obtained  the  warming  influence  of 
his  love  shed  abroad  in  my  heart,  tlicn  I  could  go  about 
my  domestic  concerns  witli  joy.  My  mind  was  constantly 
and  delightfully  emjloyed,  eitlicrin  praying,  siiiging  praise 
to  God,  or  repeating  his  Wortl. 

0,  how  happily  did  my  miiuitcs  pn=:s  away,  witli  rhn?;t 
in  my  soul,  and  by  an  eve  of  faith  heaven  in  view.  I  en- 
joyed a  little  heaven  upon  earth,  which  was  an  earnest  of 
my  heavenly  inheritance  above. 

"Sweet  the  mnments,  rich  in  blessing, 
Whicli  before  the  cross  I  s|)eii(l ; 
Life  and  heiiltli  ami  |}cace  possessiiig-, 
From  the  sinner's  (.lying  friend. 


I 


my- 
and 

id  to 
J)lead 
tness 
[)less- 
jrcy, 
lirist, 
had 
not 


Here  it  is  I  find  my  heaven, 

While  upon  tlie  f/inil)  I  gaze, 
Love  I  much,  I've  much  forgiven, 

I'm  a  miracle  of  grace. 

0  to  grace  how  great  a  debtor, 

Daily  I'm  constraine  1  to  bo; 
Let  tliat  grace  now  like  a  fetter. 

Bind  my  wand'ring  heart  to  thee." 

I  did  not  allow  myself  to  neglect  meetings,  wlicn  it  was 
in  my  power  to  attend  them ;  for  it  was  the  delight  of  my 
soul,  to  visit  the  house  of  God,  and  join  in  his  Avorship 
there. 

I  enjo3^ed  so  much  of  the  presence  of  God,  that  I  could 


156 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


view-him  iu  his  works,  aivl  receive  instruction  and  refroah- 
ment  to  my  soul  in  meditating  u[)on  tliein. 

Wlieti  I  btdield  the  bcautii'ul  sun,  and  felt  its  invigorat- 
hig  inHucnce,  it  induced  a  deHghtiul  cuntemiihition  of  my 
Savior.  I  thought  it  was  a  fine  emblem  of  himself;  for 
he  came  a  light  into  the  world  to  enlighten  our  dark  minds, 
that  whosoever  believeth  in  him  should  not  walk  in  dark- 
ness, but  should  have  the  light  of  life,  and  to  warm  our 
frozen  affections  with  the  influences  of  his  heavenly  love. 

When  I  viewed  the  towering  rocks  they  led  me  to  think 
of  my  Savior,  who  is  as  the  shadow  of  a  great  rock,  for 
refuge  ami  safety  to  those  who  put  their  trust  in  him,  whose 
promises  are  all  yea  and  amen. 

When  from  my  dwelling  I  looked  down  upon  the  waters 
of  the  sea,  I  was  reminded  of  the  fulness,  extension,  and 
freeness  of  my  Savior's  grace. 

The  ebbing  and  flowing  of  the  tide,  from  which  springs 
are  all  su})plied,  rivers  and  streams  of  water,  all  of  which 
find  their  way  back  to  the  great  ocean  from  whence  they 
came  ;  so  the  love  of  Jesus  flowing  into  ray  heart,  is  re- 
flected back  to  him  a^jain. 


*'  0  !  for  this  love  let  rocks  and  hills, 
Their  lasting  silence  breuli  ; 
And  all  harmonious  human  tongues, 
The  Savior's  praises  speak." 

When  taking  a  lonely  walk  among  the  shady  trees  of 
the  wood,  what  emblems  of  the  human  family  present  them- 
selves to  my  view.  Trees  of  all  descriptions,  from  the 
thrifty  sapling  to  those  in  a  decaying  state,  which  have 
endured  the  changes  of  seasons,  and  storms  beating  upon 
them  ;  here  withered  branches,  and  there  broken  limbs, 
and  others  so  much  decayed,  that  they  can  hardly  support 


MRS.    MAUY    BRADLEY. 


157 


of 
Ihem- 
the 
[have 
[upon 
Imbs, 
)port 


themselves  in  tiie  earth,  and  some  had  (alien  and  were  de- 
ca;ying  ujKin  the  firound. 

Amon<^  tlie  liuma!i  hciiiL's  uho  dwell  upon  tlie  face  of 
the  earth,  from  the  infant,  the  s])riji;htly  you»h,  those  of 
maidy  growth,  and  such  as  are  howed  down  with  old  age; 
all  of  every  condition  and  description  must  be  cut  down  by 
the  ruthless  hand  of  death. 

"  No  ruotn  for  mirth  or  trillin.2  here, 
For  worlilly  Impe  or  'AMrldly  I'ear, 
If  life  so  soon  is  gone, 
If  now  the  .Indpo  is  a*,  tbp  door, 
And  all  mankind  ninst  stand  before 
The  inexorablo  Throne." 


14* 


CHATTER    XVII. 


In  the  order  of  God's  kind  providence,  the  Rev.  Joshua 
Marsden,  a  Wcsleyan  missionary,  came  to  St.  John,  who 
was  stationed  hero  a  considerable  time,  and  under  whose 
superintendence  the  Germain  street  chapel  was  erected. 

An  old  acquaintance  of  mine  removing  from  the  country 
to  the  city,  who  was  a  member  of  the  society,  I  met  Mr. 
Marsden  at  her  house,  with  whom  I  enjoyed  some  interest- 
ing conversation,  and  when  lie  understood  I  was  one  of  his 
constants  hearers,  gave  me  a  kind  invitation  to  join  the 
society. 

After  a  while  Mr.  Marsden  appointed  a  love-feast,  and 
having  received  a  hearty  invitation  from  him,  I  felt  encour- 
aged to  attend  it,  and  strongly  inclined  to  join  his  churchy 
but  the  stormy  day  prevented  my  going. 

The  disappointment  led  me  to  think  perhaps  it  is  not  the 
•will  of  the  Lord  I  should  be  united  to  the  Wesleyans,  and 
as  I  continued  to  think  upon  it,  one  night  I  dreamed  I  was 
pleasantly  situated  on  a  place  of  my  own,  by  the  side  of  a 
beautiful  river.  I  walked  along  its  side,  in  search  of  a 
spring  of  water ;  I  found  one  and  was  glad  for  the  spring 
of  water  ;  it  looked  beautiful  at  fii'st,  but  on  examination  I 
■was  not  satisfied  with  the  water.  I  went  further,  and 
found  another  spring,  but  neither  did  that  please  me,  for 

168 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


159 


was 

of  a 

lof  a 

3ring 

lion  I 

and 

L  for 


the  water  was  soiuewhat  turbid.  I  loft  that  and  went  a 
little  farther,  and  came  to  a  spot  which  had  little  appear- 
ance of  a  spring,  yet  it  attracted  ray  attention,  and  when 
I  had  cleared  away  the  top,  I  found  it  to  be  {)uro  water, 
bubblin;^  up  clear  as  crystal.  I  thought  it  flowed  from  a 
pure  fountain.  I  felt  greatly  rejoiced  for  this  spring  ;  it 
was  just  such  as  I  wanted  ;  I  thought  now  I  have  every 
thing  I  can  desire.  When  I  awoke  I  began  to  ponder 
over  the  dream,  satisfied  it  was  from  the  Lord  for  my  in- 
struction. 

It  occurred  to  me  immediately,  in  the  first  church  I 
joined,  I  met  with  di;  appointment.  In  attempting  to  join 
another,  I  was  prevented.  An  the  third  spring  proved 
satisfactory,  I  felt  much  oncouiaged  ;  but  durst  not  ven- 
ture without  a  clear  view  of  my  duty. 

I  prayed  to  the  Lord  to  make  ay  way  plain,  that  I 
might  be  found  in  the  right  v'y. 

I  thought,  if  I  became  (ne  :^f  their  number,  and  the 
Spirit  of  the  Lord  should  lead  me  to  take  up  my  ctosi  in 
any  unusual  way,  contrary  to  their  rules  or  feelings,  I 
might  be  opposed,  and  rejected ;  I  had  far  better  stand 
alone,  than  either  give,  or  recaive  wounds  ;  for  a  wounded 
spirit  who  can  bear  ? 

Thus  I  was  reasoning  in  my  mind,  until  another  quarterly 
love-feast  was  appointed.  I  felt  inclined  to  attend  it,  and 
unite  myself  to  thf  church. 

It  came  into  my  .iind  to  write  an  article  of  agreement 
between  the  society  and  myself  ;  and  take  it  with  me,  and 
present  it  to  th.,  minister,  and  tell  him,  if  he  would  sign  it, 
I  would  jriii  them,  and  if  he  objected  to  do  so,  I  would 
take  it  as  a  sure  token,  it  was  not  my  providential  way. 
Accordingly  I  drew  up  the  writing,  praying  to  the  Lord, 


IGO 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


tliat  his  will  miL^ht  be  discovered  to  me,  and  that  I  might 
act  ill  aeconliiiice  therewith. 

IJetbre  the  commencement  of  the  meeting,  I  stepped  up 
to  the  minister,  and  gave  him  the  writing,  and  after  he 
looked  it  over,  he  said  to  me,  "  Yes,  sister,  I  am  willing 
to  sign  it ; "  he  did  so,  and  gave  it  back  to  me.  I  have 
recorded  the  document  below. 

I  felt  my  mind  very  hap[)y,  it  was  a  covenant  meeting, 
the  first  I  had  ever  witnessed. 

I  felt  the  Lord  to  be  present  and  precious  to  my  soul 
I  felt  truly  thankful  for  the  privilege  I  then  enjoyed,  and 
the  evidence  I  then  felt,  that  I  was  in  the  way  of  my  duty. 
Glory  be  to  his  holy  name,  for  ever  and  ever. 

I  am  struck  with  astonishment  to  observe  the  date, 
January,  1803.  This  being  January,  1883.  Just  thirty 
years  since  I  joined  the  Methodist  church. 


Article  of  ajrroement  between  Mary  Morris,  and  the  Methodist 
church  ;  city  of  St.  Joliu, 

We,  the  said  cliurch,  do  receive  Mary  Morris  into  communion 
with  us,  according  to  our  ruh's,  aUowinu  her  all  the  hhertiesj,  and 
privile^ies,  our  Henvenly  Father  doth  ullow  to  the  female  sex,  by 
the  mouth  of  his  pro|)hets  and  aposlU^a  in  his  church  militant  :  also, 
to  iniprovc  her  talents  and  briiii^  her  shifts  into  the  sanctuary,  as  the 
Lord  shall  direct  i.er,  by  his  word,  and  Holy  Spirit  •,  also  to  reprove 
any  one,  belonj,nnfj  to  the  society,  for  any  thing  that  shall  come  to 
her  knowlcdije,  of  them,  contrary  to  the  commands  of  God. 

Also,  if  any  one  btdonijing'  to  the  society  hath  any  accusation 
against  her,  either  great  or  small,  they  shall  manifest  to  fier  the 
same,  taking  ihc  rules  laid  down  in  the  Scriptures,  for  their  direc- 
tion in  the  settlement  of  those  matters.  She  also  shall  have  liberty 
to  plead  her  own  cause  before  the  church,  against  any  perstm,  who 
may  prefer  a  charge  against  her.  (mmI,  and  his  Word,  shall  judge 
betwixt  us  both. 

I  also  make  a  free  and  cheerful  offering  of  myself,  soul  and  body, 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


161 


iilist 

nioo 
,  and 
px,  by 
ill  so, 
s  the 
)rovc 
lie  to 

satinu 
er  the 
(lirec- 
Iberty 
,  who 
judge 

body, 


unto  God,  to  be  faithful  in  all  th\n^s  in  his  service,  unto  whatever 
he  inny  please  to  call  ine  :  also,  when  it  shall  be  hia  will  to  separ- 
ate Iheni,  I  crive  my  body  to  the  dust,  and  my  spirit  to  God,  who 
gave  it,  throu(T[i  Jesus  I'hrist  my  Lord.     Jlintn. 

Written  by  unworthy  nio. 

This  night,  January  4,  1803. 

MARY  MORRIS. 

(Signed,)  JOSHUA  MARS  DEN. 

The  next  clay  I  went  home  enjoying  great  peace  of 
mhid,  and  well  satisfied. 

The  rules  of  the  society  were  given  to  me,  which  showed 
the  obligation  I  was  under  to  observe  them. 

The  distance  and  the  badness  of  the  way,  rendered  it 
impossible  fur  mc  to  attend  my  class  regularly. 

One  day  returning  from  the  city,  I  was  much  overcome 
with  bodily  weakness,  to  which  I  was  subject ;  I  was  much 
engaged  in  prayer,  and  when  I  reached  home  as  was  usual, 
retired  into  my  favorite  closet,  my  back  so  weak,  I  could 
scarcely  support  myself:  but  as  s^on  as  I  engaged  in  prayer, 
my  heart  was  so  filled  with  love  to  God,  and  my  bodily 
strength  renewed,  and  I  experienced  such  a  baptism  of  the 
Spirit,  as  I  shall  never  forget,  as  long  as  I  retain  my 
senses. 

Bless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  all  that  is  within  me, 
bless  his  holy  name. 

I  felt  much  engaged  for  the  outpouring  of  his  Holy 
Spirit  upon  the  world.  I  did  not  feel  satisfied  to  eat  my 
spiritual  bread  alone  ;  I  wanted  all  to  share  in  the  glorious 
truths  of  the  gospel  plan  of  salvation  which  I  saw  free  for 
all  who  would  believe,  and  seek  them  through  the  Lord 
Jesus. 


162 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIEXCE    OF 


One  evcninir,  as  T  was  wrestlinj^  with  God,  for  his  hlcss- 


'o' 


in;:;  upon  mvsclf  and  tho  world,  I  reflected  upon  the  time 
when  tlie  Lord  ;;ave  me  a  visionary  view  of  a  <^lorious 
chani^e  to  take  place  in  the  world,  which  caused  me  to 
hoj)e  I  should  live  to  witness  something  of  it  in  my  day. 
I  prayed  earnestly  to  the  Lord,  if  I  were  not  deceived, 
that  he  would  ;:ive  me  a  fresh  token  of  it,  that  my  faith 
mi,i;ht  bo  strengthened  :  That  night  I  had  a  remarkable 
dre;un. 

I  dreamed  I  was  standinsz,  in  the  silence  of  the  night, 
by  the  side  of  a  bed,  nicely  made  up,  and  as  I  was  lookijig 


)f  tl 


le  room,  wiucn 


r'hich 


very  earnestly  toward  the  east  comer  o 
was  very  large,  and  liglit  as  day,  there  came  a  bright 
figui'c  out  of  the  east  corner  of  the  wall,  which  was  the 
apjjcai'ance  of  a  man,  and  moved  slowly  on  the  wall ;  a 
little  after,  another  came  from  the  same  place,  which  was 
the  appearance  of  a  boy. 

When  I  beheld  them,  I  understood  the  man  to  be  a 
representation  of  a  man  clothed  witli  the  whole  armor  of 
God.  The  boy,  to  be  one  of  the  children  of  the  resurrec- 
tion ;  and  that  the  Lord  had  sent  them  to  me  for  a  con- 
firmation of  his  promise,  that  I  should  see  that  happy  day, 
which  I  had  been  so  long  expecting.  I  felt  unsi)eakably 
hap[)y,  and  kept  my  eyes  continually  upon  them,  until  they 
came  to  tlie  west  comer  of  the  room  and  stopped.  Then 
it  oecurri'd  to  me,  as  the  lightning  Cometh  out  of  the  east, 
and  shineth  unto  tho  wcbL,  so  should  also,  the  cominiz  oC 
the   kSon  of  man  be. 

I  thought  the  boy  moved  on,  until  he  came  to  me,  and 
wlien  I  took  him  into  my  arms  —  sat  down  in  a  chair,  and 
held  him  in  my  la[),  tliat  his  beauty  tar  excellcil  all  huuiaii 
beings,  and  that  I  had  the  greatest  love  for  him. 


Lr 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


163 


1  thought  our  spiritual  union  was  so  great,  that  language 
was  not  necessary  to  express  our  love  to  each  other. 

Mv  joy  was  heyond  description.  When  I  awoke,  I 
was  retharkably  happy,  and  I  firmly  believed  it  was  of  the 
Lord. 

I  did  not  lose  the  enioyment  of  it  for  many  davs.  I 
was  greatly  strengthened  and  encouraged,  while  I  was  led 
to  consider,  what  great  changes  had  taken  place  in  the 
world,  since  my  mind  had  been  reliLrioasly  exercised. 

The  Scrij)ture3  wouhl  occur  with  great  freshness  to  my 
mind,  and  taught  me  the  signs  of  the  coming  of  the  Son 
of  man.  I  felt  renewed  zeal,  and  my  heart  glowed  with 
love  to  my  Savior. 

I  never  had  liberty  to  tell  those  things  in  my  class,  but 

irt.  Some- 


iP 


pond( 


my 


times  in  prayer  meeting  I  would  feel  such  a  desire  to  take 
up  my  cross  and  jn-ay,  that  I  could  scarcely  refiain,  but 
the  invitations  being  confined  to  the  brethren,  I  was  afraid 
to  offend. 

I  was  many  times  afraid  lest  the  fear  of  offending  man, 
kept  me  from  obeying  the  operation  of  the  Spirit  of  God, 
which  I  felt  in  my  heart. 


laud. 
I  and 
luiaii 


0  !  most  merciful  God,  the  fountain  of  all  goodness,  the 
maker  of  all  things,  visible  and  invisible  ;  Avho  knowest  all 
things,  and  doest  all  things  well.  What  a  weak,  ignorant, 
unworth}',  and  polluted  creature  I  am,  in  and  of  myself 
bof)re  thee. 

If  thou  hadst  left  me  to  myself,  surely  I  should  have 
been  like  those  that  went  down  to  the  pit.  I  have  there- 
fore no  claim  upon  divine  mercy,  from  any  good  in  myself, 


1G4 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


nor  for  any  thing  done  by  me  or  in  me  ;  therefore  I  re- 
nounce all  rn)'  own  righteousness  as  filthy  rags. 

It  is  onlv  in  and  throun;h  the  merits  and  atonement  of 
my  Redeemer,  thy  only  beloved  Son  Jesus  Christ,  by 
whom  alone  I  can  claim  thee  as  my  Father  and  my  God. 
By  his  suffo lings  and  death,  by  his  resurrection  and  as- 
cension, and  intercession  for  me,  unworthy  as  I  am,  that  I 
can  claim  right  to  the  tree  of  life  ;  and  do  trust  through 
thy  infinite  mercy,  that  I  shall  be  permitted  at  last  to  enter 
in  through  the  grates  into  the  eltv.  I  desire  to  adore  thee 
for  this  blessed  hope.  0  cleanse  me  from  all  sin.  Apply 
the  virtue  of  my  Savior's  precious  blood  for  a  healing  balm 
to  my  soul,  that  I  may  be  made  meet  for  the  heavenly 
inheritance,  and  be  found  among  the  sheep  at  thy  right 
hand. 

0,  happy  moment  when  I  shall  realize  the  answer  to 
this  petition.  Lord  I  am  thine,  save  me  ;  save  me  from  all 
evil ;  save  me  from  the  power  of  every  temptation.  Save  mo 
from  dishonoring  thy  worthy  name,  either  in  thought,  word, 
or  deed.  Save  rae  from  heart  wanderings,  from  deadness 
and  dullness  of  spirit,  from  hardness  of  heart ;  from  light- 
ness and  trifling.  Save  me  from  evil  speaking,  and  from 
pride.  Let  the  words  of  my  mouth,  and  the  meditation 
of  my  heart  be  acceptable  in  thy  sight  at  all  times. 

0,  my  heavenly  Father,  when  I  take  a  view  of  thy  past 
mercies,  I  am  astonished  and  lost  in  wonder,  why  such 
sincjular  ftivors  should  be  showed  to  such  an  unworthv 
worm  as  I  am. 

0,  enable  me  to  make  a  wise  improvement  of  them. 
Suifer  me  not  to  hide  my  talent  in  the  earth  ;  but  that 
I  may  improve  it  to  the  honor  and  glory  of  thy  great  name. 

I  humbly  pray  thee  to  hasten  the  coming  of  my  blessed 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


165 


re- 


ou'^h 


tbcni. 
that 


imc. 
lessfH 


\ 


Savior,  that  his  righteousness  may  cover  the  earth,  as  the 
\Yaters  cover  the  mighty  ocean. 

Eiilara;e  mv  heart  to  make  thee  room  ;  mav  mv  faith  be 
in  full  exercise,  and  my  love  abound  m.re  and  more  to  thee 
and  all  mv  fellow  mortals. 

Draw  them,  I  beseech  thee,  with  the  cords  of  thy  heav- 
enly love. 

May  Satan's  kingdom  fall  down  as  Dngon  before  the 
Ark  ;  may  he  lose  his  power  on  the  earth,  and  may  he 
be  confined  to  his  own  place  ;  and  grant  that  the  kingdom 
of  Jesus  Christ,  thy  dear  Son,  may  be  universally  set  up, 
and  show  forth  thy  praise  from  shore  to  shore,  and  from 
the  rivers  to  the  end  of  the  earth. 

What  blessings  I  humbly  ask,  are  in  the  worthy  name 
of  Jesus  Christ,  thy  dear  Son,  Amen. 

Januar)/ 2181,1^0^. — After  I  had  joined  the  Wesleyan 
cluirch,  I  was  informed  that  Mr.  G.,  one  of  the  members, 
did  not  live  agreeably  to  his  profession,  neither  j)raying  in 
his  family,  nor  asking  a  blessing  at  his  table.  It  providen- 
tiallv  occurred  that  the  Rev.  \Vm.  Black,  who  was  offici- 
ating  in  the  city  at  the  time,  gave  the  sacrament,  and  held 
a  love-feast,  at  which  he  urged  us  to  speak  of  the  present 
state  of  our  minds.  When  1  arose  to  speak,  I  could  only 
say  how  much  I  was  grieved  to  see  an  individual  go  forward 
who  neglected  Christian  duties,  and  did  not  live  a  Chris 
tiau  life.  I  sat  down  greatly  relieved  from  the  burden, 
and  thankful  to  the  Lord  who  had  given  mo  strength 
to  speak  as  I  hud  done,  and  alfording  mo  such  enjoyment 
and  peace  of  mind. 

I  afterwards  called  upon  the  Rev.  Mr.  Black,  with  whom 
I  had  a  lengthy  conversation  upon  various  subjects.     I 
15 


16G 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


received  his  instructions  and  reproofs  in  a  meek  and  Inini 
ble  spirit,  determined  it"  possilile  to  profit  tlicreby. 

Mr.  (t.  was  prosecuted  at  court,  and  withdrew  from  tlic 
connection.  'J'iiuiii^h  I  had  leen  tried  on  his  account,  I 
eiijoved  sucli  sweet  connnunion  witli  (lod  at  the  time  that 
it  liad  no  bad  clFect  upon  me.     Dless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul. 


CHAPTER    XVIII 


One  cloudv  day,  late  in  autumn,  my  hushand  took  his 
hired  man  and  my  nepliew,  a  Httle  boy,  and  went  into  the 
■woods  in  searcliof  cranl)erries.  After  their  departure,  the 
•\vcather  changing  became  very  raw,  cold,  with  occasional 
showers  of  snow.  Towards  night,  I  became  exceedingly 
uneasv  about  them,  and  concerued  f  )r  tlieir  safetv.  I  was 
obliged,  being  alone,  to  milk  the  cows,  and  take  the  best 
care  of  them  I  couM  ;  the  night  became  very  dark,  and 
everv  thinir  looked  drearv  ;  increased  by  the  fear  that  \uv 
family  was  lost  in  the  woods,  without  foo<l  or  sufficient 
clothing  to  keep  them  warm,  and  perhai)S  wandering  in  the 
A\ilderness,  not  able  to  find  their  way  home.  I  thought, 
if  this  be  the  case,  they  will  not  live  many  days,  but  perish 
with  cold  and  hunger. 

The  death  of  Mrs.  Ih-adlev  and  her  dear  little  children 
occurred  to  my  mind,  who  perished  on  their  way  from  Hal- 
ifax to  8t.  John,  in  a  boat, after  the  burning  of  the  vessel, 
about  the  same  time  of  the  year  and  the  same  kind  of 
weather;  audi  feared  my  poor  family  would  share  the 
same  fate.  O,  how  ditl  my  Uiind  fly  IVom  or.e  to  another 
of  them,  with  feelin LIS  better  conceived  than  can  be  de- 
scribed. 

I  walked  the  floor,  and  prayed,  and  strove  to  resign 

167 


168 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


tliem  up  to  tlio  will  of  my  heavenly  Father.  I  felt  afraid 
it  was  for  some  ne;^lcct  on  my  part,  that  this  evil  should 
come  upon  my  luishand,  and  those  who  were  with  him,  as 
well  as  upon  myself. 

I  prayed  to  the  Lord  to  spare  them,  and  pardon  my  sin 
and  to  enable  me  to  be  more  faithful  than  ever,  that  my 
future  life  mi^ht  show  forth  his  i)raise3.  After  I  had  ag- 
onized with  the  Lord,  with  tears  and  entreaties,  my  mind 
became  exccedin;i;ly  happy  ;  I  thought  I  could  endure  all 
things  through  Christ's  strengthening  me.  My  prayer 
was  turned  into  praise,  and  I  could  thank  him  for  all  his 
dealings  with  me.  While  I  was  in  this  happy  frame  of 
mind,  at  a  late  hour  of  the  niglit  they  came  home.  But 
0  wh;it  joy  I  felt  when  I  realized  their  safe  return,  though 
their  clothes  were  rent,  and  their  shoes  torn,  and  hungry, 
and  weary,  he  had  led  them  in  a  right  way  to  find  their 
liabitation. 

This  is  another  evidence  of  the  goodness  and  mercy 
of  God,  and  that  he  hearcth  and  answereth  prayer.  I 
had  no  other  refuge  ;  I  called  upon  him:  he  heard  my 
prayer,  and  delivered  me  out  of  all  my  trouble.  I  ex- 
yierieiiced  a  temporal  and  a  spiritual  deliverance,  and  felt 
the  obligation  I  was  under  to  love  and  serve,  honor  and 
obey  him. 

I  clearly  saw  the  propriety  of  making  a  full  surrender 
of  myself  and  all  that  was  dear  to  me  to  God,  and  of  put- 
ting my  whole  trust,  confidence,  and  de[)endence,  upon 
liim,  for  every  thing  both   temr)oral  and   spiritual  in   my 


future  life. 
Aftt 


ter  various 
atiou  of  man 


painftd  feelings,  arising  from   a  considci 


of  my  poor   fellow-creatures  going  down 
to  the  grave  iu  their  sius,  so  fearfully  unprepared  to  meet 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


160 


their  Gofl,  provklcntially,  I  had  a  very  interesting  conver- 
eation  whh  tlie  Rev.  Wm.  Lcnnett,  p.  \VesU\van  mission- 
arv,  \vlu)se  U'lvico  was  a  word  in  season.  Wlieu  opening 
my  mind  to  him,  he  said  1  must  wait  the  Lord's  time, 
and  if  lie  had  anything  for  me  to  d.),  lie  woidd  bring  it 
about  in  liis  own  wav,  and  agreeably  to  his  own  will.  I 
found  his  advice  to  be  very  comforting  and  encouraging, 
and  1  endeavored  to  follow  his  directions. 

While  I  was  thus  engaged,  I  did  nut  cease  making  my 
request  known  to  the  Lord  with  prayers  and  tears,  in  be- 
half of  his  cause,  and  the  conversion  of  mankind. 

0,  how  I  longed  to  see  the  millenium  take  place — when 
every  separating  wall  should  be  dissolved  which  had  sub- 
sisted between  different  denominations  of  professing  Chris- 
tians, and  when  all  believers  should  see  eye  to  eye  in  the 
plan  of  salvation,  through  the  merits  and  atonement  of 
the  blessed  Redeemer,  and  the  Spirit  of  God  flow  through 
every  heart,  as  oil  from  vessel  to  vessel. 

After  these  things,  my  mind  was  greatly  comforted ;  I 
could  give  up  all  to  the  Lord.  I  viewed  him  a  holy,  just, 
and  pure  being,  and  I  felt  a  constant  thirst  for  that  purity 
of  heart  which  would  make  me  meet  for  his  divine  pres- 
ence. 

My  soul  thirsted  for  God,  even  for  the  living  God  ; 
how  sweet  were  his  promises !  sweeter  than  honey  and 
the  honey-comb  to  the  taste.  Although  I  saw  and  real- 
ized my  own  unworthincss,  that  there  was  nothing  in  mo 
to  recommend  me  to  his  favor,  yet  I  saw  such  a  fulness 
and  fitness  in  my  Savior,  his  precious  blood  to  atone  for 
my  sin,  and  his  righteousness  to  justify  me,  I  thirsted  for 
all  the  mind  that  was  in  him.  I  hated  every  vain  thought 
■svhich  came  into  my  mind. 
15* 


170 


LIFE   AND   EXPEUIEN'CE   OF 


"  Far  from  my  thoughts,  Vi\in  world,  begone  ; 
Let  my  rclinrioiis  hours  alone  ; 
Fam  would  my  eyes  my  Savior  see, 
And  wait  a  visit,  Lord,  from  thco." 

I  had  faith  to  boheve  that  the  Lord  would,  in  his   owti 
good  time,  accomjilish  liis  work.     I  could  rest  upon  his 
Word,  and  commit  all  my  cares  to  him.    I  found  his  ways 
to  be  ways  of  pleasantness,  and  all  his  paths  peace. 

I  was  weaned  from  this  world,  and  felt  mv  treasure  was 
laid  up  in  heaven.  Instead  of  my  spiritual  enemies  tri- 
um})hing  over  me,  through  the  assistance  of  the  Holy 
Spirit,  they  were  concjuered.  Glory  to  God  for  his  un- 
bounded love  !  blessed  be  his  holy  name  for  ever  and 
ever.     0,  how  sweet  was  the  name  of  Jesus  to  ray  soul ! 

"  If  such  the  sweetness  of  the  streams, 
What  must  the  fountain  be, 
Wliere  saints  and  an?;el.s  draw  their  bliss. 
Immediately  from  thee  ? 

True  religion  is  heart-work :  it  gives  pleasure  to  the 
soul  ;  it  is  a  little  heaven  begun  below.  That  name  which 
charms  the  ho3t3  above,  I  felt  to  be  my  heavenly  theme. 
I  longed  to  see  his  lovely  face. 

Thus  I  went  on  enjoying  great  happiness  ;  sometimes 
for  weeks  together,  I  would  meet  with  nothing  to  inter- 
cept the  chain  of  my  meditations.  Still  I  thirsted  for 
more  of  his  lovely  presence  ;  it  was  all  my  cry,  Let  me  en- 
joy more  of  thee  ;  give  me  more  grace,  more  love,  more 
humility,  wean  me  more  from  this  transitory  world,  and 
give  me  brighter  hopes  and  evidences  of  my  title  to 
heaven. 

1  wanted  to  live  the  life  of  the  righteous,  fully  assured 
it  was  the  only  way  t}  secure  a  happy  and  triumphant 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY. 


171 


death.     I  w-inted  my  fellow  creatures  to  feel  and  enjoy 
the  game  salvation. 


the 
lich 
;rae. 


imes 

liter- 

for 

en- 

lore 

land 

to 


red 

ant 


"  ]f  all  the  world  my  Jesus  knew, 
All  the  world  would  love  him  too. 
0  that  the  workl  ir.ight  taste  and  see, 

The  riches  of  his  grace  ; 
The  arms  of  love  that  compass  me, 

^Vould  all  mankind  embrace." 

I  thought  I  was  highly  favored,  that  I  stood  upon  a  sure 
foundation.  I  sou.jtimes  fancied  myself  in  possession  of 
the  goodly  land  —  the  land  of  Canaan — and  listening  to 
the  word  of  command,  that  I  should  be  of  good  courage, 
and  my  enemies  should  be  as  ashes  under  the  soles  of  my 
feet ;  that  I  should  fight  the  good  fight  of  f\iith,  and  finish 
my  course  with  joy,  and  henceforth  was  laid  up  for  me  a 
crown  of  glory,  which  he  had  promised  to  all  those  who 
love  his  appearing. 

I  thought  my  lines  had  fallen  to  me  in  pleasant  places. 
I  hud  a  goodly  heritage,  and  I  hoped  always  to  enjoy  the 
same  happiness.  But  in  creation  there  are  valleys  as 
well  as  mountains,  and  frequently  they  are  the  most  fer- 
tile ;  the  most  pleasing  may  not  be  always  the  most  profit- 
able. In  every  changing  scene  of  life  through  which  we 
pass,  new  trials  and  temptations  arise. 

One  night,  in  the  first  of  the  summer  of  1805,  I  had  a 
dream,  in  which  1  thought  a  large  flock  of  ducks  lit  down 
all  around  me  ;  and  as  soon  as  I  saw  them,  it  occurred  to 
me,  the  Lord  had  sent  them  for  a  token  that  I  shoidd 
never  want  for  either  food  or  raiment.  At  first,  I  was  in 
great  haste  to  catch  and  kill  as  fast  as  I  could,  fearing 
they  would  fly  away  before  I  had  secured  a  suflicient  sup- 
ply;  but  the  little  creatures  huddled  around  me,  as  tame 


172 


LIFE   AND    KXPKKIENTE   OF 


as  if  I  lind  filwnvs  fed  th^^Tr.  r.fu]  when  I  stooped  down, 
uould  cmwd  tlieir  heads  ii.i  mv  'rnid  as  if  tliev  wanted 
to  '•<•  taken —  for  tlicv  u<'re  sent  for  that  pnrpo.se.  When 
I  liad  doiit.'  kidin;^  tlieni,  1  h)oked  around  me  \\'\t\\  admira- 
tiitji  and  astonislnuLMit,  to  see  the  ten^poral  supply,  as  1 
thou^iit,  s«'nt  nie  from  heaven,  nith  my  lieart  lifted  \ip 
with  u'l'iititiide  to  my  Maker,  having  their  flesh  for  food, 
and  tlieir  ft'athers  for  heds,  and  what  is  best  of  all,  a 
token  from  (Jod  that  I  shall  never  want. 

When  I  awoke,  I  wondered  what  it  should  moan,  as  I 
was  not  in  any  trou))le  or  fear  at  the  time,  about  any 
worldly  concern  whatever. 

While  I  was  musin;j;,  it  occurred  to  me,  perhaps  in  a 
short  time  I  might  l)e  otherwise  situated,  and  this  might  be 
a  comfort  and  support  to  me.  I  thought  the  time  is  nigh, 
when  our  hay  harvest  will  come  on,  a  season  which  lias 
always  brought  its  trials;  the  suggestion  was  realized  ;  for 
wo  never  had  so  disco\ira,:iing  a  season,  neither  did  we  ever 
meet  with  so  much  loss  in  our  hay  ;  so  that  my  husband 
became  onite  discou railed  in  the  business. 

Satan  left  nothing  undone  to  cast  me  down  and  destroy 
the  peace  and  happiness  of  my  mind  ;  b»it  well  aware  of 
his  devices,  and  knowing  T  had  no  strength  of  my  own  to 
resist  him.  I  looked  to  the  stroni;;  for  stren;rth. 

Satan  is  a  cunning  adveisary,  he  goeth  about  as  a  roar 
ing  lion,  seeking  whom  he  may  devour  ;  he  loves  to  cast" 
Ills  net  about  those  Avho  are  in  trouble  :  He  is  indeed  a 
liar,  and  the  father  of  lies,  and  a  liai  is  not  to  be  believed 
though  he  should  speak  the  truth,  he  is  a  great  enemy  to 
truth,  and  truth  is  a  great  enemy  to  him,  he  cannot  stand 
his  ground,  when  truth,  in  the  hand  of  faith  is  lirndy 
engaged  against  him. 


MRS.    MARY   BUADLEV. 


1  T^ 
1  i  o 


lestroy 
arc  of 
iwii  to 

I'onr 

lo  CllSL 
heed  a 
llieved 
|my  to 
I  stand 
liirndy 


Our  Itlessod  S^avior  found  it  so,  ^^llcn  lie  was  attacked 
})y  liini :  l)ut  ulieii  Satan  (jiioted  the  Serij>tures  erroneuuslv, 
Christ  (pioted  them  correctly. 

Wlieu  I  bc^an  to  feel  liis  tiery  darts,  I  liad  recourse  to 

the  records  of  (jod's  lioly  Wurd  ;  and  when  he  sujx^ested 

the  evil   conseciuenco   of  our   concerns,  ami   tempted  mc 

to  murmer    a;^ainst   the   allot*nents   of  Providence,   over 

which  we  coiild  luivc  no  control,  I  was  enai)led  to  resist  liim 

in  the   strength   t»f  the  Lord  ;    ami  prayed   earnestly  for 

submission  to  his  blessed  will  ;  and  if  he  saw  fit  to  try  mo 

in  the  furnace  of  aflliction,  that  he  would  .iiivc  me  patience, 

nnd  sanctify  it  to  the  <:oo(l  of  mv  soul.    Hut  Satan  attacked 

mc  with   threat  force,  as  though  he   would  not  be  foiled, 

claiming  it   as  his  o[)portunity,  to  make  me  his  prey.     I 

was   deteimined  in  the  strength  of  Lord  that  1  would  not 
yield. 

"  III  all  my  trouble's  sliiirpcst  sting, 
My  soul  to  .Icsiis  llii'«  ; 
My  iUK'liur's  liold  is  fiiiii  in  liim, 
When  swelling  billow's  rii?e." 

I  thought  over  my  past  life,  and  called  to  mind  tho 
dealing  hand  of  God  with  me,  and  the  many  victories  he 
had  enabled  me  to  obtain  over  my  spiritual  enemies  ;  and 
I  believed  he  was  as  able  and  willing  as  ever  to  assist  mc, 
and  therefore  concluded  : 

"  Never  will  T  remove, 

Out  of  thy  hands  my  course, 
But  trust  ill  thy  rciieiining  love, 
i\iul  liuiig  upon  thy  cross.'' 


CHAPTER    XIX. 


WiiKX  I  tliouiilit  npon  the  Scripture  records  of  many 
valiant  Sfrvjuits  of"  tlie  Lord,  \\\\n  \vere  called  to  fight  his 
battles,  and  stood  their  ;^roiuid,  if  I  had  tlie  same  deu'rec 
of  faith,  and  louu'ht  as  manfully  as  they  did,  I  mii^lit  con- 
quer too  :  for  all  things  are  possille  to  him  that  believeth. 
Only  helieve,  and  thou  shalt  see  the  salvation  of  (jod. 
Theynho  trust  in  the  liord  shall  be  as  Mount  Zion,  that 
shall   never  be  removed. 

A'lraham  i).dieved,  and  received  the  ])romised  blessing  ; 
and  ^\hen  Joshua  took  the  lead  of  the  children  of  Israel, 
after  they  passed  over  Jcu'dan,  went  against  Jericho  and 
subdued  it,  with  no  other  weapon  than  the  sounding  of 
ranrs-horiis. 

ISamson  also,  Avhen  his  enemies  beset  him  round  about, 
found  a  new  jnw-boue  of  an  ass,  and  put  f  trth  his  hand, 
and  toiik  it,  and  slow  ;t  thousand  men  therewith  :  Judges, 
\')  :  1.").  And  when  he  was  lioimr  down  to  'rinmuth  with 
his  father  :ind  Uiothei-,  a  young  lion  roariMl  a;.',ainst  him, 
and  the  Spirit  of  t!io  Lord  eame  miglitily  upon  him,  and 
ho  rent  him  as  ho  would  have  rent  a  kid. 

Ihivid  alsi',  when  ho  was  lut  a  strijjliiig,  triumphed  over 
the  enemies  of  God,  and  Israel. 

174 


MRi^.    MAPvY    15RADLEY. 


1  (0 


1  Srimne!  Chap.  17.  —  Now  l!it>  Pliilistinos  i.'at'iorcd  toirotlior  (heir 
nrmii's  to  l):ittle,  and  wnro  ^atlnMiMl  tnoctlier  at  Slioclioli,  winch  bo- 
loni^f.'tli  to  Jiidah,  aiui  pilchud  bolween  Sliochoh  and  AzL'Iiah.  in 
Ej)hi">s-(l;iiiiiiiiiii. 

And  Saul  and  the  iiioti  of  Israrl  wcro  o-athpriMl  toijolhor,  and 
pitchod  by  tliL'  valley  of  Elali,  and  sot  tin;  l)attlo  in  array  aj^ainst 
the  IMiilistitiPs. 

And  the  Philistinos  stood  on  a  tnonnfain  nn  the  one  sido,  and 
I.sraol  stood  on  a  nioiintain  on  llio  othorsido  :  and  there  was  a  valley 
between  tlwMn. 

And  there  went  out  a  charnf)ion  ont  of  the  camp  ofthe  Philistines* 
named  Goliath,  of  (iath,  whose  hei;,'ht  was  six  cubits  and  a  span. 

And  ho  had  an  holmot  of  brass  upon  his  head,  and  ho  was  armed 
with  a  coat  of  mail;  and  tho  weight  of  the  coat  was  five  tlunjsand 
shekels  of  brass. 

And  he  had  greaves  of  brass  upon  his  legs,  and  a  target  of  brass 
between  his  shoulders. 

And  the  staff  of  his  spear  was  like  a  weaver's  beam;  and  his 
spear's  head  weighed  six  hundred  shekels  of  iron:  and  oiie  bearing 
a  shield  went  before  him. 

And  he  stood  and  cried  unto  the  armies  of  Israel,  and  said  unto 
them.  Why  are  ye  come  out  to  set  your  battle  in  array  ?  am  not  I  a 
Philistine,  aud  ye  servants  to  Saul  ?  choose  you  a  man  for  you,  and 
let  him  come  down  to  wc. 

If  ho  bo  able  to  fight  with  mo,  and  kill  me,  then  will  we  be  your 
servants ;  but  if  I  prevail  against  him,  and  kill  him,  then  shall  yc  bo 
our  servants,  and  serve  us. 

And  the  Philistine  said.  I  defy  tho  armies  of  Israel  this  day  ;  •rivo 
mo  a  man,  that  \v(!  may  tight  together. 

When  Saul  and  all  Israel  heard  those  words  of  the  Philistine, 
they  were  dismayed,  and  greatly  afraid. 

Now  David  was  the  son  of  that  Ephrathito  of  Betlilehem-judah, 
whoso  name  was  .Tesse  ;  and  ho  had  eight  sous  ;  aud  tho  man  Avent, 
among  men  for  an  old  man  in  the  days  of  Saul. 

And  tho  three  eldest  sons  of  Jesso  wont  and  followed  Saul  to  tiic 
battle  :  and  the  names  of  his  three  sons  that  went  to  the  battle  wore 
Eliab  the  first  born,  and  next  unto  him  Abinadab,  and  tho  third 
Shnmniah. 


176 


LIFE   AXD   EXPERIENCE   OF 


Aivl  David  was  the  younjfest :  nnd  the  tliree  eldest  followed 
Smil. 

But  D.ivhI  wont  and  rrttirnod  from  Saul  tu  feed  his  fatiicr's  sheep 
at  Brthlohcin. 

And  thi'  Philistine  drew  near  rnornin;^  and  evening,  and  present- 
ed himself  forty  days. 

And  Jesse  said  unto  David  his  son,  Take  now  for  thy  brethren 
an  epliah  of  this  parched  corn,  and  these  ten  loaves,  and  run  to  the 
camp  to  thy  brethren  : 

And  curry  tln-se  ten  cheeses  unto  the  cnptain  of  their  thousand, 
and  look  how  thy  bretiiren  fare,  and  take  their  pledn-e. 

Now  Saul,  and  they,  and  all  the  men  of  Israel  were  in  the  valley 
of  Elah,  tiL''htini,'  with  the  Plulistines. 

And  David  rose  up  early  in  the  morning,  and  left  the  sheep  with 
a  keeper,  and  took,  and  went,  as  Jesse  had  commanded  liim  ;  and 
he  came  to  the  trench,  as  the  host  was  going  fortij  to  the  fight,  and 
siK.utfd  fur  the  battle. 

For  Israel  and  the  Philistines  had  put  the  battle  in  array,  army 
against  army. 

Attd  David  left  his  carriage  in  the  hand  of  the  keeper  of  thecar- 
ria^fe,  and  ran  into  the  army,  and  came  and  saluted  his  brethren. 

And  as  he  talked  with  them,  behold,  there  came  up  the  champion, 
the  IMiiiistinc  of  Gath,  Goliath  by  name,  out  of  tlie  armies  of  the 
Philistines,  and  spake  according  to  the  sume  words  :  and  David 
heard  them. 

And  all  the  men  of  Israel,  when  they  saw  the  man,  fled  from  him, 
and  were  sore  afraid. 

And  the  men  of  Israel  said.  Have  ye  seen  this  man  that  is  come 
up  ?  surely  to  defy  Israel  is  he  come  up  :  and  it  shall  be,  that  the 
man  who  killeth  him,  the  king  will  enrich  him  with  great  riches, 
and  will  give  him  his  daughter,  and  make  liis  father's  house  free  in 
Israel. 

And  David  spake  to  the  men  that  stood  by  him,  saying.  What 
shall  be  done  to  the  man  that  killeth  this  Philistine,  and  taketh 
away  the  reproach  from  Israel  ?  for  who  is  this  uncircumciscd 
Philistine,  that  he  should  defy  the  armies  of  the  living  God  ? 

And  the  j)cople  answered  him  after  this  nianner,  saying.  So  shall 
it  bo  done  to  the  man  that  killeth  him. 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


177 


Icome 
jilt  the 
lichep, 
liee  in 

Iwhat 
Inketh 
Hciscd 

shall 


An(\  Eliab  his  eldest  brother  heard  when  he  spake  unto  the  men 
and  Eliab's  anj^er  wns  kindled  airainst  Uavid,  and  he  siiid,  Why 
canipst  ihoii  down  hither  ?  and  with  whom  hast  thou  left  those  few 
sheep  in  the  wilderness  ?  I  know  thy  pride,  and  the  naiiL^htiness  of 
thine  heart;  for  thou  art  come  down  that  thou  mightest  see  the 
battle. 

And  David  said,  What  have  I  now  done  ?  U  there  not  a  canse? 

And  he  turned  from  hitn  toward  another,  and  spake  after  the 
same  manner:  and  the  people  answered  him  a<rain  after  the  former 
manner. 

And  when  the  words  were  heard  which  David  spake,  they  re- 
liearsed  them  before  Saul  :  and  ho  sent  for  him. 

And  David  said  to  S.ml,  Let  no  man's  heart  fail  because  of  hnn  ; 
thy  servant  will  ao  and  fi^ht  with  this  Philistine. 

And  Saul  said  to  David,  Thou  art  not  able  to  go  ajrainst  this 
Philistme  to  tiijhl  with  him  :  for  thou  art  but  a  youth,  and  he  a  man 
of  war  from  his  youth. 

And  David  said  unto  Saul,  Thy  servant  kept  his  father's  sheep, 
and  there  cume  a  lion,  and  a  bear,  and  took  a  laiat)  out  of  the 
flock  : 

And  I  went  out  after  him  and  smote  him,  and  delivered  it  out  of 
his  mouth  :  and   when  he  arose  ajjainst  me,  I  caujfht  iiim  by  his 
beard  and  smote  him,  and  slew  hi.n. 

Thy  servant  slew  both  the  lion  and  the  bear:  and  this  uncircum 
cised  Pliilistine  shall  be  na  one  of  them,  seeing  he  hath  defied  the 
armies  of  the  livino;  God. 

David  said  moreover.  The  f-ord  hath  delivered  me  out  of  the  paw 
of  the  lion,  and  out  of  the  pa  >  jf  the  bear,  and  he  will  deliver  me 
out  of  the  hand  of  this  Philu  ire.  And  Saul  said  unto  David,  Go, 
and  the  Lord  t"^  '^itit  tli«e. 

And  Say]  armed  David  with  his  armour,  and  he  put  an  helmet  of 
brass  ii(ion  his  head  ;  nldo  he  arm'-d  him  with  a  coac  of  mail. 

And  David  girded  iiis  sword  upon  his  armour,  and  he  assayed  to 
;^o  ;  tor  he  liad  not  proved  it.  And  David  said  utJto  Saul,  I  carir.ot 
{jfo  with  these,  for  I  h've  not  proved  them.  And  David  put  them 
otr  him. 

And  he  took  his  staff  in  liis  hand,  and  chose  him  five  smooth 
stones  out  of  the  brook  and  put  thern  in  a  shepherd'a  bag  which  he 

16 


178 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


hful,  nvon  in  a  scrip  ;  and  his  8lin;T  was  in  his  hand  :  and  ho  drew 
noar  to  the  iMiilistiiiP. 

And  thf  I'hiliHtiiK,'  caiiio  on.  iind  drow  nnar  unto  David  ;  and  the 
niim  that  licai-  the  shield  went  hcforo  him. 

.And  \vli(;ii  t.lic  Plnlistine  hxiked  about,  and  .saw  David,  he  dis- 
daiiM'(l  him;  lor  he  was  bni  a  youth,  and  ruihly,  and  of  t'air  counte- 
nance. 

And  the  Phili.slino  said  inito  David,  Am  I  a  dorf,  that  thou  com- 
e.st  to  rnc  with  staves  .-  and  tiie  IMiilisline  cursed  David  by  iii.s 
gods. 

And  the  Pliilistine  said  to  David,  Come  to  me,  and  will  irlvc  thy 
flesh  unto  the  fowls  of  the  air,  and  to  the  beasts  of  the  field. 

Then  said  David  to  the  Philisline,  Thou  romest  to  me  with  a 
sword,  and  with  a  spear,  and  with  a  shield  :  but  I  come  to  tiiee  in 
the  name  of  the  Lord  of  hosts,  the  (iod  of  the  armies  of  Israel, 
whom  thou  hast  delied. 

This  day  will  the  Lord  deliver  thee  into  mine  hand:  and  I  will 
sniite  thrse,  and  take  thine  head  from  thee  ;  and  I  will  give  the  car- 
casses oflhtliost  of  the  Phi'istines  this  day  unto  the  fowls  of  the 
air,  and  to  the  ^iid  beasts  of  the  earth  :  that  all  the  earlh  may 
know  that  there  is  a  Ood  in  Israel. 

And  all  this  assembly  shall  know  that  the  Lord  saveth  not  with 
sword  and  spear  :  for  the  battle  is  the  Lord's,  and  he  will  give  you 
into  onr  hands. 

And  it  came  to  pass,  when  the  PhiUstino  arose,  and  came  and 
drew  nigh  to  meet  David,  that  David  hasicd,  and  ran  toward  the 
army  to  meet  the  Philistine. 

And  David  |.ut  his  liand  in  his  bag,  and  look  thence  a  stone,  and 
slang  it,  and  smote  the  Phdistine  in  his  forehead,  that  the  stone 
sank  into  his  forehead;  and  he  fell  upon  his  face  to  the  earth. 

So  David  prevailed  over  the  Philistine  with  a  sHno  .-^1  with  a 
stone,  and  etnote  the  Philistine  and  slew  him  :  but  there  was  no 
sword  in  the  hand  of  David. 

Therefore  David  ran  and  stood  upon  the  Philistine,  and  took  hvs 
sword,  and  drew  it  out  of  the  sheath  thereof,  and  slow  him,  and  cut 
off  his  head  therewith.  And  when  the  Philistines  saw  their  cham- 
pion was  dead,  they  fled. 

And  the  men  of  Israel  and  of  Judah  arose,  and  shouted,  and  pur- 


MKS.    MARY    li  RAD  LEY. 


179 


s\\e(]  the  Philistines,  until  thou  come  to  the  valley,  and  to  the  gates 
of  Ekroii.  And  the  wuiiiuli'd  of  the  I'hilistiiios  tell  down  by  the 
way  to  Shaar.'iiin,  even  unto  Gatii,  and  unto  likron. 

And  tlie  children  of  Israid  retnriuHl  tVuni  chasing  alter  the  I'hilis- 
tint's,  and  they  spoiled  their  tents. 

And  Huvid  took  the  head  of  the  Philistine,  and  brought  it  to 
Jerusalem  ;  but  he  put  iiis  armour  in  iiikj  tent. 

And  when  Saul  saw  David  go  forth  ai>ainst  the  r'hilistino,he  said 
(.into  Abner  the  captain  of  the  host,  Abnrr,  whose  son  is  this  youth? 
And  Abner  said,  As  tiiv  soul  liveth,  O  king,  I  cannot  tell. 

And  (he  king  said,  fntpiire  thou  whose  son  the  6trip[)ling  is. 

And  as  Diivid  returned  from  the  slaughter  of  the  Philistines, 
Abner  took  him,  and  brought  iiim  before  bJaul,  with  the  head  of  the 
Philistin(<  in  ins  hand. 

And  Saul  said  to  him.  Whose  son  art  thou,  tIio\i  young  man? 
And  David  answered,  I  am  tlie  son  of  thy  servant  Jesse  the  Ceth- 
iemite. 

Wlic-ii  I  road  those  mtci'cstiu^  accounts,  I  considered 
iliein  to  be  ii^iirative.  Those  professed  enemies,  Pharaoh, 
l\iii,j;  of  Egypt,  Agag,  king  of  the  Amalekites,  and  Goliath 
of  (jiatli,  to  rei)resent  »Satan  ;  and  tlioso  under  their  con- 
trol, and  ill  their  servieOj  to  represent  our  s[)iritual  ene- 
mies, the  depravity  of  our  liaturc,  our  hesetting  sins. 

JSatan  is  constantly  engaged  against  the  interests  of 
Christ's  kingdom,  to  devise  ineaiis  how  to  accora})lish  the 
destruction  of  maid^ind.  But  the  blessed  Jesus  is  fully 
able  to  save  to  the  uttermost,  all  wlio  come  to  God  through 
him  fur  refuge,  from  these  nuiiierous  and  j)0tent  foes,  and 
from  all  their  fierce  allies.  "  Resist  the  devil,  and  he 
will  flee  fi'om  you." 

It  occurred  to  me  as  my  enemies  are  spiritual,  the 
weapons  of  my  warfare  must  be  spiritual  also  :  of  which 
I  found  a  confirmation  in  the  6th  of  Ephesians,  and  tenth 
and  following  verses  : 


1^ 


180 


LIFE    AND    EXPKRIENC'E    OF 


Finally  my  bictliren,  be  strong  in  the  I.on),  and  in  the  power  of 
his  might. 

Put  on  the  whole  armour  of  God,  that  ye  may  be  able  to  stand 
against  the  wiles  of  the  (hvii. 

For  wn  wrestle  not  against  flesh  and  blood,  but  against  princi- 
palities, against  powers,  against  the  rnlers  of  the  darkness  of  this 
world,  against  spiritual  wicl-edness  in  high  plaees. 

Wherefore  take  nnto  you  the  whole  armotrr  of  God,that  ye  may  be 
able  to  withstand  in  the  evil  day,  and  having  done  all  to  stand. 

Stand  thomfore,  having  your  loins  girt  about  with  truth,  anii 
having  on  the  breastplate  of  righteousness  ; 

And  your  feet  shod  with  the  preparation  of  the  gospel  of  peace; 

Ai)oveall,  taking  the  shield  of  faith,  wherewith  ye  shall  quencL- 
all  the  fiery  darts  of  the  wicked. 

And  take  the  helmet  of  safration,  and  the  sword  of  the  Spirit, 
which  is  the  word  of  Godv 

Praying  always  with  II  prayer  and  snpplicntion  in  the  ?^pirit, 
and  watching  thereunto  with  all  perseverance  and  su()i)lication  for 
all  saints. 

Thus  I  was  plaii)fy  tauglit,  I>y  tlic  VVot-d  of  God,  what 
j^ind  of  weapons  were  to  be  used,  in  order  to  conquer  my 
spiritual  enemies  ;  and  when  Satan  should  come  like  t* 
floo<],  a  standard  was  lifted  up  against  him.  The  language 
of  the  prophet  Habakkuk,  3  :  17,  greatly  encouraged  me. 

Although  the  fig-tree  shall  not  blossom,  neither  shnll  fruit  be  in 
the  vines  :  the  labor  of  ihe  olive  shall  fail,  and  the  tields  shiill  yield 
no  ment  ;  the  fiock  shall  be  cut  r.{Tlrom  the  fold,  and  there  shiill  bo 
no  herd  in  the  stalls  :  Vet  I  will  rej.iice  in  the  Lord,  1  will  joy  in 
the  God  of  my  sa  vatioii. 

When  contrasting  myself  with  the  Word  of  God,  I  IVmnd 
the  world  swayed  my  heart  too  much;  I  couI«l  not  submif 
i">  loses,  and  crapses,  and  tlisapj  ointments,  witlioiit  being 
>n  some  degi-'-.'  cast  down  and  unhnptjv.  1  had  too  i^reai 
ii  desire  for  worldly  pros|ierity.  I  was  convince*!  I  had  arj 
enemy  secreted  within,  which  must  be  subdued  before  I 
could  cheerfully  adopt  the  language  of  Ilabakkuk. 


MRS.    MARY    JiRADLEY. 


181 


I  was  sensible  unless  I  obtained  such  a  degree  of  <^raco 
as  to  enable  me  to  be  satisfied  with  what  God  in  his  wise 
rrovidencc  had  allotted  me,  whether  it  wore  )toverty,  or  a 
conilbrtable  competency,  I  sh  .uld  be  at  war  with  l*rovi- 
dence,  and  with  a  discontented,  munTmriii;^;  spirit,  Satan 
would  always  find  izround  to  shelter  hiniself,  and  would  be 
always  disturbin;^  my  ])eace,  nnd  I  should  be  liable  to 
grieve  the  Spirit  of  God,  and  cause  him  to  withdraw. 
The  idea  of  boin;:;  left  in  such  a  state  I  could  not  bear  : 


what 


fuagc 
me. 


he  in 

yield 

i.-.llbo 

joy  in 

(HUld 

ul'mii" 
bfing 
grcaJ 
ad  arj 
ore  I 


"  2so  I  in  the  strength  of  Jcsu»,  no  I 
I  never  will  give  up  my  shield  !" 

Those  words  were  applied  to  my  mind  :  "  Prove  me  and 
see  if  I  will  not  open  the  windows  of  heaven  and  pour  you 
out  a  blessing,  such  as  there  shall  not  be  room  to  con- 
tain." 

I  felt  thankful  to  the  Lord  for  tlie  temptations  which  I 
had  been  enabled  to  endure  as  a  trial  of  mv  faith  and  love, 
and  the  discovery  of  my  own  weakness,  and  the  secret 
enemy  of  my  heart,  which  had  so  bound  me  to  the  world. 

It  seemed  as  if  everv  cord  which  tied  me  to  the  world 
gave  way,  and  when  Satan  again  assaulted  mc,  I  could 
call  to  mind  young  David  with  his  shng  and  stone,  and 
Joshua,  throwing  the  walls  of  Jericho  down.  Daniel, 
also,  cast  into  the  lion's  den  ;  but  the  Lord  graciously  de- 
livered him. 

Shadrach,  Meshach,  and  Abednego,  were  thrown  into 
the  fire  ;  but  the  Lord  rescued  them. 

At  the  command  of  Joshua,  the  heavenly  bodies  sus- 
pending their  operations  until  he  gained  the  victory  over 
his  enemies. 

If  Goliath  had  not  gone  forward  and  defied  the  armies 
16* 


JOOt'Si 


182 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OP 


of  Israel,  he  prol)ai)ly  would  not  liave  been  killed.  If 
Satan  had  nut  taken  tlie  advantage  of  me  in  my  trials  and 
afflictions,  perhaps  I  should  not  have  had  such  a  discovery 
of  liis  devices,  and  the  deceitfulucss  of  rny  own  heart ;  nei- 
ther should  1  have  had  such  f»roof  of  the  lovin;^  kindness 
of  the  Lord,  in  enabling  me  by  his  grace  to  endure  and 
stand  my  ground  against  my  spiritual  foes,  and  not  let 
them  triumph  over  me.  Glory  he  to  God,  mv  faith  and 
love  were  greatly  strengthened,  and  my  resolution  to  obey 
his  voice. 

When  Satan  again  attacked  me,  I  could  sing  with  the 
poet : 

"  By  whom  was  Dftvifl  tau<;ht, 

Toaim  the  dreuli   1  blow  ? 
Wlien  he  (iolinth  foii_'>t, 

Ami  laid  the  Gittite  low  ! 
No  sword  nor  spear  the  stripling  took, 
But  chose  a  pebble  from  the  brook. 


'Twas  Israel's  Ood  and  kinpr, 
Who  sent  him  forth  to  fight ; 

Who  gave  him  strength  to  sling, 
And  skill  to  aim  aright. 

Ye  feeble  saints,  your  strength  endiires , 

Because  young  David's  God  is  yours. 

Who(  rdered  Gideon  forth, 
To  storm  the  invader's  camp  ; 

With  arms  of  little  worth, 
A  pitcher  and  a  Uinip. 

The  trumpet*^  made  his  coming  known. 

And  all  thehoJ't  was  overthrown." 


0  !  how  loth  was  Sa-tan  to  take  his  departure,  for  he 
would  be  stiU  darting  into  my  mind  a  variety  of  circum- 
etances,  trying  to  my  di8j(>osition,  to  prevent  resiguatiou 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLKY. 


183 


the 


to  God's  holy  will,  but  blcascil  be  hi;?  name,  he  enabled  mo 
to  turn  a  deaf  car  to  Satan  at  once,  and  to  sing : 

"  Altliongli  tlie  vine  hi:'  fruits  rleny, 
Tlic  empty  stiill  no  herd  afTord, 
Rut  perish  all  the  bleating  race  ; 
Yet  will  I  triumph  in  the  Lord, 
The  God  of  my  salvation  praise." 

My  heart  rejoiced  in  the  Lord,  ami  my  mouth  was  filled 
■with  his  praises,  and  the  enemy  seein;^  himself  so  com- 
pletely baffled,  seemed  to  sneak  off  like  a  snake  in  tho 
grass. 

From  my  first  sotting  out  in  religion,  I  had  been  im- 
pressed with  the  danger  of  worldly  entanglement  ;  it  had 
been  my  daily  prayer  to  be  saved  from  its  snares,  and  that 
my  affections  might  be  jjlaeed  on  things  above. 

Though  I  have  been  at  times  greatly  tempted  and  cast 
down,  1  have  never  indulged  in  any  known  sin,  or  fled  to 
the  world  for  happiness.  Blessed  be  the  Lord,  who  hath 
brought  me  hitherto,  and  for  the  settled,  peaceful  state  of 
mind  I  continued  to  enjoy  to  the  end  of  the  year. 

The  name  of  Jesus  was  my  constant  theme,  and  his 
promises  ray  daily  delight. 

I  had  a  number  of  favorite  hymns  which  were  expressive 
of  the  state  of  my  mind,  and  being  the  language  of  my 
heart,  I  sung  them  with  great  pleasure  and  edification. 


he 
ixixn- 
Ltion 


1  Lo  !  I  come  with  joy  to  do, 

'I'he  Masters  blessed  will  ; 
Hitn  in  outward  works  pursue, 

And  serve  his  pleasure  still. 
Faithful  lo  my  Lf)rd's  comrnands, 

J  still  would  choose  the  better  part ; 
Serve  with  careful  Martha's  haiids, 

And  loving  Mary's  heart. 


184 


Lli-K   AND   EXPEIUENCE   OF 


2  Careful  wiiliotji  raiQ  1  am, 

Nor  tt:el  rny  happy  toil ; 
Ki'pt  ill  priKM'  l)y  Jt'Hiis'  n.iiiic, 

.Su[)[)()rlt'(l  by  Ins  smilo. 
Jdsfiil  thus  my  faith  t<    -how, 

I  find  his  survH'O  my  reward  ; 
Mvery  work  I  do  bplow, 

I  do  it  to  the  L(^rd> 

3  Thou,  ("^  Lord,  in  tfndf'riove, 

Do^i  nil  my  bmth'iis  bear; 
Lifts  my  heart  to  thmirs  .ibove, 

And  fix  it  ever  there  ! 
Calm  on  tumult's  wheel  I  sit, 

Midst  busy  multitudes  alone, 
Sweetly  wailing'  at  thy  feet. 

Till  all  tliy  will  be  done. 

4  Thou,  O  Lord,  my  portion  art, 

Before  I  hence  remove  ; 
Now  my  treasure  and  my  heart 

Are  all  laid  up  above  :  — 
Far  above  all  earthly  things. 

While  yet  my  hands  are  here  employed 
Sees  my  soul  the  King  of  kings, 

And  freely  talks  with  God. 


5  O  that  all  the  art  mi<iht  know 

Of  living  thus  to  thee, 
Find  their  heaven  begun  below, 

And  here  thy  glory  see; 
Walk  in  all  the  works  prepared 

By  thee  to  exercise  their  grace. 
Till  they  gain  their  full  reward. 

And  see  thy  glorious  face! 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 

1   O  ihou  wlio  cainrst  from  iibovo, 

Tin'  pnrt'  cplestml  firo  to  impart  — 

(^n  ifio  iiii'firi  iiltiir  ut"  my  lit-art. 


185 


i> 


2  Tlioro  If.'t  it  for  tliv  irlory  liiirri. 

With  iiifXtiiiLMiisliiiblu  lilazt' ; 
And  tremhlirii;  to  its  source  return, 
111  luiinble  love  uiid  fervent  piuiae. 

3  Jesii^,  confirm  my  heart's  desire 

To  '     ;k,  anil  spe.ik,  and  think  for  thee; 
StiM  I.  i  iiM    <4u;ird  the  holy  lire, 
A>i(J      ili  .-,tir  np  iliy  irit't  in  me. 

4  R<  idy  l()r  all  ihy  perfect  will, 

Thy  acts  of  faith  and  love;  repeat; 
Till  death  thy  endless  mercies  seal. 
And  make  the  sacrifice  complete. 


1  When  quiet  in  my  honse  I  sit, 

Thy  book  be  my  companion  still  ; 
My  joy,  thy  sayings  to  repeat, 

Tiilk  o'er  the  records  of  thy  will, 
And  search  the  oracles  divine, 
Till  every  heartfelt  word  bt;  mine. 


2  O,  may  the  gracious  words  divine, 
Subject  of  all  my  converse  he  ; 
So  will  the  liord  his  follower  join, 

And  walk  and  tiilk  himself  with  me 
So  shall  my  heart  hi.>  presence  prove, 
And  burn  with  everlasting  love. 


# 


^o"-T- 


IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT-3) 


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4. 


VL 


1.0 


I.I 


11.25 


If  1^ 


M 
U    11 1.6 


Photographic 

Sciences 
Corporation 


23  WEST  MAIN  STREET 

WEBSTER,  NY.  14580 

(716)  872-4503 


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180 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


3  Oil  as  I  lay  me  down  to  rest, 

O,  may  thu  reconciling  word 
Sweetly  compose  my  «eury  breast, 

Willie  un  liiij  bosum  ol  my  Lord, 
I  siiili  in  blisst'ul  dreams  away, 
And  visions  ot"  eternal  day. 

4  llisiniT  to  sinj^  my  Savior's  praise, 

Tliee  may  J  publisii  all  day  long  ; 
And  let  tliy  precious  word  of  grace 

Flow  I'rom  my  heart,  and  till  my  tongue. 
Fill  all  my  heart  witli  purest  love. 
And  join  me  to  the  church  above. 


1  I  '11  praise  my  IMaker  wiiile  I've  breath, 
And  when  my  voice  is  lost  in  death, 

Praise  shall  employ  my  nobler  powers. 
]\Iy  (lays  of  praise  shall  ne'er  be  past, 
While  life,  and  thought,  or  being  last, 

Or  immortality  endures. 


2  ITappy  the  man  whose  hopes  rely 
On  IsraePs  God;  he  muth^  the  sky, 

And  earth,  and  seas,  witli  all  their  train; 
His  truth  for  ever  stands  secure, 
He  saves  the  oppressed,  he  feeds  the  poor. 

And  none  shall  find  his  promise  vain. 

3  The  Lord  pours  eye-sight  on  the  blind, 
The  Lord  supports  the  fainting  mind; 

He  sends  the  labormg  conscience  peace, 
He  helps  the  stranger  in  distress, 
I'he  widow  and  the  fatherless, 

And  grants  the  prisoner  sweet  release. 


rv} 


MRS.    .^lARY    BRADLF.Y, 


187 


0  raj  bles3C(l  Lord,  I  tli  ink  th-o  for  tho  many  favors 
conferred  on  tlie  least  and  iuM-;t  unwortliv  of  thv  crea- 
tures. I  am  entirely  incipalih'  of  perfui  niin,^'  anv  thinj; 
aright  before  thee  of  niys'df;  F  am  de|.eiideiit  up<^n  divine 
assistance  for  progress  in  niv  heavenly  jonrnoy.  Pardon, 
I  beseech  thee,  the  many  defects  au  1  sh  -rtHMmings  in  my 
duty  to  thee  and  my  fellow-travellers  to  eternity.  0,  help 
me  so  to  live  hi  time,  rememliering  that  I  must  give 
account  of  my  stewardship.  ()  my  Father,  I  humbly  pray 
thee,  prepare  me  for  every  event  of  fde,  ond  furnish  me 
"With  grace,  that  I  may  steadfastly  persevere  in  every 
duty,  and  not  only  ^valk,  but  run  with  patience  the  race 
set  before  me,  looking  to  Jesus,  that  at  length  I  may 
safely  arrive  at  the  heavenly  kingdom,  and  find  admit- 
tance through  the  gate  into  the  city,  and  have  assigned 
me  some  happy  place  : 

"  Where  I  may  tcliMll  thy  lovely  face, 
With  stroiiir.  iuimortal  eyes; 
And  feast  ui-uii  tliy  heavenly  prace, 
Witli  iileusure  aiKUurprise." 

These  blessings  I  implore  for  myself  and  all  believers,  for 
the  sake  of  my  Lord  and  Savior,  Jesus  Christ.     Amen. 


CHAPTER    XX. 


I  CONTINUED  exceedingly  liappy,  until  I  received  a  let- 
ter from  my  brother  in-law,  informing  me  of  the  death  of 
their  daughter,  and  enclosing  a  lock  of  her  hair.  It  was 
so  sudden  a  shock,  that  I  was  quite  overcome  with  sor- 
row, sympathizing  with  my  dear  brother  and  sister  for  the 
loss  of  their  only  child. 

After  continuing  for  many  years  in  a  delicate  state  of 
health,  my  dear  sister  was  blessed  with  a  lovely  daugh- 
ter, the  joy  and  hope  of  their  earthly  home ;  but  alas ! 
at  eight  years  old  the  blooming  hope  was  blasted  ;  en- 
forcing the  following  poeti'3al  remark  : 

"  The  dear  delights  we  here  enjoy, 
And  fondly  call  our  own, 
Are  but  short  favors  borrowed  now, 
To  be  repaid  again." 

Dear  Brother  and  Sister  :  — 

I  take  this  opportunity  to  write  you  a  short  lamenta- 
tion on  the  death  of  our  <lea»'  Rebekah,  who  died  on  Mon- 
day, the  fourteenth  inst. 

But  0,  my  dear  babe,  must  I  never  more  see  thy  lovely 
smiling  face,  nor  hear  thy  pleasant  voice  ?  Must  I  no 
more  be  delighted  with  th}^  graceful  conduct  ?  nor  feel 
my  heart  gW  with  gratitude  to  the  Lord,  for  having 

188 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


189 


given  thee  to  us  ?  Must  I  bid  farewell  to  all  the  prospects 
of  one  to  comfort  us  in  our  declining  years,  or  to  assist  us 
in  our  feeble  state  of  mortalitv  ? 

Very  pleasant  hast  thou  been  unto  us,  my  dear ;  thy 
love  to  us  was  wonderful  I  TJjou  wast  cheerful  and  agree- 
able in  thy  life,  patient  in  thy  sickness,  and  j)leasant  in 
thy  death ;  and  how  shall  I  restrain  my  flowing  tears  for 
the  loss  of  my  only  child  ? 

*'  My  sorrows  like  a  flood, 
Imptitii'iit  iif  rostniint, 
liitn  tliy  lici^iiin.  ()  my  fiorl, 
I  pour  out  uiy  cuuiphiiut." 


alas  1 
;    en- 


But  why  do  I  indulge  those  affectionate  tears,  or  sor- 
row for  the  dead,  as  others  who  have  no  hope  of  future 
happiness  ? 

Why  do  I  not  give  place  to  the  comforting  hope  of  the 
gospel,  which  I  hear  from  the  Savior  ?  "  The  maid  is  not 
dead,  but  slcepeth."— JVc/^.  9  :  24. 

"  For  if  we  believe  that  Jesus  died  and  rose  again,  even 
so  them  also  which  sleep  in  Jesus,  will  God  bring  with 
him,  at  the  great  resuirection  morn:  when  the  trumpet 
shall  sound,  and  the  dead  shall  be  raised." — 1  Thess.  4  :  14. 


"  Tlioy  sleep  in  Jesus  ami  are  blest, 
How  kind  their  sliunbcrs  are, 
From  sulVeriiigs  and  from  woes  releas'd, 
And  iVeed  I'ruui  cvcrv  snare." 


lovely 
I  no 
■or  feel 
Ihaving 


From  every  snare  of  this  lower  world,  and  from  every 
temptation  that  might  allure  thy  youthful  and  innocent 
heart  to  forsake  the  ways  of  religion  and  sobriety,  to  regard 
lying  vanities  and  forsake   thy  own  mercies.     Thou  art 

17 


190 


LIFK    AND    EXPKUIKXCl]    OF 


freed  from  every  care  for  cither  food   or  raiment  for  tliy 
body. 

Thou  art  fed  from  the  tree  of  hfc   -which   grows  in  the 
midst  of  the  paradise  of  God. 

Thou  art  clothed  in  Avhite  raiment,  and  hast  a  cro^Yn   of 
righteousness  on  thy  head . 

Thou  art  taught  to  play  on  the  golden  harp  above,  and 
to  sin<i;  the  sonji;  of  Moses  and  the  son";  of  the  Lamb. 

I  have  been  careful  for  thy  education,  and  to  teach  thee 
to  read  the  Holy  Scriptures,  in  order  to  know  the  way  of 
life  and  salvation  ;  but  thou  art  now  reading  thv  Maker 
face  to  face,  and  seeing  him  as  he  is,  and  beholding  his 
glory  !  0,  might  these  considerations  j)rove  a  constant 
cordial  to  my  dejected  si)irit,  and  support  me  under  this 
heavy  conflict  with  my  natural  tenderness  for  my  dear  babe. 
Farewell,  my  daughter,  Jesus  calls  thee  home  ;  my  bleed- 
ing heart  resigns:  Thy  will  be  done. 

Our  dear  mother  is  now  with  us,  but  is  not  very  well,  and 
sends  her  kind  love  to  you  and  yours.  I  hope  to  hear 
from  you  by  the  bearer  of  this  ;  I  want  to  see  you  ;  but 
an  interest  in  your  eifcctual  fervent  prayers  may  avail 
much  to  our  present  comfort  and  support,  as  well  as  to  our 
future  and  eternal  happiness. 

"  0  liappy,  happy  place, 

^Vhere  siuiiit  and  angel  meet, 
There  -sve  shall  see  each  others'  face, 

And  all  our  brethren  greet. 
The  church  of  the  first  born, 

We  shall  with  thorn  be  blcss'J, 
And  crowned  with  endless  joy,  return 

To  our  eternal  rest." 

With  true  aifection. 

Your  brother  and  sister, 

Gershom  and  Levine  Bonnell. 
Burton,  Jan.  20th,  1805. 


MRS.    MARY    imADLEY. 


191 


for  thy 
in  the 
•o^Yn   of 
)ve,  and 

iich  thee 
^vav  of 
/  Maker 
ding  his 
constant 
tier  this 
lar  babe. 
\y  bleed- 
ell,  and 
to  hear 
ou  ;  but 
ay  avail 
s  to  our 


:ell. 


N.  B. — Your  sister  is  very  unwell.  Sho  bears  her 
a'Hiction  with  much  patience  ;  yet  her  wound  is  deep.  I 
fear  it  will  be  the  means  of  shortening  her  days. 

After  reading  the  above,  my  natural  affections  were  so 
powerfully  moved  upon,  that  my  appetite  and  sleep  de- 
parted from  me,  and  my  spirits  greatly  sunk.  I  tried  to 
rise  above  it,  but  was  not  al)le  to  do  so  for  a  kuvth  of 
time. 

My  dear  afflicted  brother  and  sister  were  continually 
upon  my  mind,  and  I  wept  in  bitterness  of  spirit  for  them  ; 
at  length  1  became  more  reconciled,  and  my  s{)irit  more 
settled  ;  but  I  found  I  had  lost  in  some  decree  the  great 
joy  with  which  I  had  been  so  highly  favored,  and  feared  I 
had  by  my  excessive  grief  offended  my  Maker,  which 
caused  me  considerable  uneasiness  of  mind.  I  constantly 
felt  the  supporting  grace  of  God,  and  his  promises  fre- 
quently applied  to  my  mind  ;  but  neither  were  my  affec- 
tions so  raised,  nor  my  joy  so  rapturous  as  before. 

I  continued  to  watch  and  pray,  and  resolved  in  my 
heart  to  follow  the  Lord  fully  to  the  end  of  life  in  his  own 
way,  as  laid  down  in  his  blessed  Word,  satisfied  that 
my  duty  was  the  same,  Avhatever  might  be  the  state  of  my 
feelings. 

I  was  determined  by  divine  assistance,  to  hang  upon 
him  by  faith,  and  would  not  let  him  go,  confident  that  he 
would  not  forsake  me. 

The  first  day  of  January  I  rose  early  in  the  morning, 
and  took  the  Bible,  hoping  to  receive  a  pledge  of  God's 
love  to  me.  The  first  passage  on  which  I  cast  my  eye 
was  the  ninety-first  Psalm.  I  read  it  with  great  delight ; 
every  word  afforded  me  great  encouragement. 


192 


MRS.    MAKY    nilADLEY. 


He  that  dwollntli  in  the  secret  place  of  the  Most  High  shall  abide 
under  the  shadow  of  the  Ahnijility. 

I  will  say  of  the  Lord,  lie  is  my  refuge  and  my  fortress:  my  God  ; 
in  him  will  I  trust. 

Surely  he  shall  deliver  thee  from  the  snare  of  the  fowler,  and  from 
the  noisome  pestilence. 

He  shall  cover  thee  with  his  t'eathers,  and  under  his  winjis  shalt 
thou  trust:  his  truth  shall  be  thy  siiit-ld  and  buckler. 

Thou  shalt  not  be  afraid  for  the  terror  by  lught ;  nor  for  the  arrow 
that  flieth  by  day  ; 

Nor  for  the  pestilence  that  walketh  in  darkness;  nor  for  the  de- 
struction ihat  wastcth  at  noon-diiy. 

A  Uiousand  shall  (all  at  thy  side,  and  ten  thousand  at  thy  right 
hand  ;  but  it  shall  not  come  nigh  thee. 

Only  with  thine  eyes  shalt  thou  behold  and  see  the  reward  of  the 
wicked. 

Because  thou  hast  made  the  Lord  which  is  my  refuge,  even  the 
Most  High,  thy  habitation  ; 

There  shall  no  evil  befall  thee,  neither  shall  any  plague  come 
nigh  thy  dwelling. 

For  he  shall  give  his  angels  charge  over  thee,  to  keep  thee  in  all 
thy  ways. 

They  shall  bear  thee  up  in  their  hands,  lest  thou  dash  thy  foot 
against  a  stone. 

Thou  shalt  tread  upon  the  lion  and  adder  :  the  young  lion  and  the 
dragon  shalt  thou  trample  under  feet. 

Because  he  hath  set  his  love  upon  me,  therefore  will  I  deliver 
him  :  I  will  set  him  on  high,  because  he  hath  known  my  name. 

He  shall  call  upon  me,  and  1  will  answer  him:  I  will  be  with  him 
in  trouble;  I  will  deliver  him,  and  honor  him. 

With  long  life  will  I  satisfy  hhi),  and  show  him  my  salvation. 


"When  faith  was  in  exercise,  tlie  proiiiises  seemed  to  be 
all  my  own.  I  enj  ^yed  many  comforting  seasons,  and 
strove  to  keep  my  head  above  the  water-floods,  which 
in  various  ways  assailed  my  faith  ;  but  I  was  enabled 
to  hold  on  my  way,  strong  in  the  strength  which  God 
supplies,  through  his  eternal  Son. 


CHAPTER    XXI. 


The  first  of  May,  180(5,  we  removed  into  the  city  of 
St.  John,  ^vllich  was  what  1  had  greatly  desired  and  ear- 
nestly prayed  for,  that  I  might  be  blessed  with  ::  home 
near  the  house  of  God  —  that  I  might  have  an  oppor- 
tunity of  constantly  attending  and  enjoying  the  means  of 
grace,  whicli  I  esteemed  one  of  the  greatest  privileges  on 
earth.  The  language  of  David  would  often  come  into 
mv  mind:  "  One  thing  have  I  desired  of  the  Lord,  and 
that  will  I  seek  after,  that  I  may  dwell  in  the  house  of  the 
Lord  all  the  days  of  my  life,  to  behold  the  beauty  of  the 
Lord,  and  to  inquire  in  his  temple." 

When  the  time  came  for  our  removal,  I  thought  of 
many  difficulties  that  might  devolve  upon  us,  in  conse- 
quence of  the  business  in  which  we  were  to  be  ->gaged, 
and  with  which  I  was  entirely  unacquainted. 

I  was  afraid  it  might  prove  a  snare  to  us  in  many  ways. 
I  was  jealous  of  my  own  heart,  lest  I  should  crave  the 
profits  arising  from  the  sale  of  liquor,  which  might  be 
used  in  a  sinful  way  by  those  who  purchased  it.  Besides, 
I  was  always  fond  of  retirement. 

Having  weighed  these  things  over  in  my  mind,  I  felt 
my  spirit  embarrassed  and  cast  down.  One  day  I  asked 
my  husband  if  he  was  not  afraid  that  selling  liquor  would 
17*  193 


194 


LIFE   AND    KXTKiatlNCK    OF 


prove  a  snaro  to  \\s.  I  said,  nan}'  ulio  IoHoutmI  that  Itiisi- 
ness,  fell  victims  to  it  tlieniselvfs.  lie  repliod.  he  could 
not  live  in  to\\n  hut  by  kcejtiii^  sliop,  and  that  his  health 
would  not  admit  ot  his  rcniaiuin;:;  loutxer  on  a  farm. 

I  endeavored  to  look  up  to  the  T^ord,  who  was  mv  only 
refuse,  and  the  promise,  "  The  Lord  shall  li;-dit  for  you," 
was  applied  to  my  mind  with  great  comfort.  1  was  en- 
abled  to  cast  my  care  upon  him,  h()]iin«^  through  whatever 
afflictions  I  should  be  called  to  jass,  he  would  give  me 
strength  according  to  my  day.  I  felt  encouraged  to  hope 
in  God,  that  he  would,  by  his  kind  Trovidence,  open  a 
way  for  our  temporal  j)rosperity,  and  also  give  me  grace 
and  wisdom,  that  I  might  maintain  a  sitigle  eye  to  his 
glory  in  all  my  thoughts,  words,  and  actions,  and  that  my 
heart  might  be  wholly  devoted  to  him. 

I  found  in  our  new  situation,  a  great  accession  of  Chris- 
tian privileges,  and  some  new  trials  ;  })articuh\rly,  a  con- 
stant interruption  of  that  sweet  retirement  Avhich  I  so 
much  enjoyed  in  the  country,  and  the  cares  of  worldly 
business  under  some  discouragements,  often  weighed 
down  my  spirits,  and  I  Avas  freijuently  inclined  to  a  dis- 
contented state  of  mind  ;  but  when  the  scale  of  pros])erity 
preponderated  over  that  of  adversity,  I  felt  relieved  from 
the  fear  of  worldly  failure,  though  for  a  time  our  pros- 
pects of  accumulation  were  precarious. 

My  hope  was  in  the  Lord,  who  made  heaven  and  earth, 
whose  are  the  cattle  upon  a  thousand  hills,  and  all  our 
circumstances  and  affairs  are  under  his  control.  I  felt 
sensibly  it  was  my  duty  to  be  industrious,  prudent,  and 
careful  in  all  my  domestic  concerns,  put  my  trust  in  the 
Lord,  submit  to  his  holy  will,  and  be  content  in  whatever 
situation  he  saw  fit  to  place  me. 


AIRS.    iMAUY    liUADLEY. 


105 


vou 


»> 


grace 


I  so 
rorldly 
;,hcJ 
a  dis- 
?})enty 
from 
pros- 
earth, 
ill  our 
I  felt 
and 
in  the 
atcver 


I  was  afraid  of  the  world,  and  determined  by  ^racc, 
whatever  burthen  it  was  to  my  mind  and  labor  to  my 
hands,  it  .should  not  have  possession  of  my  heart ;  there- 
fore 1  kept  a  constant  watch  over  my  dis{,osition,  praying 
that  I  might  be  enabled  to  give  my  heart  unreservedly  to 
God  ;  and  when  I  attended  religious  meetings,  to  say  to 
all  my  worldly  cares,  as  Abraham  said  to  his  yoinig  men, 
when  he  was  going  to  the  mountain  to  olVer  up  his  son  : 
"  Stay  you  here,  while  I  go  yojider  and  worsiiip  ;  "  and  I 
was  seldom  troubled  with  them  \;ntil  I  returned  home. 

I  never  burthened  my  leader  with  a  detail  of  my  diffi- 
culties, because  I  enjoyed  many  mercies  and  comforts, 
both  temporal  and  sj)iritual. 

I  always  endeavored  to  cultivate  a  grateful  sense  of 
the  goodness  of  God  toward  me,  and  speak  of  my  feelings 
under  that  influence,  and  tell  of  my  hope  in  God,  and  not 
look  on  the  dark  side  of  every  thing,  complaining  to  my 
fellow  creatures,  who  could  not  relieve  me  ;  but  to  lay  all 
my  trials  and  afflictions  before  the  Lord,  and  wait  hi 
time  to  remove  them. 

I  kept  no  regular  journal,  and  it  was  not  in  my  power 
to  call  to  mind  but  a  small  part  of  my  exercises,  for  sev- 
eral years,  only  some  particular  circumstances,  in  order 
to  keep  an  eye  upon  them,  hoping  at  some  future  period 
to  be  able  to  write  more  particularly. 

November  25th,  1810.  I  visited  a  sick  woman,  for 
whom  I  was  much  concerned,  fearing  she  was  not  pre- 
pared for  death.  On  asking  if  she  found  any  change  in 
her  mind,  she  replied  she  had  not;  and  that  her  heart 
was  very  hard,  destitute  of  every  good  thing,  and  un- 
alarmed  at  the  thoughts  of  death.  Having  listened  to 
her  statement,  and  fearing  she  would  die  in  her  sins,  I 


190 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


laborcil  with  licr,  pr.iycd  for  licr,  was  melted  into  tcndcr- 
no3.s  before  (iod,  and  nmch  cncouraL^ed  on  Iier  account. 
A  pious  woman  came  in,  who  liful  sometime  previously 
lost  her  husband,  with  whom  I  sympatiiized  iu  her  afHic- 
tion,  wlio  said  it  was  a  <z;rcat  loss  indeed,  and  oliserved, 
no  doubt  it  was  all  for  the  best,  for  many  professors  of 
religion  became  apostates,  and  if  he  had  lived,  it  might 
have  been  his  case.  Ihcsc  words  went  to  my  heart  like  a 
dart,  and  produced  the  same  feeling  as,  some  time  ago, 
when  opening  upon  that  hymn : 

'*  0  Lord,  with  trcmldiiiR  I  confess, 
A  Knicinns  soul  iniiy  fall  fmin  prarc ; 
Tlio  salt  may  ioso  its  seasoning;  power. 
And  iiover,  never  find  it  more." 

I  thought,  what  can  be  the  cause  of  tliose  unhappy  sensa- 
tions, when  reading  or  conversing  about  those  who  have 
fallen  into  despair  ;  surely,  this  is  a  bad  symptom  on  my 
side.  Still  I  did  not  believe  it  was  my  case,  though  it 
produced  a  disagreeable  feeling,  for  which  I  was  at  a  loss 
to  account. 

In  the  evening,  I  went  to  hear  the  Rev.  \Vm.  Black 
preach.  The  text  Avas  Luke  10  :  25.  —  "But  Abraham 
said,  Son,  remember  that  thou  in  thy  lifetime  rcceivedst 
thy  good  things,  and  likewise  Lazarus  evil  things ;  but 
now  he  is  comforted,  and  thou  art  tormented."  While 
Mr.  B.  was  preaching,  the  thought  struck  me,  you  are 
not  so  happy  as  you  used  to  be,  when  sitting  under  such 
an  interesting  sermon.  I  could  not  deny  it.  I  began  to 
reason  out  the  cause,  and  gave  way  to  reasoning,  until  a 
dark  cloud  gathered  over  my  mind.  As  Mr.  B.  proceeded 
to  describe  the  awful  state  of  Dives,  I  was  tempted  to  thmk 
my  state  was  like  his ;  it  came  into  my  mind  to  leave  the 


MUS.     MAIIV    HU\I>I,FY. 


107 


cndcr- 
count. 
,'iously 
iifHic- 
ervcd, 
lors  of 

;  like  a 


0   ago, 


sensa- 
0  have 


on  my 

ugh  it 
b  a  loss 


Black 
3  rah  am 
eivcdst 
^s ;  but 

While 
ou  are 
!r  such 
egan  to 
until  a 
(ceedecl 

0  thmk 
ave  the 


chapel  ;  l)ut  my  hotter  juilgmcut  opposed  it,  and  T  felt 
alarmed  to  think  that  f  corM  n-  f  hear  to  hear  the  Wor<l 
of  (lod.  I  said  to  mvself,  what  (!«.es  tlii.s  mean?  Shall 
I,  who  have  ))eon  a  Christian  so  maav  years,  and  eiiioved 
such  a  comfortahle  hope  of  future  happiness,  he  hnally 
cast  down  to  hell  ?  As  t  do  not  feel  guilt  for  sin,  nor 
condemnation  in  my  cu?isciencc,  this  nmst  he  a  tempta- 
tion of  iSatan. 

I  will  now  fall  down  upon  my  knees  before  the  Lord,  in 
'ho  pew,  in  tL;  midst  of  this  as8eml»ly,  and  will  lift  up  my 
heart  to  (Jod,  lo  remove  the  temjitation.  I  did  so,  and  it 
pleased  the  Lord  to  bless  me  with  innncMliate  relief.  I 
arose  at  the  close  of  the  sermon,  in  such  a  cahn  state  of 
mind,  as  to  unite  with  and  greatly  enjoy  the  singing. 

When  I  returned  home,  I  retired  to  give  (iod  thanks, 
and  iin})lorc  his  continue"!  protection,  that  I  might  not  bo 
again  troubled  with  des})airing  feelings.  I  endeavored  to 
cast  myself  at  his  feet,  ])leading  my  own  unworthy,  help- 
less, sinful  state,  and  his  precious  blood,  the  only  fountain 
sufficient  to  wash  away  my  sins.  From  an  early  period  of 
life  I  had  been  enabled  to  fly  to  Jesus  Christ  for  refuge, 
and  found  him  to  be  my  Savior  and  friend,  through  every 
changing  scene  ;  and  was  determined,  if  I  perished  at  last, 
to  perish  at  his  feet,  calling  upon  his  name. 

I  found  the  severe  ordeal  of  temptation  through  which 
I  had  passed,  discovered  to  me  more  clearly  the  craftiness 
of  Satan,  and  the  work  of  grace  in  my  soul  ;  a  humbling 
sense  of  my  own  unworthincss  drove  me  afresh  to  the 
throne  of  grace,  and  a  reunion  by  faith  to  the  Lord  Jesus 
Christ,  in  whom  I  was  enabled  to  rejoice,  as  my  reconciled 
God  and  Father. 

"Bless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  forget  not  all  his  beu- 


198 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIEXCE   OF 


efits,  ^vho  crowneth  thee  Avith  loving  kindness  and  tender 


me  rev 


5J 


"WliJit  thanks  I  owe  tlieo,  and  wliat  luvo, 
A  lioMii'Uoss,  endless  store, 
Shall  echo  through  the  world  above, 
When  time  >lia.'.ll)e  no  more." 

I  have  been  taught  a  fact  -wliich  I  hope  will  be  of  ser- 
vice to  me  all  the  rest  of  my  })i1grimage  ;  that  is,  altlioiigh 
I  were  ever  so  happy  in  religion,  and  enjoyed  everso  much 
of  the  love  of  God,  yet  I  had  need  of  as  constant  watchful- 
ness against  temptation  as  at  an}^  time. 

It  is  a  truth  which  ought  always  to  be  remembered,  that 
Satan  is  an  enemy  to  God  and  our  own  souls,  a  powerful  ene- 
my, the  prince  of  the  power  of  the  air,  who  rules  in  the  hearts 
of  the  disobedient  —  all  who  continue  to  pursue  the  delights 
and  sinful  pleasures  of  this  vain  world,  continue  contented 
in  their  sins,  until  their  eyes  are  closed  in  death  ;  conse- 
quently he  will  rule  over  them  and  in  them  to  all  eternity  ; 
being  always  in  misery  himself,  he  can  only  communicate 
what  he  has  and  is  to  others  :  therefore  the  wages  of  sin 
is  death. 

The  people  of  God  are  liable  to  suffer  from  his  evil  sug- 
gestions, being  ignorant  of  his  devices. 

Satan's  first  design  is  to  tempt  to  the  neglect  of  duty, 
and  just  in  proportion  to  the  sin  of  omission,  the  mind  be- 
comes dark,  gloomy,  cast  down,  and  unhappy. 

Opposites  destroy  their  opposites,  and  it  is  under  a  sense 
of  loss,  sustained  by  opposition,  the  following  exclamations 
have  emanated : 

"  I  shall  one  da.y  fall  by  the  hand  of  Saul.  0  that  it 
were  with  mo  as  in  days  past,  when  the  candle  of  the  Lord 
shone  bright  upon  me,  and  I  walked  through  dark  places  ; 


tender 


of  scr- 
Ithough 
50  much 
atchfiil- 

ed,  that 
rful  cne- 
c  hearts 
delights 
mtcnted 
;  consc- 
ternitv  ; 
lunicate 
of  sin 


;vil  sug- 


)f  duty, 
nind  be- 

a  sense 
Linations 

)  that  it 
he  Lord 
places  ; 


MRS.    MAUY    UIIADLKY. 


199 


when  the  love  of  God  was  shed  abroad  in  mv  lieart,  and  I 
enjoyed  sweet  communion  witli  him,  and  a  bright  evidence 
of  my  acceptance.  0,  there  is  nothing  I  desire  so  much 
as  the  favor  of  God." 

I  have  no  intention  to  turn  back  to  the  workl,  it  has 
notliing  to  give  which  can  make  me  happy.  I  would  not 
wittingly  sin  against  God,  it  grieves  me  to  the  heart  to 
think  I  ever  offended  him.  0  that  my  heart  were  cleansed 
from  all  sin.  I  know  without  hohness  I  can  never  see  his 
face  in  glory.  Sweet  peace  is  one  of  the  greatest  temporal 
enjoyments,  national,  domestic,  personal,  and  above  all, 
the  peace  of  God,  -which  surpasseth  all  understandin< 


'g 


"  Which  tlie  world  cannot  give  or  destroy, 
The  hciirt-felt  sunshine  iind  the  soul's  full  joy." 

I  am  convinced  that  by  refusing  to  receive  comfort  from 
the  simple  plain  truths  of  God's  word,  is  to  resist  the  spirit 
of  God,  and  by  resisting  we  grieve  him,  and  by  our  unbe- 
lief cause  him  to  depart  from  us  ;  but  glory  be  to  God  for 
his  forbearance  and  patience  toward  me,  he  convinced  me 
of  my  error,  restored  me  to  his  favor,  and  renewed  my 
strength  like  the  eagle's.  I  thought  I  was  one  of  the  hap- 
piest creatures  on  earth,  and  all  I  enjoyed  was  through  the 
merits  and  atonement  of  my  blessed  Savior. 

I  began  to  think  the  Lord  was  preparing  me  for  afflic- 
tions and  trials,  such  as  I  had  never  before  experienced. 
"  Now  no  chastisement  for  the  present  seemeth  to  be  joyous, 
but  grievous,  nevertheless,  afterward  it  yieldeth  the  peace- 
able fruits  of  righteousness  to  those  -who  are  exercised 
thereby." 

I  thought  I  could  say  with  David,  "  Surely  I  have 
(|uieted  myself  as  a  child  that  is  weaned  of  his  mother ;  my 


200 


LIFE    AND    KXPERIENCE    OP 


soul  is  oven  as  a  weaned  cliild."  I  felt  afflictions  had  a 
tendency  to  wean  mo  from  tlic  world,  and  from  those  wtio 
were  my  earthly  ties ;  but  my  prayers  were  continually 
for  them  ;  I  thought  I  would  rather  lay  down  my  own  life 
than  that  they  should  die  in  their  sins. 

Although  my  trials  were  great,  they  were  profitable  ;  it 
was  good  for  me  to  be  afflicted.  I  was  determined  if  pos- 
sible that  patience  should  have  its  perfect  work ;  it  was 
liumbling  to  my  proud  nature,  my  flesh  would  complain  ; 
but  my  soul  would  rejoice  and  acknowledge  the  hand  of 
God,  if  it  be  his  will,  and  promotive  of  his  glory,  and  the 
good  of  my  soul,  I  ought  to  rejoice  even  in  tribulation. 

"  God's  furnace  floth  in  Zion  stand, 
Bnt  Zioii's  God  sits  by  ; 
As  11  rc'lincr  views  Iiis  g'old, 
Witii  an  oijservunt  eye." 

The  refiner  sits  looking  upon  the  crucible  until  he  sees 
his  own  image  reflected  upon  the  liquid  metal;  the  process 
is  then  complete. 

0,  what  love  do  I  see  manifested  towards  me  by  a  gra- 
cious God  ;  may  my  soul  submit  with  Christian  fortitude  ; 
kiss  the  rod  and  him  wiio  hath  appointed  it ;  as  a  faitliful 
soldier  of  Jesus  Christ  may  I  be  faithful  unto  death,  that 
J  may  receive  a  crown  of  life. 

The  following  lines  were  often  a  great  comfort  to  me  : 


O  Zion,  afflicted  with  wave  upon  wave, 
Whom  no  man  can  comfort,  whom  no  man  can  save  ; 
With  darkness  surrounded,  by  terrors  dismayed, 
In  toiling  and  rowing  thy  strength  is  decayed. 


MRS.  :maiiy  eradley. 


201 


Loud  roariii;    .  le  billows  now  niijii  overwhelm  ; 
But  skilful  tiio  pilot,  wlio  sits  at  the  helm  ; 
His  wisdom  conducts  thee,  His  |)ow(,«r  thee  defends, 
In  safety  and  quiet,  thy  warfare  He  ends. 

0  fearful !  O  faithless  !  in  niercy  lie  cries. 

My  prpinise,  my  truth  are  the  lij^ht  in  thine  eyes  ; 
Still,  still  I  am  with  thee  ;  my  promise  shall  stand, 
Through  teuipest  and  tossinir  I'll  bring  thee  to  land. 

Forget  thee  I  will  not,  I  cannot;  thy  name 
Engraved  on  my  heart  dotfi  forever  remain; 
The  palms  of  my  hands  whilst  I  look  on  I  see 
The  wounds  I  received,  when  suffering  for  thee. 

1  feel  at  my  heart  all  thy  sighs,  and  thy  groans  ; 
For  thou  art  most  near  me,  my  flesh  and  my  bones  ; 
In  all  thy  distresses,  thy  head  feels  the  pain. 

Yet  all  are  most  needful,  not  one  is  in  vain. 

Then  trust  me,  and  ft?ar  not,  thy  life  is  seci^re  ; 
My  wisdom  is  perfect  ;  supreme  is  my  power  ; 
In  love  I  correct  thee,  thy  soul  to  refine. 
To  make  thee  at  length  in  my  likeness  to  shine. 

The  foolish,  the  fearful,  the  weak  are  my  care. 
The  helples;!,  the  hopeless,  I  hear  their  sad  prayer  ; 
From  all  their  afflictions,  my  glory  shall  spring. 
And  the  deeper  their  sorrows,  the  louder  they  '11  sing. 


Blessed  be  the  Lord,  for  his  unbounded  love  ;  0  what 
helps  did  he  afford  me  in  the  time  of  my  affliction  ;  both 
from  his  word,  and  from  Psalms,  and  Il^-mns,  which  were 
so  applicable  to  my  case. 

I  will   lift  up  mine   eyes  unto  the  hills,  from  whence 
Cometh  my  help  ;  my  help  cometh  from  the  Lord,  which 
made  heaven  and  earth. 
18 


202 


LIFE    ANIJ    EXPEIUKNCE   OF 


He  will  not  suffer  thy  foot  to  bo  moved  ;  he  that  kcep- 
cth  thee  will  not  slumber. 

Behold  he  that  keepcth  Israel  shall  neither  slumber  nor 
sleep. 

The  Lord  is  thy  keeper,  the  Lord  is  thy  shade  on  thy 
right  hand. 

The  sun  shall  not  smite  thee  by  day,  nor  ttie  moon  by 
night. 

The  Lord  shall  preserve  thee  from  all  evil  ;  he  shall 
preserve  thy  soul. 

The  Lord  shall  preserve  thy  going  out  and  thy  coming 
in  from  this  time  forth,  and  even  for  evermore. 

This  promise  also,  was  a  great  support  to  my  mind  : 

They  that  trust  in  the  Lord  shall  be  as  Mount  Zion, 
which  cannot  be  removed,  but  abidcth  forever. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


The  first  of  May,  1816,  my  husband  gave  up  business, 
rented  the  lower  part  of  the  house,  and  removed  into  the 
upper  part  ;  his  health  being  very  poor,  and  himself  ad- 
vanced in  vears. 

I  was  greatly  reheved  for  a  httle  while,  being  fond  of 
retirement.  In  the  course  of  the  summer,  I  made  a  visit 
to  the  country  to  see  my  friends,  who  received  me  with 
marked  kindness  and  love. 

Not  having  enjoyed  the  like  privilege  for  many  years, 
it  invigorated  my  constitution,  and  greatly  refreshed  my 
spirits.  In  about  four  weeks  I  returned  home  again,  and 
was  kindly  received  by  my  husband  and  friends  in  the 
city.     While  in  the  counti'y  I  could  say  : 

The  calm  retreat,  tlie  silent  shade, 

With  prayer,  and  prais^e  agree. 
And  scein  by  thy  sweet  bounty  made, 

For  those  wlio  follow  thee. 


But  having  so  greatly  enjoyed  the  rural  scenery,  my 
dear  friends,  kind  hospitality,  and  company,  I  had  to  com- 
plain : 

Our  nearest  joys,  and  dearest  friends, 

Tiie  partners  of  our  blood  : 
How  they  divide  oiu-  wtivering  minds, 

And  leave  but  half  for  God. 

203 


204 


LIFE    AXI)    KXPEIITENCE   OF 


Towards  the  close  of  the  year,  mv  troubles  again 
revived,  and  like  a  mariner  in  time  of  danger,  1  Avas  jiut 
to  my  -Nvits'  end  :  however,  1  had  cause  to  be  thankful,  the 
storm  sometimes  subsided,  and  a  sweet  calm  ensued. 

r)n  the  Sabbath  evening  previous  to  the  Kew  Year 
of  1817,  our  minister,  the  ]lev.  Wm.  Croscomb,  notified, 
the  people,  that  a  Watch-night  would  be  held,  to  com 
menee  at  nine  o'clock,  and  to  continue  until  after  twelve. 
Though  it  Avas  with  me  a  time  of  peculiar  affliction  and 
sorroAv,  I  anticipated  much  enjoyment  from  that  solemn 
means  of  grace. 

I  was  by  domestic  circumstances  prevented  from  attend- 
ing until  ten  o'clock,  and  then  I  went  to  the  chapel  with 
a  heavily  burthcncd  mind  ;  but  during  the  varied,  and  in- 
teresting exercises,  my  heart  was  raised  to  God  in  prayej, 
and  considerably  encouraged  and  relieved.  Near  the 
close,  Mr.  C.  said,  we  have  now  ten  minutes  before  the 
commencement  of  the  I^Iew  Year,  which  Ave  Avill  spend  in 
silent  prayer  before  the  Lord  ;  they  Avere  SAveet  moments 
to  me,  the  clouds  Avere  dispersed,  and  my  soul  Avas  made 
truly  happy  in  God. 

I  returned  to  my  liouse  Avith  great  joy,  having  realized 
that  it  Avas  not  a  vain  thing  to  wait  upon  the  Lord  :  Glory 
to  his  great  and  lioly  name  for  ever  and  ever. 

Many  Avere  the  afflictions  I  Avas  called  to  pass  through  : 
but  I  Avas  greatly  suytported  under  them. 

On  the  ninth  of  February,  my  husband  Avas  taken  quite 
unAvell,  and  although  every  exertion  Avas  made  for  his 
recovery,  he  still  continued  to  groAv  Averse,  and  lingered 
until  the  first  day  of  March,  1817,  Avhen  he  departed  this 
life.  About  a  Aveek  before  his  death,  I  Avas  enabled  to 
sign  him  up  to  the  Lord  :  But  alas  !  hoAv  Avas  I  overcome 
Avhen  I  beheld  my  companion  a  lifelesp  lump  of  clay  ? 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


205 


again 
as  put 
ul,  the 
I. 

Year 
lotified. 
:o  com 
welve. 
ion  and 
solemn 

attend- 
ed ^^itll 
and  in- 
prayej, 
3ar   the 
ore  the 
pend  in 
oments 
s  made 

reahzcd 
Glory 


krough  : 


n  quite 
Ifor  his 
ln2;ered 
Ited  this 
Iblcd  to 
lercome 
? 


When  I  took  my  last  farewell  until  the  morning  of  the 
resurrection,  my  knees  bent  under  me,  and  I  had  scarcely 
strength  sufficient  to  support  mo.  Death  and  eternity 
are  serious  matters. 

I  derived  much  comfort  from  the  cheerinj;  sentiments 
of  the  Psalmist : 

Psalm  12;J.  —  Unto  t!ieo  I  lift  up  mine  oyes,  Otliou  that  dwellest 
in  tlie  lieavens. 

Behold,  as  the  eyes  of  servants  look  unto  the  hand  of  their  mas- 
ters, and  as  the  eyes  of  a  maiden  unto  the  hand  of  her  mistress  ;  so 
our  eyes  wait  upon  the  Lord  our  God,  until  that  he  have  mercy 
upon  us. 

Have  mercy  upon  us,  O  Lord,  have  mercy^upon  us :  for  we  are 
exceedingly  filled  with  contempt. 

Psalm  I'jy.  —  O  Lord,  thou  hast  searched  me,  and  known  me. 

Thou  knowest  my  down-sitting  and  mine  up-rising,  thou  under- 
standest  my  thought  afar  off. 

Thou  compassest  my  path  and  my  lying  down,  and  art  acquainted 
with  all  n)y  ways. 

For  there  is  not  a  word  in  my  tongue,  hut  lo,  O  Lord,  thou  know- 
est it  altogether. 

Thou  has  beset  me  behind  and  before,  and  laid  thine  hand  upon 
me. 

Such  knowledge  is  too  wonderful  for  ine ;  it  is  high,  I  cannot  at- 
tain unto  it. 

Whither  shall  I  go  from  thy  Spirit  ?  or  whither  shall  I  flee  from 
thy  presence  ? 

If  I  ascend  up  into  heaven,  thou  art  there  :  if  I  make  my  bed  in 
hell,  behold,  thou  art  there. 

Search  me,  O  God,  and  know  my  heart :  try  me,  and  know  my 
thoughts  : 

And  see  if  there  be  any  wicked  way  in  me,  and  lead  me  in  the 
way  everlasting. 

During  the  two  years  and  four  months  of  my  widow- 
hood, the  Lord  was  my  helper,  my  keeper,  and  my  king. 

18* 


206 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


ThcsG  words  were  also  very  rcfrcsliing  to  my  mind  : 
"  What  times  I  am  afraid,  I  will  trust  in  the  Lord."  I 
saw  a  delightt'ul  fulness  and  af»i)roi)riatencss  in  the  prom- 
ises of  God  to  my  situation.  1  could  receive  k^t.  Paul's 
declaration,  "  All  is  yours,  Ye  are  Christ's,  and  Christ  is 
God's" 


ev 


mind  : 
;a."  I 
c  prom- 
.  Paul's 
Ilirist  is 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 


The  tliirticth  day  of  June,  1819,  I  was  marricrl  to  Mr. 
Levent  Pradley. 

The  following  lines  I  wrote  a  few  days  previous  to  that 
event : 

O,  may  our  hearts  be  joined  in  one, 

While  on  this  earth  we  rove, 
And  when  we  lay  our  bodies  down, 

May  they  ascend  above. 

There  in  sweet  strains  of  love  divine, 

We'll  s'lwr  our  Maker's  praise, 
And  in  His  grlorious  image  shine. 

Saved  monun)ents  of  grace. 

We  have  nothing  here  to  call  our  own, 

Our  treasure  is  above  ; 
We  would  not  wish  an  earthly  crown. 

Our  riches  be  his  love. 


We  are  strangers  here,  but  travel  on ; 

Our  journey  soon  will  end  ; 
And  when  our  work  on  earth  is  done. 

To  heaven  may  we  ascend. 


207 


208 


LIFK    AND    EXI'KFirE.VCE   OF 


The  earthly  rrnodd  wc  hero  posaoss, 

\Vo  hold  with  a  loose  luind; 
And  wait  our  heavenly  Father's  call, 

And  go  at  his  coniniund. 

May  wisdom  be  our  constant  {?uide, 

And  {jraco  our  vessels  fill ; 
Till  we  are  seated  by  his  side, 

His  wondrous  l<»vo  to  tell. 

O!  how  transporting- is  the  thouyht, 

That  Jesus  is  our  friend  ; 
To  liirn  who  call'd  the  world  from  nought, 

Be  glory  without  end. 

Jan.  1,  1830. — 0  Lord,  I  boscccli  tlice,  malcc  mc  truly 
tliankt'ul  for  tlic  mercies  ot*  the  day  past,  and  for  all  the 
blessings  with  which  a  life  so  unprofitable  and  unworthy  has 
been  favored. 

0,  give  me  a  humbling  sense  of  ray  sinfulness  and  short- 
coming, and  help  rae  to  lay  aside  every  weight  and  the  sin 
which  most  easily  besets  mc,  that  I  may  fight  the  good  fight 
of  faith,  and  finish  my  course  with  joy. 

How  delightful  is  the  expectation  of  beholding  thy  face 
in  glory.  "  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but  thee,  and  there 
is  none  upon  earth  I  desire  in  comparison  of  thee.  When  my 
heart  and  flesh  shall  fail,  be  thou  the  strength  of  my  heart 
and  my  portion  for  ever." 

0  Lord,  I  beseech  thee,  pity  those  who  are  destitute  of 
this  blessed  hope,  and  give  them  grace  to  repent,  believe, 
and  seek  until  they  find  the  .alvation  of  their  souls. 

36?. —  Sabbath  morning  visited,  talked,  and  prayed  with 
a  sick  woman.  0  Lord,  I  thank  thee  for  strength  of  body 
and  mind  to  perform  so  delightful  a  task ;  may  my  feeble 


MRS.    MAIIY    1!UAI)L1:Y 


o 


209 


fight 


face 
there 


efforts  for  her  .c;oo;l  he  crowned  witli  tlie  divine  lilossin;.', 
tliut  she  may  he  hrou;;lit  to  repentance,  faiili  in  the  Lord 
Jesu3,  and  sound  conversion,  that  the  Holy  {Spirit  may 
Avitness  to  her  soul  that  she  is  horn  of  God. 

Go  with  us  to  tliy  iiouse,and  hless  the  assenihHcs  of  thy 
saints  tliis  day  ;  may  thy  ministers  he  cU)thed  witli  salva- 
tion and  thv  saints  shout  for  iov. 

Jlev.  J.  J>.  Strong  j)reached  from  1  Chron.  20  :  5  : 
"  Wlio  then  is  wilUn;:;  to  consecrate  his  services  this  day  mito 
the  Lord."  After  speaking  of  the  character,  age,  an<l  infir- 
mities of  king  David,  tlie  charge  to  his  son,  and  all  Israel 
to  persevere  in  hringing  their  offerings  to  huild  the  house 
of  the  Lord,  he  improved  and  spiritualized  the  suhject  to 
the  edification  of  the  congregation,  and  gave  the  sacra- 
ment. 

At  three  o'clock  I  met  my  class,  a  privilege  which  I 
greatly  enjoy,  and  a  work  in  which  I  delight  to  direct,  en- 
courage, and  urge  on  my  Christian  sisters,  in  their  heav- 
enly journey,  that  hcing  strengthened  hy  the  Sjiirit's 
might  in  the  inner  man  they  may  continually  grow  stronger 
and  stronger. 

In  the  evening  Rev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Gen.  28 : 
20,  21.  "  And  Jacob  vowed  a  vow,  saying.  If  God  will  be 
with  me,  and  keep  me  in  this  way  that  I  go,  and  will  give 
me  bread  to  eat,  and  raiment  to  put  on,  so  that  I  come 
again  to  my  father's  house  in  peace  ;  then  shall  the  Lord 
be  my  God."  After  sermon,  which  was  calculated  to  be 
a  great  blessing  to  all  present,  the  covenant  with  God  was 
renewed  —  a  solemn  and  impressive  time. 

"  To  each  the  covenant  blood  apply, 
Whicii  takes  our  sin?  away, 
And  register  our  names  on  high, 
And  keeps  us  to  that  day." 


'210 


L[Fli    AND    EXl'ERIEXCE  OF 


\Oth.  —  Rev.  Vj.  Wood  in'cached  from  Hebrews  10  :  35. 
*'  Cast  not  away  tlicreforo  your  conrKlenco,  which  liath 
great  rocomj)cnsc  of  rowanl."  In  tlio  ovcniiii^,  Rev.  J. 
R.  Strou;,'  preached  from  Acts  13  :  38,  39.  "  Re  it  known 
unto  you  tlierofore,  men  an<l  l>rethren,  that  through  this 
man  is  preached  unto  yon  the  forgiveness  of  sins :  And 
by  iiim  all  that  ))elieve  are  justified  from  all  things,  from 
•which  ye  could  not  be  justified  by  the  law  of  Moses." 

How  great  is  the  mercy  of  God  to  us,  that  we  have  the 
glorious  gospel  i)reached  in  its  i)urity.  ( ),  may  it  be  sanc- 
tified to  the  good  of  every  soul. 

13//<.  —  T  held  a  prayer  meeting  at  !Mr.  Smiler's  ;  con- 
versed with  Catharine,  avIio  seems  very  desirous  to  obtain 
the  knowledge  of  sins  forgiven. 

( )  Lord,  I  humbly  pray  thee  to  look  in  mercy  upon  her, 
and  give  her  grace,  faith,  and  zeal,  and  may  her  resolu- 
tion be, 

"  0  Lord,  I  wii;  ''ot  let  thee  go, 
Until  a  blessiii';  thou  bestow." 


-'9 


From  thence  I  went  to  Mr.  Wm.  Ilewet's ;  conversed 
and  prayed  with  Mrs.  II.  for  the  last  time.  She  has  been 
four  or  five  weeks  very  comfortable  in  her  mind,  ready 
and  waiting  for  the  summons  to  come  and  beckon  her  away. 

She  said,  "  When  you,  iSIr.  Wood,  and  all  the  people 
■will  be  praising  God  hero,  I  shall  be  praising  him  among 
the  holy  angels  in  heaven,  where  I  hope  we  shall  all  meet 
to  praise  him  together." 

14th.  —  At  two  in  the  afternoon,  Mrs.  Ilewet,  after  ex- 
claiming happy,  happy,  happy,  in  the  full  triumph  of  faith, 
took  her  flight,  from  Calvary  to  Zion's  height.  May  the 
testimony  she  has  left  prove  a  lasting  blessing  to  the  family 


MllS.    MAIIY     1!UAI>LI:Y. 


•Jll 


an<l  lii-'lily  cncoiin<'*m;'  to  ill  who  jiro  suukiiiL'  tho  same 
stilvatioii. 

I'if/i.  —  Kcv.  Mr.  Strong  I'VcaclRd  tliis  mninin^  from 
Matt.  7:21:     "  Not  every  one  tli:it  saith  \uito  me  Lord 
Lord,  sliall  enter  into  the  kiii;i;dnm  of  lieavcn,  but  he  tiiat 
doeth  tlic  will  of  niv  Father  which  is  in  heaven." 

Ilev.  Mr.  Wood,  read  the  funeral  service  in  the  chapel 
at  Mrs.  llewet's  funeral,  which  was  numerously  attended, 
and  preached  in  the  evenin;^  from  Joh  '2'2:  21.  "  Ac- 
(juaint  now  thyself  with  him,  and  he  at  jieace  ;  thereby 
good  shall  come  unto  thee."  ^Lav  the  word  spoken  be  as 
good  seed,  sown  ujion  good  ground,  and  produce  abun- 
dantly to  God's  glory. 

At  three  in  the  afternoon,  I  met  my  class. 

I  thank  thee,  O  Father,  for  the  privileges  I  have  en- 
joyed this  day.  Guide  my  hand  and  inspire  my  heart ; 
teach  me  wisdom,  and  make  me  altogether  such  as  thou 
wouldst  have  me,  and  may  I  completely  answer  the  end 
of  my  creation,  by  dedicating  myself  unreservedly  to 
thee. 

19th.  —  About  eleven  at  night,  an  alarm  of  fire  went 
through  the  street.  I  saw  a  great  light ;  it  proved  to  be 
at  Indiantown.  It  is  cause  of  thankfulness,  that  during 
the  year  past  we  have  had  but  one  serious  fire,  which 
was  the  poor-house,  burnt  down  last  winter.  0  Lord, 
look  in  pity  upon  us,  and  protect  us  from  the  judgments 
Ave  so  richly  deserve,  because  of  our  manifold  sins  and 
transgressions  which  Ave  have  committed  against  thee ; 
make  us  a  humble  and  contrite  people,  such  as  thou  canst 
delight  to  bless. 

Jan.  24.  —  Rev.  Mr.  Wood  preached  from  Ileb.  12 :  1. 


212 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


"  Wherefore  seeing  we  also  are  compassed  about  with  so 
great  a  cloud  of  witnesses,  let  us  lay  asi<lc  every  weight, 
and  the  sin  which  doth  so  easily  beset  us,  and  let  us  run 
Avith  patience  the  race  that  is  set  before  us."  In  the 
evening.  Rev.  J.  J],  Strong  preached  from  Isaiah  3:  10. 
"  Say  ye  to  the  righteous,  it  sliall  be  well  with  them  ;  for 
they  shall  eat  the  fruit  of  their  doings."  0  Lord,  bless 
the  seed  which  has  been  sown  this  day,  both  iiere  and  all 
over  the  earth  ;  for  all  souls  arc  thine ;  save  them  for 
Christ's  sake.     Amen. 

Slst. — Rev.  Mr.  Smitlison  preached  a  missionary  sermon 
from  Isaiah  28 :  16,  and  in  the  evening  from  Mark  1 :  15. 
Mav  an  abinidant  blessing  attend  his  word,  and  his  work 
be  prospered  to  the  ends  of  the  earth. 

0  Lord,  revive  thy  work  in  the  hearts  of  all  mankind, 
and  especially  in  my  little  class,  that  both  our  graces  and 
numbers  may  be  increased,  and  that  avc  may  all  grow  up 
into  our  living  Head. 

Feb.  24th.  —  0  Lord,  I  thank  and  praise  thy  great  and 
holy  name  for  thy  loving  kindness  and  multiplied  mer- 
cies toward  me,  thy  unworthy  creature  ;  I  thank  thee  for 
the  comfortable  influences  of  thy  Holy  Spirit  this  morn- 
ing ;  I  feel  in  my  declining  years  the  fulfilment  of  those 
promises  which  were  so  precious  to  me  in  the  days  of  my 
youth.  I  see  how  delightfully  the  wheel  of  time  and 
Providence  run  parallel  with  each  other,  to  bring  about 
those  events  so  long  foretold. 

"  T!i(iu,i^li  sin  mill  Satan  rajic  and  rave, 
Yet  .lesus'  precious  blood  can  save." 

2ijth.  —  I  thank  my  God  for  the  witness  of  the   Holy 
Spirit,  and  for  the  stability  of  mind  which  I  enjoy,  builded 


•ith  so 
rciglit, 
IS  run 
u   the 
3:  10. 
n ;  for 
,  bless 
!ind  all 
cm  for 

sermon 
1:  15. 

s  work 

lankind, 
ces  and 
jrovv  up 

Ire  at  and 

}(l  mer- 

hee  for 

morn- 

f  those 

of  my 

e  and 

about 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


213 


le  Holy 
builded 


upon  the  sure  foundation  stone,  Jesus  Christ,  the  rock  of 
my  salvation. 

"  TIdw  sweet  to  ctijn\'  that  calm  vopoi^o, 
Wliich  from  love's  sacred  fountain  tlows; 
'I'lie  sea,  how  calm,  wlieti  winds  subside, 
And  ail  tiie  r(jugliiiess  of  tlio  tide." 

March  lat. — This  day,  thirteen  years  ago,  my  first  hus- 
band, David  Morris,  departed  this  life  ;  it  ^va3  a  solemn 
day  to  me.  0  Lord,  I  beseech  thee,  prepare  me  also  for 
my  exit  out  of  time  into  a  blissful  eternity.  0,  phuige 
me  in  that  fountain  which  is  open  for  sin  and  uncleanness, 
that  I  may  be  every  whit  made  whole. 

4:th.  —  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  the  many  mercies  of 
life,  and  particularly  for  divine  assistance  afforded  me  this 
day,  while  engaged  in  writing  such  a  lengthy  letter  to  my 
dear  brother ;  the  subject  of  Avhicli  being  upon  religion, 
and  intended  for  a  member  of  another  church,  I  felt  it 
my  duty  to  submit  its  contents  to  the  investigation  of  the 
superintendent  minister  and  others,  that  if  my  views 
were  not  right,  or  not  in  accordance  with  the  analogy  of 
faith,  I  might  be  corrected,  and  the  cause  saved  from 
reproach  on  my  account.  The  design  in  tliis  undertaking 
is  fully  to  develope  my  views  of  gospel  truth  and  grace, 
manifest  my  kind  Christian  regard  for  my  brother,  and  to 
let  my  light  shine  before  others  to  the  honor  and  glory  of 
God. 

3Ia^  Ifit. — 0  thou,  who  art  the  King  of  kings,  and  Lord 

of  lords,  Avho  hast  laid  the  foundations  of  the   earth,  who 

boldest   the   waters  of  the  seas  as  in   the  hollow  of  thy 

hand,  and  takcst  up  the  isles  as  a  very  little  thing ;  who 

hast  made  all  things  out  of  nothing  by  the  word  of  thy 

power,  and  nothing  is  too  hard  for  thee  to  do ;  who  hast 
19 


214 


LirE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OE 


laid  our  help  upon  One  miglitj  to  save,  even  thy  dearly 
beloved  Sou,  and  hast  promised  that  whatsoever  we  sliall 
ask  in  his  name  wo  shall  receive  —  enable  me  to  aim  in 
all  things  by  a  single  eye  to  promote  the  divine  glory ; 
direct  me  by  thy  Holy  Spirit,  cleanse  me  from  all  sin, 
make  me  acceptable  in  thy  sight,  and  like  Mary,  may  I 
be  continually  found  at  my  Savior's  feet,  emptied  of  self, 
and  filled  with  the  love  of  God ;  that  thy  blessed  image 
may  be  enstamped  upon  my  heart,  and  that  all  my  doings 
may  be  ordered  by  thy  government ;  that  I  may  neither 
fear  the  frowns  nor  regard  the  flatteries  of  this  world  ; 
that  my  mind  may  be  wholly  set  upon  thee,  and  that  thy 
word  may  be  my  meditation  all  the  day,  and  every  day. 
Pour  out  thy  Holy  Spirit  upon  all  people,  and  hasten  the 
glorious  day  when  all  shall  know  thee ;  when  all  the 
nations  of  the  earth  shall  bow  to  thy  sceptre,  and  Satan's 
kingdom  shall  fall  as  lightning  from  heaven  ;  that  thy 
children  may  get  a  complete  victory  over  both  him  and 
themselves ;  that  sin  may  be  all  destroyed ;  that  Jesus 
Christ  our  Lord  may  rule  in  us  and  reign  over  us,  ever- 
more.    Amen. 

March  IZth.  —  Mysterious  are  the  ways  of  thy  Provi- 
dence, 0  Lord,  who  dwellest  in  thick  darkness  as  in  the 
bright  effulgence  of  unapproached  light ;  whose  wa}'-  is  in 
the  whirlwind  as  in  the  mighty  deep ;  the  darkness  and 
the  light  are  both  alike  to  thee  ;  therefore,  may  none  of 
the  occurrences  of  time  impede  our  progress  in  following 
after  thee  in  the  path  of  our  duty. 


Deep  in  unfiitliomiible  mines 

Of  ncver-f;ulinf]j  skill, 
He  treasures  up  iiis  bright  designs, 

And  works  his  sovereign  will. 


dearly 
e  shall 
aim  in 

glory ; 
all  sin, 

may  I 
of  self, 
,  image 
r  doings 

neither 

world  ; 
;hat  thy 
ry  day. 
sten  the 

all   the 

Satan's 
that  thy 
lim  and 
at  Jesus 
US,  ever- 

y  Provi- 

in  the 

ivay  is  in 

less  and 

none  of 

bllowing 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY.  215 

Ye  fearful  saint-s,  fresh  coura;jo  take, 

TIic  c'loiuls  ye  so  uiiK'h  (Ireiul, 
Are  bipj  with  nierc\',  and  shall  break 

In  bles>iiig.s  on  your  head." 

14^/i.  — Rev.  Mr.  Strong  preached  from  Isaiah  So:  10. 
"  And  the  ransomed  of  the  Lord  sliall  return,  and  come 
to  Zion  with  songs  and  everlasting  joy  upon  their  heads; 
they  sliall  obtain  joy  and  gladness,  and  sorrow  and  sighing 
shall  flee  away."  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul,  for  the 
privilege  of  the  gospel  in  its  purity  ;  blessed  are  the 
people  who  hear  and  know  the  joyful  sound.  May  we 
prove  ourselves  to  be  the  true  citizens  of  Zion.  May  the 
Captain  of  our  salvation  enable  us  to  fight  manfully  under 
his  banner,  and  put  to  flight  all  our  spiritual  foes,  that  we 
may  rejoice  in  our  Redeemer,  and  be  washed  from  our  sins 
in  his  blood.  In  the  evening,  Rev.  E.  Wood  preached  from 
Acts  17  :  31.  — "  Recause  he  hath  appointed  a  day,  in 
the  which  he  will  judge  the  world  in  righteousness  by  that 
man  whom  he  hath  ordained  ;  Avhereof  he  hath  given 
assurance  unto  all  men,  in  that  he  hath  raised  him  from 
the  dead."  The  Lord  prepare  me  for  the  solemnities  of 
that  day,  for  which  all  other  days  were  made,  and  may  I 
be  clothed  with  the  robe  of  righteousness  and  the  gar- 
ments of  salvation. 

loth.  —  Another  day  is  gone,  never  to  return  !  0,  hast- 
en that  glorious  day  when  all  shall  know  the  Lord,  from 
the  setting  to  the  rising  sun;  wben  peace  and  love  shall 
reign  in  every  heart. 

16th.  —  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  this  evening  from 
Malachi  3  :  IG,  17.  My  soul  was  trulv  dcliiihted  to  hear 
Christian  communion  so  highly  recommended  and  enforced 
by  Scripture  example.     It  is  the   delight  of  my  soul  to' 


216 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


converse  -with  Christians  upon  religious  subjects  —  to  tell 
of  my  [Savior's  love,  and  invite  others  to  jiurtake  \Yith  nic 
of  the  gospel  feast- 
It  has  heen  a  blessed  day  to  my  soul ;  some  texts  of 
Scripture  have  opened  to  my  mind  with  clearer  light  than 
ever  before,  praise  the  Lord,  llow  gently  did  the  Lord 
deal  with  tlie  first  nations  of  men,  and  how  gradually  did 
the  light  of  divine  revelation  discover  the  great  evil  of 
sin,  and  direct  to  the  propitiatory  means  of  appeasing  the 
divine  displeasure,  by  the  sacrifice  of  innumerable  inno- 
cent creatures,  as  types  and  shadows  inidcr  the  law  of 
good  things  to  come.  How  it  ought  to  humble  us  as  in 
the  dust,  to  thiidc  of  the  sins  of  the  human  family  since 
its  commencement,  and  the  vast  amount  of  suffering  it 
has  occasioned,  not  only  to  millions  of  animals  cruelly  and 
piacidarly,  but  to  myriads  of  mankind  maliciously  and 
wickedly ;  but  above  all,  the  uid<nown  sufferings  and 
death  of  our  great  High  Priest,  whose  vicarious  sacrifice 
is  instead  of  all  sacrifices  the  end  of  the  law  for  right- 
eousness ;  to  re-open  the  gates  of  paradise,  that  grace, 
mercy,  and  pardon  may  be  the  privilege  of  all,  and  that 
mansions  in  heaven  may  be  assigned  to  all  the  faithful  in 
Christ  Jesus. 

No  one  in  this  Avorld  has  greater  cause  to  be  deeply 
humbled  than  I  have,  or  to  love  and  praise  thee  more  ; 
0,  may  the  healing  balm  of  the  Redeemer's  precious 
blood  be  applied  to  my  soul. 

21.'^^.  —  Ihis  morning,  I  visited  sister  A.  King,  who  is 
weak  in  body,  and  much  disturbed  and  tempted  in  her 
mind.  Thinks  her  final  dissolution  is  at  hand  ;  fears  de- 
lusion, and  self-deception,  as  the  consequence  of  an  empty 
profession,  and  is  ready  to  despair  of  her  soul's  salvation. 


-  to  tell 
ith  inc 

cxts  of 
;ht  than 
e  Lord 
ally  (lid 
evil  of 
>in^  the 
le  inno- 
law  of 
s  as  in 
y  since 
::;ring  it 
L'llv  and 
ily  and 
gs  and 
sacrifice 
r  right- 
grace, 
nd  that 
;hful  in 


deeply 

more  ; 

)recious 


■who  is 
in  her 
ars  de- 
i  empty 
Ivation. 


MRS.   MARY    ERADLEY. 


217 


0  Lord,  scatter  every  cloud  that  veils  her  mind,  and  give 
her  to  enjoy  peace  with  thee,  and  the  Holy  {Spirit  the 
comforter. 

Rev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Colossians  8:  3.  —  "For 
ye  are  dead,  and  your  life  is  hid  with  Christ  in  God."  I 
thank  the  Lord  for  the  privilege  of  hearing  that  blessed 
discourse  ;  it  was  as  marrow  and  flitness  to  mv  soul.  Mav 
it  prove  the  bread  and  water  of  life  to  my  Father's  chil- 
dren, and  the  means  of  fastening  conviction  upon  the 
hearts  of  sinners. 

2bth.  —  Rev.  Mr.  Strong  preached  from  Matt.  25  :  10. 
"  And  while  they  went  to  buy,  the  bridegroom  came  ;  and 
they  that  were  ready  went  in  with  him  to  the  marriage : 
and  the  door  was  shut."  With  how  many  faithful  gospel 
sermons,  and  other  means  of  grace,  is  this  city  weekly 
favored  !  ^lay  all  the  people  see  eye  to  eye  in  the  Scrip- 
tural plan  of  salvation,  through  our  glorious  Redeemer. 

Rev.  Mr.  Wood  preached  from  Acts  27  :  29  :  "  Then 
fearing  lest  they  should  have  fallen  upon  rocks,  they  cast 
four  anchors  out  of  the  stern,  and  wished  for  the  day." 

A  voyage  at  sea  is  a  beautiful  figure  of  our  passage 
through  life,  exposed  to  various  peiils  and  storms.  I  felt 
thankful  for  hearing  the  word  so  profital)ly  oxpLaincd. 

"  ilay  I  safely  cast  my  anchor, 
And  patiently  wait  for  tlie  day, 
When  winds  and  storms  of  sorrow, 
Shall  be  forever  done  away." 

28^/i. — Rev.  Mr.  Strong  preached  from  Romans  12  :  2. 
"  And  be  not  conformed  to  this  world  :  but  be  ye  trans- 
formed by  the  renewing  of  your  mind,  that  ye  may  prove 
what  is  that  good,  and  acceptable,  and  perfect  will  of  God." 
May  I  be  enabled,  with  all  who  sit  under  the  gospel  this 
19* 


218 


LIFE    AND   EXPERIENCK   OF 


day  to  receive  the  instructions,  admonitions,  and  invitations 
so  as  to  be  enabled  to  jiresent  our  bodies  a  living  sacrifice, 
hoi/  and  acce[)table  to  (jlod,  which  is  our  reasonable  ser- 
vice. Bless  thy  servant,  and  crown  his  labors  abundantly. 
In  the  evening  llev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Luke  IG  : 
19,  20.  May  the  word  preached  this  evening  have  a  good 
effect  upon  every  heart,  that  the  alarm  given  may  lead  many 
souls  to, 

"  Shun  the  dreadful  wrath  severe, 
That  when  thou  comest  on  thy  throne, 
They  may  witli  joy  appear." 

20th. —  Our  city  has  had  a  serious  alarm  of  fire  to-day, 
and  although  considerable  damage  is  done,  yet  nothing 
more  than  might  have  been  expected  in  such  a  thickly- 
settled  place.  Blessed  be  the  Lord,  for  his  kind  providence 
and  protection,  in  this  time  of  danger. 

•  30^/i.  —  Mr.  Sleep  preached  from  Psalm  109  :  4.  "  For 
my  love  they  are  my  adversaries,  but  I  give  myself  unto 
prayer."  How  delightful  to  draw  nigh  and  converse  with 
him,  in  -whom  we  can  place  the  greatest  confidence.  0 
heavenly  Father,  give  me  the  true  and  living  faith,  and 
may  I  always  exercise  a  praying  sfjirit,  and  have  my  heart 
filled  with  love  to  thee  and  all  mankind. 

Bless  the  labors  of  all  thy  sent  servants  abundantly,  that 
thousands  and  tens  of  thousands  through  the  earth  may  fly 
to  thee  as  clouds,  and  as  doves  to  their  windows. 

April  1.  —  This  day  the  Rev.  Mr.  Strong  delivered  to 
me  the  Monday  night  class-book,  and  the  charge  of  the 
class.  0  Lord,  give  me  grace  and  mental  ability  for  the 
profitable  discharge  of  this  important  duty,  and  that  the 
love  and  piety  of  the  members  may  be  increascvi  aoun- 
dantly,  to  the  divine  glory. 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY". 


210 


itations 
icrifice, 
,ble  ser- 
idantly. 
ike  IG  : 
e  a  good 
id  many 


3  to-day, 
nothing 
thickly- 

ovidcnce 

L  "For 
elf  unto 
;rse  with 
nee.  0 
lith,  and 
ny  heart 

tly,  that 
may  fly 

ered  to 
of  the 
for  the 
that  the 
d  aijun- 


4th.  —  Rev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Revelations  7  :  14 : 
'•  These  are  they  which  cauic  out  of  great  tribulation,  and 
have  washed  their  robes,  and  made  them  white  in  the  blood 
of  the  Lamb 


>> 


I  thank  thee,  Lord,  for  tlie  season  of  comfort  I  enjoyed, 
while  sitting  under  his  Word,  and  for  the  supporting  grace 
given  to  me  under  past  peculiar  adlictions  and  trials. 

"  0  for  a  closer  wnlk  witli  Cod, 
A  calm  aii(!  liciiveiily  tVuine  ; 
A  liglit  to  shine  upon  the  roiid, 
That  loads  ino  to  tiie  Lamb  I" 

Rev.  Mr.  Strong  preached  fi-um  Acts  8  :  8.  "And  there 
was  great  joy  in  that  city." 

May  the  abundant  blessing  of  God  descend  upon  his 
ministers,  and  children  in  Zion,  and  his  kingdom  flourish  as 
the  Cedars  in  Lebanon,  and  his  will  be  done  on  earth  as  it 
is  in  heaven. 

0th.  —  I  feel  my  own  weakness  and  unworthiness ; 
but  pray  for  divine  assistance,  that  I  may  be  found  faith- 
ful, in  whatever,  by  an  unerring  Providence  I  am  called  to 
be  engaged.  I  feel  much  for  the  welfare  of  my  gRiss, 
that  the  work  of  grace  may  prosper  in  their  souls,  and 
that  it  would  please  the  Lord  to 

Enlarge  their  faith's  capai   ♦y, 

Wider,  and  yet  wider  still, 
And  then  with  all  that  is  in  him, 

Their  soul's  forever  fill. 

^th.  —  0  my  blessed  Savior,  I  adore  and  praise  thee 
for  thy  condescending  attention  to  prayer,  and  for  liberty 
of  access  to  the  throne  of  grace  ;  may  I  continually  feed 
upon  that  love,  which  is  sweeter  to  the  soul  than  honey, 
or  honey-comb  to  the  taste. 


220 


LIFE   AND    KXPERTENCE    OF 


9th.  -—Rev.  E.  Wood  ])rcachc(l  from  1  retcr  1  :  18,  U). 
"  Forasinucli  as  yo  know  tliat  vc  were  not  redeemed  witli 
corruptible  tldu.^s,  as  silver  and  i^old,  from  your  vain  con- 
versation received  hy  traditiun  from  your  fathers  ;  but 
"with  the  precious  blood  of  Christ,  as  of  a  lamb  ^vithout 
blemish  and  without  spot. 

Noticed  the  institution  of  the  paschal  lamb,  the  feast  of 
the  passover,  how  the  lamb  -was  killed,  a  figure  of  our 
Savior's  being  slain  to  make  atonement  for  us  :  the  blood 
sprinkled  upon  the  posts  of  the  doors,  a  figure  of  our  hearts 
being  cleansed,  by  the  sprinkling  of  the  blood  of  Jesus 
Christ  oar  Lord. 

Rev.  Mr.  Strong  preached  in  the  evening,  being  Good- 
Friday,  from  Luke  23,  33  :  "And  when  they  were  come  to 
the  place  "which  is  called  Calvary,  there  they  crucified 
him." 

When  I  consider  the  infinite  condescension  of  my  Re- 
deemer, his  patient  submission  to  the  cruelties  of  mankind, 
and  that  he  should  so  suffer  for  the  sins  of  the  fallen  race, 
to  satisfy  Divine  justice  by  the  atonement  of  his  precious 
blonid,  to  make  us  free  from  the  law  of  sin  of  death,  I 
fee.  humbled  and  astonished  beyond  measure,  to  think,  that 
he  has  not  only  paid  my  debt  for  sin,  to  deliver  me  from 
future  wrath,  and  the  tormenting  fear  of  it  ;  but  through 
grace  has  given  me  a  blessed  hope  of  a  heavenly  inheri- 
tance ; 

"  Far  from  a  world  of  grief  and  sin, 
With  God  etemiilly  sluit  in." 

I  humbly  pray  that  those  solemn  and  impressive  subjects 
may  be  blessed  to  all  who  heard  them  ;  and  that  in  this 
vinyard,  much  fruit  may  be  found,  and  may  I  experience 
a  lively  sense  thereof,  springing  up  in  my  own  soul. 

April  11th.  — Rev  .Mr.  Strong,  preached  from  1st  Epis- 


18,1' I. 
id  with 
in  con- 
s  ;  but 

ivithout 

feast  of 
of  our 
e  blood 
r  hearts 
Jesus 

5  Good- 
[;ome  to 
rucified 

my  Re- 
ankind, 
n  race, 
rccious 
eath,  I 

k, that 
lie  from 
hrough 

inheri- 


MRS.    MAllY   r.IlADLEY. 


2-21 


ibjccts 
I  in  this 
krience 


t  Epis- 


tle of  Peter,  1  :  3,  4.  "lilesscdbe  the  God  and  Fathe  f 
our  Lord  Jesus  Chiist,  Avhich,  aecordiiig  to  his  abundant 
mercy,  liath  boi^otten  us  a^^ain  uuto  a  lively  hope  by  the 
resurrection  of  Jesus  Christ  fr<  m  the  dead,  to  an  inherit- 
ance incorruptible,  and  niidefiled,  and  that  fadeth  not 
away,  reserved  in  heaven  for  yo  !."' 

He  beautifidly  set  forth  the  triumphant  hope  of  the  true 
Christian,  and  the  blessed  etfocts  j)roduccd  by  this  hope, 
in  the  hearts  aiid  lives  of  all  who  possess  it. 

In  the  evening  Rev.  E.  Wood's  text  was,  "  Who  is  he 
that  condemnctli  ?  it  is  Christ  that  died,  yea  rather  that 
is  risen  a;^ain,  who  is  even  at  the  right  hand  of  God,  who 
also  maketh  intercession  for  us." 

lie  proved  the  doctrine  of  the  resurrection,  by  various 
appears  !ices  of  the  Savior  to  difterent  persons,  and  after 
blessing  them,  he  was  parted  from  them,  and  ascended  up 
into  heaven. 

O  my  heavenly  Father,  give  me  more  grace,  wisdom, 
understanding,  humility,  and  love  ;  may  I  be  emptied  of 
self  and  filled  with  thee,  and  prepare  me  for  that  glorious 
resurrection  dav. 

ISth.  —  Rev.  Mr.  Strong  preached  from  Matt.  26  :  41. 
"  Watch  and  pray  that  ye  enter  not  into  temptation."  He 
faithfully  pressed  upon  us,  this  most  important  duty  of 
watching  over  our  own  dispositions,  and  against  every 
temptation  of  the  adversary.  I  ]n\ay  that  I  may  double 
my  diigence  in  this  and  every  other  duty. 

11th.  —  I  visited  E.  H.,  a  member  of  my  class,  whom  I 
felt  it  my  duty  to  reprove,  and  after  remonstrance,  to  ad- 
monish; may  he  who  looked  upon  Peter,  look  upon  her  in 
like  manner. 

18th.  — Rev.  E.  Wood,  preached  from  2  Cor.  6  :  17. 


222 


LIVE   AND    KXl'KRIKNCE    OP 


"  Therefore,  if  any  man  be  in  Cluist,  he  is  a  new  creature  : 
old  things  arc  passed  away  ;  beliold,  all  things  are  become 
new." 

When  our  souls  enjoy  spii-itual  union  with  Christ,  then 
we  begin  to  live  a  life  of  religion,  and  notwithstanding  the 
difficulties  of  the  way,  and  the  troubles  of  life,  if  our 
hearts  be  created  anew  in  Christ  Jesus,  and  we  constantly 
and  faithfully  fight  under  his  banner,  we  shall  ultimately 
win  the  prize  for  which  we  contend. 

In  the  evening.  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Col. 
1  :  27,  28.  "To  whom  God  would  make  known  what  is 
the  riches  of  the  glory  of  this  mystery  among  the  Cen*'les  ; 
which  is  Christ  in  you,  the  hope  of  glory  :  Whom  we 
preach,  warning  every  man,  and  teaching  every  man,  in 
all  wisdom  ;  that  we  may  present  every  man  perfect  in 
Christ  Jesus." 

TIiG  Lord  perfect  the  work  of  sanctification,  and  ripen 
my  soul  for  that  heavenly  habitation,  where  I  may  behold 
the  face  of  my  Redeemer,  and  praise  his  holy  name  for 
ever  and  ever.  Amen. 

Idth.  —  E.  11.  visited  me  to-day,  and  manifested  a 
better  spirit ;  may  the  work  of  grace  be  deepened  in  her 
heart,  that  she  may  conquer  inbred  sin,  Satan,  and  the 
world  ;  put  her  feet  upon  the  necks  of  all  her  spiritual 
enemies,  and  closely  follow  the  Lord  all  the  way  to 
heaven. 

20th.  —  Rev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  John  15  :  5. 
Christ  is  the  vine,  the  Father  is  the  .husbandman,  the 
Christian  church  are  the  branches,  a  beautiful  union  ! 

How  necessary  a  grace  is  faith,  and  how  it  behoves  us 
to  be  importunate  at  a  throne  of  grace,  for  the  enjoyment 
of  every  Gospel  blessing. 


MRS.    MAIIY   LRADLEY. 


!c^W 


}atiirc : 
become 

3t,  then 
ing  the 
if  our 
istantly 
imately 

om  Col. 
Avliat  is 
en*^iles ; 
hom  we 
man,  in 
irfect  in 

id  ripen 
,'  behold 
lamc  for 

'csted  a 
in  her 
and  the 
piritual 
way  to 

15  :  5. 


I  an, 

I 


the 


in  1 
loves  us 
joymcnt 


2'^)(l.  —  Met  sister  B.,  at  three  o'clock,  for  social  con- 
versation and  prayer,  and  found  it  very  profitable. 

2i')th.  —  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  i)reached  from  Luke  17  :  32. 
<'Kemcmber  Lot's  Wife." 

May  the  awful  punishment  of  her  disobedience,  prove  a 
solemn  warniug  to  us,  lest  through  temptation  and  weak- 
ness, we  yield  to  unbelief  and  hardness  of  heart  and  make 
shipwreck  of  faith  and  a  good  conscience. 

In  the  evening,  llev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Acts  24: 
25.  "  And  as  he  reasoned  of  righttjousness,  temperance, 
and  judgment  to  come,  Felix  treml)led,  and  answered,  Go 
thy  way  for  this  time  ;  when  I  have  a  convenient  season, 
I  will  call  for  thee." 

Lord  send  down  upon  the  assemblies  of  the  people  such 
showers  of  the  Holy  S[)irit,  tliat  their  hearts  may  be  soft- 
ened, their  understandings  enlightened,  and  war  jdoclaim- 
ed  against  all  their  sins,  until  a  complete  victory  be  won, 
in  the  conversion  of  thousands  of  precious  souls. 

2Sth.  —  0  Lord,  thou  scest  how  I  have  been  tempted 
this  day  ;  be  seech  thee  give  me  to  feel  a  constant  de- 
pendence upon  thy  mercy  ;  scatter  the  clouds  that  veil  ray 
mind,  that  I  may  enjoy  the  constant  light  of  thy  reconciled 
countenance.  Come  in,  thou  blessed  Savior,  and  take  full 
possession  of  my  heart,  that  I  may  rise  under  the  full  in- 
slampcd  image  of  righteousness  and  holiness  to  inherit 
glory. 

May  all  the  members  of  my  two  classes  enjoy  the  same 
consolation,  with  all  who  love  and  fear  God. 

30^/i. — 0  Lord,  I  feel  myself  an  unworthy  and  unprofit- 
able servant ;  my  heart  not  so  much  engaged  as  I  could 
wish  :  shed  abroad  thy  love,  and  quicken  me  by  thy  Holy 
Spirit,  and  deliver  me  from  all  coldness,  unbelief,  and 
every  hinderance  to  my  intercource  with  thee. 


224 


LIFE   AND    EXPEUIENCE   OF 


4 


Maif  2.  —  Ilov.  E.  "Wood,  i>roucheJ  from  Psulin  73  :  28. 
*'  liiit  it  is  irood  ibr  inc  to  draw  near  to  (iod." 

0  Lord,  [  thank  tlicc  I  do  know  by  happy  experience 
that  it  is  a  ^^ood  tliin<^  to  draw  near  to  t)iec  ;  in  doini;  so  I 
have  found  peace,  comfort,  consolation,  and  an  assurance 
of  pardoned  sin.  I  liave  been  an  i;^norant,  guilty  sinner 
before  thee,  and  knew  not  wliich  way  to  obtain  thy  favor  ; 
but  listening  to  thy  invitations,  I  took  encoura^^ement  to 
draw  nigh  by  prayer,  and  glory  be  to  thy  holy  name,  it 
was  not  labor  in  vain.  I  have  this  day  felt  my  strength 
renewed  like  the  eagle's,  and  a  fresh  deterniinati(jn  to  run 
my  heavenly  race,  until  I  shall  arrive  safely  in  the  land  of 
everlasting  rest. 

Rev.  J.  J>.  Strong  preached  from  Luke  10  :  42.  "l>ut 
one  thing  is  needful."  lie  showed  there  was  not  any 
thing  that  could  possibly  be  obtained  of  a  worldly  nature, 
that  could  make  us  liappy  in  time  or  eternity,  short  of 
true  religion.  I  pray  that  this  interesting  discourse  may 
be  made  a  great  blessing  to  the  congregation. 

4^/i.  — This  evening  Rev.  Mr.  Brown,  a  Wcslevanmin- 

CD  '  •* 

ister  from  the  United   States,  preached  from  tliis  text : 
*'  Behold  I  Avill  stand  before  thee  there  upon  the  rock." 

6t/i.  —  Enable  me,  0  Lord,  to  cast  my  care  upon  thee ; 
to  love  thee  with  all  my  heart,  soul,  and  strength,  and  to 
submit  to  thy  will  in  all  things. 

"Jth.  —  0  Lord,  thou  secst  how  much  I  am  like  Martha, 
careful  and  cumbered  with  many  things  ;  give  me  grace  to 
call  in  all  my  wandering  thoughts,  that  ray  heart  may  open 
to  thee,  that  thou  mayest  come  in  and  abide  with  me. 

Wi.  —  I  thank  thee.  Lord,  for  the  relief  afforded  to  mv 
soul  this  day,  for  the  healing  balm,  the  Redeemer's  pre- 


cious b 
itance. 
It///. 
1  Cor. 
stead  fa 
the  lioi 
vain  ifi 
preachi. 
cth,  for 
day,  foi 

Wh. 
name  ol 
for  sjtin 
out  my 
upon  liii 
fully  pr^ 
Christ  n 

nth. 
''  Ilim  t: 
Lord,  bl 
ners,  th[ 
til  they  i 
waudere 
that  the' 
hope  of  1 

nth. 
journey 
in  my  ho 
let  not  ^\ 
my  moul 
in  thy  si 


MU3.    MARY    JUIADLKV. 


•225 


cious  Itlood  ;  for  li1)crty,  an  earnest  of  \ny  licavenly  inlicr- 
itance. 

U(/i.  —  This  mornin;^  Uov.  J.  15.  Stron;^  preached  from 
1  Cur.  1."):  58.  *' Therrfore,  my  heluve<l  bri'tliren,  be  ye 
steadfast,  imniovahlc,  always  aboundin;^^  in  tlie  \v()rk  of 
the  lionl,  forasmuch  as  yo  know  that  your  labor  is  not  in 
vain  in  the  Lord."  In  the  evenin;^  Jtev.  A.  Deslirisay 
preaelied  from  Joel  '2  :  '\ .  '•  I^'or  tlio  day  of  the  Lord  com- 
etli,  for  it  is  ni^h  at  hand."  Tlie  Jiord  prepare  me  for  that 
dav,  for  which  all  other  davs  were  made. 

'iOfh.  —  T  thaidv  and  jiraise  the  great,  holy,  and  ,L»;loriou3 
name  of  the  Lord,  for  liis  kindness  towards  mo  this  day; 
for  si>iritnal  liberty,  kind  prayin.g  friends,  f^racc  to  work 
out  my  salvation  with  fear  and  tremblin":,  and  a  reliance 
upon  him,  that  he  will  not  call  mc  out  of  this  world  until 
fully  prepared  for  a  heavenly  mansion  above,  through  Jesu3 
Christ  my  Lord  and  Savior. 

'Wth.  —  Rev,  A.  Desbrisay  preaelied  from  John  0  :  37. 
^'  llim  that  c<mieth  to  me  I  will  in  no  wise  cast  out."  0 
Lord,  bless  the  Word  to  the  encouragement  of  poor  sin- 
ners, that  thev  may  seek  thee  with  their  whole  hearts,  un" 
til  they  obtain  pardoning  mercy  ;  reclaim  those  wdio  have 
wandered  from  thee,  and  revive  thy  work  in  their  souls, 
that  they  may  again  praise  thy  holy  name,  and  rejoice  in 
hope  of  salvation. 

l:]th.  —  Another  day  is  gone  into  eternity  ;  how  soon  the 
journey  of  life  will  end  !  0  Lord,  deepen  thy  good  work 
in  my  heart ;  cleanse  mc  from  all  sin  and  fit  me  for  heaven  ; 
let  not  wandering  thou-hts  prevail ;  but  may  the  words  of 
my  mouth  and  the  meditations  of  my  heart  be  acceptable 
in  thy  sight,  0  Lord,  my  strength  ami  my  Redeemer. 
20 


'^' 


226 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


;'! 


i    : 


14:th.  —  This  cvcniiiir  our  nnavtei'lvlovo-fenst  Avas  held  ; 
the  Rev.  11.  WiUiiuns  pi-c^hl'd.  I  tliaiik  the  Lord,  for 
tlie  peace  of  mind.  1  enjoyed  ;  uiav  a  ihime  or'  love  I)e  kin- 
dled up  in  every  heart,  anil  the  work  of  the  Lord  be  abun- 
dantly revived. 

15th.  —  I  thank  the  Lord  for  his  kind  care  over  us  anotlier 
week,  and  pray  that  all  the  old  leaven  of  sin  may  be  p\u-ged 
out,  and  that  I  may  be  a  new  creature  in  the  Lord,  emptied 
of  self  and  filled  with  God.  May  I  be  more  faithful  to 
God,  his  cause,  and  my  own  soul ;  may  I  have  more  .^raco 
and  the  Holy  Spirit,  that  by  divine  assistance  I  may  do  all 
that  is  refpiired  of  mo,  and  sit  calm  on  tumult's  wheel 
amidst  the  busy  cares  of  life,  serenely  contemplating  the 
unspeakable  pleasure  of  a  safe  landing  on  the  eternal  shore. 

IGth.  —  Ui\  D.  preached  from  Exodus  20  :  8.  '•  Re- 
member the  Sabbath  day  to  kec})  it  lioly."  The  Lord 
seal  instruction  u})on  all  our  hearts,  and  ciial)le  us  to  ob- 
serve all  his  commands,  and  to  keep  his  Sabbaths  holy, 
■which  arc  a  figure  of  the  heavenly  rest.  Rev.  R.  "Wil- 
liams preached  tliis  evening,  from  John  14  :  15.  "  Then 
said  Jesus  unto  them  jilainly,  Lazarus  is  dead,  and  I  am 
glad  for  your  sakes  that  I  was  not  there  to  the  intent  that 
ye  may  believe,  nevertheless  let  us  go  unto  him."  lie 
spoke  of  the  amiablencss  of  that  family,  who  had  so  fre- 
quently entertained  our  blessed  Savior  in  their  house,  and 
■when  Lazarus  was  suddenly  taken  sick,  his  sister  sent  a 
messenger  to  him,  saying,  "  lie  whom  thou  lovcst  is  sick. 
Jesus  said,  this  sickness  is  not  unto  death ;  but  for  the 
glory  of  God." 

ISth.  -  Mr.  :\IcLeod  preached  from  1  Tcter  IG :  12. 
"  AVherefore  I  will  not  be  negligent  to  put  you  always  in 


MRS.    ^rARY    BRADLEY. 


2-27 


'•  Ro- 

to  ob- 
s  luily, 

Av'il- 
'  Then 

I  ani 

it  1 1  lilt 

lie 

bo  IVe- 

ic,  and 

ent  a 
Is  sick. 

r   the 

lavs  in 


remembrance  of  these  thinp!;s  though  ye  know  thorn,  and 
be  cstabruslicd  in  tlic  present   truth."     I  acknowledge  my 

stupor  and  sloth  tliis  evenin^!^. 

"  Why  i>  uiy  lu':\rt  -■>  fur  iVuiii  tlu>c  ? 
My  (!uil.  my  cliicl"  dcli'jlit  ; 
AVliy  lire  my  liinuirlits  no  nmre  with  thee 
]»y  'hiy ;  no  mure  by  ni^i^lit  'i  "' 

20^//.  —  0  Lord,  pardon  my  manifold  sins,  and  cleanse 
them  root  and  branch  from  my  heart  ;  fill  me  with  thy  love, 
and  restore  to  mo  the  joys  of  thy  salvation,  that  the  con- 
stant lauL'uaLre  of  mv  heart  mav  be,  "  Whom  have  I  in 
]ieavou  i)ut  thco  ;  and  there  is  none  on  earth  I  desire  in 
comparison  to  thee." 

'21.s•^  —  What  an  unspeakable  blessing,  to  feel  an  mv 
shaken  confidence  in  the  Lor.l,  wlio  doeth  all  thin^is  well 
both  in  tiuio  and  in  eternity,  who  cannot  possibly  err,  and 
under  whoso  protection  I  feel  })erfectly  safe  ;  whose  word 
is  truth,  without  one  mixture  of  error,  and  so  firm,  that 
not  one  jot  or  tittle  of  it  can  fail,  and  those  who  trust  in 
him,  shall  be  as  mount  Zion,  which  cannot  be  moved,  but 
ab.deth  for  ever. 

'I'ld.  —  Another  week  has  just  past  into  eternity.  I  de- 
sire to  be  thankful  for  all  past  favors,  and  live  for  the  future 
more  to  the  divine  glor^'. 

23t/.  —  This  evening,  ^Ir,  McLeod  preached  from  Ro- 
mans 12  :  1.  "I  beseech  you  therefore  brethren,  by  the 
mercies  of  God,  that  ye  present  your  bodies  a  living  sacri- 
fice, holy,  acceptable  unto  God,  which  is  your  reasonable 


service. 


n 


"  My  drowsy  power-*  why  sleep  yc  so 
Awake  my   slii,uj,M*h  !-oul  ; 
Notliiiiu:  hiUh  htiir  tliy  work  to  do, 
Yet  nothing  's  half  so  dull." 


,     it 


228 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


V 


.t 

.."t 


'.-Tt 


ISIay  the  soul-anlmatin.:?  truth,  so  beautifully  and  in- 
structively conveyed,  be  divhiely  accomi»anied  to  the  sal- 
vation of  tlie  hearers.  Send  forth  the  convincing  spirit 
into  every  heart,  and  cnligliten  their  understandings  ; 
storm  tlie  castle  of  Satan  and  sin,  and  capture  their  strong- 
hold ;  that  truth  may  vaniiuish  error,  and  righteousness 
sin  ;  that  a  dying  ^vorld  may  acce[)t  of  a  free  and  full  sal- 
vation, through  the  blood  of  the  Lamb. 

2-\:th.  —  I  thank  the  Lord  for  his  kindness  to  me  this 
day,  and  especially  this  evening,  for  his  sensible  presence 
among  us  in  the  class  meeting.  Bless  the  Lord,  0  my 
soul,  and  forget  not  all  his  benefits. 

2ijth.  — •  0  Lord  continue  thy  mercies  through  this  short 
life,  to  the  unworthy  -workmanship  at  thy  feet,  and  at  life's 
last  gasp,  receive  me  to  thyself,  to  praise  thy  holy  name 
for  ever  and  ever.  Amen. 

2i)th.  —  This  day  has  been  a  time  of  trial.  Satan  has 
shown  liis  craftiness  in  tcm[)ting  those  who  are  dear  to  me, 
to  throw  some  of  his  fiery  darts  at  me,  and  although  slightly 
wounded,  I  am  not  slain. 

Thanks  be  to  the  Lord  who  is  all-sufficient,  upon  whose 
promises  I  rely,  for  strength  according  to  my  day. 

How  long,  0  Lord,  shall  sin  and  Satan  reign  over  the  souls 
of  mankind  ?  Look  with  pity  upon  that  immortal  spark, 
which  can  never  be  annihilated,  nor  ever  happy,  short  of 
a  union  with  thee,  by  faith  in  the   blood  of  the  Lamb. 

2St/i.  —  Holiness  becomes  thy  house,  0  Lord,  for  ever  ; 
cleanse  me  from  all  sin.  Why  this  dull  and  lifeless  frame  ? 
Stir  me  up  to  greater  diligence,  and  give  me  to  eat  of  that 
living  lu'cad  which  comcth  down  from  heaven,  and  drink 
of  that  living  water,  that  I  may  never  thirst  after  tlic  vo' : 
ties  of  this  world. 


MUS.    MARY    DRADLEY. 


229 


and  i li- 
the sal- 
f  sjiirit 
ulhigs  ; 
stroiig- 
:ovisncss 
full  sal- 

mc  this 
)rL'Scnce 
A,  ')  uiy 

his  short 
I  at  life's 
■Ay  name 

«atan  has 
\r  to  mc, 
a  sli;^htly 

m  ^vhosc 

the  souls 

jal  spark, 

I,  short  of 

(amb. 

for  over ; 

Is  frame  ? 

it  of  that 

ind  (Iri)ik 

the  YO'.i 


2dth.  —  Another  week  lias  gone  into  eternity.  Blessed 
he  the  Lord,  though  he  knows  nwwcakness,  unworthincss, 
and  negligence  in  his  service,  and  how  much  time  is  spent 
in  worldlypursuits,  yet  hitherto  he  has  brought  mc  in  safe- 
ty ;  may  I  return  to  Iiiin  continually,  just  as  I  am,  for  all 
the  blessings  1  reipiire,  that  I  may  glorify  him,  in  all  I 
think  and  do. 

Wfh.  —  This  morning,  Ticv.  A.  ^NlcXutt,  preached  from 
John  o  :  11  ;  "  Behold  what  manner  of  love  the  Father 
hath  bestowed  upon  us,  that  we  should  be  called  the  sons 
of  Cod!" 

I  thank  the  Lord,  that  upon  a  strict  examination,  I  have 
a  well  grounded  hope,  that  1  am  his  child  by  adopting 
grace,  and  1  can  look  up  to  him  with  confidence,  through 
Jesus  Christ  my  Savior. 

l^vodiiij.  —  Rev.  A.  McXutt  preached  from  ]\Latt.  16  : 
2o.  "•  For  what  is  a  man  profited,  if  he  shall  gain  the 
whole  world,  and  lose  his  own  soul  ?  or  what  shall  a  man 
give  in  cxcluinge  for  his  soul  ? " 

The  discourse  was  solemn  and  weighty  ;  may  the  Lord 
apply  it  to  every  heart,  that  sinners  realizing  their  danger, 
may  seek  the  Lord  with  all  their  heart. 

June  1.  —  This  evening,  Mr.  D.  preached  from  John 
10  :  27.  "My  sheep  hear  my  voice,  and  I  know  them, 
and  they  follow  me." 

licfore  I  ilrcw  tlic  vital  breatli, 

Tlie  Lamb  lor  me  liiil  sullcred  death. 

May  I  be  enabled  by  a  well  ordered  life  and  conversa- 
tion to  show,  that  I  am  one  of  his  sheep  ;  that  I  hear  his 
voice,  miderstand  it  in  every  respect,  and  follow  him 
closely. 

20* 


230 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


H 


M 


Gth.  — This  morning,  llcv.  J.  Ilcncgar,  preaclicd  from 
1  Chron.  4  :  10.  "  And  Jahcz  called  on  tlio  (Jod  of  Israel, 
savinir.  Oh  that  thou  wouldest  hlcss  mc  indeed,  and  enlarire 
my  coast,  and  that  thine  hand  mi^^ht  be  with  me,  and  that 
thou  -wouldest  keep  me  from  evil,  that  it  may  not  grieve 
me  !     And  God  granted  him  that  which  he  reijuested." 

Lord,  grant  that  the  pra^Tr  of  Jabez  may  be  the  prayer 
of  every  soul  on  earth  ;  that  all  may  call  upon  the  God  of 
Israel,  iu  faith,  nothing  doubting  ;  that  his  hand  may  be 
open  to  supply  every  human  want. 

In  the  evening,  lie  v.  J.  llenegar  preached  from  Mark 
1  :  40,  41.  "  And  there  came  a  leper  to  him,  beseeching 
liim,  and  kneeling  down  to  him  and  saying  unto  him,  if 
thou  wilt,  thou  canst  make  me  clean." 

"  And  Jesus,  moved  with  compassion,  put  forth  his 
hand,  and  touched  him,  and  sailh  unto  him,  I  will,  be 
thou  clean." 

The  leper  figuratively  represents  the  polluted  state  of  all 
Adam's  posterity. 

As  the  blessed  Savior  cured  all  who  came  to  him  while 
he  was  on  earth  ;  so  now,  he  has  power  to  forgive  sin, 
and  to  cleanse  from  ail  unrighteousness,  all  who,  like  the 
leper,  humbly  approach  him. 

I  thank  the  Lord,  who,  in  tender  mercy,  opejied  the  eyes 
of  my  understanding,  and  discovered  to  me  my  exceedingly 
polluted  state  by  nature,  and  directed  me  to  the  cleansing 
efficacy  of  the  Redeemer's  blood  ;  and  that  he  appeared 
to  me  altogether  lovely,  taking  away  the  burthen  of  my 
sin,  and  removed  my  guilty  fears,  and  implanted  in  mc  a 
new  nature,  so  that  I  rejoiced  exceedingly  in  the  God  of  my 
salvation. 

8th.  —  The  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Ps.  103  : 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


231 


15.    "  As  for  man,  liis  davs  are  as  grass  :  as  a  flower  of 
the  field,  so  he  flourisheth." 

Under  tlie  sermon,  I  was  much  impressed  with  a  sense 
of  the  brevity  of  human  life,  infirmit}',  and  death  ;  and 
pray  that  I  may  as  rajtidly  grow  in  grace,  and  ripen  for 
'lorv. 


o 


lOfh. — Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  what  he  is  doing,  in 
Ijringing  souls  to  himself.  The  signs  of  the  times  speak 
his  coming  near.     May  my  heart  be  all  a  heaven. 

12th.  —  0  Lord,  I  thank  thee  for  thy  special  favor  this 
day,  in  giving  me  such  a  gracious  answer  to  prayer. 

13M.  —  Rev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Job  14  :  14. 
"All  the  days  of  my  appointed  time  will  I  wait,  till  my 
change  come." 

Lord  enable  me  to  live  in  a  constant  preparation  for 
death,  to  live  every  day  a  if  it  were  my  last,  as  both  the 
time  and  mode  of  departure,  are  matters  of  such  entire 
suspense.  Death  is  the  last  of  all  our  earthly  foes ;  but 
Jesus  the  compieror  reigns,  and  through  him  we  have  a 
shield  to  quench  the  rage,  and  drive  the  alien  army  back. 
Deeply  eustamp  thy  lovely,  holy  image  on  my  heart,  that  I 
mav  live  to  thv  iilorv. 

llev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  ^vFatt.  3  :  1,  2.  "In 
those  days  came  Juhn  the  Bajitist,  preaching  in  the  wil- 
derness of  Judea,  and  saying,  repent  ye  ;  for  the  kingdom 
of  Heaven  is  at  hand." 

It  appears  that  all  mankind  have  fallen  in  Adam,  and 
inherit  a  fallen  nature,  llepentance  is  necessary  on  our 
part,  for  we  have  no  promise  of  pardon  Avithout  it,  and 
faith  in  the  great  atonement,  as  the  only  medium  of  God's 
mercy  to  guilty  man  ;  and  now  the  gospel  oifors  a  free, 


23-2 


LIFE   AND    EXI'EIUEXCE    OF 


full,  and  eternal   salvation  to  all,  ^vlio  will  seek  him  witli 
their  ;Yholo  heart. 

He  givos  tlio  jiraro,  lils  jinwiM-  to  move, 
U  \vuiulrou«  pnu'C,  0  boundlos.^  love  I 

June  2()fh,  18:]0.— Ilev.  8.  Bushy  preached  from  1  Tim. 
()  :  G.     "  JJut  ifodlincss  with  contentment  is  irreat  miin." 

The  suhject  was  introduced  hy  a  few  remarks  ujion  the 
efforts  made  hy  the  Judaizin^  teachers,  atnal^amating  the 
law  and  the  gospel,  in  order  more  effectually  to  mislead  ; 
teaching  that  gain  Avas  godliness,  hy  the  addition  of  the 
word  contentment,  (or  as  Dr.  Macknight  has  it,  com- 
petency,) the  Apostle  has  transposed  the  error  into  a 
blessed  gospel  truth. 

The  text  was  divided  as  follows  :  1st.  Defining  the  term. 
2d.  Explaining  its  iiature.  od.  8ho\Ning  its  advantages. 
The  definition  of  the  term  godliness,  was  represented  by  a 
little  argumentation  to  mean,  right  worship  :  the  explana- 
tion of  which  followed,  implying,  light  in  the  mind  ;  recti- 
tude in  the  conscience  ;  zeal  in  the  heart ;  sacrifice  in  the 
life.  Its  advantages,  great  gain,  Avere  exhibited  by  way 
of  comparison.  Whatever  might  be  understood  by  gain, 
arising  from  office,  honor,  and  emolument,  was  shown  to 
result  from  godliness,  in  all  its  amplitude,  enjoyment,  and 
pcr})etuity. 

The  application  of  the  subject  consisted  in  pointed  inter- 
rogatory, as  to  the  possession,  enjoyment,  and  practice  of 
godliness  being  absolutely  necessary  to  entitle  us  to  the 
enjoyment  of  heaven,  and  a  glorious  resurrection  to  eternal 
life. 

Glory  be  to  God  who  has  introduced  his  word  and  Avor- 
ship  among  us  ;  may  the  word  be  blessed  to  all  Avho  sat 


MRS.    MARY    r.RADLEY. 


233 


with 


Tim. 


?om- 


jternal 

(1  ^vol•- 
[lio  sat 


under  the  sound  of  it  ;  may  I  possess  god-likeness,  Avor- 
sliip  iiim  aright,  he  content  in  every  state,  realize  the  gain 
of  godliness  here,  and  liereai'ter  forever. 

Kov.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Luke  1  ">  :  7.  "I 
say  unto  you,  that  likewise  joy  shall  he  in  heaven  over  one 
sinner  that  repenteth,  more  than  over  ninety  and  nine  just 
persons  which  need  no  rejientancc. 

AVhat  encouragement  to  rei)entance  is  here  aflforded,  in 
addit'on  to  all  the  advantages  which  accrue  to  ourselves  ; 
deliverance  from  sin  and  misery,  pardon  and  holiness  : 
it  occasions  joy  amoni:  the  heavenly  hosts  to  witness  the 
increase  of  the  Savior's  kingdom,  the  downfall  of  Satan's 
power,  and  (Jod  honored  in  the  display  of  his  mercy,  grace, 
and  love.  Ride  on  in  thy  gospel  chariot,  0  thou  con(jueror 
of  the  nations,  until  all  shall  have  bowed  themselves  to 
thy  peaceful  sceptre. 

22tZ.  —  Rev.  W.  Sinitlison  preached  from  Rom.  14  :  17. 
"  The  kingdom  of  (lod  is  not  meat  and  drink  ;  but  right- 
eousness, peace,  ami  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost." 

God  has  provided  for  the  wants  of  the  body,  and  it  is  a 
great  blessing  to  enjoy  competency  :  but  he  has  likewise 
am})ly  provided  for  the  soul,  and  blessed  arc  they  who 
hun;rer  and  thirst  after  righteousness,  for  thev  shall  he 
filled.  The  blessings  named  in  the  text  were  shown  to  bo 
suitable,  atid  necessary  for  an  immortal  soul,  and  without 
them  the  soul  cannot  be  happy  :  righteousness,  opposing 
all  sin,  peace,  supi>lanting  all  enmity,  and  rebellion  against 
God  ;  joy,  removing  all  sorrow,  pure,  spiritual,  eternal 
joy.  0  what  will  heaven,  the  kingdom  of  God  above  un- 
fold, where  peace  will  flow  like  a  river,  and  righteous- 
ness as  the  waves  of  the  sea  ? 


234 


LIFE    AND    EXPKIUEN'CK    OF 


ift 


i; 

i  ^   ' 

j  ^  1 

■■y  " 


"  There  wc  sluill  hatlio  our  woury  pdiiI-j 
III  -cii*  (if  lii'iivi'iily  vo-t 
AikI  not  !i  \v;ivo  (if  trnnlilo  roll, 
AiMMss  our  [iriiccl'iil  broii.-t." 

2otJi.  —  It  U  our  Heavenly  Fatlicr's  good  pleasure  to 
give  us  the  kiugdoni.  All  the  prouiiscs  in  Christ  Jesus, 
'ire  yea  and  amen,  to  those  who  believe  in  him.  May  I 
enjoy  a  daily  manifestation  of  his  love,  that  I  may  drink- 
constantly  of  the  strej.ms  of  his  grace,  which  make  glad  the 
city  of  God. 

26fh-  — The  enemy  of  souls  is  very  hu^y,  and  having 
access  to  the  carn;i!lv-minded,  he  sets  them  to  work  to 
oppose  good,  slander  religion,  and  tlierehy  aiTect  and  injure 
weak  minds.  The  Lord  defends  his  own,  and  can  bring 
liiiht  out  of  darkness,  and  i^'ood  out  of  seeming  evil. 

"<?7^//.  —  llev.  E.  Wood  preached  from  Psalm  oO  :  1. 
"  I  will  extol  thee,  0  Lord  ;  for  ihou  hast  lifted  me  uj), 
and  hast  not  m.ide  my  foes  to  rejoice  over  me." 

1  can  with  propriety  unite  with  David  to  extol  the  mercy 
and  goodness  of  God,  that  when  many  times,  both  my  tem- 
poral and  sjiiritual  interests  have  been  opposed,  he  has 
made  a  wa}'"  for  my  escape.  I  have  learned  useful  lessons 
from  the  things  which  I  have  snftered,  and  hope  and  pray 
to  be  kept  humble  and  steadfast,  until  the  hour  of  my  de- 
parture, that  I  may  be  lifted  up  at  last,  to  mingle  my 
praises  with  the  blood-bought  throng  before  the  throne, 
forever,  and  ever. 

Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Ezek.  33  :  11.  "  Say 
unto  them,  As  I  live,  saith  the  Lord  God,  I  have  no  pleas- 
ure in  the  death  of  the  wicked  ;  but  that  the  wicked  turn 
from  his  way  and  live  :  turn  ye,  turn  ye  from  your  evil 
ways;  for  why  will  ye  die,  0  house  of  Israel  ?" 


i'l 


MR.^.    MAIIV    JMIADM'A'. 


Qn; 


This  sacrcfl  proclamntl)!!  is  very  cncoura^iris; ;  may  sin- 
ners  hear,  fear,  and  turn  to    ' .c  Lord.     Tl'.'ii, 


5arc  to 
Jesus, 
]\Iay  I 
r  drink 
lad  the 


liavhig 
ivork  to 
1  injure 
n  bring 

r>o :  1 . 

me  \\\), 

;  mercy 
nv  tern- 
he  has 
lessons 
|id  pray 
my  de- 
le my 
lirone, 

''  Say 

pleas- 

k1  turn 

lur  evil 


0  wliat  ii  j<i_\rul  iiK'C'tiiii;-  tliero 

lU'V'itiil  tlio-t'  ('liiin.i:in<j;  slimlos! 
AVliit(>  lire  'lie  riilic>  we  nil  shall  \vo;ir, 
And  crdwiis  tqidii  our  luvuls. 

!29^A.  —  Rev.    E.    Wood   preaehed    from   John   14:0. 


"  ][e  that  hath  seen  rae  hath  seen  the  Father." 

jNIay  I  entertain  clear  views  of  the  plan  of  salvation, and 
a  satisfactory  evidence  of  my  enjoyment  of  gospel  salvation. 
The  Lord's  truth  is  my  sliield  ami  buckler.  May  my  mind 
he  well  fortified,  and  my  hope  well  grounded. 

Jtdi/  1.  — I  praise  the  Lord  for  having  brought  me  thus 
far  on  my  heavenly  journey,  and  that  I  feel  encouraged  to 
press  on  toward  the  mark,  for  the  prize  of  my  high  calling 
of  God  in  Christ  Jesus. 

}Ja_y  the  Lord  look  mercifully  uyion  my  companion,  un- 
der all  his  infirmity  of  body  and  mind  ;  may  he  confide  in 
divine  willingness  and  ability  for  present  and  everlasting 
salvation,  and  may  his  momentary  aftlictions  work  out  f  jr 
Inm  a  fir  more  exceeding  and  eternal  weight  of  glory. 

•3'/.  —  '■  Why  should  my  foolisji  passions  rove  V 
Where  can  such  sweetness  bo, 
As  I  have  tasted  in  thy  love, 
As  1  have  found  in  thee  V  " 

May  I  never  forget  thy  mercies,  but  may  my 
heart  continually  glow  with  gratitude  and  love,  and  a 
warm  desire  for  tlie  increase  of  thy  kingdom  ;  bless  the 
missionaries  of  the  cross,  and  crown  their  labors  with  suc- 
cess, all  over  the  habitable  eartli  ;  that  many  souls  may 
be  born  of  God.     In  a  particular  manner,  bless  this  city  ; 


23G 


LIFE   AND    KXPERIKNCE    OF 


give  US  liearing  ears  and  understandiii;^  hearts  ;  and  pre- 
pare us  to  receive  tliv  holy  sacrament  to-morrow,  and  may 
tlie  woi'd  lull  with  irrosistilde  j)o\vcr  upon  the  lu'arts  of 
tliose  wlio  liear. 

4//!.  —  Tlie  religious  exercises  commenced  with  a  prayer 
meeting  at  six  in  the  morning. 

A  heavy  thunder-storm  Avith  lightning,  and  torrents  of 
rain,  continued,  and  detained  us  until  wq  retired  to  the 
chapel  at  11,  ■when  the  Rev.  J.  It.  Strong  preached  from 
Isaiah  12  :  1.  "0  Lord,  I  will  j)raise  thee  :  though  thou 
vast  angry  "with  me,  thine  anger  is  turned  away,  and  thou 
comfortedst  me. 

Blessed  be  the  Lord,  for  the  sweet  peace  of  mind  I  often 
feel,  the  blooming  hope  springing  up  in  my  soul  of  eternal 
rest. 

llev.  E.  ^Yc  h\  preached  from  Jer.  9:  21.  "But  let 
liim  that  ";lorieth  dorv  in  tliis,  that  he  understandeth  and 
knoweth  me,  tliat  I  am  the  Lord  which  exercise  loving 
kindness,  judgment,  and  righteousness  in  the  earth  :  for  in 
these  things  I  deliglit,  saith  the  Lord."  May  the  constant 
language  of  my  heart  be,  "  Whom  have  I  in  heaven  but 
tliee.  God  is  the  strength  of  my  heart  and  my  portion 
for  ever."  I  admire  and  adore  the  divine  bounty,  in  giv- 
ing the  Son  of  his  love  to  redeem  us  from  sin  and  misery  ; 
that  through  the  atonement  made,  God  can  justify  the  pen- 
itent believer  from  all  sin,  and  still  be  just ;  because  of 
mercy,  in  which  he  delights,  as  Avell  as  judgment  and 
righteousness,  Avhich  have  been  exercised  in  the  grand 
economy  of  saving  f;illen  man. 

6tJi.  —  This  evening  llev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from 
Titus  2  :  10.  "  That  they  may  adorn  the  doctrine  of  God 
our  Savior  in  all  things."     May  this  excellent  exhortation 


iu<l  pvo- 
:inil  may 
loarts  or 

a  prayer 

rronts  of 
3d  to  the 
hcd  from 
)\\<j\\  thou 
and  thou 

id  I  often 
)f  eternal 

"But  let 
iidcth  ami 
sc  lovin;^ 
th:  for  in 
c  constant 
;aven  but 
IV  portion 
;y,  in  giv- 
d  misery  ; 
Ty  the  pen- 
ecausc  of 
ment  and 


MRS.    MARY    i;  RAD  LEY. 


*>o  I 


he 


grano 


.1 


3hed  from 
|ne  of  God 
Ixhortation 


be  a  word  in  season  to  us  all :  that  \\c  may  live  sobcrlv, 
righteously,  and  godly  in  this  evil  world,  imitating  the 
iinital»le  perfections  of  the  adorable  Redeemer. 

0///.  —  How  many  are  thv  mercies  to  usward  ;  how  little 
return  do  we  make.  How  short  the  time  ;  how  swiftly  the 
moments  roll.  (),  may  I  improve  them,  and  employ  my 
talents  so  as  to  bo  ready  at  a  moment's  notice,  whenever 
the  summons  shall  come. 

lOfh.  —  How  mysterious  are  the  wavs  of  Providence. 
I  have  just  heard  of  the  sudden  death  of  a  young  woman, 
who  was  previously  in  usual  good  health  ;  but  droi)])ed 
down  and  instantly  cxjured.  This  is  the  third  sudden 
death  this  week.  May  these  solemn  warnings  be  duly  con- 
sidered. 

"  Iliipjty  tlio  souls  to  Josus  joined, 
And  siived  \>y  pnifc  alone  ; 
Wiilkinrcin  all  His  ways  tlicy  find 
'I'lieir  \i  uvea  on  earth  begun." 

11^/^ — This  morning  Mr.  A.  McLeod  preached  from 
Josh.  24 :  1.3.  "  Choose  ye  this  day  whom  ye  will  serve." 
"What  a  great  evil  is  indecision  ;  how  many  it  keeps  out  of 
the  ark  of  safety.  0,  that  every  individual  may  determine 
like  Joshua,  "  As  for  mo  and  my  house  we  Avill  serve  the 
Lord." 

Rev.  W.  Murray  preached  from  Isaiah  GO:  1.  "  Arise, 
shine,  for  thy  light  is  come,  and  the  glory  of  the  Lord  is 
risen  uj)on  thoe."  "What  is  there  so  desirable  to  the  eye 
as  light  ?  and  what  to  all  creation  so  animating  as  the  ravs 
of  the  sun  ?  and  what  so  desirable  to  an  awakened  con- 
science, as  the  light  of  God's  reconciled  countenance  man- 
ifested to  the  soul  ?  Our  blessed  Savior  came  a  light  into 
21 


238 


i-iri-:  AM)  i;\i'i;iai:Nti-:  of 


V. 


tlic  world,  tliat  whusoovor  IjcHuvctli  iii  liiin  should  not  wfdk 
iii  darkness  ;  Imt  should  liavo  the  li^dit  of  \\[\).  I  .lohii 
1  :  ."),  <),  7.  '"  This  then  is  tho  nicssa'^u  which  no  have 
heartl  of  hiin,  and  declare  unto  you,  that  (lod  is  li^ht,and 
in  him  is  no  darkness  at  all.  If  wo  say  that  wo  have  i'el- 
lowship  with  him,  and  walk  in  darkness,  wo  lie,  and  do  not 
the  truth  :  JJut  it'  wc  walk  in  the  lii^ht,  as  he  is  in  the  li.i^ht, 
wc  have  fellowshi[)  one  with  another,  and  the  blood  of 
Jesus  Christ  his  Son  cleansi'th  us  from  all  sin." 

Li^^ht  is  not  only  desiraldo,  hut  |trofitaMe;  as  no  reli- 
irion  can  he  eniovcMl  without  this  siiiritual  liifht.  Without 
the  natural  sini,  there  could  ho  no  permanent  livelihood 
{\)V  man  or  beast  ;  so  without  tho  sun  of  righteousness, 
there  could  bo  no  lile  or  consolation  in  the  sovds  of  men. 
The  admonition  of  the  text  is  given  to  tho  church  of  God, 
to  "  Arise  and  sliine,  for  her  light  is  come,  and  the  glory 
of  the  Lord  is  risen  upon  her."'  'i'he  pro[)hecy  was  ful- 
iilled  at  the  resurrection  and  ascension  of  our  blessed  Savior, 
and  when  tho  Holy  Spirit  fell  upon  the  apostles  and  those 
who  were  assembled  with  them.     It  was  a  glorious  dav. 

CD  y 

li)f/i.  —  The  Lord  has  been  shaking  his  rod  over  us  by 
threatenings  of  a  vcrv  serious  kind  ;  but  slionld  he  ^-ivc  us 
to  feel  the  heavy  stroke,  wc  must  subuiit  and  own  it  just ; 
for  wo  have  sinned  against  him,  and  have  provoked  him  in 
ten  thousand  v.ays,  and  acknowledge  our  sins  and  trans- 
gressions as  in  dust  before  him.  May  ho  remove  his  judg- 
ments and  }iardon  our  sins. 

\\Sth.  —  0  Lord,  how  groat  are  thy  mercies  to  us  un- 
Avorthv  creatures;  mavmv heart  be  raised  with  a  grateful 
sense  of  thy  goodness  ;  bo  merciful  to  our  unrlghtcoasncss, 
and  blot  our  sins  out  of  the  book  of  tliy  remembrance  ; 
give  us  faith  to  hang  witliout  fear  upon  thy  promises. 


y\n:<.  MAiiY   nuAiM.nv. 


li.'JO 


lot  wfilk 
I  John 
ivo  have 
;^ht,{iuil 
Kivc  icl- 
d  do  not 
lie  li.L^lit, 
jlood  of 

no  roli- 
WitliDut 
volihood 
ousnc3S, 
of  men. 
of  God, 
ho  'Aovy 
was  i'ul- 
l  Savior, 
id  those 
s  dav. 

T  US  by 
'  give  \u 

it  j\ist ; 
d  him  in 
d  ti-ans- 

lisjudg- 

U3  un- 
grateful 

oasucss, 
brance  ; 

>C3. 


ITM.  —  I*1oss(m1  be  the  Lord  for  anotlior  davof'f<un-«hino. 
(),  may  the  sun  of  liiiihteousnoss  arise  upon  our  souls,  witli 
healin:'  in  his  uiuirs  ;  niav  our  hearts  be  -warmed  ^vith 
his  love.  Prepare  me  for  the  duties  of  the  Sal)batli,  and 
ena1)le  me  profital)ly  to  hear,  digest,  and  remember  the 
^Vord. 

IS/Zf. — Mr.  A.  ]\reLeod  preached  from  Acts  3  :  10. 
"  Kejicnt  ye  therefore,  and  be  converted,  that  your  sins 
may  be  blotted  out,  when  the  titn<vs  of  refrc-^hing  shall 
come  from  the  ])rcsence  of  the  Loi^l." 

Kcv.  K.  Wood  preached  from  1  'Miess.  ."i :  17.  '■  i*ray 
without  ceasing.''  As  all  mankind  are  involved  in  a  state 
of  death  tcmiioral,  and  exposed  to  death  eternal,  by  reason 
of  disobedience  to  the  connnands  of  (jiod,  and  as  our  only 
remedy  is  by  the  ap[ilication  of  the  blood  of  Jesus  Christ, 
which  was  shed  upon  <,\Uvary  without  the  gates  of  Jerusa- 
lem ;  in  consid(.'ration  of  which  salvation  is  secured,  and 
offered  in  the  gospel,  the  invitation  is  issued  forth  frnm 
the  Lord  Jesus  to  a  dving  world,  A\ithout  money  and  with- 
out  jiricc.  Yet  there  arc  certain  conditions  to  be  observed 
on  our  ]  art :  jirayer  and  supplication  ;  ple;uling  with  Cod 
to  open  the  eyes  of  our  understanding,  and  to  discover  to 
us  our  lose  and  umlonc  condition  by  nature,  and  the  evil 
of  sin  ;  which,  if  not  repentcl  of,  will  exclude  us  from  the 
favor  and  kingdom  of  Cod  forever  ;  therefore  a  throne  of 
grace  is  erected,  and  unceasing  prayer  cnjohied.  "  Ask 
and  ye  shall  receive,  seek  and  ye  shall  find,  knock  and  it 
shall  Ik;  opened."  Faith  and  jjraycr  arc  the  weapons 
given  us  by  Avhicli  to  fight  the  good  fight,  and  finish  our 
course  Avith  joy,  and  obtain  the  crown  of  glory  which  shall 
never  fade  awav. 

We  have  not  only  the  command  of  Cod  to  pray  without 


240 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIEXCE   OF 


ceasing  ;  but  -wc  have  the  example  of  our  fiithers  and 
motliers  in  Israel,  who  successfully  performed  this  duty. 
Abraham  "vvas  a  man  of  prayer  :  "  And  the  Lord  blessed 
Abraham  in  all  things."  Isaac  was  a  man  of  prayer,  and 
God  renewed  his  promise  to  him.  Jacob  also  was  a  man 
eminent  for  prayer,  and  he  wrestled  with  God,  and  pre- 
vailed. jMoses  also  was  a  man  of  prayer,  who  talked  to 
the  Almighty  face  to  face,  as  a  man  talketh  with  his 
friend,  and  the  hand  of  God  was  with  him,  and  he  led  the 
children  of  Israel  through  the  wilderness,  until  he  came  in 
sight  of  the  promised  land.  Joshua  also  was  a  man  of 
prayer  all  his  days,  and  he  commanded  the  sun  to  stand 
still,  and  it  was  done,  and  his  resolution  was,  "  Let  others 
do  what  they  will,  as  for  me  and  my  house  we  will  serve 
the  Lord."  Elijah  was  a  man  of  prayer,  and  although  a 
man  of  like  passions  with  other  men,  yet  he  prayed  that  it 
might  not  rain,  and  it  rained  not  on  the  earth  for  the 
space  of  three  years  and  six  months.  The  Lord  is  nigh  to 
all  who  call  upon  him.  "  And  Jesus  spake  a  parable  to 
this  end,  that  men  ought  always  to  pray  and  not  to  faint." 
It  is  reasonable,  as  well  as  scriptural,  when  so  much  is 
pending. 

"  Tlie  prayin.f^  spirit  l^rcatho, 
Tlie  watcliiiipi;  power  impart; 
From  nil  iMitanglements  licMiOiith, 
Call  ofTmy  peaceful  heart." 


'XOtJi. — Praise  the  Lord  for  temporal  blessings;  five 
days  of  sunshine  in  succession  ;  how  this  clear  warm  weather 
calls  to  us  for  a  tribute  of  praise  to  Him,  from  whom  all 
blessings  flow. 

20th.  —  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Ps.  34  :  17. 


MRS.    MAKY     BRADLEY. 


241 


"  The  n;i;]itcoii3  cry  .and  the  Lonl  hearctli,  and  dellvcreth 
them  out  of  all  their  troul>le." 

A  ])enefactor  }ilaccd  in  autlionty,  whose  cars  are  always 
open  and  attentive  to  the  cries, -wants,  and  distresses  of  the 
afHicted,  is  a  friend  tliat  sticketh  closer  tlian  a  hrotlicr. 
How  it  woidd  rend  the  heart  of  a  teinler  parent,  to  licar  the 
groans,  si,u"hs,  and  pleadin;::  cries,  of  children  in  distressed 
circumstances,  and  had  it  not  in  his  power  to  relieve  them, 
\\'ould  lie  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  their  cries  ?  Xo,  surely  ;  can 
a  mother  foriiet  her  sucldiuLr  child  ?  Yes,  she  mav  for;i;ct, 
yet  will  I  remember  thee,  saith  the  Lord. 

It  would  be  well  to  consider  the  love  and  jaty  which 
influenced  om*  Redeemer  to  move  foi'ward  in  obedience  to 
his  Heavenly  Father,  to  put  himself  in  a  capacity  to  sufl'er 
the  penalty  of  a  broken  law  for  us,  that  we  might  be  freed 
from  the  curse. 


3 :  five 


"  The  Gtnl  of  Idvc,  to  ofirth  lio  (Mine, 
Tliiit  you  niiplit  come  to  Ih'iuch, 
P.t'licvo,  hclicvc  in  J<>sii>'  iiiiiiic, 
Ami  !ill  your  ^iiis  Ibrgivon." 

I  visited  Mrs.  Ray,  and  found  her  happy  in  the  Lord  ; 
spent  the  night  with  her  ;  it  Avas  a  cordial  to  my  mind,  to 
witness  the  gracious  dealings  of  CJod  uith  her  soul  ;  her 
language  indicated  she  was  ripenmg  for  heaven.  Siic 
would  speak  in  short  sentences,  "  In  what  a  sweet  and 
liappy  frame  do  I  feel  I  My  soid  Is  fdled  with  joy  unspeak- 
able and  full  of  glory  I  AVhat  a  ha}i]iiness,  to  be  a  follower 
of  the  meek  and  lo-wly  Jesns  I  0,  I  feel  that  the  precious 
blood  of  Christ  hath  washed  away  all  my  sins,  and  soon  I 
shall  be, 

"  Far  from  a  world  of  p-riof  nml  sin, 
With  God  eternally  shut  in." 

2V 


242 


LIFE   AND    EXPEIVIKNCE    OF 


It  had  been  for  some  time  expected,  that  everj  day  would 
have  ])een  her  last  :  however,  she  revived,  and  went  out 
several  times,  and  continued  in  a  lingering  state,  better  and 
worse, in  a  happy  state  of  mind, until  June  U),  1881,  when 
in  the  full  triumph  of  faith,  she  departed  this  life,  in  the 
35th  year  of  her  age. 

In    the  last  attack  of  her  disorder,  she  exclaimed,  ''  0 

happy  woman  I    I  am  going,  my  days  are  ended.  0  death 

where   is  thy  sting  ?    0  grave,   where   is   thy   victory  V 

Thanks  be  to  God,  who  givetli  us  the  victory,  through  our 

Lord  Jesus  Christ.     Blessed  are  the  dead,  who  die  in  the 

Lord,  yea  saith  the   spirit,  that  they  may  rest  from  their 

labors." 

0  that  such  a  happy  lot  may  be  mine  ;    that  I  may  live 

the  life  and   die  the  death  of  the   righteous,  and  that  my 

last  end  may  be  like  hers. 

2'1/A.  —  Wiien  I  cons'der  the  goodncs?  and  mercy  which 
liave  followed  me  through  life  ;  what  shall  I  render  to  the 
Lord  for  all  his  mercies  ?  But  when  I  consider  my  own 
life,  marked  with  so  many  imperfections  and  blunders  ;  if 
the  Lord  were  strict  to  mark  my  misdoings,  and  deal  with 
me  accordingly,  I  could  not  stand  justified  before  him  : 
but  glory  be  to  his  holy  name,  that  he  has  found  out  a 
ransom,  and  laid  help  upon  one  who  is  mighty  to  save. 

The  Lord  look  in  tender  j)ity  upon  my  afliicted  companion  ; 
sanctify  his  afflictions,  and  apply  the  virtue  of  thy  precious 
blood,  a  healing  balm  to  his  soul  ;  that  he  may  feel  the 
joy  of  [lardoning  love  spring  up  in  his  heart,  and  be  willing 
to  suffer  all  thy  righteous  will. 

25M.  —  Rev,  E.  AVood  preached  from  1  John  3  :  3. 
"  And  every  man  that  hath  this  hope  in  him,  purifieth 
himself  even  as  he  is  pure."  Purity  and  holiness  signify 
the  same  thing. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


243 


In  the  evening,  I  was  detained  from  the  house  of  God, 
on  account  of  my  husband's  indisposition,  who  was  taken 
ill  on  Saturday  night.  AVhcn  Dr.  ]>ayard  was  sent  for, 
he  said  inflannnation  had  set  in,  and  means  were  used  to 
prevent  mortification. 

26th.  — Mr.  Ji.  is  a  little  easier,  but  verv  weak.  As  I 
know  not  what  God  has  designed  iu  the  order  of  his  provi- 
dence for  us,  I  trust  he  will  give  us  patience  under  the 
affliction  ;  and  if  he  sees  fit  to  cut  off  my  earthly  comfort,  I 
can  but  own  it  just,  as  his  strokes  have  been  fewer  than 
my  sins,  and  lighter  than  my  deserts.  May  he  have  clear 
views  of  the  way  of  righteousness,  and  partake  largely  of 
the  blessing  of  gospel  salvation. 

21(h.  —  I  continue  to  labor  under  suspense,  and  great 
anxietv  of  mind,  concerniniz  mv  dear  companion.  I  know 
the  T  rd  will  do  right,  and  if  he  sees  fit  to  call  him  from 
thio  ■  f  tears,  I  trust  it  will  be  to  share  the  heavenly 

rest,  "  ..ic  the  inhabitants  shall  not  say,  they  are  sick. 

2Sf/i.  —  I  thank  the  Lord  for  s]'aring  mercy,  and  some 
hope  of  recovery,  as  the  inilammation  is  rather  checked.  I 
hope  this  dangerous  attack  will  stimulate  every  power  and 
faculty  of  the  soul,  to  attain  a  preparation  to  meet  the  Lord, 
in  the  first,  second,  or  third  watch. 

^dtli.  —  Thank  the  Lord,  he  has  lengthened  out  the 
brittle  thread  of  life.  May  we  lay  passive  in  his  hand,  and 
know  no  will  but  his. 

»'30M.  —  I  have  much  to  be  thankfid  for;  my  husband  is 
in  a  fair  way  of  recovering  his  usual  health.  May  we  aim 
at  the  divine  glorv  in  all  things. 

S\st.  —  Since  the  fifteenth  of  the  month,  the  wcatlier, 
for  the  season,  has  been  extremely  clear  and  warm,  most 
part  of  the  time.  How  favorable  is  this  for  the  agriculture 


•244 


LIFE    AXD    EXPKRTEXCE    OF 


or  the  country.  Blo^s  mj,  ovon  mo  also,  0  my  Father, 
with  tlic  bles.-'hiirs  of  tlio  new  and  everlastinfi;  covenant  that 
I  may 

"  Trr:iil  tlli-   Wn'.-lil  hiMlflUll  my   I'l'i't, 

Ami  i'.H  till'  cui'tli  (vills  ;;'iiiiil  (iv  u-i'cat.'' 

]\ray  the  grand  enemy  of  my  soul  be  CMiqnered,  self- 
sub(hied,  the  reign  of  Divine  government  obeyed,  my  nn- 
Avorthy  petitions  answered,  fm*  myself,  my  husband,  rela- 
tives, religious  connections,  and  all  mankind,  for  the  alone 
sake  of  Jesus  Christ  my  Lord. 

AiujuHt  Int.  —  Detained  again  from  the  public  means  of 
grace.  May  the  refreshing  dews  of  heavenly  influence 
descend  upon  my  soul,  as  ruin  upon  the  meadows  newly 
mown,  that  I  may  cheerfully  travel  on,  with  songs  of  joy, 
the  church  of  the  first  born  to  join. 

Zd.  —  The  blessed  Jesus  was  a  man  of  sorrows,  and  ac- 
quainted with  griti,  which  he  bore  for  us.  Amazing  love  ! 
How  he  travelled  in  the  greatness  of  his  strength,  sneaking 
in  righteousness,  mighty  to  save. 

May  I  cast  my  care  upon  him,  for  the  body,  the  soul, 
the  church,  and  the  w^orld  ;  because  he  does  all  things  well. 

4ith,  —  This  evening's  paper  announced  the  death  of 
Ilis  Majesty  George  the  Fourth.  Thus  the  king  of  terrors, 
is  the  terror  of  kings  ;  laving  them  low,  like  the  poorest 
peasant.     ISo  discharge  in  this  war. 

i>t]i.  —  Praise  the  Lord,  for  the  refreshment  of  the 
body  by  sleep,  and  food,  and  for  the  comforts  of  the  soul 
])y  his  grace,  and  holy  word,  which  I  enjoyed  to-day,  while 
meditating  on  the  seventh  verse  of  the  flrst  of  Revela- 
tions :  "  Behold,  he  comcth  Avith  clouds  ;  and  every  eye 
shall  sec  him,  and  they  also  which  pierced  him  :  and  all 
kindreds  of  the  earth  shall  wail  because  of  him." 


MRS.    MAllY    BRADLEY. 


'2io 


the 
soul 
rhilo 
-ela- 


What  a  solemn  thought  ;  that  he  ^vho  was  once  a  habo 
in  Bethlehem,  persecuted,  sot  at  nought,  put  to  death  hy 
the  Jews,  will  ap{)ear  in  the  clouds,  with  thousands  of  his 
saints,  to  be  admired  in  all  those  Avho  believe. 

1th.  —  0  Lord,  I  return  thee  hearty  thanks  for  all  thy 
favors,  temporal  and  spiritual.  Prone  to  cling  to  my 
earthly  comforts,  and  loath  to  part  with  them,  though 
strength  according  to  my  day  is  promised.  May  1  sur- 
render my  little  all  to  thee  ;  little  indeed  that  I  have  a 
right  to  claim  as  my  own.  What  have  I,  that  thou  didst 
not  give  ?  Surely  then,  I  have  no  right  to  withhold,  when 
the  proper  ovrner  makes  the  demand.  To  give  up  myself, 
soul  and  body,  with  all  my  earthly  enjoyments,  is  but  my 
reasonable  service.  In  each  adverse,  as  prosperous  event, 
my  melting  Avill  must  passive  rest. 

Sth.  —  Once  more  privileged  with  an  opportunity  of  ap. 
pearing  in  the  house  of  prayer,  llcv.  E.  Wood  preached 
from  1  John  3:  1.  "Beliold  what  manner  of  love  the 
Father  hath  bestowed  upon  us,  that  we  should  be  called 
the  sons  of  God."  Love  forms  the  most  happy  union  that 
subsists  cither  in  heaven  or  on  earth  ;  it  is  the  very  es- 
sence and  fountain  from  which  all  our  domestic  and  rcli 
gious  comforts  arc  derived.  Love  to  God  and  man,  on  our 
part,  is  the  fulfilling  of  the  law.  I  pray  that  this  pure  love 
may  be  more  abundantly  shed  abroad  in  my  heart ;  that  I 
may  partake  more  largely  of  the  happiness  enjoyed  among 
the  inhabitants  of  the  upper  world,  and  that  I  may  possess 
an  abiding  witness  that  I  am  sealed  with  the  Holy  Spirit  to 
the  day  of  redemption. 

Qth.  —  I  bless  the  Lord  for  the  sweet  composure  of  mind 
I  enjoy  this  day,  and  for  Jesus  Christ  to  save  a  guilty 


24() 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIEXCK    OF 


■world ;  sinners  of  deepest  dve,  if  they  become  penitent, 
may  find  i)Urdon  through  the  merits  of  hi.s  blood.  I  thank 
thee  for  the  privilege  of  a  preached  gos})el,  and  the  many 
nicanj  of  gi'uco  I  enjoy  ;  prayer  meetings  and  class  meet- 
ings ;  important  helps  to  believers,  and  a  great  blessing  to 
cn(piiring  penitents. 

1^)l/i.  —  Thy  mercies  arc  new  every  morning  and  eve- 
ning, and  great  is  thy  faithfulness  towards  us,  thy  unwor- 
thy cicaturcs.  I  thank  thee  that  my  dear  companion  is 
S[)ared.  I  })ray  thee  to  prepare  both  him  and  mc  for  thy 
good  pleasure. 

l^tli.  —  ?^ray  I  cleave  closer  and  closer  continually  to 
him  whom  my  soul  loveth,  that  I  may  1)C  strengthened  by 
his  gracious  hand  to  ^vatch  and  }>ray,  for 

"  rronc  to  wamlor,  \,r,\;\  I  fc,.]  it, 
rniiit'  \n  lc:i\-('  tlic  (}>><[  I  love  ; 
IIcit'-  my  lu'arf,  0  take  and  soal  it, 
Seal  it  tor  tliv  courts  aliove." 


I  desire  to  cast  myself  at  the  feet  of  Jesus  ;  plead  his 
fulness,  worthiness,  fdthfulness,  and  trust  in  his  atonement 
for  acceptance  into  his  kingdom. 

12//!.  —  0  our  Uod,  be  [)leased  to  give  us  grace  and 
"wisdom,  and  an  understanding  heart ;  enlighten  our  minds 
in  the  knowledge  of  Christ,  and  renew  our  strength  that 
■we  may  mount  up  "with  Avings  as  eagles,  run  and  not  be 
■wearv,  walk  and  not  ftiint. 

loth.  —  "What  a  solemn  thought  that  every  idle  word 
•we  speak,  nnist  be  accounted  for  at  the  day  of  judgment : 
"  Wherefore  seeing  that  all  these  things  shall  be  dissolved, 
■what  manner  of  persons  ought  we  to  bo,  in  all  holy  conver- 


.Mils.  MAUV  i;kadj.i:v 


24' 


sation  and  godliness."     May  avc  gird  up  the  loins   of  our 
mind,  be  sober,  and  watch  unto  the  end. 


uig  to 


"  JldW  >[\\\'  iiiui  .-cc'uri'  ;irr  lli''y, 

^\'lll)  (Ul   t!l('   Li'iMul   Slu'lilicril   l-i'ly  ; 

Ho  pivos  tlu'iii  out  strcnutli  I'nr  tlair  day, 
And  evil  they  never  sluiU  see." 

1-1///.  — Anotlier  day  is  gone,  and  -we  arc  yet  ahvc.  0, 
may  "we  live  to  thy  ghj'  '  !ind  whether  our  time  be  lung  or 
short,  devoted  to  'y  Se  'jc,  and  ourselvc.  ^-.epared  for 
thy  right  hand. 

l')th.  —  The  Lord  bless  the  assemblies  of  his  peo})le  to- 
day ;  may  the  ministers  l>e  clothed  with  righteousness  ; 
their  hearts  indite  irood  matter  ;  their  ton'j;ues  as  the  i)en 
of  a  ready  writer  ;  their  words  go  from  the  heart  and  reach 
every  heart  under  the  soiuid  tliereof,  and  as  good  seed, 
sown  ujMJU  good  ground,  spring  up  and  bring  forth  to  the 
honor  and  'Aory  of  thv  i.n"eat  name.  IjIcss  those  who  are 
indisposed,  and  not  able  to  attend  public  means  ;  be  better 
than  means  unto  them.  iNlav  tliv  lovelv  iuiaifc  be  en- 
stamped  on  my  heart,  and  the  breathings  of  my  soul  a 
constant  jiantir.g  afcer  tliy  likeness  ;  that  sin,  Satan,  and 
my  stubborn  will  mav  1)C  bv  irrace  complotelv  conquered. 
I  desire  cheerf all  v  to  submit  to  the  arran'j;ements  of  Prov- 
idence,  and  if  a'i;rceable  to  thv  liolv  will,  rebuke  the  disor- 
der  I  feel  creeping  on  me,  and  restore  me  to  wonted 
health.  This  evening  I  sat  under  the  divine  shadow  with 
great  delight,  and  the  frnit  was  sweet  to  my  taste,  while 
llcv.  E,  Wood  preached  from  llov.  1 :  10.  '•  I  was  in  the 
Spirit  on  the  Lord's  day."  John  Avas  the  beloved  disci- 
ple, and  was  favored  with  the  privilege  of  literally  leaning 
upon  the  Savior's  1)rcast,  when  he  Avas  on  earth  ;  con^e- 


248 


LIFE   AND    EXl'ERIll.NXE   OF 


qucntly  lie  was  more  hated  by  the  enemies  of  Clirist,  who 
persecuted  him  and  sou;^ht  liis  hfe  ;  he  was  accused  be- 
fore tlie  Emj)eror  Domitian  of  Ijoing  a  public  subverter  of 
the  established  reli^^iou  of  the  em))ire,  being  conveyed  in 
chains  to  Jlomc,  by  the  decree  of  this  barbarous  tyrant. 
lie  was  thrown  into  a  caldron  of  boiling  oil,  but  the  Lord 
was  pleased  in  a  miraculous  manner  to  preserve  him. 
"What  an  evident  mark  that  those  who  trulv  love  the  Lord, 
are  willing  to  suftcr  for  his  sake,  and  how  evident  it  is, 
that  he  does  not  forget  tlie  labors  and  sufferings  of  his 
children.  Our  blessed  Savior  was  pleased  to  reveal  him- 
self to  this  eminent  disciple  after  his  ascension,  in  a  most 
glorious  manner. 

2'2d.  —  0  Lord,  thou  knowest  my  down-sitting,  and  my 
\ip-rising,  and  art  acquainted  Avith  all  my  ways.  Thou 
knowest  the  exercise  of  my  mind,  and  the  weight  of  anx- 
iety which  presses  upon  me,  for  the  salvation  of  thy  ser- 
vant. As  far  as  the  east  is  from  the  west,  remove  his 
transgressions  from  him.  ]\Liv  the  eve  of  his  mind  be  fixed 
upon  the  great  atonement,  that  he  may  be  justified  by 
faith,  and  draw  living  water  with  joy  from  the  wells  of  sal- 
vation. 

23c?.  —  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  the  comforts  of  the  past 
day.  He  who  keeps  Israel  neither  slumbers  nor  sleeps  ; 
but  watches  over  and  directs  all  the  affairs  of  individuals 
and  nations.  The  funeral  procession  of  George  the  Fourth 
has  been  exhibited  to-day ;  may  Iiis  successor  rule  in 
righteousness  as  well  as  in  power,  and  be  a  nursing  father 
to  the  nation  ;  allow  liberty  of  conscience,  that  every  one 
may  worship  under  his  own  vine  and  fig-tree  witliout  fear. 

^•ith.  —  The  coronation  of  Kin«;  William  has  made  a 


MRS.    MARY    KRADLKY. 


249 


t,  ^vllo 
Hid  bc- 
rtcr  of 
ycd  ill 
tyrant, 
c  Lord 
c   him. 
3  Lord, 
it  it  is, 
I  of  his 
al  him- 
a  most 


and  my 

Thou 

of  anx- 


hv  scr- 

ovc  his 

3C  fixed 

ed  hy 

of  sal- 


IV 


ic  past 
sleeps  ; 
iduals 
Four  til 
rule  in 
I  father 
3ry  one 
Lit  fear. 

nadc  a 


part  of  the  various  transactions  of  tlio  iidiahitants  of  tho 
city.  It  was  announced  in  the  love-feast  this  evening,  that 
Rev.  E.  Wood  had  received  his  appointnie'it  to  return  to 
St.  Kitts.     I  feel  much  for  him. 

26(11.  —  Another  day  is  gone  into  eternity,  -with  a  true 
account  of  all  things  that  are  done  under  the  sun.  When  I 
consider  the  extent  of  judgment,  my  thoughts,  »^'ords,  and 
deeds,  ^vith  all  my  privileges  and  talents,  moral  and  reli- 
gious reijuiremcnts,  I  am  ready  to  say.  How  shall  I  stand 
before  a  God  so  pure,  wise,  and  righteous  ?  I  could  not 
answer  for  one  of  a  thousand  of  my  offences  ;  but 

"Jesus'  blood,  tlirouah  earth  nml  skies, 
^leiry  fire,  hininiUess  lueiry  cries." 

His  soul  for  my  soul,  his  body  for  my  body,  he  has  borne 
my  pain,  shame,  and  sorrow,  and  by  his  stripes  I  am 
healed.  He  was  crowned  with  thorns,  that  I  might  be 
crowned  with  ^lorv. 

Augii4  'lOth,  LSoO.  —  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from 
Job  23  :  10.  "  Rut  he  knoweth  tlie  wav  that  I  take  : 
When  he  liath  tried  mo,  I  shall  come  forth  as  gold." 

Whom  the  Lord  loveth  he  chasteneth,  and  scourgcth 
every  son  whom  he  rcceiveth. 

Notwithstanding  Job's  trials,  he  mildly  observed,  "  Shall 
we  receive  good  at  the  hand  of  the  Lord,  and  not  evil  ?  " 

Our  blessed  Lord  said  it  was  through  much  tribulation 
we  should  enter  the  kingdom.  Thcrefurc  we  may  safely 
conclude,  that  sanctified  afflictions  are  Vossings  in  dis- 
guise. 

Rev.  S.  JoU  preached  from  Job  14  :  10.     "  But  man 
dieth  and  wastethaway,  yca,man  givcth  up  the  ghost,  and 
where  is  he? " 
22 


250 


LIFE   AND    i:XPi:UIl,Ni.'M    OF 


Mankind  beln,i:;  ;:^cncrally  convinced  that  they  must  die, 
renders  it  nnnecessary  to  prove  tlie  fact  :  but  to  ))riu^  cer- 
tain truths  to  view,  in  order  to  iuijiress  tlic  mind  \villi  the 
su)»ject.  J)cath,  when  e<»rnuiissioned,  will  take  no  denial, 
or  any  excuse  whatever  :  Jle  will  not  he  hiihed  tor  silver, 
nor  ^"old,  nor  lor  a  kingdom,  lie  will  not  be  conquered 
by  stren;_'th,  by  eunnin;^,  nov  by  lli,L:ht.  He  will  not  be 
daunted  by  the  poor,  nor  the  rich,  nor  the  great  men  of 
the  eartli  ;  for  what  mean  these  emblems  of  mourning? 
"Why,  death  lias  been  making  his  ravages,  and  boldly  as- 
cended the  throne  of  our  I'ightful  sovereign,  pointed  his 
dart,  and  he  has  fell  a  victim  !  Alas,  kings  and  all 
the  nobles  of  the  land  must  die,  as  avoH  as  those  of  the 
least  notice,  for  death  is  no  respecter  of  persons. 

Look,  O  Lord,  in  tender  pity,  upon  all  ranks,  and  con- 
ditions of  mankind  ;  solemnly  im})ress  their  minds  with  a 
sense  of  their  condition,  that  they  must  exist  in  happiness 
or  misery  to  all  eternity,  and  assist  them  to  work  out  their 
salvation,  through  faith  in  the  blood  of  the  Lamb,  who  hath 

"  Spent  his  life,  and  spilt  lii^-  lilood, 
To  liriii::  u<  rebels  iiear  to  (Jod." 


ol.s"^  —  llov.  S.  Joll  ])rcached  from  Psalm  23  :  1-4. 
"  Tlie  Lord  is  my  shepherd  ;  I  shall  not  want. 

"  lie  makutli  me  to  lie  down  in  the  green  pastures  :  ho 
leadeth  me  beside  the  still  waters. 

"  He  restoreth  my  soul  :  he  leadeth  me  in  the  paths  of 
riLrhteousness  for  his  name's  sake. 

"  Yea,  though  I  walk  through  the  valley  of  the  sliadow 
of  death,  1  will  fear  no  evil  :  for  thou  art  with  me  ;  thv 
rod  and  thy  staff  they  comfort  mc." 


MKS.    .MARY    UUADLKV. 


2ol 


tScj'tcmUr  \.st,lSoO.  —  'ihis  day,  I  am  sixty  years  of 


a,L,'e. 


How  nuinorous  aro  t!iy  mercies,  0  Lird  ;  if  I  wuuM 
declare  and  s|icak  of  them,  tiiey  are  mure  than  can  he 
nnmhercd.  W'liat  returns  can  1  make  to  thee  fur  such 
favors  'r  iSurely  goodness  and  mercy  have  folK)Wcd  mc  all 
the  days  of  my  life. 

Tliou  hast  made  nie  t!iy  peculiar  caro  frora  my  youth 
up,  and  even  to  old  a-(«,  thy  hand  has  hcen  with  me,  to 
hlcss  me  in  my  haskct  and  st(-re,  with  kind  friends  and  a 
^.^oodly  hcrila-v.  My  soul  has  bt-en  hivorcd  wilh  m;iny 
religious  privileges,  spiritual  consolalions,  and  hajipiness, 
such  as, 

"  The  world  csiii  ii'ltlior  ^ivo  or  (k'^tmy, 
Tlu'  lic;irt-l'i'lr  >uiisliiije, 
Tlie  siiulV^  ('ull  Jiiy." 

-1//'.  —  I  !!ni  another  Avcek's  journey  near  my  eternal 
home.  I  would  interrogate  my  own  heart  :  Am  1  another 
week's  journey  nearer  to  my  llcavenly  Father's  kingdom  ? 
i)o  I  feel  a  hright  evidence  of  my  acceptance  ?  AVIiat  is 
the  gromid  of  uiy  ho|)c  ?  Help  me  to  examine  myself; 
search  my  heart  to  the  bottom  ;  give  me  a  true  discovery 
of  myself,  that  I  may  lean  Ufion  no  arm  hut  thine;  destroy 
all  self-dc}  endence,  lukewarmness,  and  dead  fornudity. 

htli. — Jlev.  Jv.  Williams  preached  from  John  T  :  o7. 
"  In  the  last  day,  tliat  great  day  of  the  feast,  Jesus  stood 
and  cried,  saying.  If  any  man  thirst,  let  him  come  unto  mc 
and  drink." 

Rev.  S.  JoU  preached  in  the  evening,  from  Psalm 
2:12.  "  Kiss  the  Son,  lest  he  be  angry,  and  yc  perish 
from  the  way." 


252 


l.IFK    AM)    KXPKKIKNC'K    OF 


Lord  ]>1(!SJ?  mo  tlii-;  dav  with  the  tokens  of  thy  love  ; 
iniiy  I  read  my  tilhi  clear,  to  ^^dorious  mansion?}  in  the  sky. 
I  would  not  ;.'n)vel  on  earth,  like  thos  elittle  in.scct.s  which 
arc  afraid  of  the  lii^ht  ;  l)ut  soar  aloft  like  the  ca;^le  ;  the 
lii,L;hcr  she  rises,  the  greater  her  delight,  because  she  feels 
the  warming  influence  of  the  sun. 

^th.  — Lord  enahle  mo  to  olfcr  a  tribute  of  praise,  for  thy 
sparing  mercies,  though  I  am  utterly  unable  to  make  suit- 
able returns  :  but  thio  is  my  comfort  and  hope,  tliat  when 
I  shall  SCO  thee  as  thou  art,  thou  wilt  enable  me  to  praise 
tliee  as  I  ought. 

"  Wliat  tlifuiks  I  owo  tlioo,  Jind  wliat  lovo  ! 
A  l)iiiiiiillt'>s,  ciiilless  store, 
Sliall  ccIk)  tlin)ii;;h  tlio  roaliiis  above, 
Wlu'ii  time  sliall  be  no  more." 


10///.  —  0  Lord,  enable  me  to  ju'csont  my  petition  in 
such  a  spirit  of  faith,  and  frame  of  mind,  that  thou  wilt 
hear  and  answer  my  prayer. 

Thou  knowest  the  anxiety  of  mind  which  I  feel  for  the 
salvation  of  that  jirecious  soul ;  break  the  snare  of  Satan, 
enable  him  to  repent,  believe  on  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and 
set  his  soul  at  liberty  ;  make  him  happy  in  thy  love,  give 
him  a  comi)lete  victory  over  the  world,  the  flesh,  and  the 
devil.  Let  him  not  go  down  to  his  grave  in  his  sins, since 
Jesus  hath  died  to  save  ;  pluck  him  as  a  brand  from  the 
burning,  and  save  his  soul  from  everlasting  misery. 

Have  pity  upon  all  mankind  ;  may  they  fly  to  Jesus  as  a 
cloud,  and  as  doves  to  their  windows. 

12fh.  —  Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Ps.  31  :  19. 
"  Oh  how  great  is  thy  goodness,  which  thou  hast  laid  up 


MILS.    .MAIIV     J;ilAl)i.i:Y. 


'2r>^ 


lor  tlu'iu  tliiit  four  tliee  ;  which  tliou  hast  wrought  lor 
thetn  that  tnist  in  thoo  heforo  tlio  S!jii,-<  of  men  !  " 

Ilt'v.  ;<.  JoU  itiviichod  from  Prov.  4:7.  "  Wisdom  is 
the  |itiiicij>;il  thiin';  ihoivforc  ^et  \vi.s(h)m." 

Tlio  Lord  en;il)l'.'  us  to  receive  this  proHtuMc  instruction, 
Willi  mucli  in-iititudo  to  tlie  autlior  of  \vi.sdom,  and  seek  it 
with  all  e)ur  hearts. 

"If  any  man  lack  v.isdom,  l.'t  him  ask  it  of  (Jod,  wlio 
^iveth  to  all  men  liherally,  and  u[i1)raidet!i  not."' 

The  he_:;iimin'j;  of  wisdom  is  the  f-arof  the  Lord,  and  to 
depart  from  evil  is  under.standiii^i^. 

Give  us  that  wisdom  which  comctli  down  fron:  ahcvo, 
thai;  U  peaceahle,  pure,  identic,  easy  to  he  euLreatetl,  full 
oi'  mcrc7,  and  iroi^d  fruits.  Mav  wc  emhracc  and  lovo 
thee  contimiallv,  have  a  simile  eve  to  thv  dorv',  continue 
instant  in  prayer,  act  fiitli  u[>on  the  })reeiou3  prc^misos, 
feed  upon  divine  truth  with  avidity  ;  in  so  doing,  we  should 
escape  many  snares  and  tem{)tation.s,  for  Satan  cannot  en- 
dure a  prayinii;  heart,  warm  with  the  lovo  of  God  ;  ho 
comes  to  tempt  ;  hut  this  spirit  of  (h'votion  disarms  him. 

May  we  he  so  arnu'd  with  rigliteousiicss,  hoth  on  tho 
right  hand  and  on  the  K'ft,t]iat  we  may  jMit  to  Hightail  our 
spiritual  foes,  througli  him  who  loved  ns,  and  gave  himself 
for  us. 

Heard  this  mornins:  of  the  melancholv  ^tatc  into  which 
France  is  thrown  bv  a  rebellion. 

May  those  who  survive  tliC  dreadful  slaughter,  seek 
that  wisdom  which  will  enable  them  to  sjuido  their  alfairs 
with  discretion,  Avalk  in  the  paths  of  virtue,  and  live  in 
peace  and  quietness  on  the  earth. 

I  thank  the  Lord  for  his  kindness  to  my  dear  compan- 


22 


oo* 


254 


LIFE    AXD    EXPERIE.VCK    OF 


ion,  who  lias  walkeil  with  me  to  tlie  house  of  prayer  to-day, 
the  fii'st  time  .since  his  protracted  sickness. 

14:th.  —  Was  iletaiucd  at  the  loaders'  meeting  to  hear 
Rev.  J.  ]j.  Strong  account  for  some  dilficnlties  which  had 
arisen  cut  of  the  aj)pointment  of  l?ov.  S.  Joll,  from  the 
West  Indies,  to  this  circuit,  Rev.  E.  Wood  being  unwill- 
ing to  return  to  the  West  Indies ;  ))ut  concluded  to  take 
liis  departure  for  London,  to  arrange  the  matter  with  the 
Missionary  counnittce.  May  love  to  God  and  precious 
souls,  he  the  ruling  princi})le,  and  the  advancement  of  the 
divine  ;:lorv,  the  constant  aim  of  these  eminent  ministers 
of  tlic  Lord  Jesus,  in  all  their  movements,  that  many  souls 
may  be  saved  through  their  instrumentality. 

18^//.  —  Another  week  is  forever  gone  into  eternity.  0, 
liow  many  have  been  the  blunders,  and  short-comings,  and 
wanderings  of  mind  and  heart,  in  attcni})ting  to  walk  in  the 
narrow  way  which  leads  to  eternal  life.  May  the  work  of 
grace  be  deepened  in  my  heart,  and  my  soul's  capacity 
more  enlarged  to  admire  and  adore  thee,  and  may  I  have 
the  ha})pincss  to  see  every  member  of  my  classes  flourish 
like  a  green  bay  tree. 

VdlJi.—  UQv.  S.  Joll  preached  from  Phil.  2:5.  "  Let 
this  mind  be  in  you,  which  was  also  in  Christ  Jesus." 
Rev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  1  Peter  4:7.  "  But 
the  end  of  all  things  is  at  hand,  be  yc  therefore  sober,  and 
watch  unto  prayer."  Praise  the  Lord  for  his  precious 
gospel  ;  it  is  to  my  soul  like  the  dew  descending  on  Mount 
Hermon ;  the  sound  of  it  is  delightful.  I  recall  those 
times  at  an  early  period  of  life,  when  divine  truth  made  a 
deep  impression  on  my  heart,  before  I  enjoyed  the  ^jrivilege 
of  hearing  it  from  the  pulpit.  May  I  constantly  hunger 
and  thirst   afcer  righteousness,  mo'^kness,  and  purity  of 


MRS.    MARY    LRADLEY. 


255 


"Let 


heart.  *'  Blessed  are  the  pure  in  heart,  for  they  shall  see 
God." 

What  suitable  admonitions  in  the  Word  of  God  arc 
given  unto  us,  vfho  are  so  prone  to  wander  from  the  paths 
of  virtue  ;  how  important  the  duties  of  sobriety,  watchful- 
ness, and  prayer  ;  particularly,  as  at  a  moment's  warning 
we  may  be  called  to  appear  before  our  Judge,  to  account 
for  th<^  deeds  done  in  the  body  ;  and  "  Except  a  man  be 
converted,  and  born  again,  he  cannot  enter  into  the  king- 
dom of  heaven." 

0  Lord,  enable  us  to  listen  to  thy  warning  voice  ;  im- 
press upon  our  minds  the  imj)ortancc  of  a  preparation  for 
eternity.  Help  us  to  overcome  all  lightness  of  spirit,  fool- 
isli  talking  and  jesting,  which  arc  so  injurious  ;  vain,  worldly 
amusements,  however  pleasing  to  the  carnal  mind,  but  so 
frequently  forbidden  in  the  Word  of  God  ;  fur  this  reason 
the  end  of  all  things  is  at  hand.  The  rich  man  said  to 
himself,  "•  Soul,  thou  hast  much  goods  laid  up  for  many 
years,  take  thine  ease,  eat,  drink,  and  be  merry."  But  wluit 
Avas  the  answer  of  God  to  him  ?  "  Thou  fool,  this  night 
thy  soul  shall  be  recpiired  of  tlioc."  At  so  great  a  risk, 
may  we  shun  such  egregious  folly  ;  but  may  we  imitate 
t'aosc  who  through  faith  and  patience  inherit  the  promises 
of  God,  and  follow  on  to  know  him,  whom  to  know  is  eter- 
nal life. 

O,  my  adorable  Savior,  what  shall  I  render  unto  thee 
for  all  thy  benefits  ?  AVhat  returns  can  such  an  unworthy 
creature  make  unto  thee,  for  such  love,  mercy,  and  good- 
ness ?  ]Ljw  can  I  sulHciently  prize  the  blessed  hope  of 
one  day  beholding  thee  in  thy  glory  ? 


irity  of 


"  0,  Avritc  the  pivnloii  on  my  lieurt, 
That  whenso'cr  I  hence  depart, 
I  may  depart  in  peace."' 


2.50 


TJl'K   AND    EXPElllhXCE    OF 


^21.s.^._Kev.  S.  Joll  preachca  from  Psalm  11 D:  1(4. 
"T  iiiii  tliino,  save  me."  I  recognize  tlic  cxalle<l  privilc^L^c, 
and  nrgc  the  precious  claim.  I  am  tliine.  by  creation, 
preservation,  reilemption,  and  adoption.  I  joyi'ully  surren- 
der mvself,  soul,  body,  and  spirit,  unto  God,  throuLih  faith 
in  -Jesus  Christ  om-  Lord,  that  he  may  save  mc  from  ail 
sin.  Save  me  in  the  hour  of  death,  at  the  day  of  jud;::- 
ment,  and  to  all  cternitv. 

2<)/'//.  —  Rev.  J.  ]>.  Strong  preached  from  John  0  :  '!"[ . 
"  AVill  ye  also  be  his  disciples  ?  "  Showed  the  meaning  of 
the  term  discij/le,  a  scholar  ;  the  place  of  a  scholar  at  the 
feet  of  his  master  ;  what  it  was  to  be  a  discii'le  of  Jesus 
Christ,  to  enlist  under  his  banner,  renounce  all  unrighte- 
ousness, take  Christ  for  our  prophet,  priest,  and  king,  deny 
ourselves,  take  uj)  the  cross,  follow  hini  closely  and  laith- 
fullv  ;  take  his  yoke,  for  it  is  easv,  and  his  burden  tbr  it 
is  light.  To  be  taught  in  his  school  the  lessons  of  divine 
truth,  love,  peace,  joy  ;  to  believe  all  his  doctrines,  obey 
his  commands,  and  walk  in  all  his  blessed  ways. 

To  the  question  propounded,  "  Will  ye  also  be  his  disci- 
ples ?  "  ]My  heart  replied,  Yes,  glory  be  to  (Jod,  I  am  his 
disciiile  ;  I  enlisted  under  his  banner  manv  vcars  a'lo,  and 
have  been  enabled  to  continue  to  the  [iresent  in  the  good 
and  right  -way. 

'The  subject  was  concluded  with  an  exhortation  to  those 
who  are  Christ's  to  be  more  faithful  in  his  blessed  cause  ; 
to  1)0  more  ■watchful  over  tliemselvcs,  that  thev  mav  rrow 
in  grace,  and  in  ti.>'  knowledge  of  our  Lord  and  Savior  ; 
be  more  dead  to  the  world  and  more  ripe  for  glory.  The 
youth  were  exhorted  to  turn  from  nature's  darkness,  fur- 


MRS.    MARY   URADLEY. 


257 


:   U4. 

.'ation, 
;ui'rc)i- 
li  iiiith 
nlll  nil 
f  judg- 

0:   27. 

ii'nig  of 
iit   the 

f  Jc'SUS 

fin;j;litc- 
f%  (lenv 
1.1  lallh- 

II  tor  it 
■  divine 


?s,  obey 


lis  disd- 
ain Lis 
'lo,  and 
lie  irood 

to  those 
cansG  ; 

IV  tirow 


sake  the  prince  of  darkness,  and  become  valiant  soldiers 
fur  Cliri.st ;  a^, 


ivior 
Tl 


10 


less,  Ivv- 


"  Voutli  is  tlip  tinio  to  servo  tlio  I.nril, 
Tiio  tiiinj  I')  iiHiiro  tliu  v;is;  luwiinl." 


Rev.  S.  Joll  preached  from  Matt.  13  :  3.  "Behold  a 
sower  went  forth  to  sow."  May  this  prove  a  seasonable 
admonition  to  many,  accompanied  to  the  heart  by  the  Spir- 
it's power,  that  we  may  take  heed  how  we  hear,  and  as  we 
have  received  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  so  to  walk  in  him; 
then  wc  shall  bring  forth  frnit  to  his  glory.  "  liaised  from 
a  death  of  sin  to  newness  of  life  in  Christ  Jesus,  having  an 
abiding  witness  of  our  acceptance  with  him." 

2\)th.  —  Rev.  J.  Jj.  Strong  preached  from  2  Cor.  13: 
5.  "  Examiric  yourselves,  whether  ve  be  in  the  faith." 
As  the  way  to  heaven  is  a  strait  gate,  and  narrow  way, 
attended  with  dangers  and  difhculties,  it  is  highly  necessary 
to  observe  the  important  duty  of  self-examination  ;  for 
without  faith  it  is  impossible  to  please  Cod. 

Now  the  question  is.  How  csm  I  know  that  I  am  in 
the  faith  ?  What  are  the  sure  marks  whereby  I  may 
certainly  know  that  I  have  that  true  and  savhig  faith  — 
that  I  may  trust  without  fear  of  coming  short  of  that  rest 
which  remains  for  the  ])eople  of  Cod  ? 

Our  blessed  Lord  has  said,  "  I  am  the  door  ;  by  mo  if 
any  man  enter  in  he  shall  be  saved,  and  shall  go  in  and 
out  and  find  pastin-c  :"  and  "  I  am  the  resurrection  and 
the  life,  he  that  believeth  in  me  though  he  were  dead  yet 
shall  he  live.  I  am  come  a  light  into  the  world  that  who- 
soever believeth  in  me  should  not  walk  in  darkness,  but 
have  the  light  of  life."  Saint  Paul  says,  "  Now  if  any 
man  be  in  Christ  he  is  a  new  creature,  old  things  are 


258 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


)cl  Ijoliold  all  thin: 


ne^ 


n 


II 


passed  away,  and  ijohold  all  thuja's  ar^  r  ccome 
those  truths  are  contained  the  entiance  into  the  church, 
its  jirovision,  salvation,  lii^'ht,  life,  and  happy  change. 
Love  is  the  I'ulfiilin;^  of  tlu^  law  ;  }i(M'f(>et  love  castetli  out 
le;ir.  All  those  blessin;^s  are  suspended  vipon  faith,  as 
their  condition  of  en joynnent ;  if  I  possess  them,  1  must 
know  it ;  for  he  that  believeth,  hath  the  Avitness  in  him- 
self. 

This  morning,  llcv.  E.  Wood  cmharked  for  England. 
The  Lord  bless,  preserve,  and  give  his  angels  charge  over 
him,  to  keep  him  in  all  his  ways.  May  he  enjoy  sweet 
peace  of  mind,  and  rest  upon  the  divine  jiromises  while 
upon  the  great  ocean  ;  find  favor  in  the  eyes  of  the  [ico- 
ple,  and  be  returned  to  us  again  in  perfect  peace  and 
safety. 

Oct.  8t7.  —  Rev.  S.  Joll  preached  from  Matt.  G:  0  — 14, 
inclusive  ;  being  the  Lord's  prayer.  May  the  admoni- 
tions given  this  morning  be  dulv  considered,  and  cordiullv 

*J  CD  «/  '  %/ 

embraced,  and  produce  a  gracious  influence  on  the  minds 
and  manners  of  all  who  heard  them.  Mr.  J.  said  pi-ayer 
ought  to  be  lively,  affectionate,  fervent,  and  short.  Long 
praying  is  a  bad  habit,  calculated  to  produce  coldness  and 
deadness  where  it  was  practised.  llev.  J.  B.  Strong 
preached  from  this  text :  "  The  Son  of  man  is  come  to 
seek  and  to  save  that  which  is  lost."  The  coming  of  tlie 
Son  of  man  to  save  lost  sinners,  is  the  ground  of  all  true 
happiness  enjoyed  by  mankind  in  this  world,  and  the 
theme  upon  which  they  will  delight  to  dwell  to  all  eter- 
nitv.  llev.  5:1*2:  —  "Worthy  is  the  Lamb  that  was 
slain,  to  receive  power,  and  riches,  and  v\isdom,  and 
strength,  and  honor,  and  glory,  and  blessing." 


MRS.    MARY    liRADLEV. 


*^59 


■."  In 
cluu'ch, 
^liangc. 
otli  out 
iitli,  as 
1  must 
in   liim- 

Ingland. 
•ge  over 
y  sweet 
?s  Avliile 
the  peo- 
acc  an<l 

;  9—14, 
admoni- 
3onliallv 
e  minds 
1  prayer 
.  ].()n^i^ 
ncss  ami 
J^tronLT 
conic  to 
i<r  of  tlie 
all  true 
anil  the 
all  ctcr- 
iliat  Avas 
om,   and 


10th.  —  Rov.  J.  r>.  Strong  preached  from  Nunil)er3 
14:  :24.  "  JJut  my  servant  Caleb,  because  he  had 
anotlicr  spirit  with  him,  and  hath  followed  mc  full  v,  him 
will  I  bring  into  the  land  whei'einto  he  went,  and  his  seed 
shall  possess  it."  The  lanvl  of  Canaan  is  a  figure  to  us 
of  our  heavenly  country.  The  evil  report  of  those  faint- 
hearted, rebellious  i)crson3,  shows  the  evil  spirit  with 
which  they  were  ins{)ired  :  and  if  we  f  jUow  their  exam- 
ple we  shall  never  enter  the  ncavenly  Canaan.  (),  how 
it  behoves  us  to  be  in  earnest,  lest  we  should  miss  of 
heaven,  lose  our  precious  souls,  and  be  cast  away. 

Rev.  S.  Joll  preached  from  Ilab.  8:  17.  "Althou^-h 
the  fig-tree  shall  not  blossom,  neither  shall  fruit  be  in  the 
vines  ;  the  labor  of  the  olive  shall  fail,  and  the  fields 
shall  yield  no  meat ;  the  flock  shall  be  cut  off  from  the 
fold,  and  there  shall  be  no  herd  in  the  stalls;  yet  I  will 
rejoice  in  the  Lord,  I  will  joy  in  the  God  of  my  salva- 
tion." A  blessed  example  of  faith,  and  encouragement 
to  put  our  trust  in  God  at  all  times,  and  especially  in 
times  of  outward  afllietions,  of  scarcity,  and  want  of  food 
and  raiment. 

12//,!. — ]\ev.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Ilab.  8  :  2. 
"  0  Lord,  i-evivc  thy  work."  The  world  was  made  in  six 
days,  but  the  work  of  grace  may  increase  until  the  end 
of  life.  It  ought  to  be  our  constant  prayer,  as  it  was  ex- 
pressed by  the  prophet,  "  0  Lord,  revive  thy  work." 

"  Ilow  sweot  the  name  of  Jesus  sounds 
'I'd  11  lirlicvcr's  ears  , 
It  -n(itli(>s  his  sorriiw-,  he!\l.s  liis  woumls, 
And  w  :p's  away  hi^  tears." 


lijtJi.  — I  thank  the  Lord  for  his  lovin;;  kindness  and 


200 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIEXrR   OF 


tender  mercies  toward  us   another  week. 
coUImcss  and  indlffercncy. 

"  \Vli\'  sliiiiiM  my  fiKili-*!)  ])i-;-ii(>ris  rovo  ? 
Wlicro  can  such  -wcctiioss  be, 
As  I  liav(!  lii^toil  in  tliy  love  — 
As  1  have  fnund  in  thoe  V  " 


Pardon  cir 


)'; 


,1 


'*  0  Lord,  cnlarpc  my  scanty  tliouj^lit, 
To  know  tlic  \vr)ihlers  tliou  liast  wrought  ; 
Thy  love  hnniense,  unse.nvlialdf, 
Who  didst  between  tlie  cherubs  dwell." 

17th.  —  Rev.  A.  McLeod  preached  from  Luke  11  :  1o, 
"  If  ye  then,  being  evil,  know  •  ow  to  give  good  gifts 
unto  your  children,  how  much  more  shall  your  heavenly 
Father  give  the  Holy  S})iiit  to  them  that  ask  him." 

Rev.  S.  JoU  preached  from  Matt.  25:  1  —  13.  "  Tlicn 
shall  the  kingdom  of  heaven  be  likened  unto  ten  virgins, 
which  took  tlicir  lamps,  and  went  forth  to  meet  the  1  (ride- 
groom.  And  five  of  them  were  wi-se,  and  five  were  fool- 
ish. They  that  were  foolish  took  their  lamps,  and  took 
no  oil  with  them  ;  but  the  wise  took  oil  in  their  vessels 
with  their  lamps.  "While  the  bridegroom  tarried,  they  all 
slumbered  and  slept.  And  at  midnight  there  was  a  crv 
made,  Behold  the  bridegroom  cometh;  go  ye  out  to  meet 
him.  Then  all  those  virgins  arose  and  trimmed  tlioir 
lamps.  And  the  foolish  said  unto  the  wise,  Give  us  ()f 
your  oil ;  for  our  lamps  are  gone  out.  But  the  wise  an- 
swered, saying.  Not  so  ;  lest  there  be  not  enough  for  us 
and  you ;  but  go  ye  rather  to  them  that  sell,  and  buy  for 
yourselves.  And  while  they  went  to  buy,  the  bridegroom 
came  ;  and  they  that  were  ready  went  in  with  him  to  the 
marriage  :  and  the  door  was  shut.  Afterward  came  also 
the  other  virgins,  saying,  Lord,  Lord,  open  to  us.      Bui 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


261 


he  answered  and  said,  Verily  I  say  unto  you,  I  know  you 
not.  Watch,  therefore,  for  ye  know  neitl.oi  ♦^he  day  nor 
the  hour  wherein  the  Son  of  man  coir.eth." 

19^/i.  —  Rev.  A.  McLeod  preached  from  Matt.  5  :  10. 
"  Let  your  light  so  shine  before  men,  tl  at  they  may  sec 
your  good  works,  ami  glorify  your  Father  which  is  in 
heaven."  The  Lord  enable  me  to  observe  and  obey  this 
special  command  ;  but  we  must  be  partakers  of  the  true 
light,  before  we  can  let  it  shine.  The  light  of  nature  is 
the  light  of  this  world.  "In  the  beginning,  God  created 
the  heavens  and  the  earth ;  and  the  earth  was  without 
form  and  void,  and  darkness  was  upon  the  face  of  the 
deep,  and  the  Spirit  of  God  moved  upon  the  face  of  the 
■waters.  And  God  said,  Let  there  be  light ;  and  there 
was  light."  The  light  of  the  body  is  the  eye.  Through 
this  valuable  organ,  by  the  medium  of  light,  the  image  of 
things  being  painted  v  ^n  the  retina,  are  by  the  nerve 
conveyed  to  the  brain  nd  the  understanding.  Thus  may 
the  sweet  rays  of  divii  '  light,  the  knowledge  of  the  glory 
of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ,  shine  into  our  hearts. 

Our  blessed  Savior  came,  a  light  into  the  world,  that 
whosoever  belicveth  in  him  should  not  Avalk  in  darkness, 
but  have  the  light  of  life.  It  is  not  necessary  to  go  to 
heathen  lands  to  shun  this  light :  people  may  use  a  thick 
veil,  or  simply  shut  their  ejcs  against  it,  and  be  in  dark- 
ness anywhere. 

2od.  —  I  thank  the  Lord  that  while  many  of  our  fel- 
low citizens  are  being  removed  by  death,  we  still  live. 
Enemies  lurk  around  me  ;  may  I  be  enabled  to  }iut  my 
foot  upon  the  necks  of  all  uiy  stubborn  inbred  foes,  that 
the  natives  of  my  heart  may  be  slain,  and  that  I  may  ulti- 
mately possess  that  land  which  Hows  with  milk  and  honey. 


262 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


1" 


Diffuse  thy  light  and  life  through  all  my  soul,  and  pre- 
pare me  for  the  duties  of  the  Sabbath ;  bless  thy  minis- 
ters, dircet  their  studies,  and  may  the  word  preached,  be 
as  eye-salve  to  open  the  eyes,  enlighten  the  understand- 
ings, and  change  the  hearts  of  the  people,  that  they  may 
be  wise  unto  everlasting  salvation. 

24^A.  — Key.  J.  B.  Strong  preached  from  Vs.  84  :  1,  -2. 
*'  How  amiable  are  thy  tabernacles,  0  Lord  of  ho;  1 1 ! 

"  My  soul  longeth,  yea,  even  faintcth  for  the  courts  of 
the  Lord  :  my  heart  and  my  flesh  crieth  out  for  the  living 
God." 

The  tabernacle  was  a  building  reared  up  by  Moses  at 
the  command  of  God,  to  put  his  name  therein,  and  for  his 
own  worship.  In  it  was  the  Ark  of  the  Covenant,  and  the 
mercy  seat,  and  the  cherubims  with  stretched  forth  wings 
covering  the  mercy-seat,  and  in  the  ark  was  put  the  testi- 
mony which  the  Lord  gave.  And  he  said  to  Moses,  there 
I  will  meet  with  thee,  and  commune  with  thee  from  above 
the  mercy-seat  ;  from  between  the  two  cherubims,  which 
are  upon  the  ark  of  the  testimony,  of  all  things  which  I 
•will  give  thee  in  commandment  unto  the  children  of 
Israel. 

The  cloud  of  the  Lord  was  upon  the  tabernacle  by  day, 
and  fire  was  on  it  by  night  in  the  sigiit  of  all  the  house  of 
Israel,  throughout  all  their  journeys. 

David  was  greatly  delighted  with  the  privilege  of  wor- 
shipping God  in  his  sanctuary,  and  with  the  melodious 
music,  which  ornamented  God's  house,  and  cheered  his 
worshippers.  Blessed  are  they  that  dwell  in  thy  house 
they  will  be  still  praising  thee.  'J  hey  go  from  strength  to 
strength  ;  every  one  of  theui  in  Ziou  appeareth  before 
God. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


•2G3 


id  pre- 
minis- 
hcd,  be 
}r9tan(l- 
icy  may 

[:  1,'2. 

ourts  oi" 


ic  living 


loses  at 
1  for  his 
aiul  the 
;h  wings 
he  tcsti- 
s,  there 
m  above 
},  Avhich 
Avhich  I 
dren  of 

by  day, 

lOUSC  of 

of  wor- 
elodious 

red  his 
y  house, 
cngth  to 
before 


Rev.  S.  Joll  preached  from  the  parable  of  the  Prodigal 
Son.     Luke  15  :  11. 

And  lie  said.  A  certain  man  had  two  sons  : 

And  the  yountjer  of  tijoin  said  to  liis  father,  Father,  give  me  the 


)r  ffoods  tliat  falletli 


And  he  divided 


them  his 


portion 
hvinjj. 

And  not  many  days  after,  the  young'er  son  gathered  all  together, 
and  took  his  journey  into  a  far  country,  and  there  wasted  his  sub- 
stance with  riotous  living. 

And  when  he  had  spent  all,  there  arose  a  mighty  famine  in  tliat 
land  ;  and  he  began  to  be  in  want. 

And  he  went  and  joined  himself  to  a  citizen  of  that  country ;  and 
he  sent  him  into  his  tieldn  to  feed  swine. 

And  he  would  fuin  have  filled  his  belly  with  the  husks  that  the 
swine  did  eat ;  and  no  man  gave  unto  him. 

And  when  he  came  to  himself,  ho  said,  How  many  hired  servants 
of  my  father's  have  bread  enough  and  to  spare,  and  I  perish  with 
hunger ! 

I  will  arise  and  go  to  my  father,  and  will  say  unto  liim,  Father, 
I  have  sinned  against  heaven,  and  before  thee, 

And  am  no  more  worthy  to  be  called  thy  son  :  make  me  as  one 
of  thy  hired  servants. 

And  he  arose,  and  came  to  his  father.  But  when  he  was  yet  a 
great  way  off,  his  father  saw  him,  and  had  compassion,  and  ran,  and 
fell  on  his  neck,  and  kissed  him. 

And  the  son  said  unto  him.  Father,  I  have  sinned  against  heaven, 
and  in  thy  sight,  and  am  no  more  worthy  to  be  called  thy  son. 

But  the  father  said  to  his  servants,  Bring  forth  the  best  robe,  and 
put  it  on  him  ;  and  put  a  ring  on  his  hand,  and  shoes  on  his  feet : 

And  bring  hither  the  fatted  calf,  and  kill  it ;  and  let  us  eat,  and 
be  merry  : 

For  this  my  son  was  dead  and  is  alive  again  ;  he  was  lost,  and  is 
found.     And  they  began  to  be  merry. 

Now  his  elder  son  was  in  the  field  :  and  as  he  came  and  drew 
nigh  to  the  house,  he  heard  music  and  dancing. 

And  he  called  one  of  the  servants  and  asked  what  these  things 
meant. 


204 


Lirr:  an';  kxteriexce  of 


» 


And  he  snid  unto  liini,  Thy  hrother  is  como  ;  nnd  thy  fathor  hath 
killod  tho  fatted  cull",  bccuuso  ho  hath  received  him  sale  nnd  sdiiiid. 

And  he  was  an^'ry  and  wouhl  not  go  in  ;  thurclbre  cann  his  lather 
out,  nnd  entreated  him. 

And  he  an.swerinjf,  said  to  his  fatiicr,  I^o,  these  many  years  do  I 
Berve  thee,  neither  trnns<,'ressod  I  at  any  time  thy  commandment; 
nnd  yet  thou  never  gavest  me  a  kid,  tliat  I  might  make  merry  with 
my  friends  : 

IJut  as  soon  as  this  thy  son  was  como,  wliich  hath  devoured  tliy 
living  with  harU)t9,  thou  Iiast  killed  for  him  the  fatted  calf. 

And  he  said  unto  him,  Son,  thou  art  ever  with  me  ;  and  all  that 
I  have  is  thine. 

It  was  meet  that  we  should  make  merry,  and  ho  glad  :  for  this 
thy  brother  was  dead,  nnd  is  alivo  again  ;  and  was  lost,  and  is 
found. 


1 


The  two  sons  represent  tlic  two  dispensations  of  the  Law 
and  the  Gospel.  The  Father  looking  out  tor  his  Son  ;  tho 
mercy,  love,  and  readiness  of  the  Lord  to  save  returning 
sinners.  The  joy  and  rejoicing  of  the  household ;  the  in- 
terest which  is  felt  in  the  church,  for  the  hai)pincss  of  all 
who  return  to  God. 

I  do  not  wonder,  that  when  tlie  fatted  calf  was  killed, 
and  they  were  feasting  upon  it,  that  there  was  joy,  music, 
and  dancing.  "Was  there  not  a  sufficient  cause  ?  This  my 
son  was  dead,  and  is  alive,  was  lost,  and  is  found. 

If  king  David  was  so  overjoyed  at  the  return  of  the  Ark 
of  God  into  the  land  of  Israel,  that  he  uncovered  himself 
of  his.  kingly  ornaments,  and  danced  before  it,  no  wonder 
that  a  precious  soul,  that  must  exist  to  all  eternity,  should 
rejoice  when  released  from  shi,  and  received  to  the  divine 
favor. 

AVhat  would  Dives  give  to  he  released  from  his  misery, 
or  to  have  it  mitigated  by  cold  water  ? 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY. 


265 


"  It  was  compassion  like  a  God, 
That  when  the  Savior  knew 
The  price  of  pardon  wan  his  blood, 
His  pity  ne  'er  withdrew. 

Behold  the  wretch  !  whose  lust  and  wine 

Had  wasted  his  estate, 
He  begs  a  share  amongst  the  swine. 

To  taste  the  husks  they  eat. 

I  die  with  hunger  here,  he  cried, 

I  starve  in  foreign  lands, 
My  father's  house  has  largo  supplies, 

And  bounteous  are  his  hands. 

I  '11  go  and  with  a  mournful  tongue, 

Fall  down  before  his  face; 
Father  I  've  done  thy  justice  wrong, 

Nor  can  deserve  thy  grace. 

He  said,  and  hastened  to  his  home, 

To  seek  his  Father's  love, 
His  father  saw  the  rflbel  come. 

And  all  his  bowels  move. 

He  ran  and  fiell  upon  his  neck, 
Kiss'd  and  embraced  his  son, 

The  rebel  heart  with  sorrow  brake, 
For  follies  he  had  done. 

Take  off  the  clothes  of  sin  and  shame. 

The  father  gave  command. 
Dress  him  in  garments  white  and  clean, 

With  rings  adorn  his  hand. 


A  day  of  feasting  I  ordain, 
Let  joy  and  mirth  abound. 

My  son  was  dead  and  lives  again, 
Was  lost,  and  now  is  found." 

23* 


20G 

I.U-li 

AND 

EXi'iuilLNri: 

OF 

0< 

'f'l/it')'  Itfi 

.  —  llev. 

J. 

1>.  Stron;^  ])rcf\chc(l  ^vo! 

1  Matt. 

24  : 

v\.   "  n 

lit    lie 

th 

at 

shall  cii'luro 

unto 

the  '  . 

'!».   th'^ 

siuno 

Sllllll  1)0 

■<UVC(l. 

»» 

Tho  Lord  iiuike  mo  truly  tliankful  fur  tlic  j)rivilcf5c  of 
the  .i^ospt'l,  and  enable  me  to  endure  steadfast  in  the  faith, 
to  tho  end  of  life  ;  not  a  hearer  only,  but  a  doer  of  tho 
Avork  ;  fully,  and  finally  saved,  to  give  praise  to  God,  anil 
the  Lamb,  forever  and  ever. 

A.i5ain,  from  Phil.  1  :  23.  "For  I  am  in  a  strait  be- 
twixt two,  havin;;  a  desire  to  depart,  and  to  be  with  Christ, 
Avhieh  is  far  better." 

May  1  enjoy  the  constant  witness,  that  for  mc  to  live,  is 
Christ,  and  to  die  is  ;^ain. 

Ikconher  2bth.  —  O  thou,  whose  eye  penetrates  the 
most  secret  thought  of  the  heart,  and  not  any  thing  can 
escape  thy  notice  :  look  upon  me  an  unworthy  worm  of 
the  dust,  who,  without  divine  assistance  can  neither  think, 
speak,  or  do  anything  pleasing  in  thy  sight  ;  help  mc, 
therefore,  to  double  my  diligence,  call  in  all  my  wandering 
thoughts,  place  my  aftections  on  things  above,  that  my 
treasure  may  be  in  heaven,  and  my  heart  there  also. 

I  now  make  a  solenni  dedication  of  my  soul,  body,  and 
spirit,  unto  thee,  which  is  my  reasonable  service.  0,  that 
I  may  feel  a  true  cngagedness  of  soul,  for  the  salvation  of 
my  fellow  mortals,  that  Christ,  the  hope  of  glory,  may  be 
formed  in  them.  Have  mercy  upon  all  the  inhabitants  of  the 
earth,  and  hasten  that  glorious  day,  when  all  shall  know 
thee,  -whom  to  know  is  life  eternal,  llemember  thy  cove- 
nant people,  the  Jews,  and  thy  ])romisc3  to  them  ;  may 
they  hear  thy  inviting  voice,  and  be  drawn  by  the  cord  of 
thy  love,  and  brought  into  the  Christian  fold,  with  the  ful- 
ness of  the  Gentiles. 


J  \ratt. 

>'(!.,  tho 

ilc;^c  of 

10  tuilli, 

of  the 

0(1,  au"l 


:ralt  Ijc- 
,  Clirist, 

)  live,  is 

ltC3  tlio 
lin;^  can 
rtorni  of 
r  think, 
elp  mc, 
ndoring 
lat  my 

0. 

ly,  and 
O,  that 
ation  of 
nay  ho 
is  of  the 
I  know 
cove- 
may 
jord  of 
the  ful- 


MUS.    MAIIV     1!UAI>M:Y. 


2(37 


May  all  the  eiuls  of  the  earth  how  to  the  sceptre  of  Je«?iis«, 
and  hocome  hia,  hy  justification,  adoption,  sanctification, 
and  ho  his  faithful  followers. 

Crown  with  success  the  lahors  of  all  faithful  ministers, 
and  answer  the  ])rayers  of  all  pious  jtcoplo  ;  and  may  tho 
word  of  tho  \jn'd  ahido  in  us,  and  wo  ahido  in  him,  that 
whatever  we  ask  in  faith,  wo  may  receive. 

"  And  when  n)y  work  on  cartli  i-t  iluno, 
And  all  lu'iiven'H  host  thy  name  iidoro, 
Mfiy  I  III'  I'linnil  iiniuii;;  tliciii  uno, 
To  pniiM;  tliy  uuuie  I'ur  t.'vcnuorc." 

DeecmbiT  30///,  18o0.  — ()  Lord,  pour  out  thy  Jloly 
S[)iritup(in  our  church,  and  hless  \is  in  the  services  on  tho 
Now  Year's  eve,  that  the  hearts  of  many,  hi;^  with  expec- 
tation of  a  visit  of  special  grace,  and  the  divine  presence  at 
the  watch-night,  may  not  ho  disappointed. 

May  the  hlessed  -work  of  entire  sanctification  become  a 
general  enjoyment,  and  why  not  row  ? 

O,  when  shall  1  see  and  enjoy  the  privilege  of  })cing  a 
member  of  the  pure  church,  for  which  I  have  so  long 
looked  ?  may  the  time  to  favor  Zion  come,  and  our  faith 
be  increased  to  receive  the  ])romiscs.  May  the  kingdom  of 
God  come,  and  his  will  bo  done  among  his  believing  chil- 
dren on  earth,  so  that  he  may  delight  to  view  the  assem- 
blies of  his  saints. 

0,  for  hearts  to  love  the  Lord  supremely,  and  our  breth- 
ren and  sisters  as  ourselves,  and  that  the  uniting  S})irit  of 
love  and  power,  may  go  from  heart  to  heart  as  oil  is  poured 
from  vessel  to  vessel,  until  all  sliall  catch,  the  heavenly  tlame. 

"  Oh  wIr'm  shall  I  sne  Jc^ii^, 
And  reij^u  with  himuhovo  ; 
And  fruni  that  living  fo\intain, 
Drink  cverlastinK  love  V" 


268 


LIFE   AND   KXPERIENCE   OF 


<.■ 


December  31 8^.  —  0  Lord,  thou  hast  crowned  the  year 
^vith  thy  goodness,  and  indulged  me  with  innumerable 
favors  to  its  close  ;  for  which  I  now  record  my  grateful 
praises,  and  particularly,  that  I  have  been  permitted  to 
maintain  the  purpose  formed  last  New  Year's  day,  of 
writing  a  journal. 

May  the  few  remaining  days  of  ray  life,  be  much  more 
than  the  past,  improved  to  the  divine  glory,  and  may  I  be 
preserved  from  the  snare  of  the  fowler,  and  from  the 
noisome  pestilence  ;  under  his  wings  may  I  be  sheltered, 
and  kept  as  the  apple  of  his  eye,  and  in  the  hollow  of  his 
hand,  and  guided  by  his  counsel,  may  he  in  great  mercy 
receive  me  to  glory. 

Dec.  2^thy  1833.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from 
Luke  2  :  11.  "  For  unto  you  is  born  this  day,  in  the  city 
of  David,  a  Savior,  which  is  Christ  the  Lord."  The  sub- 
ject, illustrative  of  the  nativity,  oflfice,  and  honor  of  our 
blessed  Lord,  was  applied  with  comfort  to  my  mind. 
"  Therefore  being  justified  by  faith,  we  have  peace  with 
God,  through  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ." 

Jan.  1st,  1834.  — Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  a  fast-day 
sermon  from  Jonah  3  :  7  -  10.  "  And  he  caused  it  to  be 
proclaimed  and  published  through  Nineveh  by  the  decree 
of  the  king  and  his  nobles,  saying.  Let  neither  man  nor 
beast,  herd  nor  flock,  taste  any  thing :  let  them  not  feed, 
nor  drink  water :  But  let  man  and  beast  be  covered  with 
sackcloth,  and  cry  mightily  unto  God  :  yea,  let  them  turn 
every  one  from  his  evil  way,  and  from  the  violence  that  is 
in  their  hands.  Who  can  tell  if  God  will  turn  and  repent, 
and  turn  away  from  his  fierce  anger,  that  we  perish  not  ? 
And  God  saw  their  works,  that  they  turned  from  their  evil 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY. 


2G9 


of 


^vay  ;  and  God  repented  of  the  evil  that  he  had  said  that 
he  AYOuUl  do  unto  them  :  and  he  did  it  not." 

The  society  of  the  city,  Carlton,  and  PortLand,  met 
together  at  two  o'chDck,  fur  renewing  the  covenant,  and 
])artook  of  the  Lord's  supper  ;  it  was  an  interesting  season ; 
may  it  long  be  remembered. 

This  day  forty-seven  years  ago,  my  soul  v.as  made  a 
hap))y  partaker  of  the  divine  nature,  and  formed  anew  in 
Christ  Jesus.  jSIay  all  my  future  life  declare  that  I  have 
Christ  put  on. 

I  thank  the  Lord  for  his  many  fixvors,  victories,  and  par- 
doning love  ;  may  the  constant  brcatliings  of  my  soul  ascend 
to  him  as  incense,  and  commencing  the  duties  of  this  year 
with  fresh  vigor,  and  strength  renewed,  may  I  travelto  the 
mount  of  God. 


"  0,  lot  me  climb  tll()^;o  lii^lior  skip-;, 
^VlK■l•o  sf()nn>  ami  darUiiess  iiover  ri.so  ; 
Theiv  llo  ilisi)liiy.-.  His  powers  ahmad, 
AniUhiiies  und  reitriis  tho  incaruutc  tiud." 


2d.  —  Blessed  be  thv  great  and  holv  name,  0  Lord,  fur 
thy  renewed  mercy  in  sparing  me  another  day ;  how  little 
has  my  mind  centered  upon  thee  this  day,  and  how  little 
have  I  meditated  upon  thy  "Word.  Help  me  to  examine 
and  call  myself  to  an.  account  how  I  have  improved  my 
time  and  talents.  Suflcr  me  not  to  speak  peace  and  flat- 
ter myself. 

"  Lord  search  my  heart,  and  try  my  waj's, 
And  make  my  soul  sincere; 
Then  shall  I  stand  heibre  tiiy  face, 
And  lind  aocei)tance  llicru."' 


ijd.  —  The  mercies  of  God  are  new  every  morning,  and 


270 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


j:^rcat  is  his  faitlifulncss  ;  may  I  never  lose  a  sense  of  this, 
that  I  am  always  in  thy  immediate  presence,  and  all  that 
passes  throuf^h  my  mind  is  known  to  thee,  and  that  every 
moment  I  am  drawin;^  nearer  to  my  eternal  home,  the 
house  appointed  for  all  living,  and  that  it  is  only  throuj^h 
the  merits  of  my  lledccmer  I  am  permitted  to  claim  an 
interest  in  the  Fatiicr's  love  and  heavenly  glory. 

"  0,  (or  a  licart  to  praise  my  C!od, 
A  lioart  from  sin  set  froc  ; 
A  licart  that  always  feels  thy  blooil, 
So  freely  gjiilt  I'ui'  me." 

4^/t.  —  How  this  important  question  has  run  through  my 
mind  to-day  !  What  have  1  cost  my  blessed  Savior  ? 
"Was  ever  pain,  was  ever  love  like  his  ?  No,  never  !  His 
sold  was  once  an  offering  made,  for  every  soul  of  man.  U, 
that  I  may  always  possess  that  Christian  godliness,  which 
is  the  fruit  of  my  (Savior's  passion : 

"l\Iilil,  sweet,  serene,  and  tender  in  her  mo^iil, 

Nor  <rrave  with  sternness,  nor  with  liglitness  free; 
Afrainst  exam))le  resolutely  pood, 
Fervent  in  zeal,  and  warm  in  cliarity." 

iJth.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Luke  13: 
G  -  9.  "  He  spake  also  this  parable  :  A  certain  man  had 
a  iig-trce  planted  in  his  vineyard  ;  and  lie  came  and  sought 
fruit  thereon,  and  fotmd  none.  Then  said  he  unto  the 
dresser  of  his  vineyard,  Behold,  these  three  years  I  come 
seeking  fruit  on  this  fig-tree,  and  find  none :  cut  it  down  ; 
wliy  cumbercth  it  the  ground  ?  And  he  answering,  said 
unto  him,  Lord,  let  it  alone  this  year  also,  till  I  shall  dig 
about  it,  and  dung  it :  And  if  it  bear  fruit,  well :  and  if 
not,  then  after  that  thou  shalt  cut  it  down. 


j> 


JIKS.    MARY    lillxVDLEY. 


271 


His 

Lll.     O, 


13: 
1  hail 

uglit 
0  the 

come 
town  ; 

said 
11  cli- 
and  if 


Either  we  may  understand  God  the  Father  hy  him  that 
liad  the  vineyard,  and  Clirist  by  him  that  kept  it ;  or 
Christ  himself  is  he  that  hath  it,  and  his  ministers  they  that 
keep  it.  —  Wcsh'i/. 

The  Lord  grant  that  this  profitable  discourse  may  bo 
indelibly  impressed  upon  the  memory,  and  evinced  in  the 
practice,  of  all  -who  sat  under  its  sound ;  that  this  year 
may  be  more  fruitful  in  the  divine  life  than  the  past  year. 

Mr.  II.  preached  from  Ps'.ilm  116  :  1  -  4.  "  Hove  the 
Lord,  because  he  hath  heard  my  voice  and  my  supplica- 
tions. Because  he  hath  inclined  his  ear  unto  me,  there- 
fore will  I  call  upon  him  as  long  as  I  live.  The  sorrows 
of  death  compassed  me,  and  the  pains  of  hell  gat  hold  up- 
on me  :  I  found  trouble  and  sorrow.  Then  called  I  upon 
the  name  of  the  Lord  ;  0  Lord,  I  beseech  thee,  deliver  my 
soul." 

A  blessed  subject ;  may  it  be  cheerfully  responded  to  by 
all  who  heard  it. 

'oth.  —  Glory  be  to  thy  great  and  holy  name,  U  Lord, 
for  the  mercies  of  this  day,  and  for  the  ])recious  promises 
brought  to  my  mind  this  evening  ;  keep  us  from  evil,  and 
protect  us  from  fatal  accidents,  and  protect  the  city  from 
the  ravages  of  fire  ;  may  it  never  fall  a  prey  to  such  a  dis- 
mal fate.  Give  thine  angels  charge  over  us.  ;.?«d  keep  us 
in  the  hollow  uf  thy  hand  iill  the  days  of  osir  lives,  and 
help  us  to  grow  uj)  into  thee  our  living  head  in  all  things. 

Qth.  —  U,  what  a  calm  sweet  frame  r '.' niiad  do  I  eniov 
this  evening!  (ilory  to  God,  it  is  n(^t  for  any  works  of 
righteousness  I  have  done,  or  ever  expect  to  do,  that  I 
look  forwartl  to  another  and  better  Wf-rld.  No,  I  would 
renounce  my  own  righteousness  as  filihy  rags,  in  point  of 
merit :  but  it  is  h,  und  tlirouixh  the  atonement  of  mv  dear 


272 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


Redeemer  and  his  free  grace  alone,  that  I  anticipate  a 
blissful  immortality. 


"  0,  lor  tliis  love  let  rocks  and  hills 
Their  lasting  silence  hreak  ; 
Anil  ail  harmf)Minus  human  tonjrucs, 
Their  Savior's  praises  speak  1  " 


12th.  — Rev.  S.  Rusby  preached  from  Eph.  3  :  15,  IG. 
"  Of  ^vhom  the  whole  family  in  heaven  and  earth  is  named, 
that  he  ■would  grant  you  according  to  the  riches  of  his 
glory,  to  be  strengthened  with  might  by  his   Spirit  in  the 


mncr  man. 


n 


"  Onfi  family,  wo  dwell  in  him, 
One  church  above,  heneath  ; 
Thoufrli  iiow  divided  by  the  stream, 
The  narrow  stream  of  death." 


Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Daniel  ():  20.  "The 
king  spake  and  said  to  Daniel,  0  Daniel,  servant  of  the 
living  God,  is  thy  God  whom  thou  servest  continually,  able 
to  deliver  thee  from  the  lions ':'  " 


"  God  of  Daniel,  hear  my  prayer, 

And  let  thy  power  be  seen  ; 
Stop  the  li(jn's  moutii,  and  bear 

Mv  safe  out  of  his  den: 
Save  me  in  tiiis  dreadful  hour  ; 

Karth,  and  hell,  and  nature  join. 
All  stand  ready  to  de\'<inr 

'l'\n-  helpless  soul  of  mine." 


VotJi. — A  desperate  windy  niglit.  Why  this  timidity? 
—  fearing  the  breaking  out  n['  lire.  Wliy  cannot  I  cast 
all  my  burden  upon  the  Lord,  and  steadfastly  rely  upon 
his  precious  Word  ?     '*  I  will  never  leave  thee  nor  forsake 


MRS.    MAUY    liUADLEY. 


273 


tlieo.  lie  shall  deliver  thee  in  six  troubles :  yea,  in  seven 
there  shall  no  evil  touch  thee.  In  famine  he  shall  redeem 
thee  from  death,  and  in  war  from  the  power  of  the  sword. 
Thou  shalt  be  hid  from  the  scouri^c  of  the  tongue  :  neither 
shalt  thou  bo  afraid  of  dcstructiou  when  it  cometh.  And 
thou  shalt  know  that  thy  tabernacle  shall  be  in  peace  ; 
and  thou  shalt  visit  thy  habitation,  and  shalt  not  sin."  — 
Job  5 :  lU. 


"  0,  fi»r  that  fiiitli,  wliirh  iDuk-;  to  God  aloni', 
Luui^hs  at  iinpoisiibilitios,  iiml  cries  it  >liiill  Ijc  done  !  " 


Wth.  —  I  adore  the  mercy  of  the  Most  High,  for  con- 
ducting us  thus  far  on  the  journey  of  life,  while  many  of 
our  fellow  citizens  have  been  called  into  eternity.  I  pray  fur 
ability  candidly  and  faithfully  to  examine  myself,  and  try 
my  state  by  the  divine  standard.  Does  my  life  correspond 
with  my  profession  ?  Do  I  live  a  life  of  faith  in  the  Son 
of  God?  Does  Jesus  Christ  dwell  in  me  by  his  Holy 
Spirit,  and  am  I  guided  by  his  unerring  Word  in  all 
thiniis  ?  Do  I  love  him  above  all  ?  Do  I  fear  to  offend 
him,  and  love  to  ()l»ey  him  ?  Do  I  depend  wholly  upon 
his  merits  and  atonement  for  justification,  and  eternal  sal- 
vation ?  Am  I  weaned  from  tlie  world,  and  from  all  its 
forbidden  and  ensnaring  objects  ?  Do  I  resist  the  devil, 
and  overcome  his  temptations  by  faith  in  the  blood  of  Jesus 
Christ  my  Lord ?  ()  thou,  who  knowcst  my  heart  better 
than  I  do,  ([ualify  me  by  grace  to  answer  une(iuivocally 
and  affirmatively  all  those,  and  many  more  such  interrog- 
atories. May  the  existciv-c  of  sin,  and  every  root  of  bit- 
terness bo  totally  destroyed,  and  thy  pure  love  fill  up  all 
my  heart. 

24 


274 


LIFE    AND    EXI'KttlEN'CE   OF 


"  Thy  prosonro  niukos  my  paradise, 
Aiiil  wlicre  tli'iu  art  is  iicavoii." 

1GM.  —  The  promises  of  Christ  are  sure,  as  the  liills  are 
firm.  "  My  peace  i  <^ive  unto  you,  my  peace  I  leave  with 
you,  not  as  the  worhl  giveth,  give  I  unto  you."  In  the 
s[)irit  of  meekness,  humble  love,  and  realizing  faith,  I  would 
claim  them  as  my  own.  With  ardent  breathings  of  unceas- 
ing prayer,  and  fresh  determinations  to  cleave  unto  the 
Lord,  may  my  heart  go  out  continually  after  him,  and  in 
love  and  ])ity  for  those  who  arc  out  of  the  ark  of  safety,  in 
the  broad  road  which  leadeth  to  destruction.  May  they 
hear  Jehovah's  warning  voice,  "  Turn  ye,  turn  ye,  for  why 
will  ye  die?  Jjehold  now  is  the  accepted  time,  behold  now 
is  the  day  of  salvation." 

18th.  —  I  confess  I  am  unable  to  answer  for  one  sin  of 
:  thousand  I  have  committed,  and  were  it  not  for  a  friend 
y-ho  has  stepped  in  between  the  Father's  wratli  and  my 
1  recious  soul,  1  could  have  no  hope  of  heaven  ;  ])ut  blessed 
be  the  Lord  who  has  provided  a  remedy,  and  laid  help  up- 
on one  who  is  all-sufficient  to  atone  for  sin,  remove  the 
heavy  load  of  guilt,  and  the  fearful  looking  for  of  judgment, 
and  cause  joy  and  the  hope  of  eternal  happiness  to  spring 
up  in  my  soul.  Glory  be  to  that  unspeakably  kind  friend, 
who  has  given  me  a  witness  of  this  blessed  truth,  that  he 
is  al)lc  to  save  to  the  utmost  all  who  come  to  the  Father, 
through  faith  in  him.  0,  come  and  take  the  entire  pos- 
session of  my  heart,  and  reign  without  a  rival,  that  I  may 
be  united  to  mybles.^cd  Lord  by  thousands  of  lies,  cords  of 
love  stronger  than  di  r  h. 

"  Ciitilil  I  it/-  rliinli  where  >h)S>'.-  stood, 
Ami  vic>v  tlic  huidsoapo  oVt; 
Not  .hirdiin's  stream,  iiu '  deatii's  cold  Hood, 
Should  frieht  mo  from  tho  shore." 


MRS.    MAllY     iniADLKY. 


275 


:'icil(l, 
at  he 
Lthcr, 

0  |)0S- 

111  ay 
.'Js  ut" 


10^//.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  proaclied  from  '^  Peter  ')  : 
18.  "  ]>\it  grow  in  grace,  and  in  tlie  knowledge  of  oiir 
Lord  and  k^avior  Jesus  Christ.  To  him  ho  gl^r}'  both 
now  and  forever.     Amen." 

In  the  evening  Rev.  !S.  ]]ushy  i)reaclied  irom  "2  Peter 
1 :  10,  11.  "  Wherefore  the  ratlier,  brethren,  give  dili- 
gence to  make  your  calling  and  election  sure  :  for  if  ye  do 
these  things,  yo  shall  never  fall :  For  so  an  entrance  shall 
be  ministered  unto  you  abundantly,  into  the  everlasting 
kingdom  of  our  Lord  and  Savior  Jesus  Christ." 

I  mourn  over  the  imperfections  which  are  mingled  with 
all  my  performances  ;  cleanse  me  from  all  sin,  and  enable 
me  with  greater  life  and  vigor  to  hear  thy  f)recious  AVord, 
that  I  mav  secure  true  pietv  ;  make  mv  callin'j;  and  dec- 
tion  sure  ;  practice  true  piety,  that  I  may  never  fall ;  en- 
joy the  rewards  of  true  piety,  so  an  entrance  shall  be  min- 
istered unto  mo  abundantlv  into  the  everlastinir  kinirdom 
of  my  Lord  and  Sa.i.^i. 

20fJt.  —  The  dismal  crv  of  fire  -was  heard  in  our  streets  ; 
people  running  in  all  directions  ;  l)ells  ringing  ;  engines 
clattering,  and  every  thing  in  melancholy  confusion  for  a 
wliile  ;  but  in  a  short  time  all  the  bustle  was  over.  The 
rod  was  shaken  over  us,  and  again  suspended.  May  it 
produce  in  us  greater  humility,  gratitude,  obedience  to 
heaven,  and  trust  in  divine  Providence. 

2-^th.  —  Blessed  be  the  name  of  the  Lord,  for  the  happy 
choice  I  was  enabled  to  make  in  the  days  of  my  youth,  to 
take  the  Lord  for  my  portion  in  time  and  eternity.  I  have 
never  repented  of  this  act,  neither  am  I  weary  of  my 
choice,  and  am  persuaded  it  will  afford  me  matter  of  re- 
joicing to  all  eternity  ;  when  I  shall  behold   the  face  of 


'216 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


my  Redeemer,  and  the  scars  uhicli  he  received  in  the  days 
of  liis  liumiliation. 


"  0,  liiijipy  (lay  tliat  fixcil  my  clioico 
On  'riici.',  my  Savior  ami  iny  (lod  ! 
\Vi;ll  may  tiiis  frlowing  lieart  rejoice, 
Ami  tell  its  rajitures  all  abroad." 

2,')tli.  —  Another  -week's  mercies  call  for  greater  grati- 
tude from  the  unworthy  workmanship  and  purchase  of  the 
Jledcemer.  AVhy  do  I  not  love  thee  vf\t\\  more  warmth 
of  affection  ?  Why  do  I  not  serve  thee  with  greater  zeal  ? 
Why  do  I  not  feel  greater  sorrow  for  not  having  lived  more 
to  thy  glory  ?  Surely  it  is  for  want  of  more  grace,  more 
of  divine  influence  ;  for  these  I  humbly  pray, 

"  Tliat  1  may  do  His  -will  below, 
As  angels  do  above  ; 
Wlio  always  see  liiin  on  His  throne, 
And  glory  in  His  love." 

2ijth.  —  Kev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Matt.  5:  G. 
"  Blessed  are  they  who  do  hunger  and  thirst  after  righte- 
ousness, for  they  shall  be  filled."  I  thank  thee,  0  heav- 
enly Father,  for  the  grace  of  repentance,  and  faith,  and 
zeal  to  press  on  against  the  current  of  my  own  sinful  na- 
ture, until  thou  didst  give  me  to  realize  Jesus  Christ  cru- 
cified for  me,  and  I  hungering  and  thirsting  after  his  righte- 
ousness, found  })ardon  and  peace  to  my  precious  soul.  I 
can  never  for;j^et  the  encouragement  1  derive  i  from  the 
application  of  this  text,  while  laboring  under  distress  of 
mind ;  it  was  to  me  a  pledge  of  promised  good  to  be  ful- 
filled in  the  Lord's  own  time  ;  but  how  earnestly  did  I 
plead  and  wrestle  for  its  fulfilment.  From  that  time  to 
the  present  he  has  been  carrying  on  his  work  of  grace. 


MRS.    MAUY    r.UADLKY. 


277 


G. 


I 

the 
ess  of 
e  ful- 
did  I 
mc  to 
grace. 


and  I  lmni1)ly  trust  for  its  continuance  until  death  is  swal- 
lowed up  in  victory. 

27///. —  If  T  am  indnlirin<i;  an  cncmv,  whether  it  be  the 
lovG  of  the  -world,  pride,  desire  of  riches,  or  love  of  the 
creature  more  than  the  creator,  I  pray  to  he  convinced  of 
it,  and  truly  humbled  under  a  sense  of  it.  I  desire  to 
feel  in  my  heart,  and  say  of  the  Lord,  whom  have  I  in 
heaven  but  thee  ?  and  there  is  none  on  earth  I  desire 
besides  thee  ? 

2Sfh.  —  May  the  Lord  regard  the  low  estate  of  his 
handmaid,  Mrs.  L.,  on  whom  is  laid  a  sore  and  heavy 
affliction ;  may  the  Sun  of  liighteousncss  shine  upon  her, 
and  pardoning  mercy  be  manifested  to  her  soul;  every 
dark  cloud  be  removed,  that  she  may  rejoice  in  the  Lord 
with  joy  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory. 

Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  2  Tim.  4:  7,  8.  "I 
have  fought  a  good  fight,  I  have  finished  my  course,  I 
have  kept  the  faith.  Henceforth  there  is  laid  up  for  mc  a 
crown  of  righteousness,  which  the  Lord,  the  righteous 
Judge,  shall  give  mo  at  that  day ;  and  not  to  rae  only, 
but  unto  all  them  also  that  love  his  appearing."  At  my 
latest  hour,  when  giving  up  my  charge  on  earth,  and 
about  to  enter  into  eternity,  may  the  language  of  the 
apostle  be  the  clear  testimony  of  my  conscience,  that  en- 
during to  the  end,  I  may  be  eternally  saved  through  my 
blessed  Lord  Jesus. 

29th.  —  I  desire  to  return  humble  and  hearty  thanks  to 
the  Lord  for  the  sweet  manifestation  of  his  grace  and 
love  to  his  young  suppliant.  Miss  C. 

"  0,  how  delightful  to  meet  on  that  etorniil  shore  1 
Where  pain  and  parting  shall  be  no  more." 

24* 


278 


LIFE   AND   EXT'i:UIEXCE   OF 


iMi:' 


30///.  —  Glory  I'O  to  (jod  for  the  innumcraMc  mercies 
of  his  kiu'l  h.'ind.  Mav  I  he  enahled  hy  grace  to  cleave 
closer  and  closer  to  him.  AVhat  is  there  on  earth  to  sat- 
isfy the  desires  of  my  soul  ?  \Vere  it  all  at  my  command, 
without  the  love  of  God  it  would  he  a  tiresome  [  uice. 
My  soul  for  all  his  fulness  cries. 

Feb.  Int,  ISo^L  — "  Strait  is  the  gate  and  narDw  Is 
the  wav  which  leadeth  unto  life,  and  few  there  be  tliat 
find  it."  — Mutt.  7  :  14.  May  I  he  iiiways  found  in  the 
strain  and  i»arrow  path  which  leads  I'nto  life,  renouncing 
the  world,  with  all  its  pomp  and  vain  allurements,  culti- 
vating a  meek  and  lowly  spirit,  determined  never  to  yield 
to  temptations,  w  backslide  from  the  Lord  in  heart  or  life. 

''  ll'iicnVirtl)  may  no  prof.mc  dolif^ht 
Iii.vi.'in  this  consecrati'il  miuI  : 
To- -ess  it,  thou  wlio  hiist  tht;  right, 
.\.^  Lord  and  Jhi-ter  of  tlio  w  hole." 

2il.  — Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Luke  li2:  lU. 
"And  he  took  bread,  and  gave  thanks,  and  brake  it,  and 
gave  mito  them,  saying,  This  is  my  body  which  is  given 
for  3'ou  ;  this  do  in  remembrance  of  mc."  I  am  sorry 
to  bo  interrnpteil  W'th  things  of  no  importance  to  me, 
though  1  <y.xn  through  grace 

"Trtad  the  world  bciio;ith  my  feet, 
And  all  the  earth  calls  good  or  great." 

])Ut  1  want  a  complete  victory  over  all  the  senses  of  my 
body,  which  are  inlets  to  temptation,  or  vanity,  and  cleave 
so  close  to  my  shepherd's  side,  as  to  sec  him  heave,  hear 
him  groan,  and  feci  the  gushing  blood. 

"  His  feet  were  nailed  to  yonder  tree, 
To  trample  down  our  sin ; 
His  hands  stretched  out,  wc  all  may  sec, 
To  take  liis  murderers  in." 


MRS.  MAUV   i;uauli:y. 


279 


mercies 
J  cleave 
I  to  sat- 
)rainauJ, 
0  liace. 

^rrow  is 
be  tliat 
nd  in  the 
[iouucing 
,s,  culti- 
to  yiekl 
ft  or  lite. 


22:  111. 
e  it,  anil 
is  given 
m  sorry 
to  me, 


)S  of  my 
d  cleave 
vc,  hear 


')d.  —  I  desire  to  evince  vlie  Christian  character  in  the 
constant  exercise  of  every  Cliristian  grace,  particularly 
in  the  forgiveness  of  injuries,  to  do  good  to  those  >vho 
revile  and  jiersecuto  me,  to  love  those  who  hate  me,  anil 
to  imitate  my  blessed  Savior  in  all  his  imitalde  perfections, 
that  I  may  grow  up  into  him  my  living  head  hi  all  things. 

ith.  —  I  thank  the  Lord  for  the  degree  of  submission 
I  feel,  under  the  trying  circumstance,  the  sacrifice  of 
property,  I  have  had  to  make  to-day.  I  feci  no  dispo- 
sition to  utter  a  murmuring  word,  or  indulge  an  unholy 
thought;  but  listen  to  the  dictates  <  livine  truth,  ''AH 
things  shall  work  together  for  ;  '  t  those  who  love 
God,"  and  to  lay  up  treasure  in  h'  u,  where  neither 
moth  nor  rust  doth  corrupt,  nor  thic\cs  l^rcak  through  nor 
steal,  llless  my  companion  ;  may  he  be  still,  and  know 
his  (Jod  ;  rijjen  for  glory,  that  as  the  outer  man  decays, 
the  inner  man  may  daily  grow  stronger ;  that  when  ho 
shall  be  called  to  give  up  his  account,  it  may  ))e  with 
joy,  and  not  with  grief. 

5^//.  —  "If  any  of  you  lack  wisdom,  let  hira  ask  of 
God,  that  giveth  to  all  men  liberally,  and  u}>braideth  not, 
and  it  shall  be  given  him."  — Jas.  L  :  5.  May  I  be  di- 
rected by  divine  wisdom  in  the  appointment  of  those, 
instead  "f  Mr.  Mc,  who  is  no  more,  who  shall  apply  our 
property  after  our  decease,  to  promote  the  glory  of  God 
and  the  good  of  his  church. 

Qfh.  —  Praised  be  thy  great  and  holy  name,  O  Lord, 
for  the  peaceful  and  (piiet  mind  I  enjoy  this  day.  I  feel 
thou  art  good,  and  doest  all  things  well ;  but  how  far 
short  do  I  come  in  making  suitable  returns  of  constant, 
ardent  love.     Help  us  to  use  this  world  as  a  loose  gar- 


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280 


LIFE   AXD    EXPERIEXCK    OF 


mcnt,  which  raav  be  cast  oft'  at  any  moment ;  and  to  Uve 
every  clay  as  those  who  must  give  a  strict  account  of  the 
deeds  done  in  the  body. 

1th.  —  I  feel  thankful  for  the  privilege  of  hearing 
to-day  from  my  classmates,  what  the  Lord  has  done  for 
their  souls  ;  may  they  hold  fast  whereunto  they  have 
attained,  that  no  one  take  their  crown  ;  and  show  to  all 
around,  by  a  well  ordered  life  and  conversation,  that  they 
have  Christ  put  on  ;  and  may  these  delightful  seasons  be 
but  as  the  preceding  drops  of  a  mighty  shower. 

8^/i.  —  As  our  time  is  swiftly  passing  away,  help  us  to 
redeem  and  improve  it,  and  gather  up  all  the  fragments 
of  it,  by  a  constant  Avatch  over  the  dispositions  and  exer- 
cises of  our  minds,  carefully  inspecting  every  motion, 
knowing  that  we  are  constantly  in  that  immediate  presence 
who  cannot  behold  sin  but  with  the  utmost  abhorrence. 
O  my  Father,  may  I  be  always  cheerfully  rendering  thee 
my  spirit,  soul,  and  body.  Be  pleased  to  revive  thy  work 
in  the  city  and  society  ;  in  answer  to  the  prayers  of  this 
evening,  send  down  peace,  and  destroy  sin,  by  the  bright- 
ness of  thy  appearing.  Give  abundant  success  to  the 
ministry  of  the  Word,  and  make  us  all  alive  in  thee,  our 
living  head,  that  we  may  bring  forth  fruit  to  thy  glory. 

9</i.  — Mr.  II.  preached  from  John  12:  21.  ^'Sirs, 
we  would  see  Jesus."  I  trust  each  individual  will  reit- 
erate this  text,  and  comprehend  in  all  its  bearings  the 
highly  interesting  subject  it  contains ;  see  him  by  faith  at 
the  throne  of  grace,  in  the  house  of  prayer,  in  public 
worship,  in  his  Word,  meditate  on  all  his  works,  behold 
his  wonders  in  creation,  providence,  plan  of  salvation, 
view  him  as  our  Prophet,  Priest,  and  King,  believing  that 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


281 


he  has  made  complete  satisf;iction  to  divhie  justice,  through 
the  vicarious  offering  up  of  himself,  a  sacrifice  in  our  la^v, 
room  and  stead,  rising  again  for  our  justification,  interced- 
ing for  us  at  the  Father's  right  hand.  View  him  in  the 
displays  of  gospel  grace,  raising  u}),  and  sending  forth  his 
ministers,  to  preach  salvation  to  o  dying  world. 

0  may  the  gospel  net  enclose  a  midtitude  of  precious 
souls,  who  shall  enjoy  and  praise  him  on  earth,  and  in 
heaven  for  ever. 

Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  John  3:7.  "  Ye 
must  be  born  again." 

Blessed  be  the  Lord,  for  the  happy  change  wrought  in 
my  heart ;  thougli  so  many  years  ago,  the  effect  remains, 
and  I  trust  the  Avork  is  in  progress  to  full  sanctification. 
I  delight  in  the  doctrine,  whatever  diffidence  I  feel  in 
professing  it,  yet  I  believe  it  is  my  privilege  to  be  cleansed 
from  all  sin  ;  a  sense  of  my  own  weakness,  and  my  love 
so  cold  to  thee,  and  thine  to  me  so  great  :  but  what  do  I 
love,  if  I  do  not  love  thee  ?  I  feel  mv  heart  loosened 
from  every  earthly  tie,  and  my  chief  treasure  in  heaven  ; 
and  am  persuaded,  when  this  earthly  tabernacle  shall  be 
dissolved,  I  have  a  house  not  made  with  hands,  eternal  in 
the  heavens.  The  ^^avior  has  said,  because  I  live,  yc 
shall  live  also  ;  I  hang  upon  the  jjroniise. 

1.0th.  —  I  see  clearly,  and  am  thankful  for  the  kind  in- 
terposing hand  of  Providence,  overruhng  those  things 
which  occasioned  me  some  uneasiness,  to  the  cunifurt,  and 
entire  satisfaction  of  my  mind,  and  I  trust  for  the  interest 
of  the  society,  the  benefit  of  my  friends,  and  relatives,  and 
the  glory  of  God. 

The  deed  of  trust  to  my  lieloved  brethren,  being  now 
settled,]  to  be  executed  in  due  time,  I  desire  to  forget 


282 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OP 


I.; 


those  things  which  are  behind,  and  press  toAvard  the  mark, 
for  the  prize  of  a  better  inheritance  ;  and  may  my  mind, 
affections,  heart,  treasure,  and  all  the  faculties  of  my  soul, 
centre  above,  Avhere  Christ  sittcth  at  the  right  hand  of 
God. 

IWi.  —  Why  have  I  been  so  much  off  my  guard  this 
evening,  to  dwell  so  long  on  an  earthly  subject,  however 
interesting  ?  0,  how  unprofitable  !  I  had  better  be  stripped 
of  all  my  property,  and  have  nothing  to  call  my  own  upon 
earth,  than  to  be  bereft  of  my  spiritual  comforts.  0,  why 
is  my  mind  so  easily  turned  aside  from  listening  to  the 
still  small  voice,  "  Love  not  the  world,  nor  the  things  of 
the  world,  for  if  any  man  love  the  world,  the  love  of  the 
Father  is  not  in  him." 

To  avoid  the  evil,  I  ought  not  to  dwell  upon  it  more 
than  is  absolutely  necessary.  I  pray  for  more  grace,  that 
as  I  have  put  on  the  profession  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  so  I  may 
ever  walk  in  him,  and  be  found  in  him. 

"  Sweet  is  tlie  work,  my  God,  my  King, 
To  praise  tliy  name,  give  thanks,  and  sing  ; 
To  show  tliy  love  by  niorninp;  light, 
And  talk  of  all  thy  truth  at  night." 

13^/i.  —  Praise  the  Lord,  for  the  privilege  of  another  day 
this  side  of  the  grave.  Time  is  short,  and  eternity  near. 
If  I  should  be  called  this  night,  am  I  prepared  ?  Is  my 
peace  made  ?  Have  I  true  faith  in  the  Savior  ?  Is  my 
whole  dependence  upon  the  atonement  of  Christ  ?  Do  I 
love  the  Lord,  with  all  my  heart, :  '  ul,  soul,  and  strength  ? 

0  Thou,  who  knowest  mo  alto^  er,  supply  my  every 
need,  out  of  thy  riches  in  glory  by  Christ  Jesus. 

14f/i. —  0  Lord,  I  beseech  thee,  keep  me  from  falling  a 
prey  to  the  grand  enemy  of  my  soul ;  he  is  never  tired  of 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


283 


tempting,  and  there  is  no  promise  in  the  word,  that  we  shall 
not  be  tempted  ;  but  that  we  shall  not  be  tempted  beyond 
our  ability  to  bear,  and  with  the  temptation  a  Avay  shall  be 
made  for  our  escape.     0,  keep  me,  gracious  Lord,  and, 

"  Ne'er  let  mo  rro,  till  I, 

Upborne  on  winjrs  of  faith  and  L  ve, 
Gain  the  regions  of  the  sky, 
And  tiiivc  my  ?eat  above." 

15th.  —  It  is  on  thy  earth  I  tread,  in  thy  air  I  breathe, 
and  upon  thy  bounty  I  live  ;  these  are  great  mercies,  but 
there  are  still  greater  ;  for  he  who  was  rich,  for  onr  sakcs 
became  poor,  that  we  through  his  poverty,  might  become 
rich.  While  I  feel  grateful  for  the  former,  I  desire  earn- 
estly to  covet,  and  largely  enjoy  the 

"  Riches  of  Clirist,  on  all  bestowed, 
AjuI  honor  that  descends  from  God." 

IQth.  —  llcv.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Isa.  3  :  10,11. 
"  Say  ye  to  the  righteous,  that  it  shall  be  well  with  him : 
for  they  shall  eat  the  fruit  of  their  doings. 

"  Wo  unto  the  wicked,  it  shall  be  ill  with  him  :  for  the 
reward  of  his  hands  shall  be  given  him." 

How  great  is  the  encouragement  to  the  pious  !  mav 
they  grow  and  thrive  until  they  realize  all  the  good  they 
now  anticipate. 

How  awful  the  warning  to  the  wicked  ;  may  they  repent, 
and  turn  unto  the  Lord,  while  he  is  to  be  found. 

18//(. —  "  Tims  far  the  Lord  has  led  me  on, 

Thus  far  his  power  prolongs  my  days, 
And  every  evening  shall  make  known 
Some  fresh  memorial  of  his  grjice. 

I  lay  my  body  down  to  sleep, 

Peace  is  the  pillow  for  my  head, 
While  well  appointed  angels  keep 

Their  watchful  stations  round  mv  bed." 


284 


LIFE   AND   EXl'EllIEXCE   OF 


20th.  —  How  injurious  to  a  spiritual  miml,  is  the  com- 
pany and  conversation  of  a  liglit  and  trifling  person. 

How  sweetly  do  the  moments  pass,  wlicn  all  is  hushed 
into  silence,  and  the  soul  eijoys  the  balmy  air  of  retire- 
ment and  communion  with  God.  i\Iay  deep  Im.mility  pos- 
sess my  heart,  and  wisdom  direct  my  path,  that  I  may 
make  rapid  progress  in  my  heavenly  journey. 

23cZ.  —  Rev.  S.  liusby  preached  from  John  3  :  14,15. 

"  And  as  Moses  lifted  up  the  serpent  in  the  wilderness, 
even  so  must  the  Son  of  man  be  lifted  up  : 

That  whosoever  believeth  in  him  should  not  perish,  but 
have  eternal  Hfe." 

As  the  Israelites  by  their  disobedience  to  the  commands 
of  God,  had  incurred  his  displeasure,  he  convinced  them 
of  it,  by  sending  among  them  fiery  flying  serpents  which 
bit  them,  followed  by  almost  immediate  death  ;  and  as  no 
adequate  remedy  was  prescribed,  the  people  came  to 
Moses  and  acknowledging  their  sin,  entreated  him  to  pray 
to  the  Lord  for  them,  that  they  might  be  delivered  from 
the  serpents.  And  the  Lord  said  unto  Moses,  make  thee 
a  fiery  serpent  of  brass,  and  put  it  upon  a  pole,  and  it  shall 
come  to  pass,  that  every  one  that  is  bitten  when  he  looketh 
upon  it  shall  live.  And  Moses  did  so,  and  when  those 
who  were  bitten,  looked  upon  the  brazen  serpent,  they 
lived.  Among  the  Jews,  the  brazen  serpent  Avas  consid- 
ered a  type  of  the  resurrection  —  through  it,  the  dying 
lived  ;  and  so,  by  the  voice  of  God,  they  that  were  dead, 
shall  be  raised  to  life.  As  the  serpent  was  raised  up,  so 
shall  Christ  be  lifted  up  :  as  they  who  were  stung  by  the 
fiery  serpents  were  restored  by  looking  up  to  the  brazen 
serpent,  so  those  who  arc  infected  with,  and  dying  through 
sin,  arc  healed  and  saved,  by  looking  up  to,  and  believing 
in  Christ  crucified. 


MUS.    MAKY    BRADLEY. 


28') 


'S 


Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Luke  15  :  17  — 20  ; 
the  parfihlc  of  the  prodii^al  son.  A  state  of  shi  is  a 
course  of  folly  and  madness  ;  repentance  is  a  restoration 
to  sound  sense.  The  fatlicr  kissing  hlni,  showed  his  tender 
affection  for  him. 

24:th.  —  0  thou,  -who  art  the  -wisest  and  the  best  of  all 
beings,  what  cause  I  have  to  love  and  praise  thee,  and 
yet  how  far  do  I  come  short !  How  often  do  I  resolve  to 
cleave  closer  and  live  nearer  to  thee  —  and  still  fail  in 
my  purpose.  I  see  clearly  that  I  have  no  strength  of  my 
own  to  perform  any  thing  aright,  without  the  assistance 
of  the  Holy  Spirit.  I  humbly  pray  that  the  nature  and 
seed  of  sin  may  be  destroyed  out  of  my  heart,  and  that 
the  Lord  may  implant  his  own  nature  there  —  his  new, 
best  name  of  love. 

March  Isf ^  ISoL  —  I  adore  the  eternal  Jehovah  for 
the  encouragement  I  feel,  for  the  sweet  peace  of  mind  I 
enjoy,  and  for  the  beauties  I  discover  while  meditating  in 
his  word  uiion  the  mvsteries  of  the  heaven] v  kiniidom, 
the  plan  of  salvation  through  the  merit  and  atonement  of 
my  blessed  Redeemer.  Unworthy  as  I  am,  my  soul  im- 
plores a  larger  degree  of  heavenly  love,  to  fill,  enlarge, 
and  purify  my  heart. 

2d.  — Rev.  W.  Smitlison  preached  from  Numbers  14  : 
24.  "  But  mv  servant  Caleb,  because  he  had  another 
spirit  with  him,  and  hath  followed  me  fully,  him  will  I 
bring  into  the  land  whereunto  he  went  ;  and  his  seed 
shall  possess  it."  (Aileb  had  not  only  a  bold,  generous, 
courageous,  noble,  and  heroic  spirit,  bnt  the  spirit  and 
influence  of   the   God  of  heaven  thus  raised  him  above 


28G 


LIFE   AND    EXI'ERIEXCE    OF 


humnn  inriuiotudcs  and  cartlily  fears ;    therefore  he  fol- 
lowed God  fullv. 

IIow  many  arc  retarded  in  their  course,  and  full  short 
of  the  blessings  of  the  gospel,  through  magnifying  the 
number  and  strength  of  their  adversaries,  their  own  weak- 
ness, and  the  difficulties  of  the  way,  and  distrust  the 
power,  faithfulness,  and  goodness  of  God.  Only  such 
men  as  Joshua  and  Caleb,  who  take  God  at  his  word,  and 
who  know  that  against  his  wisdom  no  cunning  can  stand, 
and  against  his  might  no  strength  can  prevail,  are  likely 
to  follow  God  fully,  and  receive  the  heights,  lengths, 
breadths,  and  depths  of  the  salvation  of  God. 

God  has  provitlcd  innumerable  spiritual  blessings  for 
mankind  ;  but  in  the  pursuit  of  earthly  good  they  lose 
them,  and  often  lose  the  others  also.  If  ye  be  wilHng 
and  obedient,  ye  shall  eat  the  fruit  of  the  land,  but  not 
otherwise;  unless  for  your  farther  punishment,  God  give 
you  your  portion  in  this  life,  and  ye  get  none  in  the  life 
to  come.  From  so  great  a  curse  may  God  save  thee, 
thou  money-loving,  honor-hunting,  pleasure-taking,  thought- 
less, godless  man  I  —  Clark. 

Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  John  16  :  33.  "  These 
things  I  have  spoken  unto  you,  that  in  me  ye  might  have 
peace.  In  the  world  ye  shall  have  tribulation  ;  but  be  of 
good  cheer,  I  have  overcome  the  world."  Luther,  wri- 
ting to  Philip  Melancthon,  quotes  this  verse,  and  adds 
these  remarkable  words :  "  Such  a  saying  as  this  is  wor- 
thy to  be  carried  from  Rome  to  Jerusalem  upon  one's 
knees." 

Blessed  Savi<5r,  nvcy  thy  precious  word  cheer  our 
hearts,  while  in  this  world  we  have  to  encounter  tribula- 
tion ;  mav  all  our  trials  and  afflictions  be  sanctified  to  us. 


MKS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


287 


that  under  Uilmii  wo  may  seek  our  peace  in  thee,  bo  thy 
children  in  deed  and  in  truth,  redeemed  and  adopted  into 
thy  family,  and  tiually  accepted  in  •^dory.  The  peace  of 
God  is  ever  to  bo  understood  as  includiipj;  all  possible 
blessedness  —  li.^ht,  streni^th,  comtort,  sup})ort,  a  sense 
of  the  divine  favor,  unction  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  purifica- 
tion of  heart,  and  all  these  to  be  enjoyed  in  Christ. 

"  Christ  is  my  Tilol  wise, 
My  compass  is  liis  word  ; 
My  soul  each  storm  defies, 

While  I  iiave  Mich  a  Lord. 
I  trust  his  faithfuhicss  and  power, 
To  save  mo  in  tiie  trviuEC  hour. 


lose 


wor- 

one's 


Thougli  rocks  and  quick.-aiids  deep, 

Tlu'ougli  nil  my  passage  lie  ; 
Yet  Clirist  sliall  safely  keep 

And  guide  me  with  his  eye. 
IIow  can  I  sink  with  such  i  prop, 
That  hears  the  w(a-ld  and  all  things  up  ?  " 

8th.  —  0  Lord,  thou  art  great  and  glorious,  long-sufter- 
ing,  plenteous  in  goodness  and  mercy  ;  thy  love  is  un- 
bounded, without  bottom  or  shore  ;  thy  promises  are  all 
yea  and  amen  in  Christ  Jesus.  Great  is  thy  truth,  and 
will  prevail ;  may  it  be  applied  to  my  heart  continually, 
and  may  divine  grace,  like  the  morning  dew,  oi-ory  mo- 
ment descend  upon  my  soul,  and  may  all  my  tp:  ings  bo 
in  thee,  the  spring  of  faith,  love,,  purity,  hope,  peace  and 
joy  ;  may  these  all  increase  more  and  more,  until  I  reach 
the  overflowing  fountain  Avhence  all  good  to  all  has  ever 
emanated,  and  to  whom  I  hope  eternally  to  ascribe  the 
glory  and  the  praise. 

0th. — Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  the  two  last 
verses  of  the  first  Psalm.     "  Therefore   the  ungodly  shall 


288 


LirK    AND    EXPKUlIiXOE   OF 


jiot  stand  iu  the  judgmcut,  nor  sinners  in  the  congrega- 
tion of  the  righteous.  For  tlic  Lord  knoweth  the  way  of 
tlie  righteous :  hut  the  way  of  tlie  ungodly  shall  perish." 
Holy  men  are  under  the  continual  eye  of  Hod's  provi- 
dence ;  he  knows  the  way  that  they  take,  approves  of 
their  motives,  purposes,  and  works,  because  they  are  all 
wrought  through  himself,  lie  provides  for  them  in  all 
exigencies,  and  defends  them  both  in  body  and  soul,  'i  he 
projects,  designs,  and  operations  of  the  ungodly  shall 
perish  ;  God's  curse  shall  be  on  all  that  they  have,  do, 
and  arc.  "  And  in  the  day  of  judgment  they  shall  be 
condemned  to  everlasting  lire  in  the  perdition  of  ungodly 
men."  —  Clark. 

In  the  sermon  on  the  judgment,  a  line  was  drawn  be- 
tween the  two  characters  to  be  judged  ;  the  righteous  en- 
couraged, and  the  sinner  entreated  to  repent  and  turn  to 
Giod.  Behold  now  is  the  day  of  salvation.  "  But  unto 
you  that  fear  my  name,  shall  the  Sun  of  righteousness 
arise  with  healing  in  his  wings ;  and  ye  shall  go  forth, 
and  grow  up  as  calves  of  the  stall.  And  ye  shall  tread 
down  the  Avicked  ;  for  they  shall  be  ashes  under  the  soles 
of  your  feet  in  the  day  that  I  shall  do  this,  saith  the 
Lord  of  hosts." —  Mai.  -i:  2,  3. 


VlOi.  —  "  What  now  is  iny  oliject  and  aim? 
Wliiit  now  is  my  liupe  and  desire-  ? 
To  follow  the  heavenly  Lamb, 
And  after  his  image  aspire." 


10^/^ — Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  2  Cor.  5:  20. 
"  Now  then  Ave  are  ambassadors  for  Christ,  as  though 
God  did  beseech  you  by  us  ;  we  pray  you  in  Christ's 
stead,  be  ye  reconciled  to  God."      Li  the  introduction, 


MRS.    MARY   CRADLLV. 


280 


:  20. 
ough 
rist's 


the  conversion  and  call  of  the  apostle  to  the  gospel  min- 
istry was  noticed. 

I.  The  ambassador  was  described :  chosen  from  among 
the  peoj;)le,  a  subject ;  well  accpuiiutcd  v.ith  the  laws  of 
the  realm,  not  a  novice  ;  receives  the  sanction  of  the  great 
seal,  sent  by  proper  authority. 

II.  The  nature  of  his  embassy  explained  :  to  represent 
the  nation  and  person  of  his  sovereign  ;  to  state  the  mat- 
ters at  issue  ;  to  propose  terms  for  reconciliation. 

III.  The  motives  by  which  he  is  influenced :  the  im- 
mortality of  the  soul ;  the  happiness  of  religion  and  the 
joys  of  heaven  ;  the  misery  of  the  wicked  and  the  torments 
of  the  damned. 

In  the  conclusion,  urged  an  immediate  reconciliation 
from  the  advantages  to  be  enjoyed,  and  the  danger  of 
resistance,  from  the  irreparable  loss  to  be  sustained. 

^^'hen  Lord  Exmouth  was  ambassador  from  England 
to  the  Algiers,  he  gave  them  to  understand,  that  if  they 
did  not  choose  to  comply  with  the  terms  proposed,  in 
one  hour  their  city  should  be  a  heap  of  ruins  about  their 
heads ! 

11th.  —  I  am  thine,  save  me.  Save  me  from  all  the 
assaults  of  Satan  ;  from  complying  with  temptation  ;  from 
indulging  in  any  sin  Avhatever  ;  from  wandering  out  of  the 
path  of  duty ;  from  pride  and  unlelief ;  from  hardness  of 
heart  and  a  prejudiced  s[>irit ;  from  grieving  thee  in  any 
wise.  May  faith,  love,  gratitude,  and  true  wisdom  guide 
me,  through  all  the  journey  of  Hfe. 

22d,—  "  0  Thou,  to  whose  all-searching  sight, 
The  darkness  shineth  as  tlie  light : 
Search,  prove  my  heart;  it  pants  for  thee; 
0  burst  these  bonds,  and  set  it  free  ! 

26* 


290 


LII'K    AND   EXPKRIENCE   OF 


Waslj  nut  its  i^tains,  roCmo,  its  dro?s; 
Null  .ny  iilVoctii)iis  to  tlin  cross  ; 
IIiillow  cacli  tlioujTht ;  lot  all  witliin 
IJc  clean,  as  Thou,  my  Lord,  art  clean  I  " 

23t/.  —  Rev.  S.  Ikisby  preached  from  Psalm  41:  4. 
*'  I  said,  Lord  bo  merciful  unto  me ;  heal  my  soul,  for  I 
liavc  sinned  against  tlicc." 

Rev.  W.  Smitlison  preached  from  Romans  1 :  10.  "  For 
I  am  not  ashamed  of  the  gospel  of  Christ :  for  it  is  the 
power  of  God  unto  salvation  to  every  one  that  believeth  ; 
to  the  Jew  first,  and  also  to  the  Greek." 

Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  the  privilege  of  a  preached 
gospel,  and  for  all  the  blessings  jnirchased  by  the  precious 
blood  of  Jesus  Christ,  lie  is  altogether  such  a  Savior  as 
I  need.  I  am  unworthy  ;  but  he  is  worth3^  I  am  weak  ; 
but  he  is  strong.  1  am  by  nature  and  practice  sinful 
and  polluted ;  but  his  efficacious  blood  cleanseth  from  all 
sin. 

"  God,  tli.i  oflonded  God  Most  High, 
Ambassadors  to  n  iicis  sends; 
His  messengers  His  place  supply, 
And  J(.'-;us  Ijogs  us  to  lie  iVieiids." 

25^/i.  —  0  Lord,  thou  seest  my  weakness,  and  how  the 
enemy  strives  to  get  the  advantage  over  me. 

"  Arm  nic  for  the  evil  day, 
'J'liut  I  in  heart  with  Tlioe  may  stay  ; 
(iird  mo  witli  Tliy  mighty  poMcr, 
And  bring  mc  through  the  trjung  hour." 


2Sth.  — Righteous  art  thou,  0  Lord,  and  all  thy  works 
are  done  in  truth. 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLliY. 


o 


291 


"  I  Ml  inaisc  my  Maker  wliilc  I've  l)n>atli, 
And  whun  my  voic*>  is  lost  in  'Icutli, 

Praii^o  shall  cmi»loy  my  nobler  powers ; 
My  diivR  of  |>niisi;  shall  nn'rr  be  past, 
\\  liik'  lilV',  ami  tluniulit,  ami  boiu^'  luit, 
Or  iiiimortalitv  ciulurcs." 


'Hdth.  —  Thanks  be  unto  the  Lord,  for  his  renewed  mer- 
cies to  his  unworthy  liandmaid,  affording  me  such  delight- 
ful discoveries  of  his  infinite  wisdom  in  the  works  of  crea- 
tion ;  but  more  especially  in  the  glorious  economy  of  hu- 
man redemption.  May  I  l.ve  to  his  glory,  walk  circum- 
spectly, meditate  upon  his  Word,  make  it  the  rule  of  my 
life,  and  may  it  sink  down  into  my  heart,  be  a  light  to  my 
feet,  and  a  lamp  to  my  path. 

Wth.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Luke  2-4: 
•47.  "  And  that  repentance  and  remission  of  sins  should, 
be  preached  in  his  name,  among  all  natioiiS,  beginning  at 
Jerusalem." 

jNIay  the  Lord  open  the  hearts  of  the  people  to  receive 
the  Word,  to  profit  and  ediiy  thorn,  as  he  opened  the  heart 
of  Lydia. 

Rev.  S.  Rusby  preached  from  Luke  24  :  34.  "  The 
Lord  is  risen  indeed,  and  hath  appeared  to  Simon."  Our 
blessed  Lord  rose  again  from  the  dead,  that  the  Scriptures 
might  be  fulfilled,  the  world  redeemed,  God  glorified, 
heaven  opened,  the  Holy  S})irit  sent  forth,  and  mankind, 
both  in  body  and  soul,  eternally  saved.  Joseph,  Isaac, 
and  Jonah,  were  types  of  Christ's  resurrection.  Joseph 
was  sold  by  his  brethren  ;  but  afterwards  raised  up  to  pro- 
vide bread  for  all  his  father's  house,  and  to  be  a  great 
governor.  Isaac  was  called  for  a  sacrifice  ;  but  became 
the  father  of  a  great  nation,  numerous  as  the  stars  of 
heaven,  and  in  whose  seed  all  the  families  of  the  earth 


292 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OP 


1 


should  be  blessed.  Jonali  was  cast  out  ;  but  raised  up 
again  to  prophecy  to  the  people.  I  trust  all  -svho  heard 
this  interesting  discourse  Avill  experience  the  benefits  of 
the  Savior's  meritorious  death,  victoiious  resurrection, 
triumphant  ascension,  and  prevalent  intercession,  and  be 
found  with  their  lamps  trimmed,  burning,  and  ready  to 
meet  the  bridegroom  of  our  souls  at  his  coming. 

Slst,  —  This  serious  suggestion  came  to  my  mind,  IIow 
do  you  know  but  that  you  are  mistaken  ?  Perhaps  when 
you  shall  be  called  to  appear  before  your  Maker,  he  will 
not  receive  you  after  all  your  comfort  and  hope  of  heaven  ? 
My  heart  replied.  Surely  that  would  be  a  great  disappoint- 
ment indeed ;  but  I  have  a  good  hope  through  grace  of 
realizing  better  things,  and  believe  through  the  atonement 
and  merit  of  uw  Redeemer,  that  he  is  all-sufficient  to  save 
and  present  me  faviltless  before  the  throne  of  his  glory, 
with  exceeding  great  joy. 

My  delight  is  in  the  Lord  ;  I  love  his  religion,  and 
cause,  and  desire  to  see  his  kingdom  flourish,  and  extend, 
and  his  name  glorified  in  the  earth,  and  in  heaven  for  ever. 


"  .Tesuf?  my  all  to  heaven  is  gone, 
He  whom  I  fix  my  hope  vpon  ; 
His  track  I  see,  and  I'll  pursxie, 
The  naiTow  way  till  Him  I  view." 


April  1st,  1834.  —  Praised  be  the  Lord  for  his  loving 
kindness  and  tender  mercies  extended  to  us,  while  many 
of  our  fellows  are  laboring  under  heavy  afflictions  of  vari- 
ous kiniiP)  ;  I  pray  the  Lord  mercifully  to  look  upon  them  ; 
especially  upon  her  who  has  been  a  great  sufferer  for  a 
long  time,  and  to  all  human  appearance  near  the  confines 
of  the  grave.     May  she  have  a  bright  evidence  of  her  ac- 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


:293 


ceptance,  and  her  heart  be  cheered  Avith  the  blessed  hope 
of  entering  into  that  rest, 


"  Where  nil  tlu^  ship's  company  moot, 

W'o  siiiled  witii  their  Savior  beneath; 
With  shouting  each  other  they  greet. 

And  triumph  o  cr  trouble  and  death  : 
The  voyage  of  life  's  at  an  eml. 

The  mortal  aflliction  is  past; 
The  age  that  hi  heaven  they  spend, 

For  ever  and  ever  sliall  last." 

Qth.  —  Mr.    Ilutchins   preached   from   Gen.    5:   24. 
"•  Enoch  walked  with  God,  and  he  was  not:  for  God  took 


nm 


?> 


"  0,  for  a  closer  walk  with  God, 
A  oalm  and  heavenly  frame  ; 
A.  light  to  shine  u[)on  the  road 
Tliat  leads  me  to  the  Lamb  !  " 

IWi.  —  Rev.  W.  Smlthson  preached  from  Acts  1:  9, 
10,  11.  "And  when  he  had  spoken  these  things,  while 
thej  beheld,  he  Avas  taken  up,  and  a  cloud  received  him 
out  of  their  sight.  And  Avhilc  thcj  looked  steadfastly 
toward  heaven,  as  he  went  up,  behold,  two  men  stood 
by  them  in  white  apparel ;  who  also  said,  Ye  men  of 
Galilee,  Avhy  stand  ye  gazing  up  into  heaven  ?  this  same 
Jesus  who  is  taken  up  from  you  into  heavtjn,  shall  so 
come,  in  like  manner  as  ye  have  seen  him  go  into  heav- 
en." 

"  Two  men  stood  by  them."  Doubtless,  angels  in  hu- 
man shape. 

"  In  white  apparel."  As  emblematical  of  their  purity, 
happiness,  and  glory. 


*« 


294 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  John  12  :  32.  "  And  I, 
if  I  be  lifted  up  from  the  earth,  will  draw  all  men  unto  me." 

The  subject  contained  in  the  text,  is  one  of  the  most 
awfully  sublime,  and  glorious  events  ever  recorded  in 
sacred  history  ;  Christ  crucified,  unto  the  Jews  a  stum- 
bling block,  and  mito  the  Greeks  foolishness  ;  but  unto  all 
who  believe,  the  power  of  God,  and  the  wisdom  of  God. 

The  doctrine  of  the  atonement,  is  one  of  the  most  ani- 
mating subjects  on  which  we  can  possibly  reflect,  though 
our  hearts  melt  under  a  sense  of  heinous  offences  which 
crucified  the  Savior  of  the  world  ;  yet  turning  the  eye  of 
our  faith  to  the  efficacious  blood  of  atonement  which  stream- 
ed down  the  consecrated  cross,  we  obtain  redemption 
through  his  blood,  the  forgiveness  of  sins. 

The  atonement  is  a  mystery  to  angels,  the  high  way  to 
heaven,  the  key  of  Paradise^  and  the  believer's  consolation 
aiiainst  the  fears  of  death. 


"  Jesus'  Ijlood  tlirougli  eiirth  JincI  skies, 
!Mercy  free,  boundless  inercy  crios." 

Our  gracious  Redeemer,  in  the  preceding  verses,  revealed 
to  his  disciples  the  awful  intelligeiice  of  his  approaching 
dissolution  ;  "  Now  is  my  soul  troubled,  this  is  the  hour 
and  power  of  darkness."  Here  his  liuman  nature  recoiled 
at  the  sight  of  the  tremendous  billows  just  bm-sting  on  his 
coveted  head  :  "  But  the  cup  which  my  Fatlier  giveth  me, 
shall  I  not  drink  it  ?  " 

Though  our  ini(|uities  encompassed  him  about,  and  wore 
laid  upon  him,  he  was  borne  up  through  the  power  of  his 
divinity  ;  hence,  the  champion  of  Israel  looking  beyond 
the  bitter  cup,  saw  that  the  dreadful  conflict  with  the 
Prince  of  darkness  would  ultimately  terminate  in  everlast- 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


295 


ing  triumphs.  Thus  his  immortal  mind  was  consoled  amid 
the  alarming  c  '3,  while  he  beheld  the  blessinojs  resultin"- 
from  the  rich  •.    usion  of  his  precious  blood. 

*'  And  I,  if  I  be  lifted  up  from  the  earth,  will  draw  all 
men  unto  me." 

We  shall  consider  : 

I.  What  is  implied  in  the  exhibition  of  the  Savior. 

II.  The  glorious  effects. 

1.  The  words  "hftedup,"  sometimes  signify  to  exalt  ; 
here  they  signify  first,  to  abase  ;  this  spake  he,  signifying 
what  death  he  should  die  ;  hence  he  was  lifted  up  upon  the 
cross.     Crucifixion  was  a  Roman  mode  of  punishment, 
practised  in  the  empire  as  long  as  it  continued  heathen  : 
but  when  the  emperor  embraced  Christianity,  this  mode  of 
punishment  ceased,  and  was  forbidden  by  supreme  author- 
ity, from  a  due  respect,  and  pious  honor  to  the  death  of 
Christ.     Crucifixion  was  so  painful  and  shameful  a  death, 
that  the  Romans  themselves  sometimes  strangled  the  per- 
son, and  afterwards  crucified  him  :  but  the  blessed  Savior 
was  not  favored  with  this  mercy.     He  was  probably  nailed 
to  the  cross  before  he  was  lifted  up,  and  then,  as  Moses 
lifted  up  the  serpent  in  the  wilderness,  even  so,  was  the 
Son  of  man  lifted  up,  that  whosoever  bolieveth  in  him 
should  not  perish,  but  have  eternal  life. 

0  sinners,  behold  your  Savior,  suspended  between  the 
heavens  and  the  earth,  raised  by  impious  hands,  amid  the 
tumults  of  blasphemous  multitudes  ;  yea,  the  scorn  and 
contempt  of  the  vilest  of  the  vile.  A^iew  liis  passion  in  all 
its  bearings,  and  say,  "  Was  ever  sorrow  like  unto  his 
sorrow  ?  " 

This  sacrificial  offering,  was  not  only  designed  to  expiate 
our  guilt,  but  to  teach  us  to  deny  ourselves  of  all  ungodli- 


29G 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIEIsCE   OF 


ncss  and  -worldly  lusts,  and  to  tal^e  up  our  cross,  and  fol- 
low him,  that  where  he  is,  we  may  he  also.  To  lift  \ip, 
signifies, 

2.  To  exalt.  Hence,  he  was  lifted  up  from  the  earth 
in  the  morning  of  the  resurrection.  Behold  the  hriglifc 
sun  of  righteousness  going  down  in  a  dark,  and  dismal 
eclipse  ;  he  bowed  his  head,  there  was  darkness  throughout 
all  the  land  of  Judca,  nature  was  convulsed,  the  rocks 
rent,  the  graves  were  opened,  the  dead  arose,  and  death 
and  hell  were  conquered.  The  eternal  sun  of  righteous- 
ness arose,  with  healing  in  his  wings,  burst  the  bars  of 
death  and  tlie  tomb,  re-assumed  his  natural  body,  and  raised 
it  from  the  dead.  Angels  made  their  appearance  in  token 
of  honor.  0,  my  soul,  join  Avith  them,  in  the  victorious 
acclamations  :  0  death,  where  is  thy  sting  ?  0  grave, 
where  is  thy  victory  ?  Him,  hath  God  exalted  with  his 
own  right  hand,  to  be  a  Prince  and  a  Savior,  to  give  re- 
pentance and  remission  of  sins. 

He  not  only  rose  again  for  our  justification,  but  as  a 
certain  pledge  of  the  resurrection  of  our  sOuls  from  a  death 
of  sin,  and  our  vile  bodies  from  the  ruins  of  mortality. 
*'  I  am  the  resurrection  and  the  life  ;  he  that  belicveth  in 
me  though  he  were  dead,  yet  sliall  lie  live,  and  he  that 
liveth  and  belicveth  in  me  shall  not  die  eternally."  0, 
that  I  could  say  to  each  of  you,  my  dear  friends,  You 
hath  he  (juickoned,  who  wei-c  once  dead  in  trespasses  and 
in  sins. 

3.  He  was  lifted  up  from  the  earth  in  his  ascension. 

"  What,  and  if  you  had  seen  the  Son  of  man  ascend- 
ing up,  where  he  was  before."  This  illustrious  champion 
came  from  heaven  as  an  invader,  to  conquer  our  formida- 
ble enemies,  sin,  death,  and  hell.     Tlis  crown  omnipotent, 


MRS.    MARY    LRADLEY, 


297 


and  fol- 
lift  up, 

e  cartli 

briglit 

dismul 

mgliout 

e  rocks 

d  death 

^litcoiis- 

Lars  of 

d  raised 

in  token 

ctorious 

grave, 

with  his 


give  re- 


lit as  a 
a  death 

Drtalitv. 

pveth  in 
he  that 
."     0, 

Is,  You 

?ses  and 


sion. 
ascend- 
1  amp  ion 
tbrmiihi- 
lipotent. 


his  shiehl  invincible,  the  heavens  his  throne,  the  earth  his 
footstool.  lie  led  captivity  captive,  and  dragged  the 
monster  death  at  his  chariot  wheels.  He  made  the  clouds 
his  chariot,  and  rode  upon  the  wings  of  the  wind.  He 
astonished  the  Galilean  spectators,  Avhen  in  the  presence 
of  angels  he  ascended  from  Mount  Olivet,  through  the 
starry  vaults  of  heaven  ;  cherubic  legions  in  loud  acclar 
mations,  shouting  him  welcome  to  the  sky.  The  gates  of 
Paradise  ^vide  unfold  their  etherial  light,  turning  upon 
their  everlasting  hinges,  while  the  heavenly  i  tclligence, 
exclaim :  "  0  ye  gates,  be  ye  lifted  up,  and  let  ilie  King  of 
Glory  come  in  !  " 

If  you  then  be  risen  with  Cln-ist,  seek  those  things  which 
are  above,  where  Christ  sitteth  at  the  right  hand  of  God. 
This  lifting  up  of  the  Savior  implies, 

4.  His  being  exalted  on  the  pole  of  the  gospel  ;  for  as 
Moses  lifted  up  the  serpent  in  the  wilderness,  even  so, 
shall  the  Son  of  man  be  lifted  up.  Every  true  minister 
of  Christ,  is  a  ro\'al  captain,  com'  lissioned  to  unfurl  the 
banners  of  the  cross,  and  extol  the  Captain  of  our  salva- 
tion, and  to  make  mention  that  his  name  is  exalted  ;  to 
blow  the  trumpet  in  Zion,  for  he  hath  done  excellent 
things  ;  this  is  known  in  all  the  earth. 

They  exhibit  the  Saior  by  declaring  his  attributes  as 
omniscient,  omnipotent,  and  omnipresent  ;  his  perfections 
as  infallible,  and  his  offices  of  Prophet,  Priest,  and  King, 
three  titles  never  assumed  by  any  person,  but  the  Infi- 
nite, the  Man  Christ  Jesus. 

Thus  they  lift  him  up  upon  the  pole  of  the  gospel,  and 
whereas,  the  poor  envenomed,  serpent-bitten  Israelite  look- 
ed to  the  brazen  serpent  and  was  healed,  so  the  lin-bitten 
sons  of  Adam,  must  look  with  the  eye  of  faith  on  him 
2G 


298 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


whom  they  have  pierced,  and  be  healed  of  all  their  spirit- 
ual maladies.  The  blood  of  Jesus  is  an  antidote,  which 
extracts  all  the  venom  of  the  Old  Serpent.  Moses  lifted 
the  brazen  serpent  so  high,  that  all  might  see  it.  On  this 
account,  the  ministers  of  the  glorious  gospel,  are  author- 
ized to  cry  to  all.  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God,  who  taketh 
away  the  sin  of  the  world. 

This  brings  me  to  consider, 

II.  The  effects  produced  :  "  I  will  draw  all  men  unto 
me."  This  is  not  to  be  understood  absolutely,  or  uncon- 
ditionally ;  for  Jesus  was  constrained  to  say,  "  How  often 
would  I  have  gathered  thy  children  together,  even  as  a 
hen  gathereth  her  chickens  under  her  wings,  and  ye  would 
not." 

Neither  does  Christ  establish  his  kingdom  by  the  sword 
of  war,  or  an  horrid  inquisition  :  but  by  the  mild  banners 
of  love,  "  Him  that  cometh  unto  me  I  will  in  no  wise  cast 
out."     Consider, 

2.  That  man  by  nature  is  at  an  awful  distance  from 
God  :  "  All  we  like  sheep  have  gone  astray,  we  have 
turned  every  man  to  his  own  way."  We  have  wandered 
on  the  dark  mountains  of  error  and  sin  ;  we  have  loved 
darkness  rather  than  light,  because  our  deeds  were  evil ; 
the  way  of  peace  we  have  not  known  ;  our  hearts  and 
affections  are  astray,  deeply  alienated  from  the  Most  High 
God.  What  a  mercy,  that  we  have  not  wandered  so  far 
in  the  deserts  of  sin  as  not  to  be  able  to  return,  that  the 
judgments  of  God,  and  the  fury  of  Satan  have  not  precipi- 
tated us  into  everlasting  ruin.  0  let  us  now  return  unto  the 
Shepherd  and  Bishop  of  our  souls. 

3.  These  words  intimate  that  Christ  has  made  a  suffi- 
eient  atonement  for  the  sins  of  all  men,  or  he  could  not 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


299 


draw  all  men,  for  there  is  no  other  name  under  heaven 
whereby  we  can  be  saved,  but  through  Christ.  "  I  am 
the  way,  the  truth,  and  the  life  ; "  and  that  none  might 
despair  of  mercy,  he  willingly  gave  his  life  a  ransom  for 
all,  and  graciously  tasted  death  for  every  man,  and  his 
language  to  all  men  now  is,  come  unto  me  all  ye  ends  of 
the  earth  and  be  ye  saved. 

4.  To  draw,  signifies  to  entice,  or  allure. 

The  ministers  of  Christ  are  wise  in  winning  souls  as 
spiritual  fishermen  :  they  let  down  the  net  on  the  right 
side  of  the  ship,  and  enclose  a  multitude  of  precious  souls 
to  the  glory  of  God.  The  gospel  is  every  way  calculated 
to  allure  precious  souls  ;  it  is  eyes  to  the  blind,  feet  to  the 
lame,  liberty  to  the  captive,  food  to  the  hungry,  drink  to 
the  thirsty,  healtli  to  the  sick,  yea,  life  to  the  dead.  In 
fact  there  is  every  thing  in  the  gospel  our  souls  can  possi- 
bly need.  Hear  the  Savior  on  this  subject ;  "  Go,  tell 
John,  the  blind  see,  the  lame  walk,  the  lepers  are  cleansed, 
the  deaf  hear,  the  dead  are  raised  up,  and  unto  the  poor 
the  gospel  is  preached." 

5.  How  does  God  entice  and  allure  ? 

1.  Undoubtedly  by  the  unction  of  his  Spirit,  by  his  as. 
cension  into  heaven  the  Holy  Spirit  descended  :  "  When  I 
go,  I  will  send  you  another  comforter,  even  the  spirit  of 
truth,  and  when  the  Holy  Ghost  is  come,  he  will  con- 
vince the  world  of  sin,  and  of  righteousness,  and  of  judg- 
ment." It  is  the  office  of  the  divine  Spirit,  to  open  the 
eyes  of  our  understanding,  and  to  purify  our  hearts  by 
His  refining  influences. 

Let  us,  therefore,  thus  anoint  our  eyes  with  eye-salve, 
that  we  may  see  the  things  which  belong  to  our  peace,  be- 
fore they  are  forever  hid  from  our  eyes. 


800 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


2.  He  will  draw  them  bj  tlic  excellencv  of  his  doctrine. 
It  is  so  suitable,  so  ciicoura.^ing  ;  there  is  no  state  in  the 
present  life,  to  which  it  cannot  administer  comfort,  and  en- 
couragement to  Christian  believers,  in  temptation,  afflic- 
tion, and  death. 

3.  By  the  miracles  attending  the  preaching  of  it.  The 
High  Priest  of  our  profession  did  not  choose  the  wise 
Scribe,  or  learned  Rabbles ;  but  twelve  fishermen,  and 
those  without  the  aid  of  secular  interest  or  protection, 
ventured  to  propagate  the  doctrines  of  Christianity  all 
abroad,  at  the  hazard  of  their  lives.  Thus  they  healed 
the  sick,  raised  the  dead,  cast  out  devils,  vanquished  their 
judges,  confounded  their  adversaries  ;  so  mightily  grew 
the  word  of  the  Lord,  and  prevailed.  They  were  stoned, 
imprisoned,  and  vilely  treated  :  but  the  more  Christianity 
was  persecuted,  the  more  the  kingdom  of  Christ  was  ex- 
tended ;  so  that  Jew  and  Gentile,  were  proselyted  to  the 
faith. 

4.  A  variety  of  other  means  might  be  mentioned,  such 
as  the  use  of  the  press  ;  the  Bible  Society ;  the  prayers  of 
the  righteous  ;  Sunday  School  exertions  ;  the  benevolence 
of  the  public.  All  powerful  instruments,  for  pulling  down 
the  strong  holds  of  ignorance,  sin,  and  Satan. 

5.  Some  think  the  text  has  reference  to  soldiers  lifting 
up  their  banner,s  in  an  enemy's  country ;  it  certainly  cor- 
responds with  that  notable  prophecy  in  the  eleventh  of 
Isaiah,  "And  he  shall  set  up  an  ensign  for  the  nations, 
and  shall  assemble  the  outcasts  of  Israel,  and  gather 
together  the  dispersed  of  Judah  from  the  four  corners  of 
the  earth." 

The  Captain  of  our  salvation  is  now  lifting  up  the  invin- 
cible banner  of  the  cross,  and  unto  Him  the  nations  of 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


301 


The 


the  earth  arc  returning ;  flying  as  a  cloud,  and  as  doves 
to  their  windows  ;  the  north  is  giving  up,  and  the  south  is 
not  keeping  back.  His  sons  are  coming  from  far,  and  his 
daughters  from  the  ends  of  the  earth.  Wo  have  abundant 
cause  to  rejoice  in  the  prosperity  of  missionary  exertions, 
and  the  numerous  revivals  of  religion  at  the  present 
day.  May  the  ministers  of  Jesus  cry  aloud,  speak  and 
spare  not ;  lift  up  their  voice  like  a  trumpet,  and  declare 
unto  Israel  their  sin,  and  unto  the  people  their  transgress- 
ion ;  for  if  the  trumpet  give  an  uncertain  sound,  who  shall 
prepare  himself  to  the  battle  ? 

6.  It  has  been  supposed,  that  our  Lord  had  reference  to 
the  ancients,  spoken  of  by  Homer,  who  believed  that 
Jupiter  had  a  chain  of  gold,  which  he  could  at  any  time 
let  down  from  heaven,  and  draw  the  earth  and  its  inhabi- 
tants to  himself.  Though  a  fable,  it  may  serve  to  illus- 
trate our  Savior's  design.  Gold  is  pure  ;  the  gospel  is 
the  pure  word  of  God,  and  by  its  contents,  purifies  the 
soul  of  man ;  the  Word  hnks,  or  unites  all  believers  to 
Christ,  and  like  gold,  there  is  nothing  so  valuable  as  the 
gospel,  except  the  soul  it  is  designed  to  save. 

The  gospel  chain  is  so  long,  that  it  will  reach  round  tba 
whole  earth,  and  so  strong  in  the  hand  of  Omnipotence, 
that  he  will  draw  all  in  every  nation  who  believe  the  gos- 
pel, up  to  heaven,  to  reign  with  him  for  ever. 

May  we  all  be  found  in  that  happy  circle. 


APPLICATION. 

1.  My  dear  friends,  are  you  being  drawn  by  the  attract- 
ing magnet  of  the  gospel,  to  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  ?    Do 
you  experience  the  virtue  of  his  death,  and  the  power  of 
his  resurrection  ?    Has  he  quickened  your  souls  together 
26* 


302 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


with  him  ?  Are  you  risen  with  Christ,  and  seeking  those 
things  which  arc  above,  where  Christ  sitteth  at  the  right 
hand  of  God  ?  Has  Christ  done  so  miicli  for  yon,  and 
will  you  refuse  his  kind  offers  and  invitations  !  0  !  what 
black  ingratitude  !  Did  he  die  for  you,  an  ignominious 
death,  out  of  real  pity,  and  mercy  to  your  immortal  spirits, 
and  will  you  show  no  mercy,  no  compassion  on  your  own 
souls  ?  Turn  ye,  turn  ye,  for  why  will  ye  die,  0  ye  house 
of  Israel  ? 

2.  God,  in  the  words  of  the  text,  leaves  you  without  ex- 
cuse ;  he  has  made  ample  provision  for  your  souls ;  he  in- 
vites,he  allures,  he  declares  himself  a  sufficient  sacrifice  for 
your  sin.     0  believe  and  enter  into  rest. 

3.  Happy  are  you  who  have  fled  to  the  standard  of  the 
cross  and  have  entered  into  covenant  with  him.  0  !  cleave 
unto  him  with  purpose  of  heart,  and  he  will  save  you  for 
ever  :  But  remember,  0  wicked,  disobedient  soul,  the  text 
shall  shortly  be  verified,  the  Lord  Jesus  shall  be  lifted 
up  on  his  great  white  throne.  Then  will  he  draw  all  men 
unto  him.  All  who  have  been  unwilling  to  come  at  his  kind 
invitation  to  the  throne  of  grace,  shall  be  compelled  to 
come  to  the  throne  of  judgment,  and  receive  their  final 
sentence. 

May  you  all  now  accept  of  mercy,  through  Jesus 
Christ,  Amen. 

"  0,  for  n  tninipe'  voiro, 

On  all  the  world  to  cull  I 
To  bid  their  hearts  rejoice 

In  him  who  died  for  all  I 
For  all  my  Lord  was  crucified  : 
For  all,  for  all,  my  Savior  died  !  " 

ISth.  —  0  thou,  whoso  all-seeing  eye  penetrates  the 
most  secret  thought  of  every  heart,  give  me  unfeigned 


MRS.    MARY    RRADLEY. 


303 


thoso 
iirht 


3  r  _ 
u,  and 
!  what 
ninious 
spirits, 
ur  own 
5  house 

out  ex- 
he  in- 
ifice  for 

I  of  the 
I  cleave 
you  for 
the  text 
e  lifted 
all  men 
his  kind 
elled  to 
sir  final 

1  Jesus 


•ates  the 
ifeigned 


humility,  lively  faith,  perfect  love,  and  holy  enjoyments; 
for  I  esteem  thy  favor  ))cttcr  than  natural  life.  May  I 
enjoy  it  in  all  its  plenitude,  for  ever. 

20///. — Rev.  8.  Busby  preached  from  Isaiah  TjS  :  1. 
"  Who  hath  believed  our  report  ?  and  to  whom  is  the  arm 
of  the  Lord  revealed?  "  May  this  interesting  discourse, 
in  its  happy  effects  upon  the  minds  of  the  hearers,  be  found 
after  many  days. 

"  But  0,  why  this  dull  and  Hfclcps  fraine  V 
Can  they  be  worse  wlio  never  heard  thy  name  ?  " 

Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from   Rev.   20:  11,  12. 

"  And  I  saw  a  great  white  throne,  and  him  that  sat  on  it, 
from  whose  face  the  earth  and  the  heaven  fled  away,  and 
there  was  found  no  place  for  them.  And  I  saw  the  dead, 
small  and  great,  stand  before  God  ;  and  the  books  were 
opened:  and  another  book  was  opened,  which  is  the  book 
of  life ;  and  the  dead  were  judged  out  of  those  things 
which  were  written  in  the  books,  according  to  their  works. 
Blessed  be  the  name  of  tlie  Lord  for  this  evening's  dis- 
course. May  we  all  be  prepared  for  death,  judgment, 
and  eternity,  hearing  the  still,  small  voice  saying  unto  us. 
This  is  the  way,  walk  ye  in  it. 

21th.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  1  John  3  :  10. 
"  In  this  the  children  of  God  are  manifest,  and  the  chil- 
dren of  the  devil ;  Avhosocvcr  doeth  not  righteousness  is 
not  of  God,  neither  he  that  loveth  not  his  brother."  May 
we  not  be  forgetful  hearers  of  the  word,  but  doers  of  the 
work.  May  those  persons,  whose  consciences  testify  that 
they  are  not  the  children  of  God,  be  truly  alarmed,  and 
fly  for  refuge  to  the  Lord  Jesus,  and  never  rest  until 


804 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


their  hearts  bo  changed,  and  they  become  the  children  of 
God,  in  deed  and  in  truth. 

"  0  plorioiiH  bliss  !  0  blcssofl  nhorlc  ! 
I  sliall  1)0  near,  nml  like  my  Goil  !  " 

Mai/  Is^,  1834.  —  I  rejoice  in  a  prayer-hearing  and  a 
prayer-answering  God  ;  may  I  be  enabled  to  cleave  to  him 
with  all  the  desires  and  affections  of  ray  soul,  and  set  out 
afresh  in  the  divine  life,  so  to  run,  that  I  may  obtain  the 
prize  promised  to  all  those  who  love  and  long  for  his  ap- 
pearing. 

"  Sweet  the  moments,  rich  In  blessing, 
Which  before  the  cross  I  spend  ; 
Life,  and  health,  and  peace  possessing, 
rrom  the  pinner's  dying  friend." 

4^7i.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  1  Cor.  15 :  34. 
*'  Awake  to  righteousness  cand  sin  not ;  for  some  have  not 
the  knowledge  of  God  :  I  speak  this  to  your  shame."  May 
those  who  have  not  obtained  a  knowledge  of  God,  be  truly 
humbled  under  a  sense  of  their  guilt  and  danger,  and 
never  rest  without  a  knowledge  of  salvation,  by  the  remis- 
sion of  their  sins. 

Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Isa.  bo  :  6.  "  Seek 
ye  the  Lord  while  he  may  be  found,  call  ye  upon  him  while 
he  is  near." 

Glory  be  to  thy  name,  0  Lord,  for  the  infinite  mercy, 
love,  and  goodness,  extended  to  us  thy  unworthy  creatures  ; 
far  from  God,  on  the  bleak  mountains  of  sin  and  folly, 
ready  to  perish ;  we  hear  thy  voice,  return  and  live  ;  for 
thy  mercy  endureth  forever. 

"  Take  my  poor  heart  and  let  it  be, 
Forever  closed  to  all  but  Thee  ; 
Seal  Thou  my  breast,  and  let  me  wear 
That  pledge  of  lovo  forever  there." 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLFT. 


805 


11th. —  Rev.  A.  De^^irisay  preached  from  2  Kings  0  : 
16.  "  And  ho  answered,  fear  nut :  for  they  that  he  with 
lis,  arc  more  tlian  they  tliat  he  with  tliem."  May  this 
lii;^hly  onc()ura;4in;^  |>ass5a;^e,  aff'vd  mo  lasting  conifurt,  un- 
der all  the  future  diiheuities  of  life,  and  greatly  increase 
my  faith  in  (Jod. 

Rev.  11.  Daniel  preaeliod  from  V^h.  1 :  Dj,  14.  "  In 
Avhom  ye  also  trusted,  after  that  ye  heard  the  >vor(l  of 
truth,  the  gospel  of  your  salvation:  in  whom  also,  after 
that  ye  helievcd,  ye  were  sealed  with  that  Holy  S[iirit  of 
promise,  which  is  the  earnest  of  our  inheritance,  until  the 
redemption  of  the  purchased  possession,  unto  the  jtraise  of 
his  glory." 

God  has  no  child  who  is  not  a  partaker  of  the  Holy 
Ghost,  and  he  who  has  this  spirit,  has  God's  seal  that  ho 
helongs  to  the  heavenly  family.  And  they  who  in  the  day 
of  judgment  are  found  to  hear  this  seal,  truth  —  truth 
in  the  inward  parts,  having  truly  repented,  truly  helicved, 
and  having  heen  in  consecpience  truly  justified,  and  truly 
sanctified,  and  having  walked  in  truth  and  sincerity 
towards  God  and  man,  these  are  sealed  to  the  day  of  re- 
demption ;  for,  having  this  seal,  they  are  seen  to  have  a 
right  to  eternal  life. 

loth.  —  Blessed  be  the  name  of  the  Lord  for  the  privi- 
lege of  hearing  his  precious  truth  preached  and  liis  name 
magnified.  Great  have  heen  his  works  of  providence  and 
grace,  in  bringing  the  children  of  Israel  out  of  the  land  of 
Egypt  by  the  hand  of  Moses  and  Aaron ;  they  went 
through  the  Red  Sea  on  dry  land.  The  pillar  of  cloud  by 
day  and  the  pillar  of  fire  by  night,  to  direct  them  until 
they  arrived  in  the  promised  land.  A  beautiful  figure  of 
our  spiritual  journey  through  this  world,  until  we  arrive  in 


306 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


the  heavenly  Jerusalem  above,  guided  by  the  great  Cap- 
tain of  our  salvation. 

IGih. —  "  Thus  far  the  Lord  has  led  me  on, 

Thus  far  his  power  prolongs  my  days, 
And  every  evening  shall  make  known 
Some  fresh  memorial  of  his  grace." 

ISth.  —  This  morning  Mr.  II.  preached  from  1  Peter  1 : 
8.  "  Whom  having  not  seen,  ye  love  ;  in  whom,  though 
now  ye  see  him  not,  yet  believing,  ye  rejoice  with  joy  un- 
speakable, and  full  of  glory."  Praise  the  Lord  for  the 
exalted  privileges  of  his  house  ;  reading  and  hearing  the 
gospel.  I  pray  that  it  may  resemble  the  good  seed  on  the 
good  ground,  and  spring  up  and  bear  fruit  abundantly.  The 
Lord  enable  me  to  meditate  much  upon  his  holy  Word, 
and  give  me  an  understanding  heart.  I  ask  not  riches  or 
length  of  days  ;  but  that  wisdom  which  cometh  from  above, 
unto  which  ail  the  riches  on  earth  are  not  to  be  compared. 
*'  If  my  Word  abide  in  you,  and  ye  abide  in  me,  ye  shall 
ask  what  ye  will,  and  it  shall  be  granted  you."  May  no 
self  exalting  thought  be  suffered  to  have  place  in  my  mind 
or  heart  for  one  moment.  It  is  Satan's  design,  by  pride, 
if  possible,  to  rob  Christians  of  their  armor,  and  weaken  all 
the  graces  of  the  spirit,  so  that  they  lose  the  power  and 
inclination  to  resist  him.  Lord  help  me  to  watch  and  pray, 
and  strive  to  walk  in  the  narrow  way,  until  all  the  work  of 
grace  be  completed,  and  I  safely  reach  the  fountain  of  joy 
and  the  life  of  my  delights. 

"  0,  what  shall  I  do  my  Savior  to  praise, 
So  faithful  and  true,  so  plenteous  in  grace  ; 
So  strong  to  deliver,  so  good  to  redeem, 

The  weakest  believer  that  hangs  upon  him  !  " 

25th.  —  Rev.  R.  Williams  preached  from  1  Cor.  9 :  24. 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


307 


eat  Cap- 


Peter  1 : 
n,  though 
h  joy  un- 
i  for  the 
aring  the 
Bed  on  the 
itly.   The 
oly  Word, 
:  riches  or 
'om  above, 
compared. 
J,  ye  shall 
May  no 
I  my  mind 

by  pride, 
weaken  all 
ower  and 

and  pray, 
le  work  of 

;aln  of  joy 


"  Know  ye  not  that  they  which  run  in  a  race,  run  all :  but 
one  receiveth  the  prize  ?  So  run  that  ye  may  obtain." 
The  apostle  places  the  Christian  race  in  contrast  to  the 
Isthmian  games,  in  which,  though  all  run,  only  one  received 
the  prize  ;  in  this,  if  all  run,  all  will  receive  the  prize. 

*'  The  race  we  all  are  running  now ; 
And  if  I  first  attain, 
They,  too,  their  willing  heads  shall  bow, 
They,  too,  the  prize  shall  gain." 

Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Acts  8  :  35.  "  Then 
Philip  opened  his  mouth,  end  began  at  the  same  Scripture, 
and  preached  unto  him  Jesus." 

What  a  mercy  that  ever  the  blessed  name  of  Jesus  was 
introduced  into  this  world ;  that  ever  our  ears  heard  the 
joyful  sound  of  salvation,  through  the  atonement  of  Jesus 
Christ. 

*'  Why  was  I  made  to  liear  His  voice, 
And  enter  while  there 's  room  ; 
While  thousands  make  the  wretched  choice. 
And  rather  starve  than  come." 

Glory  be  to  God,  for  his  unbounded  love  ! 

The  Lord  prepare  me  for  the  approaching  Sabbath  ; 
all  its  important  duties  and  delightful  services  ;  may  ho 
eradicate  from  my  mind  whatever  would  hinder  the  opera- 
tion of  his  Holy  Spirit ;  may  my  soul  be  greatly  refreshed, 
and  strongly  fortified  against  all  the  assaults  of  Satan. 

"  How  very  weak  I  am, 

My  Savior  well  can  see  ; 
0  how  exceeding  short  I  come, 
Of  what  I  ought  to  be  !  " 


or.  9 :  24. 


June  !«?,  1834.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Deut. 


m 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OP 


33  ;  29.  "  Happy  art  thou,  0  Israel :  who  is  like  unto 
tliec,  0  people  saved  hy  the  Lord."  0,  the  happiness  of 
Israel !  it  is  ineifahle,  inconceivable,  because  they  arc  a 
people  saved  by  the  Lord — have  such  a  salvation  as  it 
becomes  the  perfections  of  God  to  bestow ;  he  is  their 
help,  their  never-failing  strength,  and  the  shield  of  that 
help  ;  he  defends  their  defence,  saves  them  and  preserves 
them  in  the  state  of  salvation. 

Rev.  A.  McNutt  preached  from  Matt.  5:  20.  "  I  say 
unto  you,  That  except  your  righteousness  shall  exceed  the 
righteousness  of  the  scribes  and  Pharisees,  ye  shall  in  no 
case  enter  into  the  kingdom  of  heaven."  Unless  your 
righteousness  take  in,  not  only  the  letter,  but  the  spirit  and 
design  of  the  moral  and  ritual  precept  —  the  one  directing 
you  how  to  walk  so  as  to  please  God  ;  the  otlier  pointing 
out  Christ,  the  great  atonement,  through  and  by  which  a 
sinner  is  enabled  to  do  so  —  it  is  no  more  than  that  of  the 
scribes  and  Pharisees,  who  only  attended  to  the  letter  of 
the  law,  and  had  indeed  made  even  that  of  no  effect  by 
their  traditions. 

I  have  greatly  enjoyed  this  day's  sittings  under  the 
droppings  of  the  sanctuary.  May  I  always  have  in  exer- 
cise that  faith  which  brings  salvation  to  the  soul,  unites  me 
to  God,  keeps  me  humble,  meek,  and  lowly. 

Sth. —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  2  Thes.  3  :  1. 
*'  Finally,  brethren  pray  for  us,  that  the  Word  of  the  Lord 
may  have  free  course,  and  be  glorified  even  as  it  is  with 
you."  I  pray  to  be  cleansed  from  all  sin,  having  an  utter 
detestation  and  abhorrence  of  it,  and  the  very  appearance 
of  it ;  and  that  every  temper  and  disposition  in  me  may 
be  subdued  and  sanctified  ;  that  all  my  powers  may  unite 
to  praise  the  Lord.     I  trust  that  the  exhortation  to  pray 


MRS.    MAUY    BRADLEY. 


309 


ke  unto 
liness  of 
;y  are  a 
311  as  it 
is  their 
of  that 
reserves 

"  I  say 
ceed  the 
ill  in  no 
3SS  your 
pirit  and 
lirecting 
pointing 
which  a 
it  of  the 
letter  of 
ffect  by 

ider  the 
in  exer- 
nites  me 

!S.  3  :  1. 
:he  Lord 
t  is  with 
an  utter 
)carance 
me  may 
ay  unite 
I  to  pray 


for  our  ministers,  and  for  all  mankind,  will  have  a  good 
effect. 

Rev.  R.  Williams  preached  from  Matt.  IG  :  20.  "  For 
what  is  a  man  profited,  if  he  shall  gain  the  whole  world, 
and  lose  his  own  soul  ?  or  what  shall  a  man  give  in  ex- 
change for  his  soul  ?  "  The  salvation  of  the  soul  is  diffi- 
cult, necessary,  and  important.  The  world,  the  devil,  and 
a  man's  own  heart,  ai'c  opposed  to  his  salvation  ;  therefore 
it  is  difficult.  The  soul  was  made  for  God,  and  can  never 
he  united  to  him  nor  be  happy,  till  saved  from  sin  :  there- 
fore it  is  necessary.  lie  who  is  saved  from  his  sin,  and 
united  to  God,  possesses  the  utmost  felicity  that  the  human 
soul  can  enjoy,  either  in  this  or  the  coming  world ;  there- 
fore this  salvation  is  important. 

May  the  solemn  truths  spoken  this  evening,  deeply  im- 
press the  minds  of  the  people  to  be  more  diligent  and  faith- 
ful, to  make  their  caUing  and  election  sure. 

11^/i. — I  feel  the  force  of  the  admonition,  "  Fret  not 
thyself  because  of  evil  doers,  neither  be  thou  envious 
against  the  workers  of  inifpiity ;  "  having  felt  strongly 
tempted  to  indulge  a  hard  spirit  against  an  individual  upon 
sundry  occasions.  May  the  designs  of  Satan  against  me 
be  entirely  defeated  ;  the  Spirit  of  the  Lord  lifting  up  a 
standard  against  him  ;  and  by  giving  me  grace  and  strength 
to  conquer  all  my  inward  and  outward  foes.  Great  is  the 
mercy  and  love  of  Christ  to  me,  that  ho  should  have  suf- 
fered the  loss  of  all  things, 

"  My  worthless  heart  to  gain, 
The  God  of  uU  thiit  breathe, 
W'as  found  in  I'asliion  as  a  man, 
And  died  a  cursed  deatli. 


(><• 


310 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


"  Thonpli  late  I  all  forsake, 
My  friends,  my  all  resign; 
Gr.acious  Redeemer,  take,  0  take, 
And  seal  rnc  ever  tliine  I  " 

lith.  —  How  empty  are  all  worldly  enjoyments,  short 
of  the  love  of  God,  that  inexhaustible  fountain  of  bliss  and 
happiness ;  briars  and  thorns  strew  all  the  ways  of  life, 
but  glory  be  to  that  kind  friend  who  has  promised  rest,  and 
gone  to  prepare  mansions  above,  where  trees  of  life  bear 
fruits  of  love. 

16th.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Matt.  6:  10. 
*'  Thy  kingdom  come."  The  ancient  Jews  scrupled  not 
to  say,  He  prays  not  at  all,  in  whose  prayers  there  is  no 
mention  of  the  kingdom  of  God.  They  were  accustomed 
to  say,  Let  him  cause  his  kingdom  to  reign,  and  his  re- 
demption to  flourish  ;  and  let  the  Messiah  speedily  come 
and  deliver  his  people  ;  the  universal  sway  of  the  sceptre 
of  Christ ;  God  has  promised  that  the  kingdom  of  Christ 
shall  be  exalted  above  all  kingdoms.  —  Dan.  7  :  16  -  27. 

Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  2  Cor.  6:2.  "  Be- 
hold, now  is  the  accepted  time ;  behold,  now  is  the  day  of 
salvation."  0,  may  thy  kingdom  come  in  deed  and  in 
truth,  with  power  into  my  heart  and  the  hearts  of  all  man- 
kind. May  all  our  eftbrts  be  directed  to  the  glory  of  thy 
holy  name,  and  may  my  heart  bo  continually  aspirin <>•  after 
thee,  the  great  source  of  all  happiness,  light,  life,  and 
glory  ;  0,  fill  my  heart  with  thy  likeness,  that  it  may  reflect 
the  same  imcige  in  its  degree. 


"  Thy  side  an  open  fountain  is, 
Wlijrc  all  may  freely  go, 
And  drink  the  living  streams  of  bliss, 
And  wash  them  white  as  snow." 


MRS.   MARY   BRADLEY. 


811 


!,  short 
iss  and 
of  life, 
;st,  and 
fe  bear 

6:  10. 

led  not 
re  is  no 
istomed 
I  his  re- 
ly come 
sceptre 
Christ 
tt.6-27. 
"Be- 
day  of 
and  in 
all  man- 
of  thy 
ng  after 
ife,  and 
y  reflect 


11th. — 0,how  swiftly  short !  time  is  flitting  into  eternity. 
If  thou  "wast  strict  to  mark  mv  defects,  and  I  had  no  in- 
tercessor,  what  would  become  of  me  ?  Heaven  bless  my 
dear  companion  ;  I  thank  thee  for  sparing  him  to  me  so 
long ;  bless  all  near  and  dear  to  me  by  the  ties  of  nature  ; 
may  we  all  be  found  in  the  ranks  of  the  glorified. 

19^A.  —  When  I  read  in  the  book  of  Providence,  which 
has  been  opened  to  me  in  mercy  ever  since  I  have  been 
able  to  comprehend  and  reflect,  I  am  astonished  at  the 
goodness,  patience,  and  forbearance,  and  admire  the 
riches  of  grace,  so  bountifully  extended  to  me  :  but  when 
I  survey  the  wonderful  works  of  creation,  the  scheme  of 
redemption,  wisdom,  love,  pity,  sacrifice,  atonement,  resur- 
rection, and  ascension,  and  intercession  of  my  dear  Re- 
deemer, I  am  lost  in  thouglit,  I  am  straightened  in  lan- 
guage, I  am  as  nothing  before  thee  ! 

"  0  coulil  I  lose  myself  in  tlico, 
TJiy  depth  of  mercy  prove. 
Thou  Yii«t,  niiftithomablc  sea 
Of  unexhausted  love  I 

22c?.  — Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  James  4  :  7,  8. 
"  Submit  yourselves,  therefore,  to  God.,  Resist  the  devil, 
and  he  will  flee  from  you. 

Draw  nigh  to  God,  and  he  will  draw  nigh  to  you. 
Cleanse  your  hands,  ye  sinners,  and  purify  your  hearts, 
ye  double-minded." 

He,  Avho  in  the  terrible  name  of  Jesus,  opposes  even  the 
devil  himself,  is  sure  to  have  a  speedy  and  glorious  con- 
quest. He  flees  from  that  name,  and  from  his  conquering 
blood. 

Sanctification  belongs  to  the  heart,  because  of  pollution 
of  mind  ;  cleansing  belongs  to  the  hands,  because  of  sinful 
acts. 


312 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


When  a  soul  sets  out  to  seek  God,  God  sets  out  to  meet 
that  soul  ;  so  that  while  we  arc  drawing  near  to  him,  he 
is  drawin<2:  near  to  us. 

l?ev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  IIcItcws  9  :  27.  "  It  is 
appointed  unto  men  once  to  die  :  but  after  this  the  judg- 
ment." A  funeral  sermon,  for  Miss  S.  Hutchison,  who 
died  happy  in  the  Lord.  May  this  be  both  warning  and 
encouragement  to  our  young  friends,  to  remember  their 
Creator  in  the  days  of  their  youth.  Behold  now  is  the 
accepted  time,  behold  now  is  the  day  of  salvation. 

•'  Time,  wliat  an  empty  vnpor  'tis, 
And  'lays,  haw  swift  they  are  ; 
Swift  as  nil  Indian's  arrow  flies, 
And  like  a  shooting  star." 

2dt7i.  —  Bcv.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Rom.  8  :  13. 
"  Fur  as  many  are  led  by  the  spirit  of  God,  they  are  the 
sons  of  God." 

The  Spirit  of  God  is  the  great  agent  here  below,  to  en- 
ligliten,  quicken,  strengthen,  and  guide  the  true  disciples 
of  Christ  ;  and  all  who  are  born  of  this  spirit  are  led  and 
guided  by  it  ;  and  none  can  pretend  to  be  the  children  of 
God,  who  are  not  thus  guided  by  it. 


"  Come,  Holy  Ghost,  for  thee  I  call. 
Spirit  of  burning,  come  I  " 

B.ev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Ps.  40  :  3,  4,  5. 
"  Our  God  shall  come,  and  shall  not  keep  silence  :  a  fire 
shall  devour  before  him,  and  it  shall  be  very  tempestuous 
round  about  him. 

"  He  shall  call  to  the  heavens  from  above,  and  to  the 
earth,  that  he  may  judge  his  people. 


meet 
m,  he 


''  It  is 

1,  who 

ig  and 

V  their 

is  the 


JMRS.   MARY   BRADLEY. 


313 


^  :  13. 

are  the 

to  en- 

isciples 

;d  and 

Iren  of 


1,  4,  5. 
a  fire 

estuous 

to  the 


a 


Gather  my  saints  together  unto  me  ;  those  that  have 
made  a  covenant  with  me  b}'  sacrifice." 

"  The  approach  of  the  judge  is  proclaimed.  Our  God 
shall  come.  The  trumpet  proclaims  his  approach  :  He 
shall  not  keep  silence.  Universal  nature  shall  be  shaken  ; 
the  earth  and  its  work^i  be  burnt  up.  The  witnesses  are 
summoned  ;  He  shall  call  to  the  heavens  from  above,  and 
to  the  earth,  that  he  may  judge  his  people.  Orders  are 
issued  ;  we  are  told  who  they  are  Avho  shall  enter  into 
the  joy  of  their  Lord  :  Gather  my  saints  together  unto  me  — 
those  who  have  entered  into  union  with  God,  through  the 
sacrificial  offering  of  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ.  All  the  rest 
are  passed  over  in  silence.  All,  therefore,  who  do  not 
answer  this  description,  are  excluded  from  glory." 

Jail/  Is^,  1884.  —  May  the  Lord  give  me  patience  under 
the  many  triJs  I  am  called  to  pass  through  in  this  life  ; 
may  they  all  work  for  me  a  far  more  exceeding  and  eter- 
nal weight  of  glory  ;  while  I  look  not  at  the  things  which 
are  seen,  but  at  those  only,  which  are  seen  by  an  eye  of 
faith. 

"  This  journey  is  a  thorny  maze  : 
But  we  march  upward  still, 
Forget  the  troubles  of  the  way, 
And  look  to  Zion's  hill." 

Qth.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  conducted  the  service.  The 
singing  was  delightful  ;  I  ever  before  discovered  such 
beauty  in  the  harmony  of  voices,  in  the  house  of  God,  con- 
ducted witl>  such  regularity,  spirit,  and  life,  so  pleasing  and 
edifying  to  the  hearers,  and  suitable  in  divine  worship  ;  an 
emblem  of  heaven. 


"  Savior,  take  the  power  and  glory  ;  claim  the  kingdoms  for  thine  own  ! 
Jah  !  Jehovah  I  everlasting  God  !  come  down." 


27* 


314 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


I'Hth.  — Tl\e  Lord  is  my  refuge,  and  strength,  a  present 
help  in  every  time  of  troul)lc.  I  will  bless  the  Lord  at  all 
times,  his  praise  shall  continually  be  in  my  mouth.  May 
he  reign  in  me  to  the  utter  exclusion  of  all  sin,  and  every 
thing  that  is  opposed  to  my  progress  in  holiness.  I  want 
to  glorify  God  at  all  times,  and  say  under  all  my  trials  and 
afflictions,  it  is  the  Lord,  let  him  do  what  seemeth  to  him 
good. 

\'3th.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Acts  13  : 
38,  39.  *'  Be  it  known  unto  you,  therefore,  men  and 
brethren,  that  through  this  man  is  preached  unto  you  the 
forgiveness  of  sins  ; 

"  And  by  him  all  that  believe  are  justified  from  all  things, 
from  which  ye  could  not  he  justified  by  the  law  of  Moses." 

Glory  be  to  God  for  his  unspeakable  gifts  for  the  mani- 
festation of  the  Son  of  God,  to  take  away  our  sin  ;  how 
refreshing  to  my  soul  is  the  gospel. 

"  If  such  the  sweetness  of  tlie  stream, 
What  must  tlie  fountain  be  V 
Where  saints  and  angels  draw  their  bliss 
Immediately  from  thee." 

17^/i.  —  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  his  sparing  mercy, 
while  so  many  of  our  cotemporaries  are  being  called  into 
eternity.  Bless  the  Lord,  for  having  early  in  life  called 
me  into  the  enjoyment  of  his  light  and  love,  and  given  me 
a  bright  prospect  of  happiness  beyond  the  grave,  which 
hope  is  still  as  an  anchor  within  the  veil.  I  do  know  by 
happy  experience,  that  it  is  not  a  vain  thing  to  cast  my 
burden  upon  the  Lord  :  they  who  trust  in  him  shall  be  as 
Mount  Zion,  which  cannot  be  moved  but  abide th  forever. 
I  depend  upon  the  precious  promises  of  God,  that  he  will 
neither  leave  nor  forsake  me. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


315 


■>rcsent 
I  at  all 
May 
[  every 
I  want 
als  and 
to  hira 

ts  13  : 
en  and 
you  the 

1  things, 
Moses." 
le  mani- 
n ;  how 


mercy, 
lied  into 
e  called 
iven  me 
which 
know  by 
cast  my 
all  be  as 
forever. 
,t  he  will 


"  Say  ye  to  the  daughter  of  Zion,  Behold  thy  salvation 
Cometh  ;  Behold,  his  reward  is  with  him,  and  his  work  be- 
fore him."     Isa.  02  :  11. 

22d.  —  My  heavenly  Father,  enable  rao  to  live  to  thee, 
walk  with  thee,  talk  of  thee,  enjoy  thee  ;  and  may  it  be 
all  my  delight  to  do  thy  holy  and  blessed  will.  Touch  my 
heart  as  with  a  live  coal  from  off  thine  altar,  and  may  it 
burn  and  flame  with  love,  gratitude,  and  praise,  to  the 
triune  God  forever. 

"  Blessed  Jesu?!,  what  rlelicions  fare, 
How  sweet  thine  entertainments  are. 
Never  diil  angels  taste  above 
Kedeeming  grace  and  dying  love." 

21th.  —  Rev.  "W.  Smithson  preached  from  Matt.  24  :  44. 
"  Therefore,  be  ye  also  ready  :  for  in  such  an  hour  as  ye 
think  not,  the  Son  of  man  cometh." 

The  Lord  impress  the  minds  of  the  careless,  with  a 
solemn  sense  of  their  danger,  while  indulging  in  the  fleshly 
mind  with  the  idea  of  pleasurable  worldly  enjoyment.  Reli- 
gion is  the  Only  thing  that  can  make  them  happy  in  this 
world,  and  if  they  die  without  it,  they  can  never  be  happy. 
May  they  sec  the  hateful  nature  of  sin  ;  which  turned  the 
angels  out  of  heaven,  Adam  out  of  Paradise,  and  brought 
temporal  death  upon  all  the  human  family  ;  and  upon  all 
the  finally  impenitent,  death  spiritual  and  eternal.  How 
will  they  appear  before  their  Judge,  who  live  and  die  in 
their  sins,  unpurged  and  unforgiven,  far  distant  from  the 
living  God,  as  far  as  hell  from  heaven  ? 

"  Xo  room  for  mirth  or  trifling  hero, 
For  worldly  hope,  or  worldly  fear, 

If  life  so  soon  is  gone  : 
If  now  the  Jndge  is  at  the  door, 
And  all  mankind  must  stand  before 

The  inexorable  throne  I "' 


316 


LIB^E    AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


Augmt  Ist,  1834.  —  Almighty  and  ever  livin;^  God, 
the  maker  of  heaven  and  earth,  and  all  things  visible  and 
invisible,  the  fountain  of  all  comfort  and  enjoyment  ;  thy 
love  is  unbounded,  the  foundation  of  all  happiness,  present 
and  future  ;  we  are  the  clay,  and  thou  art  the  potter,  who 
hast  formed  us  out  of  the  dust  of  the  earth,  breathed  into 
our  nostrils  the  breath  of  life,  and  we  become  living  souls 
tliat  must  exist  to  all  eternity.  Notwithstanding  our  crea- 
tion in  the  image  of  God,  we  have  lost  it  by  sin,  and  all 
like  sheep  gone  astray  :  but  blessed  be  the  God  of  all 
grace,  who  hath  loved,  and  pitied  us,  and  was  born  for  us  ; 
suffered  the  curse  due  to  our  sins  ;  died  to  atone  for  sin, 
that  he  might  save  us  from  its  penalty  and  guilt,  justify 
us  freely,  and  save  us  eternally. 

I  pray  that  the  whole  salvation  of  the  gospel  may  be 
accomplished  in  my  soul,  and  in  all  for  whom  I  am  in  duty 
bound  to  pray  ;  and  0,  this  salvation  unto  the  likeness 
and  presence  of  God  !  how  great,  who  can  tell  ? 

3c?.  — Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  1  Corinth.  3  :  21. 
*'  For  all  things  are  yours."  He  that  has  God  for  his  por- 
tion has  every  thing  that  can  make  him  happj'  and  glori- 
ous :  all  are  his. 

"  The  church  and  the  soul  are  a  building,  of  which  God 
is  the  master  and  chief  architect  ;  Jesus  Christ  the  main 
foundation  ;  the  apostles,  the  subordinate  architects  ;  the 
bishops,  the  workmen  ;  the  priests,  their  helpers  ;  good 
works,  the  main  body  of  the  building  ;  faith,  a  sort  of 
second  foundation  ;  and  charity,  the  top  perfection.  Happy 
is  that  man  who  is  a  living  stone  in  this  building." — Qidsnel. 

Glory  be  to  thy  name,  0  Lord,  for  Christian  privileges, 
and  for  so  many  encouraging  promises,  and  for  so  many 
tokens  of  divine,  special  care  over  us. 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY.  IT 

"  Sweot  peace  thy  promifos  nfTord, 
And  give  now  2:trenj,'tli  to  faintiiifr  souls." 

lOth.  —  Rev.  S.  Bus1)y  preached  from  Psalm  84  :  11. 
*'  For  the  Lord  God  is  a  sun  and  sliield  :  the  Lord  will 
give  grace  and  glory :  no  good  thing  will  he  withhold  from 
them  that  walk  uprightly.  "Gives  grace  to  pardon,  purify, 
and  save  the  soul  from  sin  ;  and  glory  to  the  sanctified  in 
his  eternal  kingdom  ;  and  even  here  he  withholds  no  good 
thing  from  them  that  walk  uprightly. 

'*  ThouiTh  fate  command  me  to  tlie  farthest  verge  of  the  gi-een  earth : 
Yet  God  is  ever  present,  ever  felt, 
In  the  wide  Avaste  as  in  tliecity  full  ; 
And  when  Ho  vital  breathes,  tiiere  must  be  joy." 

12fh.  —  Justice  and  judgment  are  the  habitations  of 
thy  throne.  0  give  to  thy  ministering  servants  who  are 
intrusted  with  the  enforcement  of  Christian  discipline,  that 
wisdom  which  cometli  down  from  above  ;  that  their  decis- 
ions may  tend  to  heal  the  wounded  mind  ;  restore  peace 
and  happiness,  and  that  Satan,  with  all  his  combined 
craft  and  force,  may  be  defeated,  and  that  Jesus  may  rule 
and  reign  King  of  Kings,  and  Lord  of  all  to  the  glory  of 
God. 

I  thank  thee,  for  refreshing  showers  of  rain  ;  may  the 
plentiful  effusions  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  the  residue  and  j)len- 
iiude  whereof,  is  with  thee,  descend  upon  us,  to  refresh, 
and  purify  us,  and  render  us  faithful  in  all  righteousness  ; 
that  Zion  may  be  unto  thee  for  a  name,  and  a  praise  in 
the  earth. 

llth. — Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  2  Tim.  4  : 
6,  7,  8.  "  For  I  am  now  ready  to  be  offered,  and  the 
time  of  my  departure  is  at  hand. 


318 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


"I  hfivc  fouglit  a  good  fight,  I  have  finished  my  course, 
I  have  kept  the  faith  : 

'*  ilcncefortli  tliore  is  hiid  up  fur  mc  a  crown  of  righteous- 
ness, wliich  the  Lord,  the  righteous  Judge,  shall  give  mo 
at  that  day  :  and  not  to  me  only,  but  unto  all  them  also 
that  love  his  apjjcaring." 

How  necessary  is  st'lfcxamination,  on  hearing  subjects 
relating  to  death,  and  a  preparation  for  it ;  the  judgment ; 
the  crown  of  rigliteousucss,  which  the  Lord,  the  righteous 
Ju.lgc,  shall  give  at  that  day. 

The  great  resurrection  day,  when  the  graves  of  those 
•who  have  been  deposited  for  thousands  of  years,  and 
the  recent  dead,  "with  those  who  shall  be  changed  in  a  mo- 
ment, at  the  last  trump,  to  take  their  stand  before  the 
Judge  in  that  day  ;  to  give  an  account  of  the  deeds  done 
in  the  body.  0,  may  I  so  live  on  earth,  as  I  shall  wish  I 
had  done,  when  I  shall  be  called  to  pass  that  solemn  scru- 
tiny ;  that  I  may  lift  up  my  head  with  joy  ;  there  to 
appear, 

"  Clotlied  with  that  best  wedding  dress, 
The  robe  of  Jesus'  righteousness." 

'20th.  —  May  I  begin,  spend,  and  end  the  day  with  the 
thoughts,  love,  and  presence  of  the  Lord,  and  with  the 
assistance  and  teaching  of  the  Holy  Spirit,  without  whose 
gracious  aid,  I  cannot  do  any  thing  pleasing  to  thee. 

"  0  joyful  sound  of  goF^pel  grace  I 
Christ  shall  in  me  appear  ; 
I,  even  I,  shall  see  his  face  ; 
I  sliall  be  holy  here." 


me 


24f/i.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Ezek.  11  :  19. 
"  And  I  will  give  them   one  heart,  and  I  will  put  a  new 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLKT. 


319 


spirit  within  you  ;  and  I  will  take  the  stony  heart  out  of 
their  flesh,  and  will  give  them  an  heart  offloHh." 

I  now  rejoice  that  in  the  days  of  youth,  my  mind  was 
so  ])owerrully  impressod  with  the  necessity  of  a  change  of 
heart,  being  born  again  in  the  S[»irit.  \Vhen  thou  saidest, 
seek  ye  n\y  face,  my  heart  replied,  thy  face  Lord  will  I 
seek.  My  understanding  was  enlightened  to  discover 
that  consideration  was  the  first  step  to  conversion  ;  and 
religion  was  heart  work,  wrought  by  the  sjiirit  of  (iod ; 
and  the  axe  was  so  laid  to  the  root  of  my  corrupt,  dei)raved 
nature,  that  I  had  no  rest,  by  reason  of  sorrow  for  sin  ; 
not  merely  because  it  exposed  me  to  eternal  perdition,  but 
because  it  was  so  offensive  in  the  sight  of  God. 

A  view  of  the  sufferings  of  Christ,  and  the  atonement 
made  for  sin,  to  procure  my  pardon,  fdlcd  me  with  such  an 
overwhelming  sense  of  his  love,  and  a  full  determination 
to  renounce  myself,  and  sinful  nature,  and  never  indulge 
in  any  thing  forbidden  in  his  holy  Word,  but  to  persevere 
to  the  end  of  life,  in  the  uninterrupted  exercises  of  adora- 
tion and  praise  for  his  kindness,  in  pardoning  and  adopting 
me  into  his  family,  and  delivering  me  from  those  torment- 
ing fears,  to  which  I  had  been  so  long  subject,  and  giving 
me  a  blessed  hope  of  happiness  beyond  the  grave.  Purity 
of  heart,  is  Avhat  I  aim  at  ;  that  for  whicli  I  long, 
and  that  in  which  I  delight.  God,  the  Father,  Son,  and 
Holy  Ghost,  my  choice,  ray  hope,  my  rest,  my  rejoicing, 
and  my  glory. 

Slsf.  — liev.  "\V.  Smitlison  preached  from  1  John  3  :  '2. 
"  Beloved  now  arc  we  the  sons  of  God,  and  it  doth  not 
yet  appear  what  we  shall  be  :  but  we  know,  that  when  he 
shall  appear,  we  shall  be  like  him  ;  for  we  shall  see  him 
as  he  is." 


320 


LIFR   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


John  had  seen  his  glory  on  the  Mount,  when  he  was 
transfigured  ;  and  this  we  find  was  ineffably  grand ;  but 
even  this  must  have  been  partially  obscured,  in  order  to 
enable  the  disciples  to  bear  the  sight,  for  they  were  not 
then  like  him.  But  when  they  shall  be  like  him,  they  shall 
see  him  as  he  is,  in  all  the  splendor  of  his  infinite  majesty. 
0,  how  much  I  desire  a  full  preparation  for  the  consum- 
mate blessedness  of  my  Savior's  appearing  to  judge  the 
world. 

September  Isf,  1834.  — This  day  I  am  sixty-three  years 
of  age.  0,  my  heavenly  Father,  what  abundant  cause  I 
have  to  adore  and  praise  thee,  for  the  many  benefits  I  en- 
joy, Avhile  I  might  have  been  cut  down  as  a  cumberer  of 
the  ground  ;  but  I  continually  enjoy  that  for  which  I  be- 
stowed no  labor. 

"  So  you,  ye  birds,  of  wond'roiis  skill  possess'd. 
Not  for  yourselves  construct  the  curious  nest. 
So  you,  yc  sheep,  who  roam  the  verdant  field, 
Not  for  yourselves  your  snowy  fleeces  yield. 
So  you,  ye  bees,  who  every  flower  explore, 
Not  for  yourselves  amass  the  honied  store. 
So  you,  ye  ])atient  kine,  inured  to  toil, 
Not  for  vourselves  subdue  the  stubborn  soil !  " 


May  I  see  more  clearly  the  excellencies  of  my  adorable 
Redeemer,  from  whose  benevolence  I  obtain  the  bread  and 
water  of  life,  the  garments  of  salvation,  the  oil  of  joy  ;  and 
drawn  by  the  silken  cord  of  divine  love,  give  up  myself  and 
all  I  have  his  name  to  glorify,  and  witness  in  this  solemn 
hour  for  him  to  live  and  die. 

1th.  —  Rev.   S.  Busby  preached  from  Acts  12  :   24. 
But  the  Word  of  God  grew  and  multiplied." 
"  As  grain,  it  grew,  the  stalk  and  the  ear;  it  was  mul- 


u 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


321 


1  he  was 
md;  but 
order  to 
were  not 
;hey  shall 
majesty, 
consum- 
udge  the 

tree  years 
cause  I 
efits  I  en- 
tnberer  of 
lich  I  be- 


adorable 
bread  and 
■joy ;  and 
ivself  and 
lis  solemn 

12  :   24. 

;  vras  mul- 


tiplied as  the  corn  is  in  the  full  ear.  It  was  liberally  sown ; 
it  grew  vigorously,  and  became  greatly  multiplied.  And 
why  ?  Because  it  was  the  Word,  the  doctrine  of  God  ; 
there  was  no  corruption  in  it ;  and  because  God  watered  it 
with  the  dew  of  heaven  from  on  high." 

"  In  many  a  soul,  ^nd  mine, 

Tliou  hast  displayed  thy  power  ; 
But  to  thy  people  join, 

Ten  thousand  thousand  more  ; 
Saved  from  the  guilt  and  stren<!;th  of  sin, 
In  life  and  heart  entirely  clean." 

IWi.  —  Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  Isaiah  28:  16. 
"  Therefore,  thus  saith  the  Lord  God,  Behold,  I  lay  in 
Zion  for  a  foundation,  a  stone,  a  tried  stone,  a  precious 
corner  stone,  a  sure  foundation :  he  that  bclieveth  shall 
not  make  haste." 

I.  The  Lord's  peculiar  work  is  astonishingly  mani- 
fested in  the  mission  of  Jesus  Christ. 

II.  He,  being  rejected  and  crucified  by  the  Jews,  be- 
came an  atonement  for  the  sin  of  the  world. 

III.  He  was  raised  again  from  the  dead,  a  proof  of  his 
conquest  over  death  and  sin,  and  a  pledge  of  immortality 
to  his  followers. 

IV.  He  was  constituted  the  foundation  on  which  the 
salvation  of  mankind  rests,  and  the  corner  stone  which 
unites  Jews  and  Gentiles,  beautifies,  strengthens,  and  com- 
pletes the  whole  building,  as  the  head  stone  or  uppermost 
stone  in  the  corner  does  the  whole  edifice. 

V.  He  is  hereby  rendered  the  object  of  the  joy  and 
admiration  of  all  his  followers  and  the  glory  of  man. 

The  name  of  Jesus  and  his  mediatorial  work,  is  a  strong 

tower,  whereunto  ray  soul  may  continually  flee  and  be  safe. 

Glory  be  to  his  holy  name  forever. 
28 


322 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


'Hist.  •—  This  morning's  text  was  Mark  13 :  33.  "  Take 
ye  heed,  watch  and  pray  :  for  ye  know  not  when  the  time 
is."  May  our  minds  be  prepared  for  the  visitation  of 
divine  judgments  now  abroad  in  the  earth.  In  Halifax, 
hundreds  are  dying  of  the  cholera  ;  taken  off  in  a  summary 
way,  and  among  other  valuable  lives,  the  Rev.  William 
Black  has  fell  a  victim  to  this  awful  scourge,  the  eighth  of 
this  month,  in  his  seventy-fifth  year.  A  holy  man,  and  a 
good  minister  of  Christ. 

Now  while  the  Lord's  hand  is  lifted  up,  and  the  sword 
suspended,  may  we,  with  penitential  sorrow  for  our  sin, 
bow  with  lowly  reverence  before  him  ;  and  who  knows  but 
that  the  fierceness  of  his  displeasure  may  be  turned  away 
from  us ;  or  this  alarming  disease  mercifully  mitigated  ? 
In  this  crisis  of  alarm  and  danger,  I  desire  to  stand  still 
and  see  the  salvation  of  God,  who  is  able  to  perform  all 
things  for  me,  and  though  he  slay  me,  yet  will  I  trust  in 
him. 

23t7.  —  The  text  this  evening,  "  redeeming  the  time,"  ap- 
peared to  bring  up  before  us  an  important  duty,  and 
every  way  adapted  to  our  situation ;  may  it  be  generally 
practised. 

2Sth.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Psalm  46:  4. 
"  There  is  a  river,  the  streams  whereof  shall  make  glad 
the  city  of  God :  the  holy  place  of  the  tabernacles  of  the 
Most  High." 

The  city  of  God  was  Jerusalem,  the  type  of  the  church ; 
and  the  holy  place  was  the  temple.  The  little  Shiloh,  that 
ran  softly,  Avatered  Jerusalem  ;  and  the  promises  of  the 
gospel,  that  shall  always  flow  in  the  church,  shall  make 
glad  the  hearts  of  God's  people. 


MRS.    MARY     BRADLEY. 


323 


"  Take 
he  time 
.tion  of 
lalifax, 
immary 

miliam 
ghth  of 
f  and  a 

3  sword 
)ur  sin, 
ows  but 
id  away 
i^ated  ? 
,nd  still 
brm  all 
trust  in 


lae,"  ap- 
ty,  and 
ine  rally 


46:  4. 
ke  glad 
of  the 

church ; 
oh, that 
of  the 
I  make 


29^A.  —  The  cholera  Ins  begun  its  ravages  in  this  city; 
several  deaths  have  takeu  place,  new  cases  are  occurring, 
and  the  fear  of  it  has  induced  a  number  of  families  to  leave 
the  city.  May  we  be  enabled  to  trust  in  the  Lord,  who 
is  as  able  to  preserve  us  here  as  elsewhere  ;  "  They  who 
trust  in  the  Lord  shall  be  as  Mount  Zion,  which  cannot  be 
removed,  but  abideth  for  ever."  May  he  hear  and  answer 
the  petitions  which  are  being  daily  presented  unto  him,  in 
belialf  of  his  church  and  people.  I  feel  I  am  unworthy 
of  his  notice  ;  I  flee  to  no  other  refuge  but  the  Lord 
Jesus. 

♦•  This  all  my  hope   and  all  my  plea, 
Jesus  hatli  lived  and  died  for  me." 

ZOth.  —  0  Lord,  I  ])csecch  thee  to  assist  me  in  the  im- 
portant duty  which  was  so  earnestly  pressed  upon  us  this 
evening,  to  pray  at  all  times  and  seasons,  in  public  and 
private,  for  ourselves,  families,  friends,  enemies,  backslid- 
ers, and  for  the  profane  ;  it  is  a  command  from  God,  and 
to  neglect  it  would  be  a  sin  against  God. 

Oct.  1st.  —  I  desire  to  love  the  Lord  with  all  my  heart, 
soul,  and  strength,  and  pray  that  I  may  do  so.  I  feel 
and  enjoy  the  power  and  efficacy  of  saving  grace,  through 
the  atonement  of  my  blessed  Savior,  giving  me  access  to 
God,  in  such  a  way,  that  I  can  and  do  rejoice  in  God  : 

"  My  refuge  in  distrcs?, 
A  present  help  when  dangers  press." 

4ith.  —  I  Iiave  abundant  cause  to  praise  the  Lord  for  the 
innumerable  mercies  of  my  life  ;  and  desire  gratefully  to 
record  the  divine  goodness  towards  my  dear  nephew, 
Amacy  Coy,  whose  return  from  Scotland,  after  years  of 


824 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


studious  toil,  to  acquire  such  a  knowledge  of  the  medical 
profession  as  I  hope  will  render  him,  by  active  application 
to  his  business,  a  successful  physician. 

bth. — llev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Romans  6  :  4. 
'*  Even  so,  we  also  should  walk  in  newness  of  life." 

The  death  of  Jesus  Christ  is  represented  as  the  cause 
■whence  His  fruitfulness,  as  the  author  of  eternal  salvation 
to  mankind  is  derived  ;  and  genuine  believers  in  him  are 
represented  as  being  planted  in  his  death,  and  growing  out 
of  it  ;  deriving  their  vigor,  firmness,  beauty,  and  fruitful- 
ness  from  it.  In  a  word,  it  is  by  his  death  that  Jesus 
Christ  redeems  a  lost  world  ;  and  it  is  from  that  vicarious 
death,  that  believers  derive  that  pardon  and  holiness  which 
makes  them  so  happy  in  themselves,  and  so  useful  to  others  ; 
and  from  which  they  derive  their  life,  fruitfulness,  and 
final  glory. 

This  blessed  discourse  set  forth  the  necessity  of  the  new 
birth,  a  thorough  change  of  heart,  by  the  operation  of  the 
Holy  Spirit,  experimental  and  practical  religion ;  showing 
forth  by  our  life  and  conversation,  that  we  are  new  creatures 
in  Christ  Jesus. 

Qth.  —  The  Lord  bless  those  persons  with  whom  I  have 
conversed  to-day  ;  may  they  begin  earnestly  to  seek  and 
pray,  and  continue  until  they  arrive  where  prayer  is 
turned  to  praise,  faith  to  sight,  and  hope  in  full,  supreme 
delight  and  everlasting  love. 

^th. — This  day  was  held,  according  to  proclamation,  as 
a  day  of  fasting,  humiliation,  and  prayer  to  Almighty  God, 
that  it  would  please  him  to  avert  the  awfully  threatening 
calamity,  the  Cholera  Morbus,  now  making  such  fearful 
ravages  in  the  city. 

0,  most  merciful  and  gracious  God,  I  thank  thee  for 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


325 


nedicai 
iication 

36:4. 

Q  cause 
ilvation 
lira  are 
nng  out 
fruitful- 
,t  Jesus 
icarious 
IS  which 
others  ; 
jss,  and 

the  new 
1  of  the 
showing 
•eatures 

I  have 
3ek  and 
ajer  is 
upreme 

ition,  as 

ty  God, 

atening 

fearful 

thee  for 


thy  hitherto  gentle  manner  of  dealing  with  us  ;  I  beseech 
thee  continue  thy  mercy  unto  us  ;  spare  this  city,  and  if 
consistent  with  thy  holy  will,  now  that  thy  hand  is  lifted 
up,  suspend  the  blow  ;  let  these  individuals  suffice  ;  for 
how  can  I  endure  to  see  the  destruction  of  my  people  ?  0 
hear  and  answer  prayer  for  divine  protection  and  deliver- 
ance ;  our  eyes  are  up  unto  thee,  for  there  is  no  other  who 
can  deliver  :  but  only  thou,  0  God. 

"  He  that  doth  make  his  refuge  God, 
Shall  find  a  most  secure  abode  ; 
Shall  sit  all  day  beneath  the  shade, 
And  there  at  night,  shall  rest  his  head." 

Glory  be  to  thy  Holy  name,  for  ever  and  ever.  Amen. 

12th.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  2  Chronicles 
33  :  12, 13.  "  And  when  he  was  in  affliction,  he  besought 
the  Lord  his  God,  and  humbled  himself  greatly  before  the 
God  of  his  fathers  ;  and  prayed  unto  him,  and  he  was  in- 
treated  of  him,  and  heard  his  supplication,  and  brought 
him  again  to  Jerusalem,  into  his  kingdom.  Then  Manas- 
seh  knew  that  the  Lord  he  was  God."  What  encourage- 
ment for  those,  who  have  unhappily  wandered,  to  return 
to  the  Lord. 

l'5th.  —  0,  what  astonishing,  infinite  love,  which  moved 
thee,  my  Lord  and  Savior,  to  leave  the  realms  of  glory, 
the  thione  above,  where  all  the  heavenly  hosts  presented 
their  continued  adoration  to  thee,  King  of  Kings,  and  Lord 
of  Lords,  to  descend  into  this  vale  of  tears  ;  to  be  despised, 
stricken,  smitten  of  God,  and  afflicted,  and  a  sacrifice  for 
the  sin  of  the  world  ;  to  satisfy  divine  justice,  open  a  new 
and  living  way,  and  bring  salvation  down, 
28* 


326 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


"  Lord,  I  adore  thy  matchless  grace, 
That  warned  me  of  the  dark  abyss  ; 
That  drew  mc  from  those  treaclierous  seas, 
And  bid  mo  seek  superior  joys." 

19^7i.  —  Mr.  11.  preached  from  Job  22:21.  "Ac- 
quaint now  thyself  with  him,  and  be  at  peace  :  thereby 
good  shall  come  unto  thee." 

The  Lord  bless  this  profitable  exhortation  to  the  good  of 
all  who  heard  the  solemn  truth  ;  may  they  comply  with 
the  duty,  as  the  only  way  to  happiness  and  glory. 

23c?.  —  Bless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  whose  mercy  and 
goodness  to  me,  an  unworthy  creature,  is  so  great  tho 
one  altogether  lovely,  the  chief  among  tens  of  thousands. 

"  His  name  the  sinner  hears. 
And  is  from  sin  set  free  ; 
'TJis  music  in  his  ears, 

'Tis  life  and  victory  : 
New  songs  do  now  his  lips  employ, 
And  dances  his  glad  heart  for  joy." 

26th.  —  Preaching  from  Hebrews  5:9.  "  And  being 
made  perfect,  he  became  the  author  of  eternal  salvation 
unto  all  them  that  obey  him." 

When  Christ  had  finished  his  course  of  tremendous 
sufferings,  and  consummated  the  whole  of  his  death  and 
resurrection,  he  became  the  cause  of  eternal  salvation  unto 
all  them  who  obey  him. 

May  the  offers  of  a  present,  free,  full,  and  eternal  salva- 
tion for  all,  be  by  all  embraced,  and  eternally  enjoyed. 

Nov.  Ist,  1834.  —  It  is  reported  to-day,  that  the  chol- 
era is  increasing,  and  has  made  its  appearance  in  many 
parts  of  the  city  and  Portland  ;  many  have  fell  before  it 
already  ;  about  a  hundred  arc  reported ;  some  in  four  hours 
sickness.     Create  in  me  a  clean  heart,  0  God,  and  renew 


MRS.   MARY    BRADLEY. 


327 


"  Ac- 

thereby 

good  of 
ply  with 

rcy  and 
eat  tho 
isands. 


id  being 
alvation 

nendous 
lath  and 
ion  unto 

al  salva- 
)yed. 
he  chol- 
in  many 
before  it 
ur  hours 
d  renew 


a  right  spirit  within  me,  that  I  may  stand  in  the  evil  day, 
saved  by  grace. 

2c?.  — Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  Rev.  3  :  18.  *' I  coun- 
sel thee  to  buy  of  me  gold  tried  in  the  fire,  that  thou 
mayest  be  rich  ;  and  white  raiment  that  thou  mayest  be 
clothed." 

0  fallen  and  deceived  soul,  hear  Jesus  !  Thy  case  is 
not  hopeless.  Buy  of  me  gold  tried  in  the  fire.  Come 
and  receive  from  me,  without  money  and  without  price, 
faith  that  shall  stand  in  every  trial  ;  pure  and  undefiled 
religion,  divine  influence  which  produces  it,  whi^h  is  more 
valuable  to  the  soul  than  the  purest  gold  to  the  body. 
White  raiment  ;  holiness  of  heart  and  life. 

May  I  not  be  satisfied  with  anything  short  of  this  ; 
reconciliation  and  union  with  God,  through  the  atonement 
of  my  dear  Redeemer,  who  has  borne  my  pain,  shame,  and 
sorrow,  and  who  has  said,  because  I  Uve,  you  shall  live 
also. 

6^^.  —  0  my  blessed  Jesus,  thou  art  my  only  hope  and 
refuge  from  the  pestilence  that  walketh  in  darkness,  and 
from  the  destruction  that  wasteth  at  noon  day.  Regard 
the  piteous  state  of  the  afilicted,  and  particularly  those 
whose  sickness  is  unto  death. 

"  What  is  the  world  and  all  in  it  V 
'Tis  but  a  bittei- sweet, 
When  I  attempt  a  rose  to  pluck, 
A  prickling  thorn  I  meet." 

Glory  be  to  my  Savior,  who  in  order  to  save  my  life  and 
soul  laid  down  his  own. 

^ih.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  1  Chronicles, 
29  :  5.  "  Who  then  is  willing  to  consecrate  his  service 
this  day  unto  the  Lord  ?  " 


328 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


Dr.  Delaney  said,  "  David  was  a  true  believer,  a  zeal- 
ous adorer  of  God,  teacher  of  his  law  and  worship,  and 
inspirer  of  his  praise.  A  glorious  example,  a  perpet- 
ual and  inexhaustible  fountain  of  true  priety.  A  con- 
summate and  unequalled  hero  ;  a  skilful  and  fortunate 
captain  ;  a  steady  patriot  ;  a  wise  ruler  ;  a  faithful  gene, 
rous,  and  magnanimous  friend  ;  and,  what  is  yet  rarer,  a 
no  less  generous  and  magnanimous  enemy.  A  true  peni- 
tent, a  divine  musician,  a  sublime  poet,  and  an  inspired 
prophet.  By  birth,  a  peasant  ;  by  merit,  a  prince ;  in 
youth,  a  hero  ;  in  manhood,  a  monarch  ;  and  in  age,  a 
saint."  For  his  sin,  no  man  ever  suffered  more  in  his 
body,  soul,  and  domestic  affairs,  than  he  did.  His  peni- 
tence was  as  deep  and  as  extraordinary  as  his  crime  ;  and 
nothing  could  surpass  both,  but  that  eternal  mercy,  that 
took  away  the  guilt,  assuaged  the  sorrow,  and  restored  this 
most  humbled  transgressor  to  character,  holiness,  and  hap- 
piness. 

Let  the  God  of  David  be  exalted  forever ! 

10th.  —  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  the  rest  of  heaven,and 
for  a  good  hope  through  grace,  of  a  happy  lodgment 
there.  I  trust  for  a  final  conquest  over  pride,  instability, 
the  world,  and  Satan  ;  and  for  the  precious,  pure,  and 
perfect  love  of  God,  to  predominate  in  my  soul. 

Glory  be  to  thy  holy  name,  for  my  salvation,  for  gene- 
ral redemption,  and  the  spread  of  the  gospel  among  hea- 
then nations.  May  the  whole  world  speedily  bow  to  the 
mild  sceptre  of  Jesus,  and  while  I  have  a  being  bis  praise 
continually  dwell  upon  my  tongue. 

"  And  when  my  voice  is  lost  in  death, 
Praise  shall  employ  my  nohler  powers  ; 
My  daj's  of  praise  shall  ne'er  be  past, 
While  life,  and  thought,  and  being  last. 
Or  immortality  endure*," 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


329 


a  zeal- 
lip,  and 

perpet- 
A  con- 
)rturiate 
il  gene, 
rarer,  a 
ae  peni- 
inspired 
ice ;  in 
1  age,  a 
•e  in  his 
lis  peni- 
le ;  and 
cj,  that 
)red  this 
md  hap- 


^ren,and 
)dgraent 
lability, 
are,  and 

or  gene- 
3ng  hea- 
w  to  the 
is  praise 


IZth.  —  0  my  heavenly  Father,  how  tasteless  is  every 
thing  when  I  am  not  happy  in  thee,  and  there  is  not  any 
thing  in  this  world  that  is  calculated  to  make  me  happy, 
short  of  thy  love. 

•'  0,  that  tho  per''  _ .  pracc  were  givc.i, 
Tlie  love  dill'iised  abroad  I 
O,  that  my  heart  were  all  a  heaven, 
Forever  filled  with  God  !  " 

16^^.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  2  Cor.  5 :  14, 15. 
"  For  the  love  of  Christ  constraineth  us,  because  we  thus 
judge,  that  if  one  died  for  all,  then  were  all  dead :  And 
that  he  died  for  all,  that  they  which  live,  should  not  hence- 
forth live  unto  themselves,  but  unto  him  which  died  for 
them,  and  rose  again." 

The  first  position  the  apostle  takes  for  granted,  viz.,  that 
Jesus  Christ  died  for  all  mankind. 

The  second  position  he  infers  from  the  first,  and  justly 
too  ;  for  if  all  had  not  been  guilty,  and  consigned  to  eter- 
nal death  because  of  their  sin,  there  could  have  been  no 
need  of  his  death.  Therefore,  as  he  most  certainly  died 
for  all,  then  all  were  dead,  and  needed  his  sacrifice,  and 
the  quickening  power  of  his  Spirit. 

The  third  position  he  draws  from  the  preceding  :  If  all 
were  dead,  and  in  danger  of  endless  perdition,  and  if  he 
died  for  all,  to  save  them  from  that  perdition,  then  it  justly 
follows  that  they  are  not  their  own  ;  that  they  are  bought 
by  his  blood,  and  should  not  live  unto  themselves,  for  this 
is  the  way  to  final  ruin  ;  but  unto  him  who  died  for  them, 
and  thus  made  an  atonement  for  their  sins,  and  rose  again 
for  their  justification. 

21st.  —  I  desire  to  be  thankful  for  the  encouragement 


330 


LIFE  AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


;  1 

ii 


I  have  received  in  answer  to  prayer  for  an  afflicted  -woman ; 
may  her  unhappy  companion  be  snatched  as  a  brand  from 
the  burning,  and  his  Uon-like  temper,  and  ferocious  dispo- 
sition be  changed  into  that  of  a  lamb. 

23c?.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Judges  3 :  20. 
"I  have  a  message  from  God  unto  thee."  May  we  all  be 
prepared  to  improve  the  important  warnings  and  truths, 
delivered  by  the  ministers  of  Christ,  to  the  honor  of  God, 
and  our  precious  souls'  eternal  good. 

21th.  —  I  feel  thankful  for  the  privilege  I  have  enjoyed 
this  evening,  in  attending  the  love-feast.  May  every  thing 
be  destroyed  that  would  have  the  least  tendency  to  sepa- 
rate us  from  God  and  each  other  ;  but  may  we  be  a  united 
body  of  believers  in  Christ  Jesus  ;  a  band  of  love,  a  three- 
fold cord,  never  to  be  broken  ;  one  hope,  one  heart,  one 
mind,  one  voice,  a  sweet-smelling  savor  unto  the  Lord. 

SO^A.  —  Rev.  S.  B.  pre  iched  from  Psalm  QG  :  18.  "  If 
I  regard  inionity  in  my  heart :  the  Lord  will  not  hear  me." 
If  I  have  seen  iniquity  in  my  heart,  if  I  have  known  it  was 
there  and  encouraged  it,  if  I  pretended  to  be  what  I  was 
not,  if  I  loved  iniquity  while  I  professed  to  pray  and  be 
sorry  for  my  sin,  the  Lord,  my  prop,  stay,  and  supporter 
•would  not  have  heard,  and  I  should  have  been  left  without 
help  or  support. 

May  I  look  unto  the  Lord  by  prayer,  that  I  may  not 
under  any  circumstances  whatever  regard  iniquity  in  my 
heart.  If  1  have  received  injuries  from  my  fellow  crea- 
tures in  any  way,  that  I  indulge  no  hatred  or  ill-will  to- 
wards them ;  but  love  my  enemies,  bless  them  that  curse 
me,  do  good  to  them  that  hate  me,  and  pray  for  them  who 
despitefully  use  me  and  persecute  me. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


331 


. -v^oman; 
\ncl  from 
U3  dispo- 

63  3:  20. 

we  all  be 

i  truths, 

of  God, 

e  enjoyed 
ery  thing 
f  to  sepa- 
3  a  united 
?,  a  thrce- 
leart,  one 
Jjord. 

18.  "If 

near  me." 
wn  it  was 

at  I  was 
y  and  be 

upporter 
t  without 

may  not 
ty  in  my 
low  crea- 
ill-will  to- 
lat  curse 
hem  who 


! 


Dec.  Isfj  1834.  —  0  Lord,  I  return  thee  humble  and 
hearty  tl^anks  for  thy  tender  care  over  us,  and  for  thy 
many  and  great  mercies  bestowed  upon  us.  I  desire,  in 
view  of  etei-nity,  to  maintain  in  my  mind  and  feelings  a 
becoming  yolomnity  ;  and  in  reference  to  Deity  such  a 
sense  of  disparity,  as  to  create  in  me  deep  humility  ;  and 
so  to  learn  of  my  divine  teacher  and  Savior,  who  is  meek 
and  lowly  in  heart,  that  1  may  find  present  and  eternal 
rest  unto  my  soul ;  and  so  to  enjoy  the  plenary  influences 
of  the  Holy  Spirit,  as  to  grow  in  grace,  knowledge,  and 
holiness,  that  I  may  reflect  the  image  of  God  enstamped 
upon  my  heart. 

7^A.  —  Rev.  W.  S.  preached  from  Acts 26:  24.  "And 
as  he  thus  spake  for  himself,  Festus  said  with  a  loud  voice, 
Paul,  thou  art  beside  thyself :  much  learning  doth  make 
thee  mad.  But  he  said,  I  am  not  mad,  most  noble  Festus ; 
but  speak  forth  the  words  of  truth  and  soberness."  This 
most  sensible,  appropriate,  and  modest  answer,  was  the 
fullesi  proof  he  could  give  of  his  sound  sense  and  discre- 
tion. The  title  which  he  gives  to  Festus,  shows  at  once 
that  he  was  far  above  indulging  any  sentiment  of  anger  or 
displeasure  at  Festus,  though  he  had  called  him  a  madman, 
and  it  shows  further  that,  with  the  strictest  conscientious- 
ness, even  an  apostle  may  give  titles  of  respect  to  men  in 
power. 

I  thank  the  Lord,  for  the  privilege  of  hearing  his  pre- 
cious Word,  and  for  the  evidence  of  its  power  and  truth  in 
my  own  conscience. 

While  participating  in  the  emblems  of  the  Savior's  bro- 
ken body,  I  felt  the  powerful  application  of  those  words, 
"  I  am  the  bread  of  life,  and  as  far  as  the  east  is  from 
the  west,  so  far  hath  he  removed  my  transgressions  from 


me. 


»> 


332 


LIFE  AND  exi'i:iui;nce  of 


lOth.  —  Jllosscd  bo  the  Lord,  for  another  witness  of  his 
8in-for;.M.vin<^  and  soul-savin^j;  f^racc,  in  the  relief  and  com- 
fort of  his  handmaid,  before  her  8;)irit  took  its  fliglit  into  a 
worUl  unknown.  May  this  solemn  instance  i)rove  a  warn- 
ing to  the  careless,  and  an  encouragement  to  the  pious,  to 
pray  and  never  faint. 

"  DyiiiR,  slio  hoard  tlio  woloome  sound, 
And  pardon  in  His  morcy  (bund." 

13//i.  —  Blessed  Jesus,  what  poor  returns  do  I,  can  I 
make  to  thee,  for  such  mercy  shown,  life  spent,  pain  en- 
dured, and  blood  shed,  to  redeem  a  guilty  world  from  the 
bondage  of  sin  and  death  ! 

"He  spent  Hislifo,  He  spilt  his  blood, 
To  bring  U3  rebels  near  to  God." 

14th.  —  Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  Acts  19  :  2.  "  Ho 
said  unto  them,  Have  ye  received  the  Holy  Ghost  since  yo 
believed  ?" 

.  It  was  the  common  privilege  of  the  disciples  of  Christ 
to  receive,  not  only  the  ordinary  graces,  but  also  the  ex- 
traordinary gifts  of  the  Holy  Spirit ;  in  this  the  disciples 
of  Christ  differed  from  those  of  John,  and  of  all  others. 
John  baptized  with  water ;  Jesus  baptized  with  the  Holy 
Ghost.  And  to  this  day  the  genuine  disciples  of  Christ 
are  distinguished  from  all  false  religionists,  and  from  nom- 
inal Christians,  by  being  made  partakers  of  his  Spirit, 
which  enlightens  their  minds,  and  convinces  of  sin,  righte- 
ousness, and  judgment ;  quickens  their  souls,  witnesses  to 
their  consciences  that  they  are  the  children  of  God,  and 
purifies  their  hearts. 

I  feel  thankful  for  the  privilege  of  hearing  the  truth  do- 


MKS.    MAIIY    UUADLIiV. 


333 


ess  of  his 
and  com- 
^ht  iuto  a 
c  a  warn- 
I  pious,  to 


livercd  in  such  a  ploasini:;  and  profitable  variety  ;  it  was  a 
feast  of  fat  thin;^s,  a  satisfying  portion  to  my  soul.  I  sin- 
cerely pray  that  as  I  have  put  on  the  Lord  Jesus,  so  I 
may  walk  with  him,  and  feast  upon  him  from  day  to  day. 


*'  My  soul  for  nil  Ills  fiiltiO)«s  crle?, 
Nothing  loss  will  mc  suflice  !  " 


)  I,  can  I 

t,  pain  en- 
from  the 


2.     "  Ho 

st  since  vo 

of  Christ 

[so  the  ex- 

e  disciples 

all  others. 

the  Holy 

of  Christ 

from  nom- 

his  Spirit, 

sin,  righte- 

itnesses  to 

■  God,  and 

le  truth  do- 


20lh.  —  0,  what  beauty  I  discover  in  true  religion  I  It 
is  a  path  that  shincth  brighter  and  brighter  unto  the  per- 
fect day  ;  while  I  hold  fust  the  beginning  of  my  confidence 
steadfast  unto  the  end.  May  I  follow  the  Lord  closely, 
love  him  supremely,  trust  him  firmly  ;  and  when  my  pil- 
grimage on  earth  shall  be  finished,  may  he  receive  mo  to 
endless  glory. 

2  LsY.  —  Rev.  ^\.  S.  preached  from  1  Thess.  5  :  9.  "  For 
God  hath  not  appointed  us  to  wrath,  but  to  obtain  salva- 
ti(m  by  our  Lord  Jesus  Christ."  When  the  Jews  were 
rejected,  and  appointed  to  wrath,  then  the  Gentiles  were 
elected,  and  appointed  to  obtain  salvation  by  oiy  Lord 
Jesus  Christ,  whose  gospel  they  gladly  received,  and  con- 
tinue to  prize  ;  while  the  remnant  of  the  Jews  continue,  in 
all  places  of  their  dispersion,  the  same  irreconcilable  and 
blasphemous  opponents  of  the  gospel  of  Christ.  On  these 
accounts  the  election  of  the  Gentiles  and  the  reprobation 
of  the  Jews  still  continue. 

My  blessed  Savior  has  opened  a  door  of  mercy  for  me 
and  all  mankind  ;  salvation  full  and  free,  and  all  who  seek 
may  find. 

25th.  — Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  1  John  3:8."  For 
this  purpose  the  Son  of  God  was  manifested,  that  he  might 
destroy  the  works  of  the  devil."     For  this  very  end,  with 

29 


331 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


t-i 


this  very  design,  that  he  might  loose  the  bonds  of  sin,  dis- 
solve the  power,  influence,  and  connection  of  sin. 

"  Search,  prove  my  liourt,  it  pants  for  Thee, 
0,  burst  these  bonds  and  set  it  free, 
Wash  out  its  stains,  refine  its  dross, 
Nail  my  afTections  to  Thy  cross." 

Rev.  W.  S.  preached  from  Luke  2:  9-14.  "And 
lo,  the  angel  of  the  Lord  came  upon  them,  and  the  glory 
of  the  Lord  shone  round  about  them  ;  and  they  were  sore 
afraid.  And  the  angel  said  unto  them,  fear  not:  for  be- 
hold, I  bring  you  good  tidings  of  great  joy,  Avhich  shall  be 
to  all  people.  For  unto  you  is  born  this  day,  in  the  city 
of  David,  a  Savior,  Avhich  is  Christ  the  Lord."  What 
gratitude  it  ought  to  excite  in  us  to  know  what  interest 
those  superior  Beings  have  taken  in  the  instruction,  com- 
fort, and  salvation  of  fallen,  rebellious  man ;  and  particu- 
larly, that 

"  The  God  of  all  that  breathe. 

Was  found  in  fashion  as  a  man, 
•  *  And  died  a  cursed  death." 

21th.  —  Ilev.  S.  B.  preached  from  Proverbs  23  :  18. 
"  For  surely  there  is  an  end,  and  thine  expectation  shall 
not  be  cut  off." 

"  There  is  another  life  ;  and  thy  expectation  of  the  en- 
joyment of  a  blessed  immortality  shall  not  be  cut  off. 
Wherefore, seeing  that  all  these  things  are  to  be  dissolved, 
what  manner  of  persons  ought  avc  to  be  in  all  holy  conversa- 
tion and  godliness  ? "  May  I  order  all  my  affairs  with  discre- 
tion ;  that  my  house  may  be  set  in  order,  and  my  heart 
right  in  the  sigb*^  of  God  and  towards  all  mankind,  that 
peace,  love,  and  joy  may  abound,  through  our  Lord  Jcsua 
Christ. 


MRS.    MARY   BRADLEY. 


335 


s  of  sin,  dis- 
sin. 


14.     "  And 

d  the  glory 
sy  were  sore 
lot :  for  bc- 
lich  shall  be 
,  in  the  city 
;d."  What 
hat  interest 
notion,  com- 
and  particu- 


31st.  —  Another  year  just  gone  I  0,  how  many  of  my 
fellow  creatures  have  been  called  into  eternity  since  its 
commencement,  and  I  am  yet  spared.  The  year  has  been 
crowned  with  goodness  ;  mercies  have  been  multiplied,  and 
my  companion,  though  afflicted,  mercifully  spared.  My 
obligations  and  accountability  have  alike  increased,  and 
opportunities  for  doing  and  getting  good  afforded  me  ;  all 
tend  to  lay  me  low,  even  as  in  the  dust  of  self-abasement 
before  the  Lord  ;  yet  I  gratefully  adore  him  for  the  past, 
and  humbly  trust  him  for  all  the  future.  I'he  Lord  be 
with  us  in  the  religious  exercises  of  the  watch-night,  who 
are  about  to  meet  to  close  the  old  and  open  the  new  year, 
with  singing  and  prayer. 

"  And  wlicii  our  meetings  on  earth  are  o'er, 
May  wc  meet  again,  wlierc  pain  and  parting  are  no  more; 

And  as  now  is,  and  sliall  forever  be, 
To  Fatlier,  Son,  and  Holy  Ghost,  who  sweetly  all  agree, 
To  save  a  world  of  sinners  lost,  eternal  gl'iry  be." 


•bs  23  :  18. 
Nation  shall 

[1  of  the  en- 
be  cut  off. 
)e  dissolved, 
)ly  conversa- 
;  with  discre- 
d  mv  heart 
ankind,  that 
Lord  Jcsua 


fTanuari/ lst,18oi}.  —  I  thank  the  Lord  for  the  bless- 
ings Avhich  I  have  enjoyed  this  day.  May  I  make  a  wise 
improvement  of  the  short  space  of  time  allotted  me,  to 
evince  the  sincerity  of  the  covenant  cni;-a;rcmcnt3  into 
which  I  entered  in  the  chapel. 

Forty-eight  years  ago  this  day  I  first  entered  into  a 
solemn  covenant  cnira foment  to  be  the  Lord's  :  to  walk  in 
his  holy  ways,  and  forsake  all  sin,  under  a  full  conviction 
that  without  holiness  I  could  not  see  his  face.  I  feel  thank- 
ful that  in  the  days  of  my  3'outh  and  ignorance,  I  was 
shown  the  necessity  of  a  clean  heart.  I  pray  that  I  may  go 
on  from  grace  to  grace,  until  I  shall  be  found  perfect  in 
Christ  Jesus ;  by  faith  obtaining  the  promises,  to  conquer 


3S6 


LIFE    AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


self  and  sirij  and  put  my  feet  on  the  necks  of  all  ray  spir- 
itual enemies. 


*'  Far,  far  away  must  Satan  fly, 
Nor  think  rnc  captive  to  detain  ; 
For  Jesn?,  wlien  he  deigned  to  die, 
My  bondage  burst,  and  broke  my  chain." 


4th.  —  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  the  privilege  of  his 
earthly  courts,  worshipping  under  our  own  vine  and  fig-tree, 
none  daring  to  make  us  afraid.  I  was  greatly  rejoiced 
at  the  ability,  strength,  and  talent,  with  which  Mr.  Nisbet 
spoke  from  Psalms  84  :  11.  "  For  the  Lord  God  is  a  sun 
and  shield  ;  the  Lord  will  give  grace  and  glory :  no  good 
thing  will  he  withhold  from  them  that  walk  uprightly." 
T^Liy  the  truths  adduced  in  this  interesting  discourse 
greatly  comfort  and  strengthen  the  minds  of  God's  Israel, 
in  their  journey  to  the  promised  land.  May  the  love  of 
God  so  delight  my  soul,  that  no  object  may  intervene  ;  but 
that  I  may  pray,  rejoice,  and  give  thanks  always.  An 
alarm  of  fire  has  been  made  to-dav,  but  the  blow  has  been 
suspended.  j\Iy  nervous  weakness  is  so  great,  that  I  am 
seriously  affected  A\ith  the  dismal  cry  of  fire,  which  has 
destroyed  so  many  cities,  and  villages,  and  people,  and 
property  ;  and  at  last  the  great  globe  itself  must  be  rolled 
together  as  a  parchment  scroll  and  all  in  smoke  expire. 
May  this  city  be  preserved  and  spared,  that  my  eyes  may 
never  witness  the  destruction  of  it,  but  may  the  angels  of 
God  keep  it,  and  may  true  religion  prosper  and  revive  in 
the  midst  of  it,  that  thousands  of  ])recious  immortal  souls 
may  be  raised  up  to  join  the  heavenly  hosts  above  in  eter- 
nal praise  and  adoration  to  Father,  Son,  and  Holy  Ghost. 
Amen. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


337 


I  ray  spir- 


ge  of  his 
d  fig-tree, 
^  rejoiced 
[r.  Nisbet 
d  is  a  sun 
;  no  good 
:)ri'j:litlv." 
discourse 
I's  Israel, 
le  love  of 
,'cne  ;  but 
ys.  An 
has  been 
:liat  I  am 
vhich  has 
ople,  and 
be  rolled 
e  expire, 
eyes  may 
angels  of 
revive  in 
»rtal  souls 
e  in  eter- 
ly  Ghost. 


10th.  —  Preaching  from  Psalms,  "  Create  in  me  a  clean 
heart,  0  God."  May  this  be  the  prayer  of  every  soul, 
until  sin  be  all  destroyed.  0,  what  beauty  did  I  discover 
in  the  worship  of  God  this  day  !  Glory  be  to  his  holy 
name  for  the  whole  scheme  of  redemption,  through  the 
atonement  which  infinite  wisdom  has  contrived,  and  bound- 
less mercy  has  accomplished,  in  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord. 
Thou  art  worthy,  0  Lord,  ten  thousand  times  ten  thousand 
more  than  men  or  angels  can  ever  ascribe  unto  thee. 

*'  O'erwhelmcd  with  thy  stupendous  grace, 
I  shall  not  in  tliy  presence  move  ; 
But  breathe  unutterable  praise, 

And  rapturous  awe  and  silent  love." 

11th.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  Mark  4 : 
3-0.  "  Behold,  there  went  out  a  sower  to  sow.  And  it 
cnme  to  pass  as  he  sowed,  some  fell  by  the  way-side,  and 
tho  '  wis  of  the  air  came  and  devoured  it  up.  And  some 
f.u  n  stony  ground,  where  it  had  not  much  earth  ;  and 
immediately  it  sprang  up,  because  it  had  no  depth  of  earth. 
But  when  the  sun  was  up,  it  was  scorched ;  and  because  it 
hand  no  root,  it  withered  away.  And  some  fell  among 
thorns,  and  the  thorns  grew  up,  and  choked  it,  and  it 
yielded  no  fruit.  And  other  fell  on  good  ground,  and  did 
yield  fruit  that  sprang  up,  and  increased,  and  brought 
forth,  some  thirty,  and  some  sixty,  and  some  an  hundred. 
And  he  said  unto  them,  He  that  hath  ears  to  hear,  let  him 
hear." 

Let  it  be  observed,  that  to  hear,  to  understand,  and  to 
bring  forth  fruit,  are  the  three  grand  evidences  of  a  genu- 
ine believer.     He  who  does  not  hear  the  word  of  wisdom 
cannot  understand  what  makes  for  his   peace  ;    and  he 
129* 


338 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


who  (loos  not  understand  what  the  gospel  requires  him 
to  be  and  and  to  perform,  cannot  bring  for  thfruit ;  and  he 
who  is  not  very  fruitful,  cannot  be  a  disciple  of  Christ ; 
and  he  who  is  not  Christ's  discii)le,  cannot  enter  into  the 
kingdom  of  God. 

Let  it  be  further  observed,  that  the  unfruitfulness  of  the 
different  lands,  was  not  owing  to  bad  seed  or  an  unskilful 
sower  ;  but  because  they  were  careless,  inattentive,  and 
worldly-minded. 

I  beseech  the  Lord  to  crown  the  labor  of  those  who 
have  sown  seed  in  his  vineyard  to  day ;  may  it  be  greatly 
blessed  to  the  ears  and  hearts  on  which  it  fell ;  to  enhghten 
the  understandings  of  those  who  are  dark  and  ignorant ; 
may  the  good  spirit  reach  every  capacity. 

Rev.  Mr.  D.  preached  from  Acts  28  :  28.  ''  Be  it 
known  therefore  unto  you,  that  the  salvation  of  God  is  sent 
unto  the  Gentles,  and  that  they  will  hear  it." 

God  is  a  wonder-working,  all-powerful,  all-wise,  and  gra- 
cious Being  ;  full  of  compassion,  and 

"  Moves  in  a  mysterious  way, 
His  wonders  to  perform." 


When  I  was  first  moved  to  consider  the  dreadful  state 
of  the  world  by  reason  of  sin,  and  being  fully  persuaded 
that  a  great  change  would  take  place  in  the  world,  and 
that  the  time  was  near,  and  that  it  would  occur  suddenly, 
I  frequently  expected  that  it  would  burst  forth  as  on  the 
day  of  Pentecost.  Many  times  in  the  congregation,  I  would 
be  looking  for  a  miraculous  out-pouring  of  the  Holy  Spirit 
upon  the  assembl}'-  ;  and  would  feel  quite  disappointed, 
because  there  was  no  uncommon  movement  on  the  minds 
of  the  people. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


339 


uires  him 
it ;  and  he 
Df  Christ ; 
n*  into  the 

[less  of  the 
1  unskilful 
ntive,  and 

those  who 
be  greatly 
>  enlighten 

ignorant ; 


.     ''  Be  it 

jod  is  sent 

e,  and  gra- 


adful  state 
persuaded 
world,  and 
•  suddenly, 
1  as  on  the 
on,  I  would 
loly  Spirit 
sappointed, 
the  minds 


From  my  own  feelings,  I  had  imbibed  the  idea  that  the 
Lord  would  raise  up  such  a  church  as  had  never  before 
existed  on  earth,  for  holiness  and  extension,  and  magnify 
his  Holy  name,  and  shew  forth  his  power,  and  glory  every 
where. 

I  have  been  for  many  years  eyeing  with  care  the  work- 
ings of  Providence,  in  the  many  changes  both  in  the  polit- 
ical and  religious  world,  and  have  thought  sometimes  I 
could  see  the  cloud  arise,  little  as  a  human  hand,  and  that 
which  the  little  stone  cut  out  of  the  mountain  without 
hands  prefigured,  which  should  fill  the  whole  earth. 

Since  the  Bible  Society,  Missionary  Societies,  Sunday 
School,  Tract  Societies,  and  Temperance  Associations 
have  been  formed  ;  these  all  being  in  active  operation,  are 
so  many  instruments  in  the  hand  of  the  Lord,  to  make  the 
crooked  straight,  and  the  rough  j)laces  smooth. 

However  I  may  have  been  mistaken  as  to  the  time,  and 
the  manner  of  bringing  about  the  world's  regeneration,  I 
still  hope  and  pray  that  the  means  employed,  may  be  suc- 
ceeded by  the  divine  blessing  ;  that  all  the  ends  of  the 
earth  may  see  the  time,  when  Jesus  shall  reign  King  of 
nations,  as  he  now  reigns  King  of  saints. 

25//i.  —  Rev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  1  Tim.  6  :  11. 
"  But  thou,  0  man  of  God,  flee  these  things  :  and  follow 
after  righteousness,  godliness,  faith,  love,  patience,  meek- 


ness. 

rv 


J5 


rhou,  who  hast  taken  God  for  thy  portion,  and  art  seek- 
ing a  city  that  hath  foundations,  whose  builder  is  the  liv- 
ing God,  flee  these  things.  Escape  for  thy  life.  Follow 
after  righteousness,  justice,  and  uprightness  in  all  thy  deal- 
ings with  men  ;  godliness  —  a  thorough  conformity  to  the 
image  of  God  and  mind  of  Christ  ;  faith  in  Jesus,  and  in 


340 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


M''.  K 


all  that  ho   has  spoken  ;  and  ficleHtj  to  the  talents  thou 
hast  received,  and  the  office  with  which  thou  art  intrusted. 

What  shall  I  render  to  the  blessed  Jesus  ?  who  gave 
himself  up  a  sacrifice  to  atone  for  sin,  without  which,  I 
never  could  have  found  pardon,  No,  I  must  have  suffered 
under  the  penalty  of  the  broken  law  to  all  eternity  :  But 
a  sure  remedy  is  found  for  all  in  Jesus'  name. 

Feb.  Id.  —  Rev.  W.  Smithson  preached  from  John  14 : 
C).  "  I  am  the  way,  the  truth,  and  the  life  ;  no  man  com- 
eth  unto  the  Father,  but  by  me. 

Christ  is  the  way  :  By  his  doctrine,  by  his  example,  by 
his  sacrifice,  by  his  Spirit. 

He  is  the  truth  :  in  opposition  to  all  false  religion  ;  to 
the  Mosaic  law,  which  was  only  the  shadow,  not  the  truth 
or  substance  of  the  good  things  which  were  to  come.  And 
in  respect  to  all  the  promises  of  God,  lie  is  the  life,  both 
in  grace  and  glory  ;  the  life  that  not  only  saves  from  death, 
but  destroys  it. 

No  man  cometh  unto  the  Father,  by  any  other  doctrine, 
by  any  other  merit,  or  by  any  other  intercession  than 
mine.  My  adorable  Savior,  who  was  once  a  man  of  sor- 
rows and  acquainted  with  grief,  is  now  on  the  throne  of 
grace  and  glory,  high  and  lifted  up  ;  whose  train  filleth 
the  heaven  of  heavens.  Hallelujah  !  the  Lord  omnipo- 
tent reigneth. 

6th.  — I  feel  my  obligations  to  love  and  praise  the  Lord 
for  having  brought  me  out  of  my  former  state  of  darkness, 
ignorance,  fear,  and  terror ;  a  guilty  conscience,  a  hard 
heart  ;  not  knowing  how  to  pray,  nor  for  what  to  pray  ; 
nor  did  I  know  the  Lord  as  a  friend  ;  but  feared  him,  as 
an  enemy.  But  blessed  be  the  Lord  for  an  enlightened 
mind,  a  new  heart,  a  spiritual  birth,  redemption,  a  hope  of 


MRS.    MARY   I3RADLEY. 


341 


lents  thou 
intrusted, 
■who  gave 
-  Avhich,  I 
c  suffered 
lity  :  But 

John  14: 
man  coin- 
ample,  by 

igion  ;  to 
the  truth 
)me.  And 
!  life,  both 
•om  death, 

'  doctrine, 
ssion  than 
lan  of  sor- 
throne  of 
•ain  filleth 
d  omnipo- 

!  the  Lord 
darkness, 
ce,  a  hard 
t  to  pray  ; 
id  him,  as 
^lightened 
,  a  hope  of 


5 


heaven,  through  sactification  of  the  Spirit,  and  belief  of 
the  truth.  I  want  a  constant  supply  of  grace,  and  a  fresli 
manifestation  of  divine  love. 

"  Kvory  momont,  Lord,  I  nooi!, 
Tlic  merits  of  thy  dcatli." 

S7/h  — Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  Ephes.  3  :  10-10. 
"  That  he  would  grant  you,  according  to  the  riches  of  his 
glory,  to  be  strengthened  ^vith  might  by  his  Spirit  in  the 
inner  man  ; 

"  Tliat  Chri.  nay  ell  in  your  heart..  '-^  laith  ;  that  ye, 
being  rooted  and  grounded  in  love, 

"  May  be  able  to  comprehend  with  all  saints  what  is  the 
breadth,  and  length,  and  depth,  and  height ; 

"  And  to  know  the  love  of  Christ,  which  passelh  knowl- 
edge, that  ye  might  be  filled  with  all  the  fulness  of  God." 

But  what  can  the  aposth^  mean  by  the  breadth,  lengtli, 
depth,  and  height,  of  the  love  of  God  ?  Imagination  can 
scarcely  frame  any  satisfactory  answer  to  this  question. 
It  takes  in  the  eternity  of  God.  God  is  love  ;  and  in 
that,  an  infinity  of  breadth,  length,  depth,  and  height,  is 
included  ;  or  all  are  lost  in  this  immensity.  It  comprehends 
all  tliat  is  above,  all  that  is  below,  all  that  is  past,  and  all 
that  is  to  come.  In  reference  to  human  beings,  the  love  of 
God,  in  its  breadth,  is  a  girdle  that  encompasses  the 
globe  ;  its  length  reaches  from  the  eternal  purpose  of  the 
mission  of  Christ,  to  the  eternity  of  blessedness  which  is 
to  be  spent  in  liis  inettable  glories  ;  its  depth  reaches  to 
the  lowest  fallen  of  the  sons  of  Adam,  and  to  the  deepest 
depravity  of  the  human  heart  ;  and  its  height  to  the 
throne  of  Christ. 


342 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


15th.  —  Rev.  W.  S.  |)rcachcd  from  Isaiah  35:  10. 
*'  And  the  niusomcJ  of  the  Lord  shall  return,  and  come 
to  Zion  with  son.^s  and  everlasting  joy  upon  their  heads  : 
they  shall  obtain  joy  and  gladness,  and  sorrow  and  sighing 
shall  flee  awa}'."  llow  happy  arc  the  souls  freed  from  the 
bondage  of  sin  and  Satan  I  and  why  should  any  remain  in 
thraldom,  since  the  atonement  is  made,  the  great  redemp- 
tion price  paid,  and  justice  fully  satished  V  The  purifying 
Livers  and  fountain  oF  mercy  ;  tlie  living  high  Piiest,  and 
his  prevailing  advocac}'  ;  the  exalted  King,  with  his  ])ower 
to  deliver ;  are  all  ready,  Avaiting  the  sinner's  acceptance  ; 
being  sought,  to  ho  exercised  in  his  salvation,  to  cause  sor- 
row and  sighing  to  ilec  away  forever,  and  the  oil  of  joy, 
and  garments  of  praise  to  fill  and  adorn  his  soul.  0,  joy- 
ful sound  of  gospel  grace  ! 

'22c?.  — Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  John  G  :  27.  "  La- 
bor not  for  the  meat  which  perisheth,  but  for  that  meat 
which  endurcth  unto  everlasting  Hfe,  which  the  Son  of  man 
shall  give  unto  vou  :  for  him  hath  God  the  Father  sealed." 
lie  w'ho  labors  not  in  the  work  of  his  salvation,  is  never 
Hkely  to  enter  into  the  kingdom  of  God.  Though  our 
labor  cannot  purchase  it,  either  in  Avhole  or  in  part,  yet  it 
is  the  way  in  which  God  chooses  to  give  salvation,  and  he 
that  will  have  heaven  must  strive  for  it.  Every  thing 
that  can  be  possessed,  except  the  salvation  of  God,  is  a 
perishing  thing ;  this  is  its  essential  character,  it  can  last 
to  us  no  longer  than  the  body  lasts.  But,  Avhen  the  earth 
and  its  produce  are  burnt  \ip,  this  bread  of  Christ,  his 
grace  and  salvation,  Avill  be  found  remaining  unto  eternal 
life.  This  is  the  portion  after  which  an  immortal  spirit 
should  seek. 

As  a  person  who  wishes  to  coniinunicatc  his  mind  to 


MUS.    MAllY   BUALLKY. 


343 


I  35:  10. 
,  and  como 
leii'  heads  : 
ind  si^hini' 
cd  from  the 
f  remain  in 
sat  redcmp- 
0  puritying 
Priest,  and 
h  his  })owei' 
cccptancc  ; 
0  cause  sor- 
oil  of  joy, 
1.     0,joy- 

!27.  "  La- 
that  meat 
Son  of  man 
cr  scaled." 
n,  is  never 
'honij-h  our 
lart,  yet  it 
on,  and  he 
']very  thing 
God,  is  a 
,  it  can  last 
n  the  earth 
Christ,  his 
nto  eternal 
ortal  spirit 

is  mind  to 


another  ^Yho  is  at  a  distance  writes  a  letter,  seals  it  with 
his  own  seal,  and  sends  it  directed  to  the  person  for  whom 
it  was  written,  so  Clirist,  who  lay  in  t!»o  bo«<om  of  tlio 
Father,  came  to  interpret  the  divine  will  to  man,  bearing 
the  image,  superscription,  and  seal  of  God,  in  the  immacu- 
late holiness  of  his  nature,  unsuUieil  truth  of  his  doctrine, 
and  in  the  astonishing  evidence  of  his  miracles. 

March  Isf,  18o5.  —  Hcv.  W.  S.  prcacho'^  from  Zech. 
18  :  1.  "  In  that  day  there  shall  be  a  fountain  opened  to 
the  house  of  David,  and  to  the  inhabitants  of  Jerusalem, 
for  sin  and  for  uncleanness." 

A  fountain  :  the  source  of  mcrcv  in  Christ  Jesus,  for 
such  like  persons  as  the  Jews  were  in  every  part  of  tli"ir 
history,  and  in  their  last  times,  when  they  clamored  for  the 
blood  of  Christ,  and  pursued  him  unto  death  !  Learn  from 
this  for  whom  Christ  died  !  These  were  the  worst  of  the 
human  race  ;  and  if  he  died  for  them,  none  need  despair. 
They  rejected,  betrayed,  crucified,  slew,  and  blasphemed 
Christ,  and  afterwards  persecuted  his  followers.  For  those 
he  died  !  Yes,  and  he  tasted  death  for  every  man  ;  for 
the  removal  of  the  guilt  of  sin,  and  fur  the  purification  of 
the  soul  from  the  uncleanness  of  sin. 

Wi.  —  ]\rr.  Xisbet  preached  from  Psalms  40  :  1,  2,  3. 
"  I  Avaited  patiently  for  the  Lord  ;  and  he  inclined  unto  me, 
and  heard  my  cry.  He  brouglit  me  up  also  out  of  a  horri- 
ble pit,  out  of  the  miry  clay,  and  set  my  feet  upon  a  rock, 
and  established  my  going?.  And  he  hath  put  a  new  song 
in  my  mouth,  even  praise  unto  our  God  :  many  shall  see 
it,  and  fear,  and  shall  trust  in  the  Lord."  The  two  pre- 
ceding Psalms  are  proofs  of  the  patience  and  resignation 
with  which  David  Avaited  for  the  mercy  of  God.  This 
shows  how  he  succeeded,  and  was  brought  out  of  a  horrible 


314 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


pit,  wlicro  notliin;^  was  heard  but  the  howlingfj  of  wild 
beasts,  or  the  hollow  sonmla  of  winds  reverberated  and 
broken  from  tho  crag;:;y  sides  and  roof.  And  from  tlio 
miry  clay,  where  the  longer  ho  stayed  the  deeper  he  sank, 
and  was  utterly  unable  to  save  himself  from  the  i)it  of  j)er- 
dition  and  the  mud  of  corruption.  These  are  figurative 
expressions,  to  ])oint  out  the  dreary,  dismal,  ruinoua  state 
of  sin  and  guilt,  and  the  utter  inability  of  a  condemned 
sinner  to  save  himself  either  from  the  guilt  of  his 
conscience  or  the  corruption  of  his  heart.  But  he 
obtained  safety,  set  my  feet  upon  a  rock,  changed  my  state 
from  guilt  to  pardon,  from  corruption  to  holiness  ;  in  con- 
sequence of  which  my  goings  are  established.  I  have  now 
power  over  all  sin,  and  can  walk  steadily  in  the  way  that 
leads  to  God's  kingdom.  Praise  for  a  sense  of  God's 
favor,  was  a  new  song  to  him.  Cheerfulness  and  joy  had 
long  been  strangers  to  him  ;  but  now  many  shall  see  it, 
and  shall  trust  in  the  Lord.  Even  the  worst  of  sinners 
shall  not  despair  of  mercy,  being  penitent,  when  they  see 
that  I  have  found  favor  in  his  sight. 

VZtli.  —  0,  my  blessed  Lord,  how  great  is  thy  good- 
ness ;  whatever  way  I  turn  the  eye  of  my  mind,  I  see  thy 
kind  hand ;  I  also  realize  my  own  insufficiency  to  make 
those  returns  which  I  ought.  0,  kindle  up  in  my  soul 
those  flames  of  heavenly  love,  which  are  so  desirable  to  a 
meek  and  lowly  follower  of  Jesus  Christ. 

"  How  happy  the  man  ■vvhojc  hoart  is  set  free, 
The  people  that  can  be  joyful  in  Thoe  1 
Their  joy  is  to  walk  in  the  light  of  Thy  face  ; 
And  still  they  are  talking  of  Jesus'  grace." 

Ibth.  —  llcv.  "\V.  S.  preached  from  Ezekiel  33:  11. 
"  Say  unto  them,  As  I  live,  saith  the  Lord  God,  I  have 
no  pleasure  in  the  death  cf  the  wicked ;  but  that  the 


MRS.    MAUY    IIUADI.EY. 


045 


3kofl  tarn  from  li 


and  li 


turn 


turn  vc  fri 


yo,  turn  yc  trom 
your  evil  ways  ;  for  why  will  yc  <lio,  0  house  of  Israel  ?" 
M:iy  this  subject  suitably  impress  every  miml,an(l  particu- 
larly those  who  are  out  of  the  ark  of  safety,  that  this  pow- 
erful Word  may  be  like  a  t\vo-ed;^ed  sword  to  every  care- 
less  sinner's  heart ;  that  those  who  are  feeding  u})on  husks 
with  the  swine,  contenting  themselves  with  the  vanities  and 
sensual  })leasures  of  this  world,  may  feel  the  solemn  appeal, 
"  Why  will  ye  die  ?  "    Why  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  my  reproofs 
and  invitations  which  I  give  you  this  day  ?     It  may  be  it 
is  the  last  call  which  some  of  you  will  over  have,  and  should 
you  be  rerpiired  to  render  up  your  account  before  another 
Sabbath  what  will  you  say  ?     AVliat  excuse  will  you  make 
Avlien  you  must  appear  before  him  that  sitteth  upon  the 
throne  ;  before  him  who  spilt  his  precious  ])lood  upon  the 
cross  to  purchase  your  pardon  ;  to  screen  you  from  the  pit 
of  destruction  ;  from  the  jaws  of  Satan  ;  from  the  hurtling 
lake  which  will  never  be  (jucnched  ?     Can  you  live  in 
everlasting;  burnini'  ?    Can  vou  dwell  at  case  in  the  flames 
of  hell  forever  ?     Now  is  the  time  to  make  your  choice  ; 
depend  upon  it  tliat  as  you  sow  in  time,  you  will  reap 
in  eternity ;  if  you  sow  to  the  flesh,  you  will  of  the  flesh 
reap  corruption  ;  but  if  you   sow  to   the  Spirit,  you  will 
of  the  Spirit  reap  life  everlasting.     Why  then  will  you 
choose  the  road  to  hell,  since  pardon  is  freely  oftered  to 
you  ?    Why  will  you  grieve  your  blessed  Savior,  and  slight 
his  offered  grace  ?    Why  will  you  spurn  his  mercy  ?    Why 
will  you  resolve  to  die  ? 


"  Come,  sinners,  to  tlie  gospel  feast ; 
Let  every  soul  be  Jesus'  guest ; 
Ve  need  not  one  he  lel't  oeliind, 
For  God  Imth  bidden  all  mrinkinil." 


i50 


34G 


LIFK    AND    EXl'lililEXCE   OF 


'2'2d.  —  \\ev.  S.  B.  prcacliod  tVom  Luko  '2:29-.*Jl. 
"  Lord  now  Icttcst  llioii  ih.y  servjint  depart  in  peace,  ac- 
cordiu;^  to  tliy  word  :  For  mine  eyes  have  seen  thy  salva- 
tion, Which  thou  hast  prepared  belbre  the  laco  ol'  all 
people." 

Wliat  must  ihc  holy  soul  of  this  man  have  felt  in  this 
moment  !  U  inestimahle  i^rivile^^o  1  And  yet  ours  need 
not  be  inferior  :  even  Christ  in  the  arms  could  not  avail  a 
man,  if  he  were  not  formed  in  his  heart.  Christ  is  called 
our  salvation,  as  he  is  called  our  life,  our  peace,  our  hope; 
that  is,  he  is  the  author  of  all  these  to  them  'vvho  believe. 

►Salvation  is  here  rc})re8ented  under  the  notion  of  a  feast, 
•which  (Jod  himself  has  provided  for  the  whole  world  ;  and 
to  partake  of  which  he  has  invited  all  the  nations  of  the 
earth.  Salvation  is  properly  the  food  of  the  soul,  by 
■which  it  is  nourished  unto  eternal  life  :  he  that  receiveth 
not  this,  must  perish  forever. 

As  my  outer  man  decays,  may  my  inner  man  be  renewed 
day  by  day  ;  and  as  I  am  drawing  nearer  to  the  close  of 
hfe,  may  my  views  of  heaven  expand,  and  my  soul  rejoice 
in  hope,  with  a  full  prospect  of  entering  into  the  joys  of  my 
Lord. 

29tJt.—  UQy.  W.  S.  preached  from  Phillip.  3:8,9.  "  Yea 
doubtless,  and  I  count  all  things  but  loss,  for  the  excellency 
of  the  knowledge  of  Christ  Jesus  my  Lord  :  for  whom  I 
have  suifercd  the  loss  of  all  things,  and  do  count  them  but 
dung  that  I  may  win  Christ  :  and  bo  found  in  him,  not 
having  mine  own  righteousness,  which  is  of  the  law,  but 
that  which  is  through  the  faith  of  Christ,  the  righteousness 
which  is  of  God  by  faith. 

That  superior  light,  information,  and  blessedness  which 
come  through  the   gospel  of  Jesus  Christ  ;  justification 


i 


s 


MUrf.    MAUY    IiFlAI>LnV. 


847 


20-31. 

eace,  ac- 
hy sivlva- 
10  oi'  all 

.'It  ill  this 
)ur3  need 
ot  avail  a 
1  is  called 
Dur  hope ; 
I  believe, 
af  a  feast, 
)rld  ;  and 
ns  of  the 
soul,  by 
receiveth 

renewed 
lO  close  of 
111  rejoice 
oys  of  my 

0.  "Yea 

xcellency 
r  whom  I 
them  but 
him,  not 
law,  but 
itcousness 

ess  which 
stification 


through  his  Idood,  sanctlfication  l)y  his  Spirit,  and  eternal 
glory  through  his  merits  and  intercession. 

These  arc  the  biessinirs  held  out  to  us  by  the  gospel,  of 
which  and  the  haw  Jesus  Clirist  is  the  sum  and  substance: 
for  whom  I  have  thrown  awjiy  all  things.  1  have  made  a 
voluntary  (rhuico  of  Christ,  his  cross,  his  fioverty,  and  his 
reproach  ;  and  lor  these  1  have  freely  sacriticcd  all  1  had 
from  the  world,  and  all  I  could  expect  from  it  ;  and  count 
it  as  the  vilest  dross  or  refuse. 

With  his  best  things  the  apostle  freely  parted,  judging 
them  all  loss  while  juit  in  the  place  of  Christ  crucified  ; 
and  Christ  crucified  he  esteemed  infinite  gain,  when  com- 
pared with  all  the  rest. 

May  I  bring  forth  fruit  in  old  age,  that  I  may  be  fat  and 
flourishing  in  the  house  of  my  God. 

"  0,  wliat  Imth  .Tcsii-i  1  onj^ht  lor  mo, 
Uc.lnrc  my  nivisln-d  oyc-s  ? 
Kivcrs  of'lit'o  diviiio  I  see  ! 
Ami  tiocs  of  I'liruili.-t.'  I  " 

Ajn'il  1st.  —  0  my  adorable  Savior,  I  praise  thy  holy 
name  for  the  many  past  favors  and  })rcsent  blessings  1 
enjoy,  and  for  the  pros})cct  of  still  greater  enjoyments,  if 
found  faithful  to  the  end. 

I  feel  conscious  I  do  not  love  thee  as  much  as  T  ought ; 
0,  why  is  it  that  I  cannot  love  thoe  with  greater  warmth 
and  zeal,  since  all  I  receive  from  thee  is  lovo,  and  all  I  have 
ever  received  from  thee  ?  Yes,  when  I  was  a  stranger, 
and  my  nature  at  enmity  to  thee,  '  received  continual 
acts  of  kindness,  which  evidently  showed,  that  as  a  kind 
and  tender  parent,  thou  didst  wrtch  over  me. 

'•  Closer  and  closer  may  I  chv  v.'  to  his  beloved  embrace  ; 
Expect  his  fulness  to  rccoive.  and  praco  to  answer  LM'ace." 


848 


LIFE   AND    KXPERIEXCE   OF 


UJi.  —  Rev.  S.  B.  preached  from  Gal.  G  :  7.  "Be  not 
deceived  ;    God  is  not  mocked :    for  whatsoever  a   man 

sowcth,  tliat  shall  he  also  reap." 

As  the  husbandman,  in  plou,Ldiing,  sowing,  and  variously 
lahoriug  in  his  fields,  is  supported  by  the  hope  of  a  plenti- 
ful harvest,  which  he  cannot  expect  before  the  right  and 
appointed  time  ;  so  every  follower  of  God  may  be  per- 
suaded that  he  shall  not  be  permitted  to  pray,  weep,  deny 
liimsclf,  and  live  in  conformity  to  his  Maker's  will,  without 
reaping  the  fruit  of  it  in  eternal  glory. 

"  Ami  me  witli  joalons  care, 
As  ill  tliy  sijrlit  to  live  ; 
And  0  I  tliy  .-t'l'Viiiit,  Li)r(l,  jivoparc 
A  strict  acciiLiiit  to  ";ivi;." 


^'Itli.  —  Bev.  S.  Busby  preached  from  Titus  2  :  11. 
"  Who  gave  himself  fur  ns,  tliat  he  might  redeem  us  from 
all  iniijuity,  and  [airify  unto  himself  a  peculiar  people, 
zealous  of  good  works." 

Jesus  gave  his  life  for  the  world,  and  thus  has  purchased 
men  unto  himself  ;  and,  having  purchased  the  slaves  from 
their  thraldom,  he  is  represented  as  strip})Ing  them  of  their 
sordid  vestments,  cleansing  and  purifying  them  unto  him- 
self, that  they  may  become  his  own  servants,  and  bring 
them  out  of  dishonorable  and  o])pressive  servitude,  in  which 
they  had  no  proper  motive  to  diligence,  and  could  have 
no  atlection  for  the  despot  under  whose  authority  they 
were  employed.  Thus  redeemed,  they  become  his  willing 
servants,  and  are  zealous  of  good  works,  affectionately  at- 
tached to  that  noble  emi)loyment  which  is  assigned  to  them 
by  that  Master  whom  it  is  an  inexpressible  honor  to  serve. 
This  seems  to  be  the  allusion  in  the  above  verse. 


i 


MRS.    3IAUY    r.RADLFA'. 


r>40 


"  Cc  not 
a  man 

^'ariously 
a  plcnti- 
•ight  and 
y  be  pcr- 
cp,  deny 
I,  -svitliout 


is2:  It. 
11  us  from 
r   people, 

urclmsed 
ives  from 
m  of  tlicir 
unto  hini- 
lud  brhi.ij; 
,  in  AYliicli 
o\ild  have 
ority  tlicy 
lis  Avilling 
nutelv  at- 
m1  to  ibcm 
V  to  serve. 


Praise  tbo  Lord,  for  the  blessed  privilep;e  of  sitting  under 
the  preacbing  of  bis  gospel,  delivered  in  its  purity.  O  may 
it  produce  tbc  desired  effect,  tbat  we  all  grow  in  grace, 
and  in  tbe  knowledge  of  our  liord  and  Savior,  and  may  be 
purified  as  gold  seven  times  tried  in  a  furnace,  be  zealous 
of  good  works,  and  not  depend  upon  our  works  to  save  us, 
but  upon  tbe  alone  merits  of  Him  wbo  sbed  bis  blood  to 
redeem  us  from  all  ini(|uity. 

Au:/u.<t  30///,  1S!35._-  0  Lord  my  best  dcsiro-;  fuKil, 

And  help  nin  to  resi(,'ii 
Life.  lio:i!tli,  iiiul  comfort  to  tliy  will, 
Till  all  my  jiloa^urfs  tliino." 


a 


If 


Mr.  B.  from  Ilalifox,  proacbed  from  John  14  :  15 
ye  love  me,  keep  my  commandments." 

I  cannot  express  tbe  satisfaction  I  felt  under  tbis  dis- 
course. Tbc  Lord  is  my  portion,  my  choice,  his  word  my 
treasure,  his  promises  my  jewels,  and  I  trust  they  will  sui> 
port  and  comfort  me  in  life's  latest  hour. 

September  Cjth.  — Let  my  grateful  aspirations  ascend  to 
the  throne  for  past  favors,  and  for  their  continuance.  I 
am  only  happy  in  tbe  ardent,  constant  love  of  God, 

"  Fill  all  my  soul  with  puro>t  lovp, 
Tlien  ji)iii  me  to  the  church  above."' 

Dec.  2()th.  —  Thanks  be  to   the   Lord,  for  bis  si)ccial 

care  and  divine  presence  in  times  of  trouble  ;  when  secret 

plots  were  laid  to  destroy  my   reputation  and  take  away 

that  which  was  not  their  own,  and  I   knew  not  how  far 

Satan,  my  grand  enemy,  would  help  them  to  succeed  in 

their  design.     But  tbe  Lord  set  a  hedge  about  me,  and  all 

I   have  !    so  that  no  evil  bath  come  upon  me,  nor  plague 

nigh  my  dwelling. 
30* 


350 


LIFE   AND    EXPEUIENX'K   OF 


Januar}!  l.s-<,  183(5.  — The  past  year's  rnnltiiilicd  mer- 
cies ami  <i;reat  loving  kindness  of  the  Lord,  hiy  us  under 
renewed  obligations  to  our  heavenly  Father,  as  the  Godot* 
providence  ;  but  especially  are  we  called  u])on  to  praise 
our  k^avior  for  the  blessings  of  rcdemiuion.  Forty-eight 
years  of  my  Christian  ]>ilgriniage  have  -witnessed  to  me, 
that  as  a  father  piticth  his  children,  so  the  Lord  pitieth 
those  who  fear  him  ;  and  have  verified  to  me  the  assur- 
ance given  to  the  apostles  ;  "  The  hairs  of  your  head  arc 
all  numbered."  The  person,  offices,  grace,  promises, 
spirit,  salvation,  and  glory  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  I  admire 
and  adore,  and  hope  fully  and  eternally  to  realize  !  'J'hey 
are  now  sweeter  to  me  than  honey,  and  the  honey-comb  ; 
and  their  application  to  my  soul  fill  me  with  unutterable 
jov.     Glory  be  to  His  holv  name  for  ever. 

Sr^it.  2\i<t,  liSot).  —  "Now  arc  we  the  sons  of  God, 
and  it  doth  not  yet  appear  what  we  shall  be  :  but  we  know, 
that  when  he  shall  a|)pear,  avc  shall  be  like  him  ;  for  we 
shall  see  him  as  he  is."     1  John  3  :  2. 

When  he  shall  come  the  second  time  in  his  glorified 
human  nature  to  judge  the  world,  we  shall  be  like  him  : 
0  glorious  assurance  for  the  regenerate  !  who  are  now 
living  to  his  glory.  Faith  triumphs  over  the  last  enemy, 
through  him  who  is  death's  plague  and  the  grave's  de- 
struction ;  the  efficacy  of  whose  jirecious  blood,  is  a  sove- 
reign biilin  for  the  wounded  conscience,  himself  having 
taken  up  our  infirmities,  borne  our  griefs,  carried  our  sor- 
rows, trod  the  wine-jjress  alone  ;  solemn  dereliction  ;  the 
!Son  of  God,  is  the  sacrilice  for  our  sins.  May  all  mankind 
become  soft  -ncd,  subdued,  subjects  of  his  grace,  born 
again  of  the  k>})irit,  sons  and  daughters  of  the  Lord 
Almighty  ;  enlisted  under  his  banner,  and  grow  up  to  the 
stature  of  perfect  men  in  Christ  Jesus. 


i 


ilicel  mcr- 

us  under 

lie  Clod  of 

to  praise 

orty-cight 

cd  to  mc, 

rd  pitieth 

the  assur- 

■  head  arc 

promises, 

1  admire 

cc !    They 

iicy-comb  ; 

iiuttcrablo 

IS  of  God, 
t  -we  know, 
m  ;  fur  we 

is  :T:lorified 
like  him  : 
0  are  now 
ast  enemy, 
rave's   de- 
,  is  a  sove- 
jclf  having 
oil  our  sor- 
ction  ;  the 
U  mankind 
race,  born 
the    Lord 
w  up  to  the 


MRS.    MARY    liRADLEY. 


351 


Mercifully  look  upon  us  in  our  debilitated  state  of  bodily 
weakness,  and  remember  us  in  that  important  hour  of  final 
scitaration  between  soul  and  body. 

JJcc.  4:th,  18-JtJ.  —  Blessed  be  thy  holy  name,  0  Lord, 
that  thou  hast  been  pleased  to  raise  me  up  from  a  bed  of 
sickness,  and  restored  me  to  such  a  stote  of  bodily  strength, 
that  after  an  absence  of  eleven  weeks  from  the  Lord's 
house,  I  have  been  again  enabled  this  day  to  tread  thy 
hallowed  courts. 

I  thank  the  Lord,  that  when  through  debility  I  was  not 
able  to  read  the  word,  and  scarcely  to  think  upon  divine 
subjects^  my  mind  was  supported  with  a  firm  confidence  in 
his  mercy,  that  he  would  not  forsake  me,  and  that  ho 
would  restore  my  bodily  and  mental  energies. 

I  desire  to  consecrate  the  grateful  homage  of  ray  spared 
life  more  than  ever  to  his  glory,  who  has  drawn  me  with 
his  love,  revealed  his  Son  in  my  heart,  and  shown  me  the 
new  and  living  way  to  the  holiest  of  all.  I  pray  for  en- 
largement of  heart,  the  plenitude  of  divine  love,  and  the 
assistance  of  the  Holy  S|)irit,  to  walk  in  the  strait  and  nar- 
row way  to  eternal  life. 

Jannary  Int,  1837.  — This  day  forty-nine  years  ago,  I 
was  enabled  by  grace,  to  enter  into  a  solemn  covenant  en- 
gagement to  be  the  Lord's  and  to  walk  in  his  holy  ways. 
"While  taking  a  retrospect  of  my  past  life,  I  sec  many  de- 
fects :  had  not  the  Lord  by  his  special  care  prevented  me, 
I  fear  I  should  have  forfeited  my  engagements  to  him  ; 
yea,  if  he  had  left  me  to  myself,  I  could  not  have  endured 
the  temptations  and  trials  through  which  I  have  been  called 
to  pass.  Although  I  have  not  during  forty-nine  years 
journeying  in  the  way  to  Canaan  been  weary  ;  but  have 
found  his  yoke  easy,  and  his  burden  light.    1  have  not  for 


352 


U¥E    AND    KXPErilEXCp]    OF 


one  moment  repented  my  sottin,:^  out  in  early  Hie  to  seek 
and  serve  the  Lord  ;  for  he  hfis  been  tlic  ;:^uide  of  my 
youth,  my  sure  ref'ui^e,  to  me  tlie  shadow  of  a  great  rock, 
in  a  weary  land,  and  at  all  times  afforded  me  strength  ac- 
cordinnj  to  mv  day.  Jointlv  with  his  children,  I  scaled 
my  covenant  engagements,  by  partaking  of  the  commemo- 
rative emblems  of  our  crucified  Lord  and  Savior's  broken 
body,  and  the  blood  of  atonement  shed  for  the  remission 
of  sin. 

0,  how  refreshing  to  the  soul  are  the  means  of  grace, 
and  the  ordinances  of  God's  house  !  What  a  mercy  to  the 
world,  and  a  blessing  to  the  church  ! 

VSth.  — This  day  my  mind  was  peculiarly  exercised,  on 
account  of  my  bodily  weakness,  and  the  labors  to  be  per- 
formed ;  indeed,  my  desire  of  retirement,  that  I  might 
have  more  convenient  opportunity  for  devotion,  was  so  great 
that  I  had  much  rather  do  my  own  work,  if  I  had  only 
strength  according  to  my  inclinations. 

While  plodding  on  under  the  exercise  of  my  feelings  on 
this  subject,  I  fell  down  and  prayed  with  such  brokenness 
of  heart  and  faith  that  God  would  answer  ray  petition, 
that  I  felt  my  sotd  much  refreshed,  and  strengthened  ;  and 
when  I  arose  from  prayer,  I  found  the  infirmity  under 
which  I  had  been  laboring  was  entirely  removed ! 


"  Now,  0  God,  thine  own  I  tun, 

Now  I  give  then  liack  tliine  own  ; 
Freedom,  iViond-;,  and  liealtli,  sind  I'iuno, 

Consecrate  to  tlice  alone  ; 
Thine  I  live,  llirico  liappy  I  I 
Happier  still,  if  thine  I  die. 

H/Z*.  —  This  day  I  enjoyed  a  great  degree  of  peace, 
happiness,  and  joy  ;  I  wanted  to  sing,  and  praise  the  Lord 


1 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLKY. 


353 


c  to  seek 
«lo  of  my 
•cat  rock, 
ength  ac- 
,  I  scaled 
ommcmo- 
■'s  broken 
remission 

5f  grace, 
icy  to  the 

rcised,  on 
0  be  per- 

I  micht 
s  so  2;rcat 

had  only 

jclings  on 
fokenness 
r  petition, 
ncd ;  and 

ity  under 

f 


of  peace, 
the  Lord 


all  day  long.  I  felt  tlie  exercise  of  strong  confidence  iti 
him,  and  a  giving  up  of  all  I  have  unto  him.  iSo  true  it 
is,  tlie  Lord  prepares  the  back  fur  tiic  burden. 

At  half  past  nine  o'clock  in  tlie  evening,  the  dismal  cry 
of  fire  was  heard  through  the  city  ;  I  looked  out  and  saw 
the  light  of  a  great  burning  ;  and  in  a  few  minutes  the 
whole  city  was  in  a  dreadful  state  of  alarm  ;  and  not  with- 
out cause  ;  terribic  was  the  sight,  and  awful  was  the  con- 
sequence ;  before  morning,  over  a  hundred  houses  and 
stores  were  consumed,  besides  a  great  amount  in  goods  of 
various  kinds. 

Tiic  neighbors  about  me  expected  their  houses  would  bo 
destroyed,  and  packed  up  their  goods,  and  told  us  wo  were 
ill  imminent  danger,  as  the  lire  was  progressing  with  fearful 
ra[tidity  ;  showers  of  burning  coal  wore  falling  on  and 
round  about  our  house  at  the  time.  I  bless  the  Lord,  for 
the  peace  of  mind  I  enjoyed.  I  felt  a  small  still  voice 
speaking  to  my  heart,  "  There  shall  no  evil  befall  thee, 
neither  shall  any  plague  come  nigh  thy  dwelling  :  never- 
theless, as  I  was  j)ressed  by  others  to  secure  ray  goods,  I 
commenced  packing  up  the  best  of  them  ;  with  my  mind 
calm,  believing  that  the  kind  hand  of  the  Almighty  would 
stop  the  progress  of  tlie  flames,  before  they  should  reach 
us  :  I  prayed  earnestly  that  he  would  do  so.  I  felt  much 
encouraged,  knowing  that  so  many  of  our  ministers  were 
present  on  the  occasion,  and  eye  witnesses  of  the  danger 
to  which  our  chapel  and  mission  premises,  which  had  just 
been  comjilcted,  were  exposed  ;  likewise  the  j.raying  mem- 
bers of  the  church  who  had  so  often  assembled  in  the 
cliai)el  and  vestry.  I  thought  surely  this  occasion  will 
call  forth  their  united  energies  in  prayer,  that  we  may  not 
be  left  destitute  of  a  house  in  which  to  worship  God.     I 


354 


LIFl']    AND    EXPKllIENCE    OF 


adore  thee,  0  Lord,  that  thou  didst  in  thy  cvn  good  time, 
and  of  thy  great  mercy  rebuke  the  destroyer,  answer 
prayer,  and  spare  to  us  the  tabernacles  of  thy  house  and 
our  own.  Tiie  sudden  sliift  of  the  wind  to  blow  directly 
contrary  was  to  us  no  less  miraculous  at  that  special  time, 
than  to  drive  back  the  tide,  or  bid  the  sun  stand  still  ! 
For  to  that  event,  as  the  instrumental  cause,  Ave  are  in- 
debted for  the  preservation  of  all  kind  Providence  spared  us. 

Sept.  Is^,  1844.  —  This  day  I  am  seventy-three  years 
old.  Glory,  honor,  and  praise  be  unto  Almighty  God  for 
his  lovinii;  kindness  and  tender  mercv  toward  me,  an  un- 
worthy  worm  of  the  dust,  in  sparing  mo  to  this  time,  with 
my  face  Zionward.  I  sec  that  imperfection,  unftiithfulness, 
and  short-coming  has  been  mingled  with  my  performances, 
and  that  I  can  place  no  dependence  upon  any  person  or 
thing  beside  Jesus  and  him  crucified.  I  do  trust  that 
God  will  answer  the  many  petitions  which  himself  hath  en- 
abled me,  (unworthy  as  I  am,)  to  p>it  up  to  him,  by  his 
good  Spirit,  both  for  myself,  the  church,  and  the  world, 
for  the  out-pouring  of  liis  Holy  Spirit,  for  the  increase  of 
his  kingdom,  and  for  the  fulfilment  of  all  his  promises, 
which  are  "  Yea  and  Amen  in  Christ  Jesus,  to  all  who  be- 
lieve and  walk  accordin2;  to  his  holv  Word,"  and  that  his 
great  and  holy  name  may  be  glorified,  through  the  merits 
and  atonement  of  Jesus  Christ  our  Lord  and  Savior. 
Amen. 

Sept.  1st,  1848.  —  "  To-day  I  had  the  pleasure  of  wait- 
ing upon  Mrs.  Bradley,  at  her  own  residence  in  Germain 
street,  Saint  John.  I  fouml  her  verv  cheerful,  in  irood 
spirits,  and  (juite  communicative.  She  observed,  '  this 
day  I  'im  seventy-seven  years  of  ai>;e.'  I  read  to  her  a 
few  pages  which  I  had  transcribed  from  her  own  manu- 


MRS.    JMARY    BRADLEY. 


856 


good  time, 
r,  answer 
louse  and 
fV  directly 
jcial  time, 
and  still ! 
re  are  in- 
spared  us. 

ree  years 
y  God  for 
ne,  an  un- 
time,  -with 
itlifulness, 
formances, 
person  or 
trust  that 
If  hath  cn- 
im,  by  his 
;hc  world, 
ncreaso  of 
promises, 
11  who  bc- 
d  that  his 
the  merits 
d    Savior. 


script.  The  interview  was  particularly  interesting,  not 
only  because  of  the  plain,  faithful  testimony  which  she  bore 
to  the  goodness,  grace,  and  love  of  God  to  her  soul  ;  but 
also  the  strong  confidence  she  expressed  in  the  blessed 
Jesus,  as  to  her  hope  of  jovs  to  conic."  —  aS'.  B. 

EVENING'S   WALK. 

COMPOSED    O.N    SEE!>0    AN    OLD    HOOT    RAISED    IP    IN  THE  STREET, 

SUSPENDlNd    A    LAMP. 

1  I  once  stood  flourisliiiiEf  and  fair, 

Willi  all  my  brethren  bless'd  ; 
The  sun  by  day,  tlie  moon  by  night, 
With  fruitful  showers  refresh'd. 

2  But  at  leufrth  an  army  came, 

Sudden  and  undismayed, 
Who  joined  to  rob  me  of  my  fame. 
And  laid  me  in  the  shade. 

!3  I  ha       been  dead  and  buried, 
Fi      forty  years  fornrotleii ; 
But  .   iw  1  have  appeared  again, 
Anu  yet  am  not  all  rotten. 

4  Behold  me,  all  ye  that  pass  by, 
And  woi:der  at  the  si;^ht ; 
I  hold  a  lamp  that  dotii  forewarn, 
The  danurer  in  the  niiriit. 


re  of  wait- 
1  Germain 
1,  in  good 
,X'd,  '  this 
to  her  a 
\vn  manu- 


5  O,  what  a  lesson  doth  this  teach. 
To  me  nnd  all  maiddnd  ; 
Tliat  we  are  born  the  grave  to  reach, 
To  this  must  be  resigned. 

()  But  lo!  a  resurrection  day. 
Most  certainly  will  come; 
When  we  must  stand  before  our  Judge, 
And  hear  our  solemn  dooui. 


350 


LIFE   AND   EXrERIENCE   OJ? 


7  For  that  tremendous  day  prepare, 
Tliat  when  the  end  shall  come, 
We  all  may  in  whiii;  robes  appear. 
Received  and  taken  home. 


MORNING   MUSINGS. 

1  Moses,  the  servant  of  the  Lord, 

Forsaken  and  forlorn  ; 
The  laws  of  man  his  life  forbad 
As  soon  as  he  was  born. 

2  Parental  love  and  pity  bled, 

And  for  his  life  did  plead  ; 
Have  mercy,  Lord,  the  father  cried, 
Have  mercy  on  my  seed. 

3  The  Lord  in  mercy  did  reply. 

In  answer  to  his  prayer  ; 
Your  son  shall  live,  I  '11  raise  him  high  ; 
To  you  I  will  him  spare. 

4  He  shall  a  great  deliverer  prove, 

To  all  the  Hebrew  race  ; 
The  Ejiyptian  bondanre  to  remove, 
And  all  their  wrongs  redress. 

5  Fear  not,  said  He,  b-it  follow  me, 

As  Abraham  did  of  old  ; 
My  truth  indeed  shall  make  you  free. 
My  wonders  to  behold. 


G  And  when  three  months  were  pass'd  awny, 
No  longer  could  they  hide  ; 
Their  infant  son  they  did  convey, 
Along  the  floating  tide. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 

7  When  Pharaoh's  dangfiter  did  repair, 

Alteiidrd  with  hor  train  ; 
To  hirn  she  lent  a  li^toninnr  oar 
And  heard  liini  sore  complain. 

8  Her  heart  was  touched  with  tenderness, 

And  thus  she  did  conceive, 
And  called  for  a  Hebrew  nurse  ! 
The  infant  to  relieve. 


3o7 


way, 


i)  This  is  a  son  of  Israel's  race. 
But  take  him,  nurse,  away  ! 
I  '11  raise  him  up  to  fill  my  place, 
And  Efrypi'd  sceptre  sway. 

10  The  history  we  now  will  leave, 
And  trace  the  hand  of  God, 
Whose  mercy  bade  the  meekest  live, 
To  show  his  power  abroad. 

Jl  The  burningr  bush,  mysterious  sifjlit. 
Was  Moses  called  to  see  ; 
To  which  he  turned  with  delight. 
And  greatly  bless'd  was  he. 

12  And  when  the  Lord  saw  with  pleasure, 

Moses  turned  aside  to  see ; 

God  called  to  him  out  of  the  fire, 

Who  answered.  Here  am  I. 

13  Put  off  thy  shoes  from  off  thy  feet. 

For  this  is  holy  ground  ; 
I  am  the  God  of  Abraham, 
And  here  I  will  be  found. 


31 


858 


LIFE    AND    EXl'EUIKXOE   OF 


The  following  preliminary  remarks,  assign  the  reason 
fur  my  having  written  to  my  brother  the  suhjnined  letter. 

My  brother  and  myself  were  much  nnited  and  fond  of 
each  other  in  childhood  ;  he  was  three  years  the  eldest ;  but 
I  exi)crienced  religion  five  years  before  him,  after  which, 
"wc  became  more  strongly  attached  in  the  bonds  of  Christ- 
ian fellowship.  Our  parents  were  Presbyterians,  and 
taught  us  the  Assembly's  shorter  catechism,  which  served 
to  impress  our  minds  when  young,  witii  those  principles  : 
However,  the  light  which  I  received  by  reading  the  F.crip- 
tures  and  by  Christian  experience,  led  me  to  think  diifer- 
cntly  on  some  })oints  ;  but  I  was  very  close  minded,  und 
thought  if  I  should  dividge  my  sentiments,  1  should  meet 
"with  opposition,  and  I  did  not  wish  to  occasion  dispute,  or 
have  my  feelings  hurt. 

Previous  to  my  brother's  conversion,  I  had  joined  the 
Presbyterian  church  in  Shellield,  of  which  I  was  a  member 
"Nvhen  the  Rev.  Mr.  liishop,  Wesleyan  Missionary,  came  up 
the  river,  who  was  the  first  Wesleyan  minister  I  ever 
heard  or  saw  ;  which  was  about  five  years  after  I  had  ex- 
perienced religion.  The  Rev.  William  Jjlack,and  liishop, 
■were  each  allowed  to  preach  once  in  the  Meeting  House, 
and  the  doors  were  shut  against  them,  for  which  I  was 
grieved  to  the  heart  ;  for  I  had  received  a  great  blessing 
through  their  instrumentality. 

I  talked  with  the  deacon  and  elders  of  the  church  on 
the  subject  ;  and  begged  that  they  might  be  permitted  to 
occupy  the  house  :  and  said  I  wondered  how  they  dared 
to  shut  out  the  ministers  of  Christ,  when  they  had  no  min- 
ister of  their  own.  Thev  said,  how  do  vou  know  that  these 
are  the  ministers  of  Christ  V  adding,  there  Avere  false 
Christs,  and  false  Prophets  :    I  have  not  sent  them,  yet 


MRS.    MARY    liRADLKV. 


OoO 


t'lc  reason 
ncJ  letter, 
and  tbiid  of 
I  eldest ;  but 
after  wliieh, 
Is  of  Christ- 
erians,  and 
»liieli  served 

principles  : 
v^  the  scrip- 
think  dilfer- 
minded,  and 
should  meet 
1  dispute,  or 

id  joined  the 
as  a  member 
ary,  came  up 
:iister  I  ever 
:er  I  had  cx- 
,  and  liishop, 
;ethig  House, 
which  I  Avas 
^reat  blessing 

he  church  on 
permitted  to 
w  they  dared 
y  had  no  min- 
low  that  these 
■e  Avere  ialse 
cut  them,  yet 


they  ran.  Now  it  pccmcd  a  strange  thing  to  mo,  tliat  old 
professors  of  religion  as  they  were,  should  ojipose  th"  \v<u'k 
of  (!()(]  ;  for  a  blessed  revival  of  religion  had  taken  place, 
all  through  the  country.  Hut  when  I  found  thoy  were 
determined  in  their  opposition,  and  I  had  discharged  my 
duty  as  a  member,  T  willnlrew,  took  my  leave,  and  except- 
ing once,  never  more  met  with  them  :  saving  I  would  not 
belong  to  a  church  that  Avould  not  tolerate  the  ministers 
of  Christ. 

As  I  lived  seven  miles  from  the  Methodist  Society  in 
Riielfield,  I  could  not  attend  worship  there,  but  went  with 
my  brother  and  sister,  to  what  they  called  the  New-light 
Meeting,  of  which  Mr.  Klijah  r\sthcr  15rook,  was  the  leader. 
Thoy  licld  many  meetings,  to  consult  \i\n)n  what  plan  to 
j)rocecd  ;  finally  they  conclude<l  to  become  a  IJaptist 
< 'Iiurch,  but  were  not  oriranized,  neither  was  ^Ir.  Ksther 
Brook  ordained  before  I  removed  to  Portland,  which  was 
in  the  rear  1800.  In  the  year  180;5,  I  became  a  mem- 
\h  V  of  the  Wesleyan  cinu'ch.  In  the  year  ISOO,  I  removed 
into  the  city  of  Saint  John,  where  I  expect  to  reside,  until 
I  remove, 

''  To  tny  everlasting  liomc  aSovc." 

My  brother,  to  wliom  I  have  alluded,  was  elected  dea- 
con  of  Mr.  Esther  Brook's  church  at  its  first  tbrraation, 
and  six  of  my  brothers  and  sisters  likewise  became  mem- 
bers of  the  church  ;  and  also  a  number  of  their  descend" 
ants. 

\Vhen  I  have  gone  to  pay  a  friendly  visit  in  that  neigh- 
borhood, I  have  been  so  beset,  rpiestioned,  scrutinized,  and 
judged,  according  to  their  creed,  that  I  was  like  the  speck- 
led bird,  upon  which  all  the  rest  were  pecking 


IS- 


h  ! 


300 


Lirii   AND    EXI'EUIENCK    OF 


AVlion  I  wa3  lust  in  my  Itrotlier's  house,  wo  ■were  so  far 
from  bein^  united  in  senliinent,  that  we  couM  rv>t  be  ecu* 
fiod  by  each  other's  conversation  :  if  I  mei'.i  •n;a  o.  text 
of  scripture,  lie  would  take  it  up,  and  say  1  di(i  -J  under- 
stand it,  and  he  would  run  through  the  scrii)ture3  bringing 
jiassages  to  explain  it  to  me  ;  and  I  could  not  receive  one 
spark  of  light  to  uiy  understanding,  from  all  he  would  say  ; 
but  my  mind  would  become  more  beclouded  and  dark. 

Last  fall,  when  ho  several  times  called  upon  me,  ho 
complained  heavily  of  the  bondage  he  felt  in  his  mind, 
many  of  the  members  of  the  church  to  which  he  belongs 
liaving  imbibed  corrupt  principles,  and  although  he  has 
labored  faithfully  to  convince  them  of  it,  yet  it  is  all  of  no 
avail  ;  on  account  of  which,  he  cannot  any  longer  consci- 
entiously conjmunc  with  them  :  and  yet  feels  so  peculiarly 
circumstanced,  that  he  cannot  join  anywhere  else  with 
olher  clnirches. 

lie  says  lie  emjiloys  a  great  part  of  his  time  in  reading 
the  best  authors,  and  studying  the  scriptures,  to  get  his 
mind  fully  established. 

Perhaps  there  is  not  a  text  in  the  scri{)tnrcs  which  is 
calculated  to  support  Calvinism,  but  what  in  a  lengthy 
conversation  he  will  introduce. 

Such  is  his  retention  of  memory  and  strength  of  mind, 
that  to  engage  him  a  person  must  be  well  armed,  with  a 
sword  of  Damascus  steel,  and  the  sling  of  David,  or  they 
are  in  danger  of  being  conquered.  Perceiving  his  situa- 
tion, and  feeling  my  own  mind  comfortable  and  happy,  I 
thought,  if  I  could  only  have  an  opportunity  to  communi- 
cate to  him  by  the  lamp  of  truth,  the  privileges  to  be  en- 
joyed in  the  light  of  holiness,  and  in  a  friendly  way  give 
him  some  sound  advice,  it  might  prove  a  blessing  to  him. 


MR??.  .MARv  r!u.\r>(j;v. 


MW 


re  so  far 
>t  be  ear 
uil  fl.  text 
A  uuiler- 
bringin;^ 
:civc  one 
luld  say  ; 
lark. 
1  me,  he 
[lis  mind, 
)  belongs 
li  lie  iias 
all  of  no 
jr  consci- 
cculiarly 
,'lsc  with 

reading 
0  get  his 

which  is 
lengthy 

»f  mind, 
1,  ■with  a 
,  or  they 
lis  situa- 

appy,  I 
ommuni- 
0  be  en- 
vay  give 

to  him. 


Accordin'^ly,  I  invited  iiini  to  s[»ond  a  day  with  mo  leforo 
ho  shoidil  return  homo,  and  ho  con'litionallv  cnira-'od  to  do 
so  ;  but  ealliiig  again,  he  said  I  must  excuse  him.  I  I'dt 
disappointed,  and  charged  him  to  call  again  ;  tliat  I  wished 
to  write  l)y  him,  not  liinting  that  tlie  letter  was  for  himself. 
When  he  calle<l,  not  having  finished,  I  apologized,  and 
read  to  him  what  1  had  written  ;  he  heard  me  patiently, 
and  said,  '*  Sister,  if  yo\i  will  finish,  and  forward  your  little 
epistle  as  you  are  pleased  to  call  it,  I  will  thank  you  ;  for 
[  was  happy  while  you  were  reading  it  to  me."  1  re})lied, 
I  would  most  cheerfully  comply  with  his  re([uest. 

^Saint  JoItHj  Dec.  12,  IT'^iU. 

Vrmv  Dfar  Urotiikr  : — As  I  despair  of  having  an 
opportunity  of  saying  to  you  all  I  wish,  I  therefore  take 
this  method  of  convevini!;  to  you  the  views  and  feclini:;s  of 
mv  mind,  concerning  both  you  and  mvself  ;  not  because  I 
think  you  unacrpiainted  with  religious  subjects,  but  to  stir 
up  your  pure  mind  by  way  of  remembrance. 

I  beg  your  indulgence  fcr  my  plain  simple  manner  of 
stating  the  honest  sentiment  of  my  heart,  which  is,  I  hope, 
infiucnccd  by  grace  ;  and  I  pray  that  this  little  epistle, 
may  be  directed  and  applied  by  Heaven.  I  feel  myself  very 
incapable  to  address  you,  as  I  know  you  are  my  superior 
both  in  age,  sex,  and  understanding  ;  but  as  a  hint  from 
an  inferior  may  sometimes  prove  beneficial,  I  am  encour- 
aged to  proceed.  We  both  sprang  from  one  stock,  and 
together  spent  many  days  and  years  in  nature's  darkness, 
ignorant  of  the  grand  end  for  which  we  wei'C  born,  to 
glorify  God  on  earth,  and  enjoy  him  in  heaven  for  ever  : 
lUit  it  pleased  Him,  in  his  own  good  time,  to  open  the  eyes 

il  discover  to  us  our  lost  estate  by 


;r 


'o' 


362 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


nature,  and  pnt  a  cry  into  our  hearts,  what  must  wc  do  to 
bo  saved ;  with  wliat  brokenness  of  heart  for  our  original 
and  actual  sin  and  guilt  of  conscience  did  we  look  to  our 
offended  Creator  for  pardoning  mercj  ?  While  we  felt  the 
sense  of  our  sin  a  burden  intolerable  to  be  borne,  he  inter- 
posed his  saving  grace  ;  appeared  for  us ;  burst  open  our 
prison  doors,  broke  o^'  our  chains,  removed  the  dark  cloud 
which  veiled  our  minds,  and  with  a  still  small  voice  spake 
peace  to  our  souls.  With  what  rapturous  awe  did  we  then 
adore*  admire,  and  praise  him,  from  whom  we  not  only 
derived  our  existence,  but  deliverance  from  all  sin  and  fear 
of  future  misery,  and  a  comfortable  hope  of  enjoying  hap 
piness  beyond  the  grave.  Then  we  were  born  again  from 
above,  adopted  into  Christ's  family,  and  enlisted  under  his 
banner,  the  sheep  of  his  pasture,  members  of  his  church, 
and  laborers  in  his  vineyard. 

The  witness  of  his  pardon  for  our  past  transgressions  by 
the  Holy  Spirit  given  unto  us,  and  all  other  benefits  accru- 
ing unto  us,  we  unitedly  ascribe  to  the  sacrifice,  atonement, 
and  resurrection  of  our  ascended  Redeemer,  who  is  now 
making  intercession  for  his  church,  of  which,  we  trust,  we 
constitute  a  part. 

The  conditions  of  the  new  covenant  agreement,  which 
commenced  at  the  time  c^  our  union  with  Christ,  includes 
on  our  part  the  dedication  of  our  hearts  and  lives,  with  all 
we  have  and  are,  to  him,  and  to  receive  him  in  all  his  cfii. 
ces,our  Prophet,  Priest,  and  King,  and  which  also  involves 
our  duty  to  him,  as  his  children,  stewards,  and  witnesses, 
entrusted  with  talents,  and  time  to  improve  them.  As  a 
father  you  very  well  know  what  obedience  you  expect  from 
your  children,  the  meaning  of  Avliich  you  can  better  real- 
ize than  I  can  describe. 


vfo  do  to 
original 
k  to  our 
^G  felt  tho 
he  inter- 
open  our 
ark  cloud 
ice  spake 
1  we  then 
not  only 
I  and  fear 
lying  hap 
gain  from 
under  his 
is  church, 

essions  by 

fits  accra- 

tonement, 

10  is  now 

trust,  we 

nt,  which 
includes 
s,  with  all 
hll  his  cffi. 
0  involves 
witnesses, 
n.  As  a 
pect  from 
etter  real- 


MRS.    MAIIY    BRADLKY. 


363 


An  enlisted  soldier  is  required  to  be  true  and  fiiithful ; 
must  take  the  oath  of  allegiance  ;  bear  arms  ;  tight  man- 
fully against  the  enemies  of  himself  and  country  ;  and  if 
lie  j)roves  to  be  a  coward,  and  dishonors  or  deserts  the 
ranks,  the  rod  of  discipline  and,  if  taken,  death  is  ire- 
<|ucntly  the  consequence.  What  does  our  King  and  Cap- 
tain require  of  us,  who  are  enlisted  under  his  banner  ? 
That  we  daringly  and  stoutly  oppose  his  and  our  s[)iritual 
foes,  and  never  desert  our  ranks,  or  duty,  or  relax  in  our 
loyalty,  but  be  faithful  unto  death.  The  grand  field-day 
inspection  will  determine  all  the  rest  I 

tShecp  arc  the  most  innocent,  harmless,  and  useful  of  all 
the  quadruped  race  ;  and  because  of  this,  they  have  need 
of  a  watchful,  kind,  and  powerful  shepherd.  'J  he  value 
and  imbecility  of  the  sheep  is  the  strongest  reason  why 
they  should  not  divide  or  stray  from  the  fold  or  shepherd's 
side  ;  for  united  they  are  formidable,  and  in  their  own 
fold  they  are  safe. 

What  a  lesson  of  duty,  obligation,  and  gratitude  we  are 
taught  to  our  divine  Shepherd,  and  with  what  force  and 
beauty  are  these  things  taught  us  in  John  10  ! 

To  be  a  member  of  Christ's  church  is  a  matter  of  great 
importance,  lie  is  its  head,  and  we  are  aware  of  the 
union  Avhich  exists  between  the  head  and  members  of  the 
human  body ;  which  is  the  scriptural  figure  for  showing 
the  union  which  exists  between  Christ  and  his  church. 

•'  Let  us  still  V)  Thee  look  up, 
Tliee,  Thy  Israel's  strcngt'.  and  hope  ; 
Xotliing  know  or  hcek beside 
Jesu.<,  and  liiiu  crucilied." 

We  are  brought  into  the  vineyard,  not  to  be  loiterers, 
but  to  be  laborers.     "  Ye  are  God's  husbandry  ;  ye  are 


364 


LIFE    AND    EXPERIENCE    OF 


God's  building."  As  you  arc  a  husbandman,  you  know 
the  labor  it  requires  to  sow  the  seed  in  the  niorninir,  and 
in  the  cvenin^i!;  not  to  withhold  the  lumd,  and  what  tluit 
means.  "  lie  that  regard(;tli  the  wind  shall  not  sow,  and 
he  that  re;^ardeth  the  rain  shall  not  rea[) ;  "  and  you  know 
the  ground  must  be  well  [)repared  before  it  is  fit  for  the 
recc{)tion  of  the  seed,  and  after  the  seed  is  sown  how  uiueh 
labor  is  necessary  to  keep  down  the  noxious  weeds,  or  else 
it  will  not  bring  forth  fruit  to  perfection, 

Agric\ilture  is  a  beautiful  science,  and  our  Lord  tells  us 
to  labor,  not  only  for  the  bread  that  perisheth,  but  for  that 
which  endureth  unto  eternal  life. 

Now,  if  our  worldly  concerns  and  dispositions  arc  not 
subordinated  by  grace,  we  cannot  attain  that  growth  in 
religion,  which  becomes  a  Christian.  IJoth  the  example  of 
the  fathers,  and  the  command  of  God  teach  us,  that  to 
obey  is  better  than  sacrifice,  and  to  hearken,  than  the  fat 
of  lambs. 

We  all  have  talents  committed  to  us,  in  the  right  im- 
provement of  which  we  shall  be  active,  useful  members  of 
Christ's  militant  church.  If  in  the  pursuit  of  a  heavenly 
inheritance,  we  were  to  en^jiloy  the  same  vigilance  as  those 
do  who  have  in  view  the  enlargement  of  their  earthly  bor- 
dcrs,  do  you  not  thiidv  our  sjiiritual  treasure  would  bo  much 
more  abundant  ?  Then,  if  these  things  which  perish  in  the 
using  excite  so  much  attention,  most  certaiidy  we  ought 
not  to  spare  any  pains  to  secure  those  things  vdiich  arc 
incorruptible,  undefiled,  and  never  fade  away  ! 

The  soul  is  capable  of  seeing,  hearing,  tasting,  and  feel- 
ing, as  well  as  the  body.  Our  outward  senses  require  out- 
ward apjilications,  but  God  spcaketh  to  the  lieart.  It  is 
possible  that  he  may  speak  to  us,  and  by  not  paying  pro})cr 


MRS.    MAllY     miAULEY. 


ob.) 


L  know 
ig,  and 
[It  that 
w,  an'l 
1  know 
for  tlie 
,v  much 
or  else 

tells  lis 
for  that 

arc  not 

DWth  in 

mplc  of 

that  to 

the  fat 

Liht  im- 
hc'i's  of 
avenlv 
s  those 
ily  hor- 

Dc  much 
I  in  the 
ouizht 
Ich  arc 

h'l  feel- 
lire  ont- 
It  is 
5  proper 


attention,  we  may  lose  the  benefit  designed  for  us.  If -vith 
the  eye  of  our  mind,  we  are  constantly  looking  up  to  him 
and  watching  f)r  the  operation  of  his  Spirit  upon  our 
hearts,  and  our  ears  are  attentive  to  the  voice  of  his  Word, 
faith  being  in  exercise,  we  may  ask  and  receive  answers 
continually,  and  our  souls  may  feast  upon  his  love,  and  his 
promises  may  be  our  constant  support.  But  if  we  be  labor- 
ing under  any  particular  trials  or  afliictions,  and  we  give 
up  to  a  continual  fiondering  and  dwelling  upon  them,  and 
do  not  properly  regard  the  Providence  of  (Jod,  and  listen 
to  hiui,  speaking  by  his  Word  and  Holy  kSjjirit  to  our  hearts, 
we  are  not  in  a  capacity  to  receive  instruction  or  consola- 
tion from  him.  ^'ou  know  iF  you  were  engaged  in  a  hurry 
of  business,  or  loud  talking,  a  whispering  voice  would  not 
be  easily  heard  ! 

It  is  our  duty  and  privilege  to  have  a  realizing  sense 
of  the  presence  of  God  upon  our  minds  at  all  times,  and  to 
be  continually  looking  u})  to  him  for  wisdom,  faith,  and 
every  needful  grace,  and  to  pray  for  submission  to  his 
holy  will. 

Afliictions,  you  know,  are  no  marks  of  God's  displeasure, 
"  For  whom  the  Lord  loveth  he  chasteneth,  and  scourgeth 
every  son  whom  he  receiveth." 

It  is  a  delightful  Christian  privilege  to  meditate  much 
upon  th(  Holy  ^^criptures,  which  are  abie  to  make  us  wise 
unto  salvation.  David  said,  "  Let  the  v.  ords  of  my  mouth 
and  the  meditations  of  my  heart,  be  always  acceptable  in 
thy  sight,  0  Lord,  my  strength  ar  1  my  Redeemer." 

'' In  the  beginning,  God  createdjthe  heaven  and  the 
earth.  And  the  earth  was  without  form  and  void  ;  and 
darkness  was  upon  the  face  of  the  deep.  And  the  Spirit 
of  God  moved  upon  the  face  of  the  waters.  And  God  said. 


360 


LIFE    AND    KXrEUIENCE    OF 


Let  tlicrc  be  liiiiht  :  and  thorc  was  lidit.  And  Clod  f^^w 
the  liirlit  tliat  it  was  ;i;ood  :  and  God  called  tlic  liizht  da^^ 
and  the  darkness  ni,i^ht.  And  the  evening  and  the  moni- 
ino;  were  the  first  dav." —  Goi.  1 :   1-5. 

While  reading  this  beautiful  jtassage,  I  made  a  pause,  and 
said  in  my  heart :  in  the  world,  there  are  various  descrip- 
tions of  men  ;  some  are  great,  some  are  wise,  and  others 
are  good  and  pious  :  ]>ut  if  we  may  judge  of  the  great- 
ness, wisdom,  and  goodness  of  men,  by  their  performances 
in  the  Avorld,  what  conceptions  am  \  to  form  of  the  Su- 
preme ]'cing  !  AVhat  wisdom  has  he  disjtlayed  in  universal 
architecture  !  and  with  what  power  did  he  speak  the  word, 
and  it  was  done  !  Astonished  and  amazed,  as  one  awoke 
out  of  sleep  :  althouirh  livinji  in  the  world  so  manv  rears, and 
having  so  manv  times  read  the  account  of  the  creation,  vet 
never  until  this  time,  was  my  mind  so  struck  with  the  won- 
derful phenomenon.  I  am  lost  in  wonder,  and  straitened 
for  want  of  laniiuaire  to  express  mv  mind.  AlthouL::h  firmlv 
believing  the  record  of  God's  word,  and  the  inspiration  of 
his  Holy  Spirit  ;  and  have  folt  his  ojicration  in  my  own 
heart,  and  doubt  not  but  many  others  enjoy  the  same  ; 
yet  1  feel  deeply  sensible  of  the  want  of  projicr  medita- 
tion, concentration  of  faith  on  special  objects,  and  under- 
standing scripture  truths  and  figures,  which  would 
enlarge  the  soul's  capacity,  and  afford  more  extended 
views  of  my  Great  Creator,  both  of  his  goodness,  love, 
and  mercy  to  me,  and  all  mankind  ;  that  thereby  I 
might  feel  my  heart  more  drawn  out  after  him,  and  love, 
and  serve  him  more  perfectly.  I  have  great  reason  to 
lament  that  I  have  been  so  nenTiirent  as  to  mv  reading; 
and  improvement ;  and  have  come  far  short  of  my  duty  : 
for  "  Ye  are  my  witnesses  saith  the  Lord." 


Mild.    MAUY    BUADLEY. 


obi 


rht  (1a^\ 

10  llKJl'll- 

iiisc,and 

(Icscrlp- 
id  others 
10  iircat- 
iriiKincos 
tho  Sii- 
.uiivorsal 
;lio  word, 
10  awoke 
•ear?,nnd 
ition,  yet 
tlie  woir 
trai  toned 
[ih  firmly 
ration  of 
my  own 
e  same  ; 
modi  ra- 
id uiidor- 
li    Avoidd 
extended 
ess,  love, 
lierebv  I 
and  love, 
reason  to 
V  readiinj; 
nv  dntv  : 


God  speaks  to  us  iu  various  ways  ;  His  six  days'  labor, 
and  rest  on  the  seventh,  not  only  teach  us  diligence  in  six 
days,  and  to  hallow  the  Sabbath  day ;  but  his  resting  on 
the  seventh,  is  an  emblem  ot"  the  rest  in  heaven. 

The  darkness  which  was  upon  the  lace  of  the  deep,  fitly 
rci>resents  the  darkness  that  was  upon  our  souls,  before  the 
light  of  divine  knowledge  shone  upon  us  :  But  God  said, 
let  there  be  light,  and  there  was  light.  Yes,  then  I  saw 
clearly  the  sin  of  Sabbath  desecration,  and  all  the  sins  of 
my  life,  and  was  greatly  alarmed  from  the  age  of  six  years 
at  the  thoughts  of  death,  judgment,  thunder,  lightning, 
storms,  high  winds,  bowing  the  trees  and  their  lofty  branches, 
when  terror  seized  u})on  me  ;  and  the  fearful  a})prehcnsion 
that  the  earth  Avould  open  her  mouth  and  swallow  me  up. 
I  thought  I  was  born  into  the  world  a  wicked  child,  and  at 
death  1  should  go  to  everlasting  misery.  I  entertained 
horrible  ideas  of  the  Most  High  ;  that  he  had  made  me 
for  the  |)urpose  of  punishing  me.  The  dread  of  God  and 
his  all-seeing  eye,  filled  me  with  terror.  Conscience  testi- 
fied against  me,  and  1  thouglit,  how  shall  I  stand  before 
my  Judge  ?  If  my  own  heart  condemned  me,  God  is 
greater,  and  knoweth  all  thin;_'s,  and  suicly  he  will  con- 
demn me.  I  had  rather  bear  the  lashes  of  a  thousand 
tongues,  than  the  upbraidiugs  of  a  guilty  conscience. 

I  thought,  what  shall  I  do  ?  Whore  shall  1  flee  for 
refuge  ?  ^I'j  time  is  fast  passing  away,  and  if  I  die  in  my 
siiis,  I  shall  sink  into  everlasting  misery  ;  notwithstanding 
all  Christ  has  done  for  the  siulvation  of  tho  world.  All  my 
resolutions  failed  to  yield  me  comfort.  More  I  strove,  and 
worse  I  grew,  and  what  to  do,  or  which  way  to  obtain  re- 
ligion, I  could  not  tell.  I  was  afraid  after  all  1  should 
miss  of  heaven,  and  hell  would  be  my  portion. 


368 


LIFE   AND   EXPERIENCE   OF 


I  was  fully  convinced  that  sin  was  the  infection  of  the 
heart  ;  and  that  religion  did  not  consist  in  hrcakin,:^  off  the 
outer  hranches  ;  hut  that  it  must  bo  a  work  wrought  in 
the  heart  by  ti^e  Holy  Spirit  ;  and  I  felt  a  great  desire 
that  God  would  accomplish  this  work  in  me.  I  know  that 
I  must  be  born  again  :  for  that  which  is  born  of  the  flesh, 
is  flesh,  and  that  which  is  born  of  the  spirit  is  spirit  ;  and 
they  who  arc  in  the  flesh  cannot  please  God.  I  felt  these 
words  running  through  ray  mind,  "  Behold  !  now  is  the 
accepted  time,  and  behold,  now  is  tlie  day  of  salvation." 
I  thought  it"  1  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  these  calls,  what  reason 
have  I  10  believe,  that  I  shall  ever  have  another  oppor- 
tunitv  '(  and  I  felt  a  determination  to  embrace  them. 

I  felt  much  encouraged  by  these  words  :  "  They  who 
seek  me  early  shall  find  me.  Ask,  and  ye  shall  receive  ; 
seek  and  ye  shall  find  ;  knock,  and  it  shall  be  opened 
unto  you." 

It  was  suggested  to  me,  "  What !  you  become  a  Christ- 
ian !  a  young  girl  like  you  !  How  will  it  be  told  from 
one  to  another  !  and  you  will  be  despised  by  all  who  know 
you  !  What !  become  a  Christian  !  You  will  have  to  sep- 
arate yourself  from  all  your  companions,  and  deny  yourself 
of  all  the  fashionable  amusements  of  life,  so  desirable  to 
the  youthful  mind  ! 

I  meditated  upon  it  for  a  wiiile,  and  had  to  acknowledge 
that  it  would  be  the  case  in  some  degree,  and  felt  the  mor- 
tification of  it.  But  I  paused  awhile,  and  saw  clearly  that 
it  was  the  language  of  the  enemy  of  God  and  my  soul. 
It  occurred  to  me  :  put  these  fancied  pleasures  into  a  bal- 
ance with  an  e'  rnii^  of  misery,  and  see  how  they  com- 
pare !  estimate  -heir  relative  .^jodness  !  I  felt  the  solemn 
realities  had  come  to  a  serious  crisis  ;  and  the  weighty 


MRS.    MARY    I'.RADLEY. 


869 


1  of  the 
:»  off  the 
)n.L:;lit  in 
it  desire 
icw  that 
ic  flesh, 
it  ;  and 
)lt  these 
w  is  the 
vation." 
t  reason 
T  oppor- 

hey  wlio 
•eceive  ; 
!  opened 

b  Christ- 
hl  from 
10  know 
3  to  scp- 
yonrsclf 
ruble  to 

owlcdge 
the  mor- 
irlv  that 
ny  soul, 
to  a  bal- 
10  V  com- 
solemn 
weigh  tv 


•u 


interrogatory  :  Will  you  not  ■willingly  ])art  with  these  vani- 
ties, and  pleasures  of  the  world,  and  forsake  all,  for  the 
favor  of  God,  and  eternal  haiipiuess  beyond  the  grave  ? 

I  replied,  yes  !  Lord  hclj)  me  ;  0  Lord,  save  my  soul 
from  the  snares  of  the  devil. 

Then  it  was  suggested,  that  I  might  enjoy  all  my  youth- 
ful pleasures,  and  when  I  was  grown  old,  then  become  re- 
ligious and  enjoy  heaven  at  last. 

I  replied,  this  also  is  a  temptation  of  Satan.  IIow  do  I 
know  that  1  shall  live  until  I  become  old  ?  I  may  be 
drowned,  or  removed  suddenly  by  some  other  fatal  acci- 
dent, or  cut  off  by  a  short  and  painful  sickness  ;  and  pro- 
vided I  should  be  privileged  with  a  sick  bed,  whether  in 
youth  or  old  age,  I  should  then  have  enough  to  contend 
■with,  in  the  disorders  of  the  body,  without  having  to  pre- 
pare for  vast  eternity. 

I  then  concluded  that  were  all  the  promised  pleasures 
of  time  and  sin,  laid  in  the  scale,  and  contrasted  with  re- 
ligion and  its  enjoyments,  in  time  and  eternity,  that  they 
are  incomparably  lighter  than  the  chaff  which  the  wind 
driveth  away  ! 

I  was  conscious  of  a  two-fold  strife  ;  life  and  death  were 
set  before  me,  and  that  I  had  a  difficult  task  to  perform, 
evil  being  the  food  my  fallen  nature  craved  ;  and  so  inter- 
woven and  combined  with  sin  and  temptation,  that  when  I 
relaxed  in  my  exertions,  and  my  mind  turned  upon  the 
world,  and  the  things  of  it,  I  had  no  power  to  resist  the 
enemy  ;  but  when  my  mind  centred  in  God  and  his  Avord, 
he  strengtlieued  and  encouraged  me  by  his  blessed  prom- 
ises. Thus  I  was  enabled,  after  d  ic  consideration,  to  set 
up  a  firm  and  settled  resolution,  no  longer  to  neglect  my 

salvation. 

S2 


370 


LIFE    AND   tXPEUIE.VCE    OF 


This  rosohitioii  was  like  a  nail  fastened  in  a  sure  place, 
and  as  a  confirmation  of  tlie  divine  approval,  I  derived 
great  comfort  from  tlio  passa;j;e,  "Abraham  believed  God, 
and  it  was  accounted  to  him  for  I'iirhteousness."  I  thouii;ht 
God  had  given  uie  this  token  for  good,  to  encourage  mo 
that  I  had  set  out  in  the  right  way,  and  that  he  would  as- 
sist mo  in  my  heavenly  journey.  As  I  had  never  yet,  to 
my  knowledge,  slied  a  tear  under  a  deep  sense  that  I  was 
a  sinner  against  God,  I  thought  due  conviction  for  sin  had 
not  taken  })lacc  ;  but  all  my  sorrow  and  fear  had  arisen 
from  sclfisli  motives,  to  escape  the  damnation  of  hell,  and 
not  from  a  principle  of  love  to  God.  I  tliercfore  tliought 
the  first  work  upon  my  heart  must  bo  repentance  for  sin, 
realizing  my  guilt  and  danger,  and  cx])Osure  to  the  divine 
displeasure.  I  believerl  myself  a  criminal  and  if  I  died 
as  I  was,  I  covdd  not  l)e  saved.  I  apprehended  all  the 
threatenings  and  judgments  recorded  in  (Jod's  Word,  were 
against  me,  and  the  more  distress  I  felt,  the  more  true  repen- 
tance would  be  evinced.  I  therefore  endeavored  to  en- 
courage it,  and  prayed  and  agonized  unceasingly.  In  what- 
ever my  hands  were  employed,  the  eye  of  my  mind  was 
looking  to  God,  beL^iiinu:  him  to  comiilete  his  work  in  me. 
At  length  I  began  to  feel  the  hardness  of  my  heart  give 
way  to  penitential  sorrow  for  my  sin.  Tears  flowed  freely 
from  a  sense  of  my  Savior !«  suffering  and  sacrifice.  I  had 
likewise  a  deep  discovery  of  the  exceeding  sinfulness  of 
sin.  I  was  truly  ashamed  before  God,  and  saw  that  the 
purity  of  his  holy  law  and  divine  jtistice  required,  that  if 
I  died  in  my  sins,  I  must  have  owned  the  sentence  just, 
and  said  amen  to  my  own  condemnation.  But  although  I 
had  such  a  terrifying  sight  of  my  position,  I  was  glad  I  saw 
and  felt  it ;  for  I  fled  to  Jesus,  and  felt  a  constant  hunger- 


sure  place, 
.1,  I  derived 
'liovcd  God, 
"   I  thou.^ht 
icouragc  me 
le  would  as- 
cver  yet,  to 
3  that  I  was 
1  for  sin  had 
had   arisen 
of  hell,  and 
ore   thought 
auco  for  sin, 
0  the  divine 
nd  if  I  died 
ided   all  the 
Word,  were 
e  true  repcn- 
ored   to  en- 
y.  In  what- 
[IV  mind  was 
vork  in  me. 
)r  heart  give 
owed  freely 
tice.     I  had 
infulness  of 
aw  that  the 
lired,  that  if 
ntcnce  just, 
t  although  I 
IS  glad  I  saw 
tant  hunger- 


MliS.    JIAKY    IJIIADLEV. 


371 


\1 


ing  and  thirsting  after  righteousness,  a  longing  to  he  made 
holy,  cleansed  from  all  sin.  1  was  much  encourngod  by 
hope  of  attainment,  and  drawings  from  above,  and  felt  I 
was  willing  to  jiart  with  all  for  God. 

It  occurred  to  mo  that,  as  I  loved  God  above  every 
thing,  and  thought  that  I  had  been  enabled  by  grace  to 
concjuer  the  devil,  and  my  own  evil  heart,  that  I  might  try 
myself,  to  ascertain  whether  I  was  in  a  safe  state,  by  allow- 
ing my  thoughts  to  turn  u})on  those  objects,  which  I  had 
strove  so  hard  to  overcome  ;  to  see  whether  the  inclination 
still  remainL'd  to  enjoy  them  ;  but  1  had  no  sooner  made 
the  experiment  than  I  found  Satan  as  ready  to  tempt  as 
ever,  and  my  own  heart  to  pander  to  the  temptation.  I 
evidently  saw  that  if  I  did  not  continually  pray  and  restrain 
my  thoughts  from  roving  after  the  world  and  its  objects, 
that  after  all  my  exertions,  I  might  lose  iny  soul.  Then 
I  said,  ()  Lord,  strengthen  mo  to  pray  earnestly,  and  exert 
myself  and  all  the  powers  and  faculties  of  my  soul  against 
every  sinful  thing  and  k^atan's  power.  Give  me  that  reli- 
gion tliat  will  stand  by  me  in  time  and  in  eternity  ;  the 
faith  of  assurance  that  I  may  not  doubt  my  salvation,  or 
turn  back  to  sin  and  folly,  and  bring  a  reproach  upon  the 
cause  of  God. 

I  felt  that  the  only  way  to  esca})e  these  evils,  was  to 
cleave  to  the  Lord  with  all  my  heart.  I  therefore  contin- 
ued to  strive  sincerely,  and  said  in  my  heart,  what  nuist  I 
do  ?  Shall  this  struggle  be  maintained  to  the  end  of  life  ? 
Then  I  yielded  to  mercy,  and  fully  gave  myself  up  to  God 
with  all  my  heart,  and  sighed  for  salvation,  and  sudden 
relief  came  to  my  mind,  with  these  words,  ''  Cast  thy  bur- 
den upon  the  Lord  and  he  will  sustain  thee."  It  is  utterly 
impossible  for  mo  to  describe  the  change  I  then  felt.     All 


i 


872 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


.M% 


4}' 


my  guilt,  darkness  and  fear,  was  in  a  moment  removed, 
and  licaven  seemed  to  open  to  my  view.  I  believed  there 
was  joy  amon<^  the  holy  angels  at  my  return.  A  happy 
plenitude  of  the  love,  joy,  and  peace  of  th<  Lord  Jesus 
flowed  through  my  soul,  and  I  felt  that  for  his  sake,  all  my 
sins  were  forgiven.  His  Holy  Spirit  witLes^ing  with  my 
spirit  that  he  was  reconciled  to  me,  as  though  I  had  never 
sinned  against  him.  I  thought  T  was  one  of  the  happiest 
creatures  in  all  creation.  I  gave  myself  unreservedly  to 
him,  believing  that  I  -'as  adopted  into  his  family,  and  had 
become  his  child,  and  that  he  had  come  and  made  las 
abode  with  me. 

0,  how  delightful  were  the  thoughts  of  death  ;  I  consid- 
ered it  as  the  gate  to  endless  joy,  Avhen  I  should  behold 
the  face  ot'  my  blessed  Savior,  and  realize  his  fulness  of 
joy,  und  jjioasures  furevermorc. 

This  blessed  change  took  jdace  on  the  first  day  of  Jan- 
uary, 1787,  between  the  hours  of  three  and  six  in  the  af- 
ternoon, in  the  sixteenth  year  of  my  age ;  a  day  never  to 
be  forgotten  while  I  have  a  being. 

0,  m!iy  it  in  the  last  groat  day  appear, 
That  I  was  horn  for  glorj-  here  ! 

Meditating  on  the  blessing  I  had  just  received,  and 
looking  l>ack  on  my  past  life  ;  I  was  astonished  to  think 
I  had  lived  so  long  ignorantof  the  happiness  which  I  might 
have  enjoyed,  if  I  had  only  known  how  to  have  obtained  it. 
I  thought, had  I  been  all  my  days  shut  up  in  a  dark  prison, 
excluded  from  the  light  of  the  sun,  and  had  been  suddenly 
brought  out  to  behold  its  splendor,  that  it  would  be  but  a 
faint  resemblap'^e  of  the  change  which  I  had  experienced ; 
for  I  felt  that  the  eternal  sun  of  righteousness  had  arisen 
upon  my  soul,  and  that  he  was  to  me  the  one  altogether 


MRS.    MAUY   LRADLEY. 


873 


omcnt  removed, 

I  believed  there 

turn.     A  liappy 

til'   Lord  Jesus 

;  his  sake,  all  my 

\essmg  with  my 

ugh  I  had  never 

of  the  hap|iiest 

unreservedly  to 

family,  and  had 

i  and  made  his 

death  ;  I  consid- 
I  should  behold 
;e  his  fulness  of 

first  day  of  Jan- 

,nd  six  in  the  af- 

a  day  never  to 


lovely,  and  the  fairest  among  ten  thousand  !  I  not  only 
felt  a  happy  chctnge  within,  a  hope  of  heaven,  and  a  deliv- 
erance from  the  fear  of  future  punij5hm*^nt,  but  there  ap- 
peared to  be  a  change  in  everything  beside.  The  word  of 
God,  which  appeared  a  dead  letter,  now  became  a  source 
of  light,  comfort,  and  food  to  my  soul.  Things  in  nature, 
which  previously  wore  a  dreary  asjjcct,  now  became  agree- 
able and  lovely  ;  even  thunder  and  lightning. 

The  following  lines  of  the  poet,  expressive  of  my  feel- 
ings, were  grateful  to  my  mind. 

My  soul  forsakes  '  f^r  vai.   delight, 

And  bids  the  wori     '•rcwell  ; 
Base  as  the  dust  be,      ji  my  feet, 

And  iiiischiev  us  us  hell. 

No  longer  will  I  ask  your  love, 

Nor  seek  your  friendsliij)  more  ; 
The  happiness  which  I  approve, 

Lies  not  within  your  power. 


it  received,  and 
Dnished  to  think 
ss  which  I  might 
have  obtained  it. 
in  a  dark  prison, 
,d  been  suddenly 
t  would  be  but  a 
.ad  experienced; 
sness  had  arisen 
)  one  altogether 


There's  nothing  round  tliis  spacious  earth, 
Which  suits  my  large  desire  : 

To  boundless  joy  and  solid  mirth, 
My  nobler  thoughts  aspire. 

Where  pleasure  rolls  its  living  flood, 

From  sin  and  dross  refined  ; 
Still  springing  from  the  throne  of  God, 

And  fit  to  cheer  the  mind. 

I  send  the  joys  of  earth  away, 
Away  ye  tempters  of  the  mind  ; 

False  as  the  smooth,  deceitful  sea, 
And  empty  as  the  whistling  wind. 


IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT-3) 


1.0 


I.I 


1^ 

1^ 


L25  1 1.4 


M 

|||M 
!  1.8 


1.6 


—    6" 


Photographic 

Sciences 
Corporation 


23  WEST  MAIN  STREET 

WEBSTER,  N.Y.  14580 

(716)  872-4503 


4^ 


V 


^v 


N> 


^9) 


V 


?^ 


^ 


%^24> 


^'h'- 


C/.A 


874 


LIFE   AND    EXPERIENCE   OF 


Your  streams  were  floatintr  me  along, 
Down  to  the  gnlf  of  black  despair, 

And  whilst  I  listened  to  your  song. 
Your  streams  had  e  'en  convoy'd  me  there. 

Lord  I  adore  thy  matchless  grace, 

Which  warned  me  of  that  dark  abyss, 

Which  drew  me  from  those  treach'rous  seas. 
And  bade  me  seek  superior  bliss. 

Now  to  the  shining  realms  above, 

I  stretch  my  hands  and  glance  niine  eyes  ; 

O,  for  the  pinions  of  a  dove. 
To  bear  me  to  the  upper  skies. 

Then  from  the  bosom  of  my  God, 

Oceans  of  endless  pleasures  roll ; 
There  would  I  fix  my  last  abode, 

And  drown  the  sorrows  of  my  soul. 

When  I  surveyed  the  state  of  the  human  family,  and 
thought  that  every  individual  must  pass  through  the  same 
ordeal,  and  meet  with  the  same  change ;  —  for  as  we  are  the 
same  by  nature,  consequently,  Ave  must  become  the  same 
by  grace ;  or  we  could  not  enjoy  the  same  happiness 
together  in  eternity ;  —  I  thought  that  as  Jesus  Christ  died 
for  all,  and  rose  again  for  our  justification,  that  the  invita- 
tion must  be  for  all,  and  that  he  was  willing  to  impart  sal- 
vation to  all  who  repent  of  their  sins,  part  with  their  idols, 
and  renounce  their  fallen  nature  ;  and  I  saw  such  a  ful- 
ness in  Christ,  such  a  willingness  to  save  all  who  would 
come  unto  him  by  faith,  that  I  felt  like  the  poet  : 

"  0»  for  a  trumpot-voicc, 
On  all  the  world  to  call ! 
To  bid  their  hearts  rejoice 

In  Him  who  died  for  all  ! 
For  all  my  Lord  was  crucified  : 
For  all,  for  all  my  Savior  died  I 


■'ftBWiJJTV- 


3re. 


a3. 


MRS.    MARY    BRADLEY. 


375 


I  longed  for  tlicir  salvation,  and  was  persuaded,  if  I 
could  only  explain  to  them  God's  gracious  dealings  with 
me,  and  the  ha])pincss  I  had  obtained,  that  thev  would  have 
an  inclination  to  seek,  as  I  had  done,  till  they  found  that 
full  salvation,  so  freely  offered  in  the  gospel.  0,  that  they 
were  wise,  that  they  undc.-tood  this;  that  they  would 
consider  their  latter  end. 


3S 


nily,  and 
the  same 
e  are  the 
the  same 
lappiness 
irist  died 
le  invita- 
ipart  sal- 
eir  idols, 
ch  a  ful- 
0  would 


"  Prepare  u>,  L*  nl,  i\>v  tliy  rijjlit  liand, 
Then  come  tlie  Joyful  day  ; 
Cuiiie  death,  and  .^onie  celestial  band 
To  bear  our  souls  ;i\vay.'' 

Now  let  us  remember  that  we  have  enjoyed  the  morn- 
ing of  youth,  and  I  hope  since  wo  professed  a  knowledge 
of  tho  truth,  have  been  in  some  measure,  witnesses  for 
God.  We  have  enjoyed  the  meridian  of  life,  and  have 
arrived  at  the  evening  of  our  davs. 

May  we  be  like  old  Simeon  and  Ilannali,  waiting  for  the 
consolation  of  Israel ;  arise,  trim  our  lamps,  and  be  pre- 
pared for  the  coming  of  the  Bridegroom,  as  gold  seven 
times  purified  in  a  furnace  ;  and  as  shocks  of  corn,  fully 
ripe,  ready  to  be  received  into  the  garner. 
I  am,  my  beloved  brother, 

With  my  best  wishes  for  your  perfect  happiness 
And  eternal  life  in  Christ  Jesus, 
Your  Affectionate  Sister, 

MARY  BRADLEY. 


